Back to the Start
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.
The Meadow
Bella woke early, having slept more soundly than she had in weeks thanks to her gratuitous drug use. Though she felt more rested than she had of late, she slipped right back into the same frenzy as the night before. She dressed in a rush, smoothing her collar against her neck, fidgeting with her black sweater until it hung right over her jeans. She glanced out of the window to find that Charlie had already gone to join his fishing buddies. A thin, cottony layer of clouds veiled the sky. They didn't look very lasting. Maybe the weather was going to behave after all.
Bella ate breakfast without tasting the food, hurrying to clean up when she was done. She peeked out of the window again, but nothing had changed. She brushed her teeth quickly, giving her mouth a quick rinse afterwards. The same prickling sense of unease that hovered like a dark cloud in her bedroom seemed to be following her all around the house. She felt like her every move was being watched, heightening her sense of paranoia. The sooner she got to La Push the better.
Grabbing the jacket Jacob had gifted her, she pulled it on, slipping her arms in the too long sleeves and rolling them up to free her hands. Wearing his jacket felt like being wrapped in one of his warm hugs. Bella pulled it around her body tightly, feeling full of regret when she found his scent had faded.
Making one last round of the house to make sure that everything was as it should be, she grabbed the plastic containers out of the fridge that contained the diabetic friendly meals she had made up for Billy, and left.
Being careful to lock the front door securely behind her, Bella made sure to scan the immediate area to check there was no one around as she walked quickly to her truck. She nearly suffered a coronary when the engine roared loudly to life.
"Pull yourself together, Swan." She muttered under her breath as she backed out of the driveway.
It was surprisingly difficult to concentrate on the road. The same feeling of being watched continued to plague her. She tried to compensate by driving more carefully than usual through the still-sleeping town.
It came out of nowhere. One minute there was nothing but bright highway in her rearview mirror. The next minute the weak sun was glinting off a silver Volvo on her tail.
Bella was so shocked that she nearly ran the truck off the road. "Fuck."
The rare oath slipped past her lips as her shaking hands clutched the steering wheel in a death grip. She carefully guided the truck to the right side of the road, sucking in deep breaths to calm her shattered nerves.
The Volvo followed inches behind her. Bella kept her eyes trained on the road in front, trying to quell the rising tide of her panic. She was about halfway to La Push when she realized that the Volvo was no longer behind her. She slowed the truck, checking her rearview mirror, then pulling over completely so she could stick her head out of the window to make doubly sure. The silver car was no longer in sight – and she began to doubt it had ever been there. Her overactive imagination, mixed with her heightened paranoia, had fooled her into thinking that Edward Cullen was tailing her.
Bella sat in her stationary vehicle as she felt her heart starting to pound. Her throat was tightening, her vision becoming blurry as she began to experience the full-on effects of a panic attack in the aftermath of her most recent scare. Her brain was on overload. It was painful. It was scary. She longed for the presence of someone loving, calm and stable. The chance to co-regulate with someone who was relaxed and safe, that someone just being there, for her, right now, was Jacob Black. She knew that just having him there would make the most enormous difference to her present state of hysteria.
Decision made, Bella jolted back to life, gulping in huge lungsful of air, she gunned the engine, pushing the old truck to its limits as she drove like a madwoman the rest of the way to La Push.
Finally, Bella made it through the muddy lanes to Jacob's house. Before she killed the engine, the front door opened and Jacob came out, grinning and running to meet her.
Effortlessly, without conscious command to the muscles around her lips, an answering smile spread across Bella's face. The last of her panic subsided, as if it had never existed. A strange feeling of warmth bubbled up in her throat.
"Hi, Jacob."
"Hi, honey." Jacob helped her out of the truck, for which she was grateful, her legs felt wobbly. "Woah, there." He said when she nearly collapsed. "Are you okay?"
Bella held onto him for support. She longed to confide in him about her fear of being followed, but thought she would sound crazy, especially as there was no evidence of it. One minute the silver Volvo had been there, the next it had disappeared. It must be all in her head. The stresses of the last few days were catching up with her.
"I'm fine, Jake. I just need a distraction."
"What would you like to do? Study first? Or later? We could go to the beach again, or just take a walk?" Jacob suggested.
Bella looked up at the hazy sky. It was warm now, warmer than it had been in Forks since the day she had arrived. It was almost muggy under the clouds. She stepped back from Jacob and shrugged off his jacket, folding it carefully on the bench seat of the truck. Then she pulled off her sweater and knotted it around her waist, glad that she was wearing a light, sleeveless shirt underneath.
"Hey, is that my jacket?" Jacob asked in amusement.
"Yes, it is. I'm not giving it back. It's become a favorite. You told me I could keep it, remember?"
Jacob laughed at her obstinate expression. She was so cute. He liked the idea of her wearing something of his. "And I meant it. It's all yours."
Just like me, he added in his mind as an afterthought.
"Good." Bella said in satisfaction.
"So have you made your decision yet?" Jacob asked, as he took the plastic containers containing the meals Bella had prepared for Billy out of her hands. "And thanks for these."
"You're welcome." Bella strolled easily beside him toward the house. "And a walk sounds nice."
"A walk it is then." Jacob matched his pace to hers, glancing down at Bella often. He was worried about her. She looked shaken when she first arrived, like something had freaked her out. He didn't want to push, though. He hoped she would open up in her own time about what was bothering her.
"Where's Billy?" Bella asked curiously as she entered the house and found no trace of Jacob's father. She was so used to the older man being a permanent fixture, that the house felt strange without his solid presence.
"Harry Clearwater picked him up about half an hour ago. They decided to go and join Charlie and the others at the nearby fishing lake."
"Oh, Dad didn't mention it." Bella mused.
"I think it was a last-minute arrangement." Jacob stowed the pre-prepared meals in the fridge and then joined Bella again. "Ready to go?" He asked.
"I'm ready." Bella said, smiling.
Jacob automatically reached for her hand. His fingers felt warm wrapped around hers. Comforting. Just like his hugs. She felt the last of her tension ebb away as he led her back outside.
"This way." Jacob said, eyes dancing. He started into the dark forest.
"Um…where's the trail, Jake?" Bella was hesitant to go in. Something about the tall, dark, forbidding trees reminded her very much of the forest in her dreams.
"There's no trail, Bella, honey."
"No trail?" Bella asked desperately. "What if we get lost?"
"We won't get lost. I'd know the way blindfolded." Jacob squeezed her hand gently. "It's a bit of a trek but the end result will be worth it."
"Okay." Bella said uncertainly. She held his hand just that bit tighter.
Jacob noticed her discomfiture. "We don't have to go on. We can do something else instead." He said quietly.
"No. I want to see this mysterious meadow you keep bragging about." Bella jutted out her chin determinedly.
"Then what's wrong?" Jacob asked, his voice gentle.
"I'm not a good hiker." Bella admitted sheepishly. "You'll have to be patient."
"Patience is my middle name." Jacob joked. He smiled to charm her into cheer again.
Bella smiled back, banishing her worries to the back of her mind. So long as Jacob was with her, she could do this. "Let's go." She insisted.
"Okay."
In the end it wasn't as hard as she feared. The way was mostly flat. Jacob held up the damp ferns and webs of moss aside for Bella to make her path easier. When they came up against some fallen trees, Jacob helped her over them, taking hold of her elbow and lifting her, then taking her hand again once they were clear. His warm touch on her skin had a soothing effect. She felt calm and secure, her old confidence coming back the longer they walked.
Jacob was as patient as he said he would be as she slipped often. Each time he quickly steadied her, his reflexes so quick, that it seemed he knew ahead of time that she was going to stumble.
For the most part they chatted amiably together as they walked. Jacob talked about school, his friends, his sisters. He opened up about his mother, who had sadly died in a car accident when he was barely nine years old. He didn't focus on that tragedy, instead telling Bella about how much his mother loved to paint, working mostly with watercolors.
"Becks inherited her talent." He revealed, referring to the sister who now lived in Hawaii with her surfer husband. "Though she prefers oils and not watercolors."
"I remember your mom. She was so lovely." Bella said wistfully as she pictured the compassionate young woman, with the lively eyes, and beautiful smile in her mind. Jacob had inherited a lot of his personality traits from Sarah Black. "I'd like to see some of her work."
"They used to hang all around the house." Jacob sighed. "Dad keeps them locked away now. Looking at them is just too much of a painful reminder of what he's lost, I guess."
"I'm sorry, Jake." Bella squeezed his hand in empathy.
Jacob squeezed her hand back gratefully. After that they continued in comfortable silence.
The walk took up most of the morning. The forest spread out around them in a labyrinth of ancient trees. Jacob was perfectly at ease, comfortable in the green maze, never seeming to have any doubt about their direction.
After several hours the light that filtered through the canopy transformed, the murky olive tone shifting to a brighter jade. The day had turned sunny, just like the weather men had foretold. For the first time since they entered the woods, Bella felt a thrill of excitement.
"Are we nearly there yet?"
"Nearly." Jacob smiled. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"
Bella peered into the thick forest. She could hardly see anything. "You must have really good eyesight." She complained good naturedly.
Jacob laughed. "Maybe it's time you visited the optometrist." He teased.
Bella gave him a mock scowl.
But then, after another hundred yards, she could definitely see a lightening of the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. She felt Jacob pick up the pace, and had to really stretch her legs to keep up with his longer strides.
They reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns into the loveliest place Bella had ever seen. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers – violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere close she could hear the bubbling music of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. She walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air.
"Jake, how on earth did you discover this place?" She breathed in wonder.
"I didn't." Jacob was smiling so wide, pleased at her reaction. "This was my mom's favorite place to paint. On the rare sunny days, she used to bring me and my sisters here. It was like our own secret garden."
So that's why he had mentioned his mother?
Bella turned to look at Jacob, her eyes glistening with moisture. This magical place clearly held some of the most precious memories of his childhood. Bella felt blessed that he had chosen to share it with her. She saw the plaintive look on his face, the yearning to step back into the past, just so he could recapture those lose hours with his mother. He was biting his lower lip and clenching his hands. He looked like he was about to cry.
Bella threw her arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist, and pressing her face against his chest. He was so big. Again, she felt like a child hugging a grown up.
"Oh, Jake, it'll be okay." She promised. "Thanks for bringing me here. I know how difficult it must be for you."
"It's special to me. I wanted you to see it." Jacob answered, his voice huskier than usual. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head.
They stood like that for a moment, both feeling comforted by the contact. It felt strange for Bella, being this close – emotionally rather than physically, though the physical was strange for her, too – to another human being. It wasn't her usual style. She didn't normally relate to people so easily. But Jacob made it so easy, so simple, she felt so comfortable around him, like a lost planet orbiting the sun.
"If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often." Jacob's voice was light, normal again, and his laughter rumbled against Bella's ear. His fingers touched her hair, soft and tentative.
Bella pulled back quickly, embarrassed by her impulsiveness. "Its hard to believe I'm two years older." She joked, emphasizing the word older. "You make me feel like a dwarf." Standing so close to him meant she really had to crane her neck to see his face.
Jacob laughed again, softer this time. "You're like a little doll." He teased, patting her head. "A porcelain doll."
Bella rolled her eyes, taking another step back. "Let's not start with the albino cracks, okay?"
"Seriously, Bella, are you sure you're not?" Jacob stretched his russet arm out next to hers. The difference wasn't flattering.
Bella was just about to issue a retort when a deafening crack rent the air, like the sound of a branch being ripped from the trunk of a tree. One of the spruce's lining the meadow shook and trembled as if it had received a huge blow.
Startled, Bella backed into Jacob, her heart threatening to burst out of her chest with fear. He pulled her behind him, shielding her with his body as he stared hard in the direction of the quivering spruce. An unpleasant, almost sickly aroma wafted his way, blown toward him by the gentle breeze, burning his nostrils and sending a rush of heat through his body.
A/N-thanks for reading!