AN: This chapter, as well as future chapters, contains spoilers for the Attack on Titan anime. Though we're still early in the story, the variety of perspectives in this fanfic means that some plot twists will be revealed earlier than they were in the anime. I'm sure that everyone reading this has probably already watched the anime and/or read the manga, but I just felt it necessary to mention. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy Chapter 5 of The Price of Life.
The bead of sweat tickled his skin as it made its way down the side of his face. Rasmus made no move to wipe it away, however, as his attention was focused solely on his opponent.
As the wooden knife was waved around lazily, he spotted an opening. He tensed his muscles before springing into action, leaping towards his opponent. Gritting his teeth, he reached for the exposed weapon.
At the last moment the knife was plucked from his reach and its owner turned around to shield it with their body. As he collided into their back, Rasmus twisted his body in a desperate attempt to avoid his opponent's counter attack.
Not reacting quick enough, he felt the knife tap him lightly but firmly on the chest, accompanied by an enthused chortle.
"Ha, I got you!" Ada declared triumphantly.
Rasmus groaned and stepped back, wiping the sweat from his face as Ada performed a celebratory jig. The air in the training enclosure was filled with a thin haze due to the large amount of dust getting kicked up by the cadets.
Feeling his lips cracking, Rasmus tried to wet them and was instead rewarded with the taste of dust and grit. Spitting on the ground, he looked up at his friend.
"Seriously, I don't get why you're taking this so seriously. It's not like we're getting
graded on it. Besides, the only people who could find themselves in a situation against an armed opponent are the MPs, and I for one don't plan on finishing in the top ten." Ada looked at him expectantly, as if challenging him to argue with her.
Rasmus shrugged in reply. "It just feels wrong not to try."
Ada huffed, placing her hands on her hips. "Does it look like anyone else is trying?"
Sure enough, a glance at his surroundings told Rasmus that his friend was right. Other than Connie and Sasha who were at present making strange sounds and assuming even stranger fighting stances, the rest of the cadets seemed largely drained of motivation, doing the bare minimum in order to keep the instructor off their case. Rasmus' eyes surveyed the training field until they fell upon a shocking sight. A blonde cadet was locked in a grappling session with a dark-haired opponent. Despite the fact that her opponent was a head taller than her and held the knife in his possession, she appeared to be winning.
"Is that… Annie?" Rasmus asked, transfixed by the scene unfolding before him.
Ada materialized next to him. "Oh, Schnozzie?"
Rasmus resisted the urge to facepalm. "That doesn't even sound close."
"Blondie then? I haven't decided what to call her yet."
"Why can't you just call people by their names?"
Ada smirked mischievously. "I don't know, why don't you take this knife from me?"
"I would if I could."
"Well then there's your answer."
Rasmus sighed, realizing he'd fallen right into her trap. Glancing back at the spar that had drawn their attention, he watched the blonde cadet's fluid, calculated movements with interest. He hadn't been sure on the first night in the mess hall but now he was certain that there was something unique about Annie. The way she kept to herself, the body language she gave off, and her aptitude in combat, it all contributed to her mystique. Thinking about it almost made him shiver despite the dry heat of the training enclosure. However, even given the discomfort, Rasmus felt an irrepressible urge to uncover her mystery. An enthused gasp from Ada brought his focus back to the present and he decided to temporarily halt his musings in order to watch the sparring match unfold.
On closer inspection Rasmus noted that Annie's opponent was Eren Jaeger, a refugee from Shiganshina like himself. At present Annie had a hand over Eren's mouth and used one of her legs to sweep Eren's feet out from under him. Rasmus winced as Eren landed heavily on the gravel.
"Ooh, that's gotta hurt the pride," Ada declared.
Whether it was his body or pride that hurt, Eren refused to move from the spot where he had been dumped. While Rasmus pondered which it was, Ada's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Oh? A challenger appears!"
Sure enough another cadet was approaching the pointedly disinterested Annie. By the solid build and musculature of the cadet Rasmus could tell at a distance that it was Reiner.
"Wait. Does he look… scared?" Rasmus' previous impression of Reiner was that nothing could phase the ox of a man. Despite this assumption, Rasmus couldn't deny the nervous energy that the man was giving off as her approached Annie.
"Can you blame him?" said Ada. "After her fight with Jaenger it's clear that Short-stack is not someone you want to mess with."
As they watched Annie effortlessly sidestep Reiner's lunge before using his momentum to send him hurtling towards the hard ground, Rasmus decided that despite the questionable nicknames that was the most reasonable thing Ada had said all day.
"Ouch! Beefie just got caked!"
And it wasn't even close.
Annie sat in the mess hall with her chin resting in the palm of her hand. She remained watchful while portraying a façade of indifference. The tray in front of her lay empty and Mina sat across from her currently rambling on about the latest gossip. At least that's what she assumed. In reality Annie had tuned out the pigtailed girl once the discussion had shifted from Mina's favourite home-cooked meals to who was on the instructor's shitlist. It wasn't that Annie was simply bored of listening to gossip. Though it wasn't her preferred pastime, it could be relied on to provide useful intelligence periodically. On this occasion however, her attention lay elsewhere.
The truth is Annie wasn't just another cadet concerned with trivial matters like lounging around the barracks or socializing while off duty. She had a secret that nobody within the walls could know about. At the age of 10 Annie had been injected with Titan spinal fluid which had transformed her into a mindless titan. While in her mindless titan form, she was fed a woman who possessed the ability to transform at will into an intelligent titan. This act allowed her to inherit the woman's ability, enabling her to switch between her titan and human forms. She inherited the ability to become the Female Titan. The others went through the same procedure as her, with Bertholdt inheriting the Colossal Titan, Reiner the Armored Titan, and Marcel the Jaw Titan.
She and her comrades Bertholdt, Reiner, and Marcel had been sent by the Marleyan government on a mission to retrieve the Coordinate, the person possessing the abilities of the Founding Titan. Marcel had been killed while protecting Reiner from a mindless titan before they had made it within the Walls. She had wanted to return to Marley then and their, but was strong-armed by Reiner into continuing their mission. She wished Marcel had just let the bastard die. He had been much more likeable than the coward that he left behind. There was nothing she could do now though, except work with Reiner and Bertholdt to ensure the success of their mission. Their mission that had caused the deaths of over a million people so far, and they weren't finished yet. The higherups had tried to ease their consciences by telling them that they would be saving the world, but she wasn't fooled. She knew how to tell when someone was spouting bullshit and this whole mission reeked of Marleyan propaganda. Atoning for the sins of the Eldian people? What a load of crap. She and her fellow warriors were nothing but pawns for the Marleyan military.
Though their mission was a lie, Annie couldn't bring herself to care. Why should she give a damn about saving an irredeemable world? This world didn't deserve to be saved, not in her eyes. The only reason she was taking part in this crapshoot mission was so that she could return home to her father. They may have had their differences, but he was the only person in the world who cared about her. She would do whatever she had to to return to him, no matter the cost. She regretted that that cost was the lives of so many innocents, but she would do it again if she had to. After all, she had promised her father that she would return.
As reunion with her father was at stake, she couldn't allow anyone to interfere with the mission. That's why she hadn't let the blonde boy out of her sight. Twice now she had caught him watching her; first, in the mess hall after their first day of training, and second, during combat training this afternoon. She knew it was likely paranoia motivating her action; two occurrences in the same number of months were hardly suspicious, but she couldn't afford to take any chances.
Annie had figured that if their cover was ever blown, it would likely be by those in authority. They had managed to attain all the documentation they needed in the refugee camp, after all they were far from the only children to arrive with nothing but the clothes on their back, but there was always the chance that an investigation into their pasts could turn up an inconsistency. Bertholdt had been especially anxious during their first week in the Cadet Corps, fretting that their backgrounds would be searched before they were allowed to join the military. His worrying proved to be unnecessary however, as the first week passed without incident, and then the first month. Apparently the military was so desperate for soldiers after the fall of Shiganshina that they hardly glanced at any of the applications. Not that she blamed them. In their mind the enemy was the mindless titans, and there was no way one of those could infiltrate the military.
Given the lax attitude that the people within the walls held towards personal history, especially when compared to Marley, then maybe it was more likely that they would be discovered by their peers rather than by military officials. Perhaps this boy had seen or heard something he shouldn't have. Had he seen them leave the training grounds during the night, on their way to discuss their mission outside of Wall Rose? Pushing this speculation out of her mind for the time being, she glanced across the cafeteria and noted that her target was finally alone.
"Excuse me for a moment, there's something I have to do." Mina, who was midsentence when Annie interrupted her, paused at the interjection. An understandable reaction, Annie reasoned, since she herself rarely spoke during their conversations, and even less so when unprompted.
"Oh. Okay, sure." Even as she responded, Mina still looked confused.
Annie quickly got out of her seat and crossed the mess hall. Though she walked with purpose, she felt a multitude of eyes upon her. Uncomfortable, she approached the table she had been monitoring as quickly as possible and sat down across from its sole occupant.
"Hey," she greeted tersely, drawing their attention.
The cadet looked up in surprise at the greeting and his eyes widened when he saw her. "H-hi."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Rasmus. Rasmus Kirkegaard. And you're Annie, right?"
She narrowed her eyes. "How do you know that?" She hadn't spoken to him before, so why did he know her name?
Rasmus flushed. "Bertholdt!" Taking a moment to compose himself, he continued. "We were talking to him during our first dinner in the mess hall and he pointed you out."
Annie rolled her eyes. Of course that fool would go and draw attention to them on the first day. Shaking her head, she continued the interrogation. "Who is we?"
"Me and Ada," Rasmus swallowed, still appearing flustered. "She's my friend, we always sit together at mealtime."
"I see." Annie paused for a moment. He was telling the truth as far as she could tell, and overall he seemed pretty harmless. Despite this, she of all people knew that appearances couldn't be trusted, so she decided to press on. "Why were you watching me during combat training?"
Rasmus' eyebrows jumped. "Oh! I'm… Sorry about that?"
"I'm not looking for an apology, I just want you to answer my question. Why were you watching me spar with Eren and Reiner?"
"We—um, Ada and I—saw you fighting while we were taking a breather and we were really impressed. After all, you took down two larger opponents in seconds without even breaking a sweat."
Annie let out a sigh that she didn't know she'd been holding. Obviously there was no way he could have known anything; she knew that and yet she was relieved to have it confirmed. Their mission hadn't been compromised and, as soon as they had finished it, she could return home. Just as she was preparing to excuse herself, he continued.
"Honestly, I can't imagine any of the other recruits being able to match your combat ability. Maybe Mikasa could, but that's it."
His unexpected praise took her by surprise. Granted it was from someone who likely knew very little about the martial arts, but it was praise nonetheless. "Thanks I guess," she replied.
"Can I ask you a question this time?" Rasmus asked, his gaze focusing on her for a moment before darting across the room. "Or is that not allowed?"
She pondered this. She'd rather not entertain his question, but she supposed she could make up an answer or dodge the question altogether if it proved difficult. Besides, it was like he said, she had been questioning him intensely for the past few minutes. It wasn't as if his request was unreasonable.
"Fine," she replied, her face a stone mask.
Rasmus wet his lips, seeming hesitant to speak. "Could you teach me how to fight like you do?"
She stared at him for a moment. "Why? You think it will help you get into the interior?"
He shook his head. "I don't want to join the Military Police," he told her earnestly.
She eyed him suspiciously. "Then why are you so concerned with learning hand-to-hand combat?"
"Well, it can't hurt, right? Annie raised an eyebrow at him, prompting him to clarify. "My prospects as a soldier, I mean. Maybe it could even be fun."
She couldn't believe his ignorance. "Fun?" she echoed. "When my father taught me how to fight, it was not fun! It was hellish, gruelling, and tedious! He wouldn't let me rest until my performance was acceptable. I think that's why I…" She was about to say that's why I attacked him, but caught herself in time. She had already said more than she would have liked, especially to someone from inside the walls. Looking around, she saw that her outburst had drawn a smattering of looks from throughout the mess hall. Luckily, most of the cadets had already turned in for the night, and Bertholdt and Reiner were nowhere to be seen. All she needed now was for Reiner to question her commitment to their mission.
"That's why you what?" Glancing up, she saw Rasmus was leaning forward and watching her with an inquisitive expression.
Annie sighed and brushed a loose hair behind her ear. "Never mind. What I mean to say is that combat training isn't something you should commit to on a whim. You need rigorous discipline in order to see it through, otherwise there's no point to it. Besides," she added, "teaching isn't really my thing."
"But you seem to know so much. I'm sure you'd be great," he urged.
"Maybe, but I'd rather not spend my time training a scout who'll get devoured on his first mission outside of the walls," she asserted, watching to see his reaction.
"Oh, I'm not planning on being a scout either. I want to join the Garrison."
Her eyes widened. "Is that some kind of joke?" she asked, hitting him with a hardened stare.
"No," he replied, with a face that epitomized sincerity. "Ada and I agreed on joining the Garrison when we signed up for the Cadet Corps."
Now Annie was truly perplexed. "Why would you join the military just to get into the Garrison?"
Rasmus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, it's not really something I like sharing."
Annie certainly understood that. "I see, well—"
"—But I want to trust you."
Rasmus' words caused her to freeze up. Why would he trust a stranger with something so personal? And why her of all people? He had to either be naïve, or an idiot. Right? Or was it something else?
"See, I'm from Shiganshina. So…I was there when the titans attacked."
Annie felt a pang of regret escape from where she had been keeping it at bay. "If that's the case, why not try to get as far away from danger as possible? Why choose the Garrison over the Military Police?"
"Because the Garrison needs people like you and me. People who have seen what the titans are capable of," Rasmus said firmly. His unsure demeanor was replaced by grim conviction. The soft brown eyes that had seemed apologetic for meeting her gaze now bore holes into her. "I wish I could just hole up in the interior and never have to worry about titans again. But life within the walls isn't the same as it was two years ago. Before Shiganshina fell, people went about their daily lives without a care in the world. No one batted an eye at the titans outside of the walls, because we knew we were safe. At least, we thought we were. But now things are different. People live in constant fear that the titans will break through the walls again. And they're right to be worried. As long as the Colossal and Armored Titans are out there, nobody within the walls, man, woman, or child, is safe."
Annie's mouth felt dry, and dark tendrils of remorse began coiling themselves around her heart. He hadn't mentioned her directly, but she was just as complicit in the destruction of Wall Maria as Bertholdt and Reiner. If only he knew that she was responsible for his suffering. She took a deep breath and felt a drop of sweat tickled her cheek. She hesitated to wipe it off, however, for fear of drawing attention to herself.
"Some want to take the fight to the titans," Rasmus continued, glancing towards a group containing Eren that was leaving the mess hall. "But most people are just afraid for themselves and their loved ones. They won't be able to truly live until they feel safe again. And they won't feel safe until there are people who are ready to protect them. People who have actually faced titans up close, and are prepared to lay down their lives to protect those left in their care." He leaned closer to her, so close that she could see the fear, sadness, and resolve in his eyes. "I wish I could run from the titans like everyone else, but I can't. Not when I know that I would be condemning thousands of innocent people to their deaths. I couldn't live like that."
When he didn't receive a response, Rasmus blinked and seemed to see her again. Probably noting the discomfort on her face, he looked down at the table sheepishly, his newfound confidence evaporating. "Sorry, I got too worked up. I'm not trying to sell you on joining the Garrison. If you want to join the Scouts or the Military Police, I think that's perfectly respectable. It's just that, if I didn't join the Garrison, I would feel like I was turning my back on people that needed my help. That's something I just can't do."
"If nothing else, you've certainly got guts," Annie remarked, finally finding her voice again. Her's wasn't a stunned silence as he assumed, but a fear of what words might come out of her mouth if she wasn't careful. Though she had remained silent, she couldn't help but respect his conviction. "You do realize that that kind of thinking will likely get you killed, right?"
Rasmus' look of surprise caused her to re-evaluate what she had just said. This was the second time this evening that she had acted out of character. Telling a fellow cadet, someone she may end up having to kill, that she thought he was brave? Just what was wrong with her today?
"I know," Rasmus replied, "which is why I want to train for every possible situation. So, will you help me?"
Annie regarded him in silence for a moment. "Fine. Come find me the next time we have hand-to-hand combat training. I can't promise that you'll master every fighting technique, but I can at least teach you the basics." She wasn't sure why she decided to help him. Perhaps she was just having an off-day. Yes, she reasoned, that had to be it.
Rasmus groaned as he lay on the ground. After being downed multiple times his trainee jacket was covered in sand and dirt.
"On your feet."
Dragging himself off the ground, Rasmus managed to stagger to his feet. "Please Annie, can't you go easy on me?"
The blonde girl standing in front of him snorted. "The only time an opponent would 'go easy on you' in a real fight would be if they were toying with you. And they would be doing it to mock you, not out of concern for your wellbeing."
"I'll take that as a 'no'?"
"You're the one who wanted to train with me in the first place," Annie replied, her face devoid of emotion. "Now get in position."
It was true that they were training together at his request. Ada had been disheartened by the news but now seemed to be in decent spirits. Glancing in her direction, Rasmus noted that she seemed to have met her match sparring against Bertholdt.
Reluctantly, Rasmus spaced his feet and lifted his arms in the pose Annie had showed him. Just as soon as he had prepared himself and without waiting for a signal, his blue-eyed opponent came flying towards him knife in hand. Reaching for her knife-wielding arm, he tried to use her forward momentum against her. Instead, as soon as he grabbed her arm she spun around. Using her free hand to grab a hold of his outstretched arm, she lowered her center of gravity and pulled him over top of her, sending him flying through the air before landing on his back.
"Gah!" he exclaimed, the impact knocking the air out of his lungs.
"Here."
Glancing up, he saw Annie standing over him offering him a hand. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he grabbed her hand and pulled himself to his feet.
"You were too slow," she told him bluntly, "and your movements were too predictable."
"That's easy for you to say when you already know which move I'm going to use," Rasmus pouted.
Annie rolled her eyes. "Even so, you hesitated. You also kept looking at the arm you wanted to grab. If you want to take an opponent down, you need to move quickly and decisively."
Rasmus sighed. Despite training with Annie, it felt like he was making little progress when it came to hand-to-hand combat. He had also made little headway in trying to learn more about Annie herself. After she had interrogated him in the mess hall she rarely showed an interest in casual conversation unless the discussion included combat techniques. Recalling that she mentioned her father training her in hand-to-hand combat, he decided to prod while they were taking a breather.
"So, about your father…" Rasmus began. At the mention of her father, Annie visibly stiffened. "I was just curious. Is he the reason you signed up to join the military?"
Annie eyed him warily. "You could say that, yes."
Rasmus frowned. "What do you mean?"
She sighed. "When the Titans attacked, I got separated from my father. After working my way up the Military Police, I plan to use my connections to track him down so that I can be with him again."
"And that way you'll have the skills and resources to find him?" Rasmus pieced together.
"Exactly."
Rasmus grimaced. "I hate to say this but if you haven't seen him in years, how do you know he's still alive?"
"He is, I just know he is," Annie declared with certainty.
Despite the absurdity of her claim, Rasmus couldn't help but believe in her. "Sorry, that was insensitive of me. Well I'd be happy to do whatever I can to help you find him."
Annie blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"When Ada and I join the Garrison we'll likely be stationed in Trost, since that's where there's the greatest demand for soldiers. If your father's a refugee like you say, then that's probably the best place to look for him," Rasmus said. "Once you make it into the MPs, that's where I'd recommend you start looking. If we do end up stationed there I'd be happy to help you out, and I'm sure Ada would too."
Annie furrowed her brow. "I don't understand. What do you get out of this? Why inconvenience yourself to help someone you barely know, someone who wouldn't do the same if the situation were reversed?"
"Because it's the right thing to do," he smiled. "Also, I wouldn't be so sure that you wouldn't do the same in my position. After all, you did agree to teach me hand-to-hand combat without demanding anything in return. You know Annie, I don't think you give yourself enough credit."
She stared at him for a moment and he could have sworn he saw a glimmer in her eyes, but then she quickly shook her head and looked away. "You're wrong, I'm not a good person."
"Whatever you say," Rasmus shrugged. "I also know what it's like to lose your parents. I don't think anyone deserves that regardless of what kind of person they are."
"Enough talking," Annie said as she got into a fighting stance. "If you want to improve your fighting technique, you need to keep practicing."
"Right," Rasmus said as he mirrored her pose. He had a feeling that he was going to be quite sore tomorrow morning.
AN: Hi all, I just want to give a quick update on what you can expect from The Price of Life going forward. I had hoped to post more than one chapter this summer, but life ended up getting in the way thanks to a surgery, bacterial infection, and a subsequent lack of time investment into this fanfic. As such I am hesitant to give a time range for when you can expect the next chapter, but I do want you to know that I haven't abandoned this fanfic. I have already planned much of the story out, and will work on upcoming chapters when I can make the time to do so.
Anyways, that about wraps up what I have to say. I hope that 2022 has been kind to all of you so far, and wish you all the best. Until next time, take care.