Chapter 37
The airship needed repairs. Evrae's venom had pooled on the deck in places and large, smoking holes were appearing in the hull. Cid ushered everyone inside to plan their next move.
"This bucket of bolts needs seeing to. We are going back Home," he said in his loud, brash drawl.
"We need to find Yu Yevon," Yuna said. "But I don't know where to look. I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry about Yuna," Lulu said. She placed a gentle hand on the young summoner's shoulder. She felt so protective of the girl. Despite the closeness in their age, she did often feel like a mother figure. Her own mother was just a wisp of memory. She was only five years old when Sin devastated her village and killed her parents. She had no idea how she had survived. She would have been devastated to know how her parents had managed to get her to safety only to rush back out to save others. She didn't remember the cave. She couldn't remember how she cried for hours waiting for her parents to return. She didn't realize that the frightening experience led to her first use of magic.
A large bug type fiend flew at her and out of pure instinct the young Lulu thrust her hands into the air and watched amazed as flames flew from her fingers. She was still in shock as the bug disappeared into pyreflies and had no clue what she had done. She didn't tell anyone for years. Not until she was being formally taught magic by the old mage in Besaid.
"Fire is difficult at first," the old hag croaked. "It needs a lot of anger."
"Or fear," Lulu replied.
"No dear, fear will get you nowhere with magic." Her matter of fact tone suggested that there would be no arguing the point.
"But I was scared and I made flames come from my fingers."
"When was this?"
"When I was in the cave. When Sin was here," Lulu replied, her voice trailing off.
The old woman regarded the young girl shrewdly. She knew that the girl showed promise, but an unintentional, successful spell was remarkable. She knew she had done the right thing taking her in.
"Well, if you've done it before, show me how."
Lulu stood and after a moment she raised her hands, concentrating hard. She thought of flames and remembered her fear. But no matter how hard she tried, nothing came.
"I don't understand."
"I do."
"What's wrong with me?" she asked, her dark hair covering her face. Tears began to fall. "I'm a failure!"
"No lass," the old woman said softly. "The spell you cast in the cave was out of fear for your life. There's no such danger now." She gathered the young mage in her arms. Lulu stiffened at first, not being used to such gentle treatment. But the sense of safety and comfort overtook her and she melted into the embrace. She stayed with the old woman until she passed away twelve years later. By that time, Lulu was an accomplished mage and ready to take on her first pilgrimage. Sadly it wouldn't be her last.
The memories that came back her hurt. She didn't like to think of herself as helpless and losing her parents so young made her feel so helpless. She was grateful to the old woman for all she had taught her, and for making her the woman she was. Strong, confident and able to offer her strength and confidence to another young mage who became a powerful summoner. She now knew how the old woman felt but she took no pleasure from the knowledge.
"How long until the repairs are complete?" Auron asked Cid.
"Can't say for sure. Once we reach Home, we'll have a better idea of what needs to be done. Could be a few days, could be weeks."
"Weeks we don't have."
"I can imagine. But if you're planning on going to Omega Ruins you'll need a fully functioning airship. You can't even get there on foot."
Auron knew that it was true but it still didn't sit well with him. His revenge on Yunalesca was complete but it still wasn't enough. He was still amazed that he hadn't felt the final pull to the Farplane the moment she had been defeated. He had always expected to disappear the moment Yunalesca was vanquished. In the beginning, he was fine with this imagined fate; he was content to rest at that point. Then he met Moira. He began to hope that he was wrong. He indulged himself in the hope that he could follow her back to her world. He even began to plan a future there. A life, an occupation and even children. If the fayth would allow it, he would be more than grateful. Then Moira told him that she was willing to give up her world for him. His joy was complete, but his fears returned. Would he break her heart in the end? Would the fayth, who must have brought them together, tear them apart? How high a price would they require? He sighed.
"We'll get things done as soon as possible," Cid said thinking the sigh was for the delayed timeline.
"I know you will. There are also the repairs to Home itself. I can understand that Home comes first."
"If my people know what's good for them, the repairs to Home will be finished long before we get there." Although the words were spoken harshly, there was true affection in them too.
Auron chuckled. "Good to hear."
Cid's instinct was right. When they landed back at Home, the repairs to the buildings were complete. The Al Bhed welcomed their leader home enthusiastically. A feast was prepared and the celebrations lasted long into the night.
Liquor flowed freely and the entire party retired, knowing sore heads would prevail in the morning. Yuna hadn't drank as much as the others...she'd never developed a taste for it. She waited until Moira came around the corner. Yuna could tell that Moira hadn't drunk all that much either; Auron on the other hand was looking a little numb.
"Did you need something Yuna?"
"I just wanted to talk for a moment."
"Let me deal with this," Moira said referring to Auron. She led him into their room and deposited him in bed. "I'll be right back," she whispered. There was no need – Auron was asleep before his head hit the pillow. She paused for a moment to gaze at him, prone and sleeping soundly but not peacefully. His brow was furrowed and she wondered what it could be about. She could never have guessed in two lifetimes.
Auron dreamt.
He was standing alone on the edge of cliff. The wind was howling around him and beneath it he could hear singing. Barely perceptible but he was entranced. He longed to hear more but the song was coming up to him from the bottom of the chasm before him. He leaned forward slightly. Just as he did, the wind gusted up directly behind him and he came close to losing his balance. He quickly righted himself, falling to one knee as he did. In this lower position, he could hear the siren song better. It was Moira's voice.
"Choose" a silvery voice said.
"Choose?". he asked. "What am I choosing?"
"Life or death."
"Life or death? But I'm already dead." It would never seem normal to him to say that despite being unsent for over ten years.
"No. Not your life. Not your death.": The disembodied voice was unsettling in its emotionless tone.
"But then who is it you are talking about?"
"Hers." One word that shattered his hopes and dreams. He had imagined that they may be forced apart – he being pulled into the Farplane and she sent back to wherever she had come from. He had practiced steeling himself against the pain of separation but had utterly failed. Despite living all his years in solitude, she had made him rely on her so much that life made no sense without her.
He had never once considered that the Fayth would demand her sacrifice.
"It is the fate of all summoners to offer up their lives"
"But Yuna will bring eternal calm. There will be no need for summoners. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO DIE!" Auron screamed. He felt unhinged. "She didn't ask to be a summoner! "
"She could have refused. But she was seduced by power as all weak people are in the end."
Auron was physically shaken. All his fears were brought forward and violently came to light. He would lose her, he would be forced to leave her. He could see the face he had grown to love completely fall as she watched him fade into a cloud of pyreflies. It brought back that day of the summoner battle at Requiem Temple.
Part of him smiled at the memory of Moira terrified to cross the bridge without holding his hand. He had fought so hard against his feelings for her. The need to protect her, the desire to cherish her. He felt his insides lurch, not at all unpleasantly, at the memory of their first kiss. She had run screaming from the temple at the sight of the defeated summoner being sent. He did not know it at the time but it was because she had seen a vision of the same fate for Auron. She already had such strong feelings for him but was so conflicted. Her past held her back and she had allowed fear to rule her. He sighed as he remembered how she trembled when he held her. She had gasped when he oh so gently touched his lips to hers. He remembered the inner struggle that raged within him. The conflicting desires to cherish her and ravish her. Now all these months later, he had done both.
The song grew louder as he reminisced and he was brought back to the reality of the mysterious voice and its question. But instead of answering it, he asked one of his own.
"If I choose her life, what then? Will we be able to be together?"
"You already know the answer to that. You just won't face it."
"How can I when that path leads to pain and devastation for her?"
"You don't consider your own pain?" the voice questioned.
"No. She is everything. So long as she is happy then I am satisfied no matter what happens." Auron could only hope that the Fayth believed him. He hardly believed himself.
"You know what will happen though. You cannot be together. We won't allow it."
We will find a way. Auron was resolute. He had long given up on feeling that there was no answer for them. He and Moira shared a love for the ages.
Nothing can change this. She is destined to leave. You are destined to die.
IM ALREADY DEAD! Auron shouted. DEAD! Came the echo from the chasm. He couldn't hear the soft lilting song anymore.
The end is coming. There is nothing you can do to stop it. The Fayth have spoken. Saying this, the Fayth that spoke made himself visible. The small sprite floated just ahead of Auron, a self satisfied smirk on its face. Auron drew his sword and swung it with more violent intent then h had ever felt before. The shocked look of the Fayth was the last thing he saw as the momentum of his swing launched him over the edge of the cliff. He woke just as he hit the ground. He could still hear the silvery laughter as he opened his eyes. He searched for Moira but she wasn't there.
She went back out into the hall.
"What did you want to talk about Yuna?"
"Is it true you are staying in Spira?"
"Yes. It seems it's the only way to stay together."
Yuna smiled. "You really do love him don't you?"
Moira nodded in reply. "What's more important to me is that he loves me. No one has ever felt that way about me."
"I don't believe in true love," Yuna stated.
"What about Tidus? Don't you love him?"
"Oh yes," Yuna said smiling. "It's just that I don't believe two people are destined for each other."
Moira was a little taken aback by this frank mature attitude. She had always cast Yuna as the dreamer in their group. If there was anyone who she thought would be all over something like true love, it was Yuna. She wondered if this was an act, but couldn't understand why.
"What will you do once we defeat Sin and Yu Yevon?"
"I'm not sure. I started this journey content in the knowledge that I would not survive. There never was a plan for after the pilgrimage. Tidus and I talked everything over. He said he understood my position and would stay with me until the end. Perhaps he will be able to go back to his Zanarkand."
"If that's possible, why don't you try to go with him? It's no longer a fact that you won't survive the final battle. Don't you want to stay with him?"
"I can only wait to see how things turn out I guess. I do love him but I won't stand in his way if he wants to go home," Yuna smiled sadly.
Moira smiled back. She could understand how torn the young summoner was. It wasn't that long ago that she faced the same type of decision.
"Zanarkand sounds wonderful," was all she replied. "Goodnight Yuna."
Gentle snoring met her as she walked into the room. Auron lay sprawled on the bed, red coat askew and hair mussed up. Moira stared, her heart swelling at the sight. What she said to Yuna was true; no one had ever loved her before. She had never kept a relationship long enough to wonder if love played a part. She met Auron with a closed heart and a mind bent against love. She had fought what was right in front of her for as long as possible. She shuddered as she remembered how Auron's stares would undo her. She thrilled at the memory of their first kiss. She was satisfied with the arrangement they had made. She would be happy to stay in Spira, even if she was forced to stay there with only his memory.
She not so gently pushed the sleeping swordsman aside and laid down to sleep.
