Epilogue

~Bella~

Day Nine and Ten:

San Francisco International Airport

San Francisco, California

The drive to get Jasper some help was only about fifteen to twenty minutes away. Thankfully, the bullet had only made an entry wound, so there was not too much blood loss. He walked into the ER with an agreed-upon story that it was from a hunting accident. The nurses and doctors didn't care how it happened and removed the 22-caliber bullet. Jasper got two stitches and an antibiotic prescription.

Doc, Sam, and Jesse stayed behind to dispose of Elena and Lado by burning the SUV and their bodies. Edward's old SEAL crew were well-trained and had ways of destroying evidence and hiding the dead's identities, making it harder for law enforcement to solve the case. It also helped that it happened on the reservation. The tribes had their own laws, and I doubt they would give two shits about "La Reina" Elena, her lackey, and the Mexican Baja cartel.

However, staying in the country would be a mistake, so once Jasper was discharged from the hospital, Edward sped home, and I called the airline to get us tickets.

We had to fly out of San Francisco, and the earliest I could get was the following day, around eleven in the morning. That gave us time to get packed, settle any loose ends, and make the eight-hour drive to San Francisco. It was a lot of money to fly from California to Indonesia, but what choice did we have?

Spin had my men's accounts already set up, and Jasper had a small village in mind. He spent last year there creating a clean water system and schools, and he built a small hut on the beach. How long would we stay there? I didn't know, and the only thing that made me sad was that I couldn't call Charlie, my mom, or Rose.

It was too dangerous.

Once we were on the plane, Bella, Edward, and Jasper were gone, entirely disappearing from the face of the earth. It had to be that way. Otherwise, the fear that someone might look for us would constantly be on our minds, and we needed peace.

As we sat in first class and the plane's nose tipped upward towards the sky, I looked down at my hands intertwined with Edward and Jasper. There were things I wanted to get off my chest about my time in captivity, what Lado had done to me, and what my men had done for me. Each time I opened my mouth, words failed me. Maybe it was too soon to get into the heavy stuff; it had been less than forty-eight hours since then, and we barely had time to breathe properly. I hoped to heal from everything, but the road ahead seemed long.

Edward whispered, "Rome wasn't built in a day."

I turned my head toward him and raised my eyebrow. "You reading my mind again?"

He said, "You're fairly easy to read." His lips twitched at the corners as he fought back a smile.

Jasper was sleeping deeply beside me. I tucked a strand of his curly hair behind his ear. My heart ached for him.

Edward said, "This is the first time he's slept in days."

"I had figured as much," I said, remembering how, when we first reunited, I saw the deep purple bruises under his eyes.

Edward gently took hold of my chin and redirected my attention back to him. He tilted his head and really looked at me. So many thoughts ran through his mind that I couldn't quite grasp all of them.

"I'm sorry I let you out of my sight that day," he said, his voice so sincere and broken that it fucking killed me.

I shook my head. "You couldn't have known they would lift me."

"No, Bean," he said, half-huffing and exasperated with himself. "I did know. But I thought Frankie would be enough to keep you protected."

I murmured, "They killed him."

He nodded. "I think so, but without a body, he's just missing."

Guilt overwhelmed me because I should have stayed home that day; I did not need to go to the mall.

"Don't do that," Edward said harshly, forcing my gaze back to his eyes. "You didn't know there was danger. We downplayed everything to protect you. Fuck." He hissed. "Hindsight is twenty-twenty, right?"

"I wonder what would have happened if they hadn't taken me—like if they didn't know they could control you through me."

Edward answered immediately and without hesitation. "They would have cut off our heads."

My hand flew to my throat. "Just like that?"

"Yes, no question. They knew Jasper, and I would run, and kidnapping you was the only way to get us to comply. If you hadn't existed, they would have had no bargaining chip and probably cut their losses. I mean, they wouldn't have Jazz's primo, but neither would anyone else."

And that's when I made peace with what had happened to me.

"So, maybe it was a good thing they took me," I said.

Edward shook his head. "No, absolutely not."

"But you said they would have killed you if it weren't for me, so my being taken, like...it bought you some time, right?"

His eyes scanned my face, noting the bruises, and then my wrists, noting the red and irritated skin from the ties, and then he stared directly into my eyes. He read my thoughts, seeing the pain and shame there. That solidified his decision, and he shook his head. "No," he said firmly. "I would rather be dead than have you go through what you went through."

And that pissed me off. "Well, I would rather have gone through what I went through than have either of you two dead, so fuck you!"

"Fair enough." He chuckled and pulled me into a kiss. "What a bunch of fucking martyrs we are."


One year and one month later, after day ten:

Sulawesi, Indonesia, Mamasa Valley

Living in Indonesia was an adjustment, and the trauma we experienced back in Laguna took some time to heal. Edward was the one who aided Jasper and me. He was the least phased by what happened. In his mind, being under Elena's thumb and having me gone for a year would have been the bigger tragedy. The heist, explosions, and Alex's gruesome death were a slow day in Iraq. Edward was immune to the horror but had been living with PTSD for years, fighting to survive the triggers and nightmares.

He was patient and understanding with Jasper and me. Never once did he not listen or discount our trauma. It killed him to know how we were mentally. Edward once said, "I wanted to see the world through your eyes, not have you see it through mine."

The nightmares started for me a few months after we arrived in Indonesia. All the memories I had suppressed attacked me in my sleep. I often would wake up drenched in sweat, screaming and crying. I wouldn't remember what scared me, but that feeling of doom would persist long after I had awoken. Edward and Jasper would hold me until I calmed down. They assured me that I was safe and home with them.

I had never, and would never, tell Jasper and Edward about Lado. It would hurt them more than it would heal me. So, I made peace with that part, admitting it wasn't my fault and knowing it was just my body and not my soul. That part of me belonged to my men.

A few weeks would go by, and I would be okay. Then, for some reason, Elena's words would haunt me: "They may love you, but they will never love you more than they love each other. Why else would they share you?"

How many times have people expressed that sentiment to me over the years? Too many times to count, but their opinion was never valid. They didn't know what we had or how we shared each other's hearts, and yes, it was unconventional, but it was ours. That's how I always saw it, and somehow, that one sentence wrecked me, and I started to look at my men with a speculative gaze.

And I started asking myself:

Did Elena have a point?

If it came down to it, would they choose each other over me?

But then, I hated myself for even thinking that way because it wasn't true. Jasper and Edward risked everything to get me back from Elena's clutches.

I couldn't forget that Elena was evil, and her manipulative words meant nothing.

Eventually, that insecurity lessened, and even the nightmares disappeared. It looked like I was fast-tracking my recovery. Our spirits were up going into the new year, and we had a perfect Christmas. Jasper made his famous blueberry pancakes, we exchanged gifts, and after dinner, we built a fire on the beach.

The herbs and stars were magical.

But by the beginning of the year, PTSD struck again, and Jasper had a rough go of it. The shit he did with Alex and the Baja Cartel slowly ate away at him. He hid his guilt and shame from me but would confide in Edward, which hurt.

Like, why wouldn't he want to unburden himself to me?

That part of him sacrificed was because of me. I had tried to hold him and help all those evil thoughts disappear, but Jasper acted like nothing was wrong.

My old insecurity was rearing its ugly head again and making me feel like an outsider.

An intrusive thought hammered at me:

If Jasper couldn't trust me as much as he trusted Edward, what was the point of my being there?

In sheer insanity, I packed a suitcase and decided I would take a ferry to a neighboring island. I would stay overnight in a hotel and then fly to America the following day. Hell, I wouldn't even leave a note; I'd just fucking disappear. It was childish, but I wasn't thinking clearly, and my hurt fueled me.

However, I barely reached the road before Edward and Jasper caught up.

The confusion on their faces would have been funny and cartoonish if I hadn't acted like a brat. Their heads and eyes were in sync as they bobbed back and forth between the bag in my hand and the pissed-off attitude scrunched up on my forehead.

Jasper asked, "What is this?" as he gestured to the suitcase.

Edward said, "It's nothing." As he took it from me and headed inside the hut.

"Edward! Damn it! Ugh!" I threw up my hands and glared at Jasper. "I'm going home."

He said slowly, "But you are home."

Folding my arms over my chest, I shook my head defiantly. "You don't make me feel like it."

It was a hurtful thing to say, and that was the point, but the only person insecure in our relationship was me.

"Oh, Bean," he said, taking a step toward me, which I allowed, because, at that point, I was starving for his affection. "You think I don't know you?"

"You know me because I tell you everything," I said, my eyes flickering up to his light blue ones. They were intently staring into mine. I felt too vulnerable. "However, I know nothing about you."

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean? You know me inside and out."

"You're always telling things to Edward, but never me," I said, and he listened, processing the meaning of my words.

It dawned on him, and he smiled sweetly. "Do you remember that night I woke up around three, and you came out to the kitchen, and we had hot cocoa?"

That was a few weeks into the new year when Jasper struggled the most. Things were still a little shaky, and we tiptoed around each other, but I remembered us laughing for the first time since it all happened.

"Yes, but we didn't discuss your feelings."

"Baby, like I said, you know me," he whispered, grabbing my hand and leading me back to the hut. "You know I've been fighting with the shit I had to do, and the fact that you're there to comfort me after a bad dream and sit and laugh at stupid shit is way more than what Edward could ever do."

"Have you guys talked about Alex?" I asked in a quiet voice.

Jasper took a deep breath and nodded. "The day it happened."

"But what about after that?"

"No."

"Really?" I said, genuinely surprised, and he chuckled. "What?"

"You really thought you had to leave us because I talked to Edward more than you?"

My face got all hot with embarrassment. "It was just something Elena said to me, and I let it get into my head."

"What was it?" Jasper asked, and so I told him. He stopped us at the door before we returned inside and cupped my face. "There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills."

It had been a long time since he'd spoken like that, and tears sprang to my eyes. "Buddha."

"She didn't fucking know us, Bean. We know us. We know what we are. Right?"

I nodded and smiled as he leaned forward and kissed me.

I apologized for overreacting, explaining that my emotions had been all over the place lately.

He said, "Maybe you're pregnant."

It was a fucking lightbulb switching on. "What?"

"What?" he repeated.

I gulped as butterflies fluttered in my stomach. "I'm late," I said.

His eyes widened slightly. "How late?"

"About four weeks."

"Four weeks?!" The shocked expression slowly morphed into a smile. "You didn't think to tell us?"

The more I thought about it, my mood swings, slight nausea in the morning, tender breasts, and particular aversion to some of my favorite foods all became so fucking obvious. "I just…wasn't paying attention."

Edward decided to pop his head out the door at that moment. "What's going on?"

I paused and nervously bit my lip, almost too afraid to tell him.

Jasper slapped his hand on Edward's shoulder and grinned from ear to ear. "We're leaving for Jakarta!"

That meant something to him, and Edward's head snapped toward me. "How late are you?"

"Four weeks?" Jasper practically shouted. His excitement startled me, but the train left the station, and he was off. "I'm going to go pack up some stuff."

Jakarta was the capital of Indonesia and a vast city. It had restaurants, hotels, tourist attractions, and grocery stores that sold pregnancy tests.

Edward said, "Are you sure?" His tone was so subdued and severe.

Again, I nervously chewed on my bottom lip, terrified of his thoughts. "I haven't really kept track of it." That wasn't a lie. "But," I pulled out my phone and opened the 'My Period' app, "according to this, I'm actually five weeks and four days...pregnant?" My voice trailed off as I realized the possibility of pregnancy was fucking high. "Shit."

Edward whispered, "Five weeks."

"Almost six weeks," I said. For what fucking reason, I didn't know. Probably shock.

Before I knew it, though, he had his hands on my neck and his lips on mine, kissing me so deeply that my heart stopped for a second. When he pulled away, the smile on his face was unlike anything I had ever seen from him. It confused me and, of course, overwhelmed me because my emotions were close to the surface, and anything would trigger the waterworks.

So, I burst into a laughing, crying fit. "You're not mad?"

"Mad?" he asked, frowning. "Fuck no, baby." His voice softened as he placed a hand on my stomach. "Far from it."


Two to maybe three years after day ten:

Sulawesi, Indonesia, Mamasa Valley

Our son, Cove Peyton Cullen-Whitlock, was born on April 9th at six in the morning. He had all ten fingers and all ten toes, weighed seven pounds, and measured nineteen and a half inches long. He had a full head of curly blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes could change over time, but regardless of all that, I knew the moment they put him in my arms that Jasper was his father. It was hard to deny it. Cove took after him in every single way. Plus, he was such a breeze to carry all nine months. I barely got sick, no food was really off limits, and he came when they said he would come. The doctors didn't have to induce me, and the labor was super easy. I went into labor around eleven in the evening, and boom, seven hours later; he was there.

I wasn't too surprised to see Jasper take to Cove. The man was born to be a father. He didn't shy away from helping me change Cove or getting up in the middle of the night to feed him. I was breastfeeding, but he encouraged me to pump my milk.

"You need sleep, baby," Jasper would say when I tried to protest.

He liked that alone time with Cove. That's when he would talk to him about Buddhism and its teachings. I wanted to put that piece of Jasper we had lost into our son. In a way, it was never gone; it was just set aside for our future.

Edward, for his part, loved Cove because he was a mini-Jasper. Even before our boy could stand, Edward taught him how to surf. It warmed my heart to see them bonding. I had been worried that Edward wasn't the father type and would be indifferent toward Cove. However, how he treated me when we found out we were pregnant and doted on me throughout my pregnancy indicated that assumption was way off.

Both Edward and Jasper spoiled me so much that I wanted to become one of the Duggars who spent more time pregnant than not. Anything I wanted, they didn't hesitate to get for me. It made carrying this little bundle of joy for nine months an absolute breeze.

As Cove got older, his hair became blonder and curlier, and his eyes lost their newborn darkness, becoming a lighter shade similar to his father's. He was brilliant and articulate by age two, and his favorite activity was surfing with Edward in the mornings.

I loved watching Cove come into his own personality. It was such a mixture of Jasper and Edward. He was sensitive and introspective but also a no-nonsense kind of kid. His bullshit detector was off the charts, and he would come to me when he saw someone lying - because, as independent as Cove was, he wasn't disrespectful toward adults.

Our son had good manners, first and foremost.

As happy as we were raising him, Edward still wanted another child. I did too, but I wanted to wait until Cove was a bit older and closer to being in school.

Even though I had my husbands help, I didn't want to have a newborn and a toddler to care for - especially since my second pregnancy wouldn't be as easy.

However, Jasper and Edward wore me down, and we started trying right after Cove turned three.


Five years after day ten:

Bali, Indonesia

After my men saved me and Jasper was released from the hospital for his bullet wound, we left Laguna and didn't look back. The village, Mamasa Valley, was small and didn't have all the luxuries of home, but Jasper was building a clean water system, planting crops, and building a house near the beach. He was right, though; we loved it there. The people were friendly and genuine and family-oriented. The ocean was gorgeous and serene, and the stars were bright and continued forever. It felt like camping, but after everything that went down with the Baja Cartel, it was necessary to stay under the radar for as long as possible.

We disappeared, and for the first couple of years, I wasn't allowed to call Charlie, Renee, or Rose, and Jasper didn't even tell his parents. It was like we died that day in Banning. When it was safe enough to contact anyone in California, a year or so after we left, we did. Jasper and Edward needed to sell their house and liquidate all their assets. We were expecting Cove and needed the extra cash flow, but mainly, why would we continue to keep our roots in Laguna? We were happy in Indonesia and had no reason to return.

When Jasper did go back to Laguna, it was only for a short time. He had to sign papers to finalize the house purchase, but after that, he was to get the hell out and back to Indonesia. However, he had contacted Charlie because of me. I wanted to ensure he was okay, and my men wanted to know what had happened to Dennis. Charlie told Jasper that Dennis' wife had died, and shortly after that, he had taken his two daughters out of the country. No one knew where he was, and no one cared. As Jasper put it, "No one wanted Dennis."

Charlie assured Jasper that the cartel had changed so much that no one was looking for us. Not to mention, weed was getting close to being legalized, and it was a dying business. The Cartel had moved on to a synthetic opioid called Fentanyl.

However, people still talked about Jasper and Edward's herb. It surfaced now and then over the years, but it was rare, and nobody ever shared when they came across it.

When Jasper returned home from Laguna, I bombarded him with questions.

I asked, "How is he?"

He smiled and caressed the side of my face with his fingers. "Charlie misses you."

"I miss him."

"He understands why you can't contact him."

"Maybe one day," I said hopefully.

He said, "Maybe it will happen sooner than you think."

That day eventually came several years later.

You see, I was eight months pregnant and couldn't fly out to see everyone in California, so we invited everyone we loved to celebrate Cove's fourth birthday.

We decided to host it in Bali instead of in our little village. Bali was more of a tourist destination with shops, hotels, and restaurants, but mostly, it was an extra precaution to keep our home safe. We had learned from previous experience that assuming you weren't being watched was a mistake that almost cost us our lives.

Although it was bittersweet, I was excited for Cove to meet his grandparents and for them to meet him as well. They had just learned of his existence last year.

Esme and Carlisle insisted on paying for their airfare and hotel stay, as well as Charlie and Renee's. I tried to argue against it since they were our guests, but my pleas fell on deaf ears.

And before they left, I wanted to reveal the gender of our second child. The doctor gave me the envelope a few weeks ago, and I wanted to wait until everyone was gathered to open it.

I was hoping for a girl for a few reasons. One, because Cove was a boy, and I thought one of each would be great; two, Cove had been begging me for a baby sister since he could talk; and three, I wanted to see Edward's bronze hair and green eyes on a girl.

Granted, that wasn't how genetics worked, but Cove was a copy-and-paste version of Jasper, so I was hoping that would happen again. We even made sure it was Edward's baby this time. No unprotected sex with Jasper until I was pregnant. It took only three months. Edward picked out a name for a girl early on too.

It was about six and a half months into the pregnancy, and I was starting to get my appetite back, so I was eating everything in sight. Edward sat with me at the counter one evening as I slurped down some pasta.

He looked nervous, which was cute to me because that rarely happened. It took him forever to say anything. All he kept doing was running his hands through his hair – which he had allowed to grow out – and it was thick, beautifully bronzed, and chaotic. After a while, I decided to put him out of his misery.

I set my fork down and smiled. "Come on, out with it."

He returned my smile and placed his hand on my belly. "So, have you thought of any names yet?"

"Honestly? No, not really. I considered "Demon Child" if my morning sickness continued."

Edward chuckled. "Demon Child Cullen-Whitlock? That's a mouthful."

I asked, "Have you thought of a name?"

"If she's a girl," he said with a shrug.

My hand went over his on my belly. "If she's a girl?" Not it but she. "That sounded pretty confident."

"It's always a little girl in my dreams," he said offhandedly as if that weren't a huge deal.

It piqued my interest. "What does she look like?"

"Beautiful."

"Of course, she will be, but did you notice her hair color and eye color?"

"My hair and your eyes," he said.

I frowned. "That's a bummer."

"Why?"

"I wanted her to have your eyes," I said.

"No, Beth has to have your eyes," he said.

I smiled. "Beth?"

Edward realized his slip and blushed. "Short for Elizabeth?"

It clicked for me. "After your mom."

"Only if it's okay with you and Jasper," he said, and the way his face looked so hopeful and vulnerable, there was no way I could say no - nor would Jasper.

"And if she's a him?"

"That's up to you two," he said.

Jasper had been adamant about naming our son, so we went through several baby books together. Cove was the one we both liked. Edward chose the middle name after some football player, and that was how we ended up with the tongue twister Cove Peyton Cullen-Whitlock.

Whatever, it fits the kid.


The day Jasper went to pick up our parents from the airport, I was a nervous wreck and couldn't sit still. Edward and Cove laughed at me, occasionally both telling me, "You need to chill, mama." Yeah, they were right, having me stressed out wasn't good for me or the baby, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't the same Bella from five-plus years ago. Besides the prominent outward characteristics like my brown hair, the inner me differed. The hippy, California girl who was so easy-going was gone. I had a quieter way about me. We all did, to be honest. The trauma changed from free-spirited kids to constrained and conventional adults. It made me feel like, with one look, they would see the scarlet letter on my forehead, and I wanted to protect them from knowing the truth.

Charlie was the only person who knew why we left, but Renee and Jasper's parents believed we decided to join the Peace Corps or something similar to that. Since Jasper was a shameless tree-hugger, everyone accepted that all the while not asking why Edward and I would join him. It was amazing that most people would believe what you told them. It was the untrusting kind, like Edward, who didn't go along with the initial story. He would often speculate and assume someone was lying.

Bing.

Edward pulled out his phone to check the new message. "They're here," he said.

"Great." I was sitting in a chair across the room with Cove on my lap.

He was playing on his iPad while my hands played with his hair. It was midway past his shoulders and needed a cut, but I couldn't do it. The tips were his first hairs and the only thing left over from being a baby. Besides, Cove was a surfer dude, and his long locks went with that whole vibe.

"Why are you so nervous?" Edward asked as he walked over to me. He hoisted Cove off my lap and set him back on his feet. "I thought you wanted to see them."

"I do," I said, and it was the truth, but these nerves were overriding every other emotion. Edward grabbed my hands and helped me off the chair. My belly was throwing everything off balance, and seeing my feet anymore was impossible. "It's just...I don't know why."

"Mama, look," Cove said as he lifted his iPad and showed me his high-rank score, "I won."

"Good job, baby," I said, placing my hand on his head and pulling him to me, but I felt Edward's speculative gaze. "What?"

"Nothing, I just know the feeling," he said, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind my ear. "You're afraid that they will see right through you."

I gulped. "They will, won't they?"

Edward thought about it a lot longer than I liked. "No, they won't, and it's only because people avoid the bad. If they see the pain in your eyes, they'll side-step and pretend it doesn't exist."

It was a relief, but then I scoffed. "Charlie won't."

Edward smiled, placing a hand on the back of my neck and bringing his lips to my forehead. "Don't worry so much," he whispered.

Bing.

He groaned and rechecked his phone. "They're in the lobby, and Jasper wants us to meet them there."

"Right," I said, nervously smoothing out my dress. "Cove, baby, put up your iPad, okay?"

"Okay, mama," he said, saving his game quickly before setting it on the table. He grabbed my hand, which I offered him. "Are we meeting my nannas and papas now?"

"Yes, we are. Are you excited?" I asked, gazing down as Cove looked up.

His ocean-blue eyes were wide as he smiled. "Uh-huh."

Edward grabbed our hotel cards and followed us out. As we walked down the hallway toward the elevator, he placed a hand on the lower part of my back. It was meant to give me both affection and comfort. Like I said, when I was pregnant, my men were attentive and tried to make my life easy. I expected that behavior from Jasper, but Edward surprised me. The cold, standoffish boy I met on that Thanksgiving night twelve years ago wasn't the same warm, loving man I had next to me. It was strange to think, but after what we all went through, Edward being the one who wasn't the most broken, actually healed him.

Of course, he didn't trust anyone outside our little family, but he was no longer holding back with Jasper and me.

Once the elevator reached the lobby, I felt those damn butterflies again. There was no chance in hell that I wasn't going to cry. My eyes were already getting watery and burning. Even that damn lump in my throat got bigger and made it hard for me to swallow. Edward read me better than most and sensed my downward spiral. He still had his hand on my lower back, but now, his thumb was making circular motions, telling me he was present and I wasn't alone.

Cove, for his part, could always make me smile. "Do you think they will like me?" he asked.

"Oh, they'll be more than just like you, baby," I said, crouching down to his level. "They're going to take one look at you and fall in love."

Then, as he does more often than not, Cove grinned, just like Jasper, with his dimples and everything. "I think I'm going to love them."

"I think so too," I said, holding him by his cute little face and attacking him with kisses.

He giggled and pushed me away. "Stop, mama."

The elevator opened, and Edward cleared his throat. He assisted me up, and I grabbed Cove's hand again. We all walked out into the Atrium. The sunlight shone and created this ethereal feeling with the birds and plant life. It didn't take me long to find Jasper's head among the crowd. He had that wild, curly blond hair, and he rarely kept it tame. I scanned the people around him, soon focusing on Esme and Carlisle. They looked the same, classy and beautiful. Except they had a little more gray in their manes. Soon, I saw Renee and Charlie. They looked happy, both of them. Charlie had retired from the DEA and decided he wanted to live as The Dude, letting his hair and beard grow out. He wore relaxed-fit clothes and stoner sandals. I laughed a little at the sight of the old man. Renee, though, was her usual put-together Dolce-and-Gabbana self. Her blonde hair was smooth, glossy, and kept in place by an oversized hat. The countless diamonds on her fingers made the sixteen-year-old thief in me drool.

I wanted to hang back and watch them briefly, but Cove ruined that when he saw Jasper.

"Daddy!" he yelled, pulling from my hand and running full speed toward the group.

Jasper dropped to his knee and swooped up Cove. The grandparents had expected to meet their first grandchild, but seeing him in the flesh made them all speechless. Esme and Renee clutched to each other as Jasper made introductions. I could see it from a mile away. They were in love with the kid. Edward gently pushed me forward with his hand. We walked only two feet when Cove babbled about something but then turned around in Jasper's arms and pointed toward Edward and me. Charlie was the one to break from the bunch and approach, not even saying hello, but just pulling me into a hug.

"Bella Bean," he said, holding me tight. "I missed you, kiddo."

My composure that I was barely grasping onto as it was ultimately came undone. "I missed you too, Dad."

We sat there hugging for a few minutes while everyone gathered around us. When Charlie stepped away, he held me at arm's length and assessed my huge protruding belly.

"You're as big as a house, Bells," he said.

I chuckled, embarrassed. "Thanks, old man."

"Oh, Isabella," Renee cooed as she embraced me. I didn't hear what she said after that because I was fighting off a panic attack. No one had ever called me - not since them. "You know?"

Edward and Jasper recognized what happened and where I went, so they quickly intervened to minimize the freak-out.

"Hey, Renee, can I talk with you about something...over here?" Jasper said as he redirected her focus and got her far away from me.

Edward touched my lower back and stood close as Esme and Carlisle greeted me.

"Oh, Bella," Esme said, gently touching my arm. "You look so beautiful."

"Thanks," I said with a forced smile.

"And," Carlisle's eyes followed Cove around the room as he and Charlie chased each other, "he's so much like..." But didn't finish because he didn't want to appear rude.

Edward replied to the unsaid thought, "He's Jasper's biological son."

Esme silently asked for my permission before placing her hand on my belly, and I nodded with assurance. "And this one?" she asked.

"We're pretty sure she's Edward's," I said.

Esme's smile grew larger. "It's a girl?" And as to answer her, the little nugget kicked, making Esme and me laugh. "Is that a yes?"

"Well, we don't know - yet. The doctor put the gender in an envelope and gave it to me a few weeks ago. I waited to open it until you guys got here. I thought we could find out together," I said.

Renee and Charlie came back over with Cove and Jasper.

"I think that will be wonderful," Carlisle said.

"What will be?" Renee asked.

So, I explained that at dinner the following night that I would reveal the baby's gender. Charlie was excited about being a grandpa again and said he didn't care what it was just as long as "The baby has your eyes," and of course, Edward agreed. That was all it took to squash past differences and become best buddies. After that, they would gang up on me and defend their position on why my daughter had to have my eye color. I had no leg to stand on other than brown was poopy, and that word made Cove laugh and spray juice out of his nose.


After the grandparents settled in their suites, Renee and Esme shopped for baby gifts. They took Cove along to spoil him as well. They had four years to catch up on birthday presents. The men stayed down at the hotel bar and caught up. It was nice having fathers around to give pointers to Jasper and Edward. Not that they needed it, but it made them feel better to hear that they weren't completely messing up with Cove.

Me, however?

I took a nap.

In the last few months of my pregnancy, the kiddo inside was exhausting me. First, she wouldn't let me eat for my two trimesters, and once I got that back, she wanted to press on my bladder and suck the life out of me. No matter how long I slept, it took a lot for me to maintain my energy. Of course, Jasper would make my smoothies with extra vitamins to help me stay healthy, and at times it worked, but with the stress of Cove's birthday party, the gender reveal, and the parents visiting, it took a toll on me.

Later that afternoon, once I was up and showered, I was starting to feel better. No bad dreams, which I half-expected and dreaded happening due to Renee's name slip. I hoped that with the passing years, the triggers would be minor and not cause a catastrophe. If someone had called me that five years ago, it would have spiraled me, but now? It only caused a slight hiccup.

I was watching some Christmas romances on the Hallmark Channel and eating yogurt when Jasper and Edward walked into our hotel room. Cove wasn't far behind them. He had two bags of toys swinging from side to side as he barreled toward me. I barely had enough time to set down my yogurt and brace for impact.

"Mama!" He dropped the bags to the floor and jumped into my arms.

"Cove!" Jasper reprimanded.

"Take it easy, kid," Edward added.

The little guy was thin, around fifty pounds, and it would have knocked the air out of me if I hadn't anticipated him. My body turned sideways so he wouldn't hit his sister, and I was able to wrap my arms around him. Cove hugged me as tightly as he could. I buried my nose in his curls and breathed in deeply. He always smelled so good to me. Like if someone bottled sunshine and poured it over his head. It made me happy.

"Hey, baby. How are you?" I asked, gently setting him back on his feet.

Cove grinned. "I had fun, mama. Nannas took me to get toys." Plopping down on the floor, he opened the bags and spilled all the contents before me. Renee and Esme went above and beyond, buying him dinosaur action figures, race cars, a remote dog robot, and some art supplies. "Nanna ReRe got me this one." He showed me a Nerf gun.

Of course, my fucking mother would get my son a gun.

I just smiled at him. "Can I see that one?" He handed it to me without objection. "Hmmm, I don't know, baby. You might be too young for this."

"I don't like it," he said, and quickly moving on to something he did, which was a book. "Nanna Ezzy got me this. Can you read it to me tonight?"

Esme knew her son and knew how he would raise his son. I smiled at the book's title and read it out loud, "Kindness is my Superpower. Of course, I'll read it to you."

"Yay!" Cove took the book as I handed it back to him. He gingerly flipped through the pages, and he squinted his eyes, trying in vain to read it. "Kkkk...ah...Kkkk..."

For about a year or so now, we had been teaching Cove his alphabet, and he was learning how to spell things out to read. He got the basics like 'The' and 'Dog' and 'Love' but struggled with the bigger words.

Jasper crouched by Cove and playfully jostled his hair. "All right, buddy. It's time to wash up, and Mommy, Da, and I will be in a few to tuck you into bed, okay?"

"Okay!" Cove jumped to his feet and ran to the bathroom.

Jasper sat in our son's spot and rested his head on my lap. "Bean, we got to talk to you about something."

My fingers lazily went into his hair, and occasionally my nails dragged along his scalp. "What's up?"

"Are you attached to living here?" Edward asked.

"Ummm..." I lifted my eyes and found him standing on the other side of the room with his arms folded across his chest. "What?"

That was the first time they had brought up leaving Indonesia.

"Because if you're not attached, we think it's time to go back," Jasper spoke softly into the fabric of my dress.

"You think this?" I posed the question to Edward.

He shrugged. "I think our kids should be close to their grandparents."

"Ah," I said with a chuckle. It all clicked for me. "So, who guilt-tripped you guys? Jasper's parents or Charlie?" Renee was the 'I'll miss you from a distance' type.

Jasper raised his head as I looked down. "They love Cove so much, and they don't want to miss out anymore on his life and the new baby's life. I think we owe it to them to move home."

"Owe?" Edward and I said at the same time.

"Poor choice of words." Jasper shifted off my lap. "But you know what I mean."

Moving my hands to my stomach, I count how many times the baby kicked me during the conversation. So far, we were up to ten. When Edward talked, she seemed to be the most active.

I had thought about moving back to Laguna and wasn't opposed to it - at all. My only concern was the well-being of our family. If going back meant living in constant fear, I didn't care what the grandparents thought. If they cared so much, they needed to move to Indonesia.

So, I asked the obvious, "Is it safe?"

Edward opened his mouth, but Jasper answered first. "Yes, weed out west is being legalized, and the cartel has changed since Elena was in charge," he said.

"In other words," Edward said, crossing the room toward me, his hand cupping my face, "no one is after us." Behind his green eyes was hope. He wanted to go home. "It's been five years, Bean."

"We're ready," Jasper said. "Aren't you?"

"I..." But as my thought formed on my lips, Cove shouted from the bathroom.

"Daddy! I need you!"

"Hold that thought." Jasper raised his finger as he got to his feet and went to see what his son wanted. "I'm coming."

Once I was alone with Edward, I asked again, "Is it safe?"

Since that night on the airplane, Edward always vowed to be honest, no matter how dangerous or unpleasant the circumstances.

"If it wasn't, do you honestly think I would risk this family because of Esme, Carlisle, and fucking Charlie?"

I snorted. "No."

"Bean, it's time. I'm ready. I think you're ready." Edward moved his hand to my belly, and his daughter kicked ferociously. "Beth is ready too."


Cove's birthday party was held at The Pirates Bay. It was a fantastic place near the beach on the Nusa Dua Peninsula. The restaurant had tree-top dining, a treasure hunt, squirrel feeding, and zip lines. They even had a pirate ship for customers to explore. A lot of it Cove was too young for, but he had his favorite food of fried rice and satay meat skewers. The grandparents showered him with presents and attention. He milked every second. But honestly, I loved watching our parents love our boy. It made me cry – several times.

I blamed it on hormones, but Edward and Jasper knew the truth.

Their girl was a sap.

After the birthday song and cake, we moved the gathering outside to the beach and into one of those water bungalows. It was beautiful to sit out on the porch and enjoy the crystal-blue water and warm weather. My son couldn't stay put or relax. He got a new surfboard from Jasper and wanted to show his grandfather Carlisle and Charlie how well he could surf. The board that Jasper got for our son, though, was so reminiscent of the one he bought me all those years ago. It was smaller and had more gold but the same constellations—I would recognize them anywhere. It made me wonder what was so special about those stars.

So, I asked him, and he answered, albeit confused, "That's what the sky looked like that night we almost kissed. I thought I told you that before. You don't remember?"

"Vaguely," I said, though it was a damn miracle if I could remember what day of the week it was.

What I did know was as soon as we returned to Laguna, I was going to get my board out of storage.

The move had been decided, but Jasper, Edward, and I wanted to wait to tell the grandparents until dinner that night. We still didn't have a lot of things figured out, but we knew that it would have to be after the baby's birth. Jasper already contacted Spin about situating our finances and trying to get us a house. I was sad they sold their "little hole in the wall," but the memories for them were sour there. All that mattered to me was that it was on a beach and had a large kitchen.

Over the years, I have learned to cook and immensely enjoyed it.

"You know, Spin also mentioned that since weed has been legalized, California was looking for some growers," Jasper said when it was just us three in the bungalow.

Renee and Esme went to join Charlie, Carlisle, and Cove in the ocean.

Edward sat up straight, clearly interested. "No shit?!"

"Can you make good money doing that?" I asked.

Jasper shrugged, but a hint of smugness tugged at his lips. "You can if your THC is 33%."

"And so what? Does Spin know some people?" Edward asked.

"Actually, he set me up with this guy next week, and if it goes well," Jasper leaned over and placed his hand on my belly, "we're talking an annual salary of five million."

My hand flew over his, and I squeezed them. "Are you serious?"

"Apparently, this guy was our customer and had been missing our primo. I guess shit going around is worse than schwag," he said.

Edward sat back in his seat as all the worry dissolved into thin air. "One moment can change a day; one day can change a life, and one life can change the world."

There it was: an epiphany.

Once you began quoting Buddha, you saw the world through Jasper's eyes.


Later that night, after eating dinner and dessert, I pulled the envelope out of my purse and set it on my lap. The conversation had been about Cove and how great a surfer he was becoming. Edward and Jasper were floating the idea of turning him pro, but he was still my little baby, and I didn't want to think about him growing up. Not yet, at least.

I was already struggling with putting him in school next year. If everything went as planned, we would be back in Laguna by then. Since I had always wanted kids with my men, I knew which schools they would attend, and I may or may not have sent the dean of admissions Cove's application that morning.

"Okay, I don't want to sound impatient," Esme said, her eyes narrowing on me, "but we were promised something tonight."

"Yes!" Renee exclaimed. "I say it's another boy."

"No way," said Esme, shaking her head. "We already have a beautiful grandson; now we need a beautiful granddaughter." She got all nostalgic. "A little girl who takes after her gorgeous mama."

Edward raised his glass. "Amen," he said.

Both of my men reached down and placed their hands on my thighs. It was how we stayed connected.

My heart pounded harder and faster in my chest. I loved this baby no matter what gender they were, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be disappointed if it wasn't a girl.

After talking with Edward in the kitchen, my vision of Beth became clearer. She had green eyes and bronze hair, and a mischievous smile that was all her daddy. I ached for my little girl. I prayed for her.

So, it wasn't surprising that my fingers trembled as I fumbled with the envelope flap. If I didn't pull this piece of paper out, Beth would always be a girl, but once I pulled it out, it was an immediate fifty-fifty.

"Bella Bean," Charlie called to me from across the table. Cove was on his lap. They were best friends, and it melted my heart. My dad was such a good grandpa. "You can do this, kiddo."

I nodded, forcing a brave smile. "Okay, here we go."

Jasper and Edward leaned in close as I opened the envelope and pulled out the folded white paper.

The entire table was tense and held its breath.

Esme had her eyes closed, and her fingers crossed as she softly chanted. "Girl. Girl. Girl."

Renee was uninterested and waved down to the waiter for some more wine.

Carlisle was rooting for a girl like his wife, but he would love a boy just as much.

Charlie and Cove kept whispering words of encouragement. "You got this, Bells." "You can do it, mama."

Gently, I unfolded the paper and read my doctor's sloppy script: It's a girl.

Edward and Jasper shouted, "Yes!"

Esme watched my face as I locked eyes with her and smiled.

She asked, "Is it a girl?"

I said, "It's a girl."

"Oh, yay!" she exclaimed as she jumped up from her seat and hugged me.

Jasper and Edward had already hugged and kissed me, even wiping the tears from my cheeks.

As I got to my feet, the rest of the table erupted in applause. Congratulations were all around me. Cove told me how excited he was to have a new sister. I was getting tugged from one person to another. Even Renee engaged and told me, "She really is going to be beautiful." The emotions were strong, and taking on everyone's was overwhelming, but I was so fucking happy that I didn't care. Once the smoke cleared and the excitement died down, we all returned to our chairs.

Yet, the smiles never left our faces.

Esme asked, "Do you have a name for her?"

"Yes," I said, gripping Edward's hand. "Elizabeth Mason."

His eyes widened. "Mason!"

Once I told Jasper about Edward wanting to name our daughter, he suggested Mason as the middle name. I thought it sounded perfect, but then he informed me it was his mother's maiden name.

So, it was a little surprise for him too. "Yeah, it was J's idea," I said.

Edward reached over and gripped Jasper's shoulder from behind. "Thanks, man."

He said, "You're welcome."

Meanwhile, the table had split reactions. Charlie and Renee nodded, both saying, "How pretty," but it was Esme and Carlisle who recognized it. They had been friends with Edward's parents, but Esme and Elizabeth had been best friends since elementary school.

I hadn't expected Esme to rise from her seat and wrap Edward and me in a hug.

She cried, "I'm so sorry for all those years I turned my back on you."

Edward patted her back gently. "It's okay, Esme. I get it. I was a dick."

She laughed, pulling away and wiping the tears from her eyes. "No," she said. "You were just lost." She smiled down at me. "And you, my sweet, Bella. You found them both."

I hugged her and said, "Stop it; you're going to make me cry."

Esme raised her hands as she returned to her seat to sit down. "Sorry. I'll keep it together."

I doubt it, I thought, knowing we hadn't yet told her the good news.

Charlie and Renee looked on, confused, but then Carlisle explained the importance of the name.

Of course, my mom, being the classy lady, had a lightbulb go off in her head, and she pointed at me with an accusing finger. "So, this one belongs to Edward?"

I smiled tightly. "Mmm-hmm."

She said, "Oh," at least looking embarrassed.

An uncomfortable silence spread across the table like cancer, and it took Cove to break it.

"Mama, I can't wait to hold my sister!" He demonstrated how his arms would wrap around her and gently rocked side to side. "I'll take care of her."

Charlie hugged the kid closer to his chest. "You're going to be an amazing big brother, buddy."

Jasper sat up straighter in his chair, glancing at Edward and me. We nodded. Go for it.

"There's something else," he said. Four sets of eyes stared at him curiously. Now that he had their attention, he smiled. "After Elizabeth is born..."

Edward said, "And after Bella is healed."

"Yes," Jasper said, pointing at me, his face somewhat flushed for not mentioning that. "So, three, maybe four months after Elizabeth's birth, we planned on moving back."

No one said anything; they all gave him blank stares.

"To Laguna," I said.

Everything erupted from there. Charlie and Carlisle were all smiles and trying to talk over the sudden commotion. Renee was clapping her hands and telling the waiter we needed celebratory drinks. Cove was excited but had no clue what was happening, yet his excitement matched everyone else's energy. My attention was drawn back to the heart of this family.

"You're all coming home," Esme said, her body already prepping to stand. "Forever?"

"Yes," I said.

And that was all it took. Esme was up, we were in her arms, and she was sobbing.


Five years and a month or so later, after day ten:

Jakarta, Indonesia

Our daughter, Elizabeth Mason Whitlock-Cullen, was born on May 24th at five in the evening. She had all ten fingers and all ten toes, weighed eight pounds, and measured twenty inches long. She had a full head of black hair and brown eyes. I was lucky that she came on her own, but it took her sixteen hours. Edward was by my side during the delivery and had cut the cord. When they put her in my arms, I was sobbing from exhaustion. It made me feel crazy. Once I got pain meds and the adrenaline died down, I could focus my eyes and fully take in my daughter.

God, she was so beautiful, and maybe I was biased, but she didn't look like a weird alien newborn. Her skin was a rosy pink, she was plump, and those brown eyes were so big and round. Elizabeth looked like a Gerber baby. She was just the sweetest and perfect in every way. What killed me the most was how Beth looked at me with this all-knowing gaze. Already, she was speculative like her daddy. She looked around, sizing up the nurses and her big brother. It was cute how sweet Cove was with his new sister. He wanted to hold her but was too little, and Jasper had sat him down in a chair to place Beth in his lap. Cove would sing to her. He would say how much he loved her and would take care of her forever.

Then there was Edward meeting his daughter.

I knew that he would be happy. When Cove was born, Edward was so proud, telling everyone he was a daddy. That was what I expected, but when he held his little girl for the first time, and she looked up at him with those eyes, he was done and destroyed. There was this protective, fierce nature about him when he held her, and a silent bond formed between them. I knew she would be a daddy's girl, which meant everything to me. Even though I wasn't anything like my mother and was going to do everything in my power to make sure Bethy felt loved and perfect, I hoped she would have a relationship with her daddy that I eventually had with Charlie.

"Thank you," Edward whispered, shifting Beth in his arms so he could lean in and kiss my lips.

As I gazed into his green eyes, it hit me hard, nearly taking my breath away. My wounded Sailor had found his peace. I reached up and brushed away his tear that was about to fall. "You're welcome."


Five years and ten months after day ten.

Laguna Beach, California

Fast Forward ...

The last time I skipped ahead in time, it led to a path that my men and I couldn't avoid. The eight days that followed were traumatic, and it took time for us to get over it, and at times, I wasn't sure I had fully healed. The triggers never made sense and would come out of the blue, but they would send me into a hyperventilating frenzy. It only calmed when Edward and Jasper would wrap their arms around me. Edward would say, "Shh, I'm here with you," Jasper would follow it up by saying, "You're safe. You're safe."

There was a time when I didn't think I would ever feel safe, but as the years progressed and I became a mama of two beautiful babies, those fears shifted and filled my heart with hope.

After Beth was born, we spent those three months in Indonesia, prepping to move back to the States. Jasper had gotten the job as a lead cultivator at Terra Tech. It was the largest cannabis company in California. The owner, Wayne, was no older than Jasper, around his early thirties, and had been a customer of my men for years. Then all that shit went down, their primo disappeared, and Wayne worked hard to get some of that quality back. When it looked like California would legalize it, he was the first pioneer to create a company, get licensed, and start growing products. It was by luck or fate that Wayne knew Spin from their banking days and had a joint session about a year ago. Spin still had primo of Jasper's he was babying, and Wayne took one whiff - and boom! He knew what it was and hounded Spin to tell him. One story led to another, and that was how Jasper got the interview - if you could even call it that.

Wayne hired Jasper on the spot and offered him an annual salary of 3.5 million plus stock shares.

That shit was a no-brainer.

So, we had to leave before November 1st of that year. Jasper was scheduled to start, but he wanted to get there early to tour the greenhouses he would be working. Now, it may have sounded easy to pack up and move, but moving from country to country with two kids wasn't easy. Luckily, my men decided it would be best for me and our children to go ahead to Laguna. We would live with Jasper's parents until our house was ready. They would stay behind and tie up loose ends in Indonesia.

The hut we lived in for those five years was given to a needy family. My men had met them in town and overheard they were homeless. Jasper gave him the keys and moved them in that day. The father was a farmer so he could cultivate the plants, but Jasper told him that he would try to return every six months to help them irrigate the land. There was also a school Jasper had been building and would need to return to finish.

No matter what, my soulful boy thrived on helping others; honestly, I was just happy to see that part of Jasper return. I wasn't quite sure what healed him. Maybe it was Indonesia and the people there. The water and stars could have done it too. But if I had to put money into it, I would put all my chips on Cove.

How could you deny the future of goodness when you see it in your son's eyes daily?

I saw the difference my kids made in people's lives. It didn't have to be something significant. I wasn't expecting Cove or Beth to cure cancer. No, my blessings were in the small ways they made people around them feel.

Charlie and Cove were buddies and constantly went fishing and hiking. My dad joked to his stowaway Bella, "I always wanted a son." Well, there was his chance to do everything we never did. Beth was only eight months old and had barely started speaking, but her two grandmas would take her shopping with them, and everyone would say, "Oh, my goodness, this baby is so pretty, such big brown eyes." That made both Renee and Esme puff out their chests. They liked having amazing grandchildren to brag about. Carlisle was active in our children's life, but he took on a mentor role and was always reading to them and trying to excel them intellectually. Beth was a sponge, and she latched on to every word he said. As she gets older, Carlisle will be the grandpa she goes to for advice.

Speaking of little Bethy, Edward's dreams were spot on, and our daughter got my eyes and his hair. I would sometimes see him, especially when she was pouting and mad, but more often than not, that girl was a copy-and-paste of her mama. It disappointed me because I wanted her to look more like Edward, but she was still beautiful.

In his eyes, though, Elizabeth was perfect and couldn't do anything wrong. She could commit murder, and he would still be ga-ga over her.

They were impossible to separate.

Listen, I knew that little girl loved me. I was her mama. She would even cling to me when Daddy wasn't around, but if he were within her periphery, she would cry and cry until he came and held her.

Honestly, I think she preferred the boys more. Jasper and Cove came in a close second to Edward. The more I thought about it, the more I saw how much Beth took after me.

In another two months, Cove was turning Five, and at the beginning of August, he was starting school. It was the same private school I had sent the application to on his fourth birthday. The dean reached out the next day and said she was excited to meet Carlisle and Esme Whitlock's only grandson.

Of course, I named dropped as many people as I could to better our chances, but I wasn't an idiot and had done my research and knew exactly what to say. The tuition wasn't as expensive either. I might have mentioned my plans to Esme, and she donated money to the school, setting the price back a few thousand dollars.

It was shameless, but I knew Cove would excel there, and I refused to settle for less. The dean even said when Beth was old enough, I would have to call her, and they could get her in immediately.

Edward would tease me and say, "When did you become this kind of mom?"

"What kind of mom?" I fired back.

"The one who has to have her kids in the most prestigious schools?"

He was calling me a snob. "It's our kids, and their futures are important. You don't think so?"

Then he would look at Cove and Beth laughing and playing in the living room and accept defeat. He would kiss my lips and apologize. "No, you're right."

Meanwhile, before school started back up, Cove had morning surfing lessons with his dads. He was getting better and better every day and growing like a weed. Jasper and Edward would even get Beth involved; she couldn't stand on her own yet, but to them, that didn't matter. They both stressed to me that it was important for Beth to experience the feel of the surfboard beneath her feet.

Once, as they held Beth up, her toes barely touched the board, and Cove jumped on the other side, showing his little sister how you surf. He was crouching and balancing on imaginary waves. I snapped a photo of this moment and hung it up on our wall in the living room.

Every morning, I stared at that picture and sipped on my coffee.

On Sundays, it was family night. All the grandparents came over, even Rose and Emmett with their kids, if they could make it out, and Edward liked to invite Doc and his girlfriend. We would get together, have dinner, watch a movie, and laugh - lots of laughter. The house was filled with warmth and love.

In the past, I never saw this future as my present.

The road seemed too long and too impossible.

But since we had been back in Laguna, things were different. I didn't feel that negative energy anymore. That cloud that hung over our heads, even long before Elena came into our lives, was gone. There was no worry about evil people coming into our lives or the police arresting my men for selling illegal drugs.

No, none of that.

Jasper was making millions doing what he loved with plants for a company that intended to put Big Pharma out of business. Edward had hooked back up with Doc, and they were working for the US Government designing RPGs and IEDs. They had a 'blast' blowing shit up all the time, and more importantly, they got paid good money to do so. I wasn't working. My focus was Cove and Beth. I wanted to be present every second of their lives, and honestly, there was no need for me to get a job. My men made enough money to support our lifestyle and care for our babies.

What I did start up again was painting. That was my passion. It was Beth's passion too. Although her artwork was mainly hands full of paint and smacking the canvas, I kept every single one. You never know. One day, they might be showcased in a gallery. I know what you're going to say. All moms thought their kids were talented - except I wasn't delusional, and mine obviously were.

As I sat on my deck and watched Edward and Jasper build sand castles with our babies, I reflected on my last thirty years. It had been a life filled with up and downs, but it was extraordinary.

I was born with a heart issue that caused problems, and I needed surgery to fix it. The scar remained, and so did my fighting spirit. My mom was difficult, pushed me in all the wrong ways, and my father was absent a lot, causing me to struggle as a teen. My knack for stealing came as a way to de-stress, but then it escalated to material possessions and the challenge of a bigger game. That got me caught and shipped to my father, the fucked-up stoner.

But that was when things popped off for me.

I fell in love - not once, but twice.

In those early days, I fought with my feelings and the perception of others around me. It took nearly a year of trial and error to finally accept that maybe three people couldn't love each other equally. It doesn't work that way, but you could be in love with more than one person.

Once I was over that hurdle, peace and harmony came over us.

For six years, we lived without conflict, without looking over our shoulders, and we loved each other more and more deeply every day. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the bubble popped. Our life was disrupted by callous greed, and it changed us forever. It took years after the trauma to heal from the pain caused over a week. How was that possible? Seven days to sever and four hundred plus days to mend. I guess it was easier to destroy than build.

But once we did build our Rome and start to live again, I found real peace and harmony. We were adults now raising our future generation, and the meaning of life made sense to me. It had nothing to do with my needs, or Edward and Jasper's needs, or what house we lived in, or the lovely things we owned. None of that meant anything at the end of the day. What mattered was our kids. They gave us purpose and allowed our love to live forever.

Was the story of me and my two boys over?

Not even close, but since everything eventually comes to an end, I will leave it on a Buddha quote: Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.

The End


AN: All right, that is the end of SoCal and Savages. I hope everyone enjoyed the Epi and put these characters in a good place. I felt they deserved it. Thanks for reading. I had fun.