"D
Mary did not know if she felt dismayed or relieved when Anne asked her to share a room with her in the queen's maids' quarters. Anne had been away for over a year and though the gossip about her and Henry Percy may have died down, she was aware of the whispering behind her back. She needed Mary there to provide a shield or respectability and so she would not feel so alone.
Mary herself was torn. She and William were approaching each other slowly, having an opportunity to have a sort of courtship their arranged marriage had not allowed for. They were feeling each other out, trying to get to know the people they were now as opposed to the naïve young couple they had been when they first married.
It was easier, though, to spend time apart. For herself, Mary was content to sleep without him. As her pregnancy advanced she became less comfortable, and it was easier to not have William there. This, added to the fact that she was feeling something she had not felt with her first pregnancy: guilt. When she had been Henry's mistress it felt natural to be carrying his child. Now that she had been discarded she felt more awkward, wondering now where she belonged.
Another Howard/Boleyn family meeting was taking place, one she had hoped to be excluded from but she was not to be spared. Why was she there? She was no longer of any use to her family, she was no longer Henry's mistress nor receiving special treatment from him. The baby she carried, whether it was a girl or a boy, would not be recognized by Henry but would be the legitimate offspring and heir of William Carey.
She let her attention drift, not caring to listen to her father and uncle drone on. She wondered idly if the subject of Anne and the king would come up. She expected fully that unless the king had settled on someone new, they would put Anne forward to see what happened. So far Henry did no more than stare, but many men stared at Anne, some of whom might be possible matches.
"Mary, are paying attention?" Her uncle spoke out in a sharp voice, "Do you think the king will acknowledge this child if it should be a boy?"
"No, Uncle, he did not acknowledge Katherine, why would he acknowledge this one? He is unhappy with the queen now that she can no longer have children, and he wants a son but he will not choose mine. He has Henry Fitzroy and is hoping he will live to adulthood Fitzroy is already being treated like a prince of the blood, and the queen is furious. William will acknowledge this child as he did Katherine. I don't think he is pleased that if it is a boy he might be considered his heir, I think he would rather see a son of his own take that position."
"It's just as well," Uncle Howard said, "If the king does have a son eventually, he will want the way to be clear. If that happens, Henry Fitzroy may find himself in an awkward situation, the way will no longer be clear and he may have to step aside."
All the more reason for the king to not recognize this one, Mary thought, I would just as soon have him be free of the taint of royal blood. Katherine will be in a position to make a good marriage and Henry can work at advancing at court. It's not good to be too near the throne and I'll keep both my children away if I can.
"Doesn't it all depend on the queen," Anne spoke up for the first time, "Henry will have to get his marriage annulled if he wants to remarry and the Vatican will be reluctant to agree to that. Wolsey may make promises but it's doubtful they will bear fruit. It's too bad that Henry didn't legitimize Mary's firstborn and boy or not, it's not likely it will happen for this one."
"I'm lawfully married by the Church, so William is the legal father of my children." How many times do I have to say this, thought Mary, there's nothing to play for with my children and thank god for that. "Henry will probably gift you with something once the child is born, and he may be more generous if it's a boy, but it won't mean anything. For me it will mean that I can at last be a wife to my own husband. William aet least will know from now on that what he earns he earns on his own merit, not because his wife is in the king's bed."
"That means nothing," said Sir Thomas, "He rewards and is generous to his favorites. Your husband is a second son, but he is related to the king. When we arranged a marriage with him it was because he shows promise and chose to overlook your past. He has been cooperative while you were the king's mistress, which is what w counted on."
Mary stood up, "I have heard nothing from you except what I have heard before. I am sorry the king has tired of me, but I'm not sorry. He has been generous to William and our family, and all of you are proof of it. He took me back for a while after I had Katherine, which is more than he did for Bessie Blount. Now I'm pregnant again and I think things have run their course. All I want to do is have a healthy child and reunite with my husband. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to rest before dinner. Good day, Father, Uncle."
She left the room not looking back, indeed she was afraid of looking back. Something in her had changed, it was not in her nature to defy her family but she had had enough. She had William, she had her position at court and they could not take it away from her. She was a favorite of Queen Katherine's and she was sure her father could not remove her from the queen's service. If worse came to worse she would appeal to the king, she was sure he might take her side.
She heard the clicking sound of heels tapping behind her and turned to see Anne running to catch up to her. She waited, knowing that Anne had something to say, Anne always had something to say.
"Are you mad?" asked Anne, "Leaving like that? You will anger Father and Uncle, you cannot afford that."
"Can't I? I have done what they said, I gave up my husband and endangered my reputation to be mistress to the king. I had almost three years with him, but Henry tires of his mistresses, as you said, and now I am pregnant with the last child I will have with him. They have no more use for me and I know it, so I am going back to my husband, the husband they married me to. I am done being a pawn for Boleyns and Howards. I am not going to go on progress with the court this summer. I am going to have my baby and as soon as I am recovered I will go to Hever and spend the summer there."
"You cannot want to do that, what about William and your reputation?"
"I am hoping I can persuade William to come with me. We can become re-acquainted and get to know each other, we didn't have the chance to do that before they married us. I want to get away from court, Anne, I don't want to deal with people gossiping behind my back. Henry took care that only a choice few would know about us, but nothing is ever kept secret at court. I am sure that there were a few who knew or guessed," she paused for a moment, "William and I deserve this."
William was not eager to forgo going on progress: it was important to be in the king's company and attract his attention. The king's hangers-on were always jockeying for position and favors and William was no different. But Mary was pregnant and wanted his attention. Even if the baby was not his, he would be able to claim it as his heir if it was a son. Now that she was no longer Henry's mistress they would have a chance to get to know each other again.
Hever was quiet and golden. Here they were free from the king's routine. They woke in the morning, went to chapel then sat down to breakfast. They took luncheon at noon then dinner was at five.
The rest of the day they spent walking, riding while Mary could still ride, Instead of taking their lunch, they'd go for picnics, bringing along Mary's young daughter Katherine whom she had not seen in almost a year.
Mary gave no thought to Henry and her sister. No matter what she hoped would not happen, she knew somehow that Anne and the king were inevitable. Anne would have the sense of importance that she felt she deserved and Henry would have a partner who could challenge him mentally which Anne with her formidable education could.
Who she worried about was the queen. To be Henry's mistress would mean eventually being discarded when he tired of you. Bessie Blount with her beauty and her young son could not hold him. Mary knew she possessed beauty and a sweet temperament that Henry had loved and she could not hold him. And she knew Anne would not settle for being his mistress and face the inevitable. If Henry wanted Anne, he would have to accept the fact that she would demand more.
Katherine, with her sense of royal entitlement, would never agree to step down. It would be unthinkable for the daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella to consent to be put aside. If Anne wished to be queen she would find Katherine an undaunted rival.
And how would she accomplish this? Henry surely would press her to be his mistress, at first. He would not want to divorce Katherine and an annulment would be hard to procure. Henry did not like to be told "no", what he wanted he wanted and he expected to get it. But he would not have reckoned with Anne.
Mary and William lay on a quilt under an oak tree, lazy and tired from a walk and a generous lunch. He pushed himself up and almost shyly, asked her, "Mary; if I tried to kiss you, would you pull away?"
She sat up, surprised, at first not sure what how she would react. She looked at him, remembering how handsome she thought him when they were first introduced. They had made a striking couple and people had nodded their approval at their wedding, and then Henry had made clear his intentions toward her.
Mary sighed, 'No William, I would not pull away," and she closed her eyes as William leaned towards her, She did not flinch when his lips touched and she raised her hands and put them on his shoulders.
He stopped for a moment and looked at her, smiling. He stroked her face with his long fingers, "I had almost forgotten what it was like to have you kiss me."
"I wish were not pregnant, I wish we could make love like we did in the early days of our marriage. I wish I had not been taken away from you, William, I wish Katherine were yours in more than name. I hated them for what they did to us, had Henry not been king I would have hated them too. We were never given a chance to have a marriage."
"We can have a marriage now, Mary. We'll have your two children and some of our own. We'll get them positions at court and good marriages. Since they're bastards they won't be considered a threat. They can live free of being in line for the throne. We'll give them good lives, ordinary lives, and no one can tell us how to raise them."
"I hope you're right, William," she thought, as long as they're Boleyns they won't be safe."
