Chapter 38

It took three days to repair the ship. During that time, Tidus, Auron and Wakka worked with Cid to make repairs. Rikku worked with her fellow Al Bhed and developed new weapons to guard against another attack. Even though Seymour was finally gone, another attack was always possible. After all, Al Bheds were involved in the murder of a maester.

Lulu and Yuna continued Moira's magic lessons. There wasn't much more that Lulu could teach her – she had mastered Ultima after all. But Yuna wanted to develop Moira's white magic skills a bit more. Up until that point, she had mostly focused on black magic.

"The Nul spells are quite useful," Yuna explained.

"To protect against elemental spells?"

"Yes."

Yuna explained how to cast the spell and Moira, as usual was a quick study.

"I think I'm ready to try them out," Moira said.

"You're confident aren't you?" Lulu said.

"I have good teachers," Moira said smiling.

"It's exam time then. Cast your spells on yourself and let's see how strong they are." Moira closed her eyes and concentrated on the new spells. She tried to cast all four at once but only succeeded in shocking, burning, soaking and freezing herself.

"Gah!"

"You tried for too much at once. Cast one Nul spell at a time and it might work better," Lulu advised.

"Ok. Don't need to go through that again, that's for sure." She rubbed her sore, wet hands together and tried again.

"NulBlaze." A barrier built up around her, she had done it! She quickly took advantage of her good luck and cast the other three spells.

"NulShock, NulTide, NulFrost." Three more comforting barriers surrounded her. "Am I seeing things or do you see coloured lights floating around me?"

Yuna laughed. "Yes we can see them. They represent each spell and the depth of the colour shows you how strong the protection is. Now, let's see how strong you are."

Yuna jumped aside as Lulu directed a strong fire spell at Moira. Instinctively, she ducked but the magic found its target. Instead of feeling the flames burn right through her, Moira only saw them. Stunned, she watched as the fire went right around her, scorching the floor space beside her and leaving her unharmed.

"That's amazing! And my red ball is still there, a little dimmer but still there."

"Remember in battle to keep a good eye on the strength of your protection spells," Lulu said.

"Maybe you should try to cast a protection spell on me," Yuna said. Moira nodded and to her surprise she was able to send her protective magic over to the summoner. "In battle this will be crucial."

"Are there other spells I can learn?"

"Yes, there are many. We can teach you spells to protect from physical attacks, time magic, spells to reflect magical attacks and even spells that can remove a protective spell from an enemy. There is still a lot for you to learn," Lulu replied.

"Show me all you can," Moira said.

"I still can't believe there is no magic where you come from," Yuna said. "I can't imagine life without it."

"Well there may be no magic, but there are also no fiends. I could walk down the street safe in the knowledge that no three headed beast would attack me," Moira explained. "But believe me, I can't imagine life without magic now either."

The three mages, one white, one black and one increasingly grey spent the rest of that day going over several spells. It was only when Lulu explained and demonstrated a Stop spell that a shadow passed over Moira. She had been under this spell before. Lulu had cast it to prevent her from harming herself after she was freed from Seymour. The memories of the kidnapping, attacks, rapes and other dark things came rushing back to her.

"Don't be afraid," Lulu said, quickly releasing her from the spell. "I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"It-it's fine," Moira stammered. "I just need a moment."

She walked away leaving the other two to worry about her. Moira went into her room and shut the door. She collapsed and began to cry. Then she got angry at herself. She admonished herself for being so weak. Angry, fat tears streamed down her face and she did nothing to stop them. She just lost herself in the feeling and sobbed uncontrollably.

This was what Auron saw when he entered the room. He rushed to her side.

"Moira! What's wrong?"

She couldn't reply as she was now hyperventilating.

"Please! Let me help you," Auron said, a note of despair in his voice.

"I-I-I'll be fine," she sobbed. "The spell brought it back, she froze me and I couldn't stop the memories."

"What spell? Who? Moira, who did this to you?!"

"Lulu," was all she could say. Before she could stop him, Auron rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Moira, realizing what he was about to do, ran after him. She caught up with him in the hall and with a surprising burst of strength shoved him up against the wall and leaned on him with all her might. There was murder gleaming in his eye.

"Auron! Stop this at once! What do you think you're doing?" She was close to screaming now, her tears now falling from anger.

"I'm going to deal with that harlot!" Auron said. Moira was clearly shocked.

"Harlot? Who? Lulu? Why would you call her that?"

Auron blinked, coming back to his senses. He had almost revealed the encounter he had with the mage on the Thunder Plains before Moira came to Spira. Irrational guilt washed over him and he lamely tried to hide it.

"I didn't mean harlot. I don't know what I meant. You said someone had hurt you and I couldn't bear to think that I had failed you again."

Moira was shocked at his candor. She was going to get to the bottom of the harlot reference but let it pass for the moment. She knew a fight within the group would be the end of things. She needed to stop that at all costs.

"You haven't failed me. There are many who would have walked away from the basket case I became," she said, fresh tears falling. "Please Auron, please don't talk that way."

"Are you alright?"

"I will be. Just please understand. What happened to me is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. But I do not blame you and you need to stop blaming yourself. Please Auron," Moira placed her hands on his shoulders and met his eye. She saw the pain there and in an attempt to set him at his ease, she placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

He sighed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head against his chest, still feeling the emotions brought forward by the stop spell. She needed to feel safe again.

"Make me forget."

He didn't speak, just took her hands in his, gently kissed them and led her to their bed.

Moira was still amazed at the passion that Auron showed for her. In her past life, no man had ever come back a second time. Her encounters were short, fleeting and ultimately disappointing. She never understood why but kept it as her personal shame.

Every morning she woke with him by her side she couldn't believe it and a bitter part of her was still waiting for him to walk away from her. Some days she had to prevent herself from asking him why; why he chose her, why did he stay. But the answers that might come from him terrified her. She honestly did not believe she could stand another