Cyno struggled to crack open his eyes, his aching body alerted him to the fact that he had his morning training session with Taj soon. Every muscle in his body ached, the pain shooting down his arms and legs. He felt a strange, unfamiliar warmth, an unmistakably human presence pressed up against him. Cyno forced open his eyelids. Faint golden light filtered from a window somewhere above his head, illuminating a room which, at first glance, seemed unfamiliar. A sharp noise of surprise left his lips.

Cyno felt something soft brush against his chin. He looked down and felt his breath catch in his throat. Tighnari lay on Cyno's chest. His long ears, which had pricked to attention at Cyno's outcry, slowly relaxed and flopped over adorably. Tighnari's arms were wrapped around his waist, as was his beautiful, fluffy tail. Cyno felt his heart rate increase, pounding violently against his ribs.

Fuck, he's so unbelievably cute.

Tighnari's ears twitched to attention at the increase in Cyno's heartbeat. Cyno started breathing slowly, in and out, in an attempt to calm himself. But Tighnari was just so cute, and so warm and so soft, that his embrace turned Cyno's brain to complete and utter mush.

Tighnari's long dark lashes fluttered, and he suddenly stretched and yawned, his strong, lean arms stretching along Cyno's waist, and his lips parting. Cyno's cheeks felt as if he were burning up with a fever. He blinked sleepily and removed one arm from around Cyno, so he could rub his eyes. Tighnari fluttered his eyelashes rapidly, then met Cyno's gaze, and stared intently into his eyes, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Then suddenly, Tighnari sat bolt upright and a cry of alarm left his lips. Tighnari's cheeks flooded with colour.

"Um - I - " Tighnari started stammering.

Cyno stared at Tighnari, as all the events of yesterday came rushing back to him.

He recalled various expressions on Tighnari's face. Tighnari's features scrunched up furiously, tears brewing in the corners of his eyes. Tighnari's lips twisted despondently. Tighnari's lips curled back from his teeth in a snarl. Tighnari hardening his features, trying to remain strong to conceal the depth of his hurt.

"Oh -" Cyno said stupidly.

Tighnari ran a hand through his hair and stared down at Cyno, his eyes darting nervously, his cheeks still bright pink.

"Um ... I'll - I'll make breakfast," Tighnari replied quickly, his ears twitching and swivelling nervously.

Tighnari's leapt out of bed in one fluid movement. He shook himself slightly, like a dog shaking off some unpleasant emotion. His ears flopped adorably about his face.

Cyno reached out a hand, as if to hold onto him, to retain the sense of warmth, to revel in the uncomplicated nature of sleeping curled up together, entangled in each other's presence. He realised he never wanted that feeling to end. He could have easily lay there with Tighnari forever, with any inclination to get up not even crossing his mind.

A sour sadness filled Cyno's chest and he felt a sudden lump form in his throat, as Tighnari walked away from Cyno's outstretched hand, towards the other side of his small, yet lush green apartment.

I want to hold on to him forever, but ...

Those I try to hold onto usually don't meet pleasant ends.

Cyno watched as Tighnari bustled around the kitchen.

"I'll help," Cyno insisted hoarsely.

Cyno attempted to force himself up, yet his muscles were so sore, he was barely able to lift himself at all. A slight groan left his lips, and Tighnari returned to Cyno's side in an instant, pressing insistent hands against Cyno's bare chest, to gently coax him into lying down once more. Cyno's cheeks flooded with colour at the contact, at the feeling of Tighnari's rough hands against his chest. Cyno flopped back against the pillows again and met Tighnari's gaze.

Tighnari's eyebrows were creased in a stern frown, and his lips turned down at the corners to communicate his displeasure.

"Do you remember what I said yesterday? You are to relax and let me look after you," Tighnari chided. He flicked Cyno on the forehead lightly with an index finger.

"Okay," Cyno acquiesced.

Tighnari nodded, his eyes clouded over as he seemed to come to sink deep into his own thoughts. Some indecipherable emotion caused his frown to soften slightly. Cyno frowned, as he attempted to decipher the expression on Tighnari's features.

Is he frustrated with me?

I know I never make things easy for others.

I don't even know how to.

Once more, Cyno felt a deep frustration with himself and the difficulties he had deciphering others emotions. He'd never possessed the ability to say the right thing, at the right time.

I just want to make him smile.

I just want to make him laugh.

Why can't I do something so simple?

Why is navigating this world and others feelings so natural for others, yet so difficult for me?

Unable to bear agonising over what Tighnari was or wasn't thinking any longer, Cyno decided to do what he did best. Just bluntly ask.

To think I'm agonising so much over what to do.

I was filled with stone hard certainty, before I met him.

My foundations were utterly unshakeable.

Yet now, a simple touch or look sends my mind and heart reeling into overdrive.

"What are you thinking about?" Cyno asked.

Tighnari's expression cleared in an instant, and his mouth formed a small, surprised o. His surprise then softened into a gentle smile.

"I was just thinking ... " Tighnari started, then trailed off. He bit his lip, appearing to reconsider what he had been about to say.

"About?" Cyno prompted, tilting his head on one side.

Tighnari frowned at that, then released a long, slow sigh. He gripped his chin, contemplating, before he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms and his tail around his legs. His ears flopped over gently against his skull. He propped his chin on top of his knees and stared into space once more, before giving Cyno a sideways glance.

"What do you think of me?" Tighnari asked.

Cyno noted the way Tighnari stiffened his shoulders, as if preparing for a blow.

Cyno frowned. It was certainly a loaded question. Cyno attempted to examine his own feelings: the way his heart raced when Tighnari touched him, no matter how casual the contact, the way happiness swelled his chest full to bursting whenever he saw Tighnari, the fierce surge of protectiveness Cyno felt at the prospect of any harm befalling Tighnari, the way Cyno felt he never wanted to leave Tighnari's side, yet also felt that by staying at Tighnari's side, he would only make things difficult.

It's probably "that" isn't it?

What else could those feelings be?

And yet ...

I can't say it with any certainty, because I barely understand where these feelings come from myself.

"I don't know," Cyno confessed.

Tighnari's ears flicked up and he jerked up in surprise. Then he slumped over again and a bitter smile touched his lips. Tighnari inhaled and closed his eyes, grimacing, before composing himself.

"Right, okay," Tighnari said, moving to get up.

Cyno blinked, and his eyes widened with horror. He grabbed onto Tighnari's arm, instinctively, despite the pain that surged across his arm muscles and shoulder at the sudden movement. He bit back the groan of pain that rose behind his lips.

"I didn't mean it in the sense that I dislike your company!" Cyno blurted.

Tighnari stared at him in silence with wide, surprised eyes. The golden rising sun illuminated the yellow in Tighnari's eyes and softly outlined his delicate features.

"I just ... I feel many things about you, and perhaps they could all be considered to be the hallmark of a particular feeling, but perhaps it could be something else. Whatever it is I feel, it's sure to inconvenience you in some way or another. I'm ... not so good at feelings. My own, or that of others, for that matter," Cyno rushed out, eyes darting rapidly from Tighnari's face to the floor.

Cyno averted his gaze and bit his lip, then looked back up at Tighnari, "I don't know what to do, honestly."

Tighnari's ears twitched. He sat down once more, this time facing Cyno, with his legs crossed.

"I'll ... try to help. Tell me what you've been feeling," Tighnari said, his gorgeous eyes fixated intently on Cyno.

Cyno searched for where to begin, and just decided to go with the sole thought that faced him, as he gazed into Tighnari's distinctive eyes.

"I think you're beautiful," Cyno said simply.

"Oh, I see," Tighnari said, responding automatically.

Then, he seemed to compute the weight of Cyno's words, and his cheeks flooded with gorgeous colour. He sat up straight. He opened and closed his mouth, his ears pricked bolt upright, and he blinked rapidly.

"Um ... I ... what!?" Tighnari blurted.

Cyno nodded, with stone cold seriousness.

"I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you. Your eyes, your arms, your hands, your hair, your ears, your tail. Everything about you is beautiful to me," Cyno confessed.

Tighnari buried his face in his hands, the furious blush on his face intensifying.

"I'm sorry. I know it's embarrassing, or perhaps unpleasant, to know your friend is thinking such things about you," Cyno said.

Tighnari shook his head, breathed in deeply to compose himself, and sat up straight. Despite his embarrassment, his eyes were sparkling with some type of warmth and hope, though Cyno wasn't sure what it meant.

Cyno took this as a sign to continue.

"My heart is always racing when I'm around you, especially if we have some kind of physical contact. I think about foolish things, like touching your ears, holding your hands or ... " Cyno glanced briefly at Tighnari's lips, then felt the blush on his face spread across his face to the tips of his ears. Tighnari's lips parted and he stared at Cyno with unfiltered wonder.

Overwhelmed, Cyno glanced down at his hands in his laps, mindlessly intertwining his fingers, then unravelling them once more.

"But I suppose, the strongest feeling I have is ... I want to make you smile, I want to make you laugh, I desire your happiness and safety above all else. I want to protect you." Cyno glanced up and deliberately sought out Tighnari's eye contact, "Even if that means from myself."

"I don't see you posing any danger to me," Tighnari replied, staring at Cyno with wild, startled eyes.

"Not directly, perhaps. But it is not so uncommon for the friends or family of matra to have some misfortune befall them," Cyno replied.

"So that's why you've been avoiding us all," Tighnari said.

It wasn't really a question.

Cyno nodded.

"Yes, that is correct."

"I'm stronger than I look, you know," Tighnari insisted, puffing out his cheeks adorably.

"Forbidden knowledge has the capacity to harm even the strongest. I believe I have the strength and resolve to protect everyone from it, so I could never give up on this ambition for the sake of a more ordinary life, even if sometimes I want to," Cyno explained, frowning and crossing his arms. "If sacrificing ordinary happiness is what it takes to prevent innocent people from ever having to come into contact with forbidden knowledge, then I think that's worth it. Besides, I'm hardly what you'd call a "regular person" in the first place. I do not feel things as a "normal person" does, so engaging in society as a "regular citizen" would probably be more of a hindrance than a help to others."

Tighnari frowned, his tail swishing back and forth as he considered Cyno's words. He sat in silent contemplation for a long while, before sitting bolt upright and snapping his fingers energetically.

"I think I've got the gist of it," Tighnari said, staring at Cyno with remarkable intensity.

"Excuse my saying so, but I personally believe that distancing yourself from others ... deep down, it's also a way to prevent yourself from being hurt, right?" Tighnari said.

Cyno felt those words as if they were a physical blow, an arrow shot with an archers' precision straight to the vulnerable centre of all the feelings Cyno could barely understand the nature of. Yet upon hearing Tighnari observe that aspect of his behaviour, he knew it was undoubtedly the case. The truth of those words burrowed into his heart and twisted sharply. He grimaced.

"Others don't much like me, so it's for the best, in the end," Cyno replied, averting his gaze from Tighnari's intently observant stare. "I make others uncomfortable and they tend to be ... scared of me, I think. I try to appear approachable and make jokes to put others at ease, though it never seems to quite work."

"It would be generous to call those jokes of yours "jokes"' Tighnari replied, with a wry grin. Cyno smiled slightly as well, though his smile faded quickly.

"But you're not wrong. I convinced myself that refusing to engage with others emotionally was for their sake, and I still believe that in some capacity. However, I did this more to protect myself from the rejection I'm familiar with. So, I confess, when I started getting closer to you ... I was filled with a warmth I've never known before, but also ran away at the slightest prompting. That new feeling of strong attachment ... it terrified me, because you have the power to bring me great happiness, yet hurt we me with such ease," Cyno explained softly, slowly, carefully. He felt as if something in him would shatter if he expressed such feelings in a more assertive manner.

Cyno glanced up then and met Tighnari's gaze with ferocious intensity. Tighnari gazed at Cyno with warmth and also great sadness. Sadness at the walls Cyno had built up to protect his heart from further hurt, and a proud warmth that Cyno has been able to express himself more openly. Cyno reached out and took Tighnari's hands, squeezing them tightly.

"As for what I feel for you, in light of what you have said, I believe I've always known the true nature of it. But ... I don't think I'm quite ready to say it yet. First, I want to apologise, for my selfishness, for my cowardice, for the worry and hurt I clearly caused you and everyone else," Cyno murmured softly.

Tighnari nodded and smiled gently, his smile was soft as the early morning glow of sunlight that surrounded him. Tighnari mindlessly traced the scars and marks on the back of Cyno's hands.

"You have my forgiveness. I haven't acted in the best way, either. I can be quite short tempted and let my sharp tongue get the better of me, so I hope you can forgive me too ... " Tighnari replied, gazing at Cyno with warm concern.

"There's nothing to forgive," Cyno murmured, squeezing Tighnari's hands reassuringly with as much strength as his sore muscles could muster.

"When I have the resolve, and I can tell you properly one day, I'll give a name to those feelings. I won't ask you to wait for me ... but ... if perhaps you feel the same way, I also won't stop you. Though I can't guarantee you will find any happiness at my side,"Cyno whispered quietly.

Despite the solemnity of Cyno's words, Tighnari's eyes were positively sparkling. That warm, brilliant smile that Cyno had always wanted to see directed at him unfurled across Tighnari's lips and he laughed warmly, brightly. Not at Cyno's expense, but simply a pure, uncomplicated expression of his own happiness.

"I believe I do feel the same way. So I will wait for you, as long as it takes," Tighnari murmured.

He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Cyno's knuckles, before he stood up, gently directed Cyno to lie back down, and returned to making breakfast for the two of them.

Tighnari returned moments later with warmed up Pita Pockets and two steaming cups of green tea. Tighnari assisted Cyno with sitting up, rearranging the pillows behind him to make it easier.

The two suddenly started talking, about all matter of arbitrary things. Cyno would make another one of his "jokes", and Tighnari would groan, before his expression of disapproval disolved into helpless, exasperated laughter. Their evident happiness and the animated tone of their voices intermingled with the birds singing, heralding the beginning of a new day.

~~~~~~

A/N

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while!

I've been having a rough time with uni up until now, tbh, but now I finally have some time to write again! Coming back to this fic really reminds me that nothing brings me greater joy than writing, and I really hope to devote myself to it.

I'm not sure when I'll have the next one up, sticking to a precise schedule ended up being too stressful for me, so I'll simply do the next one when I have some free time! Hopefully it will be posted sooner!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you for waiting so patiently!