"Oh - Anthony? Don't worry about him, love, he won't do you any harm." Earl Grey One Sugar settled back onto her stool, blowing gently on her steaming mug. She'd been one of Nina's regulars for a few months now, familiar enough for Nina to casually ask what she knew about the redhead who followed Mr Fell around. "It's romantic, really." She looked from side to side, then leaned in, gesturing for Nina to do the same.
Only because it was a slow day, and not because she was curious about the person who had completely upended her understanding of reality then absconded with his new boyfriend, Nina did so.
"Anthony used to be in the Mob, you see," Earl Grey One Sugar said with evident thrill. "Then he fell in love with Mr Fell. He gave up everything he had on the promise they would leave him and Mr Fell alone." She winked, and tapped her nose knowingly. "Well. Not everything. Anthony's too cunning for that."
"That man? The Mob?" Caramel Latte chuckled. "Nothing of the kind! He's a florist. Excellent with his plants, that one, though you'd never think it to look at him." He took a sip of his drink, the plastic top brushing against the grey hairs of his mustache. "A bit odd, but devoted to Mr Fell. They've been married as long as I've known them."
He smiled, looking down at the ring on his finger and rubbing it. "Never would have met my husband without him. He tempted me out to a club one night, gave me the courage to do something a bit naughty, and that's where we met."
He looked up at Nina again, the soft smile remaining. "I hope he and Mr Fell are enjoying their second honeymoon. They deserve it."
Cupperty For Looking At had come in yesterday, and they'd seemed pretty sure Mr Fell wasn't coming back anytime soon. Nina was starting to think he and Crowley hadn't left just for a honeymoon.
"Crowley?" Milk Tea and a Brownie snorts dismissively. "He's a real lout, that one. Mr Fell deserves better."
"Yeah?"
"Thinks he's so flash, with his big black car and his fancy clothes, but really he's a grumpy sod, and Mr Fell has always been a sweetheart. Probably just got mixed up with him by accident, and now can't get away." He took a bite of his brownie, a crumb lingering on his lower lip. "They broke up a few years ago, just out there." He nodded out to the street.
Nina glanced out, but nothing was out there. Just people walking past, and an empty parking spot waiting for a particular black car to fill it.
When she looked back at Milk Tea and a Brownie, he was licking the crumb from his lip. "It didn't last long. Mr Fell took him back. Too kind for his own good, and that demon takes far too much advantage."
That didn't quite square with what Nina had seen of them, but she wasn't going to comment. It wasn't like she was actually invested in this at all. She was just asking questions.
"I've heard you're curious about Mr Fell's companion?"
Nina shrugged, continuing to scrub at a stubborn coffee stain. "Not curious. Just…interested. Seen him around, that's all."
Chai with Oat Milk gave her a long, considering look. "You probably should know, then."
Nina didn't look up. "Yeah? Know what?"
"Who you're dealing with."
Now she did look up. "You know something about them?"
"Oh, yes. But you might not believe me."
Nina crossed her arms, leaning back against the far counter. "Try me."
"Mr Fell? He looks like an ordinary man, terrible bookseller but nothing special, but he's not. He's one of the Fae Folk. The other one's his enchanted companion, doomed to love him forever by way of faerie spell."
Nina thought of Crowley returning to the bookshop yesterday, no Mr Fell in sight. A month ago she'd have laughed the theory off as nonsense, but now, it might have a hint of truth to it.
"You've heard the Mob theory, I assume?"
Nina snorted. The Mob didn't send literal monsters to attack a bookshop, and they definitely didn't keep out just because they hadn't been invited in. Some of her memories of that night were fuzzy, but Maggie standing in front of that horde and laughing off all of their insults was still crystal clear.
"I'll take that as a yes, then. Can't blame you for not believing it. Everyone has it the wrong way." Black Coffee took a prim sip from her cup. "Whatever Mr Fell's beau is, he saunters around in all black and everyone thinks he must be a villain. It's never that simple, dear."
"Not a dear, thanks."
Black Coffee sniffed. "You young people, really. As I was saying, Mr Fell has been running that bookshop for decades, and in all those years, has never sold a single book." She raised one perfectly trimmed white eyebrow. "I don't think Mr Fell's partner is the one with Mob connections."
"Oh, I don't think I'm supposed to tell you that." Cupperty looked disappointed.
"Look, I was there that night, with Mr Fell. He already told us, some of it, I just want to hear it from you."
Their beaming smile returned. "Well, if the Supreme Archangel's already told you, that's alright then." They carefully picked up their tea, using only the very tips of their fingers, and stared at it.
Nina wasn't surprised. They'd done this exact thing every day since Mr Fell had left. At least now they actually paid for it, and in pounds. "So who is Mr Fell? And the other guy, Crowley?"
"That's easy. Aziraphale is the Supreme Archangel, though before he was the traitor because he and the demon Crowley stopped Armageddon, and before that he was Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden. Mr Crowley was the Serpent of Eden, of course." They rolled their eyes slightly, as though they were repeating something that was completely obvious, rather than completely absurd.
"Of course." Nina repeated faintly.
Cupperty's smile returned to the full bright beam. "I'm glad I could help! Helping is such a nice feeling. Goodbye!"
They were out the door before Nina could even begin to think to stop them.
Bonus:
"Aye, the bookseller, that old pansy. I know him," Nine Sugars says. "He's a witch. I killed him once, but he came back. Strange day, that was."
