54
Diana and Fred were in the spare room. Davy, Milly and the smallest of their brood were up in the boy's attic. Jem and Shirley were bunking up in the corner bedroom that used to be Walter's, and the twins were topping and tailing in Rilla's plush bed. The Wright children were in the twin's room, and the bigger Keith offspring had been farmed out to the Merediths - along with Fred Jr's sweetheart. She had been waiting for him to pop the question since 1913, and little Jack had beaten him to it!
Una was sleeping on the chaise in the Manse's parlour. No, she didn't mind at all, she said. It was time she got used to sleeping in strange confines, and besides she liked being close to the piano. The performance was tomorrow. Not that anyone would be looking at her - or only slightly looking - but she did want to do her best.
Teddy strolled back to the cottage around ten, full of brio. He and Shirley Blythe had got on like a house on fire. Luxury goods, that's where the market was heading. Folks were over the constant economising, they wanted to bring back elegance and style. As a pilot, Shirley had seen firsthand how they had glamorised his profession when really he was little more than a machine gun with wings. If a stolid ol' fellow like him could be transformed into a debonair flying ace, Shirley said, then anything was possible, and he planned to get a piece of it.
It was the first time Teddy had returned from Ingleside without thinking of Rilla once, and then surprise, surprise, there she was at the cottage waiting for him.
"I thought you went to bed hours ago."
"There wasn't one," said Rilla, she rose from the rocking chair on the small, covered porch and glided down the red-stone steps, "so I came here and waited for you."
Oh, she had this all planned out, she was a planner after all. And it looked like those plans were coming to fruition. Yesterday she had received a definite promise that Teddy's mother would be at the concert tomorrow. And then Rilla Blythe would not have to wait for the day that Teddy would inevitably leave, she could tick that off her list. The endless one that spinsters filled their days with.
Rilla meant to give herself to Teddy as a sort of going away present. She took those last two steps toward him and untied the bow at her throat.
"What are you…" Teddy began, but he didn't finish, because of course he knew what Rilla was doing.
If anyone knew how these things were begun, it was him. He suspected this might be the end of things too. Girls like Rilla were all for the grand gesture, but if this was what she wanted then who was he to say no?
That being so the boy was hardly going to back away - Captain Ken, who was he? Nor was he going to remind Rilla of her honour. Those sorts of gents only existed in the books Connie read. And no one was going to write about this encounter - which was probably just as well.
They might have written about the first part, the bit where Teddy watched Rilla walk towards him while she slowly released the buttons of her blouse. How the moonlight lit upon her heaving bosom, how her creamy skin was pricked with gooseflesh and the column of her neck pulsed as she swallowed. How he bundled her into his muscular arms and carried her effortlessly into the cottage and laid her on the sofa. Oh, those kisses, deep. Her body, soft. His body, hard. How the shadows of those lombardies clothed her in a shivering cloak as he continued to undress her. The deep breath she took as she wriggled out of her drawers with a delicious lift of her hips. The nervous smile on her face and tormented look on his. The charming moment after that, when he tripped on his pant legs as he struggled to remove his trousers. Teddy had feet like shoe horns, long and very narrow.
There she was, her eyes bright with longing. There he went - far too soon. And there they lay on the faded sofa: Rilla wondering why he hadn't removed his drawers yet, and Teddy floundering in a state of ecstasy and embarrassment.
"Teddy?"
Rilla had given him what she considered a good long moment, having experienced such an unaccountable pause in proceedings before. It felt like ten minutes but was probably ten seconds. She said his name again.
He was stiff in her arms, his head lowered in the direction of the traitorous and presently ineffective organ throbbing in his sticky drawers.
"I'll be alright in a minute," he murmured into his chest.
"Weren't you alright before?"
His head was now up, and his arms bulged as he bore his own weight. Rilla shifted back against the arm of the sofa.
"I uh… jumped the gate, if you get my meaning."
"I'm sorry, but I don't." Rilla was trying to sound calm but the alarm in her voice was noticeable. "Are you unhappy with me, Teddy, have you changed your mind, have I… have I disappointed you?"
"Wha- no." The ecstasy was subsiding, and Teddy kicked away the embarrassment as far away as it could go. No doubt it would come crawling back later, but Rilla's growing distress was the most pressing matter. He could rightly guess what her shamed expression alluded to.
"There's nothing wrong with you - or me. I've been thinking about this for so long I guess my thoughts got ahead of me and rushed me to the finish line."
"Was - was that it?"
"Not even slightly."
"Then what? Teddy, I don't understand."
So, Teddy tried to make Rilla understand in as gentlemanly a manner as possible - which wasn't possible at all, but he also knew it had to be said.
"Thank you," she said. She was nestled against the scar at his shoulder, his big arm dangling by her neck. He had found an old quilt from somewhere and had tucked it around them both. They sat close together on the sofa before the empty fireplace, the wind coming out of the chimney in a long, low note. "Thank you for not keeping that to yourself, thank you for trusting me to understand -"
"Thank you for not laughing," he cut in.
"I wouldn't laugh," she peered up from under her tousled updo, and gave him a very serious stare. "You're my best friend, Teddy. My best boy friend, I mean."
"And you're my best girl… whoa, whoa, that wasn't supposed to make you cry."
He fumbled about for a handkerchief before remembering that he was only wearing his drawers. Why the hell was Rilla crying all of a sudden? She knew how he felt about her - and if she hadn't before she could be in no doubt now.
The tears that sprang from Rilla's eyes had been just as surprising to her. "Oh drat, I don't know whath wrong with me all of a thudden."
"I reckon you're tired," said Teddy. He held out his wristwatch to the moonbeam making a square of white light on the floorboards. "Oh, my word, it's nearly twelve."
He got to his feet and rooted around for his clothes. "Do you need to cry a bit more, or can I get you home?"
His question made her want to laugh, she nearly did when he got into a wrestling match with his suspenders. He truly was the sweetest boy in the world.
"Of course, I'd rather show you what I can do," he went on, he was currently trying and failing to knot his tie, "but we just don't have that kind of time."
"How much time are we talking?" Rilla asked, as he helped her fasten her corset, and then tucked her into her blouse.
"Well…" Teddy paused long enough to allow for a boastful grin. "How does forever sound?"
"But we don't have forever -"
There would only be tonight. And then he would be gone, and she would wave him off bravely. She had had a lot of practice at that.
"Little you know," said Teddy, oblivious. The embarrassment was catching up with him again, and the tender talk of before was being overtaken by manful pride. It had nothing to do with the fact that he found dressing Rilla as arousing as undressing her when he said, "I wish I could give you what you wanted."
"I wanted it to be you because I knew you would make it nice. Why do you do that, Teddy, why do you always make it nice for everybody?"
"I dunno, it's easy, I s'pose." He should have said easier, because that's what it really was.
Rilla finished tying her boot - when had she ever removed them? - and wedged herself in the sofa corner. She rested her face on her hand, her curled fist squashing her cheek. "I wish I could be free and easy like you are, Teddy. You never get embarrassed or ashamed of yourself."
"Ah, I don't see the use in all that stuff," said Teddy. He sat on the sofa arm, his right knee bouncing. "I got another chance at life because of your brother, it seems pointless to waste that life on something no one is gonna remember tomorrow."
"People will remember what you do."
"Nah, they won't. It's people like you who do the big things, and people like me who help you get them done. I know that's not what a girl wants to hear. She wants to know a man's got these big plans for himself. Some folks want small things, Rilla. Things that most people have already got. I reckon it's better to want nothing, myself -"
"But you wanted me."
"Never thought I'd get you, though!" The bouncing knee stilled, and he gave a short laugh. "Most beautiful girl I've ever seen, my Captain's girl, Walter Blythe's beloved sister. You're so out of my reach I might as well love a star."
There, he had given her the biggest, best compliment he had ever come up with, though he usually thought of those before not after.
"Don't," Rilla's eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "Don't put me on a pedestal. I'll only let you down."
Teddy had no doubt about that. There was no forever in their future. But now was pretty good at least.
"But what about Jims, Rilla, how many other girls would have done what you did?"
That little compliment fell flat. Rilla made an infuriated grimace, an animal sound came out of her throat. The lovely, lonely star that she was wanted nothing more than to get down in the dirt for once. She wasn't some perfect, untouchable angel - she wasn't!
"Oooh, how you men make so much of so little." You should have seen poor Teddy's face when she said that. "I'm nothing special," she went on. "I didn't want to raise Jims, and I'm sorry if Ken gave you that idea. I was rotten at motherhood if you want to know the truth of it. Put that on your pedestal."
"But," Teddy frowned, "I saw you together. You love that little lad, I know."
"Well, I didn't love him in the beginning." The grimace softened, and when she leaned her head back her face disappeared into the shadows. "I guess," she said, "it sort of grew..."
"Like a seed or something," Teddy said finishing Jem's quote - or was it Walter's? His voice was thick in his throat.
"Jims didn't blow away with the wind, Teddy, his father came back for him. It was right that I let him go. It was right for Walter to go. That doesn't stop me wishing I could have them back or noticing the holes they left or wondering what on earth I'm supposed to do to fill them."
"Does it hurt you... to see Jims now?" Teddy said.
"If it did, he'd never know it."
"And he never calls you Mama?"
"Not once. He's always called me Rilla."
Teddy thought about that for a moment. "I never got to call Connie Mama. I kinda wish she'd stuck around so that I could. But you know, she paid for things I needed, which is probably just as good."
Rilla left her corner and sat close to Teddy; her pale oval face tilted up at him.
"Oh, I'm sure your mother would love to see you again. You're her son, of course she would -"
Teddy cocked a brow at her. "Not everyone has a family like yours."
"It's funny the way you fit in so well." Rilla grinned.
"No," he looked away and wiped his nose, "I don't. I saw your mother's face when I cussed in your kitchen. I've seen your father's face when he smells my smoke. And - and -" his eyes began darting around the room the way they always did when he wanted to change the subject. "I know Jem's gonna skin me alive if I don't get you home."
Teddy pulled her to her feet. "Now, c'mon, honey. Get on!"
He crouched down and signalled for Rilla to mount his back.
"You're not going to piggyback me all the way home, are you? Teddy, you're crazy."
"I've carried grown men twice as far for twice as long before. Also, my bicycle has a flat."
Carry her home, he did, all the way to the Ingleside front door.
"Goodnight, sweet Rilla, I'll see you at the concert tonight. You won't miss me, I'll be the pill at the front of the hall messing up every note because I am so in love with you."
He set her down on the veranda step and doffed his cap, then jogged back down the drive.
"You're not the only one making messes, Teddy Willoughby," Rilla murmured. "I don't want to let you go."
...
More tomorrow, love k.
