Chapter 7
Tempest
Naruto quickly rushed Ram into her room and gently put her down on her bed. Ram still panted as she gripped her head in pain. Everyone around her was looking fearfully as the young oni suffered. Naruto's hands balled to the point his fingers dug into his hands. They would have drawn blood if it wasn't for his healing factor and his symbiote side keeping his self harm in check.
Wendy on the other hand tried to help the girl, "Don't worry Ram, we'll find a way to heal you." she said.
Wendy has not once stopped asking Great Sage for questions and analysis for how to help Ram. All she could do was find temporary solutions that at best could work for a few hours. That's if Wendy is lucky enough to find a good treatment or find the source of the issue. Leaving Wendy too concerned to rest for the night.
"Rem, does Ram have any uh… what's the word? The thing where you know your health for your whole life?" Wendy asked.
Rem shook her head, "My sister are hardly ever apart but I can't remember every sickness or pain she's had." she answered.
"I think Lady Wendy means history of health or something similar." Rigurd said.
"Yeah that! Are you sure you don't know anything Rem? Maybe common things that always happen or anything new?" Wendy asked. Rem looked unsure, "Anything Rem, please help me so I can help your sister." Wendy pleads.
Rem thinks about it some more, "Just the horn like I said Wendy. Maybe it's really bad. Horns are an important part of our tribe since it contains our magical power." She said.
Wendy nodded, "Okay, but what about your horn? Did you lose it too?" she asked.
Rem shook her head, "No, our horns take a sort of spiritual appearance. They're not like bones, but Ram lost hers then it's probably worse than we know." she said looking at her ill sister.
"Maybe we can grow it back or replace it with something?" Wendy asked.
Ram continued to pant as she looked at all the concerned faces around her. A part of her felt angry as if she hated the idea that she was being pitied. Hating being dependent on others when she needs to be the strong one to protect Rem. Yet, part of those ideals felt questionable. Ram felt self doubt, especially when she heard the next proclamation.
"I'm leaving to find a doctor." Everyone turned to look at Naruto who went full symbiote.
"Big brother?" Wendy asked.
"I will need some volunteers to back me up and we can head out right now." Naruto said as his fists tightened.
"But it's already dark out!" Wendy said.
"And Ram's hurt right now. I take a small group to look for a doctor or someone with good medical skills." Naruto said as he walked out.
"Everyone?" Wendy asked as the group who turned to each other.
Outside
Naruto began to grab supplies and whatever else he needed for a journey of a small group. Along with asking everyone at the celebration for any volunteers who are willing to follow him into the dark of knight. Although most of them were unsure seeing as the night was quite dangerous and Tempest was still very light in terms of security with all the monsters roaming around outside.
"It's fine, I won't force anyone." Naruto said as he prepared to transform.
When he heard a voice, "I think I can help." Naruto turned to find Albedo behind him and out of her cage.
"You better not be pulling my leg." Naruto said.
"I… why would I pull on your leg?" Albedo asked sounding confused.
"It's a metaphor. It means you are trying to mess with my head." Naruto answered. "Now what's this about you helping me?" he asked.
"I can't guarantee anything, but it would make more progress than just aimlessly wandering around at night." Albedo suggested.
"Tell me." Naruto requested.
Albedo cleared her throat, "Before I went on my psychotic episode. I mentioned the Tomb of Nazarick. It's my home and was founded by a powerful knight named Touch Me before he recruited Ainz-sama who used to go by Momonga." she began to explain. "Despite it's appearance, there are several floors that function as if they were pocket dimensions. With many smaller rooms and labs. Perhaps one of them has information and tools to heal the oni child." she finished.
Naruto thought it over for a moment, "It better not be a trap." he said as his emotions were messing with his usually laid back mind.
Albedo pulled out the chains that Arahnia made, "I will restrain myself if you wish. Despite certain opinions, I am the leader of the floor guardians and only one of them remains." she said.
Naruto started to feel calmer for some reason, "You are willing to use yourself as a bargaining chip?" he asked her. Albedo nodded, "Okay, we're leaving after I get a posse ready." he said.
A few minutes later
Naruto stood beside Albedo who was wearing her magic suppressing coughs. Both of them stood in front of several Tempest wolves who were being ridden by Kurt, Rigur, Panther Lily and Gobta.
"This is it then. It's good enough, but now is your last chance to back out if you want." Naruto said as he felt like he was too authoritative.
"We're with you boss!" Gobta exclaimed.
"Our co-leader called for help and we answered!" Rigur said.
"Someone has to keep you out of trouble." Panther Lily said.
"Wait for me!" everyone turned to face Kanna who was riding Ranga. "I'm coming too and Wendy wants Ranga to help." she said.
"I will help both my lord and my lady on this mission!" Ranga said.
Naruto nodded, "Good to hear. I will just leave everything in Rigurd and Wendy's hands again. Let's go everyone." he said as he put Kanna on his shoulder and sat on Ranga.
"What about her?" Kanna asked as she pointed at Albedo.
Albedo blushed, "I can't use my flight with my chains on." she said feeling like dead weight.
Naruto shot a web at her and sat her in front of him, "Let's go Ranga." he said.
Just as they left the village. Kurt proceeded to fumble with a small package before tossing it to Naruto. Who looked very confused by what it was.
"Arahnia thought you might need it. I do not know what the spider mistress made, but it must be important." Kurt said.
Naruto nodded, "Thanks anyways Kurt." he said.
"Any time my friend." Kurt said as the journey began.
Two hours later
Naruto looked around, "How far is it?" he asked Albedo.
"A few more minutes. I'm surprised by how fast these canines move." Albedo said.
"The Tempest wolves never fail to meet expectations." Ranga said proudly.
After a few more minutes, the group came upon strangely shaped hills. Where just behind it looked like a literal tomb that was on it's last legs. Rather than from old age, it was falling apart due to the fact it looked like there was an ancient war zone around here.
"Someone should fire the maid." Gobta commented.
"I don't think any maid could clean this up." Panther Lily said.
"So in there?" Naruto asked as he pointed at the tomb.
"As I said, there's several floors down. Though with the ring, we can easily transport ourselves to the throne room or maybe one of Demiurge's labs." Albedo answered.
"Then why didn't we teleport here instead of riding for son long!?" Panther Lily asked sounding angry.
"Because the connection has been damaged. Normally I could only be sent back here, but for some reason I have to be within the tomb's range." Albedo answered again.
"Just calm down Lily. We grab whatever can help Ram and leave." Naruto answered.
Panther Lily sighed, "Someone should stay outside just in case." He suggested.
"I can stay behind." Gobta said.
"Probably so you can avoid being trapped by a spider again." Naruto said as Gobta nodded.
"You guys almost left me behind!" Gobta complained, remembering waking up in a web cocoon.
Rigur put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "I'll stay with him. He could somehow get into trouble if we leave him alone." he adds.
Naruto nods, "Okay then, everyone else with me then." he ordered as he adjusted the ring. "Okay, so is there a button or…?"
*ZAP*
The group disappeared, leaving the two goblins behind, "I hope they're alright." Gobta said.
Rigur nodded, "I'm sure they are all fine. Maybe it's safer inside than out here in the… creepy… dark… old… tomb… of the dead." he said realizing how bad this looks.
Gobta started to shake in fear, "Take me with you!" he yelled at the tomb.
"I think it's too late." Rigur said as Gobta was ready to die from a heart attack.
Meanwhile the wolves just sat down and whimpered in worry. Yet all of them were not aware of how tame the atmosphere seemed. If someone were to compare the inside of the tomb.
Inside of Nazarick
Naruto was very sure the scariest thing in his opinion was meeting the Kyuubi. That dirty sewer and the long hallways leading up to a giant cage. Where he would see a giant monster that would be described in an old tale to scare children. Naturally being an arrogant child, Naruto challenged the creature as all he could see at first was the blood red slitted eyes and the sharp teeth that almost formed into the shape of a smile.
Thinking about it after he summoned Gamabunta. That was likely the scariest experience for Naruto aside from his phasmaphobia. Because Nazarick would definitely fulfill his nightmares and it took the symbiote itself to keep him silent. As he really wanted to scream in terror.
"You are fairly brave." Albedo said complimenting Naruto's silence.
Naruto looked at her and nodded. Yet deep down, he was still screaming in terror without anyone being able to hear. Not that they would as they were being chased by a giant rolling ball of stone.
"I know it's cliche, but the Supreme Beings said they found this ball to be a common trope. Something that is commonly used in a picture format called a movie." Albedo explained as they kept running until they found a hallway to duck into.
Naruto stopped screaming and opened a mouth hole, "Cool, they have movies here?" he asked, forgetting his nightmares leading up to the rolling ball.
"Could you explain to me what they are?" Albedo asked.
"I wanna know too." Kanna said.
*ROAR*
Naruto shivered as he heard what he considered to be the animalistic sound of an eldritch demon. Not wanting to stay too long, Naruto ordered the Tempest Wolves to keep moving. He already ran into hordes of skeletons, zombies and various other creatures including a few vampires. Naruto really did not like the land of nightmare fuel and would rather go back to his happier village full of friendly and misunderstood monster and animal people.
The only terrifying thing he was okay with seeing was in the mirror in his home. And Naruto wasn't referring to his human form either.
"I think I can explain after the undead army is not chasing us anymore." Naruto said.
"Pardon, but did you not unlock a new power from seeing the memories of Ainz-sama?" Albedo asked.
"Yeah, you made those other skeletons stop." Kanna said reminding Naruto.
Naruto slapped his forehead, "How did I forget that? Oh wait, nightmare land made me forget." he said as he could hear more sounds of demonic creatures.
"Now would be a good time to tell them to stop chasing us!" Panther Lily yelled as he saw several armored skeletons chasing them.
"How far do we even need to go!?" Naruto asked.
Albedo smiled proudly, "Very far! The Tomb of Nazarick is impenetrable!" she said proudly while earning glares. "Except for when that masked woman calling herself a hero had arrived." she said.
Naruto's eyes widened, "Wait, that hero was here too?" he asked.
"Do you know her?" Albedo asked.
"No, but I heard of her. From Shizu, she was a human adventurer who met her." Naruto answered before hearing more blasts. "Okay, I'm going to work up the courage to tell those things off. Next, I'm going to look for a therapist." he said.
"Yeah, this place is creepy." Kanna said.
"Creepy is the most tame way of describing this place!" Panther Lily said angrily.
Back in Tempest
Wendy rubbed her eyes as she tried to stay awake. By now, the slime girl was able to stabilize Ram's condition to lessen her pain. Enough to let her fall into a deep sleep. It did feel a bit better that seeing that Ram was not physically suffering.
"Rem, shouldn't you go to bed too?" Wendy asked as she saw Rem drifting asleep.
"No! I want to help however I can." Rem said.
Wendy nodded, "I'm not sure if I can do anything myself Rem. Only temporarily stop the pain." she said as Rem looked down. "But don't worry, I can figure something out. Maybe I need to find out more about the horns. Maybe we can make a substitute or a uh… maybe a placeholder for it." she said.
Rem looked confused, she really wanted to help but the only people that knew the most about horns were the adults of her village. Who were unfortunately gone as Naruto took the time to look for them when he had to fight those rogue wizards and fight Gamorrah. If anything, Rem believed that Ram had more knowledge as the older twin was naturally gifted since birth.
Leaving Rem with one idea that was very crazy.
"Wendy, take my horn!" Rem exclaimed.
"What!?" Wendy asked.
"Take my horn and put it on my sister!" Rem said.
"Rem that's crazy! You would get sick too!" Wendy exclaimed.
Rem shook her head, "My sister needs me! She's the gifted one and the strongest! If anything, she deserves two horns!" she continued to say.
Wendy gave Rem as a saddened look, "I'm sorry Rem, but we don't even know if that would work. We could have two people in need of help if we take your horn off." she said.
"But we have to do something!" Rem said.
Wendy took a deep breath, "Wait, maybe your horn can still help. Without taking it off I mean." she said. "Do you think you can show it to me?" she asked.
Rem nodded, "I can only hold it for a short while." she said as she channelled enough power to reveal a silver light in the shape of a horn on her forehead.
"Scan!" Wendy said as she touched Wendy's horn.
Rem whimpered as her horn felt weird as Wendy grabbed it. Almost as if someone was pulling on a bone that was ready to break off. Rem was willing to let harm come to her in defense of her sister but now she felt really uncomfortable. Although that did not destroy her resolve to save Ram.
"Analysis Complete: Unlike most Oni, the horn functions as a vital organ. Like all organs, the horn has a duty and a part of it is to control six elements within. The Oni known as Ram needs a way to contain the six elements to ease her pain and continue functioning. However, this is not a permanent solution as a horn cannot grow back or merely be replaced without an equal substitute." Great Sage explained.
Wendy frowned, "We can't replace the horn." she said making Rem look saddened. "But I can make the pain go away. Just for a while." she said.
Rem smiled, "Can you?" she asked.
"I think, let me see if I can transfer some magic or something." Wendy said before mentally asking Great Sage about the six elements.
Back with Naruto, some time later
After a couple of hours of traveling and trying to figure out the power behind the ring of Ainz. The group arrived at the throne room.
"We arrived at the throne room." Albedo said looking happy.
"We need a lab! Not a fancy chair!" Naruto yelled.
Albedo glared at him, "You are not a very good guest. I go out of my way to bring you here and this is your sign of gratitude?" she asked sounding angry.
Naruto's eye twitched, "I could always put you back in the cage." he said.
"Or punish her like a horse. Like in this magazine I found in skeleton rooms." Kanna said as she pulled out a magazine.
"Kanna give me that! Those are not pictures for a child!" Panther Lily said as he tried reaching for the magazine.
"Go away!" Kanna said as she pushed the exceed away.
Naruto proceeded to web the magazine away, "I am not treating Albedo like a horse. This is just gross." he said without looking at the photo.
Before the argument could continue, some doors opened. Revealing the other inhabitants of the Tomb of Nazarick. Naruto could see several maids, butlers, a penguin and some sort of giant blue beetle.
"Um hi?" Naruto attempted to greet the locals.
"Albedo, is this him? Is this the reincarnation of Lord Ainz?" asked a butler with a grey beard.
Albedo felt awkward, 'I know I promised this Naruto boy but… why did I agree? I could have just ran the moment he removed my manacles!?' she said mentally berating herself. Before remembering something else, 'But… maybe he had a point. Still, how do I explain my situation? That I returned as a failure and brought intruders? Gave away our most prized treasure?' she thought.
"Well? Also, who are those two and where is your protection detail?" the man asked.
"Hold you tongue Sebas, the reason for all of that is uh…" Albedo trailed off as she looked at Naruto who went full symbiote, minus the scary face.
"If you call this a reunion, then clearly you all lack in the department of festivities." Naruto said mimicking the voice of Ainz's skeleton form instead of his human form.
Everyone looked wide eyed and kneeled, "Ainz-sama, my mistake. I did not recognize you." he said respectfully.
Albedo looked at Naruto with shock as he continued, "I find the lack of hospitality insulting." he said.
Suddenly the penguin ran forward and tripped, "It is all my fault Ainz-sama! Even after all these years, I have failed to clean." he said sounding depressed.
"It's fine, you admitted your mistakes and now you can grow from them. Now then, onto important business." Naruto said, still maintaining the voice of Ainz.
Everyone looked at each other as if they had no idea what business Naruto meant. As if they relied on him for everything. Although it did appear that they were functioning well on their own to some extent. Despite that, they likely needed some guidance and strong leadership to overcome their difficulties rebuilding from the looks of things. Besides, it sounds like they are all in a rough spot since Albedo mentioned the Hero had defeated their previous leader.
This was someone who defeated and sealed Veldora away and at the same time, is stronger than Shizu. Along with any if not all of her students since some of them have obtained respectable titles.
"First, I need to enter Demi's lab. There's something super important there for me." Naruto said.
"Excuse me my lord." A red haired maid spoke up.
"Yes?" Naruto asked.
"Do you mean Demiurge's laboratory? Also, your words changed right now." she said surprising Naruto.
"Lupisregina, do not mock Ainz-sama's speech!" Whispered a bespectacled maid.
"I just wanted to bring it up. Don't get mad at me Yuri." Lupisregina whispered back.
"Uh yes, my mind is not complete. That's why I require entry into the laboratory. As part of an important project." Naruto said, trying to avoid slipping up. "Now then, is someone not going to escort me and my new sidekicks? My power is still far from it's prime." he said sounding demanding.
Albedo sighed, 'Somehow this is working.' she thought.
"Ainz-sama, if you do not mind asking. Why is Albedo-sama in handcuffs?" asked a blonde maid.
Naruto scratched his cheeks, "Very simple really… Albedo is mine and no one is allowed to touch her." he answered, earning an annoyed stare from the succubus.
"I see." the blonde maid said.
Lupusregina then gave one of her sisters a high five, "Albinz for the win!" she said.
"What?" Naruto asked.
"I believe most of the tomb is a part of a, "shipping war", my lord. Where many were arguing whether Albedo-sama or Shaltear-sama deserve to be your queen." Sebas said sounding like he's hating himself for having to explain this.
Not because Naruto didn't know what was going on. He was angry because the shipping wars was a thing in the tomb.
"I see." Naruto answered.
"Which I think is unfair because Shaltear-sama is no longer with us." said a maid with a mask.
Naruto nodded, "Yes, Shaltear will be greatly missed." he said. "Now about that lab." he said almost ignoring what they just said.
Sebas tried to speak up again, "Well there is a way to resurrect her, but unfortunately Pandora's Actor will not let anyone into…"
"It's fine." Naruto interrupted. "Now the lab? Anyone want to help a skeleton out?" he asked.
'Ainz-sama is acting weird. Poor guy.' thought Lupusregina with sympathy.
"Allow me milord." Said the giant beetle man.
"Thank you dear friend." Naruto said making the beetle nod.
'Ainz-sama is sounding affectionate, he must be very emotional and trusting to us to be willing to show weakness.' Cocytus thought as he pulled out a ring. "Follow me, although I suggests that your company stays behind. To begin an orientation course. Like with Renner when she defected to our cause." he said.
Panther Lily and Kanna nodded to Naruto, "Very well, how is Renner? I only just remembered them now." he said trying to sound social.
"Another unfortunate casualty Ainz-sama. Along with her human pet named Climb." The beetle said before teleporting himself along with Naruto and Albedo.
Kanna and Panther Lily looked at the crowd, "So, what's the 401K like?" the exceed asked.
"We don't do that here." Sebas said.
Panther Lily sweat dropped, "Do you guys do dental?" he asked. Sebas shook his head, "Is the work schedule any good?" Panther Lilly asked.
"Every minute of our lives is dedicated to Ainz-sama. Unless he forces us to take a vacation that is." Sebas answered.
"Kanna we need to leave. This place is terrifying." Panther Lily whispered.
"I want sweets." Kanna said.
"Right away ma'am." Sebas said as he got up and left.
In Demiurge's Lab, what's left of it
The trio arrived at the lab to find it a mess. Seeing as Demiurge had all sorts of crooked experiments no thanks to his creator who was very twisted. No one but his close assistants bothered to work on the lab. Which was ironic as all of his assistants were killed during the hero's assault.
Naruto looked around for a moment, "Is this it?" he asked.
"Yes sir, is there any other business you need for now?" The beetle asked.
"I will let you know soon. I need privacy and Albedo's help." Naruto said as the beetle man nodded and left. Naruto let out a loud yawn, "My throat hurts. Does Ainz talk like that all the time?" he asked.
Albedo thought it over, "I suppose his voice did change to be more deeper. More fitting for an Overlord." she answered.
Naruto sighed, "Poor guy then, being a nobody from another world and then being promoted to the top in just a day." he said.
"And what does that mean exactly?" Albedo asked.
"Oh yeah, I should probably not say anything. To be fair, this makes me question reality." Naruto said as he pulled out the ring. "Here you go." he said.
"What? But won't you need this to leave Nazarick?" Albedo asked..
"Yeah, but I trust so far. The only real problem is me trying to get out of this situation without a whole army chasing after me." Naruto said knowing the trouble he caused by lying about being Ainz.
"That aside, what do you mean a nobody? Are you referring to our Supreme Being starting from scratch to reaching his high status?" Albedo asked.
Naruto winced, "Sort of, I'm not sure if Satoru wants me to talk about it." he said.
"Why do you call him that?" Albedo asked, more like demanded.
"I already told you the truth Albedo. But I don't know if you can handle the whole story or where this whole place came from." Naruto said as he began to go through Demiurge's research.
Albedo looked at the ring in her hand, "I don't have the ability to see memories through the ring like you do." she said.
Naruto sighed, "Fine, if you want. I can show you what I saw after I find something to help Ram with." he said as formed a hand seal. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" he says as several Naruto's appear.
Albedo sighed as she took a seat, "I guess I'll just wait here then." she said already feeling bored.
"Hey, for the sake of reference. What exactly does this Demiurge research?" Naruto asked as he went over some binders.
Albedo shrugged, "There was a rumor that he studied to see if two separate species could reproduce." she said.
"Care to dumb it down for me? I didn't pay attention in school." Naruto said annoying her.
"Make two different animals have babies." Albedo said.
"That's weird, I guess that's why we don't have cow people where we come from." Naruto said imagining humans and domesticated animals having relations. Only to remember Kiba and his clan, "I think Demiurge's theory may be correct." he said confusing Albedo.
"How so?" Albedo asked.
Back in Tempest, some time later
Ram struggled to open her eyes. Where she found Wendy sleeping on a chair and Rem sleeping by her side. The pink haired girl struggled to move before feeling aches around her head. Yet not as bad as the ones she felt last night. Leaving her wondering if the aches were just temporary as she's been hiding them lately.
"What happened?" Ram whispered before Wendy woke up.
"Ram?" Wendy asked.
"Wendy, what happened?" Ram asked, having vague memories.
Wendy smiled, "I temporarily cured you." she answered.
Ram looked confused, "How?" she asked.
"Well, since your horn is important like your organs. I can't replace but I can make your body feel like it still has some of it's power." Wendy explained as Ram reached for her forehead. "I don't know if we can cure it for good, but I won't stop treating you." she said.
Ram nodded, "Thank you, I will accept what you can give me." she said before rubbing Rem's head.
"She wanted me to give you her horn you know." Wendy said as Ram stopped.
"What?" Ram asked.
"I told her I won't because it would hurt her. I also know as a big sister, you don't want to see Rem in pain." Wendy answered.
Ram's eyes widened in surprise, "Why go so far for Rem and myself?" she asked.
Wendy's smile never faltered, "Because I'm your friend Ram. Everyone here wants to be your friend. Friends help each other." she said.
Ram looked away for a moment, "I only want to stay for Rem's sake until we can move independently." She said.
"I know, but that does mean we won't accept you if decide to come back someday." Wendy said giving Ram some mixed feelings.
Just as Rem started to wake up, "Sister?" she asked.
"Rem go to sleep. You stayed up long enough." Ram whispered as she tried to put her sister back to sleep. "Speaking of which, where's the imbecile?" she asked, referring to Naruto.
"That's mean Ram, big brother Naruto took a search party to look for a good doctor. He still hasn't come back so that means he's probably got a good lead." Wendy suggested once again putting Ram into deep thought.
"I think I'm going back to sleep. Do you mind leaving me alone again?" Ram asked.
Wendy nodded, "Okay Ram, good night." she said as she blew away the candles lighting up the room.
Leaving Ram alone with Rem. Hoping for a less painful tomorrow. Hopefully expecting Naruto to come back with a doctor or perfect solution to Ram's issue.
At Nazarick, hours later
Naruto groaned as he slammed his hands on a table, "All this research and nothing!" he yelled.
Albedo, who fell asleep, stirred awake, "Eh? What are you worked up about?" she asked.
Naruto sighed as he and his clones were still working, "Nothing, just a lot of disgusting experiments involving using human flesh as partridge for scrolls. Scrolls which are pointless to me and my situation. With the only thing I gain from this expedition being a superior vocabulary." he explained angrily.
Albedo just stared at him, "At least now you won't be confused by every word with three or more syllables." she said.
Naruto gripped his head as he kept thinking, "How am I supposed to heal Ram? There isn't a skill, a magic technique or even an item…"
"Boss that's it!" a clone interrupted.
"What?" Naruto asked.
"An item! We don't have on here but every Floor Guardian has one World Item which can pretty much make anyone overpowered!" the clone shouts.
"Overpowered? What does a super weapon have to do with anything?" Naruto asked.
"Not all of them are weapons per se. Some just create scenarios and effect people in a way." the clone said,
Naruto smiled, "That is a good idea. Albedo, where do you store your World Items?" he asked her.
Albedo looked away, "I am drawing the line at World Level Items. Those things can vary in damage and are much too valuable to give up." she said.
Naruto face faulted, "It doesn't have to be anything overpowered. Just something to heal or maybe turn back time just a bit." he said.
Albedo shook her head, "No." she said.
Naruto's eye twitched, "Boys, get the jelly beans ready!" He ordered, confusing Albedo.
A few seconds later
Albedo found herself being held down onto a table, "NO! Get that disgusting thing away from me!" She commanded.
"Give me the jellybeans!" Naruto ordered as a clone took a jar out of Naruto's symbiote body.
Albedo started to shake around on the table, "What are you planning? Are you trying to poison me?" She asked.
Naruto raised a jellybean over her eyes, "These are special beans. Some just have a random flavor but do no harm. The others, they can vary on levels of harm." he said as Albedo's eyes widened. "Who knows, maybe one tastes like vomit, maybe one numbs your tongue or maybe… you lose all sense of free will!" He said.
"No! There is no way someone like you could obtain such tools!" Albedo yelled.
"Tell me where the World Level Items are Albedo!" Naruto commanded.
Albedo looked away, "I will do no such thing. I admit I felt pity for the poor oni and thought this would work as a form of retribution for my assault. Although you messing with me itself is a double insult. Therefore you owe me many favors after this." she said snidely.
Naruto frowned, "Are you really going to use the fact that I found a poster with your leader's name on it as an excuse?" he asked.
Albedo smirked, "You know, I could forgive all of this right now. If you get on your hands and knees, beg for forgiveness and swear the loyalties and yourself solely to me and live as my underling." she said.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"I take your silence as an agreement, yes?" Albedo asked.
"Open wide!" Naruto yells.
"NOOOO!" Albedo yelled as the clones held her down.
Despite her skills being restrained, Albedo had enough physical strength to create a big mess. As she thrashed around and destroyed some of the Shadow Clones by kicking them too hard. It really surprised Naruto to see how well a woman in a dress and heels could still fight. Still, it didn't make it any easier to punish Albedo. So after creating more Shadow Clones to hold her down.
Naruto grabbed a random jelly bean and shoved it into her mouth. When it was finally in. Naruto covered her mouth with his hands while ignoring her muffled screams of terror. Until Albedo finally calmed down and started chewing and acting more rational. When her cheeks suddenly flushed and became bright red as Naruto backed off.
"Are you willing to cooperate now?" Naruto asked.
Albedo let out a moan, "I like strawberry." she said.
Naruto sighed, "Well that was a waste." Naruto said.
"That did not get me what I wanted." Naruto said as he turned, to find one of the maids there. "Uh, this isn't what it looks like." he said.
The made that was here was CZ or "Shizu" as she was designated. The main six maids are known as the Six Pleiades and each are a different species despite being sisters. CZ specifically is an emotionless automaton who for some reason likes cute things like the penguin butler. Having no concern when she crushes him with a hug.
"I saw you disciplining Albedo for insubordination. You have every right to do so my lord." CZ said sounding monotone.
Naruto sweat dropped, "Yeah, Albedo here doesn't like to listen." he said.
"What command did she deny?" CZ asked.
Naruto looked a bit nervous, "She refuses to tell me where she hid all of the World Level Items." he said hoping honesty would save him.
"Each Floor Guardian has one my lord. However with the deaths of everyone minus Cocytus and Albedo. They are all stored back with Pandora's Actor in the Treasury again." CZ said as Naruto glared at the still euphoric Albedo.
"Where is he again?" Naruto asked.
"Just use your ring my lord. Also, tell him I said, Uwah." CZ said as Naruto sighed.
"My amnesia will be the end of me one of these days." Naruto said with an awkward chuckle.
"Without speaking out of turn my lord, what happened to your voice? Does your new species require a new voice box like Entoma does?" CZ asked.
"Uh… yeah. It does." Naruto lied before CZ left a trail of food and left the the room. Naruto sighed, "I screwed up hard. I need to remember to do the voice. Now then, let's get those items." he said as he turned to Albedo.
Who started gigging, "You have flesh, but I have flesh… bone daddy has flesh now, teehee!"
"Uh boss, I think the jellybean wasn't a dud. In fact, I think she's stoned or something." a clone said.
Naruto groaned, "All of you keep studying. I'm going to find those items." he said as he lifted up Albedo in a bridal carry.
"Noooo… I want table." Albedo whined.
"I'll take you back later. Right now I need you to help me in case we get lost." Naruto said.
Albedo pouted, "Can I have another jellybean?" she asked.
Naruto raised a brow, "Sure, you can have as much as you want." he said, wondering if that free will bluff actually came true.
The clones watched as their real self left. As they continued working and wondering if their leader made it to the Treasury. One of them stumbled across another journal written by someone named Ulbert.
With Naruto
After a few minutes of trying and failing. Naruto arrived in a strange room where a man who looked like a bowling ball dressed like a nazi was sitting. Naruto looked around quickly before adjusting his voice.
"Is this the treasury?" Naruto asked, impersonating Ainz.
The uniformed man stood up and saluted, "Ainz-sama! Father you have returned!" he shouted.
Naruto cringed as he heard that. He could remember brief memories of Pandora's Actor who Ainz felt ashamed of. Not that the doppelganger did anything wrong, rather he was far too flamboyant and weird.
"Yes, now I have an important mission and it may require a World Level Item." Naruto said.
"World Level Item! Infinite power!" Pandora's Actor said dramatically.
Naruto sweat dropped, "Yes, and it doesn't help that Albedo is drunk. I've been gone far too long and need a World Level Item for an important experiment." he explained.
"Very well! Let us gooooooo!" Pandora's Actor said dramatically.
Naruto sighed, 'Somehow Satoru showed me memories of that guy, but not much else. I guess my mind can't handle everything at once.' he thought.
Albedo giggled, "I want a jellybean." she said.
Pandora's Actor stopped and blushed, "Oh my, is that romantic code? Ainz-sama, you lucky dog, I envy you." he said feeling proud.
Naruto hanged his head, "Let us go already, Pandora." He said.
Pandora's Actor saluted, "Ich stehe zu Ihren Diensten!" He exclaimed.
Naruto sweat dropped, "Good for you." he said before gently putting Albedo down on a couch. "Stay here." he told her.
Albedo pouted, "Noooo!" she whined.
"Stay." Naruto commands as he followed Pandora's Actor.
As they arrived at the front of a hallway filled with statues. Statues of the 41 guild members of Ainz Ooal Gown. Among the memories Ainz gave Naruto in his ring. He could remember a few faces in this room along with a brief mention that Ainz would one day have someone put his equipment on one of the statues. Making this place a real mausoleum in remembrance of the dead. Kind of creepy after thinking about it, but to someone like the skeleton.
It was a sweet way to remember everyone. Despite the fact that they were likely still alive in the other world.
"Ainz-sama, before you go in there for the World Level Items. May I copy your form? Even if it's temporary, I would like to connect with my creator." Pandora's Actor said passionately.
"Sure thing, go right ahead." Naruto said seeing no wrong… yet.
Pandora's Actor suddenly bursted into strange flesh before turning into a symbiote, "I feel perfect. Ooh, my voice sounds different." he chuckled.
Naruto chuckled awkward, "Yes, now then." he said as he walked through the hall of statues.
When suddenly, his spider senses kicked in and he jumped onto the wall. Naruto looked around and saw the statues came to life. Where they all proceeded to attack him with various weapons that the old guild members used.
'What the heck!?' Naruto thought as he avoided several light arrows aimed for him.
"Bastard!" Pandora's Actor yelled.
"Huh?" Naruto asked.
"You thought you could trick me!? If you were my creator, you would know that as a doppelganger, I can read minds to some extent. So I know the truth you filthy vermin!" Pandora's Actor yelled in a voice filled with rage.
'I screwed up.' Naruto thought. 'Maybe honesty is the best policy!' he thought before avoiding more light arrows.
"I will also be contacting everyone and putting them on high alert! As well as locking up that treacherous succubus!" Pandora's Actor yelled as Naruto avoided a heavy sword strike.
"You have issues!" Naruto shouts before jumping away from more ranged weapons.
Just as Pandora's Actor left, Naruto slid under statue and turned his hands into spiked balls. Before smashing the head of the statue. Then leaping away as several light arrows finished it off.
"Okay, so each golem has the armor and weapons of the 41. Yet they don't have their true power." Naruto said to himself as he began to web some of them up. "Except that doesn't mean their equipment lack passive skills." he said before one golem smashed him into a wall.
Naruto groaned in pain before avoiding a giant hammer. Using the lack of speed from his opponent, he pulled down his foe with his webs and brought down his heel against it's head. With two down, Naruto still had about 35 left for some reason. From what little he knew, only 37 were made despite the fact that minus Ainz himself, there should be 40. Yet that doesn't make this any easier.
"It doesn't matter, not all of them are going to break with brute force alone and I doubt poison will kill a statue." Naruto said to himself before avoiding a giant fist to the head. "Crap! Black Lightning!" he yells as he blasts the golem into several others.
Naruto then shot a web line at the same golem and pulled himself towards it at a high speed. Where he used his momentum to smash his hammer shaped fist at the golem's head, obliterating it.
"Three down!" Naruto said before avoiding a ninja like golem. "Flare Circle!" he yells he traps it along with several others. It wouldn't too long before they broke out, "Let's see you handle this!" he yells as he stabs his hand into the floor, causing several black spikes to appear and skewer the golems.
A good thing to come out of such a narrow hall is being able to attack multiple targets. Of course Naruto is still in danger of the remaining statues attacking him at once. Putting that into thought, Naruto web zipped into the ceiling to avoid the golems converging onto him. From there, Naruto started to charge up a lot of Veldora's electricity into his arms.
"Venom Fist!" Naruto yells as he jumps down and punches one of the golems. Naruto stretched his hand as it felt stiff, "I was still hoping to train this power, but I guess I'm desperate." he said before his spider sense started freaking out.
Quickly jumped into the air and started spinning in the air as he avoided several large shards of ice. As he landed back onto the floor, some of the golems were hit by the shards. Where that beetle man and several others had appeared.
"You've brought me dishonor intruder! Lying and impersonating our deceased lord and master! For that, you will face a punishment far worse than execution!" Cocytus yelled angrily.
Naruto sighed, "I know I did a shitty thing, but if Albedo's attitude meant anything. Maybe negotiation isn't your strong suit." he said sounding a bit remorseful.
Cocytus proceeded to fire more ice at him, "Such things will not go unpunished or forgiven with mere words!" he said as Sebas and the Pleiades came right behind him.
Naruto groaned, "This is the worst day ever." he said as he avoided a super punch from Sebas. "Remind me to hire my own battle butler. Maybe he can deal with bullshit for me." he said before avoiding Yuri's punch.
Eventually, Naruto was surrounded by both sides. Causing him to get desperate in this dire situation.
"I haven't tried this either but here we go!" Naruto shouts as the maids get closer.
"Do not let him get away!" Yuri ordered.
"AVAVAGO!" Naruto shouts as Gamorrah bursts from a magic circle on the floor.
"ROAR!" Gamorrah roars as he scoops up several maids in his mouth and starts chewing despite them resisting.
Naruto started to charge up his lightning again, "Damn, if Pandora's Actor alerted them. Then what did they do to Panther Lily and Kanna?" he asked sounding concerned for them.
The next morning, Tempest
Lucky was a white exceed and unlike what his species originally believed. They were nowhere near the level of superiority needed to dominate humans. As most weak humans with no skills in magic could be defeated by a pack of Exceeds. Although there are some strong ones like Panther Lily and most of the guards. Lucky himself is a normal farmer trying to make crops to feed his new home. When several intruders decided to just attack them.
"GAH! Stupid trespassers! Get off of my corn!" Lucky yelled just as a muscular gray ogre was stepping over his crops.
"Let's just get out of here already!" yelled another Exceed yelled.
"I can't do that now! We're already starving as it is!" Lucky yelled, continuing to express his anger.
"We'll grow more!" the same Exceed yelled.
"That will take even longer!" Lucky yells even more loudly.
Just as two Exceeds drag the angry screaming farmer. The red ogre who functioned as a leader to the group of ogres appeared. Making demands as several goblins and Exceeds lie defeated around him.
"Give us your leader!" the ogre demands just as Wendy and Carla appear.
"What the heck? Who are you guys?" Wendy asked as she saw the mess.
"Wendy, I'm afraid those ruffians are not the type who wish to talk things out." Carla said as the red ogre pointed his sword at them.
"Reveal yourself majin!" the ogre demanded.
Carla then grew a tick mark on her head, "But that does not excuse your poor manners! It's customary to introduce yourself first you savages!" she said angrily.
Wendy sweat dropped, "What happened to talking things out?" she asked, referring to Carla's attitude.
"Enough of this! No human could enslave monsters without magic!" the red ogre yelled before charging at Wendy.
Wendy and Carla dodged the attack as the former used a flash step to appear in front of the grey ogre. Who attempted to bring down his giant hammer on Wendy.
"Paralysis Breath!" Wendy yelled out, causing the brute to collapse.
When suddenly the purple female ogre attempted to strike her from behind. Only for Carla to come barreling down on her. Making her crash into the dirt.
"I may lack strength, but I still have my intellect." Carla said as she stomped her human foot down on the ogre's back.
Before the ogre could fight back, Carla jumped off as Wendy restrained her, "Sticky Steel Threads!" she called out.
Carla smiled, "I know Naruto must be proud." she said as Wendy tried to replicate webbing.
Before they realized, the were separated by a great wall of flames. Carla looked to the side to find an elderly ogre trying to approach her with a pink female ogre hiding in the back with an orb of fire in her palm.
"Wendy, the pink haired girl is using support magic!" Carla yelled out before avoiding a sword strike.
Wendy nodded, "Okay Carla, I'll try to think of something when we get to her." she said as a blue haired ogre tried to attack her. "Body Armor!" she calls out as her arms turns lizard like.
Causing the blue haired ogre's sword to shatter as he stumbled back. Wendy managed to push him away causing him to crash into a tree. Knocking him unconscious in the process.
"Can't we just talk things out? I don't want to fight!" Wendy exclaimed.
"Shut your mouth majin! It's because of you and your majin friends that my people, the ogres, are wiped out!" the red ogre roared.
"You have it all wrong!" Wendy tried to say as the red ogre screamed in rage as he charged at her.
When suddenly, someone interrupted the fight.
(Naruto OST - Sarutobi Theme)
Instead of continuing his blind vengeance against the innocent. The red ogre suddenly found the heel of a foot landing on top of his head. Causing his face to hit the dirt with a big crater being formed in the process.
Wendy gasped as she recognized the intruder, "Big Brother!?" she asked.
Naruto, now wearing Arahnia's gift, smiled under his mask, "I'm here Wendy. Just in time and looking slick." he said as Wendy marveled at his new appearance.
A unique outfit composed of mostly black. With leather boots, leather pants, a vest with a jacket and matching gloves along with a mask and white goggles. To add to the design, came a black trench coat with a big spider emblem on the back. Now Naruto could officially and literally say that he's fashionably late.
"I think she calls this one, Noir." Naruto said as he looked back at his opponent. "Now then, who's the big bully coming here to beat up my little preteen sister? Or are you so cocky and righteous you think you don't need an excuse?" he asked as he cracked his knuckles.
The red ogre growled before realizing what Naruto said, "Little girl?" he asked.
"Yeah a little girl. And these people are all my friends and I leave for one night to find medicine for another little girl who's sick." Naruto said before cracking his neck. "Now, are you going to quit or do you need a good butt whooping?" he asked as the ogre growled.
"Then you must be the real majin!" the ogre yelled.
"I don't know what a majin is and I'm not going to pretend to be anything after last night." Naruto said before pulling the ogre in with a web.
The ogre stumbled at the sudden gesture before Naruto raised his arm. Causing the ogre to collide with it and crash into the ground. The ogre quickly recovered and tried to stab Naruto with multiple quick strikes. Which he blocked by drawing several claws from his knuckles like Logan. Despite lacking the finesse and grace of a sword, Naruto blocked each attack before trapping the blade between two claws and twisting in the process.
Like a grip guard, Naruto was able to make the red ogre's arm twist. Forcing him to drop the sword before dealing him a blow to the face with a boot.
"Naruto! You still have to help Carla!" Wendy exclaimed.
"She's fine Wendy. I had to call in a favor." Naruto said before webbing the red ogre to the ground. "And you, stay put." he said.
With Carla
Just as the shape shifting Exceed avoided the wall of flames and the strikes from the elder ogre. She soon found a giant wall of ice blocking her view from the elderly ogre. When suddenly, the beetle man, Cocytus, had appeared. Despite being covered in multiple cracks and strange blue substances leaking from them. He stood his ground just as the elder ogre broke the ice and struck Cocytus.
"You are indeed skilled, but weak." Cocytus said before slapping the old man away. "You lack honor by attacking a small child." he said.
The elder winced as he sat up, "It is an order from my prince. Therefore I must accept his task." He said.
"A dishonorable order, yet I fully understand your reasoning. For that, I will hold no ill will in this duel." Cocytus said as he pulled out more weapons in each hand.
The old man disappeared from sight before appearing above Cocytus. Who quickly blocked his attack before scratching his chest and making him fall back. The old man took a few breaths before charging Cocytus again at blinding speeds and attempting to stab him in quick succession. Only realizing that Cocytus makes up for his poor speed and reflexes in strength and defense. When he eventually found a blade impaling him in the gut and making him fall.
"Such strength, what sort of creature are you?" the old man asked.
"I am Cocytus, former floor guardian of the Tomb of Nazarick and now… commander under Lord Naruto's rule." Cocytus said proudly. When he summoned a giant wall of ice to block the blue flames, "Now that I respect you as an equal despite your lack of strength. Tell that small child to stop interrupting our battle!" he demanded as the pink haired ogre squealed in fear.
Only for Naruto to web her up, "Sorry kid, I don't want to do this but you attacked us first." he said as he grabbed her shoulder.
Only for the red ogre to break free of his web bindings, "Ogre Flame!" he yells. "Unhand my sister!" he demanded.
"You need to yield first!" Naruto said as he turned he let go of the girl and turned his arm into a spike.
"I will never surrender to a majin!" the red ogre yelled as he waited for Naruto to leave his sister's side.
When he did, he turned into a puddle of goo and moved towards the ogre. The ogre once again used Ogre Flame to burn Naruto. Only for him to ignore it thanks to having a fire resistance now. The ogre then tried to repeatedly slice him as the goo attempted to reach him. With no success as the symbiote reformed and attached itself to the ogre before eventually trapping him in place.
"Yield, I will not ask again." Naruto demands he restricts the ogre's movement. Causing the ogre to fall to his knees, "He surrenders." he said just as Cocytus appeared, carrying the elder ogre over his shoulder.
"He was quite skilled but lacked strength. There would have been a few times where he would have killed me if not for my arms and exoskeleton." Cocytus reported.
"Naruto, who is that?" Wendy asked.
Naruto chuckled, "I'll explain in the village." He said.
Later that night
You can guess what happened next. That's right, another party or celebration of sorts. With the ogres apologizing due to the confusion of a recent attack on their people. Which sadly only the few here present have survived. The prince, the red ogre, sincerely apologized mostly due to his sister explaining that there is no connection to the village and the people who attacked the ogres. With that out of the way, the ogres were still offered a place to stay at Wendy's behest.
Along with some of Nazarick's denizens for some reason. That Naruto had yet to explain but said it involved stress and lots of pain on his end.
Oh and Cocytus now respected Naruto.
"My lord, I think you for your gratitude." Cocytus said.
"Hey, no need man. I was in the wrong and shouldn't have taken advantage of you." Naruto said, looking at the damaged guardian.
"But it's because of your benevolence that I live today and that you offered my people a new home. Even if our old lives are gone." Cocytus said as he got on his knees and bowed. "For that, I will repay this debt by serving you." he said.
"Hey, I said you don't need to do that buddy." Naruto said.
"Please let me serve you. So one day, I may spar with you on equal terms!" Cocytus pleaded.
Naruto sweat dropped, 'First all of you want to kill me. Now you want to serve me.' he thought awkwardly.
"Please let us serve you as well." said the voices of Sebas and the Pleiades.
Naruto jumped up in surprise, "When did you all get here!?" He asked as he saw the injured group.
"It took us a while, but Albedo lead us back." Sebas said.
"Also you left your smaller goblin friend behind when you teleported away. Gobta I think is name is." Yuri said.
Naruto sweat dropped, "You guys, I mean I promised I could help you guys rebuild in the future. You don't have to abandon your home or anything. Unlike me, you guys still have a real home." he said.
"That may be true, but even then. We've accepted that things can no longer be the same and it's only more harmful that way." Yuri explained. "Therfore, while the Supreme Beings will never leave our hearts. We know Ainz-sama would still want us to be happy and let us choose our own goals." she said.
"So that's why we want to serve you now!" Lupuregina said.
"O…kay, well there's no use. I mean if you guys seriously want to leave it all behind. Then there's no use arguing it with you." Naruto said with a sigh before looking at the night sky. 'I really didn't expect this. First I wanted to save the guy I thought was my best friend. Now here I am, helping lead a village of monsters and people with either no homes or broken homes. I wonder if Granny Tsunade has it this rough.' he thought.
Elsewhere, with Wendy
Wendy grinned as Albedo handed her a small cloth, "Will this really work?" she asked.
Albedo nodded, "Lord Naruto did not rest once until he found this remedy for Ram. It turns out he never needed a World Item but just a lesser tier tool." she said.
"So will this stop the pain?" Wendy asked, sounding hopeful.
"Well… there is a permanent solution but it will take some time." Albedo answered but Wendy hugged her waist.
"Thank you Albedo, you are a nice person." Wendy said making Albedo's heart feel warm.
"Your welcome Wendy." Albedo said.
"Fufufu, my little Wendy is growing. Such a good girl and she's helping everyone with all her might." said the voice of Grandeeney.
"And Naruto is still being a hopeless knucklehead. Still, I give him points for persistence." The kyuubi said.
"BWAHAHAHA! Such amazing children! I cannot wait until we are all released and get to enjoy the village!" Veldora said.
"I can't leave because of the Shinigami's seal you baka! And Grandeeney here still has to keep Wendy from turning into a dragon." the kyuubi said.
"Ooooh… you guys might not need to worry about that. Especially with us being able to share a space." Veldora said before both creatures noticed a small isue.
"What!?" Grandeeney and Kurama asked.
"I should be angry here! You two might get to be released before I do! I will be lonely and sad… no offense Ifrit." Veldora said.
"This is so strange." Ifrit said wondering what is going on between these three.
"Hey thinking about it. Since both Wendy and Naruto are monsters now. Would it be possible to rename them? Renaming a monster even with the same name still amplifies them." Veldora said.
"I doubt it, but still. It would be a good test." Grandeeney said.
"She's right, just look. I name the gaki, Naruto Tempest. After the village name he picked." The kyuubi said before waiting a second. "See?" he asked.
Then Naruto collapsed as his magicule and chakra reserves appeared to either have fused or just increased in general.
"LORD NARUTO!" a lot of people screamed.
"Way to go dummy." Grandeeney said teasing the fox who snarled at the name calling.
TO BE CONTINUED…
NOTES: The fight in Nazarick will be revealed in the next chapter along with the beginning of the Orc Lord Arc. Also, I'll keep the poll going until the next chapter and declare the winner by the time it's posted. Remember to vote! It's a close race!
Super Cafe
Superman yawned, "Overlord's good and all, but I feel like most of that was rushed and not all the slow parts were rushed." he said.
"At least Ram is going to be okay. Poor kid." Batman said.
"That's good I guess, it even connected to the masked hero in a way. I wonder who she is." Superman said.
"Did you not read the light novel? You need to read the light novel." Batman said.
"Did you read the light novel?" Superman asked back. Only to receive silence, "Ha, I thought so. I'll just wait for the manga." he said.
"The manga isn't always good. It follows the anime and skips some parts out. Just look at Shield Hero!" Batman argued.
Superman scoffed, "Yeah, let's not go into the anime version of the Amber Heard trial before it happened." he said before looking at the camera. "Remember kids, domestic abuse has no gender." he said.
"Yeah, you think you should just ignore it if it happens to a guy or some manipulative bitch decides to use it? It's not a damn joke!" Batman yelled.
Then Asura appeared, "You know what is a joke? Like a really bad one?" he asked gathering their interest. "Spider-Man, No way Home didn't get the nomination for best picture." he said.
"Seriously?" Superman asked.
"Meh, whatever." Batman said with a shrug.
"Batman, that movie was amazing! They tried to deny and hide that Andrew and Tobey were coming back! How do you not care?" Superman asked.
Batman shrugged again, "I don't care. It's just another red and blue suited spider kid. They never change it up." he said.
"What sure they do! They skipped Uncle Ben's death and the origin story and…"
"I don't care Superman. They're just going to replace this new guy in 2030 anyways." Batman said. "Do you or do you not remember that my role was played by the freaking Twilight Vampire?" He asked.
"The movie was good wasn't it?" Superman asked.
Batman laughed, "Okay I think it was." he said agreeing.
"I didn't see it." everyone turned to look at Mavis.
"What" Batman asked.
"I didn't see the new Batman movie." Mavis answered.
"Why!?" Batman asked.
Mavis shrugged, "I think I missed it. Is it still streaming on the HBO app?" she asked.
"It's not… wait was it on HBO?" Batman asked.
Asura thought it over, "Mortal Kombat was and I think Halloween Kill was on Peacock." he answered.
"Still, that's inexcusable!" Batman exclaimed.
"I'll just look it up online." Mavis said.
"You better not be committing online piracy!" Batman yelled.
"Just save a few bucks and wait for it to stream." Superman suggested.
"He's got a point, it's cheaper than breaking the law… and getting a virus on your computer or smart phone." Batman said knowing those sites are a hacker's wet dream.
Asura sighed, "I'll rent it out and we can watch it at the apartment." he said.
"You guys live together?" Superman asked.
Asura nodded, "Yeah, Mavis doesn't know how to handle money but I don't know how to keep the apartment clean." he said.
Batman chuckled, "You know, I never have to worry about cleaning and finances." he said.
"Because your…" Superman was interrupted.
"Because I'm BATMAN." Batman said.
"No, because your butler does that for you and you just sign a check." Superman said referring to Alfred.
"Oh yeah." Batman said remembering Alfred.
"You have a butler!?" Mavis asked.
Batman started running, "I see the Bat signal!" he yelled.
Superman sighed, "And he leaves me with the tab… again." he said with a groan.
END OF SUPER CAFE
