Faith Off Bart becomes a faith Healer. Oscar keeps bugging him about when he was a Scientologist. It's true! Snowball II is memeing and something involving Nicholas Cage.

Plot

The chalkboard gag is "I will stop phoning it in."

The couch gag is a Sigmund Freud look a like psychiatrist is sat in a chair. Homer lies on the couch and cries. "Oh Doctor I'm crazy!" He says while sobbing. The psychiatrist takes notes.

...

One late afternoon, Bart is studying his spellbook to learn how to turn frogs into princes for his next lesson.

"Kermit hermit!" He casts a spell with his magic wand and turns a frog into a cave dwelling hermit who hid in his closet.

"Well at least he's human. I might get a C or D at least." said Bart.

However Lisa marches in very angry with him.

"Bart! What did you do with the Monkey's Paw?!" Lisa yells.

"Yeesh! You're pretty mad! Look it's a long story..." said Bart.

"Of course I'm mad! That paw was a very powerful artefact! Who knows what trouble is could cause in the wrong hands?!" Lisa yelled.

"Lis, I'm trying to recall how I lost the monkey's paw..." Bart sighed.

"Technically it's a hand..." said Lisa.

After Homer gave the expired monkey's paw to Ned, which reset it. Oscar went to the house of evil where a better version of it, a gorilla's paw was for sale. The shopkeeper explained the difference between the two. One only grants four wishes, the other grants infinite wishes.

Oscar gave the Gorilla's paw as a gift. However the family kept calling it a monkey's paw because they're not very good with taxonomy.

"Just get to the part where it went missing!" Lisa demanded he hurry up.

Bart sighed and continued the story. One afternoon he took the paw to teach Jimbo a lesson. However the bullies took it from him and caused all sorts of chaos with it. Such as ending up in Bonestorm Arena and turning Bart into a baby. Bart explained he got the paw back, but wished for the gorilla it belonged to, so it would help him. However the angry one armed ape smashed up the place and chased Bart forcing him to return the paw to it. The paw revived and reattached itself to its original owner.

"And that's what happened. Honest." Bart replied.

"No! And then crazy stuff happened and Teddy as a slime monster Teddy slimed your diaper and glued you to things and sunk you in sinking slime..." Oscar went on and on.

"Yes I know, you got freaky with the episode because you ran out of things to write..." Bart groaned.

"You...! You're gonna have to buy a replacement! Now!" Lisa demanded.

"But they're extremely rare! Where am I gonna get another Gorilla paw..." Bart groaned.

"Just get one!" Lisa yelled.

...

Bart groaned as he thought of the events of Treehouse of Horror VIII...

One day in 1695 Springfield, Bartholomew has enough of living with his Dad Homer/Duhwood because he keeps strangling him.

"I wanna live with Mom!" Bartholomew packed his bags and ran off for the mountains where the witches supposedly lived.

He arrived at his Aunts' cave. Aunt Patty and Selma and Mom were there stirring a cauldron.

"Sweetie, what are you doing here?" Marge asked.

"I wanna live here with you and Aunt Patty and Selma! I wanna learn how to be a wizard!" Bartholomew replied.

Marge hrmmmed. "I'll speak with your father first..."

Marge spoke with Homer about Bartholomew living with her and learning magic. Homer agreed because Bartholomew was driving everyone nuts with his pranks.

Marge bought some supplies to teach Bartholomew magic. Bartholomew is shown learning simple magic.

He turned a frog into a puking frog man. Ie a sin against nature.

"Blllluuuuugh! Every moment of my life is agony!" said the vomiting frog mutant.

Bartholomew winced.

Then there was a Dolph troll. Instead of beating Bartholomew up, he was picking his nose. Bartholomew grimaced in disgust as he was pulling out a stretchy gooey booger...

"Eeeeeew!" Bartholomew groaned.

"Why am I a nose picking troll in the Puritan era?!" Dolph asked baffled.

Meanwhile Puritan Oscar in Spryngfeld was letting his living teddy bear creature Teddy sniff his diaper again...

Then there was a magic talking taco voiced by James Earl Jones.

"I find your lack of guacamole disturbing..." said the James Earl Jones voiced taco.

Oscar grabbed the talking taco and ate it.

"I'm not changing your taco butt later..." said Teddy. Mexican food gives Oscar stinky poop.

Bartholomew was learning how to make a simple potion but used too much eye of newt so it blew up. Giving him a slot covered face.

...

Bart in the present is then reading his family tree. He sees that further back in time, during the medieval period that his ancestor/counterpart was a nomaj. (He couldn't do magic as he had none.) Where as his sister of that time was a witch.

"Ugh, just my luck..." Bart groaned.

Somewhere in Medieval Springfield.

Bart Serfson sneezes, as this is a common proverb that you sneeze when someone is talking about you.

"Cover your mouth when you sneeze Bart..." Marge told him.

Azzlan the talking lion arrived to ask everyone to join his religion.

"Can I beseech to you about the good lord?" asked Azzlan.

"No now go back to Narnia!" Homer Serfson yelled.

Bart sighed and went out to play with goblin Milhouse and his clones. Ie clobbering them.

"I'm Elfo." said Elfo.

Bart Serfson sighed.

Elsewhere Oscar was delighted his ancestor was the prince of Cannock from Dragon Quest II.

Hugo Serfson winced.

"I'd recognise that cool hair do and those green goggles anywhere! I was a prince! Woohoo!" Oscar cheered.

Back in the present, Bart goes to the occult district where the bazaar and the House of Evil shop are. However neither of them have Gorilla paws for sale.

"No sorry." said the Asian shopkeeper.

Bart sighed.

"We do sell frozen yogurt, that I call frogurt though!" The House of Evil shopkeeper explained.

"I'll pass..." Bart sighed.

"Good idea. It's cursed." said the shopkeeper.

"Well, smell ya later..." said Bart.

He headed towards Androids Dungeon only to find Hugo trashing a bistro because he was annoyed by the variety of Italian coffees.

"Just order a regular cup of Joe!" Hugo yelled.

...

Bart tells Lisa the bad news. She's not happy.

"Lisa, your brother tried, now stop bothering him!" Marge tells her.

"But he cost us a very powerful artefact!" Lisa groaned. "From now on you don't touch other people's stuff! Got it?!" Lisa told him off.

"Fine..." Bart sighed as he went to his room.

"Emmeline Pankhurst could kick Susan B Anthony's butt." said Oscar.

"Sure, Limey boy..." Lisa smirked.

"Stop discussing nerdy things! Losers!" Bart yelled from the hallway.

Bart went to his room and played Bonestorm.

Marge grumbled as it was too nice outside and sunny for him to be indoors playing video games. Particularly the one he stole.

Outside Bart missed out his friends doing odd occasional things that seemed out of character.

Nelson was picking huckleberries. "You can make lots of things outta huckleberries. Like pie."

"I LIKE PIE!" Teddy yelled enthusiastically and joyfully.

Lewis grimaced at him.

Nelson then went on and on about an Andy Williams musical he liked.

"Dude! Enough about Andy! Get back to whaling on dorks!" Jimbo Jones groaned.

"I am a man with a deeper character than just the schoolyard bully!" Nelson declared in a thespian tone.

Ralph was drinking non alcoholic mint juleps with Martin again and discussing flower arrangement.

Oscar was suggesting random things should have a female equivalent. Ie Mrs Comet as the Bart Comet's wife, Mrs Zorro and Mrs Who...

"No wait! No Mrs Who! Never ever!" Oscar was opposed to a female incarnation of the Doctor.

"Heeeeeey Buddy!" said Teddy, his living teddy bear creature.

"Huuuuuaaaaawwww! Teddy!" Oscar squealed and hugged Teddy.

"Now that Bart's inside and everyone is going nuts we shout go nuts too! We could dig to China... play jacks... or even get married!" Teddy is um truly disturbing...

Oscar grimaced concerned by Teddy's madness.

...

Meanwhile Serf Oscar is annoying Serf Bart by asking if he's seen Elfo from Disenchanted.

"No! I haven't seen Elfo! Stop trying to start a crossover!" Serf Bart groaned. Goblin Milhouse arrived.

"Hey Elfo." Oscar teased.

"Don't ask... He's nuts about Disenchanted again..." Serf Bart explained.

They decided to play goblin clobber with Milhouse and his clones.

"You do realise I'll run out of clones, sooner or later..." Goblin Milhouse explained.

"Just stand still..." Serf Bart sighed.

"Ahem. As Prince of Cannock I demand you attend my royal banquet. We're having Krusty Royales... with cheese..." said Oscar. A Krusty Royale was a type of burger.

"Uh I'm lactose intolerant..." said Milhouse as a goblin with seemingly endless clones.

"QUIET YOU!" Oscar as the Prince of Cannock yelled.

Bart sighed.

Elsewhere. The Serfsons referenced trending fantasy films or series. All we have right now is Cartoon The Hobbit and Cartoon The Lord of the Rings as Peter Jackson isn't famous yet.

"You go my lad! Hoho my lad!" The trolls in the cartoon version of the Hobbit sang.

"What about that R rated fantasy about the-" Homer asked. We don't have that yet!

Ned in the medieval times is a centaur. Mostly so we can see his chiselled six pack.

Oscar as a Serf had a nosebleed and fainted.

"Haw Haw! Gaaaaaay!" said Medieval Nelson.

Elsewhere Garfield felt whoever invented the day of Monday should be dragged to the chopping block and beheaded. Uh we don't have guns yet Garfield...

"Fine..." Garfield slept.

And Lord Burns has tiny wings.

Prince Oscar laughed at his tiny wings.

...

Meanwhile Bartholomew and Elizabeth are stirring a potion in a cauldron when a Dolph troll appears and his picking his nose. He has a long gooey booger stretching from his nose as he pulls it out.

"Ugh! Troll boogers..." Bartholomew groans.

Spryngfied Oscar winced and wet himself when he saw the Dolph troll pulling at a long gooey booger that was deep inside his nose.

Wiggum was a beaver again.

"Brusher brusher brusher! With the new Ipana..." He was advertising the beaver/gopher toothpaste!

Bartholomew winced.

"Ugh! Stop pulling me out of my house! I was playing poker!" Dolph Troll's booger yelled. Yes cartoon slime monsters play poker...

"Speaking of..." said Puritan times Oscar.

"No we are not going on a demented slime monster and diaper adventure..." Bartholomew winced.

We cut to a spooky forest outside of the small village of Spryngfeld.

Oscar is wearing just a diaper and leading Wizard Bartholomew and Elizabeth who is reading a maths book.

"Witch!" Bartholomew accused her of being a witch just for studying maths.

"Sssshhhh! King James was obsessed with hunting witches..." said Oscar.

"I'm just here to arrest Governor Ratcliffe for nearly starting a war with the Indians." said King James.

So they departed from the king and headed deeper into the spooky forest.

Then the trees grabbed them with long bony wooden branches with hands on the end as arms for the sentient trees.

Oscar screamed as he got grabbed.

"What the?!" Bartholomew asked.

Then a tree pinned Elizabeth to its trunk. Out of large knotholes oozed gooey tree sap. She gulped as her feet got stuck in the gooey sap. She tugged and tugged but was stuck.

Then the trees disrobed them and made them wear diapers...

Plot 2

In the present Bart is using the levitation charm on a bug because he's bored, however Lisa interrupts him.

"Flutter-feather."

"Bart! Montymort is attacking!" Lisa yells.

Bart grabs his spell book and runs down stairs.

The bug was still floating...

Mr Burns as Montymort is stomping around town as a dragon and breathing fire.

"Dragon fly, Butterfly!" Lisa casted a spell that turned him into a butterfly.

"Curses! Foiled again!" Montymort flies back to his evil castle.

"Was there any point me being here..." Bart sighed.

"Well, if Mr Burns decided on not being a dragon I don't know what I'd need to do to defeat him, that's the only spell I read ahead on." Lisa replied.

"And how would I be able to help?! I flunked wizard school just as I am flunking regular school..." said Bart.

However news arrived in the form of Principal Skinner that the Philosopher's bone had gone missing.

"Oh no! Now Montymort only needs the chamber pot of secrets and the prism of Jazzcabam!" Lisa groans.

They flew off on their brooms to retrieve it. Meanwhile Billy the wizard crashed into a building on his broom again.

"I'll take the eye of newt..." Billy groaned in concussion.

"Don't forget the Goblet of Cum!" Oscar added.

"Oz! We are not calling our spoof of The Goblet of Fire that!" Bart yelled.

Wizard Oscar pouted.

"And why are you wearing Pajamas?!" Bart asked.

"These are not pyjamas. They are cartoon wizard robes with crescents and stars on them in a royal blue!" said Oscar wearing cartoon wizard robes.

"Yeah right..." said Bart in his Springwarts robes.

...

And then Ned demanded we stop with the sinful Harry Potter spoof.

"Because Harry Potter went to Hell for practicing witchcraft." said Ned.

Homer was going through the mail. "Bill, Bill... Bill... Oh! Llib!" He asked excited.

"Homer that's a Bill... it's just upside down..." said Marge.

"D'oh!" Homer groaned.

"Oh! A college reunion! I remember my college years..." said Homer.

"Dad you only took one course and that was to become qualified to do your job..." said Hugo.

"Shut up freak!" Homer snapped.

Oscar threw a lamp at him.

"Ow! What the?!" Homer groaned.

"Anyway, remember my love affair with Ali MacGraw? She would call me preppie.. then she died..." said Homer.

"Homer you never had a love affair! And you never met a woman called Ali MacGraw! You just made that up!" said Oscar.

"Spoil sport..." Homer groaned.

Bart and Lisa arrived on their brooms. Bart was holding a large bone.

"Well we got the Philosopher's bone back from Montymort. Time to take it back to the school..." said Bart.

"Okay but hurry back... your father has a college reunion night!" said Marge.

"I told you! Enough of this devilry!" Ned yelled.

"Well tough! I like Harry Potter!" Oscar yelled. He flew off on his broom.

Springwarts, charms class.

Ace had a comic hidden inside his Charms grimoire so it looked like he was studying spells but he was actually reading a comic.

Bart arrived with the Philospher's Shin Bone.

"Excellent work Bart. For once you please me." said Skinner.

Wizard Bart rolled his eyes.

...

They all went to Homer's college. He went wearing a sink plunger stuck to his head.

Bart laughed.

"Shut up boy..." Homer grumbled annoyed.

Hugo was embarrassed.

Homer's dormitory he stayed in with Benjamin, Doug and Larry.

"Here's my old room." said Homer.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Stop the humanoid!" said Doug doing Zerk robot voices.

"Coooool!" Oscar laughed.

"We are the knights who saaaaaay... Ni! Ni! Ni! Hehehehe!" said Benjamin.

"No! Not the Knight's who say Ni!" Oscar cried in horror.

"No! No lame Monty Python!" Bart yelled.

"It's not lame! It's funny!" said Oscar annoyed.

They caught up and Doug explains he his working on a top secret Job he can't talk about. He adds it has something to do with cyborgs.

Larry explained he had invented a way that you download porn off the internet a million times faster.

"Why would you need to do that? How is that useful?!" Homer ranted.

"Hey! I'd find that very handy..." said Oscar.

"Eeeeeeeeeew! Everyone groaned.

Benjamin explained he had taken up theoretical physics. He also felt there should be a TV series about college nerds.

"Uh no... College should be more like Animal house with drunk jocks and pranks..." said Homer.

Marge seethed not approving.

"And this my bed. Doug says I have to have the lowest bunk because I cause the upper ones to sag and crush him or Benjamin or Larry." said Homer.

Bart laughed.

...

Then all the students and former students had to attend an assembly headed by and yes this is in canon! Professor Rocko, from Rocko's modern life and Chancellor Knuckles!

Rocko and Knuckles wearing mortarboards were on stage wearing black college robes.

Oscar screamed with laughter.

"Oz! Don't scream so loud! I get it! It's funny and I cannot tell you not to write that because it actually happened..." Bart groaned.

Professor Rocko stuttered.

"Shut up!" Knuckles yelled.

"Shadduuuuuuuup!" Rocko yelled.

"Shut up!"

"Shaddduuuuup!"

"Shut up!"

"Shaddduuuuuuup!"

A little boy came on stage. "Why don't you both shut up!"

The Simpsons winced.

Then the college tried to lock everyone in again and siphon their money, steal from them.

Oscat tossed a tear gas grenade and cut open the doors with a laser cutter in his wristwatch and everyone escaped.

"Noooooo! Our brandy money!" The college chancellor and professors cried.

"The Whifflesnops need new cummerbunds." A Who from Dr Seauss books cried.

The Simpsons after escaping with their cash intact suggested what to see at the college next.

"Now let's see who's having sex in the library." Homer suggested.

"No one. But Wyclef Jean said There's no sex in the champagne room!" said Oscar.

They meet the nice Dean Peterson outside on the grounds.

"Hey Homer, lovely to see you again." said Dean Peterson.

Homer blanked him.

"Yeah um... Dad's in one of his moods that college deans are strict stuffed shirts again..." said Lisa.

"Oh dear..." said Dean Peterson.

suddenly his mobile rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello Dean! You're a stupid head!" said Oscar's poorly disguised voice.

"Oscar is that you?" We can see Oscar at a pay phone.

Oscar screamed and ran off. There was a clunk from him dropping the phone.

Homer then got a bucket stuck on his head again.

"Oh dear..." said Marge when they got him home.

...

The Simpsons were dismayed by Homer's predicament. Except Bart who laughed.

"Bart! It's not that funny.,," said Marge.

"Marge... I want to watch TV... Boy! Drill some eye holes!" said Homer.

"Yes sir!" Bart yelled going to get the drill.

"No! No playing with the power tools!" Marge nagged.

They tried various things to get the bucket off. They tried greasing it.

"Mmmmmm! Homer stop licking it! It's no good! Every time I apply grease to the inside of the bucket, your father just licks it all up!" said Marge.

"Use a grease that doesn't taste so nice then!" said Homer.

"That's not possible!" said Marge.

Suddenly a black faith healer arrived.

"Wooooow!" He yelled like James Brown. "I am Brother Faith! Oh yeah! I am a faith healer!" He explained. "And I see you brother, have a bucket stuck on your head."

"Yes whoever that is... please get it off..." said Homer.

Brother faith tried pulling the bucket off. (Him grunting and pulling) But he couldn't, it was stuck on tighter than Mr Burns when the church collection plate came round.

"Oh my! Satan really jammed that thing on!" said Brother faith catching his breath. "I'm gonna need a holy helper! Someone who believes!" said Brother Faith.

"No..." said Lisa.

"Oksy someone who has the power! You, golden haired little boy!" Brother Faith said to Bart. "Put your hands upon your father's burdensome bucket!" Bart did so. Now proclaim, I have the power!"

"I have the power." Bart said normally.

"Louder son!"

"I have the power!'

"Shout it like you mean it boy!" said Brother Faith egging him on.

"I HAVE THE POWEEEEEEER!" Bart yelled dramatically and lightning struck him and he transformed into He-Man Bart. Clad in barbarian rags and holding the Power Sword.

"No narrator!" Everyone except Oscar yelled at the fourth wall exasperated.

Oscar laughed. "Hehehehe! He-man..."

Hugo rolled his eyes.

Then Bart suddenly in his usual clothes pulled the bucket off of Homer's head.

Everyone gasped.

"I see light!" said Homer. "Oh god! It burns! It buuuuuurns!" He screamed.

"Cooooool! He's a vampire!" said Oscar grinning.

"No he's not! Dad stop being silly!" Bart groaned.

"Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! This little boy performed a miracle!" said Brother Faith.

"Oh my!" said Cleatus who was there with a bad arm.

"It's amazing!" Marge gasped.

"It's something..." said Lisa sceptical and thinking there was scientific reason why Bart was able to pull the bucket off.

"It's raining men!" Oscar yelled giving a stupid response.

Hugo slapped him for being stupid.

"Ow!" Oscar whined.

Plot 3

"Okay sir, out with it! How did you really get that bucket off of my Dad's head?" Bart asked.

"Me? My dear boy! I didn't do anything! You did it all! With the power!" said Brother Faith.

Lisa and Hugo face palmed and covered their faces exasperated by the faith healer's religious spiel and nonsense he was spewing.

"Wow... you'd think god would think twice about giving someone like me, power..." said Bart.

"(Laughing) Sonny. When I was your age, my slingshot was my cross too!" He noticed Bart's slingshot in his pocket. "But then I turned to the good book and found faith in the Lord!" said Brother Faith.

"Oh lawdy... another Reverend trying to get me to pay attention in church..." Bart yawned rudely.

"(laughing). Son the lord isn't all about church... Oh actually it is... But it's also about healing! Jesus healed the sick! Now you can! You are the messiah!" said Brother Faith.

"Certainly not! Bart is not a messiah! He is a very naughty boy!" Marge snapped.

"Oh yeah! She said it!" Oscar cheered.

"Mom no! No flipping Monty Python!" Bart whined.

"Sorry dear." said Marge.

"Son please, why don't you try to help people! You're even covered in case of sudden death!" said Brother Faith.

"Sudden death ey..." thought Bart.

"That reminds me. There's a quiz show on TV!" said Homer. He went to the living room.

"Hey faith healer. Can you heal my arm? It's broken." said Cletus.

"Are you sure you don't want a WHITE doctor?!" Oscar snapped at Cletus.

"Oz I happen to find his daughter Mary cute..." Bart frowned.

"Ha! Bart loves Mary Spuckler!" Lisa laughed.

Bart sighed as she taunted him.

...

At school Bart was wearing white as a faith healer.

"What? How dare you wear white! I know what you do at night..." said Agnes Skinner. Hehehe! That rhymes!

Bart sighed and snapped his fingers. The bullies escorted her off somewhere.

"Oh! Unhand me you ill mannered brats!"

Bart called up his first patient.

"Who here needs healing?! You there Ralphie! What's wrong?" Bart called Ralph up on stage.

"I don't feel so good! And I'm rather sleepy!" said Ralph.

"I have the power! Praise the Lord!" Bart slapped his back.

Ralph barfed up coins and milk.

"My milk money! And my milk!" Ralph gasped.

"Eeeeeeewwwww!" Everyone groaned.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Bart cheered. "Moe how can I help?"

"My back hurts." said Moe.

"I have the poweeeeeerr!" Bart tried to heal him but turned into He-man Bart.

"Oz enough of the He-man jokes!" He-man Bart sighed.

Skeletor laughed. "Myehehehehe!"

"I'm gonna copy that laugh and the laughing flowers from Tombi and make a trending RPG." said Toby Fox.

"You do that and you're facing a lawsuit." said Blue Haired Lawyer.

Speaking of Cotton candy hair, Tombi was with his grandfather, who apparently is dead in canon.

Tombi saw some Koma pigs. He jabbered and tried to explain with charades to his Gramps that the Koma Pigs were up to no good again.

...

As recess ended. Lisa caught up with Bart.

"Bart. I hope you don't believe you're own hype..." said Lisa.

"Number of miracles performed by Bart, two. Number performed by Lisa... zero!" said Bart.

"Bart sure,y you don't believe this mumbo jumbo?! The lord didn't pull off that bucket... chemicals in Dad's sweat dissolved the glue. Specifically fear sweat..." said Lisa.

"Fear sweat?! Now who's talking mumbo jumbo?!" said Bart.

Mumbo Jumbo from Banjo Kazooie glanced over at Bart.

"Bart... I know we're from a Christian family but surely you don't believe that faith healing spiel?!" Lisa asked him.

"Sure? Why not? I fell in with and joined Scientology after all! Hey! Stop mentioning that Author!" Bart replied before telling the author off for bring up that Nancy is a Scientologist.

"Praise Xenu!" Oscar laughed.

Bart sighed.

Elsewhere, the remedial room.

"Say boyo! It would be a treat if you set fire to the Remedial room! Oh me Jesus! Top a da morning to ya!" said Ralph's leprechaun to Ralph.

"Ruff! Ruff! No don't do anything bad Ralph!" said Wiggle Puppy.

"Arrrrrrr! Don't ask me lad, I discovered America but let that Spaniard take all the credit!" said Lief Erickson. Ralph likes to pretend to be a Viking.

"Oz..." Ralph asked.

"Yeah..." Oscar was drawing his cartoons.

"Make Disney create Pete's Dragon 2!" said Ralph.

"Oh son of a biscuit! Ralph I don't own Disney! I have no authority over what films they create!" Oscar explained.

"I'm sad now..." Ralph whimpered.

Oscar sighed.

Warren was menacingly holding a closed pair of scissors like a dagger.

...

At Home Homer was going through a phase of talking like he was from Mississippi.

"Oh my! I feel like a doodlebug in Aunt Tillie's root cellar!" said Homer.

Hugo was licking up and eating doodlebugs/wood lice like a frog in the basement.

"Homer stop talking in that ridiculous accent!" Marge nagged.

Homer sulked. He thought about Gomer and Pyle saying Shazam again.

Back at school Oscar and Bart were horrified to find Snowball II was submitting photos of herself on Instagram wearing a slice of bread around her head. They gasped horrified.

Then the Old Long Johnson cat meme summoned a train that rushed down the locker hall at them.

"Old long Johnson..." said the cat meme. A train rushed down the hallway.

"Oz look out!" Bart screamed as the train conjured up by the power of memes rushed towards them. However Ben Tennyson as Ghostfreak grabbed them and went intangible. The train went through them because they were intangible.

"Old Long Johnson." said the cat summoning another train.

"Oh no you don't!" Oscar yelled. He summoned the I like trains boy from ASDFmovies.

"I like trains." said the stick man.

Another train headed towards the train. Ghostfreak made Oscar and Bart intangible again and the two trains collided and smashed to pieces.

"Old long Johnson!" The cat summoned another train.

"Thomas the Dank engine!" yelled Oscar using memes to summon Thomas the tank engine with loud ear splitting music and klaxons.

"Uh it's Thomas the tank engine..." said Bart.

"Not after the Internet nerds and edge lords on 4chan got ahold of it!" said Oscar.

Vector, the remedial kid obsessed with Thomas the tank engine grimaced exasperated.

Then Rick Astley music played.

"Ay carumba we're being Rick Rolled!" Bart yelled.

...

When they got Home Homer was making a flower float for the carnival that Bart was attending as a faith healer.

"Hey neighbourino." said Ned.

"Yes Ned..." Homer sighed.

"I noticed you picked all of Maude's flowers." said Ned.

"Ned em for my float. So many flowers sacrificed today..." said Homer eating a tulip. Mmmmmm! Secret shame...

"I see. But did you have to salt the Earth so nothing else will grow?!" Ned asked.

"Hehehe! Yeah..." said Homer. "Hi kids! How was sch- School..." he asked as the kids rushed in from school mad at something. "Hmmmmm... I'll ask them later."

Bart leading Lisa, Hugo and Oscar headed for Lisa's room. They stormed in there to find Snowball II asleep on Lisa's bed.

Snowball II yawned and mewed.

"Snowball! What is the meaning of this?!" Bart shows her Lisa's laptop with cat pictures of her wearing bread slices round her neck. "Why are you making memes!? Why are you putting pictures of yourself up on the internet with bread round your face!? Bad kitty! You are taking faith hilling and making it ridiculous! Bad! Bad kitty!"

Snowball II hissed at him.

"Bart get ready! You're the star attraction of the flotilla." said Homer.

Bart went to get changed. "Bad kitty! No memes!"

Lisa and Hugo winced. "Okay..."

Homer was checking on his ridiculous themed float. "Hmmmmm! I think Godzilla is a lot bigger than Superman..."

"Who cares? Your float design is ridiculous as usual..." Marge sighed.

The carnival soon began. Bart was stood front and centre of Homer's pink Godzilla fighting Superman float holding his newly painted skateboard in the air. It was now blue on the underside with a purple cross on it. Bart was dressed up like Evil Knievel.

"Oooooooh! Here comes Ron L Hubbard and Tom Cruise's Scientology themed float! Er what is Oscar doing on it?" Marge exclaimed.

"Praise Lord Xenu!" Oscar yelled on a carnival float dedicated to Scientology. "Unfortunately Bart couldn't be here today Father Hubbard because he is being a Christian heathen. So this Bart Doll is filling in for him."

"Oscar stop going on about my voice actor being a Scientologist!" Bart yelled from his float.

"Never! Get here now you heathen!" Oscar yelled.

Bart rolled his eyes.

...

Anyway Bart in canon loses faith in his faith healing way too soon just because it gets Milhouse run over and he can't heal Milhouse's leg. However in fanon divine powers are real and nothing, not even rushed story will stop that!

Everyone was at the Simpsons in a tent in their back yard that magically could fit half the entire town's population in quite comfortably. Holy moly! It's a TARDIS!

"No! The tent is not a TARDIS!" Bart whined as he went on stage.

Oscar sang the Doctor Who theme.

Bart sighed.

"Put your hands together for Brother Bart!" said Milhouse.

"Well he's my brother at least..." said Lisa.

Bart skateboarding arrived on stage from a stunt.

"Satan eat my shorts!" Bart yelled.

"Okay." said Satan at his bedroom window eating a pair of his shorts.

Bart winced exasperated.

Bart then sung testify! Testify! From Family Guy. Except it sounded better and actually sounded like an upbeat gospel song you'd hear at a faith healer performance.

"Narrator only the elders of the church shall heal..." said Ned. True and Jesus said not to go on about his healing hands to draw a crowd and healing spectacles you heathens!

"Well, tough. Faith healing is a thing in America along with people singing Amazing Grace badly." said Bart.

"Amaaaaaaaaazing Graaaaaace!" A black fellow fresh out of high school sung badly, probably because he was on the autism spectrum or something..."

"Narrator let me sing..." Bart groaned.

Bart sung Testify! Testify!

"I used to be a bad boy! What thou shall don't I thou shall did! I neutered the neighbour's cat!"

"Hey!" One of Bart's neighbours yelled angry at him for neutering his cat.

"Took a whiz on the school computer!" Bart sung. He peed on a computer...

"Thank goodness this medium is a story so I don't have to illustrate that..." said Oscar grossed out.

Plot 4

Ned and Lovejoy were so incensed by this blasphemy of Jesus, Paul and Elijah Wood's godly healing powers. Yes there is a guy in the bible called Elijah... And a Zebedee... hehehe! Zebedee... That they called an emergency Sunday that Sunday morning to warn people the sin of showing off/virtue signalling.

The Marquee read. "The evils of Faith healing. The Simpsons went reluctantly with Bart annoyed by Lovejoy's stance on faith healing.

"And this sayeth the lord Jesus Christ, only I may lay the healing hands upon you. Or Paul or Elijah..." said Tim Lovejoy.

"Praise Frodo!" Oscar yelled.

"Oscar stop yelling in church! Elijah in the bible is not Elijah Wood!" Lovejoy yelled. "Now where was I..." He was reading a boring sermon.

Bart decided to yawn rudely and loudly and snore.

"Does my sermon bore you Bart..." Lovejoy glared at him.

"Reverend, church doesn't have to be boring!" Bart got up wearing his white faith healing gear.

"Bart I'm trying my best with the material I have!" Lovejoy sighed. "And I'm trying to explain doing a miracle and showing off your gift to people in spectacles is frowned upon in the bible! Jesus said so! Thou shall not make a spectacle of my healing hands!"

"No really Reverend! Church can be a crazy party with clouds and lasers and miracles!" said Bart.

"Cooooool! Lasers!" said Hugo thinking about lasers as he played with Bart's laser pen.

"And Chilli fries!" said Bart.

"Mmmmmmmmmm! Chilli fries..." Oscar moaned and drooled.

"Fine! Why don't you form your own popular Lordy Lordy gospel church then?!" Lovejoy snapped.

"I will, that exterminator tent in our backyard will do!" said Bart.

"Nnnnnnngh!" Marge stopped Bart from walking out of the church and going home. "Reverend, Bart, I think we need to have a long talk..."

After church. The Lovejoys, Flanders and Marge with Bart held an emergency meeting about Bart's faith heeling.

"Bart you have turned over a new leaf and found a way to the lord through healing but I don't want you thinking you know better than the town Reverend!" said Marge. "On the other hand Tim. Please don't make Bart think what he is doing is wrong! He has become such an angel lately! He's getting good grades at school! Please just let his little faith healing church be..."

"Okay... there was healing miracles in the bible I suppose. Even if the son of the lord specifically asked people not to draw crowds asking Jesus to perform miracles every minute..." said Tim.

"Maybe because asking to see his powers every minute annoyed him... not because it was a sin..." said Bart.

"Yeah Jesus did some cool stuff! He even cured a lady who was constantly having periods!" said Oscar, "And he brought someone back from the dead!"

"Coooool!" said Bart drinking refreshments.

...

Meanwhile Cartman adapted Mr Kitty's bread in bread cat meme with the Taylor Swift is dangerous meme and scooching about on his butt like a dog with worms.

Mr Kitty meowed.

"No Mr Kitty! Be quiet!" Cartman yelled. He scooched about on his butt while Stan recorded yelling "Taylor Swift is dangerous! Taylor Swift is dangerous!" Apparently this was faith hilling, along with pulling on the front of your shirt to pretend you have boobs and dancing.

Oscar with a pained expression was scooching about on his butt.

"Oz what are you doing?" Cartman asked.

"Nnnnngh! I have worms again!" Oscar whined scooching about.

"Oz take your banana flavoured intestinal worm medicine..." Kyle sighed.

"Anyway where was I... Ah! Taylor Swift is-" said Cartman but Mr Kitty meowed.

"NO! THAT'S A BAD MR KITTY! BE QUIET!" Cartman yelled.

Mr Kitty hissed and spat at him.

"Meeeeeeeem! Mr Kitty's being a dildo again!" Cartman yelled.

"Cartman don't call your cat a dildo!" Kyle frowned.

"This is stupid..." said Stan.

"Stan Faith Hilling defines our generation..." said Cartman.

"I wish someone would hurry up and create a website where can upload videos of ourselves doing crazy stuff like Faith Hilling and memes..." said Butters.

"Shut up Butters." said Cartman.

"Come on, from the top Cartman."

"Taylor Swift is dangerous! Taylor swift is dangerous!" Cartman was combing memes.

"Dude that's stupid, everyone is Rick Rolling now..." said the sixth graders.

...

In the Simpsons backyard Bart was using the exterminator tent as a mini church again while Homer decorated the fence with clouds, Oscar decorated it with clowns because he was hard of hearing lately and thought Bart said clowns, not clouds. There were also smoke machines and lasers! Hugo was laughing maniacally and swinging the disco laser pointers about trying to burn things with the low powered lasers. "Fear my awesome lasers!"

"Quiet freak!" Homer yelled. Oscar threw a bucket of paint at him. "Hey!"

"Guys no fighting or no chilli fries..." said Marge making chilli fries.

The smoke effects apparently were made using bug poison. Because Ralph inhaled some and went funny and was curled up like a dying bug.

Milhouse winced.

Bart was getting ready in the bug exterminator tent when he heard James Brown singing. However it wasn't the late James Brown it was Brother Faith.

"Brother Faith!" said Bart.

"Golden haired boy! I am pleased with your work!" said Brother Faith.

Super Saiyan Goten smiled humbly.

"He was talking to me Goten..." Bart sighed.

Oscar holding a paintbrush still dripping with paint in one hand and wearing overalls, pointed a troll doll with sticking up yellow hair at Goten.

"That toy is extremely offensive to Saiyans!" Goten yelled and stormed off.

Bart winced.

They spoke about stuff. Probably Brother Faith encouraging him.

Meanwhile Dr Hibbert had several patients with funny injuries.

A cowboy drank a glass of water and it poured out of holes all over him.

A man had been stabbed with a swordfish through his heart. He was somehow still alive and standing comfortably.

"Ahehehehe!" Dr Hibbert chuckled.

Elsewhere Homer had a barbecue on. Because why not?

"Okay, who needs another lamb rack?" Homer asked. "Lisa? Ham hock? Tri-tip?" He offered Lisa meat. He recoiled in disgust because she's vegetarian.

"Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?" Lisa whined.

"Well, I think the veal might have died of loneliness." said Homer.

"Homer, she's vegetarian..." Oscar sighed.

Homer groaned. "Lisa I'm not barbecuing a carrot just for you..."

...