"It means he can buy the anti-jealousy perk, that's what," Willow said firmly.
"Normally it takes three days for the stamp to finish the bindings," Xander said, "I don't know why it finished Willow's so quickly, I mean it hasn't even been five minutes."
"Let me check the details on your stamp," Giles said, finding the device remarkably easy to use. He brought up the details on the stamp on screen.
"Third footnote," Joyce said, gesturing at the screen.
"Ah, I see it," Giles said.
"A declaration of love, honestly stated, immediately binds the subject with no need for the stamp," Giles informed them.
"Oh dear," Joyce said with a sigh, just before the phone registered Dawn Marie Summers for thirty five points.
"Dawn just told Xander that she loved him," Buffy noted.
"The notice of her capture for thirty five points does point that way," Giles said dryly as the teens entered the living room to look at the screen.
"No sex until you're sixteen," Joyce told her daughter.
"Willow's only fifteen," Dawn argued.
"Yes, and I'm not her mother," Joyce said, "just be glad I'm not more upset and grounding you until you're thirty."
"Why aren't you more upset?" Buffy asked.
"Hey!" Dawn complained.
"No, I'm not trying to get you in trouble, I'm genuinely curious," Buffy said.
"Because expecting Dawn not to tell Xander she loves him for three years is just not reasonable," Joyce replied.
"Two years and three months," Dawn corrected her. "And what if I need those defenses to defend myself?"
"Defenses?" Giles asked.
"Stress and Soul Defense," Xander replied. "Look up Perk Sharing first."
Giles brought up Perk Sharing and they all read through the entry on the screen.
"Intimate act does not strictly mean sex, it's just the easiest and fastest way to share perks," Giles noted. "It's more a show of trust and a baring of soul."
"Yeah, sex is easier," Buffy said. At her mother's look she quickly added, "not that I've had sex, but trusting someone enough to bare your soul..."
"Look up perks that prevent jealousy," Willow ordered Giles.
"That may take a moment," Giles said as he rapidly flicked through menus, "or not."
Love and Compassion appeared on screen, a five point perk preventing jealousy among members of the harem.
"Purchase it," Willow ordered.
"I think Xander has to," Giles said, passing the phone to him. "Why are you purchasing it now?"
"Two reasons," Willow said as Xander tapped the purchase option. "One, Dawn was worth seven times my point value, and two, she didn't even even wait until I had a honeymoon before joining."
"Oh," Dawn said and winced before taking Willow's hands. "I'm really sorry about that. I acted without even thinking about what it would mean to you, but I'm not sorry for loving Xander."
Willow sighed and hugged her. "I so know how you feel, I just wasn't brave enough to make a move until I realized it was now or never."
"Not going to say anything?" Buffy asked Xander.
"Get between two girls I care about who are working out their problems by talking honestly and openly?" Xander asked dryly.
"You don't have a problem with Dawn marrying you?" Buffy asked.
"Just the age," Xander replied, "I've always enjoyed spending time with Dawn and I did peek at the records of the main timeline me. If everything had followed canon we would get engaged after she graduated college."
"What about Willow?" Buffy asked, stunned.
"Some higher powers interfered, throwing a couple of other people in our way and after a lot of drama and a death or two we basically became lifelong friends with a bond so strong it saved the world a time or two and almost destroyed it the same," Xander replied.
"Me and Angel?" Buffy asked hopefully.
"Are an even bigger disaster than I predicted," Xander said. "The death toll never hit triple digits, but it was close."
"What?!"
"I think we need a bit more detail than that," Giles said.
Xander sighed. "I didn't get a chance to do more than skim, but Angel's curse doesn't like him being happy, so it breaks and Angelus murders a ton of people. He gets resoul'd somehow and moves to LA. Buffy's taste in men continues to decline, not that I can throw stones because mine ends up just as bad until we get off the Hellmouth."
"Mine?" Willow asked with a wince.
"A decent guy bitten by a werewolf who goes to the ends of the Earth to try and find a cure so he's not a threat to you followed by an absolute cinnamon roll who gets killed by an asshole with a gun," Xander said. "After that is someone who is a bit of a prick, but gets better as they overcome their insecurities."
"You know our future," Giles said. "Of course you would, there are probably files on quite a few possible futures considering the power of the company if not their reach."
"Surprised me too," Xander admitted. "Of course since I became an agent we are no longer a mainline so things won't follow where they were charted to go. I'm planning to go down through the list and figure out how many baby Hitlers I have to stomp."
The two adults just stared at him in confusion.
Xander shrugged. "Old argument about whether it is moral to kill Hitler as a baby, since at that time he's just a baby and not guilty of the crimes he'll eventually commit. Theoretically I wouldn't kill a baby because of what he might do, practically I apparently have a pair of steel toed boots that have plenty of room to mark the number of dead baby Hitlers stomped to death with them on the side."
"That is a much too graphic image that I am appalled to find I agree with," Giles said.
Joyce winced. "I think stamping them is a lot more humane than stomping them and I'm sure if you can get more information on the situation you can find other ways to deal with them. Of course there are always practical limits to how far you can be expected to go to save someone from their own decisions."
Xander frowned thoughtfully. "Yeah, while the company would probably be perfectly happy for me to stamp everyone and their mother, I should probably hold off until I've considered the moral and practical factors first."
"You also have to take into account the fact that the timeline is going to diverge the more changes we make, so a number of situations will not occur," Giles pointed out.
"The majority of events caused by actions taken from before the divergent point or outside our sphere of influence should remain the same," Willow countered.
"That's what research is for," Giles said with a pleased smile. "The more information we have, the better our own decisions."
"Superpowers first, heavy moral philosophy and boring research parties later," Buffy said quickly.
"Agreed," Xander said, "Let's give ourselves superpowers before something else interrupts."
"The five vials?" Giles asked. "I looked over the entry for the perk, there is some small chance of a nearly unnoticeable mutation like pointed ears or larger canine teeth, but the powers it can grant are very much worth the risk."
"Excellent," Buffy said. "Mom, we're going to go lay down on Xander's enormous bed in case it knocks us out for a day. Any objections?"
"Clothes on, and hands outside the clothes," Joyce said, making the teens blush.
"Mom!" the two Summers' daughters groaned out, before grabbing the other two teens and dragging them upstairs.
"How will we tell what powers we get?" Buffy asked. "I mean, you have the Wild Talent that you still don't know what it is."
"No idea," Xander said, unconcerned. "I guess we'll figure it out as we go along. We can try a bunch of things and see what happens."
"I hope it's something good like... someone help me here," Willow said excitedly as they entered Xander's room.
"Abs of steel!" Dawn said grandly.
"What is with you and abs this morning?" Buffy asked.
"I saw Xander's abs and they are stuck in my mind," Dawn replied.
"That's fair," Buffy said as they all climbed onto the massive bed.
"Teleportation would be good or the ability to walk through walls," Willow said. "If I could actually make myself solid when I wanted to, being a ghost would have been a lot more fun."
Four vials appeared in Xander's hands. "Ok everyone, we want to all do this at once and they probably taste awful, cause these things always do. So uncap and we go on three."
Xander passed out the vials and everyone pulled off the caps, making faces at the thick black liquid. "One, two, three!" Xander called out and they all threw them back, grimacing at the taste before falling backwards, unconscious.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"It looks like our world closely parallels a popular series of media properties collectively titled 'Buffy: The Vampire Slayer," Giles noted.
Joyce sighed. "Somehow, I'm not surprised."
"We should probably start with the movie," Giles decided.
"We should start with some alcohol," Joyce countered, "because I am definitely going to need some."
"You have a point," Giles agreed. "Does Xander have any on hand?"
"He has some upstairs if there isn't any in the kitchen," Joyce said. "This place is really unreasonably well stocked."
"Glad to hear it," Giles said, "I could use a Guinness after today's shocks."
"Not to mention the ones we are no doubt about to be subjected to," Joyce said.
The pair found Xander's kitchen did indeed have their preferred brands and settled in to watch a movie based on Buffy's life.
After the movie
"Setting aside the obvious exaggerations for comic effect, would you say that was accurate?" Giles asked.
"To a degree," Joyce admitted. "Of course that degree is a bit above fifty percent, but not by much. Buffy was never that bad, though her dating history was, if anything, worse than in the movie. The Watcher..."
"There isn't one girl being reincarnated over and over, simply one girl possessing the spirit of the Slayer at a time," Giles replied. "There isn't anything so obvious as a birthmark either and the knife is enchanted not to cause harm... as Slayers often return it on reflex with a great deal of force."
"Did Merrick..." Joyce left the question open.
"Sacrificed himself for Buffy to buy her time," Giles agreed. "It's a Watcher's duty to assist the Slayer to the best of his abilities and his honor to sacrifice his life for hers if the situation calls for it."
"You'd sacrifice your life for Buffy's?" Joyce asked.
Giles nodded. "She's a teenage girl being forced to confront nightmares made flesh and there's nothing we can do to change that. Trust me, the Council would love nothing more than to have the Slayer be a fully trained soldier and not a teenage girl, but as long as they're forced to bear the burden we will assist them to the best of our ability."
"That makes me feel a little better," Joyce said before taking a sip of her whiskey.
"I am very grateful the actors didn't bear more than a very distant resemblance to the people involved," Giles said. "It would have been much more painful if they had."
"Amen," Joyce said and held up her glass to clink against Giles' beer mug. "What's next?"
"The books will probably contain much more detailed knowledge including the thoughts of the individuals involved, however I'd rather have an actual physical book in hand when going over them. I'll have to check with Xander and see if he can obtain them. I'm almost afraid to read the comic books, I'm sure they bear little resemblance to reality, and while the video games might provide some entertainment, they are also likewise distorted by the medium. I believe the TV show would be our best bet."
"That sounds like a good idea," Joyce said. "Let's hope they picked a good actress to play me."
Giles chuckled. "I also wouldn't mind one with a full head of hair for myself."
Joyce giggled as he hit play.
After the first episode
"If I didn't know better I'd swear there were camera crews following us, filming everything we did," Joyce said numbly.
"Their clothes lack the wear of ones worn multiple times and even the men have been under the hands of skilled makeup artists," Giles said, "but yes it is frighteningly accurate."
After the third episode: The Witch
"You should do something about that cheerleading trophy," Joyce said. "I know it was probably just special effects to end the episode on a spooky note, but why take chances?"
"Yes, that is a very good idea," Giles agreed. "I'll have a fake made and switch them out first chance I get."
After the fourth episode: Teacher's Pet
"I know, I'll see to collecting the eggs she left behind if this is accurate and not just done for story purposes," Giles said, making a note of it.
After Episode Six: The Pack
"The children could probably use therapy after that," Joyce said with a wince.
"Possibly," Giles admitted, "but I've kept an eye on them and they quickly put it behind them and regained their former closeness, so I considered the matter settled."
Joyce slowly nodded. "I'll defer to you on that. Maybe focusing on a horrible event isn't the best way to get over it, especially when you can spend time with the people involved and see that their behavior wasn't typical of them."
After Episode Seven: Angel
Joyce groaned. "I just know this is punishment for the biker I insisted on dating in high school over my parent's objections."
Giles wisely remained silent.
After Episode Eight: I Robot
"Dating has changed a lot since I was a teen," Joyce said, shaking her head. "Still, I would advise disposing of that robot, functioning or not, I doubt the demon inside died when it stopped working considering it was trapped in a book for centuries with no problem."
"Yes, that would be a wise decision," Giles agreed, making a note of it.
After Episode Eleven: Invisible Girl
"You turned a teenage girl over to the CIA who is going to turn her into a state sponsored assassin?" she asked in disbelief.
"To be fair we had no idea they were doing that. If they indeed are and it's not just an addition for drama's sake, as I seriously doubt enough people turn invisible each year to have classes in it," Giles said. "I'll have to send a note to the Council so they can look into it."
Episode 12: Prophecy Girl
"She drowned?!"
"Couldn't have been more than a minute or two," Giles said, "and she recovered far quicker than I'd think possible even with Slayer healing."
"Thank god Xander was there," Joyce said, eyes moist, "and my idiot daughter focuses on the corpse. Something is wrong with that girl."
"It's been... nearly six hours," Giles said, shaking his head, "we should go check on them."
"Yes, silence is golden unless you have children, because it means they are up to something," Joyce agreed with a laugh, regaining a bit of emotional stability. "Follow me."
Giles followed Joyce upstairs and into the master bedroom where the children were all passed out on the bed. "Good lord, this is so over the top."
"Agents like their comforts," Joyce said with a shrug as she gently shook Dawn awake.
"Mom?" Dawn asked, blinking as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.
"Had a good nap?" Joyce asked.
Dawn lifted the bottom of her shirt and felt her stomach. "Darn, no abs," she complained.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
TN: "The majority of events caused by actions taken from before the divergent point or outside our sphere of influence should remain the same," Willow countered.
"Only in the short term," Abyssal Angel countered. "The Waves Versus Ripples effect does not counteract the Butterfly Effect."
"What does that mean?" Xander asked.
"The Waves Versus Ripples effect is the argument that changing things in time is like throwing pebbles into the ocean. While the ripples have small changes in the short term, they're overwhelmed by the waves that everything else in the timeline has. The Butterfly Effect is from a short story about a time traveler who goes back in time to see dinosaurs and steps on a butterfly, and goes back to their time and finds out their time period is now unrecognizable. Turns out stepping on that butterfly stopped another critter from eating it, causing it to hunt and eat something else, which something else then did not get to eat and starved, depriving something else of food over and over down the line as each ongoing ripple effect has a greater and greater impact until you have entire herds out of place from where they would be originally. Another way to put it is the butterfly would've flapped its wings after it was killed, altering a chain reaction of weather patterns that would make a hurricane strike where it wouldn't down the line, which now does not happen.
"One would argue that none of that should matter as none of that would effect the asteroid that hits the earth wiping out the dinosaurs, hence the 'wave' in this scenario. But that's what the weather part of the example is for. Both the Butterfly Effect and the Waves vs Ripples Effect are equally valid and both apply. Waves counteract Ripples, but some Ripples are not counteracted by Waves and became waves in and of themselves. As such, it's very tiresome hearing people argue for or against one or the other when both are equally valid and true. You can find worlds where a butterfly has died where it wouldn't have, or someone simply took a breath a microsecond earlier than normal, and for one set of worlds, the difference between them would be so negligible that finding that one micron of difference would be impossible, while with another set of worlds, that micron of difference is why mantismen are the dominant species rather than humans."
TN2: as I seriously doubt enough people turn invisible each year to have classes in it," Giles said.
"Oh there's no need for classes. She'll just get training by some of their operatives who will wing it, while making sure to install a tracking chip in her so she won't be a threat if she goes off reservation. Maybe an implanted bomb as insurance," Abyssal Angel mused. "That's how I'd do it anyway, you know, if I were a CIA handler and devoid of morals."
