Lard of the Dance but with corrections to my canon.

Plot

The couch gag is the Simpsons sit down on the couch only for it to be pulled backwards so they fall on their butts. Nelson then peaks out from behind the couch and laughs at them.

The episode starts at Try and Save.

"Oh Hell no!" said Bart and the camera pans to his family going to a cheap stationary store for school stuff.

"Why are we going here? Why can't we go to Try and Save?" Marge asked.

"Because I... did a really bad thing and can never go back... Oh staplers!" said Bart. Running off to get staplers.

Marge sighed annoyed by him evading questions.

Lisa bought notepads because they used the same paper as college.

"Dad they have all kinds of paper here! Loose leaf, graph, lined... (gasp) College ruled..." Lisa Lisa sighed taking the paper.

"Why can't you just write on your arm like I do?" said Homer with a message on his arm reminding him of something.

"I'll handle this!" said Oscar. "Lisa... what's paper made of...?"

"Trees." said Lisa. "Could we get rice paper instead?"

Hugo was greedily eating the rice paper. By sucking it up like Kirby or Mr Conehead of the Coneheads. What? It's edible!

"Nevermind..." said Lisa.

"And what do they do to trees to get paper from them..." Oscar said a mocking tone.

"Cut them down..." said Lisa.

"Exactly..." said Oscar smirking.

"Grrrr! Oz I need paper for school. I have no choice! As much as the thought that trees were cut down to make this paper pains me. I'll have to grin and bare it for now!" said Lisa.

Bart was humming and pushing rubber bands and paper clips into the trolley.

"Bart you're buying a lot of rubber bands and paper clips! Don't you need a note book?" Marge asked him.

"Nope. All work is done on computers now. Only need rubber bands and paper clips... and staplers." Said Bart taking staplers and firing them at a cardboard cutout of security guard Don Brodka which was a memorial to him.

"Bart stop shooting staplers at that security guard who was horribly murdered!" said Marge.

"Jobsworth..." Bart muttered as he left the cardboard cut out. He imagined it telling him not to come to Try and Save. "You better not be coming to my store or it's straight to juvenile hall! Capiche?" Don in Bart's imagination said while smoking a cigarette.

Suddenly.

"Protractor throwing stars! Ninjaaaaa!" Yelled Hugo throwing protractors

"Hugo!" Marge told him off. "Calm down! There is no need to act like you're at the Circus Hugo!"

"Sorry Mom..." said Hugo tidying up the protractors.

"Lisa!" Milhouse gasped when he saw the Simpsons in the nameless cheap stationery store. He wondered why they were there and not the Try N Save.

Outside Try N Save were wanted posters being stuck up for Bart. Wanted for shoplifting. And Oscar. Wanted for first degree homicide.

"Ooooooh... that's probably why..." said Milhouse. "I didn't know Bart stole..."

Meanwhile Milhouse was spying on Lisa and wanted to make a good impression before he attempted yet again to ask her out. He found a glue stick that he thought was a hair styling wax stick. He used the glue to style back his cowlicks like his Fallout Boy ones.

"Now to play it cool..." said Milhouse. He went past Lisa showing off but tripped and fell on a pen display and spilt pens everywhere.

"Hey babe... don't you hate that we have to go back to stupid school again tomorrow..." said Milhouse trying to woo Lisa.

"I like school..." said Lisa.

"Me too! We have so much in common!" said Milhouse.

"Milhouse you have a pen glued to your cowlicks..." said Lisa.

"You don't like it? It's gone!" said Milhouse ripping the pen out of his hair taking some blue hair with it. "Want it?"

"Eeeeeew! No! It has hair on it..." Lisa whined.

"Okay Milhouse... stop hitting on my sister..." Bart sighed as he escorted Milhouse away.

"Uh Quiffy... there's a pen stuck to your cowlicks..." said Oscar as Quiffy has a pen stuck to the tip of his big Quiff.

"You don't like it? It's gone!" said Quiffy tearing out the pen along with some brown hair it was stuck to.

Lisa found a Krusty speak and say.

"A Krusty Speak and Say?" Lisa asked playing with it.

"S is for shiksa! Hooahahahaha! S H I... eeeeerrrr I think there was a T somewhere..." said a recording of Krusty's voice.

Marge gasped horrified when Krusty spelt out "Shit" instead of shiksa. "Hmmmmm! That toy isn't age appropriate sweetie..." Marge took the toy from her.

Oscar took all the calculators and wrote BooBS on them in calculator letters. 58008 then turn the calculator upside down. Bart laughed.

"Oscar stop that!" Marge told Oscar off.

...

Sometime later after shopping with his family for school supplies Homer went to the Kwik e Mart.

"Hi Apu! My usual please!" said Homer.

"You're usual bucket of ice cream covered in miniature pies." said Apu.

"And..." said Homer impatient.

"One Kwik E Dog, one bubble gum cigar and the latest issue of Success magazine."

"Thank you." said Homer.

"And can I help myself to the pick and mix to make my own donut topping?" Homer asked.

Apu made a very annoyed angry fluster. "Aghdahgrrrrdadageh! Why must you make a mockery of my make your own donut service?!" Apu yelled. "Ugh... Fine... as you wish Homer..."

Homer put a twizzler, a Mars bar and some Jolly Rogers on a pink frosted donut and paid for it.

"And one Playdude to read while I offer Ganesh a peanut!" said Homer.

"That's it! Pay for your goods and get the hell out of my store! And come again!" said Apu telling him off. "That all comes to... 63 cents?! Stupid machine! We are more expensive not less!"

Homer chuckled at Apu getting frustrated with his till and once Apu rudely told him the actual price he paid for his goods and left.

Oscar was next.

"One blue flavoured Squishee Apu! And one tofu dog, I'm aware they're vegan... I'll get a meat one later at sloppy Joes..." said Oscar. "Topped with ketchup and mustard. Hold the onions."

Apu made Oscar a blue squishee and a tofu hotdog topped with ketchup and mustard. Oscar paid for his goods. He then tried the tofu dog.

"Ugh! This doesn't taste right!" said Oscar disgusted with his tofu hotdog.

"Well, I did just clean out the grease trap of the hotdog maker." said Apu.

"Ugh but without the grease all you can taste is the hog anus!" said Oscar chewing on his tofu hotdog.

"Uh excuse me child but there is no anuses of any kind in my tofu dogs! They are strictly vegetarian!"

"Yes I was reading Homer's nonsensical lines. Now grease up my hotdog!" said Oscar.

"I'm sorry Oscar but I sold all the grease to the rendering plant!" said Apu.

"People buy Grease?!" Oscar gasped.

"Why yes! Grease is a valuable commodity! Why it's used in many things! Such as soap, cosmetics, baby food... the movie Grease..." said Apu.

"I better tell Homer! He loves hare brained schemes!" said Oscar. "But first let's engage in idle conversation while people in the background cause trouble in your store. I'm getting you back for not allowing me to claim the lottery winnings to a lottery ticket just because I'm a minor..."

Apu sighed as the man who helps himself to the grapes was eating the grapes. Snake held Apu at gun point demanding all the money in his till.

"Hey it's Wednesday you kleptomaniac! Relinquish your earnings my Hindu friend or die!" said Sideshow Bob dressed as Krusty again.

"No it's Thursday, Bob. My stealing day!" said Snake.

Oscar's phone rang. He had changed the tone to the Friends theme. For reasons.

Marge then snuck in and stole a bottle of liquor.

"Marge..." Oscar frowned at her in disappointment.

Marge blushed embarrassed and put the bottle of liquor back.

"Lemons are panda eggs." said Oscar.

"That's ridiculous. Mammals don't lay eggs..." Hugo sighed.

"Anyhoo we have to talk Hugey..." Oscar frowned.

"About what?" Hugo replied, scowling.

"When I make you dinner Hugey I don't expect you to abscond and not turn up like some Kirk Brandon!" Oscar yelled.

"Uh..."

"He was Boy George's Ex and he didn't turn up to an onion ring dinner he made for him!" Oscar yelled.

"Can you have your domestic elsewhere? I am being robbed!" said Apu as Snake held him a gun point and stole from the till.

Sideshow Bob dressed as Krusty in another attempt to frame him stormed off.

Oscar sighed and left with Hugo.

"What d'ya Wanna see now Oscar. Since we all have to do what you want..." Hugo sighed.

"I want to see Henry Winkler covered in bees..." said Oscar.

Hugo grimaced deeply concerned with Oscar.

"And then spend some time in my bedroom, in just a diaper and allowing Teddy, my living teddy bear creature with a big wet shiny black nose to sniff my diaper repeatedly..." Oscar continued.

Hugo frowned, creeped out by him.

"Garfield is a Ghostbuster." said Oscar.

"Yes... Garfield's a Ghostbuster..." said Hugo as they walked home.

"The world must not lose a magnificent brain like mine!" Hugo declared dramatically. "Which is why I am eternally grateful to you for saving me, Oscar." He said softly to Oscar.

"D'aaaaawwwwww! I wuv you too!" Oscar cooed, hugging Hugo.

Hugo grimaced.

...

Simpsons garage.

Oscar told Homer while drinking his Squishee.

"People buy grease?! Then I must be rich! Woohoo! My arteries are clogged with yellowy, fatty gold!" Homer was ecstatic.

"Yeah now if only there were some way to extract that yellowy, fatty gold..." said Oscar. "Oh wait! We can! It's called liposuction!"

"Yeah but it costs money Einstein! I'm trying to make money not lose it..." said Homer.

At home Homer was frying up some bacon.

"That Bacon is fried up enough boy!" said Homer. He threw the bacon to the dog. Santa's Little Helper ate it while moaning. "And now for the profit taking... heheheh!"

Homer poured the boiling hot grease into a tin.

"Um Dad... I don't think the dog can handle anymore bacon..." said Bart. Santa's Little Helper was very fat...

"Time to give him another squeezing!" said Homer.

"Homer! That side of bacon was for my bridge night..." said Marge.

"Whoa! Whoa! You play bridge..." said Oscar.

"Yes Oscar..." said Marge.

"And you have bacon sandwiches..." said Oscar.

"Yes Oz..." said Marge.

"Wow you live an interesting life..." said Oscar sarcastically.

"Homer are you selling grease?" Marge asked in disbelief.

"No... I'm making money through savings and hard work!" said Homer sarcastically. "Of course I'm selling grease!"

He left with Bart carrying tins of hot grease.

"Ugh..really Dad... grease..." Hugo sighed.

"Well I'd like to see you come up with a get quick rich scheme..." Homer frowned.

"I have. I made a few thousand dollars by bringing dinosaurs back to life and holding a zoo in my attic..." said Hugo.

"Well where's the money now, gimme." said Homer.

"It's in my college fund, where it will stay..." said Hugo.

Homer sighed.

"Before this day is ended, mankind shall grovel helplessly at my feet - and, as fate has obviously ordained - Hugo Victor Jeremiah Simpson shall be Master of this Earth!" Hugo boasted.

Bart grimaced at his twin.

"No world domination until you're 18..." said Homer.

Plot 2

One school morning.

"Come on Bart the school bus is here!" said Lisa as she left for school with Hugo and Oscar.

"Whooooa! Not so fast boy." said Homer grabbing Bart by his shorts.

"But Dad it's the first day of school!" said Bart.

"Not for you! You're learning the grease trade business!" said Homer.

"Homer! Bart is going to school!" Marge yelled.

"(Frustrated growl) You're really pushing it baby!" Homer growled as Bart left for school.

"Thanks for trying Dad..." said Bart getting on the school bus.

"Fine we'll try again at three on the dot! Don't be late!" said Homer.

"Thanks a lot Marge!" Homer growled as he went off to sell grease alone.

Marge grumbled annoyed.

Homer was driving about annoyed. "Stupid kids and School! Annoying nagging wife thinks what's best for them! Goku doesn't get this much trouble..."

In a cutaway at Goku and Chichi's house.

"Oh no! Frieza is attacking again! Come on son! We're off to save the world!" said Goku to Gohan.

"Oh hell no! You are not pulling our son out of school to risk his life fighting an alien dictator! He has algebra to study!" Chichi stopped them.

"Sweeetheart... there is a almighty alien warlord attacking Earth... we either go down fighting or we die like cowards when Frieza tosses a miniature sun at the planet..." said Goku getting frustrated with his wife.

They bicker over Gohan's education.

"Quick son! We can fly!" said Goku to Gohan and they flew away because Saiyans and half Saiyans can fly!"

"Ooooooh!" Chi-Chi growled frustrated.

Third Grade classroom.

"Well look who's finally talking to me..." said Inane Brian to Ace the vampire.

"Do you need more blood?" Oscar asked.

"I don't need blood. Why is that your first question just because I'm a vampire?!" Ace sighed.

Oscar shrugged.

Around town. Homer is selling grease.

"Hey, idiot! You left the lid on the dumpster up last night. Crows scattered garbage all over the place and Oscar, being a lunatic left his little biting clown things in there again!" Moe yelled at the owner of King Toots as they are next to each other.

Some rabid Clownjas were in Moe's dumpster hissing at Moe and the owner of King Toots.

"Moe I don't have time for this... I have to open my store... and don't mention that little screwball. Yesterday he kept demanding a talking blue piano called Oscar.

"He invoked a swarm of bees upon me..." Henry Winkler covered in bee stings groaned.

Homer came over to them.

"Hey, Homer. You look good. Did you lose weight?" Moe asked being friendly to one of his customers.

"Uh no..." said Homer.

"Ah. I got it. Nice shirt." said Moe.

"Moe I wear the same white shirt and blue pants everyday..." said Homer.

...

At second grade class. Ralph is up doing show and tell. He has plasters on both his eyes.

"And that's when the doctor said I have two lazy eyes!" said Ralph.

"Very interesting Ralph. Now please take your seat." said Miss Hoover.

Ralph, completely blind at the moment walked out of the classroom.

"Uh Ralph..." said Lisa.

"Hey Blindy! Nice trip!" said Nelson tripping Ralph over. Ralph yells as he crashes into something.

"Haw Haw!" Now this is really, really odd. Because later in Stealing First Base Nelson feels sorry for a blind kid. I get the impression blind people wrote an extremely angry letter to Fox and they had to change Nelson's character to be sympathetic to blind people. Because it's just not funny.

"Like when I claimed I had Tourette's to get out of doing a test and it got censored..." said Bart.

In second grade Skinner calls over the Tannoy. "Calling Miss Hoover's class! I have an important announcement!'

"Hi Principal Skinner..." said Miss Hoover.

"Now I need a volunteer to guide a new student around!" said Skinner. Only Lisa raised her hand to volunteer. "I assume only Lisa has her hand up... come to my office Lisa..."

Fourth grade.

Bart sat bored. Come on Dad... break me out of school...

But Homer couldn't. Because Marge wouldn't let him.

"Class today we're learning about Woodrow Wilson. Who was President of the United States." said Mrs Krabappel.

Martin paid absolute attention and was eager to learn.

"How about Woodrow Wilson Guthrie?" Milhouse asked. He was a damn hippy socolist musician.

"No you damn hippy communist!" Hugo yelled getting up. "Can't you all see that humanity is better off under one evil yet glorious ruler!"

"Hugo sit down..." Mrs Krabappel sighed.

Bart grimaced at Hugo.

Remedial cool down room. Disabled kids were um... being themselves but without the other kids laughing at them. Cue some kids screaming or rubbing their own head with their knuckles in anxiety.

Ralph was escorted there by Miss Hoover.

"He has two lazy eyed..., Miss Hoover explained he was currently blind because of the bandaids covering his eyes. Ralph looked about confused unable to see anything but darkness.

Oscar came in. "I brought my teddy bear creature in again and got laughed at." He had Teddy with him.

Warren from Cypress Creek transferred over to Springfield Elementary for a while.

"I start fires!" said Warren.

"Me too!" said Ralph.

A remedial or mentally disabled kid gawked concerned and worried.

"Can you stop talking about burning things... it's weird..." Vector, a blond remedial boy in first grade obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine sighed.

"Be quiet mashed potato!" Ralph said in a cross tone.

Oscar winced, baffled by his gibberish.

...

Lisa was in Skinner's office. "There's a school dance coming up Lisa so it is most important you help this new little girl fit in. Show her round, how things work, the cafeteria etc.

"I understand Principal Skinner, Sir. I know what it was like to be the new kid once..." said Lisa.

There's a flash back to her first day at school.

Lisa sits near Janey.

"Eeeeeeew! you like the Monkees?! You know they don't write their own songs!"

"Yes they do!" said Lisa.

"And that's not his real hat!"

Lisa screamed. "Nooooooooo!"

In the present she's crying.

"Yes, yes. children can be cruel..." said Skinner.

"Are you sure?" Lisa asked.

"Good! Come in Alex Whitney!" said Skinner thinking about 'Nam. A popular girl wearing a tartan skirt came in.

"Alex, this is Lisa Simpson. Lisa, meet Alex." said Skinner.

"Oh my god! You're name is Lisa!? Shut up! I love that name!" Alex Whitney gasped. By the way Alex is voiced by Lisa Kudrow from Friends. Let the hilarity ensue!

"Did she just tell me to shut up?!" Lisa gasped.

"Uh... take this outside..." said Skinner ushering the two young girls out of his office.

"You'll want a locker in this corridor. It's library adjacent." said Lisa.

Alex was on her mobile phone texting.

"You have a mobile?!" Lisa gasped.

"Oh! Don't be such a Phoebe!" said Alex. Hehehehe! She's referencing her character on Friends...

Lisa was baffled.

"Smelly cat... smelly cat.. What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat... it's not your faaaaaauuuuulllt!" Oscar sung while playing his guitar.

"Oz! I said that's enough! Stop playing that stupid song!" Lisa yelled.

"Oh boy I hope we get a cameo from David Schwimmer..." said Oscar wandering off.

Lisa winced.

Alex was putting on perfume.

"Is that perfume?!" Lisa asked.

"It's pretension by Calvin Klein." said Alex. Mmmmmm! German Denim... "try some!"

Alex sprayed some perfume on Lisa she coughed because it was potent. "Mmmmmmhmmmm! Kack! Haaaack!"

"Yeah it is a bit strong." said Alex.

Oscar went off and bumped into Ace.

"There's something um about my latest girlfriend..." said Ace.

"Does she have a lazy eye?" Inane Brian asked.

"Uh no..." said Ace.

"Does she eat chalk?!" Oscar asked.

Ace and Brian look bemused at him.

...

After school, because of Marge's meddling... Bart and Homer went to the Krusty Burger restaurants in town to get grease from the fryers and creep out the Squeaky voiced Teens working there.

"Bart you're late..." Homer was disappointed he was leaving the school late.

"Yeah I know. Krabappel gave me detention." said Bart.

Anyhoo in Krusty Burger.

"Good old Krusty Burger." said Bart.

Oscar drooled hungry for burgers.

"Oh, I'll say. Look at that redheaded kid. There must be $20 worth of grease on his forehead alone." said Homer.

"I was thinking more of the deep fryer." said Bart.

"All right. We'll try it your way." said Homer.

Homer goes right up to Squeaky Voiced Teen and creeps him out.

"Can I help you, sir?" asked Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"Man you're greasy..." said Homer getting rather close and personal to Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"Sir..." Squeaky Voiced Teen asked his boss for help.

"Hey stop hassling my staff!" said Krusty.

"Krusty!" Bart cheered.

"Hooahahahaha! What are you doing here um... my favorite fan..." said a Krusty.

"My Dad is selling grease..." said Bart.

"Uh... okay..." said Krusty. "I know! You could go to Italy! They're always greasy!"

Bart laughed. "Classic old fashioned racism! Hilarious!"

"Thanks but tickets cost money Krusty and errr we do not have time for a vacation this episode..." said Homer.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing here..." Krusty sighed.

"I can't beliiiiieeeeeece what I am hearing heeeeeereeeee!" Oscar sang.

Bart frowned at him.

"What? We don't have time for a-" said Homer.

"Whaaaaaaat? We don't have tiiiiiiime foooooor a-" Oscar sang.

"Would you stop?" Bart said to Oscar, annoyed at him.

"Oh, was I doing it again?" Oscar asked.

"Anyway so I'm selling grease... can I have yours from your deep fat fryer?" Homer asked.

"No! This is my oily gold!" said Krusty.

"Sir what would you like to order?" Squeaky Voiced Teen asked.

"Siiiiir what would you like to ordeeeerrrr-Ecccccck!" Oscar sang again. But Homer strangled him.

Plot 3

Homer then poured loads of grease into the back of Marge's orange car. Bart looked at the grease.

"Mom is going to kill you, Homer..." said Bart.

"Well she shouldn't have let me borrow her car..." said Homer.

Hugo was suddenly there after popping out of the bushes.

"Daddy." He corrected Bart.

"Homer..." said Bart.

"Daddy..."

"Homer..."

"Enough you two! There's no point Hugo. He won't address me properly." said Homer.

At home Marge is on the drive wondering where her car went. "Oooooooh!" She was annoyed.

However something sucked up Homer's grease. "My grease!"

It was being sucked into a tanker driven by some rubber necks from a rough area.

"Hey! You're stealing our grease!" Homer whined.

"It's our grease now..." said the rough guys clobbering Homer with a shovel.

"Oooooow!" Homer groaned.

"Are you asking to die?!" said Oscar angry as he pointed a gun at the rough necks.

"Oz no!" Bart told him off for pointing guns at people.

"Fine... I'll beat them to death with my karate... Aaaaaiiiieee!" Oscar beat the rough necks soundly with karate.

"Let's get outta here! We won't steal grease no more!" The men fled.

"Hey they left their tanker!" said Homer. He chuckled and filled Marge's car boot with grease.

Bart sighed wondering why he was part of this crazy get rich quick scheme.

...

At school during recess the next day. Lisa was introducing Alex to her friends. Well her on and off friends. It's weird...

"This is Janey, Alison..." Alison from Lisa's rival. "Wanda, Sherri and Terri. They're identical twins." said Lisa. Sherri and Terri were there with the other girls.

"Oh twins eh? Which one is the evil one?" Alex asked.

Hugo laughed maniacally having tied Bart to a playground bench to perform surgery on him.

"Help me!" Bart cried.

Lisa winced and made a forced laugh.

Alex then explained her life.

"So when did your parents move here Alex?" Lisa asked.

Lisa hit a raw nerve.

"My mom wasn't ready to have children when my dad got her and his second wife pregnant in a threesome. So Lily adopted me and my sister Ursula." Alex explained. "Then my dad left us one day and Lily then committed suicide by sticking her head in the oven and turning it on..."

"Eep!" Lisa said feeling uncomfortable.

"I've been living on the streets since I was fourteen... then I lived in a burnt out Buick LeSabre until I was eighteen. I never got the chance to go to school so it feels great to somehow be a kid again..." said Alex.

"Okay..." said Lisa.

"Help meeeeeee!" Bart cried off screen.

Oscar went to palaeontology class with Hugo only to yell Unagi at the teacher who was Ross from friends.

Hugo was cleaning a fossil when he was startled because Oscar screamed "Unagi!" at the teacher and he ran off screaming.

"Oz!" Hugo told Oscar off.

...

Lisa and Alex were still chatting.

"So what's haps around here? What do you do for fun?" Alex asked.

"Well Malibu Stacy dolls are really popular in Springfield. You should get one. The latest has an achievable chest!" said Lisa.

"Uh huh... didn't those dolls use to be a lot more fun when the hadn't got political and feminist with that Lisa Lionheart Malibu Stacy?" Alex asked.

"Hey those dolls are great and they only made a success because Oscar and McBain went Commando and fired a rocket launcher at the forklift carrying an older season's doll with a new hat." said Lisa.

"Okay... what else is fun?" Alex asked thinking Lisa's adventures were weird.

"Well... Jacks are in right now." said Lisa.

"Oh that game with the little rubber ball and the caltrops." said Alex.

Lisa jabbers on about Jacks being in and out of trend. Now it was a thing again... etc.

Alex looked bored.

Elsewhere.

"Oz..." Ace was annoyed with Oscar.

"Yeeeeees..." Oscar said in an annoying smug manner.

"Why did you give my Frankenstein monster butler socks?!" Ace yelled.

"To set him free from your servitude..." said Oscar.

"Oz that is house elves! It doesn't work for monsters!" Ace yelled.

Bart grimaced.

Hugo was cleaning a fossil still.

"Oh! It's a trilobite!" said Martin.

"Yes Martin. A trilobite." said Hugo.

...

Meanwhile in the hallways Bart was explaining to a new kid voiced by Mart Leblanc the latest toy for boys.

"Krusty the clown is hilarious! You'll plotz! And uh the dolls are really popular right now..."

"No they're not doofus! You're the only boy in school with a a Krusty doll..." said Jimbo.

Everyone laughed. Bart blushed as he hugged his Krusty doll. "Well... um... Radioactive man is pretty popular."

"No it's not dork! Grow up!" said Dolph. Everyone laughed at Bart.

"Uh huh... I think this school is stuck in a social clique where kids aren't allowed to be kids and have to grow up too fast or be classed as losers..." said the boy. "Now I must role play as Dr Drake Remoray."

"Um okay..." said Bart.

"Hey, how you doin..." said the Matt Leblanc boy to all the girls. They weren't interested.

Suddenly the tannoy speakers rang out with xylophone tones as Skinner had hired the xylophone lady from Grease to play the xylophone before messages but she wouldn't stop playing so he confiscated the xylophone.

"Attention students. The following pupils are gay: Milhouse Van Houten. That is all." said Skinner.

Everyone laughed at Milhouse.

"Oh that Skinner's behaviour makes me so mad I! I... I.." Oscar growled. "I got it! I'll have pizza!"

A floating pizza with a face appeared. "Howdedooooo! I love you!" It said.

Oscar grabs and promptly devours the pizza as it screams in horror.

"You are so weird..." said Ace to Oscar.

Oscar glared at him.

Milhouse was crying.

"Oh quit blubbering Milhouse..." said Skinner.

Oscar seethed annoyed at the principal picking on Milhouse.

...

However Lisa soon realised Alex wasn't as nice as she thought. She was going on about jazz when Alex allowed Janey etc to whisk her off somewhere.

"Hey! She ran off!" Lisa whined. "How rude!"

At home.

"And get this! She walked off when I was in mid conversation with her!" Lisa ranted.

"I'm sure there was a reasonable explanation dear..." said Marge.

"And get this! She has a mobile!"

Marge gasped.

"She wears perfume!"

Marge gasped even more.

"And she drinks iced tea..."

"Oh... Well I like iced tie..." said Marge.

"Well good. Because she invited us all over to her mansion tomorrow..." said Lisa.

"Ooooooooh! Swanky!" Oscar cooed.

"Please don't embarrass me Oz..." Hugo groaned.

Oscar frowned at him.

"Well I sold a barrel of grease today and made a hundred dollars." said Homer.

"Uh Huh... I'd prefer if you took up a sensible job instead of crackpot ideas like selling grease..." Marge frowned.

"Everyone at school thinks I'm a baby just because I like Krusty still..." said Bart.

"You are a baby... you have a doll..." Lisa snarked.

Bart scowled while holding his Krusty doll.

"Well working for your old man's grease business is pretty grown up, isn't it?" Homer asked.

...

Alex's mansion.

Her butler welcomes them in.

"At ease, Jeeves. Here take a few dollars for yourself..." Bart bribed the butler.

"Thank you, Master Bartholomew." said the butler.

"Kallae kistnae..." Oscar rasped as they walked down the halls.

Hugo sighed.

Lisa met up with Alex again,

"Sorry Lisa that I walked off. The girls wanted to show me this trees." Alex made a phoney excuse.

"Sure... No hard feelings..." said Lisa.

"Good. The girls and I got you a present." said Alex giving her a gift.

"diamond earrings!" Lisa gasped. "Oh but these are for pierced ears..." said Lisa.

"Thats okay. We'll help! All you need is a stapler and lots of wet towels." said Alex. Ouch!

"Uh no thanks." said Lisa.

"Ey suit yourself..." said Alex waiting until Lisa left to roll her eyes.

"Look at me! I'm Lisa See? Hopeless in virginity! Won't go to bed, till I'm legally wed! I can't I'm Lisa, see?" Alex and the other girls sung mockingly. And laughing.

"Hey!" Lisa yelled.

Meanwhile the rest of the family had iced tea and sesame cakes. But an African warlord wouldn't let them have any.

"Mr Simpson. Stop eating my sesame cake..." said the guy.

"Mmmmm..." Homer enjoyed the sesame cake.

"Stop eating my sesame cake!" The warlord/poacher yelled.

Bart grimiest.

"It's a Congo reference..." said Oscar.

Hugo sighed and drank his iced tea.

...

At school the student body are deciding the nights events for the end of the academic year. Lisa explained so far they have an Apple themed evening with apple bobbing, apple shy, apples on strings apple picking etc.

"Don't forget apple bobbing!" said Skinner.

"I said Apple bobbing already Principal Skinner." said Lisa.

Alex doesn't like the idea. "My old school weren't big on fruit. How about a school dance?"

"That's a great idea Alex." said Lisa

"Certainly not! Steve Jobs threatened not to sue if he could run our apple themed events which were nothing to do with Apple but about the fruit!" said Skinner.

"Sir remember when I got a scorpion in my apple sauce..." said Lisa.

"Oh fine! You can have a dance!" said Skinner.

"Oh but wouldn't the loud music scare the ponies?" said Lisa.

"There wouldn't be any ponies at a school dance, Lisa..." said Skinner.

"Shut up, childish me! We're trying to get popular!" Lisa's Brain scolded herself. The popularity area of her brain got bigger and bigger...

"Uuuuuuuh..." Lisa acted stupid as if she forgot stuff to learn about popularity.

Outside the lockers she put up a poster for school dance.

"School dance?! I didn't agree to no school dance?!" said Skinner.

"Yes you did sir... in your office. Remember?" Lisa replied.

Plot 4

Alex then took Lisa to the Little Sluts clothes store to dress inappropriately for little girls and instead like harlots so pedophiles get aroused!

"No freaking way! Alex I'm not wearing that! My mom wouldn't approve, and she'd be right! I'm only eight years old!" said Lisa.

"So's your look..." said Alex.

"Hey!" Lisa yelled. "Now you listen here!"

"Okay! DMY! DMY!" Alex replied calming her.

"DMY?" Lisa asked.

"Don't mess yourself." Alex replied.

"Eeeeeeew!" Lisa groaned.

"Yes that's why we started using acronyms." said Alex.

"Well, we look pretty, Lisa. Sorry you want to look dowdy..." said Sherri and Terri dressed inappropriately for little girls at what is just a school dance.

"Mmmmmmmmm! Forbidden..." said Gary Glitter.

The girls screamed.

"Okay! Okay! We'll dress like little girls are supposed to then!" Alex cried.

At Home.

"Homer why are you selling grease..." Marge sighed.

"Look this is one of my zany ideas like when I undermined the second prohibition of alcohol or when I had that emu farm..." said Homer.

"Chi Chi I am aware Gohan needs a good education to get a good job but there is a space tyrant alien capable of destroying an entire planet attacking! If Frieza wins then there is no Earth or jobs!" said Goku to Chi Chi in the lounge.

"Our son must attend school!" Chi Chi yelled.

Marge and Homer cringed.

Bart cane in. He had a sound investment for a zany idea to make money as most of Homer's zany ideas were get rich quick schemes.

Homer liked his idea and tousled his spiked hair.

"Hey what about me?" Hugo whined.

"SHUT UP!" Homer snapped at him.

...

Bart was showing the new boy around.

"Hey! Your mall has a Dingo Junction!" said the new boy pointing to a Dash Dingo themed store.

"Now how comes Crash never got that popular?!" Oscar asked the fourth wall.

"Mooooom! This game is for babies! Sony is edgy and cool! Only Nintendo makes baby games!" The boy from Try and Save groaned.

"Okay! No more fun colourful mascots! Only Grand Theft Auto, the same Fifa Soccer game every year but with a new year on the title and hundreds of Call of Duty clones!" The CEO of Sony yelled.

"Hey!" Monkey and Tombi cried.

Oscar rolled his eyes.

The new kid voiced by Matt Le Blanc took Bart into the Dingo Junction store. There were hats and t shirts with Dash on them. Plushies and lunchboxes and games.

"Oh my gosh! Dash Dingo! Dash Dingo 2: Mortex Dundee and the revenge of the outback! Dash Dingo 3: Warped!" said Bart looking through the games.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Dash Dingo: The seven Crystal babies" said the new kid.

"Mmmmmmya... I prefer Kyro the wagon..." said Database. He got beaten up by Jimbo and his gang.

...

Then for some random reason Homer filled the house with Emus.

"Homer no! We are not running an Emu farm!" Marge told him off.

Homer whined.

At school. Nelson was having an odd debate about Huckleberries. "The thing about Huckleberries is, once you go fresh, you never go back to canned."

Skinner arrived finding it odd Nelson wasn't going on about beating people up.

"And errr... Then I totally pulverised the guy!" said Nelson quickly. Skinner left satisfied.

"Anyway, If the berries are too tart, just add confectionery sugar." said Nelson.

"Why is there no fruit called Tom Sawyers?!" Bart yelled.

"Because I'm obviously far more popular and my name has a ring to it..." said Nelson as Huckleberry Finn.

Lisa arrived walking awkwardly in high hills and dressed like a slut in a black dress.

"Whoooooooooaaaa!" said the boys at her makeover.

"I've got chilllllllllls... they're multiplying! And I'm losing controoooool!" A John Travolta kid sung while Oscar played his guitar. Nelson winded the John Travolta kid.

What it's a reference to when Sandy got that slutty makeover at the end of the movie...

Then Milhouse was at the school nurse having been given a very painful wedgie.

"I'll get the forceps." said Doris who to save money, is both the lunch lady and the school nurse.

"And then Danny Zuko and Sandy flew away in Kenickie's Greased Lightning car that suddenly can fly, the end!" said Oscar in the nurse's office toilets sticking something down that sounded like diaper tapes.

Milhouse rolled his eyes.

Then Lisa strangely could not get a date with any of her boyfriends or boyfriends to be.

"Sorry, taken." said Langdon Alger the quantum lichen.

"Nuh uh..." said Nelson with a big brute of a girl, like that monobrow girl on steroids Arnold from Hey Arnold once dated.

"I'm already spoken for!" said Ralph with a date some how.

She went to ask Milhouse who was having his wedgie administered to.

But Milhouse even had a date already! A girl with braces was there.

Trivia Lisa Kudrow Aka Phoebe guest stars. Homer sells grease.