Always And Forever

Story 11: Our Glade Of Fireflies And Symbolism


They'd traveled a while, hand in hand. They went deep into the forest to the point sunlight was entirely blocked out even though the Daventry summers provided enough glow in the horizon even late afternoon. Graham could admit he was hyped; that anticipation could have lifted his feet off the ground as it combined with his weightless bliss with Vee for company.

Tomorrow was going to be the beginning of the end. Less dramatically: Vee's visit was over, and she'd return to Kolyma until spring. It's not like their courtship left with her, actually, if she had to leave then Graham wanted to present her with one thing. But it needed the proper atmosphere, he'd learned. He was ready to put his knowledge to the test, and hopefully explain his feelings like a normal person.

Tonight, the two huddled close because it might be the last chance. Also, light. Graham picked up the pace seeing what appeared as a cave large enough to walk through.

"It's more like a cave should be there, but it didn't form all the way." Graham explained rapid fire as Vee investigated the outside first. "It's more like a passageway into a fairy glade, if fairies were real. I'm babbling, but- I don't want to spoil what's really ahead! Let's run for it!"

Vee must have been convinced, especially when she dodged his hand this time to take him up on a challenge to run ahead. Graham wasn't far behind, smiling so hard it ached and he loved it like Vee herself. Too soon to bring that up, but if it was on his mind constantly.

They emerged in a glade brighter than past areas. More accurately, Graham tripped on a root and instinctively reached out for Vee's wrist and had them both falling. Some throbbing ankles, elaborate maneuvers including an almost dance where Graham had to bend below her arm and then he was leaning against the outer "cave" wall with her only keeping his weakening knees from collapsing by holding his cheek and getting in a kiss seeing as he'd already shut his eyes in anticipation.

The second kiss was Vee grumbling out loud over not getting it right the first time, and Graham went with it to chase the concept of Heaven.

The third kiss had a logical explanation, uh-

Graham managed to guide her to what should have been the glade's most wonderful feature. A pond shimmering even in the dark, wildflowers tall as the grass long bloomed and framing the waterside. All of that... Was stuff you could see anywhere, but what he really wanted to share with her was the firefly display that never failed to take place since he discovered this place.

But there were no fireflies. There were other insects of the dark on drifting leaves above water, but nothing to give that delusional fairy vibe. Graham felt the crushing disappointment fast, unable to respond to Vee's apparent interest in just this anyhow. She kept the conversation moving even when all he could do was sigh or give basic answers, initiated more romantic gestures which did work as distractions. Eventually, their lantern was nearly out, and Graham sat up and left her arms to walk a small distance away though he could have just pulled out the next round of tinder, because he wanted to mope about wedding ring also safely tucked away.

The night had been so basic. Vee deserved spectacles, amazing once-in-a-lifetime experiences. If they did get married, could he provide those for her?

Three years of marriage, birth, kidnapping and shutting out emotions later... Graham felt like the roles were reversed when he encouraged Vee to go out more and let him watch Rosella and manage the kingdom. Even stranger was that Vee didn't turn things around to take him with her, just went out to handle the citizens problems in person or even have casual outings with people she could become friends with.

Daventry could be reassured a missing heir hadn't crushed the royal family's spirit, except when it did, and at the same time Vee could enjoy herself while Graham... Faded away. The world was in harmony.

Summer came around again, the longer the daylight the longer Vee was away. Graham knew why he was concerned when she stayed out from morning to late night on rest days but didn't want Rosella to see her father as an obnoxiously clingy wreck.

It was the middle of summer at sunset when Graham woke on the castle ground, the weight of sleeping Rosella removed from his chest into Vee's arms as he was surrounded by toys. He thought he was dreaming, until Vee offered a tangible hand.

"I found a lovely place I don't believe anyone else knows, so I want you to be the second." Vee told him with a slight eagerness in her tone, again, dream-like.

She would go on to explain they were going to prove marriage was a dead end if they didn't go on dates once in a while. Stealing kisses in castle corners were absolutely fine, they should keep doing that, but it could greatly benefit their moods to see and share hidden parts of the world.

Honestly, she had him convinced by wanting to spend time with him at all. Guards were signaled for babysitting duty, and they were off.


Graham didn't ask where they were going, just let his and Vee's fingers twist while she took the lead with a lantern. He was barely noticing the steps taken, let alone if the deeper and darker sections of forest where ones he'd visited. Spontaneity was great, but he wished he was prepared; his only words were mumbled replies to her observations or reminiscing because he didn't know if dancing in the forest to only delusional music was an enduring trend.

It was only after they arrived at a cave when Vee revealed the extent of the hype she built for herself. Her warm hand slipped from his because she needed both to cup his cheek, sending his heart quaking as her sly expression bathed in a soft orange glow. She just needed to say the word and he'd-

"I challenge you to a race."

"Oh! I was thinking of the same thing!"

Any other answer would have been wrong; Vee's eyes lit up as she declared the race was on. She wasn't looking to be impressed, praise be, Graham could believe his slowness to realize she wanted to set up a familiar scenario. But it was only after he instinctively limped through the passageway, not cave, while she effortlessly sprinted that it all struck him.

Realization struck him like the lack of air in his lungs sending him on his hands and knees into a patch of grass on the other side. Vee won because obviously but didn't have a chance to bask in victory because she returned to and gingerly lifted him to his feet... Kind of. He fell against her as she guided him inside.

"It was a reasonable challenge remembering where to find this glade, then visiting at the best time. But I remember the night you brought me here; I wanted to regain the feelings we both had then." Vee spoke in barely whispers, helping him shamble across emerald green grass to a specific spot by the shimmering pond. "Life took a turn in only three years, but I've spent every day since wondering how to go back to that innocence for just a moment."

Graham collapsed on a strategically placed blanket mostly because his legs were weak listening to all that. He managed to sit up, words failing him when Vee extinguished the lantern and placed that near a basket. It seemed like the instant they were on the ground, the area glowed with something else.

Tiny yellow orbs, no exaggeration, were everywhere as if on cue. Graham flinched away from longer grass blades around his arms, showing insects crawling along and flashing as if trying to communicate with the rest. The movement sent others above his head scattering, but the returning darkness was easily overpowered by more flying past in seemingly no thought-out direction.

"This is what I wanted to show you back then." Graham breathed, not only from regaining that ability but also losing himself in the same awe at sixteen.

"What if the fireflies here only show themselves to those trustworthy?" Vee thought out loud, making him snap out of it to look at her. She casually reached into the basket for an apple and didn't meet his eyes as she delicately pulled its leaf.

"If the fireflies don't trust easily, but I saw them the first-" Graham stammered by the end, cutting off when understanding crashed through his skull.

It would be so easy to say that night didn't have enough proposal atmosphere because the fireflies' feelings weren't considered, Graham's fault. But what if he thought Vee's effort to gain their trust was inspiring? He preferred that, carefully moving closer as to not spook the landing fireflies.

Vee invited him in to lean on her, snuggle for the short time spent snacking and watching what random flight paths turned into a performance. There was no way that was the intention, but the fireflies traced the sky and pond in dramatic swoops and circles. Sometimes it went all dark, then a random orb glowed from the back of the glade, and it began again. It was rather cool here, but dipping fingers in the pond sent a shiver down Graham's spine exactly a second before Vee finished her fruit and rested her chin on his shoulder.

Graham's eyes struggled not to focus on her entirely, and from the corner of his eye he noticed one firefly that hadn't exhausted its efforts and kept flashing until another joined it.

"All the fireflies here are looking for mates." Graham said the fact confidently, internally cringing in a ball of despair realizing it still sounded quoted from a schoolbook. Just like the practice that night, before her first visit here.

He could feel Vee's head nod, the lack of words flinging his hope of success into the next kingdom over.

Eventually, by the best luck in his life, he had found the words for a proper proposal. But now that he remembered those hyper feelings that night, this weird and exciting emotion called "love" ready to explode in him he did miss that... Not the chest ache and lost appetite, mind you, the feeling of constantly flying.

As if she read this mind, a simple and practical silver hovered in his view. "Just one more time? Make it count?" Vee's impish voice was music to his ears.

They moved around under the yellow glow with nothing but gentle water droplets spraying when leaves landed on the pond. Sitting face to face, Graham reached out to take the offered ring.

Vee dodged his attempt, ring still pinched between her fingers. Graham hesitated to try again, stunned by the intensity of her smug expression... Before it changed to tenderness reserved for only one.

"I believe we're just like these fireflies."

"Because I hate being single, and you don't trust easily?"

Graham wasn't sure why the tender expression turned astonished, but it was back soon when she took one of his hands and squeezed with identifiable meaning.

"Metaphor aside... I expected a proposal that summer. I'm sure you've noticed I had to discover any romantic bone in my body, so I wonder why I wanted that to happen." Vee spoke as if it were a lifetime ago, voice losing volume with each word. "Lately, I've caught myself thinking if you didn't propose then perhaps I should have."

"We could have been happier longer with a marriage jump start." Graham hadn't meant to say it so wistfully. But he committed, rubbing circles on her palm.

"That's true." Vee straightened her back and looked around thoughtfully then, like he was difficult to focus on the longer she spoke. "These years haven't been kind to us, but I'm not unhappy as often as you think. I wish we could have a complete family, but it would have always ended up this way... We can only face each day – I'd like us to keep doing that together."

In the end, it circled back to him. But Vee wasn't going to blame him when she should, so Graham had to scold himself- Well, he would have if Vee hadn't suddenly pulled his hand up and kissed it. Like the person it attached to wasn't a bringer of misfortune.

She stubbornly avoided saying it, but Graham sensed she was referring to him trying to hold emotions at bay. If he didn't feel anything, maybe he could improve himself for others' sake. When he held back, he drifted from her. Neither of them wanted that... The flush beginning to rise on his skin, he noted in the flickering lights, that was happiness among all his normal grieving. He wanted to cling to it.

Instead, he clung to the ring Vee still grasped. He intended to slide it on her finger, but seeing his receptiveness she eagerly shoved it on his. And while Graham didn't much opinion on jewelry, seeing it from this point of view made him think a person must care more for someone more than the symbol if they can stand to wear such an uncreative design in public.

As always, the future was uncertain. But Vee eventually lied down, encouraging him to join her as they watched the lights and listened to all the sounds of nature. There was actual peace in waiting for fireflies to land, which they seemed fond of on Vee's nose for some reason. Graham liked to catch and hold them in his hands because he was looking for symbolism in this insect just trying to exist while unpredictable forces took it off the good – if chaotic – path originally flown.

The fact the ring got stuck on Graham's finger, had to be taken to and eventually broken entirely by Amaya probably meant more than anything.