Chapter 13
It's the first day of a new trimester, and already things are off to an interesting start.
"Welcome back everyone. I hope you had nice summer holidays. Now that we're in a new trimester, I thought we would change things up a bit. So, I have a new seating chart. This way you can get to know some of your classmates you might not have talked with much last trimester."
Ms. Hamada's announcement is met with sighs from about half the class.
"Oh, come on you guys, it isn't that bad."
Once she has rearranged us, I find that I am indeed sitting near people I have rarely or never spoken to. Although, somehow, Carsten and Ai are sitting close to each other. Did they pay her off, or what?
Anyway, my new desk mates are Hiroshi and Sakura. Hiroshi is a tall, fit guy with light brown hair and blue eyes. He's quiet and kind of broody. He only has a right arm. He's on the track team with my mom. I've kind of had a crush on him since the first day of class. At least, I remember thinking 'Yep, he's definitely the cutest guy in here.' I have admired him from afar, so I don't hate the idea of getting to know him better. Unfortunately, he does have a girlfriend. But I am okay with just admiring him from a little closer.
Sakura is kind of the opposite in most ways. She is short and a little chubby. She has shoulder length hair that is bright pink, and she talks non-stop. We are going to make for an interesting trio, I think.
"Okay, well, let's just dive right in with our first group activity with your new desk mates."
And apparently, we're going to find out how interesting a group we are right now.
"Okay, so each person in your group is going to take one of the three laws of thermodynamics and learn it yourself, and then teach it the other two." She laughs when some students look at her in an accusatory fashion. "I know it sounds like I'm having you teach each other so I don't have to do it myself…and I kind of am. But there's a reason. Some of you will find you learn better from teaching it yourself, while others learn better from being taught. This way, I am giving you all a chance to learn in the best way. Once you're all done, we'll talk about it together to make sure everyone understands."
I have a vague recollection of my dad telling me about the different modes of learning and doing exercises like this one. This is probably something he did. Which makes me smile.
Sakura notices my smile and says, "Wow you must be excited about this. You always do seem pretty brainy."
"Um…thank you? I do like science, so yeah."
We each did our part, but in the end neither of my partners did a very good job and I had to help them.
Once the bell rings, Hiroshi says, "Hey, you seem really good at this. I understood that better than I have pretty much anything in here. Science is my worst subject. Can I have your number? In case I have any questions?"
I feel my face flush. Please tell me he can't tell. Stay cool, Nakai.
"Y-yeah, sure. You can call or t-text me if you have any questions."
He's looking at me expectantly, why is he doing that? Is he…checking me out? It's only making me blush more.
He smiles and says, "Um…yeah. That's the plan. But you have to give me your number first."
Oh. My. God. Why am I so bad at this?
I force a giggle. "Oh, yeah. Okay. Here, I'll share it w-with your phone."
He flashes me his amazing smile again and says, "Great, thanks. Have a good one." He gets up and leaves.
"Y-yeah…you too."
To my horror, Ai and Carsten are waiting for me and have been watching this whole exchange. If I could turn any redder, I certainly did.
Ai especially is smiling wide with a twinkle in her eye.
I get up and walk towards them, ashamed.
Ai says, "So uh…you like him, huh?"
"Um…can we please wait to talk about this until once we get out to the quad? I've reached a critical mass of embarrassment and I need it to go down a little."
…
Once we get out there, I sit down next to Akari, and Ai has Carsten put her down next to me. Then she sort of shoos him away out of earshot. I guess this is girl talk.
Ai smiles and says. "If you still don't want to talk about this, we don't have to."
Akari says, "T-talk about what?"
I sigh. "I just made a complete fool of myself talking to a guy I think is cute."
Ai says, "Oh come on. It wasn't that bad."
"Really? He asked for my number, and I turned bright red, told him I would give it to him, and I was so nervous that I proceeded to forget to actually give it to him."
Akari says, "W-well at least he w-wanted your number."
"Yeah…that's true. I kind of forgot about that amidst all the embarrassment. But he also only did it because he wants help with science. I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend anyway."
Ai says, "Oh, come on. I saw it. He just used the science thing as cover to get your number."
"How do you know that?"
"Okay fine, I don't. But I think it's a likely possibility."
Akari nods, "I w-wasn't there, but it sounds very p-possible to me too."
I've been so embarrassed and caught up in my own stuff that I overlooked how seamlessly Akari is taking part in this conversation. She looked so upset yesterday after seeing Carsten and Ai, but she's basically talking to Ai right now and you would never know that. Fake it until you make it indeed.
"Okay fine it's possible. But the girlfriend thing makes it a lot less possible."
Akari and Ai, say, at the exact same time, "Are you sure he has a girlfriend?"
This makes all three of us giggle. Carsten meanwhile is observing the conversation with a smile on his face that gets a lot bigger when we giggle. He probably wants all three of us to be friends, I guess.
"I'm not sure, I guess. He had one last trimester, that's for sure."
Akari asks "Wh-who is she?"
"Um…a second-year girl on the track team. She's blonde. I don't know her name."
Akari says, "T-track team? Y-you could ask y-your mom."
Ai looks confused so I explain, "My mom is the track teacher."
"Ohhhhh. Then yeah, Akari is right. Get your mom to gather some intel."
"Yeah…not a bad idea in theory. I feel kinda icky about that, though. Not sure my mom will love it either."
Ai and Akari both look a little ashamed for suggesting it.
"Hey, it was a good idea. I'll think about it. But I'm only going to ask if it feels necessary. I don't have to do it right now. I'll wait and see what happens with him. Plus, I may just see them together and not need to ask anyway."
Akari says, "Y-yeah, that's a good p-plan."
Ai says, "Agreed." She turns to Carsten, "Okay, boy, you can come hang out with us again."
He laughs and comes and sits next to Ai. "So…what's the verdict?"
In a very silly voice Ai says, "I'm sorry, we can't discuss the proceedings of girl talk with a boy."
This makes both me and Akari laugh. I look at Akari and it seems to be genuine. Maybe if she sees that Ai is more than the girl who threw herself at Carsten, she'll feel better about things.
"Fine, fine. We need to get some more guys in this group. Where's Daisuke when I need him?"
I laugh, "He's only a sometimes-member of this lunch group."
Ai says, "Speaking of Daisuke, seems you have a type, huh, Kayoko? Tall, dark, and fit."
I blush and look down. She isn't wrong. But I don't really know how to respond. I never told her about Daisuke. I guess Carsten did. I shouldn't be too surprised, but I wish she didn't know.
When Akari sees my reaction, any good feelings she was feeling towards Ai evaporate in an instant.
Her voice gets sharp, and forceful, as she says, "She d-doesn't want to t-talk about that!"
Ai looks surprised by Akari's reaction, but then sees my face and says, "Oh. I'm sorry, Kayoko. Really. I didn't know."
"It's okay. I didn't know you knew about that. It just surprised me. I do…kind of have a type I guess."
Carsten says, "I'm sorry, Kayoko…should I not have told her?"
"No, it's fine. It wasn't some big secret, I guess. I don't like him anymore, but I'm still a little embarrassed about the whole thing."
Ai curses at herself and seems truly remorseful when she says, "I'm an idiot…sorry. Bringing up anyone like that without knowing how you felt was dumb of me. Especially because I didn't hear about it from you."
I smile at her. "Thanks. Apology accepted. Anyway, I will keep you two updated about Hiroshi." I laugh, "I'll let you two know if more meetings are required."
I look at Akari and she seems back to how she was before Ai embarrassed me. I think she must be satisfied with the apology.
The bell rings and we all head back to class.
—-
Akari and I are hanging out in my room after our first day back in band, talking about the music we played today. My mom is going to bring by some bath mats I asked for after track practice.
"My mom will be here soon. Um…I didn't tell her that I fell. I don't want her to worry."
Akari nods, "I w-won't say anything."
It's a good thing I said something because seconds later there's a knock on my door. Akari gets up and opens it and my smiling mother steps through.
"Hello girls. I see you're enjoying the dorm room."
She puts the bathmats down on the bed and gives Akari a hug before giving me one. She sits down on my bed.
"So, how was the first day back?"
"It was good. We are really excited about some of the music we'll be performing in a few months."
"Oh yeah? That will be the first performance for you two. I'm looking forward to it."
She turns to me and says, "I have some interesting news for you."
"What?"
"One of my track students asked me about you today."
Akari gets a big smile on her face, but I'm too dumbfounded to do anything but be flustered.
My mom continues. "His name's Hiroshi, you are in the same class, right?"
Oh my God. Maybe he does like me.
"Um..y-yeah. Wh-what did he ask?"
"If I was your mom."
I deflate significantly.
"Oh."
"What do you mean 'oh'?"
"I mean, I dunno. I thought maybe it was something else."
My mom laughs, "Like what? 'Hey, is your daughter single?' or 'Hey, is your daughter into tall guys?' I think him being curious about it at all probably means something."
"He did get my number today."
My mom smiles. "Well, then it definitely means something."
Akari looks at me, urging me to ask a certain question with her eyes. She's right, my mom brought this up so I shouldn't feel too bad about this.
"Um…do you know if he's single? Last I knew he had a girlfriend."
"I don't know for sure, but the girl he was with doesn't go to school here anymore."
Akari giggles, making my mom laugh.
"So, I'm guessing from the reactions you two are having, that you like him?"
"I think he's really cute. I'd like to get to know him better. But yeah, I definitely…could like him. I sit near him in class now, and he wants me to help him with science.
My mom smiles, "Well, good luck with that. It does sound promising. I'll let you know if I hear anything about him being single for sure." She winks at me.
My mom stands up, "Well, you probably don't need an old lady cramping your style any more tonight. Have a good evening you too."
"You too, mom. Love you."
She smiles, "Love you too, sweetie."
Once my mom leaves Akari squeals, "I think he liiiiikes you!"
"It certainly sounds more likely now, doesn't it?"
"That's all you have to s-say?"
I laugh, "I'm still in shock, I think. I…I really hope he does like me. I think he's like…the most attractive guy in our whole year, so yeah. I'm in shock."
"Well, he d-does like you, okay! D-do we need to get Ai in here for a meeting?"
I laugh, "You sure you want her here?"
Her face looks conflicted, "W-well, I wasn't really s-serious about getting her right now." She grimaces. "She's probably…doing stuff with Carsten anyway." She pauses for a moment.
"But…seeing her today as a normal person and not m-making out in f-front of me was…different. I can tell she really cares about you and Carsten so…I guess I'm okay with her."
I smile at her, "That's really good. I know it was hard. You really impressed me today. Especially because you got on her when she deserved it but didn't go too far."
She scoffs, "I c-couldn't believe the Daisuke thing. Especially once you said you d-didn't tell her. I may have…th-thought about slapping her. Briefly. But…she really did feel bad, and you f-forgave her, so I can too."
I laugh, "Thank you for not slapping her."
She smirks, "It took some serious self-control, so I will say 'You're welcome' even if you are being s-sarcastic."
—-
A few nights later, Akari and I are hanging out in her room working on school stuff. It's about 9 p.m. and we're studying for the science test tomorrow. The pinkness of her room is intense, but I noticed since I moved here, we've only been in my room, and that didn't seem fair.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, and when I pull it out, I see I have a text from Hiroshi and I feel my heart jump into my throat. He's been sort of flirty with me in class the last few days, at least according to Ai, but he hadn't contacted me yet. Akari notices that I'm staring at my phone and looks up from her worksheet.
She smirks and says. "Is th-that from…him?"
I nod and then read the text out loud,
"Hey Kayoko, I'm having a hard time with that first law of thermodynamics. Can you explain the equation to me?"
Akari smiles mischievously, "I bet you can explain it, c-can't you?"
I feel myself shaking slightly, "Yeah, I can. It's late though so it's not like we can go to the library. He probably wants me to call him. Obviously, I can't explain it through text."
I type out my reply, reading it out loud to Akari, "Yeah, I can do that. Do you want me to call you?"
He responds almost immediately, and I share that with Akari too, "Maybe. I learn better in person though. Can I come by your room?"
I find myself shaking even more now. My first instinct is…yes, I absolutely want him to come by my room. But I'm hesitating. I don't know if this means what I think it does. And if it does mean what I think it does, I don't know if he's single yet.
Akari looks surprised, "W-wow. He definitely likes y-you."
"I don't know. It is still just him asking for help studying."
"Y-yeah, maybe that's all it is. Either way, it gives you a chance to s-spend time with him alone and maybe figure out if he's single."
I nod, "That's true. I guess it's worth it no matter what. I am really nervous. I wish I was better at this."
Akari smiles at me, "Well, you've been all nervous w-with him this whole week haven't you? And he s-seems to still like you."
I smile at her, "Yeah…yeah, I guess that would be true, if he does like me. Okay, I'm going to tell him he can come by."
I send him my room number and tell him he can come by, and Akari practically pushes me out the door as soon as I do.
She smiles at me as I'm about to go into my dorm room, "I hope it goes well. I'll be w-waiting for a report."
"I will let you know. Oh…uh, can I borrow your desk chair? That way we can both sit at my desk." Without saying a word Akari pushes the desk chair into my room for me.
She winks at me and says, "See you soon," as she goes out my door and back to her room.
I look in the mirror and make sure I look good. I straighten out my hair some and my outfit looks pretty good. I'm wearing some jeans and a white peasant top blouse that shows just a little bit of skin around my collarbone, I think it looks good. I take a deep breath. I don't know if I've ever been this nervous.
Before long there's a knock on the door. When I open it I see Hiroshi with a big smile on his face and our science textbook in his hand. He looks incredible, as he always does.
"Hey, c-come on in."
"Hey Kayoko, thanks for helping. I just can't figure this out."
"Yeah, no p-problem."
Did my voice seriously just crack?
"Here, we can look at it on my desk."
He sits down at the desk and opens his textbook to the page about the first law of thermodynamics. I sit down next to him. The chairs have to be pretty close together because the desk is so small, so we're surprisingly close to each other. He smells really good, like he put on cologne or something. It's kind of intoxicating. I can feel the warm his body is putting off too.
I'm showing him what each of the different symbols in the equation for the first law of thermodynamics mean and trying my best to explain it to him without using too much scientific jargon. I have my head tilted to the side so that I can keep an eye on him to see if he understands, while I also write things out. Before long, I notice he is watching me intently. Not what I'm writing but me.
I look at him, about to ask what he's doing, and suddenly his hand brushes my hair out of my face, and he looks at me really closely. I feel like my heart is about to burst out of my chest.
He says, "You're really beautiful." And in the next instant his lips are mine. This is my first kiss, and it is wonderful. His hand is still on the side of my face, his lips are pressed against mine. Before I know what I'm doing, I put down the pen that I'm still holding and wrap my arms around him, pulling our chairs even closer together. He moves his arm to my lower back and firmly pulls me closer to him. Having part of our bodies pressed together while our lips are too is an amazing feeling.
Suddenly, I feel his tongue thrust between my lips and the shock snaps me out of it. I'm…not ready for this. He isn't my boyfriend. I don't even know for sure if he's single. What am I doing?
I pull my mouth away from him and he says, "What's wrong?"
"I'm n-not ready."
He smirks and says, "You seem pretty ready to me," before trying to kiss me again. I don't let him.
He sighs in frustration.
"I'm sorry. I like you. But I don't w-want to do any more than we just did y-yet."
"Why? I like you too."
"D-do you still have a girlfriend?"
He looks at the ground and doesn't answer.
I'm a horrible person.
I pull my arms back and shift the chair so I can move away from him. "Um…I think you should leave."
"Are you sure? I just want to kiss you some more. We don't have to go farther. I really like kissing you."
I want to let him kiss me more. He's so handsome. And he thinks I'm beautiful. But I can't.
"You…have a girlfriend. So…y-yes, I'm sure. You need to go."
He gets his things and leaves with an irritated expression on his face, while I sit in the desk chair feeling horrible.
I'm so stupid. Why did I think it was a good idea to have him in my room? Why did I let him kiss me? Why did I kiss him back?
I get in my bed and start crying softly.
That was my first kiss? With a guy who is cheating on his girlfriend?
I hear a knock on the door.
An excited Akari says, "I-it's me. I just wanted to see how it went."
"It's…open."
Akari could clearly tell I was upset from my voice, because she comes in and softly shuts the door behind herself and has a concerned look on her face.
She sees me lying in bed crying.
"Wh-what happened?"
"He…he kissed me. And I kissed him back. B-but he has a girlfriend."
Akari sits on the end of the bed and crosses her arms. "What an asshole."
"I-it's not just his fault, though. I…I didn't check first."
"Well, you said he kissed you first, right?"
"Y-yeah…"
"So yeah, it is all his fault. Even if you didn't kiss him back, he was cheating."
"Y-yeah, but I did kiss him back."
"Well okay, but it sounds like you also stopped it and asked if he had a girlfriend."
"I did."
"Stop blaming y-yourself. It's all his fault. You did the right thing, Kayoko."
"It doesn't feel like it. I…I feel horrible. My first kiss was with a guy cheating on his g-girlfriend. That will always be m-my first kiss. I w-wanted it to be with someone who cared about me. And…and that will always be it instead. H-he doesn't care about me. He j-just wanted to sleep with me or something. He thought I w-was the kind of girl he could do that with, even if he had a g-girlfriend." I start crying more intensely.
Akari gets in the bed with me and snuggles me from behind. It isn't something we've done before, but it is comforting.
"I'm really sorry Kayoko. Is there anything I can do?"
"I d-don't think so. I'll be okay eventually…I think I just n-need to cry about it. Crying helps sometimes."
"Do you want me to go?"
"Not unless you want to."
She hugs me a little tighter and says, "I don't want to."
—-
I wake up in something of a daze. The light is on. There's someone else with me in my bed. They are right up against me too. It feels pretty nice. Wait…what?
I roll over and see a sleeping Akari.
Oh…yeah. Now I remember everything. I must have cried myself to sleep, and Akari stayed with me. We're both still in our clothes though, and I'm sure she'd like to sleep in her own bed, so I should probably wake her up.
I pat her on the shoulder and softly say, "Akari, wakey-wakey."
"Hrmm? Oh…hey Kayoko. Do you f-feel better?"
"I do. Thanks for staying with me."
She smiles, "No problem. I'm…really s-sorry about what happened."
I sigh, "Me too. But it's okay. You were right, he's an asshole. It's his fault. I am definitely going to be more careful with my other firsts."
Akari sits up and gets out of the bed and stretches. "I want to punish that guy. Hey, w-we should tell y-your mom to run him into the g-ground."
I laugh, "That would be pretty funny. I don't think I will be telling her about this, though. Not for a little while at least."
"It isn't your fault, Kayoko."
"I know. I know that now. Thank you for helping me figure that out. But…I still don't want to tell her. I'm not ready." I yawn, "We should probably go back to sleep anyway."
"Okay, goodnight."
—-
The next day in class we thankfully didn't have any group work and I completely ignored Hiroshi, who attempted to talk to me multiple times. I filled in Ai with what happened during lunch, and like Akari, she's furious. These two tiny girls are scary when they are mad. Kind of reminds me of my mom.
Then, around 5 p.m., there's a knock on my door. I expect it to be Akari because that's who it usually is, but when I open it, I'm surprised to see Hiroshi. I cross my arms and glare at him to make it very clear that I don't want him there.
"What are you doing here?"
"I broke up with my girlfriend. Can you let me in so we can talk?"
"No. We can talk right here. I don't really care if you broke up with her. You cheated on her first. And you used me to do it. I'm not interested in that kind of guy."
"Kayoko…come on, I really like you. You're beautiful. I just want to spend time with you. Let me in."
"No. You need to go."
"Why are you being like this? I know you wanted me the other night. You had your hands all over me."
"That...that's not even true. And even if it were, I'm telling you I don't want you now. So, please, just go. I'm not interested. What more do I need to say to you to get you to go away?"
He tries to grab my hand, but I pull it away. "Come on, Kayoko. I broke up with my girlfriend for you, and you won't even let me in? That's not fair."
Akari's door opens slowly, and she looks furious. So much so that I'm a little scared. She must have been listening to see if she should intervene. I am thankful she does because he won't seem to listen.
"Hey, a-asshole. You h-heard h-her. G-get the fuck out of h-here."
So far, Hiroshi has kept a charming smile on his face that now seems really fake to me, but when he hears Akari, his face becomes angry, and aggressive. I think maybe I'm seeing his true face for the first time.
He turns around and hisses at her, "This doesn't concern you, you little freak. I didn't even know you could talk. Why don't you go back to just keeping your fucking mouth shut?"
Before I know what's happening, my right fist is making contact with the middle of his back. He staggers forward and almost falls over.
He turns around, wide-eyed. "Did you seriously just…hit me?"
My wrist is in excruciating pain. I dislocated it. Maybe a finger or two too. But I do my best not to show it.
"I did. You didn't seem to be listening to…words. Now…like she said get the fuck out of here."
He still doesn't look like he's going to listen. There's been enough of a commotion that a few other girls in the hall have poked their heads out of their rooms. Hiroshi sees this and finally starts to look like he's going to retreat.
"Whatever. You're not even worth it." He runs away, taking off down the stairwell.
After he leaves, Akari comes across the hall looking satisfied, but then she sees that I'm in pain, since I'm no longer trying to hide it. I'm now clutching my forearm and gritting my teeth.
"You d-dislocated it, didn't you?"
"Yeah…worth…it…need…nurse. Sling...Closet."
Akari gets me the sling and helps me get to the nurse's office.
When we get there, it turns out I dislocated my right wrist and middle finger. I have never dislocated my middle finger once, so at least that's new. I guess. Akari holds my hand while the nurse puts my joints back in place. In addition to a wrist brace, I will have to wear a finger splint. I won't be playing piano for a couple weeks at least. Probably longer.
Now that we're heading back to the dorms, Akari says, "D-do you think you'll get in trouble?"
I hadn't really thought of that.
I stop walking and sigh, "Maybe. I shouldn't have hit him. That was dumb of me. It happened so fast."
"Yeah, well he r-really wasn't listening."
"Yeah…that was annoying, but it was how he talked to you that really made me snap." I look at my throbbing wrist. "Pun intended."
Akari laughs, "W-well thank you, then."
I grimace, "I probably need to go stay with my mom tonight. I need to tell her about all of this before she hears it from somewhere else. I need to tell her everything."
Akari nods, "D-do you want me to g-go with you? I can provide some additional t-testimony."
I smile at her, "Yeah, that would be nice."
—-
We are at my mom's for dinner and then we're staying the night. She seems happy to have us. Too bad I have to tell her some bad stuff. I meant to tell her in the car, then I meant to tell her once we got to the house, but I kept putting it off.
After we finish eating, my mom can't take it anymore and just asks.
"You said you had something you had to tell me on the phone? Is this about how you got hurt?"
"Um…yeah, it is." I sigh, "Hiroshi kissed me when we were studying. But I put a stop to it and asked if he had a girlfriend. He just ignored the question and kept trying to do stuff. And he was pushy about it. So, I made him leave."
My mom's face becomes frighteningly intense, and her right hand is balled into a tight fist. Her normally sparkling green eyes have a dull glint to them.
"I may kill him if he hurt you."
"Um…he…didn't, not exactly. He came back the next day and told me he broke up with his girlfriend for me and tried to get me to let him in. But I told him I didn't want anything to do with him. Then he wouldn't leave. Um…eventually Akari got involved and told him to leave, and then he said some horrible things to her. Then, suddenly, I…punched him. I shouldn't have. I might get in trouble, so I just wanted you to know about it from me."
My mom raises her eyebrows, "Did you hurt him?"
"Not really…I punched his back. It surprised him more than anything."
Akira nods, "He was f-fine. He didn't fall over or anything."
"So, that's how you hurt yourself? I thought it seemed like an odd injury. You have never dislocated your wrist and a finger like that."
"Yeah. Aren't you mad at me?"
"Well…I wish you hadn't hit him. For your body's sake. And if he tells on you, you will probably get in some trouble. I won't really be able to protect you, either. But I'm not mad. Not at you." She clenches her fist again and her eyes narrow. "My blood is absolutely boiling about what he did though. All of it."
Akari adds, "Y-yeah. I also w-want to add that he was b-being aggressive. She t-told him to leave like five times. I d-don't know for sure, but he might have tried to force his way in. That's why I g-got involved."
At first, I think Akari is embellishing the story a bit to get me in less trouble. But then I think about the situation. He wasn't leaving. He was belligerent. He wouldn't even leave when Akari got involved. He wouldn't leave after I punched him. He really might have tried to get in my room without my permission. I need to be more careful about this kind of thing. I should never have had him with me alone in my room. That's something I should only do with boys I know better.
My mom nods, "Well, if he was being threatening in any way that does make things better for Kayoko. Were there any other witnesses?"
"Yeah, a few other girls saw the very end at least. That's what finally got him to leave. Even punching him wasn't enough. They probably heard a lot of it too."
My mom thinks for a moment, "Well, in that case I bet you won't get in trouble. Most, if not all those witnesses will be on your side. He also is a lot less likely to tell anyone because of that. It's his word against your whole floor. He'd have to be prettydumb to call for a disciplinary hearing over this. Of course, he was dumb enough to do this to his club teacher's daughter…" The menacing twinkle returns to her eyes. "So, anything is possible." She sighs, "There is a no tolerance policy about violence though, so it could maybe still be a bit of a problem…" She trails off and chuckles to herself.
"Um…what was that laugh about? Doesn't seem like a good time to laugh."
"Oh, just remembering a story your dad told me about Saki. She was in a …kind of similar situation once. Do you want to hear about it?"
I shrug, "I guess so."
"Well, your father and Saki, and your aunt and uncle too, went to the city on one of those organized outings during winter vacation. So did this guy named Maeda. He was Saki's ex. They…broke up after Kayoko passed away, because he blamed her."
Akari looks confused. So, I explain, "She's who I'm named after. She died in their first year. She had a fatal condition that affected her lungs, and she killed herself because it got so bad. She…got the idea from Saki, who always planned to end her own life when her condition got too bad."
Akari looks like she is on the verge of tears. I know this story so well that it doesn't really make me emotional anymore. But seeing her reaction does remind me just how sad it all is.
My mom nods, "Right, so that's why Maeda blamed her. Anyway, by their third year, your aunt and Saki were going to record a song Kayoko helped them write. Maeda found out about this and confronted her while they were on the trip. He…said some horrible things to her about the whole thing, telling her she basically murdered Kayoko and didn't deserve to record the song. Anyway, eventually Saki snapped and slapped the shit out of him." She chuckles, "The kid wore this stupid beret all the time and apparently it went clear off his head."
"So…this is similar. Someone said horrible things and I snapped. What happened to Saki?"
"Well, unfortunately for her, a teacher saw the exact moment of the slap and not what led up to it. She ended up getting suspended."
I sigh, "That…was not the encouraging ending I was hoping for."
"Well, her situation was different. A teacher saw, and Maeda wasn't really being threatening, he was just being a jerk. So, it was a little harder to justify Saki's violence even with the emotions involved. I think your case sounds like a better one. I think the worst case is that there is a disciplinary hearing, but they don't punish you. It might backfire on him too, if any of your neighbors agree that he was being menacing. If that happens, he might be the one to get in trouble. Quite serious trouble, too."
My mom gets up and sits in the chair next to me. She puts her hand on my shoulder. "We've talked about the practical part, but let's put that part aside for now…how are you feeling, sweetie?"
"I mean it hurts, probably one of my most painful dislocation in a while. I guess it makes sense because of how it happened. I'm mad I won't be able to play the piano because of it."
"No, I mean, emotionally."
I look down, "Oh. Not great. I feel…used. I liked him. I really wanted him to like me. I…let him come into my room and was alone with him the night before he did this." I start to tear up, "And I just…I shouldn't have done that, you know? Why would I like a guy like that?"
"It-it's okay that you liked him. You don't n-now that you know everything, right?"
I nod.
"Akari's right, dear. No need to feel bad for how you felt. This is hard enough without that, isn't it?"
I nod.
"I also wanted my f-first kiss to be with someone special to me, who cared about me. I am reallydisappointed that it wasn't. I know it isn't my fault, Akari helped me see that…but I'm still a little disappointed in myself. Disappointed I didn't just pull away when he tried to kiss me. Disappointed I didn't stop it sooner."
My mom hugs me. She's standing and I'm sitting, and she holds my head to her chest. "Well, I'm not disappointed in you, sweetie. I don't think you should be disappointed in yourself either. I think you did the right thing. Well…" she laughs softly, "...up until you punched him."
I say softly, "I'll try not to be disappointed with myself, I guess." I sigh. "I have to go to class with him on Monday. He sits right next to me."
I feel my mom shaking while she hugs me. At first, I think maybe she's crying, but then I suspect the anger that has boiled to the surface a few times in this conversation must have done it again. When she speaks my intuition proves correct, as her voice is absolutely seething.
"Yes, we'll just see about that. I may not be able to completely protect you from getting in trouble. But I can tell you with 100% certainty he will not be sitting anywhere near you in any class ever again. Also, if he has the guts to show up for track practice after this, I'll be running him so much he won't have the energy to do this to anyone else. My guess is he'll quit."
I start really crying into my mom's chest. Akari puts her hand on my back and rubs me gently. Some of my tears are still a result of feeling hurt and embarrassed, and disappointed in myself, but they are also tears of relief, and tears about how much I love my mom.
"Th-thank you. You're an amazing mom, you know that?"
She laughs, "Yep, I do."
"S-seriously though, Mrs…Emi, y-you're great."
I nod, currently incapable of forming words myself.
My mom smiles, "Thank you Akari. I hope you know that if this happened to you, I'd be doing the same thing."
Now Akari is tearing up too and gets up to hug my mom from behind while she's still hugging me. "Th-thank you…Emi."
"Goodness girls, you're going to make me cry if you keep this…up." By the end of her sentence, all three of us are crying.
—-
On Monday, Hiroshi isn't in class at all. I sort of suspect it means he decided not to come and not that my mother worked that big of a miracle. But I'll take it, either way.
"Where's his room? I'm going to strangle him in his sleep. And then once he's dead. I'm going to do it again, just to be sure." Ai moves her hands in a violent motion as if she's wringing someone's neck while the rest of us laugh at the ridiculous sight.
We're at lunch now, and I just updated Ai and Carsten on what happened. I appreciate the solidarity, even if the levels of violence Ai's calling for are a little scary.
After Ai has completed her theatrics, Carsten says. "Yeah that's…beyond messed up. Even after you updated us the other day, I thought he was a jerk. But this pushes him well beyond jerk status. Showing up like that? Refusing to leave? Talking to Akari like that?" He looks at his girlfriend and says "I might just strangle him a third time." He puts a hand on my shoulder and looks at me seriously. "I'm really sorry about this, Kayoko."
I smile at him, "Thanks, you two."
Ai seems to have calmed down a bit now and says, "Akari, nice move getting involved. Who knows what might've happened with this guy?"
"Y-yeah, th-thanks…that's what I thought."
I put my arm around Akari and pull her close to me. "Yep, she was a really big help through all of it."
I almost tell them about how Akari held me while I cried myself to sleep, but that is probably best to keep between best friends.
"W-well, of course. You a-always help me too."
Carsten says, "Next time you really wanna punch someone though…maybe, don't?"
I sigh, "I've already gotten enough of that from my mom and myself, trust me. I wish I hadn't for so many reasons. It just…happened. But yes, I will try to be more careful next time."
Ai scoffs and says, "Whatever Carsten, sometimes a girl has to punch a guy. He had it coming."
Carsten better watch out. If he ever breaks his heart, I don't know if we'll be able to stop her.
