AN: Thank you for your patience! Summer on the farm is as busy as always, and I haven't had the time or energy to write as much. But as always, the story ends up pulling me back in. So here is a short update! Things for Bella are about to get rocky...

Oh! And in response to a question in one of the last reviews, no, sorry, this story will not be a Bella/Carlisle endgame kind of thing. To be honest, I haven't decide when/if this will be an Edward/Bella HEA. But as far as Carlisle is concerned, he will remain a father-figure to Bella! (Sorry if that is a spoiler of some sort but I just wanted to be clear on the matter).

Carlisle's POV

The click of the bathroom door unlocking forced us to recover our more neutral expressions. Bella shuffled back down the hallway to join us.

Esme turned towards her, eager to help. "Would you like something to eat? Some tea?"

Bella winced, "No thanks, I'm not very hungry."

"Are you sure? Perhaps just some water, then?" She asked.

Swallowing, and perhaps realizing she was indeed thirsty, Bella nodded. "Thank you, Esme."

Turning to Bella, I said, "I imagine you'd like to get some rest, but if it's alright with you, we have a few things to decide together first."

"Uh, yeah. Sure," she agreed. Esme showed her into the living room, making sure she was settled comfortably on the sofa, before stepping into the other room.

Bella sat watching me expectantly, fidgeting in her uneasiness. Esme returned and sat down at her side, placing the glass of water on the table in front of them. She reached over and held one of Bella's hands in her own, stilling the nervous movements.

"Back at the park I told you that I would not ask the hard questions. And I intend to keep that promise. But, as you've probably realized, your body is starting to feel the effects of withdrawal. And you told me that you'd like to stop using. So I'm afraid I need to understand a few of the basics in order to best help you." I paused to gauge her reaction. I didn't like how clinical my words sounded, but there was no way around it.

She tilted her head slightly, her expression cautious, "Okay…"

"The first question I must ask is whether you wish to stay here with us, and allow me to help you through that process. Or if you prefer that I arrange a different treatment situation for you, whether inpatient or outpatient."

Her gaze drifted away as she avoided looking at both Esme and I, which led me to believe that maybe she didn't want to stay. I couldn't ignore the disappointment I felt. But instead of answering, she asked her own question.

"How does it work? Do I just stop cold turkey?" Pulling her hand from Esme's grasp, she dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her face. "I'm so sick of this. I just want it all to stop. I want to wake up and have it all been a dream." Esme frowned.

"It depends on the situation. If…well, if this has been going on for a long time then stopping cold turkey can be dangerous. In such a case, it is best to taper off over time. Or replace the drug with a longer-acting medication."

Bella's eyes widened and her heartbeat increased slightly. She immediately tried to hide her trepidation behind a weak scowl, "So I have to keep taking things? Isn't that going to make it harder to stop?"

"I know it seems contradictory. But for both your physical and mental health it is usually best to progressively wean off the addictive substance," I explained.

"No." Her voice was resolute. "I want a clean break."

"But Bella-"

She looked me in the eyes and then directed her attention to Esme. Whatever she saw in Esme's face caused her expression to soften as she turned back towards me. "Please, Carlisle. I don't know how to explain it. But I feel so…contaminated. The person I have been these past two years…I just, I hate myself for it. And being here with you, I don't want that version of me to tarnish this chance to start over. It feels like two different worlds, and I don't want that world to even exist in this one. I'm sorry, I know I'm probably not making any sense."

"Bella?" Esme's voice was hushed, and at the sound of it Bella seemed to calm slightly, "How long has this been going on?"

"How long has what been going on? The pills? Six months or so I guess." Her voice was dejected. Her eyes became unfocused as she appeared to think back on that time. I couldn't help but wonder what she was seeing at that moment. She shivered.

Esme's eyes met mine, "Six months. That's not so terribly long. Is there a chance, Carlisle, that stopping altogether wouldn't be as dangerous as if she had been doing this for longer?"

I couldn't help the sigh that escaped my throat. Bella waited, watching me with what could only be described as cautious optimism. "It's hard to say. I don't want to sugar coat things. An abrupt detoxification can be brutal, Bella. Nausea, vomiting, dehydration, muscle cramps, insomnia, and in extreme cases seizures. These can even happen with a gradual tapering, so stopping cold turkey will likely exacerbate the symptoms. I don't say this to scare you. But if you insist on forgoing a more drawn-out treatment process then I have to make sure you're informed."

"Would you even let me quit cold turkey?" She asked me point blank.

After a heavy pause I conceded. "I strongly advise against it. But I will not ignore your right to make an informed decision. I will not impose my will on you, Bella."

She did not respond right away. A full minute passed before she finally whispered, "I don't want to take anything else. I want that chapter to be closed definitively."

Esme's expression was anxious. I wasn't sure that I was effectively hiding my own anxieties either. "If that is what you want, Bella, we will respect your choice. We will support you either way. Would you like me to look into a program for you? Or would you like to stay here, with Esme and I?" I reframed my original question, hoping to get an answer this time around. For it would determine what happened next.

"No, no program. I don't have the money and I want to remain off the radar." I filed away her comment about remaining anonymous. It was no doubt related to her request for fake identification documents and when the time was right I hoped to learn more about what was causing her to want to disappear. She finally looked up and made eye contact with me, "I want to stay here. If that's ok with you."

Despite the circumstances, I felt myself smile. Esme did the same as she spoke reassuringly, "It's more than okay, Bella. It's what we hoped you would say."

The corner of Bella's mouth twitched as though she wanted to smile, but her eyes remained anxious. Perhaps even mistrustful. "And you'll be here the whole time, Carlisle? You know, in case anything bad starts to happen?" An image of Bella seizing crossed my mind. I winced internally but kept my features composed. "Of course, Bella. I promise to see you through this."

Bella's POV

When Carlisle had begun to explain the process of slowly weaning off the drugs, I had instantly begun to panic. An image that had been burned into my head earlier that day played back over and over in my thoughts. Will, towering over me, my head still throbbing from where he had clenched so tightly at the fistful of my hair, his eyes a dangerous mix of fury and unpredictability. And then just a few feet away, Carlisle. Safety. His posture had been unassertive, but his coal-black eyes had served as looking glasses into the fury that thrummed through him. Even Will, who knew nothing of what Carlisle was capable of, had been able to sense that Carlisle could be a threat. But where Will's rage could be unfettered, I knew Carlisle maintained complete control over himself. The glaring difference between the two of them had shook me out of my stupor. The confusion and misgivings I had felt since finding Carlisle at my hospital bedside suddenly fell away. He was my chance at safety. And Will represented everything I knew I had to leave behind. The thought of continuing to take these drugs, even smaller, more measured doses, while living back in Carlisle and Esme's world, was humiliating. The idea of popping a pill while Esme was humming downstairs felt outrageous. No, I needed this to be a clean break.

But now, three days in, I was beginning to wonder if I had made the right choice.

I had been given one of the spare rooms. A clean, spacious room at the end of the second floor hallway. I had my own ensuite bathroom and a wall of windows facing the forest. As soon as Esme had finished showing me around and closed the door behind her, I had stepped into the shower; suddenly in a rush to rinse all the filth, literal and figurative, off my body. It was as I was slipping the towel around myself that the first wave of nausea caused me to drop to my knees in front of the toilet. I had not eaten since the previous day but that didn't stop my stomach from scrounging up every last bit of its contents and tossing it up and out.

Three sleepless nights later, and I was pretty sure I spent more of my time on the bathroom floor than anywhere else.

Every once in a while, when the muscles in my abdomen appeared to relax, I would drag myself back to bed. Or Esme or Carlisle would come and slip an arm behind my back, supporting most of my weight on the short walk from the cool tiles to the warm duvet. On those occasions they would urge me to drink some water. Or take a bite of toast. Or yogurt. Or applesauce. But any semblance of an appetite had disappeared; and the thought of swallowing even a small spoonful of soup was revolting. Instead, fearing the disappointment I'd see in their eyes, I would turn away and bury myself beneath the comforter.

Back under the covers, I silently begged for sleep. But instead my mind would begin to race. Memories from the last two years would replay over and over. Each snapshot either filled me with terror or flooded me with shame. The anxiety of it all made my heart race, the sound of it echoing painfully in my ears. And then, just when I would start to succumb to unconsciousness, a telltale clenching would tighten my entire abdomen, and I would go stumbling back to the bathroom.

It was an exhausting cycle. And it had only just begun.