A/N
Sorry, I know it's been a minute.
Sorry again because I know this chapter is painfully short. Hopefully, the snuggles between E&B make up for it.
Unbeta-d. Ignore all the glaring mistakes.
S. Meyer owns all things, Twilight.
Chapter 15
EPOV
I can say with almost complete confidence that not much surprises me anymore. But Bella Swan reaching up and kissing the crap out of me is something I never saw coming. Not that I'm complaining, but I just never thought that was in the cards for me. After all the mistakes I made, I knew it was highly improbable, if not impossible.
But here we are. I'm holding her against my body like I've dreamed about for so long. I'm caressing the lips I've wanted to kiss since I first watched her order hot chocolate—in July. My mouth slants across hers greedily as I lift her from the floor, and she raises her arms and winds them tightly around my neck. I love the way her slight weight rests against my body— comfortably, without hesitation—trusting.
She sighs into my mouth as my hands grip her waist before she lets out a soft moan. I rip my lips away begrudgingly, knowing we need to breathe, and she tugs at my hair, growling like a pissed-off kitten. My lips blaze a trail of kisses along her jawline until they reach her earlobe, where I suck gently. Her fingers grip my hair, and I let my hands run up and down her back.
"Edward."
The want and longing I hear in her voice are like music to my ears, and I crush her closer, bringing my lips back to hers so I can taste her again. I place her back on the floor and lean into her possessively as my hands brush against her bare skin above her jeans.
"Fuck. Bella. You feel …"
I'm so lost in her soft curves and the silky feel of the sliver of naked flesh under my roaming fingers that I barely notice when something tugs on my leg. It's just a slight pressure at first, but when it becomes too insistent to ignore, I break away from Bella's lips and look down at Oscar. He shakes his head back and forth while holding my pant leg in his mouth. His teeth are clamped around the fabric of my trousers as he pulls in short staccato bursts. He tries to brace himself on the floor with his back legs, but it's a losing battle as they just slide forward when I don't budge. I look up at Bella. Her eyes are glazed and confused as she stares at my lips. Then she blinks once and looks down.
"Wha— Os, what in the world?"
At the sound of her voice, Oscar releases my pants and sprints over to his box of toys, where he pulls out a purple octopus before spinning around to face us. Three of the eight tentacles dangle from his mouth as he practically leaps toward us before spitting it out at my feet and looking up at me expectantly. Bella tries to step back, but I wrap my arms tightly around her waist and pull her to me while shaking my head.
"Where do you think you're going?"
She looks up at me with wide eyes.
"I—Edward—shit, I don't know why I did tha—"
I lean down and place a gentle kiss on her lips before running my tongue over them lightly and cupping her face with my hand.
"Did you want to kiss me?"
She looks up before relaxing into my arms. "Yes."
I smile, loving her breathy whisper.
"Good."
She pitches forward with a groan and closes her eyes before leaning her head against my chest.
"You probably think I'm the most fucked-up, wishy-washy, mixed-signal-giver that ever made you come up to her apartment and check for creeps under the bed that ever lived, don't you?"
I try not to laugh but fail miserably. "What the hell are you talking about, woman?"
She tilts her head back, keeping her eyes closed and scrunching up her face.
"You're weird, Swan. You know that, right?"
She nods. "I do. The fact that you're just realizing this now scares me."
I laugh again. "Why?"
Her small fingers grip the folds of my shirt before she opens her eyes slowly.
"Because," she whispers. "I'm afraid I'm going to lose you."
I look at her incredulously. "Bella. Wha—"
She shakes her head, and when her hands grip me tighter, I pull her close to give her whatever sense of security I can.
"Bella, I'm not going anywhere."
Tears pool in her eyes.
"I was such a fool, Edward." She looks up at me before letting out a ragged sigh. "I wanted you all along."
I lean my forehead against hers. "At the coffee shop?"
She nods. "Yes."
"At the dinner, Volturi threw?"
She looks down. "Yes."
"At the bar tonight?"
She smacks my shoulder. "You don't have to be such a jerk about—"
My head swoops down, and I capture her lips with mine. She sinks into me and kisses me back with so much passion that I might have to throw her down in front of God, Oscar, and the frighteningly purple octopus to make love to her. But I don't. For now, I just want to savor this moment—this utterly unexpected, fantastic moment where Bella Swan tells me she wants me. I don't understand it, and I know I don't deserve it, but I'm sure as hell going to savor it.
~!~
I run my fingers absently through Bella's hair as she rests her head against my chest while we lay on the couch. Her soft even breaths are punctuated every so often with light snores. I turn my head carefully so I don't disturb her and look at the clock on the stove —2 A.M.
I know I should leave, but I don't want to. After our kiss in the kitchen, I threw the octopus for Oscar a few times until Bella, in another move from out of nowhere, ran towards me like something out of The Notebook or Dirty Dancing. Her eyes were filled with lust as she charged me and then wrapped herself around my torso, covering my face with kisses. Needless to say, Oscar and his octopus were forgotten as we moved to the couch, where we made out like teenagers.
And now, looking at her swollen lips and the subtle smile that graces them—even in her sleep, a sense of joy fills my soul. It's pure, true, and the most real thing I've felt in a long time—aside from how I feel about the boys, of course. What I feel for Bella is so overwhelmingly powerful that it scares me. Not in the way I was afraid with Kate, though. No, with Kate, it was an underlying feeling that we just weren't right. We didn't fit together, and we both knew it. With Bella, the fear is much more visceral. I know she's perfect for me. And that scares the ever-loving shit out of me. She owns me. Completely. And I'm so afraid I'm not good enough for her. What's going to happen when she realizes that?
She stirs against me and stretches. Her soft limbs entwine with mine, and she raises her hands to my hair.
"Edward," she breathes.
I bring my arms around her, gently stroking her back before her eyes flutter open, and she looks up at me like the angel she is.
Her smile is shy. "Hi."
I grin down at her. "Hi, back."
She twists around to look over the back of the couch before settling on top of me again.
"It's late," she says.
"Mmmm hmmm."
"Do you need to go?"
I pull her up my body and settle her weight against me.
"Do you want me to go?
Her fingers trace patterns over my heart.
"No."
I shift the pillow behind my head.
"Then I'll stay."
She lifts herself on her elbows, resting them on my chest.
"Edward?"
I push some hair behind her ear and lean down to kiss her lips.
"What?"
She bites the inside of her cheek.
"What are we going to do now?"
I watch her closely before letting out a long slow breath as if contemplating her words and weighing them carefully. Her eyes dart around the room, and I pull her down on top of me.
"Well, I was thinking about that."
"About what?" she says. Her voice is hesitant, and I don't like it.
"About what we're going to do now."
She stares at me, saying nothing, and I cup her cheek. "I was thinking."
"Thinking what?" she whispers.
I shift her weight again and place my hand under her shirt against her back.
"I was thinking I'd like to take you on a date tomorrow."
A smile crosses her face that sets my heart on fire, and when she looks down shyly, I tip her chin up with my finger.
'What do you think?"
When she doesn't respond, I kiss her forehead and smirk. "You know, I could always make you."
She smiles again before snuggling into my chest. And at that moment, I don't care if she makes me wait forever. This is enough. And when she raises her hand to run her fingers over my cheek before looking up at me with sparkling eyes, I know I'll do anything for her. All she has to do is ask.
"It's already tomorrow," she whispers. "When can we go?"
