A/N: Hi Readers, I know I haven't updated for quite sometime, but I have spent my whole summer writing this chapter that should at least last a week long. I'm sorry for the delay but this is a wrap up chapter


"You mean to tell me that you and Jazmine were still seeing each other even after you gave her the cure?" Huey asked as James looked sad.

"Yeah, I was surprised that we were still interacting but it was for a good reason," James said.

"After all that you had put her through, why would she come back to you? I understand you gave her the cure but you took so much away from her. According to Ebony, after Nicholas was in your custody she was broken. It's as if she had seen a new Jazmine," Huey sternly questioned.

Huey wished Jazmine was here so he could ask her. He had so many questions that he wanted to ask her but he knew he wasn't going to get them since she is dead. Settling for James was the closest he was going to get to what Jazmine was going through. There might have been stuff that Ebony and Nicole didn't know but James did.

James always seemed as if he knew a lot more about Jazmine than anyone had expected. Huey felt that James got to see a side of Jazmine that nobody ever imagined.

"Then on top of that, Jazmine was having such a hard time being a mother to Huelene since she was depressed," Huey added.

"Freeman, you got it all wrong!" James denied.

"What do you mean I got it all wrong? Ebony told me that Jazmine wasn't doing good as a mother because she was always sad and didn't want to deal with anybody," Huey argued.

"That is not TRUE!" James exclaimed as he felt his blood boil. He pinched the bridge of his nose while sighing and just shook his head.

"You do understand that my and Ebony's perspective of Jazmine is different right?" James pointed.

"Have you not caught on to that by now? Ebony says she was a terrible mother, she was broken after Nicholas was taken away from her, she had a hard time trying to be herself; that is all bullshit!" James exclaimed mimicking Huey.

"You guys don't know the other side of Jazmine. I will admit after she had given birth she became a little depressed but all mothers go through that. They acted as if it was the end of the world when she decided to disconnect from everybody for a little bit. But they wouldn't know how it feels because they never got the full experience of being pregnant and being sad after the baby got here," James fussed.

"I'll tell you how Jazmine was as a mother!" James sternly spoke.


After Jazmine had given me Nicholas, I was so happy that he was finally in my custody. It was to the point I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't go out to the bar and celebrate since I had the baby. And for some odd reason, I wasn't attracted to going to the bar anymore or staying out late. I wanted to quit drinking just so there wouldn't be any accidents.

One of the first things I did with Nicholas was hold him for a very long time. Then I eventually started to take a bunch of pictures of him. He was a very cute baby and he looked exactly like me when I was a baby. I wouldn't have minded if he came out looking like Jazmine but I was happy that he looked exactly like me.

I was wondering if he had endured some of my behavior as an infant too. Of course, I don't remember as much of how I act. My parents never took care of me since they were busy with work so I was always left at home with the nannies. I don't remember much of them since they always switched them out frequently. There were a couple who I couldn't understand since they came from a foreign country.

Now that I think about it, I'm starting to question why my parents would leave me with a bunch of strangers. I could have possibly been kidnapped or worse murdered! I had no intention of getting that many nannies to watch Nicholas. If I ever do hire a nanny, I want to interview them first and get to know them so I can keep them for the long term.

I'll have to start that when I go to Missouri. Since I'm not going to be in West Virginia for long, I might as well not waste my time trying to find a nanny. I don't trust that many people around here.

Since I'm going to be a single dad, I'm going to sign up for these Mommy and Me classes. I know it's embarrassing only for me to go in there by myself, but I still need help being a parent. I know how to take care of a baby, but I need to know how to take care of my baby.

If I can spend the next couple of days gathering information on Nicholas then I can work him like a clock. His naps, feeding, bath, play, and bedtimes will all be in line. I'm not going to be working for a while because I want to spend time getting to know my kid. I wonder if it's bad in the long run to get attached to your child, or would it be a good thing?

I know at some point in Nicholas's life, I'm going to have to let go, but that's not going to be until another 5 years for now. I have enough money to settle down and be a dad. I found that what most parents struggle with is being present for their children. They have to worry about paying bills, providing food on the table, and supporting their kid's dreams. I can do that without a struggle.

...

After almost two months had gone by with me taking care of Nicholas it was like hell for me! All he did was cry his eyes out and I didn't know what to do. Like at some point, I wanted to kill myself, not literally!

I have to say I give full respect to all mothers who raise their children. It's not easy, but they make it look easy. If Jazmine were here with me I wouldn't want to put her in the situation where she has to take care of the babies 24/7. I know a lot of new fathers say that but I don't think a lot of them follow through with their words.

I would hate for Jazmine to be feeling like this if she was here.

Wait...I can't be thinking about Jazmine. She left to go enjoy her life with Ebony, Nicole, and Huelene. She should be doing well now right? Two weeks have already gone by so the cure should have settled in her body by now.

Right!

I don't know why I'm getting a bad feeling about this.

I shouldn't be thinking about Jazmine. She's out living her life and she's healthy! But I miss her so much and wish she was here with me and Nicholas.

I was at my penthouse outside on the patio with William who was sitting across from me. He took off work today to come to check up on me and Nicholas. I thought he was coming to see if I had failed but he came to help.

He brought all types of gifts for Nicholas along with food and milk. Which I gladly took because I don't have as many sources to get it fromWilliam I don't want to use formula milk yet because it's not good for the baby. Women are supposed to clear diseases out of the substance so it can be safe for the baby to drink.

I was holding rocking a sleeping Nicholas in his carrier since he kept crying every time there wasn't movement. I even had to drive him around the block a couple of times just to get him to go to sleep.

This was harder and more complicated than I expected.

"So, how are you holding up?" William asked laughing at me a little.

I tiredly looked at him and gave him the fuck off look.

"I'll take that as a no, judging by the look of your face," he said pointing at me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I slowly asked.

"Your eyebags!" he said pointing at his eyebags to reference mine. I looked at the glass that was showing my reflection to see that I indeed did have baggy eyes.

"Oh shit!" I sighed. I didn't expect it to get this bad. William had started to laugh at me silently as he was enjoying seeing me suffer. I wanted to get mad and say something but I was too tired to do so. Was it even worth yelling at William in front of Nicholas who was going to start crying if he heard any loud noises?

Probably not!

"I told you not to do it," he said getting cocky. I glared at William because at this point it felt like he was disrespecting me.

"You know, you can leave if all you're going to do is be Negative Nancy about it," I offered.

William started to straighten himself up and wiped that smirk off his face.

"My apologies James, but I did warn you what you were getting yourself into," William pointed out.

"I know, I know...this is just new for me" I sighed.

"Yeah, well how are you holding up?" William once again.

Why the fuck was he asking me that question, again?

"I'm struggling with my newborn son and I'm trying to get the hang of being a dad," I said as William rolled his eyes.

"Not that, I'm talking about you know who," he said referring to Jazmine.

"Oh, you mean her?" I asked as he nodded.

Oh, Jazmine, I missed her so much, but I couldn't let William know that. He would scold me for still being in love with Jazmine.

"I'm trying to cope with it," I simply answered.

"And...how's that working out for you?" William asked awaiting an answer.

Should I lie to him?

No, he would catch on to it.

"I'm not going to sit here and lie and say I'm doing better," I truthfully spoke.

"The truth is that I miss her and I wish she never left," I admitted.

Wow...that was the first time I ever said that aloud. I looked at William to try to see how he was feeling about all of this. He seemed as if he was unfazed in the slightest but it didn't look as if he was judging me.

"I'm guessing you gave her the cure?" he asked as I nodded my head. I looked at Nicholas while still rocking him to see that he was sleeping peacefully. The more I looked at him the more I started to see Jazmine. He didn't fully look like her but he somewhat had her complexion.

He for sure had her light green eyes which were a unique feature of her. Every time I looked at them it always reminded me of her. I sometimes wish I could call and check up on her but I couldn't. Since she had the babies, Ebony and Nicole were probably watching her and Huelene just to make sure they were safe.

I wouldn't blame them if they were doing that. I would do the same. But it made it harder to get into contact with Jazmine which might have been a good thing. I don't think I needed to get into contact with Jazmine because it would make me look as if I was obsessed with her. Judging based on what happened the last time, I definitely could not let history repeat itself.

The reason why I'm here now is that I was stalking Jazmine. That lead me to lose my job and my sanity. It felt as if I couldn't recognize myself anymore.

I was glad I was on good terms with her temporarily, but look where that lead us to. We're once again not talking to each other and going about our lives as if nothing happened.

I know she might be affected by me taking away Nicholas but Jazmine knows how much I wanted to have a child of my own. I thought about adoption but it wouldn't be the same. I don't want to fail a child simply because I couldn't love them as my own. For them to have that hatred towards me will not help me sleep at night. Those types of thoughts would be on my conscious which is something I do not want.

I never want to fail a child!

I don't know how Ebony, Nicole, and other couples could do it. I have to give them props for at least trying to get a child a better lifestyle and let them experience what it feels like to have a family. I remember whenever there was a teenager or young lady who was under the intended of not keeping the child, the couple would always be waiting for the newborn outside of the room.

Happy and hope that it made it out safely. But as soon as the mothers of the children were able to hold their babies, their decisions would change right on the spot. They would want to keep their children and go home happy while the couples would go home disappointed.

I almost felt bad for them for a second, but before they go through with the process they're warned about the money they're spending. Which is a lot!

I thought about having a surrogate at one point but I didn't want to waste my money. I thought my sperm wouldn't work since it was a low chance for the woman to get pregnant. The idea was abandoned and I just never thought aloud ever again.

I keep my intrusive thoughts to myself...half the time that's what gets me into all of this mess!

"You did the right thing, James," William said as I almost started to tear up.

"You let her go! I know how hard that was for you since you were in love with her, but you finally let her go and now you're free from being stressed out," William proudly spoke.

I was still stressed because I was taking care of Nicholas, but it felt worst than the last time when she left.

The only difference is that I was obsessed with her the last time and it was torturing to not be around her. This time I was in love with her and it broke my heart when she left. She looked back but she kept moving forward.

"William...it hurts!" I said feeling my voice crack.

I didn't want to start crying in front of him so I held my breath and slightly bit my tongue to calm myself down.

"I know," he softly spoke.

I started to rapidly breathe hard and the tears started to come down.

"I don't know how to go about this," I said confused about my next step.

I knew I was going to move to Missouri and take Nicholas with me, but what was going to be my next step when I moved? I didn't think any of this straight and I was at a loss for images.

"Sure you do, you're going to move to Missouri with Nicholas and you're going to start over, again," he said.

"Okay, then what? What am I going to do while I'm in Missouri? I love Nicholas but I can't smother him 24/7. At some point in his life I'm going to have to back off to give him space," I exclaimed.

"Yeah, but that's not for another 5 to 10 years. Parents should start backing off when they go through puberty," William responded.

"Yeah but then what? I love saving people but I don't know if I want to keep working for someone my whole life. I want to enjoy it and spend time with Nicholas and be involved in his life. My parents never took time out of their schedules to come to support me in any of my interests unless it had to do with being a doctor. William I don't want that for Nicholas, I want him to have a different childhood apart from mine," I exclaimed once again.

"And you can do that...you have the money to open up your practice and invest in other nurses and doctors," he said as an idea popped into my head.

He's right! I do have the money to invest in other nurses and doctors. I could open up my practice and teach nurses and doctors how to do things the right way. And they can earn higher pay than what they could get from a high school diploma.

I never showed any type of respect towards nurses because they never wanted to strive to be something greater. What if I can offer them that chance to be greater? I understand from looking at Jazmine that some people don't have the money to go to college or they don't want to be stuck in so much debt.

I can prevent that from happening if I just open up my practice. With payment, they can pay a small fee as if they are going to community college and they won't have to be stuck in so much debt.

"You're right!" I said smiling.

"That'll be my plan that awaits the future," I said smiling.

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, but you have to keep it in mind of yourself. Nicholas is going to be able to find his interest in life but what about you?" William pointed out.

"What do you what about me?" I asked confused.

"Your interest in life! I have never seen you take on an appropriate hobby other than drinking and having sex with other women. You can't do that as much as you want to since you have Nicholas. It's not safe to be drinking around your kid and it's also not appropriate to be introducing your kid to your lady friend that is not their mother," William said calling me out.

"What if I just do it behind his back?" I asked as he shook his head.

"That won't be acceptable...it needs to be an appropriate hobby such as baseball," he said as I looked at him funny.

"William, I don't like sports," I informed.

I know it's shocking but I don't like sports. My friends in high school always tried to get me involved in a sport and I just never found interest in it. I've been told by the coaches that I was good at the sports we played during PE, but I just never had the passion to look into it.

Football you get hit by those dumb jackasses!

Baseball gets you dirty, easily!

Soccer, you could get kicked in the balls!

In Lacrosse, I never saw the point in running with a ball and a stick. It's like juggling but with a stick.

Basketball, I never wanted someone to shove their balls into my face or even jump over me.

Tennis was too much running around and you also made those unintentionally weird noses.

Wrestling was just gay!

Golf didn't make any sense to me especially when you can't see the hole.

In gymnastics, I couldn't tumble or do a simple cartwheel.

Dance and cheer go without saying!

Volleyball, I didn't want to get smacked in the face.

Swimming, I can swim, but I never liked getting in the pool. It's just not in my interest. Now that I think about it, if I don't like swimming then why do I have a pool at my penthouse and new house in Missouri? If I'm not going to swim in it then what's the point in having it?

Although, I do like to sit out on my patio and just look at the view of the pool.

Track in Field events was too long! I did one event and that was cross country, but as soon as I had to be out there all day waiting for everybody to get done with their events, I was done with cross country. I was staying at practice for 2-4 hours and then on top of that the events were all day and that wasn't okay with me.

My parents didn't care that I quit it because they thought it was getting in the way of my studies. My coaches were disappointed in me for quitting especially when I had good times. They just nicknamed me "Wasted Potential" and would side-eye me in the hallways.

I didn't care since I didn't want to suffer outside all day. I'm still confused about how people find glory in being out all day.

"You might not like sports but what if Nicholas likes them, and he wants you to participate in the sport with him?" William pointed out.

Oh shit, I never thought of it like that. How will I react when I find he wants to do physical activity for school?

"If he is my son, he's not going to like sports," I exclaimed.d

"Yeah, but you have to remember, he's also Jazmine's son, and Jazmine seems like the type to be involved with her school," William reminded me as I sighed.

"If I were you, I would start looking into some hobbies, not just for Nicholas, but also you. You seem not to have that many hobbies," William highly suggested.

"Jazmine left so she's not your hobby anymore. You set her free and that's a good thing! If you love someone you'll set them free, and if they return it was meant to be!" William stated the saying.

He's right, I did need to start looking into some hobbies. Jazmine wasn't going to be coming back any time soon and it was time for me to start becoming my person.

When William left that night to head back home, I went to go put Nicholas back into his crib. He finally was sleeping without needing consistent movement. As I watched him peacefully sleep, I couldn't help but notice how much of a blended version he was of Jazmine and me. He looked exactly like me, but some of Jazmine's features were coming in on him.

I looked at the color of his hair to see that it somewhat matched my color but with a few highlights of blond. Jazmine's hair was strawberry blond. Nicholas didn't have any traces of blond in his hair. When I found out he was mine, I guessed that he would have dirty blond hair. My guesses have come to be wrong.

Nicholas was leaning toward being a dirty blond. I don't know how that happened but I was guessing it was because of Jazmine's side of the family. Not Tom's but Sarah's.

From what I've seen, Sarah's side of the family all have different colored hair. It's mainly the common colors of Europeans. But if they're with someone who is not the same race as them or doesn't possess the gene then their child is most likely gonna have different colored hair, like Jazmine.

So, I shouldn't be surprised that Nicholas will also have a unique hair color. I thought he would have the same eye color as me but he instead got Jazmine's beautiful green eyes.

I started to think deeply about Jazmine until I had to stop myself. Jazmine was long gone and I needed to stop thinking about her and focus on myself. I left Nicholas's nursery so I could get my mind off of Jazmine.

I needed to stay clear of that and thinking about her green eyes was not helping me.

I was about to head into my room when I heard knocking at my door. I heavily sighed because I did not feel like walking downstairs. I was tired and ready to go to bed.

I was even going to skip my bed routine, again!

The knocking continued and I decided to rush downstairs before they woke up Nicholas. I assumed it had to be William since he most likely forgot something. He always forgets something whenever he goes anywhere.

I finally made it downstairs in front of my door. I started to rub my face because I didn't want William to know that I was irritated for him to be coming back at this time of night. He knows how much I've been struggling with Nicholas. I've barely been able to sleep through the night with him crying every 2 to 4 hours.

He could just come back tomorrow morning to get whatever he needs, but this could be important for him to be showing up an hour later after he left.

"Let's just get this over with!" I mumbled before I opened the door to be met with...Jazmine!

What was she doing here?

I looked her up and down to see that she had been crying and she was breathing hard. I looked in her hands to see that she was holding Huelene who seemed to be in distress. I automatically started to worry for her because something possibly could be wrong.

"Jazmine!" I exclaimed.

"James...I need your...help," she said trying to catch her breath.

"Sure, come in!" I said moving to the side so she could come in.

"What seems to be the problem?" I asked as she was trying to contain her tears.

"Huelene is having a hard time breathing and I don't know what to do. I don't want to put any substances on her that might harm her. And my first instinct was to go to the hospital or call Ebony and Nicole but something brought me here and I need your help," she pleaded as tears were pouring down her face.

"Okay, okay, just calm down," I said as she was trying to take a deep breath.

"Come with me to the bathroom and I'll try to figure out what we can do," I said as she nodded.

I started to head towards my bathroom with Jazmine following me. We went upstairs and into my room which had a bathroom in it.

I immediately turned on my shower to a hot temperature and waited for it to steam. When Jazmine came in I closed the door behind her so the steam could be trapped within the bathroom.

In most cases like this, all the baby needs is moisture in the air. Even if it's an asthma attack she just needs to breathe in moisture.

As my bathroom started to steam up I looked at Jazmine who still had Huelene in her carrier. I sat down on the edge of the tub where the steam was most likely at.

I instructed Jazmine to give me Huelene whom she started to take out of the carrier.

"Give her to me," I said having my hands out. Jazmine looked hesitant until she gave me Huelene. I started to observe Huelene and make sure she was breathing properly. I held my finger over her nose to see if she was breathing through there.

I didn't feel any air coming out of her nostrils. I knew right then and there that she had a stuffy nose.

I looked up at Jazmine: "Do you have her bulb syringe on you?" I asked her.

"No..." she said before crying once again. She looked completely helpless and as if she didn't know what to do. One of the things you should always have with you as a first-time parent is a bulb syringe.

She mostly likely forgot it at the house.

"Go to Nicholas Nursery and look to your right when you first go in. You'll find the bulb syringe there. Keep in mind that it's blue," I said as she nodded.

Jazmine quickly left the bathroom to go find the bulb syringe. I stayed holding Huelene who was still having a hard time breathing.

I propped her up a bit so she could breathe a little better. Huelene was able to take in the steam so it could clear up her nose.

While she was trying to breathe properly I couldn't help but take in her look. She wasn't black like Huey nor white like Jazmine.

Huelene was in between the two shades. She looked to be light-skinned. You could tell she was because she was black but in a lighter tone.

To add to it was also her hair. She had the same hair texture as Jazmine along with the same colored eyes. If she and Nicholas were to grow up together you could tell they're siblings due to their eyes.

Their other features don't have anything in common. Except for their hair texture. Huelene's looks exactly like Jazmine's texture but not much of Nicholas's. He has texture but not the type you think it is.

When it starts to grow it's most likely gonna be wavy rather than curly.

Honestly, the twins didn't look anything alike. Huelene looked more like Huey but had Jazmine's a little bit of Jazmine's complexion.

As for Nicholas, he looked exactly like me, no questions asked. He didn't have any complexion, unlike Huelene. Nicholas didn't even look as if he had any type of black in him.

It only looked as if he took Jazmine's European part instead of her other side.

Huelene was Huey's child giving her a look.

Normally a situation where I'm holding another man's child and I don't necessarily like the father has never happened to me. At one point I thought if Huey had any kids with Jazmine I would grow to hate them, but I didn't, surprisingly.

I hated Huey but I didn't feel any of that hate towards Huelene. She never did anything for me to hate her. I could say she was born but she didn't ask to be here just like the rest of us.

I couldn't hate an innocent child who had done nothing to me. I don't know if it was because I was with Jazmine while she was in the womb or if I just got attached.

All I know is when I looked at her I instantly fell in love with the child. Kind of a repeat when Nicholas came to the house and I got to hold him for the first time.

This was my first time holding Huelene so it felt different!

I saw Huey but I didn't feel any type of hatred for it.

I checked Huelene's nose once again to feel that she was breathing a little bit better. Her nose was still stuffy but hopefully, Jazmine can get back with the bulb syringe.

Now that I think about it she was taking longer than expected. I was about to get up to go check on her but then she rushed back into the bathroom with the blue bulb syringe.

"I found it!" she said in relief.

She handed the bulb syringe to me and I started to squeeze it before putting it into Huelene's nose.

I gently stuck it into one of Huelene's nostrils. Then I started to suck up the mucus that was starting to loosen up.

"Jazz can you get me a paper towel?" I requested as she went to retrieve two papers on the roll.

She folded it up and held it out for me. I pulled the bulb syringe out of Huelene's nose and squirted the mucus on the paper towel.

I repeatedly kept doing that until she started to breathe properly. I held my finger in my nose to see if her nostrils were clear and I can feel the air she was breathing out.

I rubbed my hands through her hair curly in relief that she was feeling better. I looked over at Jazmine to see that she was relieved that she was okay.

I wanted to scold Jazmine but it wasn't the right time. I know she was scared because Huelene's life was at stake, but this was something common that everybody should know.

I knew she was a first-time parent, but she's also a nurse who has worked with both adults and children. In the last couple of months, she has specifically been working with kids. So I'm confused how she didn't know how to handle a situation like that.

I've worked with a fair share of children over the years and I know what to do in certain situations, such as this one. I have these common items that every parent should have when they welcome a newborn. Jazmine got up to go throw away the paper towels that had mucus on them and then she came and sat right next to me.

She kept looking at Huelene who was finally able to breathe properly. Jazmine laid her head on my shoulder as she continued to stare at Huelene.

"Thank you, James!" she softly spoke making my heart melt. This felt genuine coming from Jazmine who was vulnerable at the moment.

"You're welcome!" I said still rubbing Huelene. I held her close to me while still supporting her head.

"So, how have you been for the past two months?" I asked her as she sighed.

"It has been hard...I'm having trouble adjusting to being a mom," she truthfully spoke. She looked as if she was on the verge of tears but she kept them in.

"Ebony and Nicole want me to be more involved and I'm trying but I didn't expect it to be this hard. Every time something happens to her I get clueless on the spot. Such as this type of situation! Normally, I have answers to everything and I know what to do, but with her I'm clueless. I don't want to do something wrong and possibly hurt her," she said, frustrated.

"Where are Ebony and Nicole at?" I asked.

If they're the people trying to raise Huelene then where are they at? Shouldn't they be present at a time like this? I can see if six months went by and they decided to take a break but only two months have passed.

"They're out on a date tonight. I thought about calling but I didn't want to interrupt anything," she answered.

"We've all been taking care of Huelene, but at times we do need a break from motherly duties," Jazmine explained.

"I see...have you gone back to work?" I asked as she shook her head.

"The school year is about to end and the principal thought I should just stay at home," Jazmine said.

"Did she fire you?" I asked as she shook her head once again.

"She didn't fire me, she just told me there was no point in coming back to work when there was only one week of school left," Jazmine said.

Makes sense.

I wouldn't want to go back to work if I only had one more week.

"That makes sense," I said.

"Yeah, but enough about me, how have you been doing with Nicholas?" she asked.

"I'm not gonna sugar-code anything; I'm trying to get into the process of learning his routine, and so far it's not going as planned," I sighed. I was tired and my eyes were hurting like hell.

"Oh my God, you have to tell me what happened," she said eagerly.

Wow, she wants to hear about my struggles as a dad. I guess this is a time for us to bond.

"I thought if I didn't feed Nicholas as much he wouldn't throw up on me, but every time I feed him a little bit of milk he throws up a lot. He even threw up on my favorite shirt!" I said as she started to giggle.

"Huelene did the same thing to me. She threw up all over my hair and it was smelly for almost a week. I had to keep washing it to get all the scent out. This explains why my hair is tied up," she said pointing at her tied hair.

"Nicholas can't go to sleep without being moved around for at least an hour," I said as she smirked.

"Huelene likes to sing herself to sleep! Sometimes I think she's crying at night when I hear her on the monitor, but she's just humming herself back to sleep," Jazmine exclaimed.

"Due to having skin contact with Nicholas and being exhausted from it, I haven't showered in two weeks," I said holding up two fingers.

"Three!" Jazmine sternly said staring me down.

"You are quite competitive DuBois," I said emphasizing her last name.

"Not competitive, just going through what every parent goes through," she said as I smiled.

"You know, it's not going to get easier along the way, right?" I asked.

"I know...I'm just hoping I get better," she said.

"I'm pretty sure you will, it just takes time. You're a first-time parent and one of the main things that is going to happen is struggle. I can take care of any kind, but my kid, I have to learn their ways, which is the hard part," I assured.

Temporarily taking anybody's kid is not as hard on their part as it is for the parents.

As a parent, you have to know your child's ways of life. And to achieve this you have to observe and listen to what they say or do. It might be difficult but it'll be worth it in the end.

"You're right," she softly spoke as she once again laid her head on my shoulder once again.

I enjoyed these types of moments with Jazmine. Talking and connecting on our issues. I remember back in Washington, she sometimes use to come over to just talk and hang out with me. No sexual interference would ever happen, which might shock some of you, even myself for that matter.

I knew when Jazmine and I were connecting on a different level with each other without being naked and in my bed, that's when I knew we were emotionally involved. The affair didn't just become about lust. There were feelings exchanged in the process along with trust.

We would talk about our childhood, how we were as teenagers, past relationships, events that went on, our dates, people from work, and so on. The point is I felt comfortable talking to Jazmine about all of these things.

I never was able to vent to anybody but William. He's my best friend but even I don't like to share everything with him. Such as my struggles with Nicholas.

When he told me he was coming over to my penthouse to check on Nicholas and me, I wanted to make it seem as if I had everything together. I couldn't pull that off even if I tried. The look showed on my face and it was embarrassing. He was able to see as clearly as day that I was struggling.

Then he pulled out the famous line: 'I told you so!'

I wanted to jump across from where I was to punch him. He made me very upset when he said such a thing. It was obvious William was preying on my downfall. He didn't want me to have Nicholas in the first place and he was trying to rub it in my face why it wasn't a good idea.

I knew it seemed like an impulsive decision to take custody of Nicholas. I will admit it was in some aspects, but not all. Everybody acts so surprised when they come to find out I want a child. They think I decided to not have kids due to my age.

I always wanted them but could never produce them. It's rare in cases like this to have a baby.

I sometimes wonder if it was only my sperm to get to one of Jazmine's eggs, would it have survived? Or could it be due to Huey's sperm making an opening for me?

Will never know, but whatever the case might be I'm grateful because I have Nicholas and Jazmine has Huelene. She started to fall asleep in my arms as I held her tight for comfort.

I know it was my first time with Huelene, but I was enjoying every second of it with her. It felt as if she was my own for a second. The moment I was having with her and Jazmine made it look as if we were a real family. This felt right!

A couple of more minutes had gone by before Jazmine had rose her head up. We stared at each for I don't know how long. All I knew is that I was getting sucked back into those beautiful green eyes again. At first, they use to be lustful, but this time they were filled with love. I looked directly at her soft lips I missed connecting with.

I couldn't help but lean in for a peck on the lips! She started to blush as she looked taken back. I wanted to smirk but I didn't want to seem too cocky.

All I said was: "I missed you!"

She looked to be speechless...I think she wanted to say something but couldn't push the words out. All she did was lean in for a kiss instead of a peck. She gently wrapped her hands around my neck as she was trying to be careful to not disturb Huelene.

I miss this feeling of love! Those warm, soft lips, beautiful green eyes, feisty personality, and soft skin.

She parted from our kiss and then said: "I missed you too!"

I couldn't help but smile at how she admitted that. I leaned in for another passionate kiss between the two of us until I heard a knock at my door.

I know you're curious as to how I could hear from my bathroom. When you have sensitive hearing and you can sense when there is noise about to be made, you make sure to get rid of the problem before it can even start.

I parted from Jazmine and I's kiss and said: "I have to go answer the door!"

I started to get up off the tub with Huelene still in my hands. Jazmine looked confused at what I was doing and said: " I didn't hear no one at the door."

"Just excuse me for a second," I said leaving the bathroom as I made my way to my door. I looked at my clock to see it was almost 10 o'clock. Who can be here at this time of night?

When I answered the door I was met with William who was out of breath.

"William, what the fuck are you doing here?" I asked, bothered.

"Sorry, James, I had to come back to get the badge I left outside on your patio," he said.

I wasn't surprised.

As I said before, William is always forgetting something whenever he goes anywhere.

And I mean anywhere!

"You can come in," I said moving out of the way.

William looked at me funny as he came into the house.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He looked down at Huelene oddly.

"Since when did your baby turn black?" William asked getting straight to the point.

"Umm..." I hummed until Jazmine came downstairs, "James is everything alright?"

William immediately looked at Jazmine and then looked back at me in disappointment.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Dr. Charles!" Jazmine said a bit surprised.

"Ms. DuBois," William said back to her.

"What an odd way of seeing you here tonight," she said. William looked at me as if he was trying to blow my head up. He wanted to give me the death glare but not in front of Jazmine.

"Yes, it is! I just came by to drop off gifts and talk to James about the good old days, but I have work tomorrow and I forgot my badge," he said making me sound old.

"Oh okay, well it was nice seeing you," she said before he waved off to go get his badge.

I looked at Jazmine hoping she wouldn't be mad at me about William. He was part of it but not as much. William wanted to stay out of most of the drama that went on between Jazmine and me. I don't blame him because if I were in his shoes I would do the same thing.

I noticed Jazmine looking at one of the clocks that were hanging on the wall. She heavily sighed: "I should get going before Ebony and Nicole return home."

I looked at the clock to see it was almost about to be 10:05 PM. She should start heading back home. I don't want her to get in trouble for being in this part of town with me. It wasn't dangerous but it just had me in it.

"Yeah, you should," I said. Jazmine started to make her way upstairs to go retrieve Huelene's carrier. While she was doing that I noticed William standing outside for too long. He had his badge in his hand but he was looking at the view of the city.

Knowing him, he would have come from the patio by now to leave. But he's waiting for Jazmine and Huelene to leave the penthouse. I knew he was upset with me for bringing Jazmine back into my life. We just talked about this and I have already failed.

Jazmine came downstairs with Huelene's carrier. "I made sure to turn off the water," she assured.

I didn't mind her leaving it on because maybe it might encourage me to take a shower tonight. I haven't done so in two weeks and it would be nice to feel clean again. "Thank you!"

She sat the carrier on my kitchen counter. I didn't like the idea of germs getting on the counter from other objects. I was going to immediately wipe the counter as soon as she and William leave.

I can't have Nicholas catching these types of germs. Babies can easily get sick with little things such as this happening. Then it'll pass on to me and make me sick. I can't afford for Nicholas and me to get sick at a time like this.

"Can I see Huelene?" she asked.

I looked at her confused because I didn't know why she had her hands out. When I looked at my hands to see I was still holding Huelene who has seem to fall asleep. She goes out easier than Nicholas does.

"Yeah!" I said gently handing Huelene to her. She started to put Huelene in her carrier and strap her up. She tried her best not to wake her up.

Once she had her secured she was ready to go. Jazmine grabbed the carrier from off the counter. Then she stood in front of me before she left.

"James, I would like to thank you again for what you have done for Huelene," she said.

"You're welcome," I said. Before Jazmine and Huelene left, I added: "You know you're always welcome to come over here. Since we're both struggling to be parents, we can help each other and provide support along the way so this can be an easier journey."

Jazmine looked shocked at the offer I was giving her. I knew she had Ebony and Nicole helping her with Huelene, but I still wanted to see her, so I was giving Jazmine a chance to still come back.

"Okay, I'll let you know when I'm free," she said in a thankful matter. I wanted to give her a goodbye kiss but William was out on the patio and he could see everything we were doing.

"Have a goodnight, I see you next time," I said. A smile appeared on her face as she left the door. "You too!" she said before making her way toward the elevator. I closed the door to await William who made his way from the patio.

He looked extremely disappointed. I felt guilty because we had just talked about Jazmine and how it was best for me not to talk to her anymore. It had only been two months and Jazmine wheezed back into my life.

"So, what was Jazmine doing here?" he asked.

"Huelene was having some breathing problems and she came to me for help," I explained. William had given me an odd look and seemed as if he wanted to say something.

"Was it lung issues?" he asked.

"No, it was just a stuffy nose," I said. William shook his head and started to laugh to himself. "And she couldn't do that herself, why?"

"She claims she froze on the spot and didn't know what to do."

"Froze on the spot, with a child?" he said in disbelief.

"Isn't she a nurse? I know she has been working with little kids lately, so that's odd that she couldn't handle a simple situation such as this," William pointed out.

"William, give it a rest, this happens to every parent. Sometimes simple fixes aren't always so simple for others!"

"James, I get Jazmine is a parent, but she was also a nurse who dealt with situations such as this. I know she has had a fair share of infants who she helped treat," William explained.

"And, your point?" I wanted him to cut to the chase.

"My point is that she didn't have to come to you for help. She just wants an excuse to see you again and get back into your life. You should avoid as best as you can because every time you and Jazmine get involved with each other something bad happens. Are you not seeing the patterns at this point?" William exclaimed.

"William nothing bad is going to happen! She just came over to ask for help, is that so wrong?"

"It is when there is something that always happens at the end. You know you're in love with Jazmine, but as soon as she does something you don't like you tear her down. You had given her AIDS, took full custody of Nicholas, and almost took away her parental rights, and there's no telling what you're going to do next time," William explained.

He had a good point but what more can I do to her? I gave her the cure and she should be healthy by now.

"Next time?" I questioned.

"Yes, next time because it's obvious you're not going to listen to me. You're going to fall for Jazmine as always and likewise for her but then something happens which starts to get you riled up," William stated the pattern.

"Trust me, William, this time is different!"

"Okay, you know what, I'll let you be, but if something happens don't say I didn't warn you," William exclaimed before leaving my penthouse.

My heart warmed with joy and soon melted with Williams's comment. It had me scared because could something bad happen at the end of all of this?

...

After that, Jazmine and I kept on seeing each other. Huelene was always left with Jazmine when Ebony and Nicole had to leave for work so the two could enjoy some alone time. Although Ebony had her organization, she still had to keep it updated on a few things. She occasionally even had to leave the city to get something from another part of the nation.

Ebony was closely monitoring Jazmine's every move when it came to heading out. Jazmine often used Tyrone as a front whenever she wanted to visit or spend the night with me. Due to the hospital event, Ebony didn't like the idea of Jazmine seeing Tyrone. Jazmine claims that Ebony believed Tyrone had physically mistreated her before they arrived. Tyrone had blood on his hand as a result of punching me. Before they arrived, it eventually dried up, but when Ebony saw Jazmine crying, she knew something wasn't right. Tyrone's potential victimization of Ebony was the reason she didn't want Jazmine to see him.

If it weren't for Nicole then Jazmine wouldn't be able to see me at all. Nicole convinced Ebony to give Jazmine a little space so she could be happy. Having Ebony breathe down Jazmine's neck was not going to help her or her PPD. I knew she was doing it because she was worried about Jazmine and her mental state, but at times, Ebony needed to learn boundaries.

Jazmine and I were at my penthouse with the twins. It was the afternoon and she had come over to see Nicholas and me. We were in the living room playing with Huelene and Nicholas.

Jazmine had Nicholas and Huelene sit up on the couch while she was playing with them. She was playing PeakaBoo with them. At first, she was using her hands to surprise them but then the trick got old and she started to use a blanket I grabbed from my closet.

I also grabbed a camera I bought from the store yesterday. While I was getting food for Nicholas and Huelene, I saw a camera and decided to buy it. I thought it would be cool to take pictures of Nicholas at the moment and put them in a photo album one day.

Then again, I could always catch other moments of him on another device, such as a video camera. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I didn't buy that while I was at the store. I guess it just slipped my mind when I was there.

I opened up the box I bought the camera in and started to pull out the camera along with the instructions. I looked to see that it had almost 36 pictures within its storage. That's not too bad! For long-term purposes, I will buy a video camera. I can upload the files to my computer and then get a new file.

I looked at Jazmine to see that she was still playing PeakaBoo with Nicholas and Huelene who started to giggle. I wanted to snap a picture of the moment. I directed the camera towards Jazmine and the twins and made sure to match them perfectly into the lens.

I snapped a picture of them as Jazmine was smiling at them and the twins were still giggling. Jazmine turned her head towards me still smiling.

"Did you just snap a picture?" she asked.

"Yeah!" the picture started to surprisingly print itself out which saved me the trouble for later. I took the camera from my lens to pull the photo out of the camera. When I looked at the picture, I couldn't help but smile because I thought it was cute.

"Can I see it, please?" Jazmine asked politely. I leaned over the picture in my hand so she could grab it. I was seated so comfortably that I didn't feel like getting up. She crawled over to grab the photo.

When Jazmine looked at it, her first words were: "Aw, this is so cute!"

"Look at my babies with their cute smiles!" she said showing me the picture as if I just didn't take it. I looked at the picture and just smiled: "They do look cute!"

"Don't they! I feel we should get moments like this all the time," she highly suggested.

"Yeah, we should...I'm planning on getting a video camera so I can get them in the motion of doing these types of things," I said.

"That'll be a good idea! Could get a video of them crawling, walking, and saying their first words," she said.

"Yeah, you're right! I need to get that sooner rather than later so I don't miss much."

"Along with a photo album," she added. I'm glad she said that because I almost forgot about the photo album.

"Along with a photo album," I repeated as she smiled.

"I'm pretty sure later on I'm going to have to buy more cameras if they keep doing cute stuff like this," I added.

"Would be good to have a couple of backup cameras," she said smiling.

"Yeah, it would!"

...

I was in the kitchen with the twins bathing them. Today Jazmine and I took them out to the park. We didn't let them play in the sandpile due to there being other kids who were in there doing all types of stuff in the sandpile. For instance, I saw some kids eating the sand, spitting, rolling around in it, and touching each other.

I know they were being kids, but I was not okay with the twins getting in the pile due to germs. And I can't unsee what I saw at the park. They're not going to be touching anything until they're toddlers. When they do start going to the park everything is going to need to be wiped down, but that's not going to be until another year or two.

Jazmine and I decided to enjoy the weather since it was such a nice day. She was wearing some workout clothes due to her telling Ebony and Nicole she was going to be going for a run.

We sat at the bench for almost an hour until people kept walking by to see the twins. They kept asking if they were twins and how were they so different, yet alike.

We simply answered it was genes!

But then others started to step out of boundaries and try to touch the twins. It didn't take much to convince Jazmine to go back to my penthouse. After she had seen a lady with a dog try to touch the twin's hair, she was ready to go home. She was furious with the lady and wanted to yell at her but she didn't make a scene.

Instead, she was fussing and mumbling on the way back home. I didn't blame her for being upset because those people were being rude. A lot of them didn't even think to ask permission. I can see why the black community doesn't like white people.

I know I'm indirectly criticizing my race, which I'm one of, but it's true. At least some people such as me have manners unlike them.

I put my hand over Huelene's head and poured water onto it. I didn't want her eyes to burn when I poured the water. I did the same to Nicholas who started to kick his legs a little.

Jazmine was cleaning the living room since there were toys everywhere. And she was also washing Huelene and Nicholas's clothes they wore to the park. Since Huelene had to return to the clothes she was wearing she had to wash them and make it seem as if nothing happened.

She came into the kitchen to check on the twins. "Did you wash their hair?" she asked.

"I was just about to." I grabbed the soap and squeezed a nickel size into my palm. I started to wash Nicholas's hair before I had to move to Huelene's. Nicholas didn't take as long due to his texture, but Huelene's took a little longer than his due to her texture.

I grabbed a cup of water to wash all the soap out of Nicholas's hair then I did the same for Huelene. I made sure to cover their eyes so they wouldn't get in. I made that mistake with Nicholas not too long ago and he cried non-stop.

So I made sure not to repeat myself.

I caught a glimpse of Jazmine staring at me in a loveable manner. I couldn't help but feel some type of way with her staring at me like that.

"What's on your mind Jazz?"

She sighed and answered: "Oh, nothing!"

She still had the same look on her face and I decided to ask: "What are you smiling about?"

She started to cover her mouth and giggle. "It's just cute to see you being gentle with the twins!"

I felt flattered that she thought that about me. I didn't know how to respond so I just smiled. I had to eventually say something so she wouldn't notice.

"It is natural for me to be gentle. Babies are like eggs, they're very fragile, and being gentle is key."

"I can tell, you already have your daddy mode turned on," she said. I perked up when she said 'Daddy'. I felt myself getting erect as I kept repeating the words in my head.

Oh, it would be nice if she was naked and I was on top of her in my bed. I would be making her call me 'Daddy' all night long.

I shook my head trying to get the fantasy out of me. That didn't help my case when I mumbled: "I have other switches to my daddy mode."

That wasn't supposed to slip out.

Believe it or not, ever since Jazmine first came over, and we shared that little kiss, we haven't been as intimate. I was okay with it but it was leaving me sexually frustrated when sex was on my mind. I usually kept it off my mind when I was taking care of the twins.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Oh, I just said it's natural for me," I said covering my comment up.

I was finished bathing the twins and was ready to dry them up. Jazmine grabbed one of the towels and she grabbed Huelene from her little tub. I grabbed Nicholas out of his and he kept kicking his feet. Jazmine walked up to me with Huelene covered up in her towel.

"I hope nobody doesn't ever try to put their hands in you guys' hair ever again," she said while rubbing Huelene's hair.

"If they try to, you just back up and say 'no'" she said as if they could understand her.

I slightly laughed at her because she was acting as if they could understand her.

...

It was another nice day outside, this time instead of taking the twins to the park, we took them to go get some ice cream. I thought it would be a good idea for them to taste something sweet instead of eating baby food the whole time.

When I brought this to Jazmine, I thought she would disagree with the kids having ice cream since it has animal products in it but she was fine with it. She said since she got to eat certain foods growing up she shouldn't take that away from the kids.

If they decide they don't want to be vegan in the future she's not going to be bothered. Although I do worry about them eating meat. Due to Jazmine getting sick from the smell, I don't know how that's going to work. Even during her pregnancy, the smell and sight of meat made her puke. It got to the point I didn't have it around my house because that's how sick it made her. Hopefully, in the future, she can have more control over her stomach.

At the ice cream shop, Jazmine got the twins very small amounts of ice cream. She didn't feel comfortable with them eating too much due to them not being a year old yet. They shouldn't be having this but we weren't going to give them too much.

We had got vanilla since it was the most basic flavor. I'll let them choose their own when they turn one year old. For now, we have to stick with the classics.

I was feeding Huelene a little bit of her ice cream while Jazmine was feeding Nicholas. She had a cup of strawberries she was snacking on since she didn't want any ice cream. I got some ice cream, but I ate it while I was in the line.

I couldn't help but capture the moment of the twins having their first ice cream. I pulled the video camera out of Nicholas's stroller. I turned it on and started recording myself feeding Huelene and then turning the camera towards Nicholas and Jazmine who were doing the same thing as last time.

Jazmine caught the camera in my hand and she started to smile and make faces. I just smiled and then turned it back to Huelene who was dancing around in her seat.

Some of the felted ice cream was coming from her mouth. I grabbed a napkin and started to wipe it off her mouth as she started to giggle.

"It must be good isn't it?"

"It probably is with her dancing like that," Jazmine exclaimed.

"That's enough ice cream for you Huelene...you are for sure going to be active tonight," I said as I stopped recording. I didn't want her to eat too much sugar so I stopped.

Jazmine did the same for Nicholas and stopped feeding him ice cream.

"So is Nicholas," she said.

...

It was a hot day during the summer! Ebony went out of state while Nicole was going to be at work all day. Jazmine didn't want to be stuck in a hot house with Huelene who was overheating. She called and told me it would be a good idea to take the kids to the water park today.

I thought it would be excellent for Nicholas and me to get out of the house. Thankfully I bought him a swimsuit before he came to live with me. I'm not fond of waterparks but I didn't want to take that away from Nicholas. I made sure to be prepared just in case we were to go to a waterpark someday.

I packed almost everything before leaving my penthouse and meeting up with Jazmine.

While we were there sitting in the kitty pool area, I was uncomfortably laying back in my seat watching all the kids run around and splash each other with water. Then there were women looking at me.

Jazmine was sitting beside me in the other chair blowing up a duck floaty she brought from the store. It was big enough for the twins to sit in, so it was going to take a good minute for her to blow it up.

The twins were in their strollers with their swimsuits on. They had a cover that was protecting them from the sun since it was so hot. I looked at Jazmine to see she was almost done blowing into the floaty. She was trying to make it tight as possible.

When she was done with it she smiled: "Perfect!"

She left over into the twin's stroller to grab the sunscreen. She took Huelene out of the stroller first to start applying sunscreen on her. I couldn't help but take a picture of her doing so. Although she didn't seem to notice I thought it was cute how she was applying sunscreen to them.

"Your skin is very sensitive," she said rubbing the sunscreen onto Huelene. "Make sure to always apply on a hot day so you don't get sunburn," she said to Huelene. She is once again acting as if Huelene can understand what she is saying.

After she was done applying sunscreen on Huelene, she rubbed a smidge of cream on her nose which caused her to start laughing. Jazmine handed Huelene to me as she kept moving around. She had on a little cute hat that was almost about to come off. I made sure to adjust it so it wouldn't come off her head.

She took Nicholas out of his stroller and she started to apply sunscreen to him. I made sure to snap another picture of her doing so.

"This little piggy went to the market," she started to say as she was playing with Nicholas's toes.

"This little piggy stayed home," Nicholas started to laugh.

This was a video moment. I leaned over to grab my video camera out of the bag to start recording Jazmine singing to Nicholas who was still laughing.

"This little piggy had roast meat," she chanted.

"This little piggy had none," she said wiggling his toe and he started to laugh louder at the feeling.

"This little piggy went to the barn's door and cried cried cried," she ended off by blowing on his cheek. As soon as she got done applying sunscreen to his body she rubbed a little dot on his nose. She handed Nicholas to me as she started to apply sunscreen on herself. I bit down on my lip as I found that sexual.

I don't know what's wrong with me. It's not right to be thinking this way at a waterpark. It can easily pop out and everybody might think I'm a pedophile. Since I'm at a waterpark with kids and I also have the babies in my hand.

"Do you need any sunscreen?" she asked.

"No, I should be good," I said as she gave me an odd look.

"Are you sure? You can get sunburn," she warned.

"I'm positive! Before I came here I applied some."

"Then you need to reapply," she said.

"Jazmine, I'm fine," I said as she held her hands up in defeat.

"Fine then...Just know when you're red in the next couple of hours, I'm gonna say I told you so," she said dropping it.

She grabbed the duck floaty and got up from her seat.

"Let's head to the pools! I'm getting toasty just sitting here," she said. I got up from my seat with the twins in my arms. Jazmine started to head to the kitty pool while I followed behind her.

I was hesitant to get in because there was no telling what those kids have already done in there. I know that kids tend to pee and do under businesses in there which I don't want to mention.

Jazmine sat the duck floaty in the pool and looked at me who still haven't taken a step in the water.

"James," she said looking at me.

"Why haven't you gotten in yet?" she asked. I was afraid to answer that question because the reason I didn't get in yet was that I was uncomfortable. Why would I want to get in when I have an idea of what kids do in here?

I don't even get in my pool. What if the people who stayed there before me did something in that pool? I don't blame them if they did do something, but I don't want to have the idea it's going to be on me forever.

"No reason!" I lied.

"Then bring the twins here," she said as I wanted to move but I stayed in the same spot.

"Can I meet you on the side so I can put them in the floaty?"

"James, it's just barely three feet of water. The most that will get wet is your feet," she said as I shook my head.

"Can we just meet on the side?" I asked as I saw a kid spit in the water, "Please?"

Jazmine looked around to then look back at me, "Alright!"

She walked over to the side of the wall with the floaty and I followed along the line. She had the floaty, ready for them to sit in. I squat down with the twins still in my arms. Jazmine grabbed Huelene first and then grabbed Nicholas.

"Don't they look so cute?" she said adoring them. I smiled at them and then held my finger up.

"Let me go get the camera."

I left to grab the camera and recorder out of my chair and stroller. I had to get a picture and video so I wouldn't miss much. I walked over to where Jazmine and the twins were. They were still in the same spot, but Jazmine was sprinkling water on them.

I didn't like it but I wasn't going to spoil their fun with my beliefs. It was hot outside and I didn't want them to overheat.

I squat down with the camera ready as I put the recorder on the ground.

"Smile!" I said as she smiled along with the twins.

She started to walk them around with the floaty. There were sprinklers in the middle of the kitty pool and she pass by there a couple of times so water could get splashed on them. I started to record them as she continued to do it repeatedly.

I couldn't help but feel happy in the moment of watching Jazmine enjoying her time with the twins. Sometimes I wish moments like this could last forever.

The sad thing is forever will feel like an illusion as time goes on and things change. I hope I can enjoy the twin's innocence before they endure personalities.

Every child goes through it but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that stage with them yet. I think that's what people define as the terrible twos.

I stopped recording Jazmine and the twins as I had seen they were getting tired and decided to go put up the cameras and get their towels. I had it ready for when Jazmine brought the twins to the wall like before.

I surprisingly was able to grab both of them without any trouble. Jazmine took the floaty out of the water before she got out herself. It wasn't much of a struggle since she was in less than three feet of water.

"Well that was fun," she said smiling.

"Yeah, it seemed like you guys enjoyed yourselves."

"We did! It would have been more fun if you got in the water," she said making me feel awkward. I didn't want to her I didn't like to get into pools.

"Yeah, but I wasn't feeling it today. Maybe some other time with fewer people around," I said uncomfortably.

"Okay, next time," she said catching onto my drift.

"We should start heading to your place," she suggested. I thought that was a good idea but I didn't want to make it look obvious.

"You sure?" I asked as she nodded.

"You're starting to change colors and not in a good way," she said I was confused as to what she meant.

"Changing colors?" I questioned. She directed her eyes toward my body. I looked down to see that I was turning a little red and not in a good way.

"Yeah, we should head home." She nodded her head and we headed back to our sitting area to go put up the twin's stuff. Then we left the water park to go back to my place so she could help me get rid of my sunburn.

It was a pain in the ass when she had to rub distilled vinegar on my body.

...

The week before Halloween, Jazmine and I went shopping with the twins to go find them a cute costume. I thought it would be cute to get them a matching set so they could look like twins, but due to them not being able to trick or treat together, it wouldn't make sense.

I was hoping Jazmine and Huelene would join us so we could go Trick or Treating together. Ebony and Nicole were going to tag along to take Huelene Trick or Treating for the first time. It's expected of the two to be present for Huelene's first Halloween. Just as for the other holidays that come along such as Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We were walking down the aisles for infants to see what would be a perfect fit for the twins. I didn't like most of them because they were too basic. I was not going to let Nicholas be basic for Halloween.

Some parents were trying to dress their kids up like teddy bears, unicorns, strawberries, pumpkins, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and so on. I looked at one of those exact parents who was my girlfriend whom I have been co-parenting.

Yeah, Jazmine and I started to date again a couple of weeks ago, but that's another story to share.

"Look James isn't this cute?" she excitedly spoke showing me a Winnie the Pooh costume. That still counts as a teddy bear costume. I was beside Huelene and Nicholas who were in the basket together.

I smiled awkwardly at the costume she showed and she immediately frowned after.

"James what's with the fake smile?" she asked, upset.

I sighed and threw my hands up dramatically. "Jazmine I don't have a problem with the costumes." I lied, of course, but she could do something out of the ordinary.

"Yes, you do! Every costume I have shown you so far, you don't like for some odd reason," she exclaimed.

Jazmine showed me a bunch of costumes I did not like. I just felt the twin's first Halloween should be memorable. They could go as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. Now, that would be cool! I saw one of the costumes on one of the racks while Jazmine was showing me the other costumes.

"That is not true!" I argued.

"Okay then, what costume did you like that I showed you?" she asked crossing her arms. She waited for my answer while staring me down.

I wanted to go with one of them but I just didn't like any of them.

"The teddy bear!" I said. That was the last one she picked up. She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air.

"You're lying! You didn't like the first two I showed you. Every time I liked a costume that would go perfectly with Huelene you always give me an odd look," she exclaimed.

"Can you blame me? All the costumes are basic Jazz!"

"If you think they're so basic then what costume do you think she should get? Do you already have one planned for Nicholas since you're being so judgemental?" she exclaimed.

I held my finger up for a second. I went to go retrieve Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia's costumes off the rack. When I returned to Jazmine with a smile plastered on my face she had given me an odd look.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Are you kidding me? It's Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia costumes from Star Wars. Since they're siblings it will be cute and they won't be basic. They'll be kept up to date with what's going on now and they'll surely get more candy," I said.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure about Princess Leia. I'm not that big of a Star Wars fan," she said. Wow, that's a shocker.

"My friends and family always went to go see it but I never enjoyed watching it," she admitted.

"Jazz, how could you not like Star Wars?" I exclaimed.

"I don't know James. I never liked the flying into space and the weird affection that was going on in those movies. The only reason I watched it was because the guy that played Luke Skywalker was cute. Just like in the movie Karate Kid, I only paid attention because of Danny Lorenzo. I don't tune into the movies as much," she said. I looked at Jazmine funny because she had just admitted that she didn't find interest in Star Wars or Karate Kid.

She just watched it because of the lead actors.

I don't blame her now that I think about it. The men are very charming in those movies! I think a lot of girls that are Jazmine's age obsess over the leading roles in the movies.

"Okay!" I said.

"Okay, what?" she questioned.

"I mean okay, we don't have to dress the twins up as Luke and Leia," I said. I was about to go put the costume on until she grabbed my arm.

"No...it's starting to grow on me. Plus I have to push my views out of the way and let Nicholas and Huelene enjoy their first Halloween together," she said.

"I thought she was going Trick or Treating with Ebony and Nicole."

"Yeah, she is, but I'm planning to take her to the church. A friend of mine asked us to come and Ebony convinced me to go. She said Huelene and I could have mother-and-daughter time with each other. Since that means she's not tagging along I thought it would be nice if you and Nicholas joined us. That way the twins can spend it together," she explained.

"I think it will be cute if Nicholas and Huelene go as Luke and Leia. Since they're twins it'll only be right to have them dress as twins for Halloween. If you decide to tag along you can dress as the guy that has the creepy voice," she said trying to pinpoint a character.

"You know the one that sounds like he does drugs and smokes a lot," she said. I knew she was talking about Darth Vader but I wanted to see how long she was going to continue going into detail about him.

"He is always in something black, has a robotic mask, and carries a red stick," she continued.

"He says, 'I'm your father' or something! Luke and Leia are related to him. James, you can't be this down bad if you don't know who I'm talking about," she said as I started to smirk at her.

"Jazmine, I know exactly who you're talking about. I just found it funny the way you described him," I said laughing.

"Ha ha, hilarious!" she sarcastically laughed.

"Yeah, but don't go around describing him like that. You might trigger some of the fans," I warned. She rolled her eyes and took the costume out of my hands to put it in the basket.

"Noted...Now, let's go find your Darth Vader costume," she said walking down the aisles as I pushed the basket again.

This was an exciting experience! I was going to celebrate Halloween for the first time in over 20 years. I think the last time I did celebrate Halloween was during my freshman and sophomore year of college. After a while, it just became weird to dress up. With me working every Halloween, I didn't have much time to celebrate it.

The most I contribute to it Halloween was giving a bunch of bad kids some candy on my way from work. It was either get egged or give them candy! I didn't like candy as much because it's bad for you, so giving them my baggy was better than being egged.

People were always irresponsible with themselves when it came to Halloween. They were either drunk, injured, or on some type of substance.

I never sat at home and enjoyed a Halloween to myself. I remember when I was with Jane, she used to want us to dress as a couple and go to parties her friends hosted. Sadly, I never got to be in full attendance at the party.

I would always get called in to come back to the hospital for assistance. Whenever I would ditch Jane at the parties she would get upset. She didn't like the embarrassment she had to endure walking in alone without me by her side.

After a while, it got to the point she stopped asking me to come and she also stopped going. She would sit at the penthouse or go to the church or library to pass out candy. Then she would come back home hoping I would be there.

Sadly, I never showed up! That was the worst part of our marriage; me being dedicated to my job more than her.

I realized my mistakes and I'm trying to do a better job for Jazmine, Nicholas, and Huelene.

...

I remember this was one of the most memorable days with the twins. It was in the middle of November. A week before Thanksgiving!

Jazmine thought it would be a good idea to have Thanksgiving as a family. She didn't want to pass up this opportunity and miss out on the holiday with us. We went to the stores and started to buy all the traditional meals for Thanksgiving. She even loosened up and bought a miniature size turkey.

It wasn't much but it was enough for the twins and I to snack on. I stopped eating a lot of meat around Jazmine out of respect. I knew she didn't like it and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

I remember when she was pregnant with the twins she hated the sight of meat. It always made her puke. But I was seeing a lot of growth from her since the pregnancy. I thought she wouldn't want to feed the twins meat due to her beliefs but I guess she was letting up since it was their first Thanksgiving.

She was in the kitchen cooking up a storm while I was in the living room playing with the twins. I bought them a Playpen a couple of months ago. I put it in my living room for a bigger space. I would put a bunch of toys that were safe for children in the pen and have Nicholas and Huelene entertained for a couple of hours.

Since Jazmine was busy cooking, I was taking care of the twins.

I had my shirt off while I was in the Playpen due to skin-to-skin contact. I also didn't want the twins throwing up on my shirts. I couldn't afford for another one to get ruined. I could buy more but I didn't want to keep wasting my money on shirts that were most likely going to get destroyed.

I had my video recorder next to me just in case the twins do something exciting. They've been mumbling and jumbling lately, meaning that they're about to start saying their first words. I want to make sure I don't miss anything so I'm staying ready.

They've also been rolling and sitting up on their own, also meaning they're about to start crawling. Again, I can't miss the first time they start doing it. I was lucky enough to catch them in the act when they were trying to get to one of their chew toys.

Nicholas and Huelene normally do stuff around the same time. I'm unsure if it's twin telepathy or if they're just learning together.

Most likely learning together! I think twin telepathy only happens every once in a while.

I looked to my side to grab my camera. I started to tamper with it due to being bored.

When I looked up again, I had seen the most astonishing thing. Huelene was crawling to me!

"Oh shit!" I mumbled. I started to get the camera rolling so I could capture Huelene crawling for the first time.

I had my lens set on her as she continued to attempt to crawl to me.

"Come on, got it Hue!" I smiled. She started smiling back at me and she tried to crawl faster to me.

"Jazz, I think you might wanna come to see this!" I yelled.

"What is it James?" she asked. I heard her putting some stuff up and ticking noises. Her footsteps started to get louder as she approached the living room.

"Hurry up!" I rushed.

I heard her quicken her steps. When she finally made it she was shocked to see Huelene crawling.

"Oh my God!" she said sounding as if she was about to cry.

"Come on Huelene!" she said getting in the pen.

"You're almost there," I said as she was close to getting to me.

She kept crawling until she finally got to me. I put the camera down to grab her.

"You did it Huelene!" I excitedly spoke. Huelene started to smile at me and somewhat clap her hands.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart!" Jazmine proudly spoke as a couple of tears dropped.

Huelene stared at me still smiling and said some words I never thought I would hear from her: "Da-da!"

That took me back because I was not expecting her to say that. I looked over at Jazmine to see she was shocked. Her face was priceless!

I didn't know what to detect from her. Was she excited or upset? There was no telling how she was feeling at that moment.

Seconds later, I heard Nicholas start saying: "Da-da!"

"Nicky, you said it too!" I said happy that Nicholas said it. I looked over at Jazmine to see she was smiling. I went over to pick up Nicholas to kiss him on the head. I was such a proud father at the moment to hear both of my kids call me 'Da-da' for the first time.

I had seen Jazmine head back to the kitchen. I heard her fiddling around with the food for a while until she came back into the living room and told us the food was ready.

We got the twins seated for dinner. I thought it would be a nice experience but the vibe was off when Jazmine looked zoned out the whole dinner. I started to get worried because I didn't know if she was mad at me.

Did I do something wrong?

I would ask her but I don't want her to make a scene in front of the kids. I will just do it after dinner. The whole time there was nothing but silence between Jazmine and I. The twins were mumbling and playing with their food the whole time.

Once it was over, I cleaned up the kitchen since Jazmine cooked and she decided to go clean the twins since I took care of them while she was cooking. The whole time while I was washing dishes and wiping down the kitchen, I kept rehearsing how I was going to approach Jazmine about what happened earlier.

I didn't want to poke the bear but something was going to have to be said. She seemed too bothered earlier when Huelene said her first words. When I was done cleaning up the kitchen I went to go check on Jazmine and the twins. She and Huelene were spending a night over at my place.

Ebony let up and decided to allow Huelene to spend a night over Tyrone's house. Although Tyrone's house is my house.

I checked the bathroom to see the twins and Jazmine were not in there. The bathtub was cleared with a little water on the floor. Meaning Jazmine was done getting the twins ready for bed. I left the bathroom and headed to Nicholas Nursery.

I had walked in to see Jazmine putting the twins to sleep. She started to turn on the humidifier, the star projector, and nighttime music so the twins could sleep peacefully.

I thought it would be a disturbance to hear music while sleeping, but since it helps Nichoas sleep, I sleep. A win is a win!

On some occasions, it's hard to get him to close his eyes or get some type of rest. Since he and Huelene played so hard today they tired themselves out. I should let him do that all the time just so I can have a more peaceful sleep at night.

"Hey Jazz," I softly spoke. She looked to acknowledge me.

"Hi James," she said breaking eye contact with me.

She walked past me and started to head to my room as I followed her.

What was she doing?

She went into my bathroom to turn on the shower so she could prepare for bed. I watched as she stripped naked and started to tie her hair up.

I got erected at the sight of her naked body. I wanted to make a move but I knew I had to discuss what happened earlier.

"Hey, Jazz!" She turned to look at me.

"What's up?" she asked.

"We need to talk," I started. She looked confused as to what I was getting at. "About what happened earlier today with the twins."

"That would be?" she asked playing dumb.

"C'mon Jazz, don't play dumb! You know I'm talking about what happened between Huelene and me earlier."

Jazmine sighed and held her head down.

"It was nothing James," she said turning to head to the showers.

"It didn't seem like nothing," I said following.

"When Huelene said 'Da-da' to me you were bothered," I said as she went into the shower. I was awaiting an answer from her but she turned away from me.

She was starting to get on my last nerves avoiding my questions. Whenever Jazmine didn't want to answer something she either would try to beat around the bush or not answer it.

"I wasn't bothered, James," she lied.

"Yes, you were, and I need you to tell me why," I sternly spoke.

She continued to ignore me and continue with her shower. I didn't want to do or say anything I was going to regret so I decided to dismiss myself.

I can't stand when she does stuff like that. If it was the other way around she would be in my face about it. I'm not going to give this any more attention than it already has. The more I think about it the more it's either going to make me upset or curious. I don't want to fight with Jazmine over something like this because it's going to cause a problem and I don't want any problems.

I waited in my bedroom while she was still showering. Once she was done I made sure to get my clothes ready for bed. As soon as she came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her body I waited to see if I could get a response from her. Sadly, I could not because she still looked unapproachable.

Again, I did not want to argue with Jazmine tonight so I avoided trying to talk to her about it.

I went to go take my shower, wash my face, and brush my teeth before getting into bed. Once I was ready to get into bed, I walked into my room to see Jazmine fast asleep. I shook my head in disappointment and got on my side of the bed.

I guess I was going to bed mad! People always say not to go to bed mad because it ruins you mentally. Working as a doctor I always tried not to go to bed mad. If I show any signs of distress around a patient that can make them uncomfortable. I don't ever want them to feel that way so I try my best not to go to bed mad.

I know I'm not working as a doctor now, but I am a father! The last thing I want is Nicholas or Huelene to see is me, upset for something that isn't their fault.

When it comes to Jazmine, there is so much that happened between us. We went from having an affair to breaking up, getting aids, having a fall-out, departing, stalking, rekindling for the twins, getting back together, trying to move to another state, then breaking up again and having another fall-out, to rekindling and getting back together.

As you can see, I'm on thin ice with her!

I can't keep getting easily upset and doing something I'll regret in the long run. I have to ignore this problem and sweep it under the rug because she's not going to discuss the issue with Huelene calling me "Da-da".

I have a feeling why she is upset. I want to say his name but I feel if I mention it she'll get emotional. Deep down I know she is still in love with Huey! I'm not upset because I know how it feels to leave a lover and try to get over them. I had a hard time getting over Jane after our divorce but I eventually moved on at someone point.

I know Jazmin is eventually going to get over him, but it takes time and I have to be patient. Since he has moved on with his life and he most likely has a girlfriend, she'll start doing the same thing.

She knows that she and Huey will never get back together or even see each other. It wouldn't be a good idea.

Jazmine had tried to move to the next step in our relationship but I messed that up when Archy told me what happened in Washington. I was upset with her but then after a while, I learned to let it go.

In order for our relationship to work, we have to put what happened in the past behind us. It doesn't need to be revisited due to it causing problems.

I tried to relax in my sleep, but I couldn't, there was too much on my mind for me to sleep properly.

I felt movement on Jazmine's side of the bed. I could feel her sitting up and moving a little closer to me.

"James, are you still awake?" she asked.

I readjusted myself to laying on my back and seeing Jazmine from the corner of my eye. She was laying on her side looking at me.

"Yeah, I'm up!"

"Can I talk to you about what happened earlier?" she asked. It's as if she could read my mind because that is exactly what I wanted to talk about.

"Yeah!" I said sitting up in my bed as she did the same.

"If I tell you the real reason I was zoned out this evening can you promise not to get mad?" she asked in assurance.

"Yeah!" I had an idea of what she was about to say, but I still remained calm.

"Okay, the reason I was closed off this evening was because of Huelene calling you "Da-da" It struck a nerve in me and I started to feel guilty," she admitted.

"Why, do you think you did something wrong?" I asked.

"Yes and no! I'm glad that you are present in her life as a father figure because she seems to be oddly attached to you. I love how you love her as one of your own and you don't treat her any differently. Though, I do feel guilty that I'm taking this kind of thing from Huey," she explained.

Huey, Huey, Huey! That's all that comes to mind when she mentions him.

"I'm sorry if it comes across that way," I apologized. I would feel guilty, but I don't because the court has sent Huey documents of Huelene's existence due to Jazmine's disease. Tom, Sarah, and Huey should have gotten them by now.

I haven't heard Jazmine mention anything relating to them because she would never keep quiet about it. Anything that has to do with the three of them is not ignored as easily as you think it would be.

"No, you don't have to apologize! Huey should have gotten the documents by now and said something, but he hasn't, so that lets me know where he stands with all of this," Jazmine spoke with disappointment shown in her tone.

"What about your parents?" I asked.

"They haven't said anything either. My parents check the mail all the time, so if they ignored something like this, they don't want to have anything to do with Huelene," she said with disappointment still present.

"Wow..." I said in shock.

"What?" she asked wondering what I was thinking.

"I'm just shocked they didn't say anything! I mean your dad is a lawyer for cris sake," I exclaimed as she nodded.

"Yeah, which is the sad part about it! Hopefully neither one of them try to claim Huelene. That way Ebony and Nicole can have her within their custody," she sadly spoke.

"That's good, but why are you sad?" I asked, concerned.

"I'm not sad!" she denied.

"You are and I'm curious to know why," I said.

"Okay..." she said taking a deep breath, "I'm sad that I'm going to have to give up custody for Huelene because I don't think I'm fit to be a parent, or at least Ebony doesn't think so."

"Why do you give a fuck about what Ebony thinks about you?" I asked offended. I was pissed because Ebony thought Jazmine wasn't fit to be a parent, but she, on the other hand, aborted her children.

Then on top of that, she keeps breathing down Jazmine's neck and judging her every move. Keep in mind this is something you shouldn't do after a woman gives birth. Most women suffer PPD a.k.a Postpartum Depression. I noticed that Jazmine sometimes feels that way and I try my best not to make her sadder.

"Because I look up to Ebony and she expects so much of me. She wants me to be present in Huelene's life and be a good mom before I pass on, and I'm trying, but sometimes I think it's not enough in her eyes. I tried my best not to get attached to Huelene in the beginning but I can't help but love both her and Nicholas. They mean the world to me and to let them go would hurt," she explained.

"Are you saying you don't want to give up custody of Huelene?"

"Yes!" she answered.

"Have you told them this?"

"No, I haven't, and I don't intend on telling them how I truly feel because the last thing I want to do is hurt them. I know how much they want a child and they're already getting attached to Huelene. It would be wrong to take her away from them," she said. I understood where she was coming from because I wouldn't want that to happen to me. If somewhere were to take Nicholas away from me I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would be heartbroken because Nicholas is part of me and I can't have that part broken off.

"Okay, that's understandable!"

"And for my parents and Huey not wanting her is a good and bad thing. It's bad because it makes me sad to know that her own grandparents and father don't want to know her. You don't ever want to take those initial people out of their lives because when they get older they're eventually going to start asking questions you can't beat around the bush with. I could lie to her, but what good is that going to do?" Jazmine exclaimed.

"It's not going to do any good. Huelene is eventually going to start asking you questions about everything. Especially Tom and Sarah since those are your parents."

"What if I lied and told her Ebony and Nicole are my parents," she said. I looked at her funny because it would be comforting in the short run but bad in the long run.

"Jazmine, I don't have to explain why that would be a bad idea," I said as she started laughing.

"Regardless of what happens, that is to be talked about in the long run, not now! If Huelene decides to ask about Huey someday it will be best to tell her because you don't want to keep that away from her."

"You're right, James! We have 5 years until she starts asking questions, plus I feel she already has you as a father figure in her life," she said almost making me smile. "She loves you very much and I like how you treat her like a princess!"

I couldn't help but smile because I did love Huelene! I saw her as my own daughter and I would be proud to be her dad. I thought I wouldn't be a good girl dad but I think I'm getting the hang of it.

...

Me having a sensitive spot for Huelene, I have a tendency to spoil her on some occasions. This occasion happened to be Christmas! It wasn't Christmas Day, but we were near Christmas. Jazmine was on Christmas Break and she was busy shopping for Christmas presents.

She had been with Ebony and Nicole shopping and grabbing decorations since it was going to be Huelene's first Christmas. She was excited about it because she was decorating the house, baking cookies, watching a marathon of Christmas movies, and taking pictures of her for Christmas.

That's the reason we were in the mall today. She wanted Huelene, Nicholas, her, and I to all take pictures together. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. I've been wanting to get Nicholas to take a picture with Santa for a long time but every time I get to the mall there is always a long line I don't feel like sitting in. I thought about dressing up as Santa Clause myself and taking the picture, but it wouldn't be the same.

Plus, I don't think I would be able to pull it off because I'm not fat. Santa Clause is fat and out of shape and I'm nowhere near that. When my son looks at the pictures he's going to notice a big difference.

We were in a long line to take pictures with Santa Clause. This was one of the reasons why I made an attempt to dress as Santa myself. Since Jazmine was here there was someone who I could talk to. We were midway in line and it was gonna be another hour wait.

I started to feel my feet aching from just standing. Jazmine and I would take turns sitting down or going to the restroom to handle the twins. Overall, sitting in line was tiring!

I had Huelene trapped in on chest while she was kicking her feet around. We had their strollers but they would start crying and fiddling with the clothes Jazmine and I dressed them in.

We could not afford for them to get dirty so we had to keep their hands and feet away. Jazmine didn't want Huelene messing up her hair that she worked on for a couple of hours. She wanted everything to be perfect!

Huelene kept looking at the store across from us that had toys on display. I looked at the title to see it was called KB Toys. She kept having her eyes set on the girly toys.

I normally bought Huelene quite a few items. If she couldn't take them back home I would let Jazmine leave them at my place so she could play with them for when she came over. Or other times she would take them home.

Jazmine didn't mind me buying Huelene stuff because she thought it was cute when we had father-daughter times. She only had a problem when I would let Huelene get away with stuff like throwing things to the ground or throwing a temper tantrum. I didn't think it was a good idea to let her do such a thing, but I didn't have the nerve to discipline or yell at Huelene.

Like a typical girl dad, I had a soft spot for Huelene, and one thing I don't want to see is her upset.

Whenever Huelene would do something to get herself in trouble, Jazmine would always pop her. This took Huelene by surprise and of course, upset her. I would comfort Huelene since I didn't like to see her cry.

I haven't gotten her much for Christmas, only a few items, such as bows, dresses, and blocks. I thought about getting her a kitchen set but I will have to wait until she starts standing on her own.

She didn't stop looking at KB Toys. Since we were going to be in line for a couple of hours I thought it would be a good idea to step out and go look at the toys. She wouldn't stop staring and all the toys did look satisfying. It wouldn't hurt to step away for a little bit.

"Hey, Jazz! Huelene and I are going to step away for a bit to take a break, is that fine with you?" I said.

"Yes, that's fine! Make sure you come back so I can sit down for a little bit," she said.

"Okay, we'll be gone 10 minutes tops!" I assured.

"Okay!" she said.

Huelene and I left to go to KB Toys and get her whatever she was looking at. Hopefully, it wasn't a doll because I didn't want her to chew on the hair and choke. I wasn't even sure about buying her tiny items because she would choke. I just hope she doesn't show any interest in what she might choke on.

I went into the toy store to see a bunch of kids looking at the items while parents were rushing to buy everything. I didn't want Huelene to get involved with anybody that could possibly harm her. I stayed in one part of the section so she could look at some of the girl's toys.

She looked amazed at what she was looking at. I'm guessing because of the colors and items. I thought some of them looked appealing, but there was a lot.

I walked back and forth down the aisles for Huelene to get a good look at the available toys. Christmas was about to happen in a couple of days and everybody was taking everything.

People seemed not to have any self-control due to their pushing to get to certain items. All the big stuff was about to be gone, unlike the little stuff that was meant for babies that were still there.

I wanted to get out of this place because I did not want Huelene and me to get involved in any brawls. If I came back with Huelene in harm or her hair messed up, Jazmine was going to kill me.

Literally!

Thankfully, Huelene started to show attention to a chew item that she was reaching her hand for. I grabbed a red circular chew toy that she wanted. With all the items she could have grabbed, she picked a chew toy. She's a baby and attracted to certain items, so it makes more sense why she would choose it.

I was about to head towards the line when she said: "Da-da!"

"Hmm?" I sounded letting her know she had my attention.

"Da-da-da-da!" She started to point toward a teddy that had peppermints surrounding it. I walked towards it and grabbed the one she was looking at. It did look cute and it smelled good!

I put that to the side with the item she was trying to chew on but I had to make her resist. I went to the other aisles to see some of the Looney Tune Characters almost out of stock. There were people grabbing them from left to right and I wasn't too confident walking down the aisles.

I was about to turn around and get in line until one of the Looney Tune items got thrown in front of me. I looked to see that it was one of the worst ones! It was that ugly Tasmanian Devil!

Again, I was about to turn around to get in line when Huelene started to move and kick her legs out. She tried to reach for the stuffed animal though she was far away from it.

I looked down at that ugly thing and shook my head. I was leaving to head to the front until she started to wine.

Oh, Lord!

Don't tell me she wants that!

She could have any other Looney Tunes character, that being Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety Bird, Sylvester, and the Road Runner. Not the Coyate because that also creeped me out.

I didn't like seeing or hearing Huelene in distress, so I picked up the ugly Tasmanian Devil and put it to the side with the other items she picked. I went to the front to go pay for the items. They weren't as much as you think they would.

When I returned to the line with Jazmine and Nicholas she had given me an odd look.

"A break you say," she said directing her attention towards the bag that had toys in it.

"We were looking around and got caught up in the toy store."

"Mmm-Mmm!" Huelene sounded. Sometimes I think when she sounds that, she's trying to refer to Jazmine as 'Ma-Ma' which she's having a hard time saying.

"Okay, what did you get her that I'm going to have to wrap up tonight?" she asked looking into the bag. When she got done peeking, she had given me an odd look.

"You got her the Tasmanian Devil?" she exclaimed.

"Wait, before you get upset, I didn't want to get her something that was going to scare her or that looked ugly, she wanted this! I tried to walk away and she was about to start crying, and you know I can't handle Huelene crying," I explained.

She looked at Huelene to see she was happy about the Tasmanian Devil.

"Okay, as long as she's happy, I'm happy!" she said closing the bag.

"Yes and look that's the important thing!"

...

On March 21st, three days after the twin's birthday, Jazmine and I decided to celebrate it with them together. Yesterday, on Saturday, Ebony and Nicole threw Huelene a birthday party. For Nicholas, William and I decided to take him to Chuck E. Cheese.

Everybody thought we were a gay couple! Which we weren't!

As Nicholas God Father, William decided to spoil him for his first birthday. He got him so many toys that he could play with. It was going to take a lot to move all of our stuff to Missouri.

I haven't decided when Nicholas and I will be leaving. Nicholas Nursery room was finished and the designers let me know it was ready. I haven't found the perfect time to tell Jazmine that I will have to be leaving soon.

I don't have to go, but I don't want my money to be a waste on the house. This is supposed to be a new beginning for Nicholas and me. I'm actually looking forward to moving to Missouri. I looked into it prior before I came here. I have always lived in Washington and worked at the same place for years.

I've always been afraid of change. Getting fired from my job was a wake-up call I needed. I took it as a sign to start something new. I've always worked under someone and their schedule.

I think I'm a smart man who is capable of doing more than I can. William was right about opening up my practice. I have the knowledge to teach nurses and doctors when they come in.

Starting something new won't be so bad!

My only obstacle is Jazmine!

I've been staying in West Virginia for her and Huelene. I could have left a long time ago but I chose to stay. Before the summer ends I want to be moved into the house that's in Missouri.

The thing is I don't know how to tell Jazmine that I'm moving. She knows that I want to go to Missouri but she doesn't know when. I have to tell her eventually!

Though I know she'll be upset, the truth has to come out at some point.

We were all sitting in the kitchen together. Jazmine was placing ones in the twin's cupcakes and I was sitting at the counter with them in their high chairs.

I didn't care too much for sweets and Jazmine was on a diet. She had been trying to get rid of her mommy tummy which wasn't much. To her, it was a lot, but to me, it wasn't as much as she thought it was. She had a bit of a flabby tummy that she disliked.

I never thought I would like fat on someone's body, but she has a thick figure I like. It's a turn-on most of the time when she wears something tight.

"I'm almost done!" Jazmine said making sure the number ones were set up perfectly.

"Do you have your camera ready?" she asked. I raised my video camera up and she smiled.

"My babies are going to have their first birthday together," she sweetly spoke.

"I remember when I pushed the two of them out. Had me in that hospital for hours! I thought I wanted ten of you, but we gone have to stop at two. Y'all teared my vagina up!" she exclaimed as I laughed a little.

"You sure you don't want another one?" I joked.

"Under the influence of Ebony and Nicole, no, but I do want to have more one day," she said in hope.

"I can put one in you right now since you're clean," I joked as she started to turn pink.

"James, stop playing!" she laughed.

"C'mon Jazmine, you know I'm joking! Besides I need a break from your pregnancy too," I said causing her to give me an odd look.

"What's that supposed to mean, James!" she asked to catch an attitude.

I was thinking about answering truthfully, but I didn't feel like getting the cold shoulder or having petty moments with her. Jazmine is known for going low with her insults and making you feel guilty.

"It's nothing, it's a joke!" I lied.

"Mhmm, just a joke!" she said not buying my lie.

"Yes a joke, don't take it seriously, Jazz," I said. She rolled her eyes at me and grabbed the lighter. She set a strawberry cupcake in front of Huelene and a chocolate cupcake in front of Nicholas.

"Get the camera ready," she said. I started to focus the camera on the twins and push the recording button.

Jazmine lit the candle on the cupcakes before looking up at me.

"You ready?" she asked as I held my thumb up.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you!" she started to sing.

"Happy Birthday dear Nicholas and Huelene, Happy Birthday to you!" I joined in. She started to clap in the end when Nicholas and Huelene got done blowing their candles.

"Yayyy, my babies are one-year-olds!" she said excitedly.

I smiled as I kept recording. She was giving them kisses on the cheek as they played and ate their cupcakes.

By the time they were done, they were a mess. They had icing on their face, and hands, and a little in their hair. We had to take them out of their high chairs and get them ready for bed.

I cleaned up the area while Jazmine was giving them baths. When I was done wiping everything down, I went upstairs to the twin's nursery to see Jazmine putting the twins to sleep.

Jazmine watched as they slept peacefully in their cribs. I couldn't help but admire how much of a good mother she was. She and the others didn't think she was qualified to be a mother but I thought she was a good mother.

They didn't see Jazmine the way I did. She made sure to make the twins feel special, catch their moments, enjoy the little things, have them spend time together, love and nurture them, and fulfill their duties as a mother. She made mistakes but every mother does that.

I walked up behind her and wrapped my hands around her waist. I started to kiss her cheek and then go down to her neck.

"James, that's ticklish!" she giggled.

"And we're in front of the twins," she pointed out. I looked to see if it was awkward to do it in front of the twins. They were sleeping, but it felt wrong!

"We can take this to the bedroom," I suggested.

"And do what exactly?" she questioned.

I slid one of my hands down to her lady part.

"Ohh!" she said, surprised.

"We can keep it quiet!" I whispered. I was hoping she would give in. I've been horny for quite some-time, but I didn't want to tell Jazmine. Usually, when you ask for sex, 9 times out of 10 you get an immediate 'no'.

"Okay!" she surprisingly answered. Or 9 times out of 10 they say 'yes'.

"Okay, yes, or okay, no?" I asked to be sure. I didn't want to get my hopes up.

"I mean okay, yes, but we have to be quiet!" she said. I smirked at her comment because that is the total opposite she does.

"Jazz, when have you ever been quiet? You woke up the twins a couple of times when we did do it," I snickered. I wasn't kidding when I asked her that question. Whenever Jazmine and I have intercourse, she is not the quietest person on the block. She thinks she's quiet, but she isn't.

"Well, Dr. Anderson, I wouldn't be so loud if you didn't do it so well," she said. I smirked at her compliment and I was getting ever more turned on.

"Well, Ms. DuBois, I can show you how professional I am if you meet me in my bedroom," I said biting her ear. She started to laugh a little bit.

"I'll meet you in there in a little bit. I'm enjoying watching the twins sleeping," she said.

"They do look cute!"

"They are, aren't they!" she adored.

"I wish it could be just like this all the time!" she sighed. I felt my heart skip a beat due to being nervous. "You, me, Huelene, and Nicholas as one big family! I'm glad you decided to stay in West Virginia and work on things between us," she sweetly spoke. She started to kiss me on the cheek and I felt as if I was leading her on in a sense.

I had to tell her, right now!

"Yeah, about that," I said backing away. "I need to talk to you in private."

She had given me an odd look and said: "Okay."

I grabbed her soft hand, and lead her out of the nursery and to my bedroom.

This was going to be hard to say.


"Jazmine wasn't a bad mother! She loved Nicholas and Huelene to death. Sure, you had her mistakes, but every parent goes through that. What Ebony said is bullshit because she was always breathing down Jazmine's neck like a virus. Didn't give her the space she needed to adjust to things. Every parent isn't perfect and that's something she didn't understand," James exclaimed.

"You wanna know how bad it got? It got so bad to the point when Jazmine was in the hospital the last month before she died, Ebony didn't see her because she knew she was driving Jazmine and herself crazy!" James lastly spoke.

Huey remembered when Ebony admitted that she felt as if she was the cause of Jazmine's stress. She couldn't handle Jazmine accepting death and she needed to separate herself from her. Ebony loved Jazmine with all her heart and she would do anything to prevent Jazmine from dying. Sadly, she couldn't control Jazmine's fate as she wanted the others!

Ebony could only accept the fate that was in store for Jazmine. In the end, she didn't get to properly cope with Jazmine's death. She didn't get to say goodbye or end on good terms with her. The last thing they did was argue about her acceptance of death. It pained Ebony when she felt Jazmine was giving up on life.

Huey was relieved he didn't get to see Jazmine in pain as the others did, but he wish he was by her side. It would have hurt him, but he would have been there by her side as the other times.


When Jazmine and I were in elementary, Jazmine was known for being a naive girl. It made it easier for kids to tease her. I like Jazmine as a friend, but I used to hate how she didn't have a backbone. She only started to have one when she went through puberty and was growing into a woman. That started happening the summer before we started high school.

Back to the story, Jazmine would normally get herself in a bundle growing up. I would always be the first person she would come to when something happened. It could be the most reasonable or unreasonable thing, regardless, I would still be there.

One day, I was outside mowing my Grandad's yard due to Uncle Ruckus not showing up for the third time in a row. My Grandad got tired of getting letters from the community about his yard, so he put the responsibility on me to mow his lawn.

I didn't mind mowing the grass, but I didn't like how Riley couldn't help. I thought it was unfair that I had to go mow the whole yard but not Riley. Since he was allergic to grass and had allergies, my Grandad didn't want him outside as much.

It was understandable to a certain extent. Riley knew he couldn't do as much outside work and he knew I hated going outside in the heat. What he would do is get a cold drink of Kool-Aid and watch me mow the lawn from inside.

I would go 0 to 100 real quick!

Sometimes I wish my Grandad would catch him in the act. My Grandad would come outside to help mow the lawn, but once he got tired he would go back inside the house and call it a day.

Leaving me to mow the lawn by myself!

If we were in Chicago, back at our old house, I wouldn't mind mowing the lawn and picking up the grass. We had a small area, so mowing the grass didn't take as long. When we moved to Woodcrest in that big house, the field was bigger and it took a while to mow the lawn and clean up afterwards.

As you could guess, I was outside for a while!

This was sixth-grade year and I was outside in some jeans and a white wife beater mowing the lawn. I was minding my own business until all of a sudden I saw a glimpse of strawberry blond hair running down the street.

"The fuck!" I mumbled.

When I looked closely, I had seen it was Jazmine who was dressed in her girls' scout uniform running down the street. She was running as if she was being chased by a dog. It shocked me that she was running because I have never seen Jazmine run so hard a day in my life. I had known her for almost a year and there was never a reason for her to run like that.

"Huey!" she yelled.

I gave my attention to the situation. I looked further behind Jazmine to see a group of white girls in girl scout uniforms running after Jazmine. What the hell did she do?

"Huey, help me!" she yelled. She made it to my property and ended up running in the grass to get behind me.

The girls were almost to my house, and out of fear, Jazmine grabbed my hand and dragged me to the front of my door. She opened it herself as the girls ran onto my property. Before they could get to us, Jazmine and I made it inside the house in time.

She locked the door as fast as she could. They were kicking and banging on the door screaming: "Come out you fucking Mut!"

"We know you're in there with that nigga!"

"You enter into our territory and sell stuff on our block, you suffer the consequences!"

"Come out and stop being a pussy!"

"C-Murph is going to deal with you if you don't come out of this fucking house!" they yelled referring to Cindy Murphy.

"Jazmine!" I said as she looked at me, scared.

"Yes?" she asked about to cry.

"Why are they chasing you?" I asked, concerned.

"I was selling girl scout cookies on Cindy's block and stealing most of her customers, and I ended up winning the sell," she cried.

"And, what happened next?" I exclaimed.

"One of Cindy's customers slipped the word to one of her minions, and they apparently caught me selling cookies, and they ended up chasing me. I had to get somewhere safe and my parents aren't home to let me in, but I saw you and came to your house," she lastly spoke.

"Jazmine..." I sighed, "You know how Cindy is...why would you go on her side knowing that she beats other girl scouts up?"

"I thought it was a joke...Cindy seems like a nice girl," Jazmine explained. I gave her a funny look because no way she thought Cindy Murphy a.k.a C-Murph was a nice girl. She was the female version of Riley and in my opinion, was 2x worse than him.

"A joke!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, she acts like Riley and Riley never does anything. He's more bark and no bite!" she said.

"Well, you can clearly see she is the complete opposite," I grumbled.

"I can see that now! Can you call the police and make them go away?" she pleaded.

No, that's the worst way to ask for help. The police aren't going to do shit!

We're a black family living in a white neighborhood, they're going to think we're the problem.

Overall, I don't want the cops coming to my house. I have never been fond of them and today is not going to change my mind.

"What, no, I have a better way," I smirked.

"What would that be?" she asked, confused.

"You'll see!" I said grabbing a hair tie in my pocket. I tied up my afro before attempting to unlock the door.

Jazmine stopped me and said, "Huey, don't go out there and do the Karate Kid on them. You'll hurt them," she screamed.

The Karate Kid? I didn't know what to be more offended by the fact that she compared me to Ralph Macchio or that she really thought I was going to hit these girls.

"What the hell, I wasn't going to kick them! I was just going to open the door and tell them to leave," I said.

"And leave a way for them to get into the house? I don't think so," she exclaimed.

"Then what do you suggest we do?" I asked awaiting her answer. I was open to suggestions, but I had a feeling she didn't know herself. Jazmine is known for trying to make peace and not putting anyone in harm. I understand she doesn't want anyone to get hurt, but she can't walk out of this unharmed because Cindy's minions are trying to beat her up.

In this case, she should fight fire with fire. I know it creates more fire but at some point, someone is going to want to stop spreading the gas.

"Maybe hide or make peace," she suggested.

I scowled at Jazmine because I don't know why she would even suggest that.

"No!" I simply answered

"What, why?" she exclaimed.

"Because they're not going to leave unless you get them to leave, and talking about it is not going to do it," I explained.

"Oh, yeah, then what do you have suggested?" she asked.

This debate brought Jazmine and me to the top of my roof wearing hair ties and tear gas masks. I had a bag full of tear gas that I was about to drop.

Jazmine was watching me, scared that I was going to follow through with my plan.

"Huey, are you serious?" she sternly asked.

"Do you want them and Cindy to leave you alone?" I asked as she nodded.

"Then I have to throw this tear gas at them to send them a message," I explained.

I was about to drop the tear gas until she tried to hold my arm down.

"No Huey, don't do it! You're going to make them cry," she said tearing up.

"Jazmine!" I said pitching the bridge of my nose. She was getting on my last nerves. "I'm not going to hurt their eyes. They're going to be perfectly fine! Just a bit teary!"

"Then don't do it!" she said trying to force my arm down.

"What do you want me to do then?" I exclaimed.

"Place a stink bomb instead, not something that'll make them cry" she cried.

"Jazmine it's going to be the same thing," I argued. We soon started to tussle around with the tear gas in my hand. It got to the point, my grip of the tear gas was loosening and it ended up rolling out of my hand.

Since we are on a roof, it ended up rolling down to the front door where the girls were at. We both looked to the side and then rushed to the end of the roof to see the gas let loose. The girls started to cough, scream, holler, and cry. They soon ran away from my house and started to curse and threaten Jazmine. Saying they would get her at school!

Not on my watch!

I looked to see a relieved Jazmine as she took a breather. "You're welcome!" I said getting up and heading towards the exit on the roof.

...

In the summer of 1986, Jazmine left for cheerleading camp at the beginning of the summer. That left no one to annoy me for the next seven days.

I know you're wondering if I still had a crush on Jazmine around this time, and the answer was no. I thought Jazmine blossomed into a beautiful woman and it was obvious everybody found her attractive, but I didn't see us dating at the time.

I came to the realization that the little crush I had on Jazmine only lasted in elementary school. My views started to change along with Jazmine's and she had a type and I had a type. Then on top of that, our personalities were never a good mix, in my opinion. She was happy, naive, and a crybaby. While I on the other hand was into politics, for my people, and I had seen the truth of how society truly was.

In simple words, we had different views!

I started to notice a year ago that we were slowly getting out of contact with each other. Sure, we lived across the street from each other and we also attended the same school, but we didn't talk as much as we used to.

When I first moved to Woodcrest, Jazmine used to come over to my house and try to hang out with me all the time. Since our parents were good friends, I had to get used to knowing Jazmine. Around that time, Jazmine considered us best friends, but I didn't think we were that close. I considered her more of an acquaintance.

Later on, we were good friends, but nothing more. She wasn't close to me like my best friends Caesar and Hiro. We had a relationship like my Grandad and Tom.

Jazmine was the one who always made an attempt to talk to me. I was very closed off at times so I didn't blame her for giving up on keeping contact with me.

When we were at school, we had our own group of friends we talked to. Plus she talked to people I didn't like and vice versa. As you can see, we kept our distance if it didn't involve a family gathering.

Don't get me wrong, Jazmine was a good person, but she did occasionally annoy me with her beliefs and behavior. I think maturity took part in that along the way.

A week had gone by and it was odd not to have her around. She was always uplifting everybody's mood. Caesar and Hiro missed her since they would normally stop by her house when she was out and about or at the park with all the other kids. Even Riley missed her a little bit since he liked to mess with her. With Cindy and Jazmine being the best of friends, Riley was usually around the two because of Cindy. But he warmed up to Jazmine after a while and treated her like a big sister that he liked to occasionally tease. It wasn't as bad as he did me!

I found myself missing her but I didn't want to admit that!

When Jazmine did come back from cheer camp something bad had happened to her. Apparently, on the last day when they were working on routines that required flyers, which happened to be something that Jazmine did in cheer, the routine did not go so well. It was an epic fail that lead to Jazmine falling and not landing the right way. She sprung her ankle and had to go to the trainer.

She was going to have to be on bed rest for a week or two before she could try to walk around again. When my Grandad heard from Tom about Jazmine's injury he forced Riley and me to go over to the house to check on her.

Riley decided to go with Cindy since she was over there half the time. Hiro and Caesar went to visit which left me as the last one to go see Jazmine.

I felt uncomfortable because I didn't know how I was going to make conversation with her as the others did. They all stayed over there for at least 90 minutes before heading home. I could do up to an hour and then go home. The question was what would we do or talk about while I was over there? I wasn't a good conversationalist and Jazmine and I didn't have much in common.

So it would be awkward!

When I eventually did go over to her house, I got her a 'Get Well' teddy bear. I was at her doorstep ringing her doorbell as I awaited for Sarah to answer. To my surprise, Sarah didn't answer, it was Tom who I thought would be at work.

"Hey Huey!" he excitedly spoke.

"Hey, Mr. DuBois!" I greeted back.

"Are you here to see Jazmine?" he asked as I nodded. He stepped aside to let me in.

"She's upstairs in her room with her mother," he pointed as I walked into the house. He closed the door behind me as I started to head upstairs to her room. Mr. DuBois wasn't the type to get mad about Jazmine having boys in her room. As long as she had her door open and he and Sarah were present in the household they were fine with it.

That was fair since it set trust between the two. When I made it up the long steps to Jazmine's room, the door was of course opened, and Jazmine was laying on her bed with her leg propped up. Sarah was next to her making sure everything was alright with Jazmine.

When I looked around Jazmine's room she had bouquets of flowers, teddy bears, 'Get Well' cards, and balloons. Damn, all of this for a sprung ankle! I looked down at my hands to see I had a teddy bear that was no better than me. I did bring it as a matter of respect but I guess that's what the rest did as well.

I knocked on the side of Jazmine's door to alert her and Mrs. DuBois who looked up at me.

"Huey!" Jazmine exclaimed, perking up a bit.

"You finally came, I was wondering when you were going to show," she said with her tone filled with happiness. I didn't think she would expect me to come.

"I came to check on you and pay my respects," I said holding up the teddy bear.

"That is so cute, Huey!" Sarah gleamed.

"You can put it with the rest of the teddy bears on the side," Sarah pointed to the big pile of teddy bears.

"Okay," I said walking to the big pile and placing my small teddy bear on top of a big one. I'm not going to lie, I feel I did the bare minimum compared to the others.

"I'll give the two of you some alone time so you can talk and catch up," Sarah lastly spoke before leaving the room.

"Okay!" I heard Jazmine say.

Oh Lord, here comes the awkward silence!

I turned to look at Jazmine who couldn't stop smiling at me.

"So, Huey, how have you been?" she asked as I shrugged my shoulders.

"I've been chilling," I said.

"That's cool!" she said nodding her head.

"Yeah," I said feeling the awkwardness taking over.

"Do you want to take a seat?" she asked.

"Where?" I asked looking to see the only available seat was her chair that had teddy bears on top of it.

"You can sit next to me on my bed," she suggested.

"Are you?" I asked to be sure. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries and be in Jazmine's bed. Sure, Tom let boys into her room but I don't think he wanted any of them in her bed.

"Yeah, my parents wouldn't mind, since there are a bunch of teddy bears in the seat," she assured. I at least wanted to sit in the chair so I can remain an appropriate distance from her. I would remove the teddy bears but I didn't want to upset Sarah since she was very organized.

But if her parents were okay with me being in her bed then I guess I could settle for the bed, "Okay then!"

I walked to the other side of the bed to sit next to Jazmine who was still laying in her bed. Her pillows and comforter were very comfortable. I almost wanted to fall asleep just sitting up.

"So, what happened here?" I asked referring to her injury.

"Routine that went wrong! The girls didn't catch me after I was let down and my ankle ended up sprung," she said a little upset.

"How many weeks are you supposed to rest?" I asked.

"I'm supposed to be resting for at least 2 weeks and then try to start walking around without my crutches," she sighed.

"Are you going to be okay by the time we have to leave for summer camp again?" I asked. This upcoming July, we are supposed to be going to a summer camp all our parents signed us up for. Jazmine and Cindy normally go every year, but ever since their parents passed the idea onto my Grandad and Caesar and Hiro's parents, they've all been deadset on getting us to leave for the summer.

They're usually cheap about everything they spend their money on, but to get rid of us for a week, they were willing to waste money on that. I didn't want to go since I had better things to do than to sit at a camp and sing and dance. That wasn't my type of fun, but my Grandad was forcing Riley and me to go.

"Yeah, I should definitely be okay by then," she said, "I can't wait for summer camp!"

"Really?" I asked as she nodded.

"I love going every year, it gives me a chance to be away from Woodcrest," she said which took me by surprise.

"Excuse me!" I said looking at her.

"What?" she asked feeling mistaken.

"You want to get away from Woodcrest?" I asked.

"Yeah, I don't always like to be here. If I get a chance to leave, I will! Plus my dad and mom's side of the family like to pop in occasionally during the summer and I don't like to be around any of them," Jazmine said as her tone changed to disgust when she mentioned her family.

"Why's that?" I asked, curious. This was the first time I heard Jazmine talk about someone she didn't like and I was eager to hear the reason.

"Because..." she said as she was thinking, "It's hard to explain, but they're weird and they make me uncomfortable."

"Plus it's obvious they don't like my parents. My dad's side doesn't like my mom because she's white and my mom's side doesn't like my dad because he's black. Half of the time, I don't understand why they come over if they can't respect us. Then on top of that, some of them especially my cousin overstep their limit," she fussed.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked as she was taken aback.

"Just you know, doing stuff they shouldn't be doing," she awkwardly spoke.

"Yeah, like what?" I asked as she took a deep breath and looked a little sad.

"Um, you know, invading my personal space, annoying me, and just being a plain asshole," she cursed.

Oh shit, Jazmine cursed for the very first time! He must really get on her nerves if he has Jazmine cursing.

"Plus, I feel my family in general doesn't have respect for me. They say they love me, but I'm always getting discriminated against by them because I'm an aspect of my parents. For instance, when I'm on my dad's side they say I'm too white and when I'm on my mom's side they say I'm too black. I sometimes find my mom's side of the family trying to straighten my hair while my dad's side tries to darken my tone by putting makeup that's not my skin tone," she explained.

"Damn, that's fucked up!" I exclaimed. I never knew Jazmine was going through something like this with her family. I knew it happened at school but not with her own family.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"It's okay if it makes you feel any better, I don't like seeing my side of the family either," I said as she gave me an odd look.

"Why's that? Is it because of what happened at the funeral with that boy who head-butted you?" she asked as I sighed at the memory of Cairo head-butting me. That's something I don't want people to remember. My case would be easier if Riley didn't go around telling people I got headbutted by him.

"No, not exactly...it was more because they felt we turned on our own kind by moving to Woodcrest which they refer to as Whitecrest," I explained.

"My Grandad didn't want us in the streets and dying at a young age. That's what happened to most of the kids that were around our age. If we continued to stay there we would have ended up in the grave alongside our parents. My Grandad couldn't go through something like that again, so he moved us out here where he knew we could be safe, but for some odd reason my family and neighbors had an issue with that," I continued.

"That sounds messed up," she said.

"It is," I mumbled.

"I have a question?" she asked.

"What's up?"

"Whatever happened to your mom's side of the family? You always mention your dad's side of the family but never your mom's," she asked.

"I never mention them because I don't know much about them. According to my Aunt Cookie, my mom's side of the family cut her off when she was pregnant with me and engaged to my dad," I simply explained.

"Them dropping her like that let me know all I needed to know about them," I lastly spoke.

"Oh wow!" Jazmine sadly said.

"Do you ever wonder where you get your other qualities from?" she asked as I shook my head.

"I get most of my qualities from my dad. I look exactly like him and my Grandad, I just have a different hairstyle," I said pointing out the difference.

"Yeah, you all look alike! I thought you and Riley were twins when I first met the two of you," she said as I started to laugh.

"Me and Riley?" I exclaimed.

"Yes, the two of you look as if you could be twins, it's just the hairstyles and personalities that set the two of you apart," she said as I started to think about it.

"You might be right," I mumbled.

"No, I know I am right!" she corrected me. I started to chuckle at her immediate response.

"I only question the qualities because I sometimes wonder who you get your dry tone from," she said.

Dry tone?

"Wow!" I exclaimed as we both started laughing. "You think I have a dry tone," I said as we continued to laugh.

"Not in an offensive way...it's just because Mr. Freeman and Riley seem to be outgoing and immature while you're outgoing but you're mature, you know?" she asked breaking it down for me.

"If you want me to be honest, I don't know where I get it from. I rarely had seen any seriousness in my dad unless it had to do with our people and politics. He, my grandad, and Riley all act alike in some form of way. I see it a little bit in myself but not a lot. I don't like to show it off to others," I explained.

"I can tell, and what about your mom, what was she like?" Jazmine asked.

"My mom," I said thinking about her. As the years went by I started to slowly forget some of my moms' qualities. The only time I would remember was when Jazmine would do something that would spark a nerve. It had me thinking of her and how she was.

From what I remember, she was very sweet, caring, always had big dreams, was very smart, active, and saw the good in a lot of people. Sounded a lot like Jazmine!

"You surprisingly remind me a lot about her," I said surprising Jazmine.

"It's easy to remember what my dad was like because of Riley and my Grandad, but my mom, I rarely get a few memories of her," I spoke.

"What about your mom do you see in me?" she asked.

This was going to be hard to admit because I don't think I ever intentionally had given Jazmine a verbal compliment from the heart, but here goes nothing: "You're very sweet, caring, ambitious, smart, outgoing, and you always treat people the way you want to be treated!"

"Really, I never knew you saw all of that within me," she said, surprised.

"I mean yeah, I just don't say it as much," I admitted.

"Oh, I thought it was because you didn't like me as much...you know since we sort of lost contact with one another this past year. I thought I made you upset," she said.

Oh shit!

"About that, I apologize for closing you off. You've always tried to keep in contact with me and I was being an asshole by ignoring it," I apologized.

"I accept your apology, but why did you do it?" she asked as I sighed.

"I don't know, it just felt as if we were growing apart when we entered middle school, and we were going into our separate groups of friends and finding our own identity," I explained.

"I understand, but I want you to know I don't see you any different, and no identity or certain groups of friends will come between our friendship. Sure, we might not have the same views but I feel opposites attract in a situation like this. I feel Cindy, Riley, Caesar, and Hiro don't have much in common but we're all still good friends because we have our differences that bring us together," she explained.

"Yeah, you're right!" I admitted as she smiled.

"Now, back to the conversation, are you ready for your first summer camp?" she asked, changing the topic. I snickered at her and shook my head once again.

"I'm not eager about it, but I guess with you guys there might be fun," I said looking on the bright side.

"See, that's the spirit you have to have when you're attending things like this," she said nudging my shoulder.

I couldn't help but feel happy the whole time I was talking to Jazmine. Instead of staying one hour as I planned, I ended up staying until the streetlights came on, meaning I had to return home for dinner.

I returned almost every day to sit down and talk with Jazmine and we would talk for hours. Turns out we had a lot more in common than I expected of us. Then on top of that, our different perspectives had us have an open mindset on things.

Slowly, I was regaining feelings for Jazmine, and also becoming more than just good friends with her. We would take walks around the neighborhood and sometimes go to the park so she could get used to walking on her ankle.

I would have to say this summer had brought Jazmine and me closer than before.

...

After the party when Jazmine and I had our first kiss and before we had our first date, we had a talk. When almost a week passed by without us saying a word to each other or even encountering, it was putting me in distress.

I wanted to talk to her after all that had happened. Every time I approached her at school she would walk in the opposite direction of me to avoid contact. I didn't know what her deal was but I hated getting the silent treatment from Jazmine.

She usually did it when she was upset with me. I didn't feel she would be upset with me over a kiss that we both clearly initiated. I thought the feeling of enjoyment was mutual, but I guess I was wrong.

I felt bad that our relationship was being tainted due to this kiss. If I knew this is the way she was going to react I would have never done it. But if I didn't go in for the kiss it was going to be one-sided which would have made her look like the fool for making the first one.

I think regardless of how it would have gone we still would have ended up like this. Eventually, we're going to have to sit and talk about this because she can't go the rest of high school ignoring me. Our families and friends are very close so there is no escaping a conversation with me if we get to that point.

I was at home laying in my bed still wide awake. It was a Saturday night and I still haven't managed to go to sleep. My Grandad was in the room asleep and Riley had snuck out to go to Cindy's place.

This left me having deep thoughts about a certain someone who was ignoring me. It made me feel anxious at this point. How was I going to approach her if I couldn't get myself together? I don't want her to know how I was feeling. As soon as Jazmine knows I felt some type of way that when she likes to tease me.

So, how do I approach the situation without seeming desperate?

I could write a letter, no, that's desperate!

I could go outside and play music, no, that's corny!

I could climb up her window, no, that's creepy and invasive!

Or, I could pull her to the side and talk about it. Yeah, that seems like the perfect way to approach it. Unless it will look desperate!

Oh my God, this was too much to think about. It would be so much easier if she came to me. She's the main one who's running away from talking about the situation, it might just be best to wait for her to cool down from what happened at the party and then talk.

Yeah, that sounds better than the last plan!

I was about to go to sleep since I was getting pretty tired and stuck in the situation between Jazmine and me.

My eyes started to drift away until I was distracted by a bright light coming through my window. I started tiredly to get out of bed and head to my window to see Jazmine flashing a light through her window.

She's trying to see if I'm awake and if she could come over. This might be my chance to talk to her about what happened at the party.

I quickly went to grab my flashlight off my nightstand and start flashing it back at Jazmine. I was clicking my light on and off as she started to do the same thing.

It was a weird Morse code thing we did to communicate. I don't know how I understand the flashlight but for some odd reason, I do. Jazmine's light had turned completely off, meaning she was on her way over.

I started to head downstairs to let her in through the front door. On most occasions, I would let her in through my window, the back door, or the garage, but since my Grandad was asleep, letting her in through the front door was easier.

I made sure to be as quiet as possible going down the stairs not wanting to wake my Grandad. When I made it down the steps, I knocked on the twice, and I heard a knock back, letting me know Jazmine was on the other side.

I unlocked the door to let her in. She had on her pink hoodie and shorts: her favorite color. I don't understand why she can never wear all black knowing she can easily be spotted in pink.

I held my finger to my mouth as I opened the door for her. I closed it behind her as she started to quietly head upstairs. I followed behind her as she tiptoed.

She better be lucky our house is stable because if it wasn't then there would have been a bunch of squeaking. When we made it to my bedroom without waking my Grandad, I shut the door behind me and looked directly at Jazmine.

"So, what's the reason this time?" I automatically asked. Whenever Jazmine came over to spend a night at my house, there was always something happening at her house or with her. For instance, if she watched a scary movie, her family members came over, Tom's occasional snores, her parents doing it, etc.

"I was at Cindy's house last night and we watched a scary movie," she whispered.

Scary movie, that happened most of the time. Jazmine is the prime example of a scary cat, and I don't understand why she chooses to watch scary movies knowing she is going to be scared.

"Which one was it?" I asked.

"Freddy Krueger!" she said with fear plastered on her face.

"Of course!" I mumbled.

"Shut up, you and I know he's scary," she said as I almost wanted to smoke.

"I don't think he's scary, I think it's just a man who has a lot of makeup on," I sarcastically said making her roll her eyes. I normally messed with her about some of the people she found scary.

For instance, Michael Myers, I don't see how a guy who wears a mask is scary. Most of that stuff is fake.

"I can't even with you...I really need to sleep here tonight because I feel like he's going to get me in my dreams," she said as I sighed. She always thinks he gone kill her and the guy doesn't even exist.

"Okay!" I tiredly spoke, heading to my side of the bed. I got in while Jazmine got on the other side.

We started to lay beside each other in silence. I wanted to go to sleep, but that was hard since Jazmine was next to me. I had been wanting to talk about what happened at the party and now was the perfect time to ask her. She wasn't going to be going to sleep any time soon.

"Hey, Jazz?" I softly said her name.

"Yeah, Huey?" she said focusing her attention on me.

"Are you mad at me because of what happened at the party?" I asked her. There was silence for a second which was too long for me. "Look, I'm sorry about kissing without consent, I thought we were feeling each other at the party," I apologized. Maybe I was in the wrong! It was better to clear the air and admit to my doings.

"Huey," she sighed, "I'm not mad at you. I'm actually happy and scared about what happened," she admitted.

"What, why?" I tiredly asked as she turned to face me.

"Because I love you!" she said dropping the 'L Bomb' on me. "In a more than just friends way," she explained as I felt my chest pumping. I was flattered by her response but I didn't know how to respond to it. Jazmine had caught me off guard with what she just admitted.

How do I respond to this? I love her too, but I didn't know how to tell her since I felt tongue-tied at the moment.

"Oh!" I said.

"Look, I understand if you don't feel the same way, but I just needed to tell you because there's no taking back what happened at that party," she sadly spoke.

"And I'm sorry for ruining our friendship this way, I hope nothing changes and we can still hang around each other as we always do," she said in hope.

I couldn't let her keep thinking this way because I felt the same way about her. I leaned in towards Jazmine and kissed her on the lips once again: our second kiss!

When I departed from her, I looked to see that she was in shock: "Huey!"

"Jazz," I said looking her in the eyes and saying, "I love you too!"

"I've always loved you since we were kids," I admitted.

"Really?" she said in disbelief. "Why did you say anything before?" she asked.

"I don't know, I thought you wouldn't feel the same about me and I didn't want to make things awkward," I explained.

"Oh!" she softly said. "I felt the same way," she admitted.

I smiled at her as she smiled back in relief.

"How do we go about this? I don't think we can remain just friends after this," she said, confused.

"We don't have to remain friends...we can try giving dating a shot," I suggested.

"But what if it doesn't go right?" she said in fear.

"Then it doesn't, we can work on our friendship and get out of the awkward stage. But we can also try dating because what if works out in the end," I said with hope.

She started to think about this and looked up at me in confidence, "Okay, we can try it!"

I smirked at her response and finally asked, "Good, so would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?"

She smiled at my question and nodded her head, "I would be happy to go on a date with you Huey Freeman!"

And that's how it all came to be, with our first date!

...

Around the time when Jazmine and I moved into our house, we had to get used to the house and the neighborhood. I could sadly say we lived in the ghetto. There were a bunch of things to stay away from around here and Jazmine was too naive to understand that on most occasions.

Since we didn't have much to do due to everything costing money, Jazmine and I would take time out of our day to take walks with each other. It was one of the most relaxing parts of my day.

I got to walk around the neighborhood with her and get a feel for the place. It would occasionally catch me when we were on the good side of the neighborhood, but the bad side was questionable.

I didn't want Jazmine anywhere near the area because I didn't want anything bad to happen to us. Jazmine knew to stay away from the area, but she worried me with other things such as animals, specifically dogs. Jazmine was a huge animal lover and nothing would stop her from trying to pat a dog.

There were very few dogs around the neighborhood that she could pat. The others were aggressive and mean. For some odd reason, she couldn't catch onto that when they would bark, beat against the fence, and be warned by their owners. They would leave a 'Beware' sign on their fence and she still wouldn't take a hint to not mess around with the dogs.

I'm high the majority of the time I'm walking down the street and I'm still aware not to go anywhere near those dogs. I have told Jazmine more than three times to stay away from those dogs hoping she would listen.

But knowing her she ignored every single warning I gave her.

She proved my point when I let her go walking down the street by herself one day. I was tired from work and decided to sit on the front porch and take a smoke break. Jazmine let me know that she was going to walk around the block and then come back. I was okay with it since she was just going around the block.

I laid back in my seat to relax for the next fifteen minutes. I was enjoying my smoke break until I heard screaming coming out of nowhere. I sat up in my seat to see where the screaming was coming from. I looked into the distance to see it was Jazmine running from a Rottweiler.

The fuck!

This again?

The dog seemed to really be running after her. Jazmine was doing a good job of keeping a good distance from the dog. I sometimes wondered why she never ran track with this type of speed. She could have been really good at it too!

I snapped out of my thought process when I heard Jazmine screaming once again.

Oh shit, I better do something! I ran into the house to go look for my BB-Gun so I could shoot the dog. I wasn't going to kill the dog, but I was going to injure some part of his/her body. When I was able to retrieve it from the cushion of the couch, I ran back outside to catch Jazmine running toward our house.

Instead of running up the porch, she jumped over our fence that wasn't that high. She made it but she didn't land right the way on her foot. She ended up screaming due to landing on her bad ankle.

The dog was about to make an attempt to jump over the fence just as she did until I shot it in the leg multiple times. The rottweiler ended up screaming and hollering as I shot it multiple times and then it soon ran away from our house.

I glared at Jazmine who was crying from a hurt ankle.

"I told you not to mess with the goddamn dog, Jazmine" I scold. I put the BB-Gun in my pocket as I went to unlock the fence.

I went slowly lifted her off the ground and take her into the house as she continued to cry. When I put her on the couch, I went to go retrieve a bag of peas from the freezer.

I came back to the living room and put the bag of frozen peas on the table. I grabbed pillows that were set on the couch and put them under Jamzine's ankle.

"Huey, I'm sorry!" she cried.

"No, the fuck you not because I told you not once, not twice, not three, not four, but five fucking times to stay away from them damn dogs. Now you see why I tell you these things," I fussed.

"You did this to your own self! I hope you learn yo' goddamn lesson not to go mess with dogs that got 'Beware' on their fence," I lastly spoke before sitting down on the couch alongside her. I grabbed the frozen peas and set the bag on her ankle.

"Hss!" she hissed in pain.

"You see how stupidity hurts," I said being a smartass.

"Okay, you don't have to rub it in, I learned my lesson," she hollered back.

I glared at her as she crossed her arms and laid back on the couch. I turned on the tv to some random show to keep my mind off the situation. I was going to help her get better, but she didn't need to go get injured like this.

...

Before Jazmine had left me, she was showing signs of being sick, and she kept distancing herself from me. I assumed she had food poisoning because she kept vomiting, complaining about stomach pain, and practically staying in the bathroom.

I suggested she should go to the doctor because it was starting to get out of hand. I was getting worried about her health and I know going to the doctor isn't cheap, so I gave her money just in case her coworkers charged her for the checkup. I didn't think they should because she worked there. The least they could do is give her an employee discount.

I would have gone with her but I had to be at work. Knowing Jazmine was going to have to rest, I was putting in extra hours to make ends meet. My boss was giving me a little bit of a raise to the point I was earning the same amount as Jazmine. It was a little easier to pay for rent and bills. I was starting to properly save for when we go to college.

When I did get home from work, Jazmine was in bed resting. I bought her some food and medication from the store to make her feel better. I didn't know what got rid of food poisoning but Jazmine did need to eat. I haven't seen her eat much today and I didn't want her going to bed hungry.

I got her some veggie soup so it could calm down her stomach.

I walked into our room to see she was laying down in deep thought.

"Hey Jazz," I said getting her attention.

"Hey Hue," she tiredly spoke sitting up in bed.

"You feeling any better?" I asked setting the soup on her nightstand.

"No, not really," she answered.

"Did the doctors or nurses tell you what was wrong with you?" I asked. She looked too stunned to speak as I awaited her response.

"It's um food poisoning," she answered.

"Oh, do you know where you got it from?" I asked.

"I have a feeling I got it from the leftovers from the banquet a couple of weeks ago. I ate some spaghetti with peanut butter on the side two days ago," she said making me want to puke at the choice of food.

"Together?" I questioned, disgusted.

"Yeah, it was pretty good, you should try it," she said as I shook my head.

"I'm good," I declined. "You must be close to starting your period if you're having cravings like this and your stomach is hurting," I guessed.

"Yeah, there's no telling what a menstrual cycle could do to your body," she said.

"Yeah, I agree, but I don't want it getting out of control. If something happens let me know," I said.

"Okay," she assured.

"You need me to do anything while you're resting?" I asked as she started to think about it.

"Yes," she said as I waited for her response.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Can you rub my belly while we're cuddling?" she asked sounding like a baby.

"Yeah, sure, just let me go take a shower and I'll be in bed with you," I said getting up from the bed.

"Okay," she said grabbing her cup of soup. She started to eat while I grabbed my clothes to go take a shower. It took me less than ten minutes to get in and get out. After rubbing lotion on my body, washing my face, and getting dressed, I was ready to get in bed with Jazmine.

Hopefully, she wasn't asleep. When I opened the door, I had seen her wide awake and almost finished with the soup I got her.

"I'm done," I announced as she looked at me sweetly.

"Okay, get in!" she said patting my spot as I got under the covers with her. I felt relaxed because I had been at work all day and to come home to lay in bed felt comfortable. I was finally off my feet for the day.

Jazmine lay down and turned to her side of the bed. I did the same and wrapped my arm around her body.

"Is this okay?" I asked.

"Um, more like this," she said putting my hand on her belly. I started to rub her tummy as she relaxed into my touch.

"That feel better?" I asked.

"Yeah," she mumbled.

"Thank you, Huey! Today hasn't been easy and I'm glad you're here to clear my worries," she said as I smiled.

"No problem, but you know this is my job and promise to you as your future husband, right?" I assured.

"Yeah," she tiredly spoke.

"Promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life," I promised.

"Yeah, I can't wait to announce those vows," she said, sleepy.

"Yeah, me too!" I said excited about our upcoming appointment. We were finally going to get married and we were only a couple of weeks away from being Mr & Mrs. Freeman. Then once we get financially stable and our job hours become more flexible, we can welcome a baby Freeman into the world. I knew how much Jazmine wanted to start a family and I was willing to give her one.

Not now, but later on when we were both ready to be parents. I think it's better for us to get used to being a married couple first before welcoming babies into the world. I can be patient, but I'm curious to see what our kids would look like in the future, or what their names would be.

If I have a boy, I want to name him Malcolm as a reference to Malcolm X. If a girl, I'm not sure yet! I'm thinking about naming her after my mother or letting Jazmine pick the name. I'm sure she has better options than I do. Or even name her after Jazmine. I think that would be cute!

I just couldn't wait to have that life with her!

As I was rubbing her belly, I pushed down a little too hard and I felt something hard in her belly.

What the fuck was that? It felt like a nut!

Could just be in my imagination, I'm pretty tired from work and I should get some sleep for tomorrow.


'I'm a dumbass for not noticing the signs,' Huey thought.

"What about you?" Huey asked.

"What do you mean, what about me?" James asked, confused.

"If Ebony couldn't handle Jazmine dying on her part, how did you cope with it?" Huey asked. "You knew as well as her what was going on with Jazmine," Huey pointed out.

"Not in the way you think I do. I was in the same boat as Ebony," James sighed. Huey looked confused because what did James mean by being in the same boat as Ebony? James leaned over with his face in his hands. He looked tired and broken from trying to get his words together.

Huey spotted a teardrop from James. It splashed on the floor.

James rose his head up and wiped his eyes. He looked to be taken back from his thought process as he was thinking about what to say.

"I thought she was okay...she made everything seem okay...but everything wasn't okay...and it took us all by surprise," James said, broken.


While Jazmine and I were co-parenting, we didn't engage in romance. Not in the way you think we did. Sure, there was the time we had seen each other for the first time in two months and we ended up kissing because we missed each other. William was disappointed in me because he thought I was giving in too early.

I thought I was until I didn't have the urge to be with Jazmine. I didn't think she was unattractive, I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. But after all that had happened to us, I think we should start from step one.

No, romantic interactions or sleeping together until we can rebuild our trust in each other. The last time when she was pregnant and we got together, it happened because we had sex in the dressing room and the gender reveals cupcakes. I didn't want to engage in it at first but I couldn't help myself.

This time will be different!

Jazmine and I will start off as friends and treat this co-parenting appropriately. I had noticed that every time we get together we're always having sex. That's something I would like to change between us because maybe lust isn't the best way to start a relationship.

We can one day start dating, but we need to take a break and heal ourselves before we get involved with each other again.

We had given it four months before we went on our first date. This happened in mid-September during her birthday week. Ebony and Nicole took her out to eat on Tuesday, which left me to take her out on Saturday.

I knew we were friends but I still wanted to treat her for her birthday. I made reservations downtown with all the fancy restaurants. I chose the place that had the most vegan options other than salad. She liked it but not like that. I wanted her to actually eat and enjoy her birthday.

We were coming up the elevator since we were on the top floor. The theme was a dark setting that had dimmed lights. I thought it was pretty sexy for a one-on-one date. Although it wasn't necessarily a date-date, more like a birthday dinner date.

Our table was close to the window where we could see a view of the city. Jazmine had a tight black dress on with some heels. She looked as if she was fin to go to the club but she was still sexy.

I think the baby weight was starting to come off of her. She started to have a thick form and her ass looked quite juicy

See, now I have to stop myself from having dirty thoughts. This night is about Jazmine and I don't want to ruin it with my dirty thoughts. We're doing good so far!

We made it to our table and I scooted Jazmine's seat out. She gladly sat down as I slid her in.

"Thank you!" she said.

"No problem, it's the gentle thing to do," I said as she smiled.

Jazmine started to look around at the place: "Wow!"

"You like it?" I asked to be sure.

"Yes, it's beautiful!" she complimented.

I'll pull out a small present from my jacket and put it on the table. Jazmine perked up at the present and smiled.

"Is that my birthday present?" she asked.

"Yes, indeed it is!" I smirked.

"Can I open it?" she politely asked.

"No, not yet! You can open it when we get done with dinner," I said looking at the menu.

"Okay, I'll be patient." She said before grabbing the menu. We both sat in silence as we looked at our options on the menus. I looked to see a ribeye with stuffed potatoes and broccoli on the side. That sounded like something more in my league, but I didn't want to make Jazmine uncomfortable. Since it was her birthday, I was going to find myself a vegan option instead of a meaty one.

I skimmed the menu over and over again until I could find a vegan option that I wanted. A lot of the other options are unfamiliar to me. I looked up at Jazmine to see if she had anything in mind. She was looking just as confused as I was.

Our waiter came with a notepad and pencil. When I looked at who was going to be catering to us, it looked to be a young girl around Jazmine's age.

"Hi, my name is Emma and I will be your waiter for tonight!" Emma said, introducing herself.

"Hi!" I waved. Jazmine gave her a little wave.

"Can I get you guys started with anything to drink?" She asked. I looked at Jazmine: "Is there anything specifically that you would want?"

Jazmine shrugged her shoulders and looked just as confused as me. "I'm not familiar with any of the drinks on the menu, so I'll just get lemonade," Jazmine said.

"Which lemonade?" Emma asked. This caused Jazmine to give her an odd look.

"What do you mean which lemonade? I mean regular," Jazmine emphasized.

"Well, we don't serve regular lemonade. We do in fact have sparkling, pink, blueberry, lavender, peach, pineapple, raspberry, orange, etc. amounts of lemonade." Emma named confusing Jazmine the longer she went on.

Jazmine looked at me for help! I knew she wanted regular lemonade so I answered, "She would like pink lemonade."

"Okay, and what would you like sir?" Emma asked writing down Jazmine's drink option.

"I would like sparkling water and for you to bring your finest wine," I requested as she wrote down my beverage option.

"Okay, coming right up!" Emma said before leaving. I had seen her look back and give me a flirtatious look. Jazmine noticed and shook her head in disappointment.

"Coming right up!" She mimicked under her breath.

"How do you have a drink that is practically Sprite but you don't have regular lemonade?" she said, talking to herself. "Then on top of that, she clearly gives you a flirtatious look knowing we're on a date." She fussed, making me feel flattered that she considered this a date instead of a birthday dinner.

"Are you perhaps jealous?" I smirked.

"No, I'm not jealous! I find it rude that she's staring at you knowing that we're on a date," Jazmine explained.

"Okay, but do you see me giving any attention to her?"

"Well, not exactly, but you did notice," she pointed out. "As did you, but I'm not giving her the attention you think I'm giving," I assured as she looked too stunned to speak.

I forgot how paranoid women got when other women were checking out their men. I have to remember the time Jazmine got jealous when one of my one-night stands called my work phone. We weren't together then but this was after we slept together.

"Well-" she tried to say before I cut her off, "Well, nothing, the more you show attention to her the more paranoid you get."

"If I'm letting you know I'm not showing attention to her then you shouldn't be worried about a woman who is looking at me while I'm out with you," I assured her as she sighed.

"Okay!" she said giving up.

Emma came back with a tray of our drinks. She sat down with my sparkling water and Jazmine's pink lemonade. Another guy followed after her with the wine I ordered and two glasses. He put the glasses on the table beside my and Jazmine's drinks. He popped open the bottle which caused Jazmine to flinch in her seat.

The waiter poured a certain amount into each of our glasses before setting the bottle down on the table. He left our table which had Emma jump back into the picture.

"So, are you guys ready to order?" Emmas asked. I looked at Jazmine who shrugged her shoulders. I had an idea of what I wanted but I didn't want to offend Jazmine.

I was going to tell her to return later until Jazmine responded, "Can I get a salad?"

"As an appetizer?" Emma asked to be sure.

"No as a meal," Jazmine said unsure of herself.

A salad?!

A salad?!

I did not book reservations at this restaurant for her to order a salad. I could understand if she did order it as an appetizer, but a meal! That's not going to fill her up.

"Um okay, and you sir?" Emma said, unsure about Jazmine's order. She looked over at me and asked what I wanted.

"Um," I said trying to think of something, "I haven't decided what I wanted yet," I truthfully spoke.

"Would you like for me to come back later?" Emma asked.

"Um," I said too stunned to speak. I hate not knowing what I want to order. "No need for that...I recall seeing a ribeye steak that comes with stuffed potatoes and steamed broccoli, your favorite!" Jazmine said, trying to tell help me out.

"Um...are you sure?" I asked. "I know how you feel about meat and I don't want to disgust you out this whole dinner," I said.

"It's alright with me," she said.

"Okay, but are you sure you want a salad?" I asked to be sure, once again.

"Yeah, I'm okay with a salad. I need to watch my figure," she said as I got uncomfortable. Watching her figure?

"Okay, your orders will be coming up in a little bit," Emma said before leaving our table.

I continued to stare at Jazmine. She sighed as she grabbed her pink lemonade and just looked at it untrusting.

I got the feeling she didn't want to be here and she was only here to not disappoint me.

"Jazmine." She looked up from fiddling with her cup.

"Yes?" Jazmine asked.

"Do you want to be here," I asked relaxing my face. I didn't want her to get scared to answer me truthfully, "Be honest, I will not be upset!"

She sighed once again, "No...this doesn't seem relaxing, and I don't understand any of their vegan options on that menu other than a salad, and they all seem ridiculously expensive for a small amount that's not going to fill me up."

"Okay, thank you for being honest! We can leave and go to whatever place you want to go. My treat since it's your birthday," I said.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes!"

"Any place I want to go to tonight?" she asked to be sure.

"Yes, Jazmine, any place!" I assured her. "So, what do you have in mind, Ms. DuBois?"

"I have a couple of suggestions," she smiled.

One of her suggestions lead us to a nearby ice rink that was about to close. When I paid the guy 50 he told us we could skate for up to an hour before he had to leave to go home to his wife and kids. Sounds nice!

Jazmine and I were on the bleachers putting on the skates that we borrowed from the building. As I tightened my laces I felt my feet shaking from being on ice. I always had a fear of surprise that didn't come with a good ending. Ice skating was on my list due to a kid falling into the cold river. The ice broke on him and he went deep into the water. The firefighters brought the little boy to our hospital and we tried to save him but we were too late.

I was hoping this ice rink wasn't the same. I stood up trying to catch my balance. I looked at the ice in the rink to see it had something under it. It wasn't water, so that was a good thing.

I looked over at Jazmine to see she was excited while putting on her skates. I couldn't help but smile. As long as she's happy, I'm happy!

She got trying to catch her balance on the edge.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Yes!" she said giving me a big smile. The door to the ice rink was left open for Jazmine and me.

She got on the ice first and started to skate beautifully. I got on the ice and was holding on to the edge so I wouldn't fall. I haven't done this in years so muscle memory was going to take a while. Jazmine came up beside me as she was watching me trying to get the hang of it.

"Let me guess, this is your first time?" she asked.

"No, I've done this before, I just haven't done it in almost a decade." She started to laugh at me a little.

"It's okay, but the first thing you want to do is relax. The more tense you are, the harder it is for you to skate," she said.

"Oh really?" I rhetorically spoke.

"Yeah!" she said as she did a little spin. She seemed to be good at skating on ice. That took me by surprise due to not acknowledging Jazmine's talent.

"Jazmine, I never knew you enjoyed skating," I said, surprised.

"Yeah, there's a lot of things I like to do that nobody knows about," she said.

"Oh yeah, like what?" I asked, interested.

"Well, I like to skate, garden, volunteer, restyle clothes, draw, ant farming, play with a few insects, collect dolls and toys, do hair, etc." she named.

I never took Jazmine as the type to do any of those things. Maybe volunteering, but other stuff, not so much. I know she told me that she wanted to get into gardening, but even when I did meet her I never took her as the type to do any of it.

"You draw?" I said.

"Yeah, I'm not good at it, but I think it's very relaxing," she admitted. That's new!

"What about the ant farm and playing with insects?" I asked.

"Oh, that interest shocked me when I was little. I always thought I would be scared of bugs, but I find them to be quite interesting. I remember when my mother took me to the pet store to get my first pet since I was being so responsible. I had seen so many types of animals it was hard to pick from," she explained.

"And you didn't want a dog?" I asked. Most people usually get a dog.

"I did at first, but my mom told me she wanted me to start small. Meaning she wanted me to get something like a fish instead of a dog. When we did go into the shop, I wanted an ant farm instead a fish. She thought the ant warm was worse than me getting a dog," Jazmine exclaimed.

"So did you go straight to the fish?" I asked.

"Not necessarily...I wanted a miniature snake that was completely harmless, but she talked me out of getting a snake when she said they were carnivores and I had to feed them mice. Then I tried to get a mouse, but she said no to that along with a couple of other things. My only option was a fish which is what she wanted me to get from the beginning," Jazmine said laughing at the end.

"What type of fish did you get?" I asked.

"I got a goldfish and I named it Goldie," she answered.

"A goldfish named Goldie!" I repeated.

"Yeah, I know it's a bit cliché," she said.

"No, it's not bad! That's just the first I heard of a goldfish's name."

"Oh, okay," she said as she continued staking and I was starting to get the hang of it.

"So, whatever happened to the goldfish?" I asked.

"Well, sadly it died because my dad was drunk one night and he ended up throwing up in my fish tank. I was mad at him because Goldie was one week away from her birthday," she casually said catching me off guard.

The fuck! Why the hell was Tom drunk out of all the places he could have thrown up at he chose a fish tank in his daughter's room. After all these years he is still an odd man! I never understood what Sarah had seen in him.

The guy was a complete coward!

My affair with Sarah was never long-term. I wasn't in love with her but like Jazmine, I think she could have chosen someone better in her league. I know most women in my generation try to get a wealthy man to take care of them, and some of them have succeeded, but Sarah could have done better.

From the way she would let her frustration out during sex you could tell Tom was not good in bed.

"How many years did you have her?" I asked.

"Almost five years until my dad threw up on it," she answered.

"Oh wow," I mumbled.

"Yeah, but what are your interest? You always seem to surprise me," she asked.

"Well," I started as I start to relax while skating, "Something that nobody knows I like to do is to run."

"I thought you did that to keep in shape," she pointed out.

"I do run to keep in shape but I also like to do it because it relaxes me," I added. As a quick reminder, I ran cross country and did long distances while in high school. I was pretty good at it but I didn't like staying at the stadium all day. I guess you could say I'm impatient.

"I want to do this upcoming marathon in a couple of weeks but I don't want to leave Nicholas alone. I know I could get my babysitter to do it but I don't even like doing that," I said. It took a lot in me to leave Nicholas at the penthouse, alone, with a woman I barely knew. It didn't sit right with me. I would have brought him with me, but the restaurant I made reservations at didn't allow kids.

What if she kidnapped him?

Or worse, killed him!

I would have had William watch him but he was working late tonight.

"No worries, Huelene, Nicholas, and I will come for support. That way you'll peacefully run your marathon knowing that Nicholas is safe and we'll support you along the way," she suggested.

"You don't want to run it?" I asked.

"No, not exactly! A marathon isn't on my bucket list. I'm trying to slowly get back into being active," she said.

"Plus I don't want to slow you down because I'm starting to get tired easily," she added.

"What do you mean?" I asked, concerned.

Jazmine sighed, "What I mean is I've been feeling oddly tired when working out. And the weird part is I don't do any extreme workouts to get that tired."

"What type of exercises do you do?" I asked.

"I mainly do yoga and light jogging around the block," she said.

"That's all?"

"That's all!"

"And I lost most of the baby fat, but I want to get rid of my tummy fat," she said touching her belly. I smiled because I didn't think it was that bad. She still looked good in that dress.

"C'mon Jazz, it doesn't look bad," I said observing her body.

"James be serious, what could you really do with this?" Jazmine asked. I smirked and looked her up and down, "I could do a lot of imaginable things!"

Her face turned a tint of pink and she covered her face. "You okay?" I asked.

"Yes! It's just hot in here," she mumbled through her mouth.

"Hot in a room filled with ice," I rhetorically acknowledged.

"Yes very hot..." she said.

"You could get hotter under my sheets," I huskily said.

"James!" Jazmine said, flattered.

I slowed and got behind her. I put my arms around her as she hugged them. "As much as I would like to get down and dirty with you, I will keep this appropriate between us."

"Oh!" She said, surprised by my sudden self-control.

"So, sex is off the table?" She asked, messing with me.

"Unfortunately, yes! It wasn't my intention. I just wanted to treat you for your birthday and put a smile on your face."

She smiled and then departed from me. She turned to look at me and stopped skating.

"James, although you had reservations for us at an expensive restaurant," she started. She's not wrong, that restaurant was quite expensive.

"I'm glad we got to do this instead. It gave us a chance to get to know one another," she said. She's right, there was stuff I never knew about Jazmine that I hadn't expected of her.

"And I thank you for that and being open to this," she said referring to the ice rink.

"You're welcome!" I said, thankful for the acknowledgment.

"And with the sex...I thought it was going to happen tonight because the vibe was there, but I'm glad you turned it down. It's let me know how much respect you have for our relationship," she truthfully spoke.

"Yeah, I'm not saying it won't happen someday, but just not now. We've been through too much and we should have a little self-control before we start being intimate, again."

"I feel the first time in forever, I'm actually getting to know you, and I want to keep getting to know you!" I admitted. I had seen her face show a tint of pink.

"I understand and I agree with you!" Jazmine said with acceptance.

"We can date, but sex can be saved for when we're ready," I said as she nodded.

"Okay," she said. We continued to look at each other and I couldn't help but hug and give her a kiss on the lips. She kissed back and we kept going back and forth for who knows how long.

We ended up departing when we heard the guy say: "Your time is up!" Meaning we had to get out of the rink.

"I guess we have to go," she said, smiling.

"Yeah, I guess so, but we can come back another time," I said.

"We should bring the twins," she suggested.

"Yeah, we should!" I agreed. We started to head back to the exit so we could gather our belongings and leave. Also, return the ice skates we borrowed from the building.

...

It was early in the morning and there were a bunch of people getting ready for the marathon. I had on my shorts, sleeveless shirt, running shoes, a big number pinned to the bottom of my shirt, and some sunglasses. I watched the news last night to see if it was going to be sunny. I'm not sure about the heat since we're in the middle of October.

I didn't care too much about bringing sunscreen, but Jazmine did. Due to what happened at the beach, Jazmine always had sunscreen in the baby's bag. She would tell me it was for them but it was for me. She had two different brands that were for the twins and me and her.

I was standing next to the twins. They were in their stroller asleep. Jazmine was behind me rubbing sunscreen on my back while I was working on the front.

She was going under my shirt and rubbing some on my neck.

"Is this necessary?" I asked.

"Do you want to end up like last time?" She asked referring to the water park. I thought of that long night of getting stuff rubbed all over my body. It was the most painful thing I've been through.

I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson from the waterpark trip.

"No!" I sighed.

"Then in order for you not to have sunburn, you have to wear sunscreen," she said massaging my back.

"How long is the marathon going to last?" She asked getting in front of me.

"It should last for 4 hours, but I would say 5 to be safe," I said as she tiredly nodded her head.

"Okay...you know when you mentioned running a marathon, you never mentioned how early you start," she said with a nice sarcastic tone.

It was 6:52 AM and we got here around 6:00 AM. Meaning we had to start driving over here around 5:30 AM. Jazmine was tired and cranky. The twins were still asleep, thankfully!

But she was right, I did forget to mention what time the marathons started. I believe she thought it would take place in the afternoon.

"My apologies, it slipped my mind," I apologized.

"It's alright...I'm sorry, I'm just cranky this morning. I'll give it about another hour or so before I fully wake up," she apologized.

"It's okay, but I should have told you what time the thing was going to start."

"Yeah, but I don't want my whininess to be the center of attention. Just focus on the marathon and the twins and I will be at the end of the finish line to cheer you on," she said.

"Alright, I can't wait to see your beautiful faces wide awake," I said being funny as she had given me a funny look. The marathon was about to start and I started to make my way with all the other runners.

I took a deep breath and tried to relax before the race started. I have always gone for a run and to work out, but due to caring for Nicholas, I sometimes can rarely leave him alone.

I wish I had taken more time out of my day to prepare for the conditioning for these types of things. But things happen for a reason. This is just something to scratch off my bucket list. I wish Jazmine and the twins could join me, but after Jazmine told me that she easily got tired that took me by surprise. I didn't want to overwork her so it was probably best that she stay on the sidelines with the twins.

I looked at all the other runners who seemed to be ready for this marathon. I had to get with the program and have the same attitude as them.

'I could do this!"

I have been running a little less, eating healthy, and getting proper rest lately. I felt a little out of shape, but I feel I can still finish this.

"Runners...take your mart!" I heard the speaker say as everybody started to get ready.

"Get set!" the speaker said awaiting everybody to be still.

Once everybody was standing still until I heard "GO!"

Everybody started to begin the marathon. I was off to a good start towards the beginning. I started to feel pain and weakness when I got halfway through the marathon. There was a lot more to come along the way and my muscles were starting to feel numb. I could feel the pain, but at the same time, I couldn't feel it.

My body was able to get used to the pain as I continued to run.

Whenever they would give us water to drink, I would either take small sips or pour it on top of my head. It was starting to get hot and I didn't want to overheat. If you drink too much water, you'll start to feel heavy in some cases.

I don't want to risk any of my water weight so I'm keeping it down.

By the time noon almost hit, I was close to the finish line. I wasn't in front of everybody, but I was in the crowd of people that were keeping a good pace the whole marathon. I was surprised I was able to keep up due to my age and conditioning. I was tired but not to the point that I wanted to stop and walk the whole marathon.

I had a couple of miles to go and I was going to finish them. If I stop now I'll be in a lot of pain and not finish strong. I just kept going until I started to see the people towards the finish line. In the distance, I spotted strawberry-blond hair and knew it was Jazmine right away.

I got so engaged that I started to fasten my pace just to get to her and the twins. I could see them off in the distance as they sat in their strollers. I couldn't tell if they were awake but I knew it was them. I could hear Jazmine cheering me on as I got closer to the finish line. Many people in the front line started to pass it and I wasn't too far in passing it myself.

When I finally did cross it I was so relieved. I had to catch my breath and start walking around so my muscles wouldn't tighten. I was feeling the worse pain in my life due to my aching muscles. I could barely move around.

"You did it!" I heard Jazmine excitedly say as she approached me with the twins in their stroller.

I couldn't muster up any words to say to her due to being out of breath. All I could do is smile at her as she smiled back.

...

During the month of December, Jazmine was in the Christmas Spirit. She was following the traditional decoration, movies, and food. From the start of the last month of the year, she barged into my penthouse with a bunch of decorations. She decorated my patio, my living room, bathrooms, the kitchen, Nicholas Nursery, and my bedroom.

I have Christmas all over my place!

She was getting me excited for Christmas. Due to work, I have never celebrated holidays, including Christmas. As a doctor, I don't get that many off days. The time is put into the pay. I have enough money to retire at this age, but I like to keep myself busy.

Taking a break is exactly what I needed.

At the moment, Jazmine and I were in the kitchen decorating a gingerbread house she bought from the store. She said it was tradition for her to decorate a gingerbread house every year.

"Be gentle!" she spoke softly as I was outlining the gingerbread house. I was trying to be a perfectionist and make everything perfect. No mistakes were going to be made on my watch. Jazmine was watching me like a hawk as I continued to outline the other parts of the house.

"Good, good!" she mumbled as she continued to watch.

She looked over at the twins who had their own gingerbreads they were making. Instead of a house, she bought them gingerbread men. The twins didn't know any better but they were having fun playing them.

Jazmine even gave them some icing so they could decorate their gingerbread men. Instead of putting it on the gingerbread, they either were eating it or they were putting it all over their faces and in their hair. Later on, Jazmine and I were going to have to wash it off their bodies.

"You know, you watching me is making me more nervous?" I pointed out.

"I'm not trying to make you nervous, James, I just find these types of things satisfying," she excused.

Satisfying!

"But you're mumbling as if I'm about to make a mistake and that makes me nervous," I exclaimed.

"I'm mumbling to help you," she said. "James, how are you a surgeon who has saved many lives and performed difficult tasks under pressure, but you get bothered by my mumbling?" she questioned.

"This is different...you're mumbling, while others don't mumble as much during surgery," I said.

"That doesn't make any sense!" she exclaimed. "You have a bunch of people watching you as I'm doing and they also talk to you while you're performing it, and you mean to tell me you don't get bothered by that?" she questioned.

"Not necessarily! I've been doing that type of stuff for years. Decorating a gingerbread house is new for me. I never got to do this as a kid," I explained.

"Oh, that's why you're so nervous, this is your first!" she smiled.

I got a little embarrassed and ashamed for her to know it was my first time doing something like this. I always like to seem like Mr. Perfect, and if this gingerbread house isn't perfect, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I could get rid of it, but knowing that I made a mistake with the outlines will bother me.

"It's alright, I made tons of mistakes the first couple of times. I didn't start to perfect my work until I entered high school. I feel I really had outdone myself," she proudly spoke.

"Is that right," I said a bit interested.

"Did you continue to do this when you came to Washington?" I asked. I know this experience related to him since everything that happened in Washington had to do with him.

"I did, but I didn't have a gingerbread house, instead I had a gingerbread man Huey had bought me. He knows I like to do these types of things every year since it's tradition. We didn't have much but he still scrapped up a couple of bucks to buy me the gingerbread and icing before it went out of stock," she softly spoke, remising. I know she was happy to think about Huey at that moment.

It was painful but she did seem to soften up at the memory.

I know Huey must have had a few good qualities back then, but now they're out the window. I looked over at Huelene to see her still playing around with the icing and I couldn't help but smile. I know Jazmine didn't want Huey or her side of the family to take custody of Huelene, but deep down I felt as if she wanted Huey to acknowledge Huelene. Maybe even come to West Virginia to be part of her life.

The question was: would he do such a thing?

Would he want to be in Huelene's life?

For a second, I thought he would because he was so deadset on trying to find Jazmine, but according to Archy, Huey had moved on from her and started over with his life. He's getting back on his feet and I guess he doesn't want anything to do with Jazmine.

But then there is Huelene, who he had been receiving mail from the court for months by now. I know he has to be seeing the mail due to that being important information that contains bills and notices. If he wanted to be part of her life he could be, but he chooses to ignore the mail and go about his life as if nothing happened.

Day by day I lose more and more respect for Freeman. On some occasions, he surprises me, but others like this let me know how down bad he is. I don't know why Jazmine can't see that for herself. It is as clear as day and night.

I know I'm the reason this all happened, but she didn't have to leave. I just wanted her to tell Huey the truth. She could go back if she wanted to. Nobody's not exactly stopping her from seeing him at this point. He doesn't even have to know about Huelene or Nicholas.

Which brings me to question why she hasn't left yet.

The disease should be cleared from her system by now.

"That's good...by the way, how's your system?" I asked referring to her disease. I knew I was being random but I wanted to get off the topic of Huey.

"Good, the doctors are saying that I'm getting better," Jazmine answered.

"Better?" I questioned.

"Yeah...I'm pretty sure it takes time, but it is starting to clear up out of my system. As long as I continue my diet and being active it should happen sooner rather than later," she proudly spoke.

"That's good...you know I can help you in your journey? We can go for a run on some occasions or do yoga just to get you loose," I suggested as she smiled.

"That would be a great idea!" she exclaimed. "I need a partner to work out with. Sometimes when I'm doing this I feel that I'm doing it alone, and it would be nice to do it with someone," she said.

"I can be of great assistance! We can go for a walk, run, or jog, and we can even do some of your yoga sessions," I said as she seemed motivated.

"I can't wait, this is going to be so fun doing it with you!"

I asked, and she told me she was okay. That was great! It means the medicine was working on her and she was going to be back to normal soon. I wish it had happened a little faster but it didn't. Sometimes this type of stuff is a process.

...

Jazmine and I had just got done doing push-ups for 30 seconds and she was already on the ground tired. We did situps, Russian Twists, and planks, and we just finished doing pushups. I did around 20 while she only did 5.

She was laid out on the ground, defeated, and ready to give up on the workout.

"James, how do you do this all of the time?" she asked, out of breath.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "It's just a schedule I keep myself on. You think I got this body overnight?"

"No!" she whined. "This is harder than I expected it to be. I have no core whatsoever," she said referring to her belly. During the exercises, she was struggling a bit with some of them. For example, in Russian Twist, she kept falling back and losing her balance the whole time. She was amazed that I could hold such a position at my age.

I was too, but I worked to keep it that way.

"It's hard at first, but once you get the hang of it you'll get used to it. You're already doing the hard part which is staying on a diet, now the easy part comes into play if you can stay consistent with it."

She sighed and started to get up on her knees: "What's next?"

"V Ups!" I said as her face looked completely dead.

"James, at this point, I think you're trying to kill me," she sternly spoke.

"No, I just want you to get familiar with the feeling," I said.

"Sure you do," she said in an unsure way.

"Yes, now let's get into position," I said getting on my side. She did the same thing and watched me do the V-Up. Her face looked worse than before when she saw it play into action.

"This is going to be the end of me!" she cried.

...

January 23rd was my birthday, and I was turning 40 years old. Hitting my middle age! I was starting to feel old. In my generation, once you hit 40 you're considered old. Was my youth starting to go away?

I sighed in sadness as I sat in my living room. I don't normally celebrate my birthday. I go to work and continue the day as I normally do, and my coworkers would throw a small party when I had time.

When Jazmine and I were in Washington and we were having an affair, she didn't have much as I did, so she wrote me a card instead. It was her own handwriting, and I kept it in a journal. Normally people would buy written cards from the store and hand them off as something meaningless. I didn't like that. I wanted a little more effort when it came to cards. That means I want the person to handwrite it themselves instead of buying it from the store.

Of course, there are only a few people who do that nowadays.

I wasn't expecting anything for my birthday. Since Nicholas was asleep, I decided the greatest gift is rest. William had to work today but he took me out to eat for my birthday. It was nice of him to think of me.

I heard knocking at my door and perked up having a feeling who it might be. I got off the couch and headed to the front door to answer it.

I was met with Jazmine, who was holding a big brown bag and wine. She was smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Happy Birthday!" she said.

"Hey!" I said a little happy to see her.

"What brings you by?"

"James," she said letting herself in. "I came to celebrate your birthday with you."

"Oh really?" I asked shutting the door and locking it.

"Yes, it's not every day you turn 40 years old! You're four decades in," she exclaimed as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Yeah, so what's in the bag?" I asked, curious.

"Well, since I don't have the money to go to fancy restaurants or performances, I thought that I could bring some of your favorite meals and I could cook them," she said while taking out take, veggies, seasonings, thymes, etc. Just by the site of what she was going to cook me, I felt my stomach grumble.

"Jazmine, you shouldn't have," I said picking up the meat.

"No, no, you treated me for my birthday, I feel I should treat you for your birthday by cooking your favorite meal," she said taking the steak out of my hands.

"And you're alright with cooking dead animals?" I asked as she had given me a fake smile.

"I will admit, it's unpleasant for me, but for you, I'm willing to cook it for you," she said as I smiled.

"Well, this is the first," I said sitting down at my countertop.

"The first what?" she asked.

"The first time someone has ever tried to treat me," I said as she smiled.

"Glad to be the first..." she said taking some of my kitchen items out.

"How do you like your meat?" she asked.

"Medium rare!" I answered.

She got right to work on preparing my meal. I had seen her take out all types of stuff. She washed the vegetables, skinned the potatoes, seasoned my steak, made some type of green dressing, and was cooking them in a fancy way.

I watched closely as this was satisfying for me. The smell of her food was showing how good she was at cooking. It's as if she has done this before.

Almost an hour and a half had passed and she was finally done cooking. She set up the table, with two glasses that were filled with wine, a candle, and both our plates. I walked to the table to see my plate had steak, asparagus, mashed potatoes that looked more red than white, green sauce to the side, and I think macaroni and cheese. When did she make macaroni and cheese?

It looked to be burnt on top but it still looked good.

I looked at Jazmine's plate to see she had veggies, potatoes, and some fettuccini.

"Bon Appette!" she said as she took her seat.

"Wow...Jazmine this looks amazing!" I complimented.

"Thank you!" she smiled.

We started to dig into the meals she cook. I couldn't help but savor every bite I took of my meal. Jazmine's cooking was better than most of the dishes I had at fancy restaurants. Even the burnt mac n cheese tasted good.

"James, slow down, you could possibly choke on your food," she said as I noticed I was eating my food too fast.

"My apologies, but I have to ask, where did you learn to cook like this?"

"Well, I've always watched both sides of my family in the kitchen. Every meal they made was good! I remember asking my great-grandmother what her recipes were and she said she couldn't tell me because she didn't know herself. All her measurements that she did randomly just felt right to her. But I had to learn the hard way and watch through observation," Jazmine explained.

"Even with people I meet along the way, I watch them cook and I take it into account for myself and others in the future," she said.

"That's nice...I cook, but it's only stuff I like to eat."

"And me! I tried some of your cooking when I was pregnant," she said as I awkwardly smiled at her.

"But you threw it up on some occasions," I pointed out. I cooked for Jazmine whenever she came over, but sometimes she didn't like the food I cooked. That's why I resorted to ordering her takeout.

"I wasn't trying to throw it up, it just happened," she defended.

"Sure it did!" I said laughing it off.

I continued to gobble down the steak she had cooked and savor the taste with wine on the side. My mouth was in Heaven as we eat.

"So, how do you feel about turning 40?" Jazmine asked as she was fiddling with her last pieces of food. I choked on my food a bit when she did ask the question.

The question took me by surprise. How was I going to tell her that I was feeling old and drained out of my youth?

"Um, it feels new," I awkwardly answered. I told her partially what I was feeling.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, wanting me to be more detailed.

Shit, this was going to be a touchy topic.

"What I mean is, I feel new, but not in a good way. I feel that I'm losing my youth and I don't amount to much as I used to," I said feeling a little sad.

"James, you amount to more than you think you do! You have Nicholas who you're a great father to," she said placing her hand on me.

"Yeah, I know that, but sometimes I don't think I'm going to be able to do the fatherly son activities such as playing catch, hiking, camping, fishing, etc. I just feel that my age is going to catch up to my body at some point, and I'm not going to be able to perform some things with him."

This is the age when health problems start to occur. I feel that one of these days I'm going to hear about something that is life-threatening inside my body. I don't want Nicholas to worry about my health and lifespan. That'll be traumatic for a kid.

Sure, I have Jazmine who could always take custody of him, but even they don't want her to have the rights to him. There are my parents, but I don't want Nicholas to grow up the same way I did.

"I think you will be able to perform those things. I just feel that most of them you don't like to do," she pointed out.

She wasn't wrong! The only thing I found fun was hiking. All the other stuff was not my type of fun.

"But you get what I mean...this is the age where bad stuff starts to happen," I said.

"True!" she agreed, "But when you really think about it, do you have anything to be worried about?"

"You live such a healthy life and you barely eat things that are bad for you. Plus you're always keeping yourself active. For you to run a whole marathon a couple of months ago says a lot about you," she explained.

"I guess so...but I generally fear the fate of my future," I mumbled.

Jazmine sighed, "James, it's gonna eventually happen to all of us and we're not going to be able to do anything about it. The one thing you can't cheat is death, no matter how many loopholes you have. The best thing we can do is enjoy life to the fullest and not dwell on it."

"You're right!" I said. She was because I can't sit here and be depressed about my age until I die. I still have a good 40 or 50 more years left in me. When I see people in their 80s and 90's they look so peaceful about their fates and they enjoy life to the fullest. I should do the same thing and waste a minute of it.

"I should enjoy life to the fullest!"

That should have been the second sign: Warning!


"I don't know why I couldn't catch it sooner rather than later," James said in guilt. "There was so much going on between us that I couldn't handle it at one point."

"Her death?" Huey asked.

"Yes, but before I started to worry about her disease, I was worried about her still having feelings for you," James admitted.

"Excuse me?" Huey questioned, confused. From the way James made it sound, it sounded as if Jazmine was getting over him due to him moving on with his life.

"It was like a burden that was never going away. She would say she was over you but I didn't feel as if she was really over you," James said with a little hurt in his tone.

"Why's that?" Huey asked. None of this was making sense to him. First, it was the forms that he supposedly was receiving from the court, and according to Ebony, Jazmine would talk to him on the phone and she apparently came to Washington to see him at one point.

He was unaware of all of this. Something wasn't adding up on his part. How come he didn't see Jazmine when she came to Washington to supposedly see him? How did the custody letters not show up in his mail? They couldn't have gotten sent to his Grandad's house due to him and Riley switching their addresses to their current residence at the time. On top of that, Ebony found out Jazmine was still talking to him. She even heard his voice on the other line.

Could James have possibly experienced the same thing as Ebony?

He mentioned he found Huey a burden due to Jazmine still having feelings for him.

'Did he hear Jazmine talking to me over the phone?' Huey asked himself.

"Because I heard and saw Jazmine talking on the phone with you," James answered, upset. So he was aware of Jazmine communicating with him.

"When did this exactly happen?" Huey asked.

"I believe it happened the weekend we celebrated the twins' birthday and when we went to Missouri," James stated.


After I had told Jazmine the news of my moving back to Missouri she was upset with me. I felt terrible for breaking the news that way but it had to come out at some point. I couldn't hold it in for long.

Jazmine and I went to bed early after a long day of taking care of the twins. We were planning to get it on, but due to me telling her the news she got disturbed by that. She didn't want to do anything with me.

I had blue balls and felt like a complete asshole. I know I didn't know I didn't do anything wrong but I had plans to move to Missouri and she knew this. I guess she had forgotten.

A couple of hours had passed by and I couldn't sleep properly because I had to go use the restroom. I got up out of bed to start heading to the bathroom until I realized there was an empty space on the bed.

Jazmine was gone and she was nowhere to be found around the room. I went to the bathroom to go see if she was in there but she wasn't. I started to get worried and I was about to leave my room when I heard her voice from downstairs. She seemed like she was trying to be quiet. I only heard murmurs from her which I couldn't identify the wording.

I could tell she was talking to someone over the phone, but who? Who was she talking to this late at night? It was past 10 o'clock.

I looked at my side of the bed which had a nightstand next to it. On top of that nightstand were the glasses I would wear to read, a book, some water, a recorder, and a phone that was connected to the whole penthouse. Meaning I could listen in on her conversation.

I slowly walked over to the phone and hesitated to answer it. What if it's some guy on the phone with her?

No, Jazmine wouldn't do that, would she?

I feel she would have common sense and a little respect not to contact a guy if we're in a relationship.

It could be Ebony who's trying to check in on her and Huelene.

Yeah, that could be it!

But something was telling me otherwise. I urged myself to pick up the phone and listen to whoever's voice was on the other line.

"What did you do for your birthday?" I heard Jazmine softly ask.

Who is she talking to?

"Oh..." I heard a male's voice on the other line.

The fuck!

"I uh went out with a couple of people," I heard the male answer.

His tone sounded as if he was on substance, perhaps high, if you asked me.

"Huey, what does that mean? What exactly did you do for your birthday?" she asked laughing a little.

She's talking to Huey?

How long has this been going on?

"I...went out with my coworkers, classmates, and Adaline. My coworkers threw me a surprise party...at the shop and then later on I went to the...strip club. There were a lot of booty cheeks everywhere." he said sounding like a three-year-old towards the end. "I went home with one of the strippers...I don't know which one it was but all I know is I was fucked up!"

Really?

"Did you sleep with anybody while we were together?" Jazmine asked.

I wanted to slap my hand against my face because that was the dumbest question she had asked him. We all knew the answer to that. Hell, even Huey knew the answer and he's high.

"C'mon Jazmine, I think we both know the answer to that," he said.

As I thought!

"You know I wasn't sleeping with anybody but YOU!" he emphasized to her.

Did he just vocalize a word?

"I like putting my lips on every part of your body, I'll stick my dick in you and only you, and I showed I was taken. Sure, I'll admit they were flirting with me, but I wasn't flirting back," he said slurring his word.

"I even thought about showing our sex tape to get my point across. But I would have gotten killed by you if I did so," he said.

"Yes, you would have!" Jazmine agreed.

Wow, even going so far as to show a sex tape. I gotta give him credit on this one.

"They would have understood if they heard your sexy moans, seen your body trembling with orgasm after orgasm, and us doing oral," Huey said full of his ego. I could tell he was smirking on the other line.

"Huey," Jazmine said embarrassed. I felt she was blushing from that. "I think you got your point across, I believe you," she said still embarrassed.

"Please...continue with your story," she said going back to the initial topic.

"Then my classmates took me to the bar and we drank and then we got HIGH afterward!" he said chanting high.

Didn't know he had vocals like that. He comes off as the type to not sing.

"And with Adaline, we went out to eat, then we returned to my place and we got HIGH!" he said chanting high once again.

God, how many times was he going to do that?

Jazmine chose him over me?

The dude just admitted to fucking a stripper when he has a whole girlfriend. He probably did the same thing when Jazmine was still with him.

"Oh, it seems you had quite an adventure!" she said sounding a little jealous.

"Yeah, but I was pretty fucked over, so that's something I can't keep doing," he admitted.

Good, so he knows it's bad for him.

I had to get this on tape because this was getting too interesting. I needed to have proof of Jazmine talking to Huey just for the future when I bring it up.

I pushed the recorder onto my nightstand and held it close to the phone.

"That's highly suggested! You can't keep doing this if you're taking classes," she agreed.

"I know...I'll start laying off the weed, but I only do it once a week and that's on Sundays before I go to bed," he assured.

"Okay," she sighed as there was complete silence between the two.

"I forgot to ask, what did you do for your birthday?" Huey softly asked.

"Oh, my boyfriend took me out to eat and we went ice skating," Jazmine said, sounding a little happy.

"Ice skating...I remember you loved going ice skating," he said sounding a little sad.

"Yeah, it's very calming," she softly spoke.

"Yeah it is...if you don't mind me asking, who's your boyfriend?" he asked with his tone cracking a little.

It sounded as if he was about to...cry?

"Huey, that's not important right now," she said trying to avoid the question.

"No, I want to know who he is," he slightly demanded.

"Huey, it's not important," she repeated.

"Did you leave me for...him?" Huey asked with his voice cracking.

Oh God, he was actually sad about this.

"No, no Huey," she softly spoke, "I left for other reasons."

"What were the reasons?"

"Did I do something to hurt you?"

"No, you've been a good husband, you didn't do no such thing to hurt me," she assured.

I hope he didn't do anything harmful.

"If that's the case, why did you leave?" he asked.

She was pregnant and had a deadly disease.

"Huey, you're asking too many questions," she warned.

There was complete silence between the two and he said: "I don't understand how you can ask me questions and I'll gladly answer them, but I ask you questions and you avoid answering them."

"Huey..." Jazmine said.

"Does he make you happy?" Huey asked with his voice about to crack once again.

"Huey..." she said once again.

"Is he taking care of you and treating you right?" Huey asked, hurt.

I thought Jazmine was going to avoid the answer, but she ended up responding: "Yes."

Oh wow, never expected her to respond.

"That's good," he said.

"I'm sorry I couldn't meet up to you and your parents' expectations of a man. I feel if we broke it off and went our separate ways, you would be in school, happy, while enjoying your life and you would be safe and sound. I know you say you're safe, but we all worry about you. Everybody just prays for your well-being," Huey apologized.

"Huey, don't say things like that," she said, sounding as if she was tearing up.

"Jazmine, I don't know where you're at and I'm worried sick about you...can you please just let me know and I'll leave you alone?" he softly asked.

"Huey, you know I can't tell you any of that," Jazmine said.

"But Jazz, baby please!" he pleaded as I could hear Jazmine crying on the other end.

"Huey, I can't, I have to go, the babies are crying!" she lied as she hung up. I hung up the phone and stopped the recorder.

I put everything back into place so she wouldn't suspect a thing. I got under the sheets and pretended to be asleep as I heard her approaching the stairs.

I heard sniffles as she walked up the stairs. She came into the room and instead of coming to bed she went to the bathroom and closed the door.

The lights came on! They stayed on for almost an hour before they were shut off and Jazmine came back to bed. She got under the sheets and ended up scooting next to me. I felt her arm loop around me.

It made me feel some type of way, but that was all washed away when I looked back at the conversation she and Huey had.

Why did she start talking to him out of all people? This almost hurt worse than last time.

We were doing so good and she just had to ruin it by calling Huey. Was she still in love with him?

...

During Jazmine's Spring Break in April, I invited her to join me in Missouri. I wanted her to see where Nicholas and I were going to be staying. Hopefully, she'll find interest in this place and see why I chose it.

I was still upset about her talking to Huey, but I wanted her to see why I was a better option and not him. He was such a bum and I don't even know how she still finds him attractive.

He admitted to sleeping with other women while with his current girlfriend and he still smokes and drinks. That was disappointing to hear. It meant he hasn't changed at all since she left—still the same old Huey.

Again, I ask myself every time, what does she see in Huey Freeman?

I will admit I started to feel bad hearing him cry for her. This wasn't the first time I had seen and heard Huey cry over Jazmine. The first time was when she left him and two months passed by.

He was looking for her and posted all types of fliers all over Washington just for her.

Now that I think about it, Huey must have loved Jazmine. A man has to be in love with you for them to put in all that effort to try and find you.

Could that be a sign or are there more?

Did I love Jazmine that much? Did I love as hard as Huey did?

When she went missing, I didn't even bother to try and go find her. I picked and chose when I wanted to care about Jazmine. I was happy she was gone at one point until I started to miss her. And even at that point I still didn't put in the same effort as Huey. I had seen fliers of Jazmine in West Virginia and was shocked to find out that he went this far to look for her.

Would I have gone that far?

Sure, I traveled to the state she continued her residency in, but I wouldn't have gone state to state just to find her.

Maybe that's where my love was limited. Maybe Jazmine loved Huey so much because he would do the unimaginable just for her. His preference for other women was different. Even the one he was with now.

Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake to cause any of this in the first place. Jazmine was so happy about starting a marriage with Huey. She even was throwing away our affair to be with him and him only.

She was a whore, but she had a motive all along and that was to make sure she and Huey were to achieve their goals and be financially stable.

Maybe it was my fault for catching feelings during this affair. If we had continued without emotions in the mix then I wouldn't have had a problem with Jazmine cutting off our affair for Huey.

I didn't like the guy but they seem to be the other's perfect half. Opposite perspectives but they attract.

And I ruined that!

This could be my last attempt to see where her heart truly lies at. With me or Huey?

After an 11-hour drive, Jazmine and I finally made it to Missouri where my next residency was to be. She was in the passenger's seat, asleep from the drive. I looked around the area to see it was exactly how I pictured it. The area was green and lively, our neighbors were from a distance, and it gave an agricultural setting as Jazmine wanted. The town wasn't too far from here.

But this was nice. I could see myself living here for the next decade.

I looked over at Jazmine who was still asleep and I started to nudge her to wake up, "Hey Jazz!"

"Hey, we're here," I softly spoke as she started to wake up. When she looked around she looked to be confused.

"Where are we?" she asked wiping saliva from her mouth.

"Did you forget?" I rhetorically asked as she still looked to be confused. I guess she did forget.

"We're spending a week in Missouri for your Spring Break," I reminded her as she started to think about it.

"Oh, right!" she said now remembering it. "I'm so tired I started to forget my own name for a second," she joked. I laughed but I didn't think that was funny. Something was off.

"Yeah, but didn't you go to bed early?" I asked.

"Yes, I did, but when riding in a moving vehicle I start to get tired," she covered.

Makes sense I guess, "Oh, okay...well as long as you're well rested that's good."

"Do you want to go check out the place?" I asked her as she smiled at me. "I'm curious to see what it looks like," she said unfastening her seat belt. She got out of the car and went to go look around the property. She was just as amazed as I was.

"This is beautiful!" she complimented.

"Yeah, you think so?"

"I know so, I helped pick out the place!" she said giving herself a little credit. She wasn't wrong, she did in fact help pick out the place.

"Shall we go in?" I asked holding up the house keys.

"We shall," she agreed.

We walked the pavement to the front door. As I came closer to the steps I started to realize it wasn't as small as I pictured. It was big, but not too big. I lived in a mansion growing up, so this type of scenery is new to me.

I unlocked the front door and opened it to show Jazmine the inside of the house. It looked better inside rather than outside.

"Oh wow!" Jazmine said looking around.

"This is gorgeous!" she said even more amazed.

"It's got everything we talked about," she said going into the living room, the kitchen, the bathrooms, and upstairs to where the other rooms were at. I smiled and shook my head at this woman. She was full of so much energy. With that 10-hour nap, she had better be full of energy.

I made it upstairs to see Jazmine had opened all of the doors. Meaning she was looking at all the rooms upstairs. I found her in the master bedroom to see her laying in bed.

"I see you found comfort in the place," I said sitting in the bed with her.

"Yeah, I like it, it's very homey, you know?" she said rubbing the sheets.

I looked around to see how simple everything was and I did agree with her, "It is homey."

We were in bed for I don't know how long and we sat in complete silence. It wasn't awkward as you might think. We were just enjoying each other's company.

That was until Jazmine turned to my side of the bed and asked: "So, what should we do first?"

"I don't know, we could just go into town and look to see what we want to do," I shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay, well when you're well rested we can head out and go do some things," she said being mindful of my health.

"That's fine with me," I said before relaxing my eyes. Now that I think about it, I was tired from driving for 11 hours. I don't know how I was able to make it without taking that many breaks. I did stop to get gas, but I didn't like the areas I was in to get gas so I made sure I was in and out.

After Jazmine and I were well rested we decided to go into town and go explore what we could do. Throughout the week, we went walking around the park, went through a flower garden, out to eat, to the movies, swimming, etc.

At the moment we were in a slow jamming bar sitting at one of the tables. It was a Saturday night and we wanted to get out of the house. We didn't know where to go at this time at night so we chose a slow jammin' bar.

They sang and played some relaxing songs. Nothing too loud or rowdy for the crowd. It was all just a peaceful night. That was until Jazmine left my side with some change.

I was wondering where she was going. She went outside to go talk on the phone. It was in the middle of the sidewalk. There weren't but only a few people passing by.

She was on the phone for a good minute and it had me wondering who she was talking to. Was it Huey?

No, it couldn't be, he said himself he was on a schedule when it came to smoking. But I found it hard to believe due to it being Huey, who is always smoking or on some form of substance. He could be high right now!

I started to tap my foot on the ground due to being paranoid. She was out there longer than usual and she looked to be happy. Why is she giving him all of her attention? He doesn't deserve any of it and he doesn't deserve her.

I ought to get up from my seat and catch her in the act of talking to him. That way she has no way to deny secretly talking to him.

I have her on my recorder talking to him but catching her in the act is better for more proof.

I was about to get up from my seat when I had seen Jazmine hang up the phone and make her way back inside.

Shit, now I can't catch her!

She came happily came back inside the place and sat right next to me once again. "What's got you in a good mood?"

"You!" she smiled, like a teen girl. Well, technically she is still a teen since she is 19 years old.

"That's nice to know," I said taking the compliment.

"Who were you on the phone with," I asked, afterward.

"Oh, that was Ebony! If I don't check in with her she starts to get worried and when she starts to get worried she calls the cops thinking something happened to me," Jazmine explained.

"Has that happened before?" I asked.

"Almost!" Jazmine mumbled, a bit embarrassed.

"When?" I asked, interested.

"When I spent a weekend over at Tyrone's house for the weekend. I forgot to call her and she almost called the cops until I returned back to the house," she awkwardly laughed.

"I'm guessing you got the lecture of your life when you returned," I predicted.

"I did, and I remembered from there on out that I would call every time I left the house," Jazmine noted.

"Good because I don't need the cops pulling up at my place."

"You don't have to worry, she's relaxed!" Jazmine assured.

"That's good, but why did you come in smiling?" I asked.

"Oh well for one I'm having such a good time with you and two, Ebony told me Huelene finally said her to name," Jazmine said exclaimed.

"She said E-B!" Jazmine mimicked in a baby tone.

"Can you finally believe she is saying someone else's name and that someone is Ebony?" Jazmine spoke with pride.

"It's unbelievable and also cute!" I said going along with the mood.

"It really is, I can't wait till she starts saying Nichole's name," Jazmine cooed.

"I can see her saying Ni-Ni, like 'Nana' but with the 'I'," I predicted.

"Or it could be Na-Na since it's easier to pronounce like Da-Da and Ma-Ma," Jazmine disagreed.

"Probably, but if she is saying E-B then she is soon gonna be saying Ni-Ni," I said making my point.

"We'll see James, we'll see," she said taking a sip of her drink.

I enjoyed these kinds of moments with Jazmine. Whenever we talked about the kids it always brought a smile to our faces. I feel that's what we most have in common with each other. If it weren't for them we wouldn't be seeing each other.

I wouldn't have come if she wasn't pregnant with the twins. So in some form of way, they're the reason why we got together.

...

Sunday night, our last night before we headed back to West Virginia. We decided to relax at the house. I didn't mind because I wanted to relax for tomorrow when we leave. It was going to be an 11-hour drive back to West Virginia and I needed all the rest I could get.

I was laying on the couch watching a random show. Jazmine went to go take a shower and get ready for bed. Seems as if she was tired from today. I wasn't gonna bother because she needed to rest as well. She's starting to get tired easily.

While we were in the flower garden this week, I caught her dozing off on the benches a couple of times when we would stop to rest. Again, I didn't mind because I know she easily gets tired. But I've been questioning that for a good minute. Since we arrived here in West Virginia she has shown signs of easily getting tired.

I had to take into account that stuff like this happened and I needed to adjust to her schedule. It's most likely due to the pregnancy. She was tired during her pregnancy but not this tired.

Even during sex, it doesn't last that long. She gets tired after 1 or 2 rounds and she's out like a light. Usually, she could go a couple of hours with me but she's done after an hour.

Then on some occasions, she forgets stuff that should never be forgotten. For example, taking her medication. Sure, the disease should be out of her system by now but she should still keep taking the medicine to keep her system strong.

In the mornings sometimes her side of the bed would have sweat which was another odd thing. She never sweated this much.

Maybe I was overthinking everything. I cleared my mind and continued to watch tv before I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

I looked to my side to see it was Jazmine who had come downstairs with her pink silky robe that covered most of her body except her cleavage. Her hair was damped and her skin was oily.

I felt myself harden as I took in her appearance.

"Hey Jazz, you finally done showering?" I rhetorically asked a dumb question.

"Yeah, I got done showering, and I was about to go to bed until I realized we didn't get to swim in the pool this week," she seductively spoke.

"We didn't?" I repeated as she shook her head.

"No, we didn't, but then I thought since it's our last night here and we leave tomorrow morning, why not give it some action," she hinted at sex.

I got up from the couch and walked in front of Jazmine who was giving me a sexy look. "What are you implying Jazz?"

"Meet me outside and you'll see!" Jazmine said rubbing her hand down my chest before leaving towards the pool.

Oh, she was actually serious about this. I went upstairs to our room to go retrieve a condom since we needed protection for this. We could get a little wild and protection was definitely going to be needed. Ever since one of the twins came to be mine we started to have protective sex.

I didn't think it was possible but it was, surprisingly!

I headed downstairs and started walking down the hallway to see that Jazmine's robe was on the floor.

Damn, I could have caught her walking naked. I went outside to see her swimming in the water. I smirked when she started to swim on her back because I could see all her goodies. Only if she turned around again I could see that other goodie.

I was at the edge and watched her as she continued to swim. It only took her so long until she started to notice me.

"You finally came out," she said, swimming towards me.

"Yeah, I had to grab this," I said showing her the condom. She smiled at me and started to move around.

"Well, are you going to get in?" she softly asked.

I started to strip off my clothes and slip the condom on my dick. She swam backward to give me space to get in. I did but when I put part of my foot in the water I realized how cold it was.

I haven't gone swimming in a long time so this was new to me. I was debating getting in the water until Jazmine said: "If you just jump in and start moving around the cold will go away quicker."

I took a deep breath before quickly jumping in the water and she was right it was cold. I swam towards her in the center of the pool where she awaited me.

She put her hands around my neck and started kissing me. I, of course, kissed back and that lead us to have sex in the pool, then in the shower, and then back to the bedroom.

I was laying on my back while Jazmine was on top of me, moving her hips. I was so close to releasing. I had my hands on her ass to help her keep up with the motion.

"Mmmm!" I heard Jazmine moan.

"You alright?" I asked as she nodded her head.

"I'm close," she warned as we started to speed up.

I was starting to get tired but I was willing to finish this round. I was close and so was she. Jazmine threw her head back as she continued to ride me.

"Oh, baby, you look so fucking hot right now!" I exclaimed as she went even faster.

"James," she warned as I could feel her getting wetter. She ended up releasing along with me. We both were sweating and breathing hard and before I fell asleep, I said: "Oh woman, marry me!"

I just closed and I was dead asleep. I wasn't going to get up until it was time to go. I stayed asleep for a good couple of hours until I had to the bathroom. I woke up and blindly observed my surroundings to see Jazmine was gone from her side once again. I looked to my side to see it was late and night.

I also looked at the phone that was connected to the whole house and something told me to answer it. I had to pick it up. It was Sunday night and she was most likely on the phone with Huey, again. He said that he smokes on Sunday before going to bed.

I slowly picked up the phone and listened. Jazmine was the first voice I was hearing over the phone:"How was Chicago, I know you went back for the holidays?"

"It was ghetto as hell!" Huey exclaimed.

"What happened?" Jazmine asked, ready to listen.

Yeah, what did happen?

"I went to church with my Aunt Cookie and Riley since she guilt-tripped me into going. The whole time the pastor was throwing flirty comments at one of the women he was fucking behind his wife's back. A couple of people were vaping and having sex in the church. You could literally hear everything that was going on. Then when it came to the Easter Egg Hunt, Riley and a couple of the kids we grew up with were stealing some of the eggs from the kids. And a fight almost broke out, but thankfully there were police officers off duty there to settle down the situation," Huey fussed.

"Oh wow...sounds like a lot that happened," she said.

"It is! I'm reminded every time why I would not move back to Chicago," Huey said a little upset.

He actually sounded sober.

"Yeah, it's understandable if all that happened," Jazmine agreed.

"Yeah, but what did you do for Easter?" Huey asked, interested.

"I helped host an Easter Egg hunt for the kids. They had a lot of fun especially when we placed a golden egg full of money. It was in a spot that you could never miss. Guess where it was Huey," Jazmine excitedly spoke.

"Let me guess, was it on Jesus?" Huey guessed.

"Ding ding ding! Correct!" Jazmine sounded.

"It took the kids almost an hour to try and find it," Jazmine giggled.

"An hour?" Huey said in disbelief.

"Yes, because they thought it was outside the whole time in the trees, and I tell you I was not about to climb up there and hurt myself," Jazmine explained.

"That's kind of funny!" Huey said laughing a little bit.

"And did they react when they found it was on Jesus?" Huey asked.

"Well, for starters they were upset because they thought it should have been the most obvious spot and they also started to fight because they couldn't decide which one was going to take the money home. This causes them to tire themselves out and let's just say their parents were happy," Jazmine explained.

"Damn, how much was in that egg?" Huey asked.

"Like 5 bucks," Jazmine casually said.

"That's all?" Huey said.

"Yep, that's all!" Jazmine said laughing.

"Well as long as you enjoyed it that's good," Huey said, sounding happy.

"Yeah," she said. The two went into complete silence once again. That was until Jazmine asked: "Huey I have a question?"

"Yeah?" Huey asked, awaiting the question.

"Have you been receiving any letters from the court?" Jazmine asked.

"About our marriage?" Huey asked, confused.

"No, not about our marriage, but about other things such as...custody?" Jazmine specified.

This is something I'm curious about too. He has to be getting those papers.

"No, I haven't seen anything from the court. I look at my mail all the time but I usually get bills and the newspaper," Huey answered.

He can't be serious right now! How's he not getting them if his stuff is in the system?

"Really, are you sure?" Jazmine asked to be sure.

"I'm positive, I've only gotten my bills and newspaper I have to fight with the paperboy about," Huey said causing Jazmine to laugh.

"You're still fighting with the paperboy?" Jazmine rhetorically asked.

"Yes, he tries to get money from me and I use multiple attempts to avoid him. I told him he didn't have to deliver the paper, I could get it from somewhere else, but he got upset about that," Huey fussed causing Jazmine to laugh even more.

"This kid has gone so far to the point he followed me to my job and my classes," Huey fussed.

Damn, that was going over the limit—all that over a couple of bucks.

"And what'd you do about it?" Jazmine asked, trying to contain her laughter.

"I went up to his grandma and told her that he was skipping school to stalk me and I even made security aware of him to get him off my back," Huey exclaimed.

"Oh my," Jazmine said.

"I know it was cruel but I needed to get him off my back," Huey said.

"I understand," Jazmine said. All of a sudden I heard Jazmine groan in pain.

"Jazmine, are you okay?" Huey asked, concerned.

Is she okay?

"Yeah, I'm okay, it's just I felt a sharp pain in my stomach," she assured.

"Well, you need to let someone know so they can give you medicine or you can try one of those home remedies. If you put something hot on your stomach it should help," Huey highly recommended.

"Okay, I'll try that," Jazmine assured.

"Thank you...I'll let you get some rest so your stomach can feel better. I need to get off the phone because I have work and school tomorrow," Huey said.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later!" Jazmine said.

"You too, love you!" Huey said.

"Love you too, Huey!" Jazmine said before hanging up the phone.

Wow, this was the first time he wasn't pressuring her with questions. I hung up the phone and lay in bed pretending to be asleep once again. Jazmine came in, right on time, and got in bed to snuggle with me.

My heart kept racing due to overhearing her talking to Huey. That always made my blood pressure rise in an unhealthy manner. This was soon going to have to be talked about at an appropriate time.

Maybe when we head back to West Virginia tomorrow will be the best time. Or if we sat down and had lunch about it.

Yeah, that will be best!

...

The next day, Jazmine and I packed our stuff and cleaned after ourselves before leaving my house in Missouri. Jazmine looked out the window a little sad as we got further and further away from the house. Soon we left the state and we were on our way to West Virginia.

Jazmine sighed, "I'm going to miss this place."

"Yeah, but you could always come back and visit," I suggested. I knew she wasn't going to move to Missouri with Nicholas and me. She loved Huelene, Ebony, and Nicole too much to do so. I didn't want to take that away from her.

"I could, but I don't think that's going to be happening anytime soon," she said which I had given her an odd look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, a little offended.

"It's just...I don't know," Jazmine said, losing words.

That was weird!

"James, I have a question?" She said.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Last night, after we got done doing the dirty, you said something that stroke a nerve in me," Jazmine said, nervously.

"Was it something offensive?" I asked, hoping it wasn't.

"No, it was more something sensitive for me," she corrected.

"Such as?"

"Marriage!" She said, which stroke a nerve in me. Why did I mention that during sex? Well, of course, it's sex and anything can be said.

"Oh," I said focusing my full attention on the road. This was awkward. I could feel Jazmine staring me down and then her demeanor seemed threatening.

An argument about to go down!

"Oh?" Jazmine repeated.

"Yeah, I wouldn't take it seriously, it was something being blurted out during sex. Anything can be said during intimacy," I awkwardly laughed.

"Sure," she said, not believing a word I said. "But it had me thinking about our future. Are you really thinking about marriage?" Jazmine asked.

Why would she corner me like this? "No," I answered. I was not ready for marriage or ever will be with her. If she's talking to Huey behind my back why should I consider marriage with Jazmine?

After all, we've been through, I realized trust was never going to be established in our relationship.

"Is there a reason why?" She asked, sadly, as I could feel her getting uncomfortable.

"Because I know deep down you'll never love and cherish me as you did Huey!" I sadly spoke, seeing the truth.

"What...James, what are you talking about?" Jazmine asked, taken aback.

"C'mon Jazmine, don't play dumb. I hear you secretly talking to Huey at night," I calmly revealed.

"James, it's not what you think it is," she said on the verge of tears.

"How long have you been talking to him?" I asked.

"James," she pleaded.

"How long?" I sternly asked, once again. I needed to know. Her answer will determine her faithfulness.

Jazmine sighed and answered: "Since December."

Wow! So, she has been talking to him while we were dating. And she wants me to consider marriage with her.

How can I consider marriage when she is unfaithful?

"Okay," I said as I continued to drive. There was silence between us and I could tell Jazmine was feeling guilty.

"Is that all you're going to say?" She asked, frustrated with my silence.

"What do you want me to do, get mad and yell?" I exclaimed.

"No, but I want you to say something," she cried.

"Jazmine, I don't know what more I can say or do! I could get mad, but that's not going to get us anywhere. Look at what happened the first two times we ended up like this," I said referring to the time when she left me for Huey and when I confronted her about Archy.

"At this point, I'm not surprised this happened!" I admitted. "But what I don't understand is why would you want me to consider marriage when you do this type of stuff?" I asked.

"James, I don't want you to consider marriage. I was just asking because I was wondering what your views were on our relationship," she justified.

"If you want me to be honest, I was considering it, but you talking to Huey behind my back lets me know I don't want to be married to you," I admitted.

"Why would you consider it, but you're moving to another state with our son?" Jazmine exclaimed.

"Jazz, there's long distance," I pointed out.

"No, there isn't, I'm not doing long distance," she fussed.

"Why wouldn't you want to do long distance?" I asked.

I could tell Jazmine was looking at me as if I was crazy and she answered, "James, I like to see and touch the person I'm in a relationship with. I'm not interested in being distant!"

"Oh, so you wouldn't do it for me, but you'd do it for Huey," I said as she rolled her eyes.

"I didn't say that! You're putting words into my mouth," she sternly denied.

"Sure, I am, but you and I both know you would do it for him," I said being a smart ass.

"Oh my God!" She said, frustrated at my stubbornness.

"Am I right?" I exclaimed.

"You know what, I don't understand you! If you knew I loved Huey and Huey loved me, and I told you I was still in love with him even while we were together, I don't get why you're upset at this point. We wouldn't be in this situation if you just let me go that day," Jazmine fussed.

She was right, I should have let her go. We wouldn't be in this mess if I did. But so many things came out of not letting her go. I got Nicholas and that's something I wouldn't trade for the world. I also got to experience what it was like to have a real family. Although, Huelene wasn't mine, it made me realize I were man enough to care for a child as if they were mine.

"And jeez, why did you have to give me AIDS? Out of all the things you could have done you decided giving me AIDS was a way to get back at me?" She angrily spoke, on the verge of tears.

"You ended my life before it can begin! I'm gonna fucking die young because of you!" Jazmine cried as she started to wipe her tears.

Did she just say what I think she said? Die? Die as in dead! She sounded serious about it.

"I won't get to see my kids grow up, I can't make amends with Huey and my parents, I'm not going to be able to travel the world, or follow any of my dreams," she cried.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to cope with this. I don't want to die just yet, I have so much more to live for!" She said, freaking out as she was hyperventilating.

"Jazmine, calm down!" I pleaded as she kept breathing irregularly. It got so bad to the point she passed out in her seat and I got super worried about her.

"Oh shit!" I cursed.

I rushed to the nearest hospital to make sure she was alright. They had to take her to one of the rooms to check her blood pressure and run a couple of test on her to see why she fainted. I waited out in the lobby for her, nervous, scared, and guilty because I was the reason she had passed out.

This relationship that Jazmine and I have is toxic and tiring. I don't know if I can take this anymore. With her mentioning that she was still sick didn't sit right with me.

Did the cure not work?

It has worked on everyone I injected in, even myself.

All except her!

Why wasn't it working on her?

Was I too later, is her immune system down, was it because she had the twins, why, why, why?

Could William's prediction have been right?

Could it have worked on thousands of people, but out of a few thousands one is resistant to such. Maybe he was right. I didn't know what was wrong with Jazmine's system. It was resisting the treatment. But she said herself she was doing good a couple of months ago. So what happened now? Why wasn't it working?

The doctor eventually came to retrieve me after they were done running test on Jazmine. A male doctor and I were standing outside her room as she sat in the bed perplexed. The door was shut so she could barely hear anything we were saying.

"Is she okay?" I asked as the doctor sighed. I looked at his name tag to see his last name was Johnson which made it easier to reference him, "Dr. Johnson."

"She's fine, her blood pressure just went up," Dr. Johnson assured.

"Okay," I said. He just stated the obvious that happened.

"Although, I do have questions on why she passed out? Since you were with her the whole time," Dr. Johnson asked.

"Oh, well, she was having a panic attack due to her disease which seems to be life threatening," I answered.

"Could this be the AIDS?" Dr. Johnson asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"I figured...I looked into her file and seen she had a history with it." Dr. Johnson said as I had given him an odd look.

"If you don't mind me asking, how is she doing with it?" I asked. I was hoping what Jazmine told me in the car was a lie. Please let it be a lie! She could have been over exaggerating.

"Mr." he said awaiting my last name, "Anderson!" I said.

"Mr. Anderson," he said which sounded weird. I'm used to being called Dr. Anderson, but since I'm out of my profession for the time being 'Mr. Anderson' will do. "Jazmine's system has abruptly been failing," he sadly spoke.

"How could this be Doctor? She's been taking her medicine and doing all the requirements the hospital has asked of her," I said feeling my heart drop. This couldn't be happening right now.

"I'm aware of that, but sometimes you have that 1 out of 100 people whose bodies resist certain medications. It will probably work for someone like you and I, but maybe not her and other people. This could have been due to her carrying kids, a family gene, the fact she received treatments too late, an unknown illness, or her body just resisting it," he explained.

As a doctor, I know all of this, but I was in denial that it could happen to Jazmine.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson, there's nothing much we can do for Jazmine here on out. I highly suggest she goes to a hospital to get proper care," Dr. Johnson suggested.

"Any in your preference?" I asked.

"I suggest she goes to one that offers bereavement counseling. They specialize in helping patients and their family members cope with death," he said as I felt my nerve itch when he said that.

Death!

It gives me chills just hearing it.

"Jazmine needs to be in a place where they can help her cope with death and also keep her blood pressure down. These types of things can't keep happening to her. She needs professional support," Dr. Johnson informed.

"I understand," I sadly spoke.

"I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but the counseling should help you and your family," he said as I nodded.

I looked at Jazmine through the window to see she was laying in the bed. She looked to be in deep thought.

"You're allowed to leave after she's more relaxed," Dr. Johnson said.

"Alright," I said before he left. I went into the room to see Jazmine flitch.

"Hey," I said closing the door behind me.

"Hi," she softly spoke.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Alright," she simply answered, sitting up in the bed.

"Good, good," I mumbled to myself. Jazmine and I stared at each other in silence for a good second until she said: "We need to talk!"

"Yes, we do!" I agreed.

"Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first?" She asked as I shrugged my shoulders.

"You can go first," I said being a gentleman.

"Okay...I think we should stop seeing each other," she said, getting straight to the point.

"Like, in general or particularly?" I asked to be sure.

"In general, I think we should stop talking to each other. This relationship and co-parenting is not working out for us," she said as I felt my heart drop.

"I thought we were doing good when it came to co-parenting," I said as she sighed.

"We were, but there's no point in doing it if you're going to move to Missouri with Nicholas and if we keep having these fallouts. The doctor has already informed me that I need to immediately be hospitalized, James. I don't have much time!" Jazmine said as the feeling got worse.

She and everybody was serious about this.

"Understandable, but when are you going to tell Ebony and Nichole?" I asked as her face dropped.

"I'm having a hard time doing that," she admitted. She's been knowing about this for a while if she couldn't work up the nerve to tell Ebony and Nicole.

What's so hard about telling a person you're sick? It'll save everyone the trouble later on.

"Why?" I asked.

Jazmine started to tear up and shake a bit as she answered: "James, I'm scared to go to the hospital...I know what happens when you go in and stay in."

"Jazmine," I softly spoke, "They're just trying to help you." The hospital services Dr. Johnson suggested was something Jazmine and the other's needed.

"No, they're not, James! I know when I go, I'm never going to come out. They'll practically be putting me on death row," she argued.

"Jazz, it's not death row," I denied.

"Yes it is, everybody knows at this point I'm not going to make it and there's nothing much they can do for me," she stated. She was right! There was nothing much we could do for her. Jazmine was going to die.

"Look Jazz, they may not be able to give you treatments to clear it out your system, but Dr. Johnson told me if you go to one of the services that offer counseling, it'll make it easier on yourself. They can help you cope," I assured.

She shook her head and started to cry once again. This was going to be hard. She started to wipe her face as the tears were sliding down her cheeks.

"They might be able to help me cope," she cried, "but they can't take away the pain I'm going to endure, James."

"I know," I sadly spoke. She was right. No one understood the pain one had to endure. When it comes to AIDS, there's no telling what could happen.

"James, you and I have seen people suffer the unimaginable when it comes to certain diseases. AIDS being one of them. It gets so bad to the point it can spread all over your body and slowly break you down," she exclaimed, scared.

"I don't want to go through that James- I can't," she choked.

"Jazmine, there's no loophole around it! You're not getting any better and it's best to take Dr. Johnson's orders. As soon as we get back from here you need to tell Ebony and Nicole, do you understand?" I sternly spoke. She was trying everything in her power to avoid going to the hospital. She wasn't going to get better and needed proper care.

She didn't say anything. All she did was slightly nod her head. She looked drained and sad. The last time I seen Jazmine like this was when we were in court and I won the custody battle. She was broken, but she was able to recover herself. This time it felt as she was never going to be the same ever again.

"Can we do something before we go back to Virginia?" Jazmine asked as I listened.

"Sure," I softly answered.

"Can we go to Oklahoma?" She asked as I was confused.

"Why, if you don't mind me asking?" I responded. All the places she could have gone to she wanted to go to Oklahoma. What was so so special about it?

"I want to go pay my respects to my great grandmother before I go back to Virginia," she softly said.

"Okay," I simply said. She's going to see a deceased family member. "I'll take you," I said as she softly smiled.


"I had to swallow three hard pills after that...one was Jazmine was still in love with you and she wasn't getting better," James sadly spoke.

"And the third?" Huey asked.

James started to tear up and feel himself choke at the thought of what happened. He found it too hard to believe himself when he heard it. "After we left the hospital, we turned and went to Oklahoma as Jazmine requested. Since she had to soon tell the other's she was sick and needed immediate care, her last wishes were to go to Oklahoma to see her great grandmother's grave for the last time before submitting herself to the hospital."

"It was painful to watch. Jazmine went to the store and bought the most beautiful bouquet of peony flowers along with decorations for the grave. One of the last things she did was pay her respects and redecorate the grave before we left to Virginia."

"Another thing that happened was Jazmine requested something of me that completely caught me off guard," James said, bothered by the memory playing in his head.

"What did she ask you?" Huey asked, nervous at what James was about to reveal.

James wiped his eyes before answering: "She wanted me to do an euthanasia on her!"

After James big reveal, Huey felt a sense of anger toward him. "Excuse me? Repeat that one more time, Anderson."

James took a deep breath, and repeated, "She wanted me to do an euthanasia on her."

"Why-why would she ask you of all people to do that to her?" Huey exclaimed in disbelief. "See at this point, I think you're fucking with me because no way Jazmine would give up like this!"

"Freeman, I'm not fucking with you on this. Jazmine asked me this before we left the cemetery," James exclaimed.

"And what did you say?" Huey sternly asked. He was glaring at James as if he was trying to burn a hole through his head.

"I told her no, of course because doctors were starting to go to jail for doing euthanasia's. I didn't want to be in the same boat as them while I had Nicholas to raise," James answered.

Huey was in deep thought over what James told him. A lot of this stuff that James was telling Huey about Jazmine was getting harder by the second. Some of this didn't sound like his Jazmine. She wouldn't want to give up on life so easily, would she?

"Why would Jazmine want an euthanasia?" Huey asked, confused.

James sighed, "From what I remember she said she didn't want to endure the worst stages of AIDS because she was heading towards that route. Since the disease was spreading through her body and getting to her head it wasn't making it easier."

"AIDS can cause a lot of issues with a person's body and ability to perform their normal routine. I didn't think it would get that bad with Jazmine but it unfortunately did. And I hated seeing her in pain every time I came to visit her."

"How much pain was she in?" Huey softly asked as he could feel his heart beating through his chest.


Jazmine eventually went to the hospital when we returned to Virginia. It took a while for her to tell Ebony and Nicole, but when she did, they had an idea of her being sick.

Instead of going to the hospital where William worked, they took her to a hospital that was further from where they stayed. It required a bit of traveling, but as long as Jazmine was being properly cared for they were okay with the distance.

I thought about leaving and settling in Missouri, but I didn't feel comfortable doing so with Jazmine in the hospital sick. It would be terrible of me to leave her like this. I know she said she didn't want to see me anymore but I didn't think she was serious about what she said.

Before I debated if I wanted to leave I had got a letter mailed by Jazmine a month before she died. An apology letter stating:

Hi James,

I'm writing you this letter today to apologize for everything that happened between us. We were good friends that had a good work relationship until we got tied up into our affair. I'm sorry for turning it into an emotional affair that caused us to go through hell. I didn't expect you to be heartbroken after I broke it off to fully be committed to my relationship with Huey. He was my first love and the man I intended to have a future with. Everything I did was so we could survive in this harsh world. I'm sorry if I gave you false hope with our affair. I didn't mean for it to turn out this way between us. I feel that the only good thing that came out of our relationship was Nicholas. He brought the best out of us! I'm thankful that you stood by my side during the pregnancy with the twins even if I fought you every step of the way. It made my heart warm up when you treated Huelene as one of your own even though you didn't take a liking to Huey. It shows how much of a man you were. And I thank you for taking me to Oklahoma to pay respects to my great grandmother. I just want you to know that I will always love and cherish you!

-Love,

Jazmine

I continued to stay to show support. Every Sunday morning while Ebony, Nicole, and Huelene would go to church I would come to the hospital to see Jazmine. I did this half of the summer before she died.

I didn't bring Nicholas as much because I didn't want him to see Jazmine in pain. Every visit I had seen Jazmine get worse and worse. She started to look different and not in a good way.

Jazmine lost weight, had bumps present on some of her body parts, skin would be a different tone, had fevers occasionally, her memory wasn't doing as well, and she would complain about certain parts of her body hurting.

It would hurt me every visit to see Jazmine in more and more pain. I hated myself for causing this. I always thought of other alternate endings of how things could have played out.

That night she came to my penthouse to break off the affair, I should have let her leave. I shouldn't have injected her with a deadly disease that put her and the twins in a life threatening situation. I should have never let this affair begin in the first place. I should have seen from the beginning how much she loved Huey, but I was too stubborn to accept it due to his poor lifestyle.

I should have never accepted her as a nurse. And lastly, I shouldn't have never messed around with Sarah DuBois. I feel most of this wouldn't have happened if she wasn't in my life.

Every time I touched Jazmine I could feel her getting weak. Sometimes I would see her hold back tears when she was aching. It hurt too much to see her continue her life like this.

With her writing to all her loved ones and making amends let me know she was in the last stage of death: acceptance! She was accepting everything and being head strong about it. All she was doing was waiting to die and time kept ticking slowly for her.

I knew she was in pain!

Was I wrong for considering her offer?

Giving her an euthanasia would make all the pain go away. She would finally join the angels since she made peace with herself, God, and her loved ones. Her sins were cleared and she was forgiven.

Instead of dying painfully, she would die peacefully in her sleep.

The night of August 15th, I was in Jazmine's room. We were passed visiting hours but I stayed hidden in the hospital and used my uniform I had in stored. I had my face covered so that the cameras couldn't detect me.

Jazmine's door was closed for the time being so no one could come in. I was going to open it as soon as I left, but for the time being it had to be kept closed.

Jazmine was laying in bed as I was preparing to inject her with barbiturates. She was staring at me nervously and I put the right amount into the shot.

I looked at her and felt unsure about this.

"Jazz, are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to if you don't want to," I asked to be sure.

"Yes, James, I'm sure," she

I was about to stick it into her arm until something stopped me.

"Jazz, I have something to say," I said as she looked at me.

"Yes, James," she softly said.

I took a deep breath before saying, "I'm sorry for everything that has happened between us."

"James, it's okay, I forgive you!" She assured as I shook my head.

"No, you shouldn't forgive me, you should be mad because I took your life away and I'm the reason you're going to die," I said about to tear up.

I felt Jasmine's soft bony hand slide onto my face. A tear slid down as she looked at me, sad. Another was coming down and she wiped it away. She returned her hand back to my lap and continued to stare at me.

"James, you're right, I should be mad at you and I was for quite some time. But I came to realize I had to stop thinking of all the bad stuff you did and look at the good things. You were the only person one treated me respectfully at that hospital we worked at, you were always kind and thoughtful, you were the only person concerned about my health, you helped me learn about certain stuff regarding to healthcare and medicine, you helped me when times were hard, I was glad I could always call you whenever I needed you, you were involved in my pregnancy, and you helped me raise the twins, I'm glad you treated Huelene as if she was your own daughter, and I'm proud to see the man you have become," she stated as I felt my heart warm up.

"It's easy to think of all the bad stuff that one has done but when you look at the good stuff you see how good of a person they are," she spoke with wisdom.

"Just keep being a good person James and raise our son to be respectful and kind hearted man," she said rubbing my hand.

"Don't worry Jazmine, I promise Nicholas will be raised right," I assured holding her hand.

"Thank you!" She softly spoke. She was about to let go of my hand until I held onto hers a little tighter.

"Jazz, is there something you need to get off your chest before you leave?" I asked hoping she would have something to say.

"What do you mean, James?" She asked, confused.

"Like…how did this all come to be? Your relationship, leaving home, how you were feeling, and why do you want to go through with this?" I said referring to everything that happened up until now. Including her wanting to get an euthanasia.

Everything Jazmine has done has left me wondering what was going through that woman's head the whole time.

What was she thinking?

How was she feeling?

So many unanswered questions that go back to before all of this happened. Most of her behavior could result from childhood which she keeps closed off unless you ask her. She told me a little but not a lot. It had me curious about a lot of things regarding Jazmine.

"Well if you must know…when I was a little girl the closest person to me other than my mother was my great grand mother on my mom's side. She was the only person who looked like me. She didn't have curly hair as I did but most of her features got passed down to me. She accepted me for who I was and didn't treat me differently as my other family members did. She was born and raised in Europe but then moved here and resided in Oklahoma. I visited her very often until she passed away. After that it's as if everything changed," she started.

"What do you mean everything changed?" I asked.

Change? What kind of change happened for her?

"I was a very naive little girl and I had a hard time believing people could be so cruel. Both sides of my family was like this. And the kids at school were no better. They thought I was a freak when I was little. Everybody used to be so disgusted until I got older and they all of sudden started to like my appearance. They compared me to my mother who was a slut. I didn't want to believe she was anything like that. I looked up to my mother and to find out she committed theses acts with other people other than my father didn't sit right with me. I was of course mad but I still loved her. The thing I hated people saying about my mother and I is how we were alike and I was soon to become like her. I tried my best to avoid it but I had these uncontrollable urges. I kept my legs closed and lost my virginity to Huey, but when we got to Washington, all my urges came back and I didn't know how to control it. It felt so good yet so intoxicating to feel the forbidden touch. I didn't like that I cheated on Huey but it came in handy for us. I was getting paid to have sex and that was being put towards our future. At some point I got tired of it and I wanted to be with him, just him, no one else . This was the man who saw me for me and I loved him for that. No man will ever be able to love me the way Huey did and I stand by that," she explained.

She was right about Huey's love. My love and his love were completely different. He loved Jazmine in a way that made her feel complete. I loved her in a way that had her wondering for more. It wasn't complete as Huey was.

"Did you love me?" I thought aloud.

Jazmine looked as if she was about to tear up and I felt her hand tighten around mines. "I did!" She answered as a tear slid down her cheek.

"But why the sudden change in mind after what happened at the hotel? Why did you pick Huey over me?" I asked feeling my heart beat out my chest.

I had to ask. I had to know why she chose him over me.

"The night I returned from the hotel, my mother told me something. I listened to her wonderful insight and learned a valuable lesson from it. She claimed that there are things like homes and hotels. You don't allow a hotel get in the way of having a good home when you have one. You continue to be devoted to your house and construct on it over the long term rather than developing on the hotel, which will only take you so far. It might be hard to notice at first but you'll know deep in your heart what you desire," she deeply recited.

"I wanted a home I could build off on. Huey was my everything! He was my neighbor, classmate, best friend, lover, my home, and the father of my baby girl. We had been through thick and thin together. Yes, I will admit, I emotionally cheated on him, but I knew at the end what I wanted, and that was a home. Huey was my home! And I be damned if I was going to let a hotel get in the middle of what we spent years on building," she exclaimed. I could tell she meant every word because I could see it in her eyes. Her eyes never told a lie.

"If that were the case why consider a hotel and what even started your sex addicted lifestyle?" I sternly asked, confused.

It didn't make any sense that she was saying she wanted a home but she went for too many hotels. Jazmine admitted she was a sex addict and there was no clear reason why.

Before she went, I wanted to know what caused her behavior.

Jazmine sighed, "James this it too embarrassing to say aloud. Even Huey and my parents don't know anything about this."

Wow, not even Huey knows about this.

This had to be serious.

"It's okay, Jazz, I'm not here to put you down, I'm here to try and understand you," I assured as she nervously nodded her head.

"Okay, well, growing up I had a cousin from my dad side of the family that would occasionally visit us. He was a smart, handsome, and ideal man in my fathers eyes. But I hated whenever he visited because he would overstep his boundaries and sexually harass me. I didn't like it and I didn't like my father's ignorance. We didn't have sex, thankfully, but it would have gotten worse if I went to college since I would have been an adult by then. He attended Harvard and my father wanted me to go to the same college as him but I refused to go. There was Yale but he would have just transferred to any of the colleges since his grades were always kept up. I didn't want to be anywhere near him, so I tried my best to avoid it as much as I could," she explained.

Wow, that's gotta be messed up and traumatizing. Her own cousin!

"When he touched me in certain areas it felt nice, but I didn't like that I liked it. It made me feel dirty for even having pleasure in it," she said tearing up.

That's where it all started. Most of the time when the victim feels dirty, they start to let themselves go. Feeling as if anybody has control over them.

"But, James, you have to understand I didn't see or like my cousin in that type of way. I found it disgusting and it bothered me when he did touch me," she said hoping I would believe her. I looked in her eyes and listened to her delivery to see she was telling the truth once again.

"Jazmine, I believe you!" I assured.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that your whole life. I really am, but why did you never tell Huey any of this?" I asked. Out of all the people she trusted, I expected Huey to know and understand since he shows signs of this behavior.

"I was eventually going to tell him, but this happened," she said referring to the disease. "I'll admit, around the time Woodcrest had their block party, Huey and I were having some marital issues, but we eventually worked through it and we were going to come clean to each other about some stuff. that bothers us," she explained.

"Okay," I said.

"Anymore questions?" Jazmine asked me.

"Yeah," I said tapping my foot on the ground out of nervousness. "Why do you want to do an euthanasia? It took me by surprise when you asked me."

"Honestly, James, it took me by surprise just considering it, but I wanted to do it to stop this madness and pain I'm causing everybody," she said letting go of my hand.

What does she mean by madness and pain? She's isn't causing anybody trouble. Everybody understands Jazmine's disease and they're willing to help.

"What madness and pain Jazz? I just don't get you and what you're thinking at this point," I exclaimed.

"James," she said shushing me. "You won't understand what I'm seeing or feeling," she exclaimed. "I hate seeing my loved ones in pain, James. This disease is hurting them just as much as it's hurting me. You think I like to see you, Ebony, Nicole, Huelene, Nicolas, Timothy, Tyrone, and my coworkers and friends seeing me like this?" she painfully spoke in tears.

"It hurt to see Huelene take notice in what was happening to me. She comes here all the time and every time she starts to notice more and more that I'm in pain and that I'm not coming back home. She's sad and I don't want to see my baby girl sad, James. I'm glad Nicholas hasn't come as much to take notice as she did. Then there is Nicole, she gets sad every time she comes here, and I haven't seen Ebony in almost a month because she can't handle the fact I'm gonna pass soon. And Huey, before I went to the hospital, I called him again and told him I was sick and it hurt to hear him hurt on the other line. James, I can't keep hurting everybody! Knowing there is nothing to make this go away shows that my faint is for me to die and no longer be here," she cried.

I teared up a little hearing her reasoning and I understood, now, why she wanted to die. Everybody was having a hard time accepting her deaths and they were trying to go against the laws of death to make sure Jazmine stayed alive. As Jazmine said, knowing that there is nothing to make this disease go away just shows what the future has in store with Jazmine.

"Okay," I said nodding my head as tears started to roll down my cheek. "I understand that if this is what you want and how you feel, I stand by you! I don't want you to suffer anymore Jazmine," I lastly spoke before injecting the barbiturate into her system.

After I was done I slowly took it out and was in shock that I went through with it. I looked at Jazmine to see she was breathing in relief. I couldn't tell if she was nervous or happy. After all of this she was still hard to read.

"Now…relax…don't think too much…go to your happy place…and just sleep! This will all be over before you know it," I calmly spoke as she started to look a little sleepy. I packed my supplies and made sure nothing was left behind.

I got up from my seat to see Jazmine relaxing in her bed. She eased into the comforters and her eyes lid were slowly flopping up and down. I was going to leave and never look back but something was resisting me. I had to say something before I left and would never see, hear, or touch her again.

"Jazmine, promise me when you get to the other side you'll give me a sign that you're alright?" I pleaded trying to contain my tears as I tightened my grip around my supplies.

"I promise, James!" Jazmine softly spoke as a tear slid down her cheek. I leaned over for the last time to give her a kiss on the forehead. Our last kiss!

"Thank you, Jazz, and I just want you to know, I will always love and cherish you! You gave me Nicholas and a purpose to continue with my life," I lastly spoke as I separated from her. I walked away towards the door and was about to leave until I heard Jazmine say: "I love you too, James! Make sure to take good care of Nicholas and please don't let him forget me," she said.

"Don't worry, I won't!" I said before covering my face with the mask. I left the room and tried to keep my composure as I walked away from Jazmine. She was finally leaving and she was going to be in peace.

We left things on a good note and I'm finally glad we got to talk to each other and have an understanding of one another.

I was truly going to miss Jazmine, but in order for her soul to be in peace she had to leave her physical body on Earth.

I believed in God and I believe he was going to take care of Jazmine.

After everybody heard of Jazmine passing, Ebony and Nicole had hosted her funeral in West Virginia. A couple of weeks later, I heard from William that her grave lies within Oklahoma.

Hearing that made me happy to know that Jazmine finally made it to Oklahoma. She's lying with her great-grandmother within the loving state of Oklahoma.

As promised, I made sure to raise Nicholas as a respectable man. It was tough, but we survived. I made friends along the way, was able to start my own firm, and tap into my interest.

When Nicholas went off to college to study law at Harvard, I decided to take the opportunity and study law as well since I always wanted to do it. I eventually got my degree and was able to scratch my goal off my bucket list.

I loved that Nicholas found interest in the justice system just as I did, but I didn't like that he was inspired to do it because of Huey Freeman.

Yes, over the years Huey Freeman became a popular and respected figure in this generation and expanded his horizons as he grew older and wiser. He had everything and I hated it!

I know I was just as successful, but I hated how he got everything, including my son. He had a happy marriage, family, career, business, and life. Huey whole image was the African American dream. After all that happened how can he still come out on top?

How?

I always questioned that. He started so low, yet he build himself up to here with everything.

He had people like my son watching him. Nicholas always kept up to date with what Huey was doing and aspired to be just like him. I loved that he had big dreams but he was inspired because of Huey.

I thought that when I got older Huey would be out of sight and out of mind, but he was always there!

And I hated it!

After 30 years, he pops up on my doorstep looking for answers—pathetic. I still see him as the same nigga from 30 years ago. Nothing has changed in my eyes about him.

And there never will be change when it comes to Huey Fucking Freeman!


James glared at Huey in anger as Huey held his head down. "That's how Jazmine died. I didn't want to do it, but seeing her in pain like that, I couldn't handle it and I had to put her down," James said as Huey all of a sudden started to laugh.

It took James by surprise since it was odd of Huey to be laughing. He had never laughed at something regarding Jazmine. Oddly, it was shocking and terrifying to watch and hear him as his laughs got louder and even more scarier.

"I loved her with all of my heart, but that's what she wanted," James continued as Huey body stiffened and he started to ball up his fist.

"Thankfully, Nicholas and Huelene were in good hands and she didn't have to worry about their safety or their future. They were raised right and they grew to do what they aspired to be. Although you chose to be absent in Huelene's life," James said as Huey continued laughing. Tears started to drop from his eyes and he felt a sense of rage. All that pent up anger he had since he got here was showing.

"But everybody else can think you're Mr. Perfect, but I don't! I see right through you Freeman. You can have all the money and glory you want, but it still doesn't change the low down dirty bastard you are. In my eyes you will always be a nigga!" James exclaimed crossing the line with Huey.

Within a blink of an eye, Huey got up from his seat and launched at James.

James was caught completely off guard by Huey's action. Instead of knocking him down in his seat, Huey grabbed James collar, and picked him up from his seat. He slammed him down on the floor and got on top of him. Huey started to punch James over and over and over again as blood started to show on James face.

He was angry at James!

He misjudged him and took everything from him!

Jazmine…

Huelene…

His future…

And his home…

Everything was taken from him!

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Huey yelled as he punched James again.

"YOU CALL YOURSELF HELPING HER, BUT YOU'RE THE REASON SHE'S GONE IN THE FIRST PLACE" Huey cried.

"ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE OBSESSED WITH HER!" Huey yelled.

"I-was in-love," James said while gushing blood from his mouth.

"NO THE FUCK YOU WAS NOT. GIVING SOMEONE A DEADLY DISEASE, TAKING AWAY THEIR CHILD, AND STRESSING THEM OUT IS NOT FUCKING LOVE. YOU WERE OBSESSED AND A CONTROL FREAK," Huey yelled as he continued to punch James.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT, MAN?" Huey cried as he gripped James collar.

"You think I had a perfect life— you took so much from me and you don't even show any shame in it," Huey exclaimed. Tears continued to slide down his cheek as he grieved.

"You knew Jazmine was my future but you were too much of a fool to see that!" Huey said letting go of James. He stood up from the ground and watched as James tried to adjust himself to his settings. He had had blood all over his face. His nose looked slightly bent out of shape. And his clothes were ruffled up.

"I was no fool," James sternly gushed out.

With no hesitation, Huey kicked James in the face causing him to fall on his side. He was holding his noses in pain as he groaned at the feeling.

"FUCK YOU, JAMES!"

"THIS IS FOR HUELENE," Huey shouted as he kicked James in the abdomen.

"THIS IS FOR JAZMINE," he repeated.

"AND THIS WAS FOR ME!" Huey lastly spoke as he kicked James for the last time in the abdomen.

James laid unconscious on the floor. Huey was rapidly breathing as he tried to catch his breath. He looked at his himself to see he was so covered in blood.

James was doing fine and was going to be conscious in a couple of hours after he got proper rest. Huey was about to leave James mansion to head back to Oklahoma. But that was until he had seen a figure looking him taken back.

Huey took in the appearance of the figure to see that he looked exactly like James, but only had one feature that separated him from the rest—his eyes! Those light green eyes that could catch anybody in a trans.

It was him: Nicholas!

Thank you for reading!