If any of ya'll fools are still here after a year and 3 months with no update… then holy shit. You're dedicated. You are a dedicated audience like no other and I love every one of you.
For all the newcomers – hi! It's been a year and 3 months since I last updated! :D
I would like to have some grand excuse other than "I haven't been in the mood for The Hobbit" but that's literally it. I haven't been in the mood. I've just been into other fandoms and exploring other hobbies, so I apologize.
You have all been so fantastic to me, and I wanted to bring you a good story that felt natural, but everything was coming out stiff and awful and I didn't want to do you guys dirty like that. I'd rather upload something good than something quick, but sometimes you've just gotta force yourself to write otherwise its never going to happen. So that's why this chapter exists. It's not perfect, but I feel better about doing something.
Either way. Please enjoy this labor of equal parts love and hate. :)
The Loudest Silence
Chapter Twenty-Five
I woke up the next morning feeling disoriented and more than a little lost. For starters, I wasn't in my soft guest bed, but strewn across what felt like someone's leg and half of a bedroll. My head was aching before I was even fully conscious, though it became much worse when I got around to opening my eyes.
The sun greeted me cheerily and all I wanted was to crawl into a dark, quiet hole. I had never experienced a hangover before now, but I had the odd feeling this was it. This was what the world had warned me about. I slowly sat up, squinting around at the absolute disaster zone I had konked out in the middle of, realizing I had indeed slept across someone's shin. Ugh, no wonder my back was sore, too.
Kili, the owner of the not-so-comfy-shin, was snoring alongside his brother, and nearby was Ori, also still dozing. They were spread out just as haphazardly as I was, leaving me to assume they may have gotten hammered last night as well. Seeing several vacated bedrolls around us, I could only guess the majority of the Company had already started their day, but I did spot Bofur and Gloín also just waking up.
"Good mornin', all," Bofur greeted as he sat up and took in the scene, stretching and readjusting his crooked hat.
Gloín grumbled a greeting out and I waved a lethargic hand, standing up to work out my stiffness. I realized with a non-existent groan that I had fallen asleep in my borrowed dress, and thus, my corset, with the undergarment probably fused with my skin at this point. Peeling it off was going to be a pain.
I also spotted the wine stain on the skirt of it, remembering my talk with Thorin and my surprise at seeing Arwen in the garden below us. I hoped Nadri wasn't too mad about the stain, but of course, whatever magic detergent they used could probably fix it just fine.
With the activity of others waking, Fili began to return to consciousness, with Kili and Ori following. Fili and Kili seemed less perturbed by their uncomfortable sleeping positions than Ori did, probably having more experience in the matter than him. The scribe was blinking around in much the same way that I was – with squinted eyes and a grimace that spoke volumes about our confusion.
Though Kili was pretty ruffled looking, he was able to give a lopsided smile as he directed his attention to us. "Not used to the heavier drinks?"
"Not Elvish wine, at least," Ori mumbled.
I nodded, careful not to jostle my head too much. 'I do not drink a lot,' I signed. Honestly, I couldn't remember much of what happened after I got back from speaking with Thorin. On that note, I desperately hoped I didn't do anything moronic in front of him while drunk. We were finally on okay footing with each other again…
"The first time is always the worst, in my opinion," Fili said, halfway yawning the last part. "Though credit where credit is due – these immortals know how to make a wine."
"It was alright, I suppose," Gloín put in a bit grudgingly, like he hadn't absolutely chugged his last night.
"I don't remember laying down to sleep," Ori spoke up again. This time he seemed a little more awake, but was looking around with the air of a detective, like the surroundings would explain more if he just stared hard enough.
"It was less of a lie down and more of a collapse, lad," Bofur said. "Yer fine though – didn't miss much."
There were snickers from Fili and Kili.
"Excepting of course for Jenna's lovely, ah… dance," Kili chuckled out.
"I'm not even sure I would call it a dance," Fili said with a bit of a skeptical, joking face. "But those were her words, not mine."
This topic did not appear promising, and I pulled an expression that was equal parts curiosity and dread. I was not a dancer on the best of days, so I could only imagine what gorgeous display I put on while drunk.
In response to my look, Fili asked me, "So what exactly is this?" And proceeded to pose briefly with one arm extended upwards to the side, and his face in the crook of the opposite arm as it bent in the same direction. It lasted for all of two seconds and it wasn't as smooth as the ones I was used to seeing back home, but I recognized the move. God, did I recognize it.
I felt my eyelids halfway shutter themselves when my eyes rolled. Scrubbing a hand over my face, I shook my head and left the room, ignoring any further questions. It was too early for this shit.
Perhaps I should have sated their interest then and there though. If nothing else, it might have prevented them from doing a synchronized dab during breakfast just to make me choke on a fruit chunk. The others of the Company seemed to be at least partially aware of what was going on, having obviously seen my 'dance' move the night prior.
Though the morning meal was rather subdued compared to our previous ones – I assumed because of either hangovers or the looming truth that we would be back on the road soon – the inescapable question still rang out.
"That's truly a dance where you're from?" Nori asked with no small amount of skepticism.
I looked up from my plate and waggled my head and hand in a gentle 'sort of' motion, regretting ever having partaken of the Elvish wine. Both because of the raging headache and my insufferable need to mimic pop culture. Deep down though, I was just glad I hadn't tried to twerk or something… I cringed at the thought of doing that in the presence of Thorin, decidedly not looking his way during the conversation. Dabbing was honestly not that bad in comparison to what could have gone down.
Choosing to elaborate, recognizing that Fili and Kili were getting ready to ask more questions regardless, I simply said, 'Sometimes is used in a dance, or is used when you win something.'
There were a few nods of mild interest, and Dori's little side comment of, "Odd." Just… odd.
"We'll have to show you a real dance one day, lass," Bofur piped up, then amended, "Not that there's anything wrong with... that. Just used to somethin' a little more…" He paused, and when he couldn't come up with anything else, he just said, "Well, a little more."
I gave a smile, wondering what Dwarven dances looked like. 'I would like that.'
After breakfast, I promptly made for the guest room and changed out of my blue dress. The thing was wrinkled to hell and back, and the lingering stain on the skirt made me wince all over again, hoping Nadri would be forgiving. Taking off my corset was just as painful as I expected it to be as well, leaving the tell-tale angry red marks all over my torso, but also reminding me of another problem.
Putting my regular, modern bra on, I knew it wasn't going to survive the entire trip. I'd already gotten some heavy use out of it before even coming to Middle Earth, but a month plus some of wearing the cheap bra every day (and night) had been harsh on the poor thing. It was fraying in several spots, with strings coming out of the elastic, and the back hooks were hanging on by sad threads.
It was the same story for my other clothes as well, but I had no idea what to do about it. Perhaps I could purchase some clothes from the Elves? Finding a single dress for my figure had been hard enough, and it wasn't even a proper fit, so maybe a commission? Honestly though, we were leaving in… barely a day and a half?
Yikes.
Assuming they could even throw something together in that amount of time, I had no more money. What little I had won from the bet when the Company first set off had all been spent in Bree on my camping supplies.
Figuring out my only solution, I finished changing to my normal attire and went to find someone I could ask. Honestly, I'd rather speak to a female about it, but no ladies around here could understand Iglishmêk, so I settled upon asking the first Dwarves I came across.
Since breakfast had been over, the Company had split up, either to train or to bathe or just to make use of the safe atmosphere while they could. The duo I happened upon was Balin and Dwalin, on their way to what I could only assume was the training yard (if their casually carried weapons were anything to go by).
Despite my headache remaining in full swing, I gave them each a nod in greeting, though honestly, my hangover smile was probably closer to a gremlin snarl at that point. So very charming. I followed this up with a brief hand gesture that obviously meant I needed to ask them something.
"Can we help you, lass?" Balin asked quite patiently as they paused, waiting to see what I needed.
I glanced at Dwalin and pursed my lips slightly, figuring it didn't really matter if he was here when I brought up bras and underwear. I mean, good grief, he was the first of the Company to find me missing my pants that day in the forest, so there you go. Something told me the warrior wasn't going to judge a girl for needing breeches that wouldn't fall apart at the first rough encounter.
In the simplest answer possible, I signed to Balin, 'Clothes?' To demonstrate my point, I glanced down at my outfit and patted several fraying, worn-out spots along my sleeves and pant legs.
Nodding, Balin seemed like he had been expecting this. "Aye, of course," he said, pursing his lips slightly before continuing. "Thorin mentioned you would be needing new garments. Something more suited to travel conditions than what you've got there."
I nodded again and paused to think on how to word my next question without being weird. 'How can I get… underclothes? A thing for a lady's chest? Not corset, but like…' Erm, how to describe a bra? The term 'bra' wasn't even coined yet…
When my hands unconsciously went for the vague cupping motion while remaining far away from my actual chest, it was still enough for Dwalin to steer his gaze elsewhere with an almost eye-roll. He was officially done with the conversation, expression becoming overly bored to mask his embarrassment at the subject matter.
Balin seemed more amused than anything, even though this topic appeared to be bordering on inappropriate. It's not like I had a choice though! It was a Dwarf or nothing, and behold – all my Dwarves happened to have a Y chromosome!
Continuing my explanation, I signed, 'Like,' again briefly before pulling the collar of my shirt and hoodie to the side with one hand, plucking my bra strap like a banjo with the other hand.
This was unnecessary though, as Balin understood well enough, intercepting with, "Of course, of course – we'll see what we can get arranged for you in that regard."
'Ask Nadri,' I said, perking up a bit now that the most embarrassing part was over. Nadri knew my size pretty well already, so if someone around here could find me a medieval bra, it was probably her.
Dwalin had glanced back over to catch this since the talk of breasts had finished, remarking with disapproval, "Ye bothered to learn their names?"
My brows drew together the smallest bit as I basically pouted, saying, 'Only a few.'
"A few too many, ye mean," he grumbled.
My pout became sour.
Balin gave a small chuckle, more air than actual laugh, before guiding the conversation back. "I'm not sure which one you're referring to, lass, so you'll likely have to point her out to me and we'll get it sorted. As for replacing your outer garments, that might be a bit trickier."
I tilted my head slightly and raised an eyebrow. Surely the Elves had something to spare? I didn't care if it was cute or stylish – as long as it stayed together until we reached Erebor, I wouldn't mind being a fashion disaster.
Taking a quick look around, Balin lowered his voice and explained, "If we aren't careful, they'll catch on that we're making our leave soon. Rushing them to either make or search for suitable travel clothes for you will only confirm our plan."
Oh. Right.
I didn't take into account the fact that we would be trying to sneak away when we left. This revelation caused my expression to fall, knowing Balin had a point. If we told the Elves we needed the clothes before a certain time, they would easily figure us out, but if we didn't mention a date, they might not have anything ready for me before it was time to go.
"Had we known ye needed these things a tad sooner, we might've been able to arrange this without arousing suspicion," Balin considered, then noticed my guilty face falling even further at his words. "Not that I blame ya, lass. Many of us expected you to call it quits, after all."
My lips were tight as I frowned, feeling bad for putting this off. If I had spent less time moping and more time preparing, then maybe we wouldn't have to weasel our way around the situation. (Not that I didn't have a completely valid reason to 'mope' those first two days. I just had an anxiety streak about a mile wide that demanded it was my fault regardless.) Would the Elves try to delay our departure if they knew when we were leaving? In the movie, the Company snuck away just fine, but what if we accidentally showed our hand before then because of me? Would they try to stop us, like Thorin believed when we first arrived?
Balin was already thinking of a game plan, thank goodness, and he said, "The under garment I can make an excuse for; we can just say ye need freedom of movement to train. They won't think anything of it, seeing as it's true, in part."
This seemed sensible enough, so I nodded a little and waited.
"And what of the rest?" Dwalin asked, actually seeming a bit curious about how his brother was going to solve this dilemma.
A look overcame Balin, similar to the look someone gets when they're playing chess and they're about to earn a check mate, but they're trying to stay humble about it. "Don't fret too much, now," he said to both of us. "The shirt I already have a solution to, and I have an idea for the trousers, though I'll need a few words with some of the Company."
And that's how Nori and Dori found themselves as part of a grand scheme to get me some pants.
While Dori's actual stomach was a larger than mine, his hips were the closest to my measurements in the Company. With Nori as the lead actor, it was pretty simple for him to pretend his brother had ripped his own breeches while training in the yard, requesting a replacement pair until the others were mended. This was all under the pretense that Dori would run around Rivendell in his unders if he didn't have a substitute pair for the time being. Thankfully the Elves believed this was not outside the realm of possibility, seeing as how the Company had gone skinny-dipping in their mountainside fountain just yesterday.
Not wanting a pantsless Dwarrow wandering their fine halls, our hosts complied with the easy request. When the Elves offered to mend the ripped pants, Nori was quick to answer that his brother preferred to do his own sewing, which wasn't even part of the small batch of fibbing. That part was true.
It seemed a bit convoluted, but once Dori, Nori, and Balin had delivered the pants to me, I was too thankful to question their methods. Balin had a spare shirt on hand as well, which I didn't expect.
"I tend to run a bit on the cold side, so I'm used to bringing a little extra something, just in case," Balin explained as we walked to my room for me to try the garments on.
I made an expression which could best be described as a mushy combination of eternal gratitude and copious amounts of I-might-cry-so-please-don't-judge-me. Turning to him, I motioned, 'What if you get cold now?'
"A bit of a chill isn't going to keep this old Dwarrow down, Miss Jenna," he said wryly.
I beamed as we reached my room, my three companions waiting out in the hall as I shut the door and began to undress. The pants they had procured were made of a tough but oddly soft material, in a brown color that summoned thoughts of coffee and suddenly had me craving Starbucks more than ever. While they were way too long, I could roll them up and have them stay with ease once my boots were in place. The drawstrings were a step more complicated than my sweatpants, working more like if I was tying a tennis shoe than just pulling a knot together.
Taking a look at how long Balin's spare shirt was, I waited to tie the pants until I had the shirt on and tucked in, like I had seen people do in medieval fantasy films all my life. The shirt itself was a plain, light beige, long-sleeved thing – not enough shape to it to do me any favors, but not as potato-bag-esque as I believed it would look on me. (And thankfully thick enough to not have to layer with my t-shirt if I didn't feel like it.) I think the neckline was my favorite part though, having four buttons at the top to adjust how tight I wanted it.
Leaving only the very top button undone, I opened the door to show the small group how everything fit.
"Makes you look right at home, lass," Balin said encouragingly.
I was grinning, not only excited to have new clothes, but also happy that they made me feel cool. They weren't even especially fancy or flattering or anything; it was just the idea of wearing Middle Earth clothing that put a spring in my step. Balin's words of looking right at home were just the cherry on top, making my heart feel warm.
"Now maybe you won't stick out like a sore thumb," Nori piped up, smirking just the slightest.
My eyes rolled a bit without me willing them to, my headache the only thing keeping me from being more dramatic with it.
Dori, ever the pragmatic one, reminded me, "It would be best not to wear those around here for now though, lest they catch on what we're doing."
"Aye, you'll want to stow them away for the time being," Balin agreed, assuring me before they left, "And don't worry – I haven't forgotten about the other necessity."
I pointed Nadri out to Balin during lunch, as she had luckily chosen to strum on her harp for a bit before we all gathered for the meal. It was later, after we were through eating and I had taken a nice bath, that Nadri came by my room.
Dressed in my modern clothes, having stuffed my other duds in my backpack and out of sight, I was towel-drying my hair some more when there was a knock at the door. This was followed by the familiar, "Lady Hollander?"
As I opened the door, I was greeted with the sight of the young Elf woman, holding a medium-sized bundle with both hands. It looked a little too large to contain just a bra, which sent my brain whirring. Was it maybe… two bras? No… that wouldn't make any sense.
I gave a smile and a nod in greeting, scooting out of the way so that Nadri could come into the room. She gave me a nod in return, smiling more with her chocolate eyes than with her mouth. This in itself wasn't unusual, and I couldn't be sure because I didn't know her super well, but she seemed tenser than she normally was when visiting me.
Before she could say anything, though, I remembered the rumpled blue dress I had changed out of this morning. Sheepishly, I pulled the garment from where I had left it on the bed and held out the wine stained skirt for her to see. I tried to express my apologies with a crinkled brow and pursed lips, blinking up at her from under my lashes. Puppy dog eyes, Jenna. Puppy dog eyes…
The state of the dress didn't appear to upset Nadri, only causing her to set her bundle on the bed for a moment in order to take the gown from me. She examined the wine blotches, brushing delicate fingers across the discoloration as her face softened slightly.
"This will come out with ease," she said in a tone bordering on amusement, confirming my belief that they had secret laundry magic.
I relaxed at her words, taking her demeanor as a sign that she wasn't mad about the wine. My curiosity about the bundle couldn't be curbed for long though, and I found my eyes drifting towards it, causing Nadri to gently set the dress aside and continue what she came here for.
"Your companions informed me that you are having issues training in a standard corset," she began, gliding back to where she laid the bunch, slowly undoing the silky cloth it was all wrapped in.
Once it was undone, and she unfolded it to reveal the myriad of contents, I knew the Company had not been as sneaky as they thought. Nadri was a hundred percent sure we were about to leave, and it showed – there were cotton undies, like the ones I had grown familiar with in Rivendell; more feminine products, which basically meant I owed Nadri my soul now; a small mystery pouch; and then, of course, a surprisingly bra-like undergarment.
"We are no fools, Miss Hollander," she said in an almost reprimanding tone, staring me down with a contradictory look of calm.
I found myself shrinking inward unconsciously, like I was getting in trouble or something. Was I in trouble? I mean, why would she pack all this stuff for me if I was getting in trouble?
"We are well aware that your Company is preparing to leave soon, though we are not certain when," she continued on, glancing at me again with almost a conflicted look on her face. "I do not believe our Lord Elrond is in agreeance with the quest your Dwarves have chosen to carry out. However, if you insist upon remaining with them, you should at least have what a lady requires."
My confusion was beyond palpable, and I could only shake my head for a moment, blinking. I didn't understand where this was coming from. Eventually, I mouthed the simple question to her, 'Why?'
There was a pause while Nadri's features resumed their normal Elven calm, and she replied, "While Elven healers are renowned for our skill, it would have taken immense power to vanish your injuries in such a way. If She believes you to have a role in this quest, however foolish it may seem to us, then I have no wish to deny you what aid I can."
Dumbfounded, I realized she was talking about Galadriel. Of course Nadri had noticed my miraculous, instantaneous recovery – she and Lieren had been taking care of my injuries since I first arrived. Why wouldn't she have noticed? But how did she know it was Galadriel? Was Galadriel really the only one capable of healing me so fast? Or did Elves have a magical I.D. system they could feel? If someone used magic, did it leave a type of fingerprint behind that mortals couldn't sense? If that was the case, could they feel Yavanna's enchantment over me? Did Gandalf leave magical residue when he did stuff too?
I had so many questions!
First and foremost though, I mouthed an awed, 'Thank you' to Nadri.
Her eyes showed that slight amusement again as she gave a short nod. "May these provisions ease your journey, Miss Hollander, if only the smallest amount."
I felt stupidly emotional as Nadri made her leave, closing the door behind her so I could try on the new boulder holder. (Okay, so 'boulder' was being generous considering my lack of endowment, but you get the gist.) The thing was really similar to a corset, but shorter in the torso, focusing more just on containing the chest than the stomach. Made with shoulder straps and more flexible material, the garment was obviously crafted for a more active lifestyle than the stuffy corsets I had been borrowing. Which was perfect.
There was nothing but gratitude flowing through my veins as I tossed my shirt and tattered bra aside, slipping into the half-corset like it was meant to be. It was so, so close to a modern bra that I damn near cried. As soon as this godforsaken quest was done, if I couldn't go home, I was getting seventeen of these bad boys commissioned.
After I was sure that it wouldn't slip or impede my movement, I removed it and folded it back up into the bundle with the underwear and the lady products, stowing it with the clothing that waited in my backpack. For now, anyway. I wanted my new bra to last me for… well, hopefully all the way to the mountain, really, so once we were back on the road I would have to see how long I could delay any wear and tear to it. I replaced my regular attire back on my body and turned to the last item from the bundle.
The only thing that remained was the small mystery pouch. It wasn't very big, so I was curious as I tugged on the drawstrings and found some honestly kind of random stuff in there. The first thing was a small cloth made of some sort of abrasive material, the second a bundle of pretty fine but sturdy thread, and the third, a tiny wooden box. Opening the box revealed… leaves? Dried plants of some… kind?
I squinted at the greenery for a long time before sniffing it lightly, understanding hitting me with the smell of mint. Uhh, was this a dental kit? Did Nadri give me a medieval dental kit? Was… the string supposed to act as floss? What about the cloth? I mean, was I supposed to chew on the leaves? How much at a time? How often? Was it okay to swallow the plant itself? I mean, it was just mint, right? Or was this the Middle Earth version of mint that would make me hurl if ingested?
Never in my life had I felt more stupid, desperately wishing for the ability to Google this. Up until this point, I had just been winging it with the oral hygiene – if you could even call it that – just kind of scraping plaque off with my nails or using random things as toothpicks, hoping my breath didn't smell too horrendous. I didn't have any gum, any toothpaste or a toothbrush, any mouthwash. This little kit was better than nothing, I supposed, even if I wasn't sure about the exact logistics of it all. I cringed at the thought of having to ask someone how to use dental hygiene products, but I was from another world and another time period, dammit! I was allowed to be confused once in a while!
Shelving those questions for later and putting the little pouch with my things, I realized that the Company should probably be told about Nadri's gift. Not necessarily because of what was inside, but because of what she had said to me. With the Elves watching us so sharply now, aware of our preparations for departure, we would have to be even more careful than before. I didn't want to fuck up and get us trapped in Rivendell or something. I mean, I didn't think Elrond would trap us here, but the guy thinks we're about to go wake up and piss off a dragon that's been sleeping for decades.
And… we were going to do that… really… but it still ended with Smaug's defeat. Oh… except for all the death and destruction in Laketown… Yeah. Nevermind, maybe Elrond wouldn't be totally off his rocker if he wanted to prevent that… But doesn't Gandalf bring up the fact that Smaug might align with the enemy if they don't get rid of him now? Then again, Gandalf has to convince the Council that there even IS an enemy during this apparent time of peace, so…
Oh sweet, girl-muting Yavanna, my head was starting to hurt again.
I took a deep breath and pushed my anxieties aside, leaving the guest room to find someone from the Company.
It didn't take very long at all before I located several Dwarves out in the training yard, all engaged in various tasks. Balin and Dwalin were there, in a low-key sparring match with each other – though only low-key on Dwalin's part, as I had seen him move much faster than that before – and along with those two, Fili and Kili had brought Ori out with them. Somehow they had gotten the youngest Ri brother away from Dori for five seconds, and that in itself was commendable.
Of course, Thorin was there as well, forever on the top of his game, never resting for more time than was strictly necessary. When you had enemies at every turn, who could afford to? He was still practicing with Orcrist, trying to adjust to the feel of the lighter sword as opposed to his heavy Dwarven blade, when I stepped into the grassy area.
My entrance caused a few to glance over, but no real pause in the activity of the yard. Fili and Kili were too engulfed in showing off in front of Ori, or they might have noticed my antsy posture before Thorin did. As it was, the king saw me waiting like a pangolin with my hands in front of me, a tiny furrow on my brow that I didn't even realize was there, and he slowed his movements. Once still, Thorin examined my expression further, his own eyebrows turning into a question. My answer was to purse my lips and glance at the others, catching Balin's attention with a small gesture of my hand as well, making it clear I needed to tell them something.
Once Balin called a sort of timeout with his brother and set his weapon off to the side, Thorin doing the same with Orcrist, they made their way over and I shuffled out to meet them. The rest of the group had begun to side-eye our interaction, interested more thoroughly now that Thorin and Balin had ceased their activities in order to see what was up with me.
"What is it?" Thorin asked in a somewhat reserved tone, crossing his arms like he wasn't interested. His eyes were still too soft though.
I frowned a little bit more, trying to figure out the easiest way to explain my concerns. I simply went with, 'Elves know we will leave soon.'
They looked at each other in silent exchange before Balin glanced away, sighing. "Aye, we should've known they'd be catching on," he said. "Thought we had been quite careful, all things considered."
"Has something happened?" Thorin asked, their mission's security at the forefront of his mind.
My lips were in a thin line as my shoulders came up uncomfortably, not in a shrug but in more of an apologetic way, as I signed initially to Balin, 'Nadri brought more than just…' Yeeh… Then I took a peek at Thorin awkwardly, looking back to Balin before I finished up with, 'thing we asked for.'
Though I was aware the two had spoken about me needing new clothing, I wasn't sure what all Balin had discussed with Thorin. Just the thought of them having to talk about literally anything related to my undergarments made me want to fling myself into the nearest waterfall, but I mean… we were adults here, yeah?
It was clear they wanted elaboration on my encounter with Nadri, so I continued, only vaguely mentioning the supplies. 'She brought more woman items. Said if I must go, I should have them. They do not know when, but know we leave soon.'
Though I had explained myself, there was still an air of confusion.
Balin voiced as much, hands on his hips while he said, "Seems an odd thing to do if your Lord is against a quest."
I gestured, 'She is kind. And they have helped us by letting stay. Rest. Restock.' Which was true. Even if they didn't agree with our mission, the Elves were still helping us.
Of course the annoyance that briefly rolled off of Thorin at such a statement was clear, as he shifted his weight and averted his glare from me for a very purposeful moment. "Simply keeping an eye on us under the guise of hospitality, more like," he grumbled.
I had to wait for him to look back my way – annoying thing about sign language – before I could state, 'I am grateful. I need these items.'
Sensing the King was about to go on another rant about Elves, Balin chose then to interject, wondering instead, "As helpful as it seems, if our hosts were planning on putting a stop to our quest, why assist the opposing party?"
'Nadri said because of Galadriel's healing,' I explained, then remembered that Balin wouldn't have any idea what that meant. Err…
This was obvious as he raised a brow, asking, "Who?"
"Miss Hollander was healed by an Elf witch," Thorin answered for me under his breath, like talking about it would bring Galadriel waltzing through the door.
Balin was… intrigued. Raising his brows, he looked back and forth between the two of us as he inquired, "Now, when did this happen? Is that why your injuries up and vanished the other day, lass?"
I nodded, chewing on my lip.
"What does the witch have to do with your Elf's decision?" Thorin asked this time.
'Nadri respects Galadriel. Wants to help me because of her,' I said, a little hesitant with how quiet it had gotten.
I realized then why exactly the noise had stopped, and caught sight of Fili and Kili in the background. They were no longer pretending to spar, but instead were full-out conferring with Dwalin and Ori now, looking a bit too much like a gossiping clique as they glanced our way every so often, speaking in low tones.
The two Dwarves before me noticed as well, though when they looked back at their companions, the responses were either one raised eyebrow (Fili, Dwalin) or sheepish smiles (Kili, Ori).
Sharing a look, Thorin and Balin then returned their attention to our conversation.
"Well, as long as you've gotten the necessary items, then I don't suppose there's much else for it," Balin conceded. Shifting the topic back to the main issue with a sigh, he continued, aimed at Thorin, "However… Our plans for departure may need to be adjusted. A little earlier, then?"
"Aye," Thorin agreed, unfolding his arms. "We must slip away tomorrow before dawn when there is little light."
That sounded like an atrocious night of sleep, but that's exactly what they did in the movie, so I should have prepared myself for such a thing. Ugh, just the mention of waking up that early had my eyelids growing heavy.
"But we'll have to eat dinner with our host as usual so as not to arouse suspicion," Balin added, then looked to me. "Make sure you have all your things together tonight, and we'll come get you in the wee hours of the morn when it's time, alright?"
I nodded, already making a mental list of all the things in Rivendell I would miss. Warm baths, a soft bed, fresh fruits, assurance that I wouldn't wake up with a Warg gnawing on me like a squeaky toy…
Y'know, just the little things in life.
"Inform the others and I will speak with Gandalf," Thorin evenly said to the both of us before taking his leave from the yard, stride purposeful but not overly suspicious.
So we did just that.
The small group in the garden was obviously first to be told, waiting with open ears as we – well, mostly Balin – explained about the slight change in plans. Disgruntled that they would have to sneak away so early but not entirely surprised by it, they agreed that it was the smartest move.
This went for the rest of the Company as well. Balin and I gradually found all of our ensemble as we walked around the airy hallways of Rivendell, checking the usual spots where the Dwarves would hang out. Once found, their reactions were mainly the same, ranging only from slight frowns and begrudging 'aye's, to complete indifference. They had expected this.
The energy at dinner was horrendously subdued compared to all the others that came before, and I wondered how the Dwarves survived without the word 'subtle' in their dictionary. Maybe they just replaced it with the definition of 'obvious' and ran with it as a mass typo.
Not that I could really blame them, as I wasn't much better. All I could think of as I shoveled salad into my mouth was everything that awaited us on the road, glancing around the table at my unusually quiet friends. Bilbo especially seemed out of sorts, probably thinking about his conversation with Elrond that I knew he had at some point. 'Hobbits were fond of the comforts of home' Elrond had said, or something like that, tempting our burglar to just stay put in Rivendell, maybe chill with the immortals for a bit.
I wasn't concerned though. Bilbo was half Took, after all.
The Elves that floated nearby were watchful. Polite as usual, but they definitely noticed the change in atmosphere, murmuring to each other in Elvish. Nadri was absent from her harp, and Gandalf and Elrond were nowhere to be seen, either. Though I had wanted to say laters to the Wizard after dinner, it wasn't a massive big deal. I knew we'd see him again… like, in the Goblin Tunnels. Running for dear life.
I was prompted by this less-than-stellar thought to finish up my meal and go take one last nice, warm bath. Maybe my last. Who could tell for sure anymore?
I went ahead and snagged another bar of soap for the road after my bath, refusing to feel guilty about my desire for cleanliness. As I stowed it away in my bag, I took stock of everything, making sure I still had all the clothes that were gathered for me by my friends and the bundle from Nadri. I didn't want to get on the road only to realize I lost my undies in Rivendell somewhere.
Once I was 100% certain that nothing was missing, I remembered a very important item in my pants pocket that still needed a bit of fixing.
The small, still somehow very loud whistle that Bifur had made for me, needed a new cord. String or leather, didn't matter which, I supposed, as long as it held up. Gavin had ripped the thing from my neck without a care in the world, and the original leather string would be too short to fit over my head if I tied it in a durable knot again. Hmm…
Figuring my companions might have something that would work, I left the room and headed to their little camping area. The sun had already disappeared beyond the horizon for the night, leaving Rivendell enveloped in the calm I had become used to while staying here.
The zone was a sight better than it had been that morning, almost all the evidence of the previous night's party missing. No more random pillows strewn about, the broken glasses cleaned up, and the empty wine barrel mysteriously vanished. It was just the Company, sitting around their little fire in complete safety one more time. Well, not all the Company. Thorin was nowhere to be found, and Bilbo was gone as well.
"Oy, Jenna!" Bofur hollered upon seeing me, waving me over to where he was sitting with Bifur and Bombur.
I couldn't help the small smile slipping onto my face as I came over, taking a seat next to the little family. It was obvious they were taking stock of their supplies with their bags and various items in front of them, double-checking everything just as I had been. I knew the group had been doing this off and on ever since they decided on a specific day to leave, but it was better safe than sorry. One more run through of their items wouldn't hurt.
"Ye ready to be back on the road, lass?" Bofur asked in his lively manner.
At first I shrugged, conceding eventually with a nod and a crooked half-smile. In some ways, waiting for the quest to continue was its own form of torture, so yeah, I was ready.
However… I pulled out the whistle from my pocket and held up the string for them to see, pulling a face that was clearly asking for help.
Bifur was the one who piped up this time, and though his bout of Khuzdul grumblings were still lost on me, I could understand the hand gestures that accompanied well enough. He was miffed at the Men.
"Oh, aye, we know they were – but do ye have another bit of cording for her?" Bofur agreed with his cousin, asking my question for me.
Bifur gave a short nod and a grunt, rifling through his pack, pulling out random half-made wooden figures and different carving tools until he came to what he was looking for. Out came a small bundle of cording, the same as what he had used the first time.
He motioned for me to hand over the whistle and so I did, watching as he took the broken cord off and placed it in his bag, probably saving it for some other occasion. Travelling through wilderness, you never knew what might come in handy.
Within minutes, Bifur had returned my whistle to me, new leather string attached. I happily placed it back around my neck where it belonged, signing a relieved, 'Thank you.'
"Birâthûna," he said at the same time as he motioned, 'You're welcome.'
I grinned.
It was about that moment that Bombur yawned, oddly loud for how quiet he usually was. This, in turn, made me yawn, even though I wasn't the least bit tired despite knowing I needed to go to bed soon.
Bofur was somehow the voice of reason, saying, "Indeed, yer right, Bombur. It's gettin' to be about that time. We'll be off before even the sun herself is awake." He turned to me then, patting my shoulder closest to him as he said, "I suggest ye be getting some sleep yourself, lass. No tellin' what kind of rest we'll find once we're outside the valley again."
Though I was in agreeance, my body was just a bundle of anxiety. Ignoring my own tense anticipation for the morning, I gave a nod to my friends, departing from their company to go to my room.
I debated upon whether or not I wanted to sleep in the nightgown one more time or just wait it out in my new clothing, but in the end, my nervousness won. I wanted to be absolutely ready when they came to get me in the morning, so I put my sweat pants and my hoodie away in my backpack, wearing the new trousers instead. I just kept my t-shirt and bra on underneath the long-sleeve shirt Balin gave me and called it a night, leaving only my boots off as I crawled into bed.
"Do you think she'll like me?"
"Hm? Oh, Fiona? Of course! Why wouldn't she?" my Aunt's voice hit me again, the memory crystal clear.
I was hesitant. Younger. "No, I mean… like. I just kind of thought it would be neat to have a little sister. Even though I'm not – I know I'm not your actual…"
She paused. There was frustration, but it wasn't aimed at me. It was never aimed at me. "Jenna. You're mine in every way that counts, honey."
I felt lighter. "Yeah… I know."
"If it helps, I'm sure she wants a sister, too."
A cheeky feeling. "I bet I'll be a better sister than mom, anyway."
Aunt Laura was trying not to laugh. "That bar is so low, is it really an accomplishment? Oh… I shouldn't say things like that."
"It's true though!"
Knock, knock.
"Miss Jenna."
Eh. The fuck was nudging my shoulder?
"Lass, we've got to get going."
Oh… Right, right, of course.
My eyes opened with some difficulty, spotting Balin hovering near my bedside. I didn't question the fact that he was inside my room. We were trying to sneak out, after all, so it wouldn't do to have him loudly knocking on the door for several minutes in the earliest hours of the morning.
Damn. As if you could even call it morning. The only reason I could see as I sat up was because of the sconces that were still lighting the room.
"Get your things," Balin said, maintaining a soft volume. "The others will be ready soon."
Groggy but somehow alert, I nodded, sticking on my boots and grabbing up my backpack. I did a double-check of the room, glancing around to make sure nothing was left behind on the floor or on a table. I patted the whistle hanging against my chest as reassurance, and that was that.
Balin and I made our way through the halls, the silence of Rivendell almost smothering me. (Except for the waterfalls. Always with the waterfalls.) It was only when we rounded a few more corners that I could hear shuffling and whispers alleviating the tense atmosphere, still the quietest I had ever heard these Dwarves. Even when they were sleeping there was usually loud snoring and snorts and snuffles. I would have to mark the calendar or something for such an occasion.
When we finally met up with the Company, despite how slowly the sky was beginning to lighten and how hardly any torches were still lit, I could see that everyone was fully prepared to depart, packs on and supplies where they should be. The low light didn't keep them from noticing my change of clothes either, though only a few made any mention of it.
I got an encouraging murmur from Fili as he weaseled through the bunch with his brother, saying, "This suits you much better than that Elven dress."
"Yes, you'll fit in perfectly now," Kili whispered in agreeance. Nearby, Nori gave a thumbs up, probably proud of his contribution to the pants scheme.
Now that we were all together once more, it was clear that Thorin was ready to get going ASAP. As he looked over the faces of his Company, checking to be sure everyone was accounted for, he only paused on my clothing for a split second. Self-conscious of not only my new look but also my inevitably messy hair that I didn't bother fixing, I offered a smile that was soft and still somewhat sleepy. For all the seriousness in his mood at the moment, it felt oddly reassuring when he gave a short nod to me in return.
Thorin, in almost the same motion as the nod, turned and gave a jerk of his head to the others, meaning it was time to scoot.
And we were off again.
:D
Good fucking riddance to Rivendell. I hope I never have to write about it ever again.
Lord, guys. My dudes. This chapter is a hot mess and I know it. I wrote off and on for the whole time I was gone so the flow is terrible and everything feels stiff because I'm so gosh darn rusty it hurts.
I'm not making any promises as to when I'll update, but it's not going to be another flippin' YEAR. I can't do that again or this story will never get finished. And I have so much planned. I have basically the whole frickin' story planned, and it's just the small bits that give me trouble, but the small bits are what make the characters bond and in Thorin and Jenna's case, fall in love. It would devastate me if this just became yet another thing that never saw an ending, or worse, never even got to the romance. Oof.
But anyways. You guys – I've read this chapter and the previous few about a hundred times, but if there's some inconsistency or retcon within the fic, please let me know. My memory is already awful so this long-ass story is an absolute test of my resolve.
Every bit of feedback from you is appreciated, even if I don't get to reply to every single person like in the early days of this story.
ONE MORE THING – I did make a tumblr solely for my fanfics, and since this is the only one rn, the tumblr is basically just TLS. I post updates and progress on word count as I write, and sometimes photo edits or pictures for TLS. url on there is 'swaninprogress' just like on here. :)
Until next time, my dudes ~
