"There are more heroes in the shadows than in the light."
Alain Mabanckou
It was now a year. A year since Sirius and Remus had started travelling around the UK to give real information to wizards in the UK, and even beyond. Their radio was a great success, many wizards were there, listening to it as a desperate act of rebellion. They had not thought when they started that they would be so successful, but they were. This adventure had been going on for a year. In one year, Sirius had seen James three times. And he missed his brother at heart. Their first reunion had been a few months after they left, on Harry's birthday. Sirius wasn't ashamed to say that he had cried when he saw James again. Those few months without him had been a hard time, and the few hours they'd spent together hadn't been enough to fill that hole.
It was hard, being away from their family, their friends, but at least they were together. They moved every other day so they couldn't be followed. Remus supported him when he started to feel bad, and he did the same when Remus was the one who had a slump. The full moon was hard every time, but he got through it, like everything else.
Voldemort had, in the space of a year, made the oppression even worse. Fortunately for them, magical transport had not yet been banned, but there had been a rumour circulating for a few weeks that it would happen soon. The Death Eaters had begun to invade the neighbouring countries, but many of them had been preparing for the invasion, and their radio had served them well for this prevention.
It was almost eight o'clock, the time when the Order members sent them reports of the day, of the deaths, of the new laws, of the battles, of the actions of the Resistance. It was they who decided what was said and what was not, but one thing always remained in the day's broadcast, the count of the dead, and their names when they were known.
"Sirius! Come and see."
Sirius snapped out of his thoughts and walked over to his companion, who was holding the notebook that allowed them to communicate with the outside world.
"This is not a usual report."
Remus handed him the notebook and he could read James' note, strange since it was always Helena or Moody who reported to them, James wrote to them during the day.
The Reaper and the Cocker are gone. The Lightning and the Squirrel have a prisoner. Prongs asks Padfoot and Moony to return to the Emerald's aunt house.
This gibberish would have been incomprehensible to anyone outside the Order, but the two marauders understood it perfectly. The situation was serious. James, or indeed any other member of the Order, had never asked them to return. It was always their decision. What could have happened?
"By Merlin! Remus exclaimed after a while."
"What's the matter?"
"There was a mission. Helena and Fabian had a mission."
"And now they're both missing... We have to tidy up."
With the help of a few spells, they packed their belongings into a small bag that Helena had given them on the day of their departure and set off.
They had been missing for at least three days. A member of the Order was only declared missing after three days, that was the rule. They could see the HQ in the distance and started to walk. They had increased the perimeter of the protections so that they were now much further away when they landed. The first time James had used the term 'Emerald Aunt's house' for HQ, they hadn't immediately understood. Harry didn't have an aunt. It was Remus who had come up with it, arguing that it must surely mean Helena, and her house was HQ. The other names were simple, they had come up with them. Sirius thought Fabian had cocker spaniel eyes when he begged for something and James knew that Gideon loved hazelnuts, like squirrels. The fact that both animals had red hair also suited them. They entered the hallway and immediately found themselves with a wand to their throats.
"It's us Mad-Eye."
"Prove it!"
"There were twenty-seven files on your desk the day I broke into your office, at the New Year's Eve ceremony in '68."
"What about him?"
"He's with me. We never leave each other, I'll know if it wasn't really him."
Moody eventually let them pass, but did not lower his wand, constant vigilance obliged. The two marauders entered the living room and didn't even have time to see the room before a two and a half year old, brown-haired, green-eyed ball of energy had charged at them.
"Padfoot! Moony!"
"Harry, let them breathe."
Sirius looked up at James, and it was a very bad idea. James had many bruises on his face, but that wasn't the worst of it. The worst was behind him. The worst was flanked by Remi and Gideon who both had closed faces. The worst was a shadow with ebony hair.
"That's not possible."
Four days earlier
Hermione and Fabian were silent, keeping as low a profile as possible. The comings and goings did not stop. It was still early, the dawn was just breaking, but neither wizard knew why there were so many people. But no matter, they had to keep their eyes on their main mission: to retrieve Helga's Hufflepuff cup. It was Severus who had put them on the trail that she might be at the Death Eater HQ. And when all was said and done, it made sense, Voldemort wanted to be as close as possible to his horcrux.
They had spent many hours studying the layout of the Manor, even though Hermione had been there many times before, it wasn't the same as being tortured and wanting to go in voluntarily. At least Bellatrix wouldn't be there, she had thought sarcastically as she left HQ.
They crept towards the entrance near the kitchens, the one that was least busy, the one that was most discreet, but today everything seemed to be busy.
"We'll cast disillusionment spells on each other" Fabian whispered and Hermione nodded.
The place they were in didn't seem to be busy, so they entered unnoticed, then headed for the stairs. They were climbing them slowly when Fabian caught a spell on his back and collapsed. Hermione turned abruptly, but had no time to move before she fell to her knees, her hands bound. She found herself facing a Death Eater she didn't know, but who seemed more than happy to find her there.
"Helena Grace. The Master will be so pleased."
Without asking more, he called another and led them into the dungeons. They were the only prisoners, most of the resistance fighters having died or gone underground. They sat there for some time, one opposite the other, not daring to speak. They both knew that the Death Eaters would soon come to torture them, and probably even Voldemort himself. And they were not going to get away with it.
"We have to talk. He's coming, we have to do something."
"They're not complete idiots, Fabian! We don't have a wand! I have absolutely nothing on me that would allow us to escape."
"Exactly! The most important thing is to protect your identity and Remus'. Then protect the HQ."
"And how can we do that?"
"You'll be fine without me" Fabian said with a sad little smile.
"Fabian..."
"You'll be tortured, probably for hours, but you'll get through it, you always do. It will be hard, but you'll get over it."
"Fabian, I don't know what you're getting at."
"Of course you do, you just don't want to admit it. It'll be quick, don't worry. Just tell my sister to take care of herself and my brother that I love him, okay?"
"Morgana! What are you talking about?"
"I can't stay alive and risk revealing your secrets."
"I'm not going to kill you, Fabian!"
"You will" he said in a calm, collected voice.
"No! I won't! I can't do it! I can't kill you! Well... think about it, there must be a solution!"
"There isn't. Yes I'm an auror, yes I'm trained to resist torture and mind intrusions, but I'd never last hours! I was never any good at it. You've trained your mind to resist these kinds of intrusions. You've been training for years. You can even lock yourself in if you need to. I have faith in you, Hermione. You can do this."
"I can't kill you."
Hermione's tears were flowing, but Fabian held back his own, if he broke, Hermione would never do it, and he couldn't afford to give information to the Death Eaters.
"No, what you can't do is compromise your cover, Voldemort can't know anything about either the Time Jewels or the horcruxes."
"I can't do that."
"You have to do it, you have to be as brave as Ron was when he put Neville out of his misery. That was the first thing I knew about my nephew, your best friend. You must imitate him now."
"But you're not dying! There's nothing like it!"
"You're saving me from being tortured into madness. I prefer death to torture. Hermione, you have no choice."
Hermione jumped into Fabian's arms, still crying silently. She could not see Fabian's face. She did not see her own tears as they began to fall, she did not see the silent 'I love you' that his lips formed. She did not know that his last thought was not for his sister or brother, but for her, he had promised her long ago that he would protect her, it was now done. He held her against his body, close as ever. He sniffed her perfume, ran his hand through her hair, enjoyed the embrace of the woman he loved as he had never done before. He had confessed his love to her, she had not heard him, but Fabian had said it. At least once he had said 'I love you' to the woman he loved.
Hermione brought her arms up to Fabian's neck and squeezed him until the air no longer passed. She held on for a moment, then Fabian's body fell heavily to the floor and she moved as far away from him as possible. She was curled up in a corner of the dungeons, where she had no vision of Fabian's dead face. She was crying, her chest jerking violently, her hand in front of her mouth, desperately trying to hide the sobs that were shaking her body.
She had killed Fabian. She would never get over it, never forgive herself. How was she going to face Gideon? But Hermione couldn't see Fabian's face. She couldn't see the peaceful look that was painted on his face. His heart had finally found peace in death. He had sacrificed himself, to protect the secret of the woman he loved.
Hermione didn't know how long she had been in these dungeons. Only the pain in her heart was present. She may have lost all sense of time, but the Death Eaters did not. Eventually she heard footsteps on the stairs and saw three Death Eaters appear. They tied her up again, then saw Fabian's dead body. They sighed and went into a room, which seemed to be the meeting room. The Death Eaters were on his left, Voldemort was on his right, sitting on what looked like a throne.
The Death Eaters bowed their heads to him, then raised their heads when Voldemort commanded them to do so.
"Were there not two of them?"
"The girl killed the boy, Master."
"What do you have to hide, you little mudblood?"
He sent a spell at Hermione, and she collapsed, her body unable to withstand such pain. Hermione was not really able to think under this spell, otherwise she would have found it strange that the Dark Lord did not start with a more usual spell, for example.
"You see, Helena Grace, I would have taken great pleasure in torturing you first, but someone asked me to do it, and I can't deny them that pleasure."
Hermione couldn't quite see where Voldemort was going with this, but she saw a figure appear through the other door. His face had such a sadistic expression that it made all the Death Eaters present shudder, either with fear or excitement, but it made them shudder. She walked slowly forward, her curly hair flowing behind her.
Hermione turned as pale as death and for the first time in a long time her face showed an expression of deep terror. Her body began to tremble and her eyes filled with tears.
"My favourite mudblood! We're going to have so much fun together!"
Remus was distressed. It had been over three days since Hermione had disappeared. He hadn't heard from her, and worst of all, the light from the Time Necklace was fading, which meant that one of the Chosen Ones was in a very bad way. He couldn't locate her, or even send her a message. He didn't expect her to be okay after two days, she and Fabian had definitely been caught. No one had said it out loud, not wanting to despair, but they all knew it. If they were safe, a message would have reached them.
Remus spent his time fighting his training dummy, venting his frustration and anger. He had told Hermione that this was a bad idea. They should have gone together, like always. They'd both been retrieving horcruxes since the beginning, and they'd always gotten them and destroyed them. But Hermione seemed to want to take care of the Hufflepuff cup on her own, but it was definitely not working.
Remus punched his dummy hard, sending it flying a few feet away as the magical shields began to shake. James and Gideon stepped out, and saw the normally invisible magical barrier above them shaking.
"What's going on?"
"Do you think the HQ is compromised?"
"I don't know. There are hundreds of protections around the house, it would take hours and a huge knowledge of black and white magic to destroy them. And even then, the fidelius charm should be the last line of defense.
The three men fell silent when they saw a hole form above them and a body fall violently to the grass. They pointed their wands at the stranger, who was slowly getting up. When they saw his face, the three of them froze, all at once.
"Regulus?"
"Black?"
The young man looked at them, desperate. He hadn't spoken yet, not knowing what to say to the three Order members who were pointing their wands at him. The first thing he did was to take his wand and throw it at their feet. There, he was unarmed. He just hoped they wouldn't kill him before they could talk.
Remus was the first to step forward and tie Regulus up. No one spoke, but they were all closed and wary. James and Gideon still had their wands pointed at him, but Remus had lowered him down and led him towards the HQ. He sat him down hard and it was only when Regulus raised his head that they saw the state he was in. His eyes were red, and tears were streaming down his cheeks. His eyes betrayed a nameless terror, his body was shaking. Even before he asked what he was doing there, Remus sensed that something bad had happened. Never in his youth had he seen Regulus Black in anything but perfect form, which was far from the case.
"What happened?"
"Remi! We need to know if the HQ is compromised first!"
"Terrible. Helena... Never again."
The three men stared at him for a moment, trying to understand what he had just said.
"Helena! What happened to Helena? Damn it Black, answer!"
Regulus seemed to be completely gone, spouting off bits of sentences, making no real sense. But Remus couldn't take his eyes off Regulus' terrified, haunted eyes. And his instincts were screaming at him that this had something to do with Fabian and Hermione's disappearance.
"Search him. He might have something on him."
James obeyed and began to inspect his pockets. He found a piece of parchment in the inside pocket of his jacket, but he had nothing else on him.
"A blank piece of parchment, that's all, nothing very useful."
"Don't blank pieces of parchment hide the best secrets?"
Remus knew that James couldn't understand his reference to the marauder map, after all he wasn't supposed to know about it, but he knew that this scroll was a letter. It wasn't the first time Hermione had communicated in this way. And luckily for them, it wasn't the first time he would intercept one of her letters. He cut his finger with the corner of the parchment and dropped a few drops of blood onto the centre. Letters appeared and words were formed, as Gideon and James looked on in surprise.
"What's written there?"
"It's a letter from Helena."
Regulus,
Perhaps you will never read this letter. Only you can read it, no Death Eater can see its contents, even through your shoulder. You should find this letter in the corner of your cloak, I hope you do. You've grown since we first spoke. I remember it very well, and I think you do too. You sat at my table, when I was a Gryffindor, without even asking me my blood status. You, a Black, the most prejudiced family about blood, sat at my table. It's only been two and a half years, yet you've changed. You've gone dark, you've grown thin, you're afraid. The Death Eaters aren't as attractive as they used to be, are they? You may be a Black, but you're not like Bellatrix or your parents. The torture, the blood, the suffering, you don't like it.
Regulus, I'm talking to you because I know you're not lost. Don't think I'm naive, I'm not. During our brief meetings we didn't talk much, but your eyes spoke for you Regulus. I saw your fear in the halls of Hogwarts. I saw your disgust on the battlefield. You did not become a Death Eater out of conviction, but out of family duty. I knew a boy like you once. He came from a pureblood family too. His parents taught him important values, just like they taught you. He insulted me for many years because my blood was not as pure as his. He finally betrayed his master and his family, saving my life in the process.
I'm not asking you to save my life, that's not what I want, that's not what you want either, you're far too clever to stand in front of a spell-casting wand without thinking. One day I heard this sentence, and it made me think cruelly of your family: "There are parents who want to maintain the prestige of authority at all costs and who only succeed in installing in their homes the hideous spectre of tyranny. They turn their children into slaves or wild little rebels." Sirius became the rebel, you had no choice but to become the slave. I know you resent your brother Regulus. You resent him for abandoning you. You resent him for going to Gryffindor, because you had to take the role of elder instead of him. You resent him for running away from home to James' house. You resent him for becoming an only child, with all the responsibilities that entails. But worst of all, you resent James for stealing your brother.
Am I right? Behind your pureblood mask, you're incredibly lonely. Your only real friend for a long time was your house elf. And I know that being around Kreacher all day didn't help your resentment of Sirius.
But I'm not here to talk about Sirius. I want to talk about you. You hate being a Death Eater. You hate kneeling before a man, even if he is the descendant of Salazar Slytherin. And I understand you. He's not nearly as pure-blooded as you are, and yet you must obey him, like a common house elf. But as said before, you are friends with a house elf. Strange paradox.
Regulus, one day you will surely regret your choices, and I hope for your sake that all of humanity has not descended into chaos when that happens. You wanted to be a Death Eater, I have no doubt, you were raised to be one. But I also have no doubt that you soon regretted it. A few years ago, I certainly wouldn't have had that kind of talk, but that's not entirely your fault. You were young and impressionable. What I mean is that if one day you decide you don't want to participate in this genocide anymore, I will help you. Even if I am dead. With this letter you will find a portkey, which will take you to a safe place. The password is "I let go of my prejudices." I'm not stupid either, you can only get into this place if you really want to, if that's what your heart wants. It won't work if you just want to inform your master and his little dogs.
You may wonder why I'm doing this, I think you're collateral damage from this war. You were born on the wrong side, and your brother away from you, you had no choice.
I hope we meet again Regulus, and I hope that when we do, we're both on the same side, making plans on how to bring down Voldemort.
If I'm not there, give this letter to Remi. He'll probably resent me and my bloody ideas, but he'll help you. I have faith in you, become what you want to be, not what has been dictated to you since you could walk.
Good luck Regulus Arcturus Black.
Helena.
The three wizards looked at each other for a moment, realising what Helena had done, and the consequences it could have. They really hoped that no one had followed Regulus, because that would mean that the location of the HQ was known too. Just knowing the area could be dangerous, because the Death Eaters could be watching their whereabouts.
"I think we're going to need Sirius" James sighed.
