Chapter 6
The Illusion Of Control
Elizabeth smiled as she listened to the noises coming from upstairs. Every so often there would be another raised voice, or a loud laugh, but overall she thought things were probably going well for her daughter.
"It smells good, pet," Michael said with a grin.
"Thank you, Master," Elizabeth replied. She moved to check the stove, gave the food a taste, and decided to add a bit more salt.
"How did your day go?" Michael asked, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. Elizabeth felt her heart beat faster and shuddered slightly, still very wound up from a day of edging with no release.
"It went well, Master," Elizabeth told him breathlessly. "Hermione was going spare with nerves, so I distracted her."
"Oh?" Michael quirked an eyebrow. "How did you do that?"
"Well," Elizabeth giggled, "I took her up to our room and made her use her mouth for about three hours. She seemed pretty calm after that."
Michael barked a laugh at this, stepping back and shaking his head.
"Like mother, like daughter I suppose," Michael provided, an overly pompous and sagely tone in his voice. "Nothing cures a bout of nerves for a slut like turning her brain off with sex."
Elizabeth turned and gave him a look of mock indignation.
"Master! You're so mean sometimes." But her eyes betrayed the humor she felt at his comment. "What did you find out about Harry?"
"I'm more convinced that the problems are mainly neglect, but it seems to be of a very depersonalizing nature," Michael told her. "He didn't seem to have any expectation of privacy or independence, he's not in a single family photo in the house, and his Aunt seemed to assume that everything was his fault. But there was also…" Michael searched for the right phrasing. "A kind of hatred or loathing. Maybe just of him, or maybe of magic in general."
"That's…" Elizabeth's face softened. "That's unfortunate. Are you sure we should return him?"
"I'm actually more convinced we should now," Michael answered, surprising his wife.
"Really?" she asked disbelievingly.
"Yes. Their neglect of him and hatred for either him or his connection to magic is so pronounced that whoever is responsible for putting him there in the magical world must know about it." Michael paused to make sure Elizabeth was following his thoughts. "Now, while it's possible that the person that placed him there is simply neglectful themselves, or indifferent to his condition, I think that's unlikely. For several reasons. For one, he's a rather prominent person in their world from what we know. For another, from Hermione's description there are several very important people in their world that seem to care about his wellbeing to at least some degree."
Michael paused again, this time to see if Elizabeth wanted to contribute.
"I suppose," she allowed. "So you think the wizard that placed him there knows he's neglected and also isn't indifferent to his suffering. So then… why is he there?"
"Why indeed," Michael agreed. "If both of those things are true, the only thing that makes sense to me is that either that particular house or his relatives are somehow magically important to protecting him from something more harmful than the neglect. I could be wrong of course," Michael said, "but what if removing him for the whole summer ruined some complex magical ritual that we simply don't understand, Liz? I don't think that's a step we should take when we're so ignorant of how magic works, and in particular, how whatever magic is at that house works."
Elizabeth nodded unhappily.
"What if we discussed it with the children?" she asked. "Obviously they'll know more about magic than we will."
"We might be able to do that," Michael said, but his tone indicated that he didn't think it was a good idea. "But then, they're not even halfway through what the magical world considers basic magical education."
"We can't just ignore the problem," Elizabeth countered. "I don't want to knowingly send that boy back to something that probably tears him up inside, even if he's grown numb to it."
"I think," Michael started, "that maybe we can go with the option we were talking about last night. The one about Diagon Alley."
"How would that help?"
Michael sighed.
"After dinner I'll take Harry with me and we'll spend the night in a hotel in London, then we'll start on the plan we discussed. The apartment, the furnishing, the whole thing. I'll spend a week with him setting it up and training him on how to be a Dom, but… I'll alter it slightly."
"The training?" Elizabeth asked, intrigued.
"Yes. Instead of starting with the guidelines, the persona, the mentality… I'll start with the philosophy. The parts that most people figure out for themselves years later."
"Why?" Elizabeth asked, confused.
"Because Liz, that part might actually teach him how to improve his own situation at the Dursley's."
Elizabeth's eyes widened and she studied him carefully.
"You can't move his body out, so you want to teach him how to move his mind," Elizabeth said cryptically.
"In a way," Michael agreed. "What I want to teach him is exactly how people control other people. Not just in the lifestyle, but in all facets of life. Whoever placed him there has made a situation in which he has had to grow up and mature very quickly, but he hasn't been given the tools to do that. I want to give him the tools. After a few weeks back with his relatives we can pick him up again. From what Hermione's told us it seems that whatever sort of magic might be in place there only needs him to live at the house for a few weeks each summer, based on previous years."
Elizabeth was silent for a few seconds before responding.
"You're asking a lot of him, which is what every adult in his life seems to do." She went silent again.
"I know, pet," Michael agreed. "I'll explain my ideas to him once we leave tonight."
"Will this cut into the timeline we were hoping for?" Elizabeth asked.
"That depends on him," Michael said. "I'll contact you tomorrow evening and let you know where things are at. I might need… a teacher's aid the day after tomorrow." Michael's eyes held a gleam of mischief.
Elizabeth giggled.
"Master, please make sure you don't kill the poor boy with embarrassment."
Michael was about to reply with his own witty remark when they both heard sounds coming from the top of the stairs. Turning towards the hallway together they watched as the two teens walked into the room, both of their faces slightly flushed and Hermione's eyes looking down in front of her. They did not, however, seem to be upset with each other or avoiding each other, so Michael and Elizabeth took it as a sign that things went well.
There were a few seconds of awkward silence where Hermione seemed to steel her resolve and Harry made an admirable effort to not look at either adult without seeming rude.
"Harry would like to learn," Hermione finally said softly.
"Very well," Michael said, walking over to the boy. "Harry," he said gently. Harry looked up at the man, clearly uncomfortable. "It's okay to feel weird, this isn't something that teenagers usually get involved in. But I want to make it clear that you have nothing to be concerned about from either me or Elizabeth. We're not going to expect you to be perfect at this, we're not going to yell at you for doing things with our daughter, and we're not going to force you to do things if you don't want to." With each word Michael spoke, Harry seemed to relax slightly. "I know that this has all been perhaps a shock, but we just want what's best for Hermione and the people she cares about. That includes you."
"Dad!" Hermione admonished with a blush in a sort of whispered shout. Michael ignored her and continued.
"You and I will spend a week in London. You'll have a chance to ask questions, learn new things, and relax. We can even see some sights if you'd like. Have you ever experienced central London?"
"No Sir," Harry answered.
"No need to call me Sir," Michael said warmly. "You stopped doing that in the car ride over, don't start again."
Harry pondered the conversation he'd had in the ride here and realized that by the end of it he had been having a much more casual conversation. Thinking back to that easy exchange, Harry realized that it had been with the same man that was standing in front of him now. On top of that, he had known the whole ride that he was driving Harry to have the conversation with Hermione, and what it was about.
Harry felt himself relax fully after going over this in his mind. There really was nothing to be worried about right now. He didn't have to hide anything from them because they had already known.
"Let's help set the table," Michael said.
The whole thing was quite surreal to Harry. The conversation he'd had with Hermione, what Mr. Granger wanted to teach him about, even the intimate feeling of the family meal he was sitting down for. He'd never gotten this feeling from a meal with other people before. It was… safe. Without expectation.
Elizabeth brought the dinner to the table and they all started dishing up.
Harry glanced over at Hermione as he began to eat, mulling several thoughts in his head.
Nothing in my life is normal. For once, the thought didn't feel so bitter inside him. I don't really understand this very well, but Mr. Granger said he could teach me and answer my questions. Maybe then I can figure out if this is something I actually want to do.
"Why will you be going to central London?" Hermione asked, bringing Harry out of his thoughts. He looked at Mr. Granger and saw the man glance at his wife before answering.
"You told us a few days ago about the adventures you've been on sweetheart," Michael started. Harry felt guilty at this topic, realizing that he was the cause of most of Hermione's 'adventures'. "Well, your mother and I discussed it that evening and the next morning. Clearly there is something dangerous going on in the magical world, and it's affected our daughter and her safety."
"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Granger," Harry muttered, looking at his plate. Michael turned to the boy for a moment.
"It's not your fault, Harry." Michael waited for Harry to look up at him before continuing. "From what we've heard, you haven't been given very many choices in your life that would allow you to avoid the things that have been happening. You can't be responsible for something you didn't choose, Harry. The people who chose it for you are responsible."
Harry had never quite thought about it like that, and his mind connected it back to his conversation with Hermione.
What was it exactly? She said something about how most adults don't have the ability to avoid a choice. She connected choice and control. Is that what this is all about?
Michael watched the boy process his statement and was pleased to see concentration on the boy's face.
"I think I understand, Mr. Granger."
Michael nodded and turned back to his daughter.
"After hearing all of the details, we talked about it and agreed on a few things. First, we don't think it's coincidence that these things have revolved around Harry and his friends. We believe them to be connected in some way. If that's the case, it would only be a matter of time before those same issues spread to us as well." Michael paused to take a bite before continuing. "We don't have any magic sweetheart, your mother and I, so if someone magical meant us harm there would probably be very little we could do to stop them."
"What does that have to do with going to London?" Hermione asked confused.
"From what you've told us it seems like the only hope of protecting against magic is with more magic," Michael answered. "Now while your mother and I can't do any of that, not all of the magic you've told us about requires someone to be actively casting it. Right sweetheart?"
"Right…" Hermione agreed, still not sure where this was going.
"Well, your mother and I have decided to set up a magical home for ourselves. A place where we can set up the kind of magic that can protect us and protect you. While the events so far seem connected, they also seem to be in the background. That's part of why so few people besides you two and your friend Ron have noticed them. While I'm helping answer Harry's questions, we're going to head to Diagon Alley, and he can help me investigate what options your mother and I have on this front."
Hermione's eyes widened as her father finished his explanation.
That's… very smart, Hermione thought. If all of these things are part of something larger, then there might only be a short window of time before setting that kind of thing up may become difficult without attracting attention.
Hermione felt her eyes water and dropped her head, a few sobs escaping. Harry looked at her in confusion and fear, feeling an intense concern well up in his chest at not knowing what was causing his friend such distress.
"What's the matter sweetheart?" Michael asked softly.
"I…" Hermione sniffled and wiped her face. "I've been so worried… that learning all this magic, being part of this other world… would drive us apart." She smiled even as her eyes remained red and puffy. "But you both want to learn more, and help keep us a family. Keep us together."
Elizabeth reached forward and grabbed one of Hermione's hands firmly.
"We will never make you go it alone, sweetie," she said with a faint smile. "We told you when your letter came that we will love our daughter and stick with her, and that being a witch doesn't change who your family is."
Harry looked between the three and felt a coldness deep inside him. He felt out of place. This moment seemed too personal for him to be there, and he felt very much like he was intruding upon something private.
The coldness though was something that surprised Harry: jealousy. Hermione's mother had just articulated something that Harry's heart had desired above anything else, he had just never been able to put it into words. Parents that loved him no matter what he did or who he was.
This was the second time in less than an hour that Harry had discovered a feeling he had inside that he'd been able to ignore simply because he couldn't identify it. But like before, now that it was identified he could no longer push it to the side. Harry jerked his eyes away as Mr. Granger reached out and took Hermione's other hand, willing himself to push that feeling back, deep inside him.
It's not Hermione's fault that I don't have any kind of real family, Harry reminded himself. You can't hold it against her. She hasn't done anything wrong. You should be happy for her.
He felt something touch him and flinched, his eyes darting over. It was Hermione. She'd let go of her parents and reached out to hold his hand. His eyes trailed up from where their hands connected to her eyes and surprise filled him. He could see it in her eyes. She knew what he was thinking about right now. She knew that he was bothered and what was bothering him.
Harry had learned from a very young age to not be emotionally expressive. When your emotions are never cared for or acknowledged eventually they become something private that just gets in the way of the things you need to do. Harry had always been an emotional person, he was aware of that, but he'd never really been able to talk about it with another person and could only really identify the emotions that matched things he'd experienced or observed while at school.
Hermione though seemed to staring deep inside him to the parts of himself that were a mystery even to him. She wasn't disgusted or afraid, she seemed… concerned. And sad.
Harry gave her a weak smile and pulled his hand out of hers so that he could return to eating. He didn't really participate in conversation for the rest of the meal, instead trying to work out all of the strange things he'd experienced over the last few hours and how they fit together. He was drawn back in though once the plates were cleared by a question from Mr. Granger.
"Harry," Michael started, capturing the boy's attention. "Your things are still in the car, so you don't have anything to gather. We need to leave soon since we still need to drive into London and find a hotel. Why don't you say goodbye to Hermione while my wife and I take care of a few things upstairs."
Harry nodded in response, then slumped in his seat. The sounds of Mr. and Mrs. Granger climbing the stairs soon faded.
"Harry?" Hermione's voice ventured quietly. "Thank you."
Harry turned and looked at her. He couldn't help but smile at how genuine her expression of gratitude was, and he was sure that she had more she wanted to say. He noticed her fingers fidgeting in her lap and looked back up at her face.
"What's the matter Hermione," Harry asked, the signs of her anxiety obvious to him after so much time spent together.
"I…" Hermione seemed to waver for a moment. "I want to give you a hug and… a kiss."
Harry was surprised at this. She had given him hugs before, and never hesitated to do so regardless of anything else. The mention of a kiss made him nervous, but he supposed from what Hermione had described upstairs that was only natural.
"Why haven't you then?" Harry almost kicked himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He was confused and wanted to clear up his confusion, but even he recognized that the question came out more as an accusation than an inquiry.
"I'm sorry, Harry," she said in a despondent voice. "I… we talked about the… control, right?"
"Yes," Harry agreed, taking care to use the most understanding voice he could muster.
"And then, when we were coming downstairs. You gave me an order. Did that… help you understand a bit?"
Harry couldn't help his grin at remembering that moment. It had been pure instinct and nerve that had made him give her the instruction, but the feeling he'd had after she responded the way she did was… it was one of the nicest and most fulfilling feelings he'd ever had, and he'd known instantly that even if in the end he couldn't manage to make this work out with Hermione, he was going to try as best he could.
"Yes, it did."
"If we do this, you get to set the boundaries Harry," Hermione explained. It wasn't her lecturing tone, it was much closer to the tone she'd had after he'd given her the order.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked. Setting the boundaries himself was certainly a new idea, and not an unwelcome one, but he didn't quite follow what she was getting at.
"I'm…" Hermione hesitated again. "I'm asking your permission to give you a hug. And… a kiss."
Harry watched her eyes dropped to her hands as she finished the explanation. Boundaries, control, choices… Harry felt like he was beginning to understand a part of the role that Hermione was asking him to fill and why she thought he might enjoy it. He was also starting to get the barest insight into why she might prefer the role that she did.
"Er… how about this. I'm going to give you… another order," Harry ventured. He felt extremely unsure about what he was doing, thinking that he was going to need a lot of answers from Mr. Granger before he knew what he was doing. But after he finished speaking he saw Hermione's cheeks get that same rosy tint they had upstairs at the door, and that same goofy, small grin spread across her features. Her reaction generated a warmth inside him that he was so very inexperienced with, but he liked it, and he wanted more of it. It gave him the confidence to continue on with his order. "You can give me a hug any time you wish, just as long as it doesn't interfere with something I'm doing."
"Yes Harry," Hermione replied almost immediately. Harry's confidence soared at the acceptance she was showing him, and he decided to continue. He was annoyed however that she was still looking down at her hands, as he needed her to be facing him properly for the next part.
I wish she would look up! Harry thought, trying to catch her gaze. Wait… can I just… make her? Like before?
"Look at me, Hermione."
Her face rose, her eyes met his, and in them he saw such happiness and joy. That feeling so clearly painted on her face, and the indescribable feeling he got when she did what he told her to, steeled his resolve and he leaned forward. Before he could lose his nerve or the feeling inside that the new role he was playing seemed to generate within him, he closed the distance and gently pressed his lips against hers.
They both stayed unnaturally still while their lips met. Neither quite knew what, if anything, they should be doing while their lips were touching, and the new feeling it sent through their bodies was so revelatory that it made it difficult to think about taking an action. This was… perfect.
Feeling that perhaps it had been long enough, Harry slowly pulled back a few seconds later and their gazes met, seeing the reflection of thrill and discovery that each of them felt inside themselves in the other's eyes.
"Um…" Harry mumbled. "And… there's your kiss."
Hermione's face broke into an uncontrollable smile and her eyes became watery again before she reached forward and pulled him into a tight hug. This one felt much different to Harry that her hugs ever had before. Her face seemed to be fitting into the crook of his neck like a puzzle piece, instead of being simply pressed against his shoulder.
"Thank you… Harry."
The drive into London was fairly subdued, and Harry tried to organize all the thoughts and feelings that were swirling within him. Every so often Mr. Granger would point out something they were passing to Harry, but otherwise the man let Harry keep his silence. Before too long the car was pulling into a parking lot for a rather large and expensive looking hotel. Harry grabbed his trunk and followed Mr. Granger to their rooms after stopping by the front desk.
"This one is yours," Michael explained, handing a key to Harry. "Don't lose the key."
Harry looked at it, unsure of how to respond.
"I… get my own room?"
"Of course, Harry," Michael answered, leading them both to door which matched Harry's key number. "I told you that I would be helping you with some of the control and confidence problems, right?" Harry felt uncomfortable at having that aspect of his life discussed so openly and shifted on his feet. "The first part of that is making sure that you are given the freedom to have your own space, your own privacy, and your own time. I don't have a key to your room, Harry. I can only get in the room if you let me."
The situation felt strange for how different it was from what he was used to, but Harry also felt a kind of calmness fall over him and muscles that he hadn't realized were tense began to relax. Harry put the key in and opened the door, pulling the trunk after him. He heard the door shut behind him and turned around in confusion. Was Mr. Granger still in the hallway?
'I can only get in the room if you let me in'…
Harry set down the trunk and opened the door to find Mr. Granger still standing there.
"Would you be willing to help me with the trunk?" Harry asked. Already he could tell the difference between his experiences between his teachers or his relatives and Mr. Granger. Harry wasn't sure that the man truly understood how much that commitment to his word had meant to Harry, but Harry felt something begin to build with the older man that he'd never felt with an adult before: trust.
"Of course, Harry," Michael said, walking in and helping Harry relocate the trunk near the bed. "Er…" Mr. Granger's unsure sound caused Harry to look up from the trunk where he'd been unpacking and his eyes snapped to movement outside the window where Hedwig was sitting on the window sill. "Have you received a letter?"
"It's Hedwig, my owl," Harry explained with a smile as he went over to the window and opened it. It didn't open very far, but it was enough for Hedwig to squeeze through. He ran his fingers through her feathers in affection. "You really are the smartest owl in the world," he said softly. "You weren't fooled at all by the change in plans at the Granger's. Did you come straight here?"
Hedwig hooted affectionately and nipped at his fingers slightly before hopping over to her cage. Michael watched with fascination as they interacted, seeing a side of Harry that he hadn't observed before. A part of Michael felt like Harry had at dinner, that he was the odd one out on a family moment that didn't include him. But the moment passed, and Michael straightened himself.
"Well, I should get to my room," he said to Harry. "Will you need help with anything else?"
"No Mr. Granger, thank you."
"For the rest of the week, I want you to call me Michael," he requested. Harry paused, then shrugged.
"Alright Michael."
"I'll see you in the morning. Set your alarm for 7, we'll want to get an early start."
Michael left, and after a short while of just taking in the change in his circumstances, Harry laid down in the bed and went to sleep.
The alarm woke him almost right away, being used to getting up early both at school and at the Dursley's. Before long he was washed and dressed, ready for the day, and heard a knocking on the door to his room. Still basking in the independence this new situation provided him with, Harry answered the door to find Michael waiting patiently.
"Good morning, Harry."
"Good morning, Michael," Harry replied, stepping aside. "Would you… like to come in?"
Michael smiled but shook his head.
"I'm afraid that we should be going. It's a bit of a walk to Diagon Alley."
Harry nodded, heading back inside to grab his wand, and joined Michael in the hall. Within a few minutes they were walking down the street, though Harry didn't know where to. He reasoned that they must be heading for the Leaky Cauldron, but he didn't know his way around London, and simply followed Michael.
"Why do we need to visit Diagon Alley exactly?" Harry asked. "We haven't gotten our supplies list yet, it's only been a few days since we left school."
Michael nodded in agreement.
"We're going to look for some sort of real estate agent, or whatever might be the equivalent in the magical world," Michael explained. "After that, we'll visit some of the shops and inspect what sorts of magical devices might be usable to me and Elizabeth."
They made a few more turns down various streets before Michael spoke again.
"During this week Harry, I'm going to give you a great deal more freedom and independence than you are probably used to. However, there are still things that I expect of you as the adult responsible for you at the moment."
Harry nodded.
"What expectations do you have?"
"We'll spend mornings and afternoons together, either talking or training, but I will leave you to yourself for the evenings. If you want to make plans with me during the evening you may, but otherwise we'll each enjoy some time to tend to our own interests and affairs. Does that sound reasonable to you?"
Harry's mind got a bit stuck on the word training, but he nodded at the question figuring that it was far more than he could hope to get from anyone else.
"Er… Michael, what exactly are you going to be training me in?"
They turned a corner and Harry saw the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron come into view.
"Let's get some breakfast and discuss it," Michael answered, pointing ahead. They found themselves a more secluded and private booth, settling in while they waited for their food.
"So…" Harry began, cutting into the silence.
"Ah, yes," Michael said, looking as if his mind had been elsewhere. His eyes focused in on Harry however, and the young wizard knew he now had Michael's full attention. "Let me start by getting some of the things that may be bothering a young man like you out of the way." Michael took a breath. "I am fully aware that what Hermione was discussing with you was very sexual in nature, and I have no illusions about the fact that if this works out you will probably see my daughter naked quite often. So there's no point in harboring embarrassment or anxiety on that front."
Harry wanted to object. As hard as it may be for Michael to believe, despite the discussions he'd had with Hermione, Harry still hadn't really thought through to the fact that this would lead to one of the key requirements to engaging in sexual activities: nakedness. The objection died before it reached Harry's lips and his face grew hot.
"I see," Harry muttered instead. "Erm… how can… I mean, I know that I don't know much about families, but I thought father's were supposed to be… upset about that kind of thing? At least at our ages."
"I think you're right, most would," Michael agreed. "To be honest, what my wife and I are doing with you two is extremely unusual. There are many people who would find it to be very wrong."
"But… you don't?"
"Well…" Michael seemed to think something over before continuing. "Even I wouldn't suggest this kind of thing to 14 year-olds most of the time. But as I'm sure you've come to realize being around her Harry, Hermione is… special."
Harry nodded and Michael spoke again.
"She is more mature, and puts more thinking into the choices she makes than many adults do. I won't go deep into the details, but I know there is little use in trying to stop my daughter from doing something she feels she needs to. I offered to train you Harry because if you decide to go forward with this, you will be the only one who can stop her from doing something she shouldn't."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
"The largest responsibility of a Dom, Harry, is to protect their sub. Sometimes from others, sometimes from you, and sometimes from themselves. A sub usually enjoys following the directions of the Dom that they've submitted to. She'll listen to you in a way that she won't listen to anyone else, not even her parents. Do you understand what I'm saying Harry?" Harry remained silent, working through what he was being told. "The best protection I can offer my daughter is to help you learn how and when to reign her in. How and when to protect her."
Harry's mind was racing.
"That's…" Harry paused. "A lot of responsibility."
"It is at that," Michael agreed. "I need you to listen to her though, Harry. She should help you decide important things, like what to do with money. She's good at that kind of thing, and you should take advantage of that."
Their food arrived shortly and after they had taken a few bites Harry spoke up again.
"Michael, how am I supposed to let Hermione help me decide things if I'm also her… er… Dom. If I'm controlling her?"
"Being a good Dom doesn't mean depriving your sub of agency, Harry," Michael answered. "It means their agency is subservient. Some people might not understand the difference, but it's important. You can't be afraid that letting her make some decisions or help with some decisions will ruin your credibility as the person that controls her. You need to be confident that she is yours even at the times that you're letting her do as she pleases.
"A Dom who punishes or controls a sub just for the sake of it is often insecure, and is using the feeling of power that comes with it to make up for their own insecurity. They are scared that they'll lose control if they stop, and then the only thing they'll be left with is the insecurity that made them want to be a Dom in the first place." Michael eyed Harry carefully. "I think you have insecurities, Harry, and I want to teach you how to get past them. Many of the lessons about how to be a good Dom teach you how to be comfortable with the things you cannot control as much as the things you can."
"So," Harry said, "sometimes a Dom will control someone because they're insecure?"
"Yes. Some Doms who act this way engage in far too much punishment. They try and create respect through fear."
"Hmmm…" Harry hummed. "Hermione mentioned something about wanting to be punished though."
Michael let out a short laugh.
"I don't doubt it. Some subs enjoy being punished, or feeling pain. It should always be fair Harry. If you punish her, try and teach her something with it. Often a sub will want to be punished because the pain sort of… flushes the guilt out of their body." Michael's face turned more serious. "But you shouldn't punish her to make her fear or respect you, because that's not control."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
"If you do that Harry, you're not in control of yourself, and if you're not controlling yourself, then you're not controlling anything else either. What is the purpose in controlling someone simply because they fear you, or they worship you, Harry? Where is the joy or companionship in that?" Michael gave a moment for his statement to sink in. "The most fulfilling kind of control over other people is the control that they knowingly give you. When a parent begins to let their child make their own decisions for the first time, it feels exhilarating and wonderful to the kid. That's because it was given to them by their parents willingly, and the parent does this because it is healthy and helps the child grow. If you ever control someone else Harry, sexually or otherwise, it should always be for the purpose of helping them grow more into the person they want to be. When you do that, they will want to give you control, and you will want to use it."
Harry felt like this was making a lot of sense of the things he had talked about with Hermione.
"Any kind of control over a person," Michael continued, "except for the control that is freely given, is an illusion. This Voldemort fellow that I've heard about from my daughter has that kind of control over people, the kind that is built through fear. But what would happen if someone took that fear away from people? Voldemort's control would be gone. He also controls through hate, the hate that some wizards have for muggles, and that hate is also born out of their fear for what will happen to their lives, their traditions, their families, and their wealth.
"If anyone could ever take that fear away from your world, or the muggle world for that matter, men like Voldemort would be reduced to nothing but a man-child throwing tantrums about how unfair life is." Michael paused for a moment. "Fairness is, in fact, one of the main things that a lot of submissives get out of submitting. A good Dom might discipline them, even cause them pain, or push their boundaries, or make them uncomfortable. But so long as it is fair, it is still often more fulfilling than the life they might lead if they made all the decisions for themselves.
"Life is unfair Harry, I think you know that better than most. To a submissive, their Dom can often shield them from the unfairness and anarchy of life. To a Dom, having someone depend on you for that kind of protection and guidance can be fulfilling and comforting in a life that you often have very little control over. But a submissive should never submit to hide from the world, and a Dom should never take out their anger at the world on their submissive. Those that do ultimately never find that completeness that comes from a person willingly giving you control over them.
"Who has control over you Harry, and where does that control come from?"
Harry was startled to have such a question directed at him so suddenly. He'd felt like a great deal of wisdom was being imparted on him, and had quite forgotten that he could engage in the conversation as well. That might actually be part of the reason Michael had asked the question, Harry reasoned.
"My relatives have control over me," Harry started, "and it comes from my… fear of what they might do, as well as the people that society says are responsible for me." He thought about how to phrase the rest of his thoughts. "Professor Dumbledore has control over me, and that comes from my respect for him and what he has done, as well as the respect that other people have for him. My teachers have control over me, and that comes from their knowledge and the respect that it has earned, as well as Professor Dumbledore's trust in them." Harry paused again before adding one more. "And the Ministry has control over me, and that comes from their ability to arrest me, snap my wand, and throw me in Azkaban."
"I didn't hear you mention Voldemort," Michael commented. "Do you think he has control over you?"
"Yes."
"Where does that come from?"
Harry say back and thought for a few moments. How exactly did Voldemort control him? Through his past? But no, that wasn't control, not from what they'd been talking about.
"I guess… deception? He has control over me through his actions interfering in my life."
"That's not control Harry, that's cause and effect. Voldemort affects your life greatly, but I don't think he controls it. His actions can impact you, but they don't affect your actions or choices the same way that, for instance, your Headmaster's might. Do you fear Voldemort?"
Harry paused to really consider the question before answering.
"In a way… I know that he is dangerous, and that he wants to harm me. But…" Harry paused. "I'm not afraid of the idea of him, not like I used to be. After second year when I met his memory, I knew that he was once just like me, a boy that was upset about his lot in life. But I don't fear him really… I guess I respect the danger he represents. But it feels like control. What is control, if not that?"
"Control, Harry," Michael began in a voice that reminded Harry very much of Hermione lecturing, "is the ability to choose. You don't have the ability to choose who your relatives are or how they behave. You don't have the ability to choose the policies of your school or how they impact you. Even though some choices are not good ones, you have more choices than I think you realize. You could choose to not attend Hogwarts, to not become a wizard. The effects of that choice would probably be very bad, but you could choose that."
"No," Harry disagreed. "I couldn't. I don't think Professor Dumbledore would let me."
"How so?"
"Well," Harry explained, "I don't think he would let me decide to be a normal muggle if I wanted."
"So he would abduct you once a year and keep you at the school?"
"Well… maybe." Harry tried to consider how the eccentric man might react to such a situation. "I think he'd try to reason with me first, to change my mind."
"So he would defer to your control of your choices first?"
"I guess…" Harry agreed uncertainly.
"But when he saw you insisting on making a choice that would cause you harm and saw you be unwilling to listen to the wisdom of not harming yourself, only then would he take that control away?"
"Yeah, what's your point?" Harry was actually starting to become a little frustrated with this line of thought.
"That's what good parents do Harry," Michael replied. "They only exert their control when it becomes necessary to protect their child. Their first option is to try and teach their child to make choices that have a better outcome, and they only take that control away when it is necessary to prevent a choice that can't be undone.
"You may resent the control that people have over your life Harry, but I don't think Dumbledore or anyone else are really controlling your life in a way that a good parent wouldn't. The difference is that your life has been much more dangerous than most. They don't have good choices to choose from for you, but they aren't purposely making bad choices. When your child is in danger, protecting them often means taking away some of their control. I know that is unpleasant, but I think the real problem for you is that the things that are dangerous to you are so hard to protect against.
"How is your government suppose to protect you from something they don't think is real? How is your Headmaster supposed to protect you from your legal guardians?"
"He put me with them!" Harry answered, his voice becoming raised. "He's the one that left me there. They wouldn't be my guardians if he hadn't made them my guardians."
"But you say yourself that you think Dumbledore would try and let you make the right choice first if he could. Do you think this is different?"
"I don't know," Harry said, deflating slightly.
"I think it's the same," Michael said. "Granted, he hasn't explained it to you, and without the explanation it just feels like you don't have control, but I think it likely he placed you with them to protect you from a danger that he had few ways of protecting you from. I said earlier that control through fear is an illusion. You said your relatives have control because of your fear, but you have it backwards. I don't think you fear them. I think you probably have a lot of anger towards them, and resentment. What drives their control is their own fear. They fear magic, and they fear you, and they fear what others might think. It controls them. They have so little control over their own lives that they take out that control on you. I told you earlier, taking out your frustration with the world on a submissive is wrong, but it is doubly wrong when done against your child or dependent, because they don't have the choice to leave.
"What do you think would happen if your relatives weren't as afraid? If they had more control over their lives?"
Harry remained silent to the question as he honestly had no idea, so Michael finished his thought.
"I don't think that any of this excuses their inadequacy as your guardians. This is not about fault, this is about understanding. You can only control the things you understand, Harry."
Harry thought on that as they got up from their meal and headed out towards the entrance to Diagon Alley.
"I understand Hermione," Harry offered as he tapped on the bricks, the archway beginning to appear.
"No," Michael disagreed. "You don't. But you might, as time goes on. Now I am not here to teach you to understand my daughter, I am here to teach you to understand dominance. That's the key, Harry. Being dominant isn't about learning how to control the other person, it is about learning how to control yourself."
