A new complication
Shane stood there, rooted to the ground, not knowing what to do or say. Finally she mumbled,
"Holly is dead? How?"
"Consumption, poor living conditions, malnourishment, wild living. All of the above." He sounded bitter. "She wanted an exciting life, adventure and fun. Apparently she got all that, plus a lot more she hadn't bargained for."
"Can I do anything for you, Oliver?" Shane offered even though she realised there was absolutely nothing she could do. All he needed now was time. She noticed his wedding ring was gone, but she wondered if he blamed himself for her untimely death.
"I didn't go after her, Shane. I could have, I could have made an effort, but I didn't. I actually think I was relieved when she left." He stopped brushing his horse and tears started to roll down his face. Shane went to him and grabbed him. She hugged him fiercely, protectively.
"You didn't abandon her, Oliver, she abandoned you. What were you going to do? Drag her back here against her will? She wasn't a child. She chose her path." He hugged her back and sobbed into her shoulder. She stroked his hair lovingly while he cried. It didn't matter to her what the townspeople would think if they saw an unmarried woman comforting a man, hiding in the confines of his own barn!
"Oliver, you mustn't blame yourself for her decisions. Did you beat her up? Was she unsafe with you? No! She chose to leave out of her own selfishness. Unfortunately, her foolishness caught up with her in the end. You're not responsible for how she chose to live and you're most definitly not responsible for how she died." Oliver stayed in her arms for a little while longer and then he stepped back.
"Yes, thank you, Miss McInerney." He turned away from her to continue brushing his horse. Shane got the distinct feeling she was just dismissed. He needed time to process this new development. He was now a widower and a free man. How was he going to proceed from here?
"Ok, you know where I am, Oliver, if you need me."
He nodded.
Shane left his barn with a heavy heart. She should have been jubilant. He was finally free! And he had kissed her for the first time. Well, they had done a little bit more than kissing, but was that also a result of his sorrow? The point was did he kiss her so passionately because he wanted her or because he wanted to forget Holly? Holly had been a ghost when she was alive. Was she going to turn into a nightmare now that she was dead?
Shane had heard many different opinions about Holly in town. Some people thought she was nice. Apparently the kids liked her. She was the school mistress before Andrea. But then Shane supposed that anybody compared to Andrea would seem nice.
Rita thought she was nice, just disinterested in anybody else. Hazel thought she was arrogant and she had no time for anybody but herself. Eleanor thought she was lonely, as she was never seen trying to make friends with any of the townspeople. Mrs. Capodiamonte thought she was a selfish woman who didn't show the smallest consideration to her husband, let alone anybody else. Norman thought she was scary. Ramon thought she was lost and in need of salvation. And of course Kimsickle thought of her as a loose woman, and in that he was completely right as she truly was.
What did Oliver think of her? Attractive was one of his descriptions for her. But a marriage cannot survive on physical attraction only and in this instance, it had proved to be sorely lacking in other more important aspects.
According to all accounts, they didn't seem to be a very happy couple. They were hardly ever seen together. She didn't go to church and refused to take part in the town's activities. One common theme about Holly was that she didn't care about anybody else other than herself.
What had possibly induced a man like Oliver to marry a woman like Holly? What he said to her this afternoon shed some light on it. "You're not Holly and I won't treat you like I did her." It was obvious now to Shane they had jumped into a physical relationship before marriage. Was that why Oliver married her? To correct a mistake? Shane had so many questions, but Oliver was in no position to answer them. Was he mourning her loss? Was he missing her? Surely not! That woman had taken his kind and compassionate heart and trampled roughshod over it. She fed him to the dogs and betrayed him with a most disgusting man. After all that, she left him to fend for himself, leaving him trapped in a contemptible marriage. No! Shane had no time for Holly. As far as she was concerned, she got what she deserved. She felt no mercy and thought good riddance.
Oliver had not intended for Miss McInerney to see him at his lowest. He wanted to seek her out, but he needed to get out of this foul mood first. Holly was like poison! She embittered his spirits even more now that she was dead. What was it he was feeling right now? Self pity for Holly's death? Guilt? He certainly wasn't mourning her loss. He lost her a long time ago. In fact, if he was brutally honest with himself, he never really had her.
Shane had surprised him when she came into his barn. He found himself unprepared to deal with the barrage of feelings that came crashing down on him. When she stepped into his barn and into his arms, he certainly hadn't planned to let his passion loose and almost lose complete control of himself. She was delicious though. He'd not be a real man if his body hadn't responded the way it did.
What he needed was a distraction to stop thinking about Holly's sad ending.
A distraction? How dare you classify Miss McInerney as a distraction? Oliver was disgusted with himself. Do you want a distraction? If you do, go to the saloon then. There are plenty of distractions there for you to choose from but don't you dare even look at that sweet woman as you did Holly, all lust and desire and nothing else. He berated himself most sternly.
Would the town condemn him if he made an immediate move to court Miss McInerney? How long a period of time was right to show the proper respect before he could start formally courting her? Did he want to wait any longer? Could he wait any longer?
"What do you think, Meshach?" The horse whinnied.
"Yes, I know. I agree. I think she is in love with me, too. I can only assume she is, considering the way she responded to my kisses." He stopped brushing and closed his eyes dreamily.
"But am I in love with her? I know I prefer her company to anyone else's." He sighed. The horse harrumphed.
"Yes, I know, you're right. Who am I kidding? Of course I am in love with her as well. There's no point in denying it. But can you blame me? She's so beautiful, Meshach. She's perfect." The horse whinnied again.
"Yep! That she does... she indeed drives me crazy with her hair-brained ideas, but I think I'll survive. I actually enjoy coming to her rescue. She's so clueless, poor thing." He laughed. Meshach gave him a sideways look.
"What about Dale? Why would you even mention her? She's my friend. She's like a sister to me." He carried on the slow brushing motion. It was calming both for him and the horse, but in this instance, more so for him.
"If I wanted Dale, I should have made my move 8 years ago. However, she was already in love with Jake then and he was my best friend. I went away to forget about her and I found Holly. I could say Holly was her fault and I never forgave her for that." He laughed self mockingly.
Then Meshach gave him a kiss, as Oliver was lovingly brushing his neck.
"I love you too, my boy, but Miss McInerney is pretty special, don't you think? Her kisses are way nicer than yours, buddy!"
The horse stomped his foot. Olive laughed.
"Now, now, don't be jealous." He patted the horse affectionately.
"I will never leave you, my faithful friend and I know you will never leave me either, as you're not fickle like a capricious woman." And he gave Meshach a kiss of his own. As he predicted, talking to his horse improved his mood tremendously.
The news that Holly O'Toole had died a pauper's death in a cheap Paris tenement spread through town like wildfire. Like Chinese whispers, the story was she had gone from being a top performer in an American circus in love with the owner; to escaping the circus and stowing away on a slave trade boat to Paris; to becoming a cancan dancer having multiple affairs; to finally dying alone, starving and riddled with diseases.
Oliver was appalled at how people's imaginations ran wild and completely out of control, conjuring up all kinds of cruel scenarios regarding Holly's death. He wished they would never mention Holly's name again, if not out of respect for her, then at least out of respect for him.
Shane was also wondering how those horrible rumours had started. Although she felt no compassion towards Holly, she was heartbroken for Oliver who had to endure such malicious gossip.
He isolated and secluded himself even more than the usual. She hadn't seen him for days. When she did see him in church, he disappeared as soon as the service was over. She was afraid of cornering him in his home or barn again and having a repeat of their passionate kiss. Her fear wasn't really about it happening again, it was whether she could resist him if it did. She didn't trust herself where Oliver O'Toole was concerned.
Every day that passed where she didn't see him, she felt like she was dying a little inside. He had become as essential to her as the very air she breathed.
Six long excruciating weeks passed and Oliver was going crazy. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had to see Shane. The nasty rumours about Holly had finally died down and people would soon forget her name; after all, it had been almost 3 years since she left the town.
On Saturday, he closed the post office as usual at 3 o'clock. He hitched Meshach to the wagon, stopped by Shane's door and knocked. Shane opened the door and gasped as she saw Oliver standing there, looking gorgeous with a beautiful smile on his face.
"Good afternoon Miss McInerney! It's a beautiful afternoon and I was wondering if you'd like to go on a ride with me." Shane's face went beet red. She had been polishing her wooden floor. She had her oldest skirt on. It was a horrible shade of faded green and it had holes in it. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she was absolutely certain she had floor polish smeared on her face. "Oh… Mr. O'Toole, I… how nice it is to see you. I… You… It… has been so long since I saw you last. Yes! I'd love to. Can you please wait 2 minutes while I change out of these clothes?"
"Yes, please take your time."
Shane ran upstairs in a panic. What a fright she must look like right now! Her heart was about to burst though… he had come for her and she was going on a ride with him!
In record time she was back, all cleaned up and looking beautiful. Oliver held her hand to help her up into the wagon. They rode out towards the lake.
It was indeed a beautiful, clear and warm mid-April afternoon. They were both nervous and silent as they drove along. Once they arrived at the lake, Oliver put the brakes on and got down to assist her.
"Thank you." She said as his hand lingered on hers a little longer than necessary. They started walking slowly towards the water's edge on the grassy shore.
"How are you, Mr. O'Toole?" She asked, wanting to get some conversation going and out of the awkward silence.
"I'm well, Miss McInerney and all the better for seeing you." He smiled at her. She blushed.
"I've missed you…" she started to say and then choked on her tears that came up, unbidden. He stopped, took her hand in his and kissed it.
"I've missed you too, so much… Shane." He was still holding her hand when he gently pulled her to him. She went straight into his arms and melted into them. After months of waiting, longing and uncertainty, her tears completely overcame her as she held on to him.
"Oh, Oliver, what took you so long?" He kissed the top of her head.
"I'm here now, Shane. There will be no more waiting." She looked up at him and he tenderly ran the back of his hand down her face. He wiped her tears and traced her jaw line with his thumb. He then touched her lower lip delicately with his fingers. It trembled underneath his touch. He tucked some loose hair strands behind her ear, and then he gently lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her softly. She opened up for him and he deepened the kiss. She was intoxicating! She was so pliable in his hands. He felt a tremendous need to protect her. Since the day he met her, he felt this deep calling regarding her. He wondered if this woman was the one the Lord had always intended for him and Holly had just been a case of his own flesh taking over and messing things up.
They walked the shore holding hands. They stopped and sat on a large log to throw pebbles in the water. They talked, they laughed, and they kissed some more.
As the temperature started to drop and the sun dipped behind the trees, they made their way back to the wagon and drove back to town. As they entered town, they met Hazel, who came bouncing towards them.
"Oh Shane, there's a man waiting for you at the inn. His name is Steve Marek."
