Disclaimer: I do not own Touhou Project as it is owned by ZUN. This also applies to the OCs seen in this fic, who belong to their original creator.


Brolli, after climbing back to the top of the stairs, asked once again for Reimu to train him.

"Train me!" Brolli demanded.

"If you actually donate, then maybe," Reimu replied.

"No fair! But I'm the main character!" Brolli said. "I need to get to training!"

"Yeah right, and I'm the richest girl in Gensokyo," Reimu said. "And this isn't even new to me, so donate or get lost!"

Brolli really wanted to train to show he is the main character.

"No fair! What about telling me the rules?" The Gappy asked.

"Don't kill anyone who can't automatically revive and don't get hit," Reimu explained.

"I see," Brolli said. "So I can kill fairies?"

"Yes," Reimu said.

"Does this include any Youkai I hate?" Brolli said.

"Only if you hate fairies and any youkai who is fully immortal," Reimu said. "Or who won't die from simply getting killed."

"Oh okay," Brolli said.

"Now will you stay for the detailed part of the lesson?" Reimu said.

"And what will it be," Brolli asked as Reimu pulled a blackboard full of writings from…somewhere. "Alright, here's rule Number 1: Don't kill your opponent in the spell card rules, or you'll be marked for death. Rule Number 2: immortals and fairies are the exceptions as they can just come back. Rule Number 3: ?. Rule Number 4: Profit."

"Now THAT'S my kind of rules!" Brolli said.

"And that's exactly what they ALL say," Reimu said. "But here's the actual rules."

She turned the blackboard and it showed so many words on it and some were even scribbles. It was so complicated for a simple Gappy mind that it gave Brolli a headache. As he couldn't comprehend the WHITE damage done to him.

"Ow, my head," Brolli said, clutching his head.

'I hope there is a better incident solver than her,' Brolli thought as he needed a break after this info, and so he decided to leave as Reimu was explaining. But due to the headache, he tripped down the stairs and stumbled, again.

Brolli Owned Count: 10

"And just like the others, he leaves by stumbling down the stairs. Screw him and the rest of his kind," Reimu said. "I am so glad their fates are all the same."


-SpongeBob Narrator: At Least 1 Hour Later-

"And that's why rushing head first and solving everything the bullet hell way is the solution!" Marisa explained.

"Wow, I love the way you think!" Brolli said with joy.

"But seriously, why did you come to me specifically?" Marisa said.

"I think I need better tech. Like, more swords or something," Brolli said.

"I know the person who can help with that," Marisa said.

Brolli perked up.

"Yeah, I know a friend. You can follow me," Marisa said.

"Cool," Brolli said


-SpongeBob Narrator: One travel montage later-

"Wow, such a crazy place this is!" Brolli said as he was at the Kappa Village, which had several technological stuff like tanks and even a UFO (from those Martians).

"Yeah I know, but there's a specific one who can assist you with your little tech problem, ze," Marisa said.

They then went to one of the buildings.


-Spongebob Narrator: One Second Later-

Nitori is playing Mario Kart with Momiji at the Kappa Village in her home. She won.

"Ha! Take that!" Nitori said in triumph.

"Darn…" Momiji said in defeat.

"You owe me 1 year of treats at the bar!" Nitori stated.

"Oh fine…" Momiji said as she got up to leave. When Brolli arrived with Marisa by his side.

"Yo, Nitori!" Marisa said.

"Hi, Marisa!" Nitori said as she then noticed the newcomer.

"I need swords," Brolli said.

"S-Sure th-thing! I w-will give you those swords!" Nitori said, suddenly looking rather shy.

"Nitori!" Momiji said.

"F-For a reasonable price, o-of course!" Nitori said.

"What do you mean by that," Brolli asked.

"1,000$...each," Nitori said while covering her smug grin by lowering her head in seeming shame.

"Oh come on!" Brolli said. "How am I supposed to pay for that?!"

"I-I don't know, I d-didn't come up with the price," Nitori said.

"Can I haggle?" Brolli asked.

"S-Sure," Nitori said. "But w-what do you want?"

"Swords! And I want them to look fancy and cool-looking!" Brolli said. "Make them golden and with diamonds!"

"B-But they would c-cost an additional $100,000 each," Nitori said.

"Yeah, but maybe you could make that one a special sword and give me the steel-looking swords, though!" Brolli said. "At 10$ each!"

"Hmmm…m-maybe I can make them $700 each?" Nitori said. "And the s-special one would be 10,000$."

"25!" Brolli said.

"600$," Nitori said.

"75!" Brolli said.

"555$," Nitori said.

"100$!" Brolli said.

"333$," Nitori said.

"Eh, sounds good enough for me. I can give you all that money in a jiffy!" Brolli said as he gave the money, forgetting that he had to haggle for the price of the special sword, too. So he carelessly paid 10k for that one.

"A-Alright, we have a d-deal," Nitori said.

"Good," Brolli said as he left, with Marisa secretly laughing on the inside at this troll moment.

"We both know that you normally charge us tengus much less, right?" Momiji said.

"Yes, but he doesn't need to know," Nitori said as she looked smug.

Brolli Owned Count: 11


-Meanwhile…-

"Oh, it's you…" Mokou said. "What do you want? I'm kind of in the middle of my midday existential crisis, right now."

"Uh, I want teriyaki fried bird?" Brolli said.

"Sorry, haven't fried that pesky singer yet," Mokou said. "If only I did, though."

She sighed.

"So what's on the menu?" Brolli asked.

"It's written there, can't you read?" Mokou said, pointing to the menu.

"It's in Japanese though…" Brolli said.

"Really? So the translation filter doesn't work on signs?" Mokou said as she was confused. "I better tell Yukari about this."

Then Miko came out of the ground like a Diglett.

"MOLE PEOPLE!" Brolli said.

"A Diglett, ze!" Marisa corrected.

"I'm not a mole," Miko said with a deadpan look. "I'm not a Diglett, either."

"So why did you pop out of the ground like one?" Brolli asked.

"Hermit stuff. You wouldn't understand. Anyways, there is an attack at the village," Miko said.

"Screw that! I don't give a crap about some village! Arturo destroyed it, anyway!" Brolli said.

"What are you going on about? The Human Village isn't even destroyed," Miko said.

"But that's what the video Yukari showed me said," Brolli said.

'Oh boy, that gap youkai showed him that poorly edited video, didn't she?' Miko thought.

"Who's the youkai attacking the Human Village, anyway?" Marisa asked as she was rather curious.

"Oh, you know…" Miko said.


-Spongebob Narrator: One Millisecond Later-

BGM: 【東方】Devil's Go Through the NightdBu

"Fear me! I am asserting my dominance!" Rumia said.

She is holding her sword but is still t-posing. She is in her EX form.

She began to shoot lasers, lasering the trees, houses, and even the cabbage stand.

"My cabbages!" The cabbage salesman said.

"Yeah, no one likes cabbages! They're lame!" EX Rumia said. "Human meat FTW!"

The whole place was shadowed as she then spun around with her sword as she began slicing buildings to pieces all while still t-posing.

She then saw Kenny who was busy touring the place with his buddies…the Youkai immediately stabbed him.

Kenny died.

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"You bastards!" Kyle said.

BGM End.


-Back with Brolli and co-

"Where can I find a good pizzeria?" Brolli aske.

"So you won't be heading to the Human Village?" Marisa asked.

"Of course not, it's destroyed and, more importantly, I need to get trained while finding the pizzeria while I am it," Brolli said.

"Wow, you must have the wrong priorities buddy," Marisa said.

"He watched the video," Miko said. "And he doesn't want to go to the Human Village, he wants to go to the SDM. It's for his supposed purpose of not being like those Gappy Stus who came before him. Even though they all refused to stop an incident in favor of looking for pizza at the SDM."

"Oh…I guess it makes sense, ze," Marisa said with a shrug. "Welp let's head on out of here!"

"Hey wait, I need to break into the SDM!" Brolli said. "And how did you know what I know?!"

"Don't you have those beasts of yours?" Marisa asked.

"I can read desires, that is my ability," Miko said. "But anyway, the Human Village needs saving."

"Oh right, I do," Brolli said. "I never thought about it…"

"I'm leaving. Hopefully, that Youkai can finally end my miserable existence," Mokou said as fiery wings sprouted from her back as she and Miko took off.

"Same! Blazing Comet!" Marisa said as she put her Mini-hakkero on her broom.

"Hey wait, what am I supposed to do when getting into the man-"

Brolli was interrupted as Marisa took off at high speeds.

"Mansion…" Brolli said. "I guess it's up to me to go to the mansion all by myself with my beasts…"


A/N: Yeah, it's time for the Rumia incident as Brolli decides it's a good idea to not go to the Human Village. And yes…Rumia is t-posing while in her EX form, which is way scarier than her other self from Osana Reimu! And Brolli also got out-haggled by Nitori.