A/N: hello. I'm kinda new to fanfiction and I don't really know where I'm gonna go with this story. Hopefully somewhere and just to introduce to the story it is PJO Fanfic about Lightning Thief just we're gonna make him way more badass, slightly more powerful with more affinity to his father's other powers and elements. Also he might know about his heritage before, but he won't train and stuff cos he doesn't know about monsters soooooooooooooo ye. Anyways I hope you enjoy and let's get started!
Disclaimer: I don't own PJO though I wish I could.
Yo wassup people? My name is Blaze Jackson (yeah I convinced my mom to change it since it was a real wuss of a name) and this is my retarded journey through this goofy ahhh universe as the son of the one and only Aquaman (Poseidon). Yeah, that's right I know my heritage (unfortunately). I mean who wouldn't? I can speak to little fishies and horses and they become my minions all of a sudden that I can bend to my will like Voldy with the Imperius Curse.
As well as that water could heal me. You don't want to know how I discovered that but let's say it involved one smelly ass man pig. Also earthquakes didn't have too much of an effect on me and storms. They were like breezes to me.
To top it all off I knew a dead language without me ever learning it, Ancient Greek. As well as that I have dyslexia and ADHD but I'm not sure what to think of that. Thus I figured out withal my badassery and smartery (is that even a word Blaze? Blaze: Shut it b**** I'll make a new one. Me: Chill bro!) I figured I was some relative of a Greek God that likes water which rang bells in my head as old Spongebob.
Now that I've introduced myself (Me: You can do that Blaze? You have manners? Blaze: Come here u motherduckin piece of s*** Me: BAI!) I'll finally start the story of my thrilling and awesome life.
First of all, I have been blessed by the gods with the best mother in the universe: Sally Jackson. She is the embodiment of kindness, and her smile makes me forget I'm in trouble and just (Me: AWWWWWWWWWWWW! Blaze: Kal…. Run. Me: Gladly) calms me down.
HOWEVER and I'm talkin A BIG FAT HOWEVER she for some reason has been blessed with the worst damn luck EVER and has been married a fat, lazy ass, good-for-nothing s*** called Gabe Ugliano a very fitting surname might I add so.
Anyway, the school I go to is called 'Yancy Academy' a boarding school for 'special kids' *cough* retarded kids *cough*. Today we were being sent on a trip to a museum by our Latin teacher Mr Brunner to learn about the Greek Gods.
He was in my humble opinion the only good teacher in the whole damn school as well as the only class I didn't snooze away in. Also it was the only class I sorta tried in since I was pretty smart, but I didn't show it too much.
On the way there a freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl called Nancy Bobofit kept hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich for some weird reason. Now Grover was an easy target for bullies. He was a weak crippled boy with a couple wisps on his chin making it seem like he hit puberty way too early. He cried when under pressure. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.
Growling viciously I stalked up to her and strangled her without anyone hearing her screams with my... methods. Needless to say, she learnt her lesson. We got out of the bus and went inside the museum with old ancient statues of Greek Gods. Mr Brunner wheeled in front of us and started talking about a war called the Titanomachy. As I tried to listen in Nancy Bobofit was talking loudly so that I couldn't hear. She must have been made to annoy for every single second as I soon snapped and whispered angrily "Will you SHUT UP!"
Unfortunately, the other teacher chaperone called Mrs. Dodds heard and gave me a death glare with eyes that could kill.
Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown. From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.
It was a real nuisance. Mr Brunner kept on talking about Greek funeral art. Finally Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"
It came out way too loud and Mr. Brunner asked "Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"
I said, "No, sir."
Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele.
"Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"
"That's Kronos eating... Hades, Poseidon, Hestia, Hera and Demeter, right?"
"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because …?"
"Well Kronos was king Titan and stuff, and he was a real paranoid person, and he didn't want to lose his throne and stuff - classic stupid person - to his kids so he swallowed them. His wife Rhea got real fed up and gave him a rock instead of the real baby which went to live with nymphs or somethin'. Then this guy got called Zeus and went to Kronos and gave him a drink with mustard and stuff, so he barfed up his kids who went to war with him and the gods won. Umm then old Thunderpants cut his dear Father Time into a thousand pieces with his own scythe and that's it, I guess."
Mr. Brunner nodded and said, "On that happy note we will have lunch."
The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue. Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snowstorms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in. Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing. Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.
I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.
Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table.
I was about to unwrap my delicious PB&J when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends-I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists-and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.
"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spraypainted her face with liquid Cheetos.
I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears. My water powers reached out grabbed her and dumped her in the fountain.
"And don't get up worthless piece of life." I whispered angrily.
Nancy was sitting in the fountain crying her eyes out with fear but honestly I didn't give a fuck. You don't mess with me OR my friends or you get a knuckle sandwich by yours' truly.
Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us. Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"
"-the water-"
"- like it grabbed her-"
I knew I had gotten myself in inevitable trouble after Mrs. Dodds gave me a creepy smile. I just smirked. It's not like she can do anything about my behavior. Worst to worst I get expelled. As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me.
There was a tri-umphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-"
"Don't call me honey you crazy old witch." I cut her off ruthlessly (Me: Sure bro surrre. Wait how is that even possible? Blaze: I'm just that awesome.)
"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said in a demanding tone. I rolled my eyes as I started to follow her but then was halted.
"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her." I raised an eyebrow questioningly. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death. She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.
"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.
"But-"
"You-will-stay-here." Grover looked at me desperately. "It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying." "Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now." Nancy Bobofit smirked.
I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.
How'd she get there so fast?
It felt off and my instincts were screaming at me.
However I kept my cool and walked up to her and went in the museum.
Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.
But apparently that wasn't the plan. I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section. Except for us, the gallery was empty.
Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.
Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds.
Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...
"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.
"Yeah, and you old hag?" I replied snarkily.
She snarled, "You will pay for what you have done you disrespectful boy. Did you really think you could get away with it?"
The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.
I stared at her confused.
"What the f*** are you talkin' about? Get away with what? Those candies I was selling? A man needs to make him money y'know." I huffed out, "It's an important part of my business. I need to keep making $10 a week. It is my job to supply. Ohhhhhhhh I see. Your jealous of my candies and my money since its more than your salary." I mocked
"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said with a furious eye twitch. It was like she was working out her eyes. I swear I saw some muscle. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."
"Suuuuuuuuuure you old bat." I laughed
"Your time is up," she hissed.
Then the weirdest thing happened.
Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings.
She wasn't human.
She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.
"Ha, I knew I was correct about you being a hag and bat! You know I should have made a bet about that with Grover"
A second later, Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand. "What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air. Mrs. Dodds lunged at me. With a look of surprise, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword-Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.
"That is one good looking sword you have sir." I whistled examining it.
She snarled, "Die, you f****** cretin!"
"I think you have some anger issues y'know. Do you want to book a therapy session with me? It costs $5 dollars per session. What a bargain! I've been giving some to a few local people and they tipped me 50%! I also have a 5-star review on my website!"
"Shut up you annoying bastard!" she growled probably pissed as hell and then dived at me.
Even though I wouldn't like to admit it, absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.
The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!
Mrs. Dodds was a sandcastle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.
I was alone.
There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.
Mr. Brunner wasn't there.
Nobody was there but me.
My lunch must've been contaminated crack or marijuana for this to happen.
I went back outside.
It had started to rain.
Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt." I said, "Who?" "Our teacher. Duh!" I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about. She just rolled her eyes and turned away.
I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was. He said, "Who?" But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.
"Grover you motherf***** you know EXACTLY what I'm talking you about and don't try and hide it you are shit at lying."
He sighed in defeat. "Fine, I guess it is time."
