A/N: This chapter has a flashback - YAY! We also get a glimpse of the song Santana is working on. I was listening to 'The worst of you' by Noah Cyrus when I was writing and I realised it kind of applied to Santana's situation with her grandmother. So that's where the lyrics are from if anyone is curious. I took some creative liberties with the lyrics, cause it's a love song and I needed the words to be relevant but yeah xD I most definitely did not come up with it.
Anyway, that's all for now. Enjoy the chapter! And let me know what you think.
Jesus rolled his eyes as he watched Sophia from across the cafeteria. She had practically their whole class gathered around her, and it had been that way the whole day. She'd been talking about her birthday for weeks, making sure everyone knew it was going to be a big party, but refusing to tell anyone if they were invited or not. She'd said they would know if they got an invitation. Now Jesus knew she had those invitations in her bag. He'd seen their mama give them to her that morning after breakfast. Yet Sophia hadn't handed out a single one, as far as Jesus knew.
He scoffed loudly as she handed her trash to one of the girls in their class and the girl practically tripped over herself to throw it away.
"What're you so mad about?" Kyler said from behind Jesus. Jesus spared him a quick glance.
"She's just doing this for attention." He said, frowning. "She's not even friends with all those people."
"Yeah." Kyler nodded. "But so what? It's her birthday. Remember ours?"
"Yeah well we invited a lot of people because we wanted it to be fun. She's only inviting a lot of people because she wants to feel like everyone likes her."
"Everyone does like her."
Jesus turned to frown at his brother.
"I don't know…" the boy sitting next to Jesus said. "I'm kind of scared of her."
"You're scared of a girl?" Another boy laughed.
"Not like she'll hit me or something, but sometimes she just has this look like…you don't want to mess with her you know?"
"You don't." Jesus and Kyler said together. Then Kyler bent down and lowered his voice.
"Mama's taking us to buy our Halloween costumes today."
"Really?" Jesus lit up, completely forgetting about Sophia.
He'd been agonizing over what to dress up as for over a month, and he'd finally narrowed it down to three option.
"Yes. She told me last night. So we have to decide what we're going as."
"Okay are we matching?"
Kyler bit his lip, looking down.
"Do you…want to?"
The question confused Jesus. For as long as he could remember, Kyler was the one who dictated their Halloween costumes. Last year he'd wanted to go as woody and Buzz lightyear, so they had, but the year before that they hadn't matched, because he'd spent the whole year obsessed with Batman, and there was only one Batman.
"I don't know." He shrugged, and it was the truth. He'd included one matching costume in his options in case Kyler said they should match, but he had other options as well.
Kyler continued to avoid his eyes.
"What's wrong?" He asked, turning sideways in his seat. "Do you not want to match? It's okay, it's not like we always do."
"No…I…Nicholi said he wants to."
"Wants to what?"
"Match…with me…" Kyler raised his eyes slowly to Jesus. They stared at each other for a few seconds, with Jesus unsure of what to say. He and Kyler matched on Halloween as often as they didn't, so Nicholi wearing the same thing as Kyler instead of him shouldn't have mattered. Yet, the thought caused a weird feeling in his stomach. When they didn't match, it was because Kyler didn't want to match with anyone. This time he wanted to match, just not with Jesus.
"Okay." He said, facing forward in his seat.
"Okay?" Kyler asked, sounding surprised.
"Yeah."
"Are you su-"
"What are you going to go as?"
Kyler frowned, but Jesus pretended not to notice.
"Pirates." Kyler answered.
In trying to keep from looking at his brother, Jesus returned his gaze to Sophia, who was now talking loudly about how she'd hand out invitations as soon as she had them. He felt himself get angry.
"What are you going to go as?"
He ignored Kyler's question, standing up so suddenly that he nearly toppled his chair and storming over to Sophia.
"Hey Sophia." He called as he approached. Sophia turned to him.
"What?"
"Can I have an invitation?"
Sophia frowned.
"What are you talking about, you don't need one."
"Plus she doesn't have them yet." One of the girls sitting around Sophia said.
"Oh really? Then what did mama give you-"
"Jesus!" Kyler called, running towards him. "Stop it."
"I'm just wondering why you're pretending you don't have them, when they're in your bag."
"What's wrong with you?" Sophia asked, standing up herself. "You don't know what mama gave me."
"I saw her-"
"Jesus!" Kyler pulled him back but Jesus tugged himself free.
"I saw her give them to you!"
"She gave me one!" Sophia said angrily. "So I could see how it looked and if I liked it."
"You're lying."
"Jesus you're going to get in trouble." Kyler tried to pull him back again, this time Jesus turned around, shoving him so hard he fell flat on his back . He didn't stay down for long though. In seconds Kyler was up on his feet, charging at Jesus.
Santana felt gross. She could feel the sweat on her back and just under her boobs and the collection of it on her nose. She hated it. And on top of it all, she was trying to remember the lyrics to songs she usually knew by heart, all while making sure she stayed on key.
The music stopped suddenly, and so did she, dropping her body to the floor and breathing heavily to try catch her breath.
"You didn't hit that high note." Malek said.
"Whatever." Santana panted. "I'm not going to be doing planks in my concerts."
"No, but if you want to dance and sing, and remain in tune, this is the best way to do it. You're getting your body used to it."
"I've never heard of any musician doing this."
"Are you tired?"
"What do you think?" She glared at Malek.
"Good. No thinking, how did you feel after your grandmother kicked you out."
Heart still racing, Santana pulled herself into a sitting position, reached out for the pen and book on the table beside her and got ready to write.
"Hurt." She said, remembering how she'd cried for half an hour in her car before calling Brittany. "Broken."
"Betrayed?" Malek asked. Santana nodded.
"But I still loved her. I loved her so much."
"You were ready to forgive her….if she called you up for lunch the next day would you have gone?"
"Probably." Santana said honestly. "Where I am now…where I need her acceptance, isn't where I was then. Back then, I would have happily accepted some kind of truce, where we just don't talk about the fact that I'm a lesbian, if it meant I got her back. I would have let her tell me about the hot telenovela stars that she thought would make perfect husbands for me, or about how I shouldn't be too much of a smart mouth because men don't like that."
Malek nodded. Seconds later, a new song started playing; the instrumentals of the song they'd been working on for the last two weeks.
"Write it down." He said.
Santana loked down at the page, which had a few lines written down from previous sessions just like this. She took a deep breath and began to write.
"Are you capable of loving me tonight?
Do you even know how to do it right?
Handed you another chance to disappoint me,
And again you did me wrong."
And it feels like all I ever do is
Pay for your excuses to buy a little time
I don't know why I even entertain it
You're never gonna change
Hell, you're never gonna try
So why am I still tryna prove
That I can love the worst of you?"
She wrote and re-wrote. Crossing out entire versus and starting again, feeling tears prick at her eyes, and the lump grow heavier and heavier in her throat, but she never stopped writing.
By the time she was pulled out of her thoughts by her phone ringing, Santana realised she had written not just that entire song, but started a whole new one.
She looked up to find Malek walking over to her phone. He silenced it.
"Can I-" she cleared her throat of the rasp. "Let me see it."
"No." He said. "You're in the middle of a breakthrough Santana, and if you pull out now, you might not be able to pick it back up. Look what you just did." He pointed to her lap where the book was resting. "We're getting somewhere, but if you allow yourself to get distracted, you'll just close yourself up again."
Knowing he was right, Santana sighed.
"Fine." She said. "But can we take a damn break?"
"Sure." Malek smiled, the song switched back to the one that had been playing before. "Do you want to do planks or squats?"
Brittany dropped her phone heavily onto the couch she was sitting on, feeling the beginnins of a headache. She was glad that Kaleb didn't ask what was wrong because with how angry she was feeling, she wasn't sure she could answer without yelling.
"I have to go." She said several minutes later.
"Where?"
"Cedar. I need to pick up Jesus and Kyler."
"Are they okay?"
"Not for long." She grumbled, standing up. "They were fighting!"
Kaleb's eyes popped. "What?"
"Yup. I can't…I just cannot understand why they would…" Brittany ran a hand through her hair. "In the middle of the cafeteria."
"Fighting…physically?"
"Yes!" Brittany said angrily. "And I've told them! Santana and I have told them that we don't condone fighting at all! I mean what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get them to listen?"
Kaleb shook his head, clearly at a loss.
"They fight…all siblings fights, I get that, but why does it have to get physical? They're always tackling each other to the ground, and the older they get, their punches are going to start carrying some real weight. Then we're going to start having black eyes and split lips."
Kaleb stood up hesitantly, looking like he was approaching a wild animal.
"I hate to say this Brittany, because I don't want you think I'm implying that you and Santana can't raise your kids on your own…" Brittany frowned, but Kaleb rushed out his next words before she could speak. "Maybe they need to hear it from someone they think understands what they're feeling."
"What do you mean?"
"Well like you said, you don't understand why things have to get physical, but I know from your stories that Santana used to love beating people up…right?" Brittany nodded. "Well do they know that?"
"No, I don't think so."
"I think that it would do them some good to hear from an adult that they trust, that they understand the urge to fight, that they've been there before, and that it isn't the answer. If you guys don't want them knowing about Santana's past, maybe you should get someone else…someone you trust, to talk to them."
Brittany considered this.
"Do I need to go into hiding?"
Though she wasn't fuming anymore, Brittany was still a little angry, so she didn't laugh at Kaleb's joke. She shook her head instead.
"I'm going to go pick them up." She grabbed her purse from the floor. "I'm going to have to talk to the principal I'm sure…" She sighed.
"I'm sorry Britt."
"Thanks." She forced herself to say, before walking out.
The prinicipal wasn't at all pleased. He told Brittany in great detail how the school had a no violence policy, how her sons' behaviour was unacceptable, and finally, that they were suspended for two weeks.
"Suspended?" Kyler shrieked.
"Yes Kyler, your behaviour was inexcusable." The principal said harshly. "Fighting like uncivilised animals." He shook his head. "This is a lesson you must learn, it seems you have chosen the hard way."
Kyler slumped back into his chair, pouting heavily.
"Mr Weisen" Brittany said, sitting forward. "I agree with you, wholeheartedly-"
"Mama?" Kyler cried.
"Quiet." Brittany hissed, narrowing her eyes at Kyler. She turned back to the headmaster. "I agree with you that fighting should never be tolerated, and I appreciate that a lesson must be learned here, but there are factors at play that I don't think you've considered."
"And what's that?"
"Jesus' ADHD."
Mr Weisen's hard look softened almost immediately as he looked at Jesus, who hadn't spoken since the fight had been broken up. He nodded.
"Alright." He said. "Yes, you are right, I had not considered that."
"Now I know it isn't an excuse, and I don't think he should get off scott, free." She glanced at Jesus. "As for Kyler, I have no idea what would posses him to continue the fight, but…"
"No, no…" He held up his hand to stop her. "This is definitely a different situation than I had first approached it as. Two week suspension may not be the best solution here. But Mrs Lopez-Pierce I must stress that this cannot happen again. Have you looked into med-"
"We have an appointment with Jesus' doctor to see how we can better help him." Brittany nodded.
"Okay." Mr Weisen nodded. "We will also see what we can do for him here." He made a note on a sticky note. "Detention for three day." He said, looking intently at Jesus and Kyler. "That means no swimming training for you Kyler." He pointed at him.
"And no going to the studio Jesus." Brittany said. Jesus nodded solemnly.
"Alright." The principal stood up, prompting Brittany, Jesus and Kyler to do the same. "Thank you for coming Mrs Lopez-Pierce." He shook Brittany's hand.
"Of course. And I apologise for their behaviour."
"We are of course very understanding of the situation." He patted Jesus' shoulder. "Let's just work harder at keeping our heads, yes boys?"
Jesus nodded. Kyler stayed glaring at the floor. Brittany smacked his arm. He nodded instantly.
"Good. Have a good day Mrs Lopez-Pierce."
"Thank you, you too Mr Weisen."
Brittany led the two boys out of the principal's office and through the school in silence. She didn't speak when they got to the car, or as she drove off. In fact she didn't plan on speaking until after she'd spoken to Santana and calmed down a bit. But then she heard Jesus and Kyler muttering.
"We could have been expelled." Jesus said. "This is better."
"You have ADHD so I have to miss swimming? That's better to you?"
"My ADHD is what saved us. You're the one that hit me first."
"You pushed me first, this isn't fair."
"Not fair?" Brittany asked loudly. "What's not fair Kyler? Did you hit your brother?"
Kyler nodded bregrudgingly, which Brittany caught through the rear view mirror.
"I need to hear you say it."
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, I hit my brother."
"And you think that doesn't deserve punishment?"
Kyler crossed his arms over his chest and didn't answer, turning to glare out the window.
"That's what I thought." Brittany said. "The truth is, you shouldn't have gotten off because of Jesus' ADHD, do you understand that? Jesus can't help that he explodes like that, but you can. You were lucky today. Lucky it was me in there and not mami."
Kyler looked forward, his eyes wide.
"Are you going to tell her?"
"Yes I am, and then you can explain to us both why you two decided to fight in the cafeteria."
When Santana's phone rang for the fifth time, she could no longer justify ignoring it.
"Switch it off." Malek said, with irritation in his voice.
"No." Santana stood up and took her phone. "Something is obviously wrong."
Brittany hadn't left any messages or voice mails, so she had to call her back. It was answered on the first ring.
"Santana you need to come home."
"What's wrong?"
"Our sons got into a fight, got suspended and then unsuspended."
Santana frowned. "What?"
"Get home now!"
"Okay." She said quickly, alarmed by the anger in Brittany's tone. "I'm coming."
"What? Where are you going? Santana we're in the middle of a session, finally getting something done-"
"All of these songs can wait until tomorrow." She gathered all her things, putting on her shirt and throwing her phone into her bag. "This can't."
"Is everyone alive?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then they can wait."
"What are you not understanding?" Santana asked. "I'm leaving. That is not a request. I will see you tomorrow."
Without waiting for a reply, she left.
The house was quiet when she entered, which told her everything she needed to know. She dropped her purse on the glass table in the foyer, took off her shoes and steadied herself for whatever she was about to walk into.
"Brittany?"
"Yeah."
Brittany's voice still sounded so tense. Santana followed it to the iving room, where Brittany was sitting on the couch, arms crossed over her chest.
"Where have you been?"
"Studio." She walked down the few steps and stood before Brittany. "What happened?"
"Why haven't you been answering your phone?"
"Malek wanted me to focus-"
"Of course." Brittany scoffed, shaking her head.
"Of course what?" Santana frowned. "Brittany what happened? They got into a fight?"
"What happened is that I needed you, they needed you, and you weren't here because….Malek wanted you to focus?"
"I haven't been able to write for the past few days, and today I had a breakthrough…he didn't want me to lose it."
"And since when is what Malek wants more important than me Santana?"
"It's not." Santana dropped onto the couch beside Brittany. "Brittany what are you even talking about? I'm here now."
Brittany shook her head.
"I've ben calling you for over half an hour. The school called you….something could have been really wrong Santana."
"Brittany." Santana prised Brittany's hands apart, holding them tight. "I'm sorry. You're absolutely right. Absolutely." Brittany turned to her, a softness creeping into her eyes that hadn't been there when Santana first arrived. "What happened?"
Brittany sighed heavily.
"They got into a fight."
"With who?"
"With each other." Even her voice had softened, Santana was glad to notice. "Right in the cafeteria. Rolling on the floor and everything."
"Oh my god." Santana muttered, fully understanding Brittany's anger now. "How many times have we told them…"
Brittany shrugged. Then Santana remembered.
"Wait you said…they got suspended?"
"Yeah, but I managed to talk Mr. Weisen out of it. Three days of detention instead."
"They're so lucky it was you instead of me." Santana shook her head. She didn't notice Brittany smiling. "What the hell is wrong with them? I swear I'm one more fight away from getting out a slipper and just-"
Brittany's giggle cut her off.
"Why are you laughing?" She asked, more than a little confused. "This isn't funny."
"It's not." Brittany agreed. "But somehow you have me laughing." She pulled Santana forward and kissed her, first on the cheek and then gently on the lips. "This is why I need you."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there." Santana said, feeling genuinely like the worst wife in that moment. "I should have just answered my stupid phone."
Brittany kissed her cheek again.
"It's okay." She smiled. "Your busy….I was just angry with them and took it out on you."
"I don't know…"
"Come on." Brittany stood up and held her hand out for Santana. "Now that you're here I can drop that bad cop act."
Santana took her hand and stood, taking a deep breath. "I'll be your bad cop any day Brittany Lopez- Pierce."
Jesus and Kyler were both sitting on their beds, both looking so scared it almost made Santana laugh. She clenched her jaw to keep from smiling and crossed her arms over her chest.
"First of all, both of you give me your Ipads." She said. They jumped, rushing to hand them over. "Now explain to me what happened."
She and Brittany listened as they tried to tell the story, interrupting or correcting each other.
"Stop." Brittany said, holding up a hand. "You were fighting because Sophia wasn't giving out her invitations?"
"Why is that your business?" Santana asked Jesus.
"She…she was just doing it for attention."
"So what?" Brittany asked.
"That's exactly what I asked him."
"It was annoying, listening to her all day, and she was lying anyway."
"Okay so your sister was milking it for attention and it annoyed you." Santana said. "That's a separate issue. Why did you start a fight with Kyler."
"I didn't start it. He was pulling me, he kept pulling me. So I pushed him, to get him off me, and then he attacked me."
"He shoved me to the ground. He's always pushing mami."
Brittany and Santana glanced at each other.
"Only because you're always in my space, always pulling me or pushing me or holding me back or something."
"Because I know you'll get into a fight otherwise."
"You think I was going to fight Sophia?"
"Enough." Santana interrupted them. "This is what it call comes down to. Mama and I have told you that it's only okay to fight, if you are defending yourselves."
"We don't want you getting beaten up by other kids and not fighting back because we said we don't like violence."
"Now does your fight today have anything to do with self defense?" They both went to nod, but when Santana narrowed her eyes, they quickly shook their heads. "You both got angry and let your tempers get the better of you. Now I know, since I also have a temper, that sometimes it can be hard to control, but there are two things that the two of you need to get into your heads. First, you are brothers. You have to have each others backs-"
"Just like you have to have Sophia's and just like you have to have Mateo's."
"Exactly." Santana nodded. "It doesn't matter how angry you get, it doesn't matter what they've done to you, you cannot get physical with your brothers or sister, do you understand me?"
Kyler and Jesus nodded.
"Second of all, fighting will only ever get you into bigger trouble. You almost got suspended today, and if you had, would it have been worth it?"
Kyler and Jesus shook their heads.
"You've been given detention, does it feel worth it?" Brittany asked. "Do you still feel like it was the right decision to hit each other?"
Kyler and Jesus shook their heads.
"That's what fighting gets you." Santana said. "More problems than you started off with. Most of the time you regret it."
"So next time you feel like fighting, ask yourself, is it going to be worth it? Will it be worth it for me to see how disappointed my mums are-"
"And we are very disappointed in you two. Very disappointed." Santana emphasized.
"Will it be worth it to miss my swimming training, or my football game, or my time in the music studio-"
"Or Halloween."
Kyler and Jesus' mouths dropped open. Brittany turned, shocked, to Santana.
"Yes." Santana said, nodding. "You both need to understand how serious this is, and since I am not my grandmother and therefore won't beat you over the head with the nearest object, this is the next best thing."
"We don't get to do Halloween?" Jesus asked.
"No." Santana said. "And frankly, this kind of behaviour makes me question whether you should be allowed to go on tour with me, or" she looked at Kyler, "if you should see the Rams game."
Kyler burst into tears.
"Please mami." He cried. "I'm sorry. I'll never fight again….I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Jesus began to cry too, though more silently.
Brittany had no idea how Santana kept her face so neutral. She'd been furious as well, but the look on both of their faces had her heart breaking.
"I don't think you've really learned your lessons-"
"We have." Jesus choked out, wiping his eyes. "We're sorry, we won't do it again."
"Maaamiii"
Brittany couldn't take it. She pulled Kyler into her, then Jesus. They both cried harder.
"Okay." She said, trying to calm them down. "Okay, we'll think about it okay? If you behave yourselves and we see that you've really understood what we're saying, then we'll think about letting you go."
"Okay." They both sobbed into her stomach.
"Sorry." Jesus added.
"I'm sorry." Kyler parroted.
Brittany looked at Santana, her bottom lip pouting hard.
Santana sighed.
"Come here." Santana said, opening her arms for Jesus and Kyler. They fell into her, gripping her waist hard. "I love you."
"I love you too." They both said.
"I'm not happy with you, but I love you." They nodded. With a kiss on the top of both their heads, she let them go. "You stay in here until dinner."
"Okay."
"And talk to each other…Apologise." Brittany raised an eyebrow. "Fix it."
They nodded again.
"Okay."
When they'd entered their room and the door was safely shut, Brittany turned Santana to face her.
"No Halloween?" She asked incredulously.
Santana pressed her lips together and shrugged.
"I get that they have to be punished, but Halloween? Santana it comes once a year! And I have a whole thing planned out, and we got the candy, and the movie…I mean what are we going to do, lock them in their room while you, me, Soph and Niki watch a movie together? We can't do that them, and actually, you can't do that to me! You know I need my annual Halloween picture! And pretty soon they're not going to be trick or treating with us. They're going to want to do it with their friends. Like next year…." Brittany's eyes widened. "This might actually be the last year they want to do it with us, and we're going to throw that away because they got into a stupid fight?"
Santana burst out laughing, laughing so hard she fell onto the bed, gripping her stomach.
"Why are you laughing? I'm serious! We can punish them some other way, but Halloween is sacred. Halloween and Christmas. And Birthdays-"
"Britt" Santana gasped. "Oh god babe!"
As Brittany calmed down, her brain began to catch up. She glared as Santana rolled over.
"You just said that to scare them."
Santana nodded, unable to speak.
"That's not funny. Were you also bluffing about the football game and tour?"
"Yeah" Santana said, trying to calm down. She sat up and took a deep breath. "Of course. They made a mistake, and no one got hurt…they don't need to suffer for months. I just needed them to get that we were serious."
Brittany shook her head, sitting down next to Santana.
"You scared me."
Santana leaned into her.
"Hey you're the one who asked for bad cop."
"That I did." Brittany turned her head and kissed Santana's shoulder before laying her head on it. "Thank you."
"We're in this together baby." Santana rested her head on Brittany's. "You don't need to thank me."
Brittany found that she now had a problem. She knew that Jesus and Kyler were still going to participate in Halloween, but she couldn't exactly tell them that, which she needed to do in order to find out what they wanted to dress up as. She also didn't have the heart to have a conversation with them about what they would have gone as, because she knew it would just make them even sadder about not being able to dress up or go trick or treating.
She thought about what to do the entire drive to Cedar Crest to pick up Sophia and Mateo. Santana suggested they ask Nicholi, who was bound to know something, but Brittany thought he would probably mention it to Kyler the next day at school, and tip him off to their bluff.
They watched a group of kids escort Sophia to the car. Santana smirked, turning to Brittany, who had her eyebrows raised in amusement.
"I guess that's what was irritating Jesus?" Santana chuckled.
"I can see why."
"I blame Noah."
"Noah?"
"Yeah. He's been telling her she's the boss since she was three."
"Oh yeah." Brittany laughed. "Do you think we should be worried?"
"About what?"
"Soph." Brittany pointed. "I mean it's cute now, but when she gets older….we don't want her to be one of those mean girls do we?"
"Sophia's not mean." Santana shook her head. "She's…opinionated and bossy."
Brittany chuckled, finding it hard to argue with that. "True."
Mateo came running to the car, his bag, which was unzipped, swaying wildly behind him. Brittany had no idea how all his books hadn't fallen out yet. She quickly jumped out of the car, holding her hand out for him to stop and walking towards him.
"HI bud." She said happily as she zipped his bag.
"Oooops" he grinned. "I was in a rush."
"Why?"
"We're going to get our costumes right? You said."
"Yes, we're going to buy them, and guess what?"
"What?" He asked excitedly.
"Mami's coming with us."
Without another word, Mateo ran to the car. Watching him gave Brittany an idea.
Mateo was an excellent double agent. Brittany sent him to Jesus and Kyler's room to find out what they would have wanted to be for Halloween. She didn't tell him that they would still be allowed to take part in Halloween, despite him begging for their forgiveness, so that he wouldn't accidentally let it spill. In no time, she had the information she needed, and they'd gone to get their costumes.
Now it was Halloween morning, and Brittany was practically vibrating with excitement. She and Santana woke up early to make breakfast, which was of course spooky themed. There were pancakes with different decorations; chocolate syrup in the shape of a spider web, dozens of edible googley eyes, icing in the shape of vampire teeth and strawberry syrup for blood, and Santana had had the idea to make egss with food colouring, so there was some red and green scrambled eggs. Lastly, Brittany had cut a few bananas in half and stuck chocolate chips on them for eyes and a mouth, so that they looked like ghosts.
Even Sophia woke up early.
By seven fifteen everyone was in the kitchen enjoying the sweeter than usual breakfast, and singing and dancing along to a Halloween playlist Santana had put together. When they were done, Sophia and Mateo went to change into their costumes and get ready for school. Brittany and Santana kept Kyler and Jesus in the kitchen under the pretense of helping clean up the kitchen.
"My loves." Santana said after a moment. "I know you're really upset about not being allowed to do the whole Halloween thing."
They nodded.
"But thank you for being such good boys. Not sulking or throwing tantrums or anything like that."
Jesus and Kyler looked at each other, looking serious.
"We talked like you said." Jesus said.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah and we decided…we deserve it." He looked like it pained him to say it. Kyler nodded.
"Yeah. Just like…you know if you're naughty, you don't get gifts from Santa…and we were naughty just before Halloween so...In the car I said it wasn't fair, but it is."
"But we're really, really sorry." Jesus said. "I shouldn't have been shouting at Sophia like that, and Kyler was just trying to make me stop before I got in trouble."
"And I shouldn't have attacked him. I just got really angry when he pushed me." He turned to Jesus. "Sorry."
"It's okay."
Brittany beamed at them.
"You're such good boys!" She said happily, pulling them both in for hugs. "I knew you were good boys. Mami and I have a surprise for you."
"There are some outfits on the bed waiting for you."
They looked like they suspected what the outfits were but didn't want to get too excited before they were sure.
"Go check." Santana laughed. The raced to the stairs.
"We did good." Brittany said, pulling Santana into her and resting her chin on her shoulder. "I'm impressed with us."
"You're impressed with us?"
"Yeah. We taught them a lesson, and still managed to come out the good guys." Brittany grinned. "It's called A-class parenting." She kissed Santana's shoulder.
"THANK YOU!" they heard screamed from upstairs.
"And they'll never know." Santana smirked.
The morning of Sophia's birthday, Santana woke up before the sun. She checked on the girls in the living room, making sure they were all still asleep, and then called the chef who was coming to make breakfast. He would be there in half an hour. With nothing to do to occupy her time, Santana wound up sitting outside under a blanket, watching the slow sunrise. She hadn't really had a lot of down-time like this, where there was nothing she was supposed to be doing, and she could simply exist. All of her free time had been spent trying to get as many songs finished by December as she could. So far she was up to six.
So it was nice to sit with her thoughts for a while. Today all she could think about was Sophia. It was insane to her that the tiny, shy, fragile and traumatized little girl that had walked into their lives so suddenly was now ten years old. Santana had wanted to wrap that little girl in as much bubble wrap as possible to keep her safe from the world, but now she had no doubt that Sophia could handle herself. In fact she often thought they would need to protect the world from Sophia. She was confident and sure of herself, which was all Santana ever really wanted for her, and every day she was grateful that she and Brittany decided to take her.
Had it thrown a complete curvball into their lives? Absolutely. Had they been prepared? Absolutely not. But it was the best decision they ever made.
Actually, Santana realised, they wouldn't have gotten Sophia if Brittany hadn't gone roaming around the hospital the night Puck was shot and found Mateo. Santana had been preoccupied by the fact that Puck was dying, so she wasn't all that interested in going to gush over a baby, but Brittany had been adamant and convinced Santana to go see him, which really meant that Santana should be grateful for their tenth grade cheer camp.
That all seemed a lifetime ago now….
Flashback!
Santana woke up to light tapping on her arm. With her eyes still closed, she reached out, gripping the offending finger and holding it tight.
"Britt." She whispered, "go back to sleep."
"But I'm already awake."
"That's why I said go back to sleep."
"I caaaan't."
Santana cracked an eye open, enough to see that the room was completely dark, not a hint of sunlight coming through the curtains. She sighed, letting her eye slip shut once more.
"Briiiit."
"Santana please, I'm excited."
Groaning, Santana rolled over so she was facing Brittany, but she didn't open her eyes, hoping she could trick her brain into staying half-asleep.
"I've never been to a camp before." Brittany said. "And I know we packed last night-"
"You mean a few hours ago." Santana mumbled.
"-But what if I've forgotten something, or I haven't packed right?"
"You're fine."
"Are you sure?"
There was no hope of Santana falling back asleep, not with how much Brittany was talking, so she slowly opened her eyes, finding Brittany watching her intently.
"I went last year, remember? I know exactly what you're going to need."
Brittany scooted closer, obviously glad Santana had chosen to wake up.
"Was it fun?"
"Yeah actually." Santana yawned. "It was."
"What's it like?"
"Britt" Santana giggled. "I've already told you."
"Tell me again."
Santana sat up slightly, arching her back to stretch it out and settling against the headboard.
"It's at this place that…I don't know what it is exactly…Quinn and I thought it was probably built to be a cheerleading camp or something, because it has this huge gym, with padded floors and mats, and like dozens of trainers and coaches."
"Cool." Brittany breathed.
"Yeah. So we usually spend the morning there, till like one o'clock, then we're free for the rest of the day."
"What do you usually do during the day?"
"Lots of things. You can go swimming, you can play tennis, you can watch tv in the entertainment room. I remember there were loads of board games and skipping ropes, and sometimes they'd take us for bike rides or hikes along the trail next to the camp."
Brittany's eyes were wide with excitement. She sat up, crossing her legs and gripping her ankles.
"And where do we sleep?"
Santana fought back a smile. She had already told Brittany all of this, yet Brittany was as excited as if she was hearing it for the first time.
"There are cabins spread out around the grounds. Most of them have like, twelve kids in one cabin, but Coach somehow managed to sort it out so we were only six."
"Who did you share with last time."
"Quinn, Robyn, Erin, Kelsey and Bethany."
"Did you have fun?"
"Yeah." Santana nodded. "I hadn't been expecting to, but it was hard not to." She yawned again.
"Do you think we'll be in the same cabin?"
"Probably. Everyone typically gets put in rooms with girls in their grade, and last time Sue was pretty good at picking roommates."
"What if we're not?"
"Then we'll switch." Santana shrugged. Brittany grinned.
Brittany had a never ending sea of questions, which Santana happily answered. She didn't notice as light slowly filled the room and would have continued talking with Brittany had the alarm not gone off. She practically jumped out of her skin at the loud, intrusive sound.
Giggling, Brittany jumped off the bed and switched it off.
"It's time!" She squealed.
Having to actually get out of bed and be functional had Santana feeling just how little sleep she'd gotten. She yawned every thirty seconds as she got dresses, and could barely lift the suitcase she'd packed with all her things.
She just managed to get it upright when there was a knock on the door. Seconds later, Susan Pierce pocked her head through the door.
"Good morning girls!" She said happily, walking in fully. "I'm surprised to see you awake Santana."
"We've been awake for hours." Santana told her, glaring playfully at Brittany.
"Oh dear." Susan said. "Britt-bee didn't I tell you to make sure you got some sleep?"
"I did." Brittany said. "I just…woke up…"
Susan shook her head. "Poor Santana. Dear will you be alright?"
"Oh yeah" Santana nodded. "Don't worry about me, I'll just get a cup of coffee and be fine."
Susan frowned, but didn't respond to Santana's words. Santana had already heard several times from Susan how she disapproved of her drinking coffee at such a young age, but as Santana had no intention to stop, Susan had finally given up trying to convince her to. Santana usually didn't drink coffee when she slept over at Brittany, just because she could see how it bothered Brittany's parents when she did, but today she had to make an exception.
"Mum, can you help us take our bags downstairs?"
"You can't drag your suitcase?" Susan asked, playfully raising her eyebrow.
"I can." Brittany smirked. "But Santana…"
Santana gasped, pretending to be offended. Truth was she did need the help. Dragging it was fine, but she would need to carry it down the stairs, and she knew she wouldn't be able to do that even with a full night's sleep.
"I could always just push it down the stairs," she shrugged, "let gravity do its work."
"You'll do no such thing." Susan said, pointing a finger at her. "I'll get Pierce." She left the room.
Brittany finished tying her sweater around her waist, grinning.
"Ready?"
Brittany nodded, taking hold of her suitcase handle.
"We have to eat quickly so we get to school early. I want to get a good seat on the bus."
Santana barely made it an hour through the journey before she was fast asleep. Brittany let her lay her head in her lap, her legs curled up on the seat. It wasn't the most comfortable, but miles better than trying to sleep against the window.
She woke up to the commotion of kids getting off the bus.
"We're here." Brittany said.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" She sat up, seeing that most of their teammates were already getting their bags from the pile outside.
Brittany shrugged. "I did that once today already."
"Pierce, Lopez," One of the senior cheerleaders climbed back onto the bus. "Coach is assigning rooms."
Santana stood up stretching her arms over her head.
"Let's go make sure we're together."
There were dozens of school buses in the parking lot, with what must have been hundreds of boys and girls hauling around luggage or standing in groups around who Santana assumed were their coaches.
"Just like last year." She said.
Brittany was taking everything in with wide eyes, looking like a squirrel the way her eyes were darting all over the place.
"Come on." Santana linked their pinkies. "Coach is over there."
She led Brittany to a tree, under which Sue Sylvester was standing with her megaphone raised to her lips, calling out names from a clipboard. After every six names, one of the camp attendees would hand out a key to one of the girls and point them in the direction of their cabin. Santana heard a few girls from another school complaining about how unfair it was that McKinley got special treatment. She smirked, winking at them as they walked past.
"Pierce, Fabray, Harris, Taylor, Lee and Lopez."
Santana grinned at Brittany, tightening her hold on her pinkie.
"Told you" she whispered, as Quinn walked forward to get their key. "Bad luck we got stuck with Quinn though."
"I like Quinn."
"I'll never know why."
"Be back here in fifteen minutes." Coach Sue told them as the six girls separated from the group.
Santana was sweating by the time she deposited her suitcase at the foot of one of the beds. Brittany, who had been helping her tug it to the room, skipped happily to the bed next to it and dropped her backpack onto it.
"What exactly do you have in there Lopez?" Lilly asked, dropping onto the bed on Santana's other side.
"I like to be prepared." Santana said.
"For an apocalypse?" Monica laughed.
"And you wonder why I always look better than you."
Quinn chuckled. She, Monica and Kailey took the beds on the other side of the room, opposite Santana, Brittany and Lilly.
"This is nice." Kailey said, looking around the room. "I thought it would be like…old and moldy."
"As if coach would risk us getting sick from mold." Quinn scoffed.
"There's two bathrooms." Brittany said, walking out of one of the rooms. "One has a shower and one's just a toilet."
"Nice, so we don't have to get ready one at a time."
"There's a mini-fridge." Santana said, pointing to the corner of the room. Brittany and Kailey rushed over, opening the closet door to see as Santana had said, a mini-fridge.
"Nice. So we can store food."
"You don't need to." Quinn said, already beginning to unpack her bag. "We can get food from the cafeteria whenever we want to."
"What about at night?" Monica asked.
Brittany squealed. "This is going to be so much fun!" She jumped excitedly. "Just like a really long sleep over."
All the girls smiled, and Santana noticed that even Quinn couldn't hide how excited she was.
Three weeks in and Santana could safely say that this camp was infinitely more fun than last year, and she had no doubt why. Brittany. Last year, having to wake up at seven in the morning during summer was so painful for Santana that it took her till long after lunch to begin enjoying her day. She and Quinn would spend the entire morning cheer training complaining or groaning, or bitching at either the trainers or other cheerleaders, which Santana wouldn't exactly call fun. It was entertaining for sure, but not fun.
This year, Brittany woke up with so much energy and excitement every single day that it made it hard to be pissed off. She suggested they play music and sing while they get ready, which put everyone in a great mood by the time they were walking into the cafeteria for breakfast. Santana couldn't believe she hadn't thought of that last year.
The morning training sessions were also much better than last year. It had started off rocky, when a group of girls had teased Brittany who had just tried to start a conversation with them. Santana had gone on a long rampage, nearly slapping one of the girls, but Quinn had held her back.
"We'll get them another way." Quinn told her, trying to get her to calm down.
And get them they did. They turned everything into a competition. Everything. Jumps, flips, stands, formations. Everything the trainers had them practicing, they challenged those girls to see who could do it better. They won every time. The best part was when Brittany had managed to hold a handstand longer than everyone else. The look on those girls faces had Santana in a great mood for days.
Not everyone was as mean as those girls though. Brittany, Santana and Quinn had made friends with some cheerleaders from another school. They'd started talking while on one of the hikes, which Santana was only on because Brittany had begged her endlessly, and had been friends since.
After lunch one day, they left their new friends to head back to their cabin and change into their swimming costumes. It was getting hotter with each passing day, so much so that the kids could be found in the pool at least once a day.
"Are we going?" Quinn asked.
"What if Sue catches us?"
"What the hell would Sue be doing in the forest at night?" Santana laughed.
"She's weird."
"They're gonna think we're so lame if we don't go." Quinn said. "Too scared to break the rules."
"But is it worth it?" Brittany asked as she tied her hair up. "If we get in trouble…I mean we still have a few weeks left here. If Coach decides we aren't allowed to do any fun activities as punishment…"
"Brittany's right." Monica said. "We don't even really know these people…I don't think I want to spend an evening in the forest alone with them."
"What you think they're going to kill us?" Lily giggled. "Sneak up behind us and kidnap us?"
"Monica seriously, think about what the other girls will think when they find out what we did." Santana said. She handed Brittany her towel, slinging her own over her shoulder. "Think about the bragging rights."
"You just want to go because William will be there." Kailey, who had just emerged from the bathroom said, smirking at Santana. "He liiiikes you."
Santana shrugged cockily, crossing her arms over her chest as the others giggled.
"Of course he does. I'm hot."
"You wouldn't want to keep Santana from her potential boyfriend would you Monica?" Lily said. "She could totally get it on in the forest tonight."
Brittany turned wide eyed to Santana.
"What?" Santana asked her.
"You…You're going to kiss him?"
"Of course she's going to kiss him." Quinn said. "It's Santana we're talking about."
"Santana never misses an opportunity to wrap a boy around her finger." Kailey said.
Santana smirked, walking across the cabin to the door.
"If William and I find ourselves alone….Who knows what could happen?"
"What about Puck?" Monica asked.
Santana stopped walking, looking over shoulder. "What about him?"
The time had come. Everyone was in their cabins, including coach Sue, who had retired to her room at nine. Santana cautiously walked out of their cabin, making sure none of the other cheerios or any of the camp guides were out. She didn't hear or see anything.
"I think the coast is clear." She said, walking back into the cabin. "We can go now."
"Excellent." Lily said, jumping up from her bed. "I've taken the liberty of packing some snacks, just in case."
"How long do you think we're going to be there?" Monica asked. Lily shrugged.
"Do you think we should ask one of the boys to come with us?" Quinn asked, peering out of the window. "Just in case."
"I case what?" Santana walked to the bathroom, looking herself over one more time. Smoking hot, as always.
"I don't know…"
"Don't tell me Monica's convinced you we're going to be murdered." Kailey laughed.
"It's not stupid to be cautious." Quinn snapped.
Santana walked out of the bathroom prepared to tell Quinn she was freaking out over nothing, when she saw Brittany still sitting cross-legged on her bed, head bowed. She ignored the argument unfolding between the other girls and went to Brittany.
"Are you okay B?"
Brittany looked up.
"I don't know."
Santana climbed onto the bed.
"What's wrong?"
"I just feel kind of weird."
She was avoiding Santana's eyes, her fingers fidgeting with the blanket.
"Weird how?" Santana asked. "Like sick?"
Brittany shrugged one shoulder.
"Maybe…in my stomach."
"But you were fine all afternoon."
Brittany shrugged again. Santana ducked her head, trying to catch Brittany's eyes.
"Britt what-"
"Alright!" Quinn yelled. Santana looked at her. "We've wasted enough time, let's just go."
Santana looked back at Brittany, who somehow looked even more sullen.
"I'm not walking in front." Monica said, pushing Lily in front of her.
"Santana's boyfriend is the one who invited us. She should go first." They all looked at Santana.
"What are you two doing?" Quinn asked. "Let's go."
"I think we need a few more minutes, Brittany's not feeling well."
"Oh what's wrong Britt?" Kailey asked, walking forward.
"I don't know…"
"Could be a stomach bug or something." Santana said.
"So you're not coming?" Quinn asked, frowning.
"We just need a few minutes. She'll drink some water and we'll catch up with you."
"Are you sure?" Lili asked. "If she's not feeling well maybe we should stay-"
"No." Brittany said, shaking her head. "No you guys go, have fun. I'm sure I'll feel better in a bit anyway."
Santana nodded.
"Okay." Monica said. "In that case, Lily, you're leading us."
Santana and Brittany watched them leave. They were silent until they could no longer hear them whispering to each other, then Santana took Brittany's hands in her own.
"Brittany, tell me what's really wrong."
"I just feel w-"
"Weird yeah. What does that mean?"
Brittany finally looked at Santana, her eyes portraying how confused she was. Santana realised that 'weird' was really the best way Brittany could describe what she was feeling.
"Okay." She said, scooting forward slightly. "What are you feeling?"
Brittany licked her lips.
"There's this weird feeling in my stomach, like…like you know the feeling you get before a cheer competition?"
"Like you're nervous?"
"Yeah." Brittany nodded. "But those are usually good nerves. Like excitement mixed with a bit of anxious."
"Yeah?" Santana frowned, trying to follow what Brittany was saying. "And right now it's not good nerves?"
"No. It makes me feel sick. Like I might throw up."
"Did something cause them?"
She watched Brittany think for a second.
"I think…It started after dinner, when we were planning how to get to the forest without getting caught."
"Hhmm" Santana hummed. "So…are you scared?" She asked.
Brittany's eyes drifted down. She nodded slowly.
"Cause of what Monica said?" Santana tightened her hold on Brittany's hands. "B we're not going to die."
Brittany didn't say anything. Her thumbs ran softly over Santana's hand but she didn't speak.
"Besides I could never be attacked. I'm from Lima Heights adjacent." She said confidently. Brittany cracked a smile. "If anyone tried to mess with us I'd take them down. Easily."
Brittany giggled, and Santana felt herself smiling. She hated seeing Brittany sad, especially when she didn't know what was wrong.
"If you were scared to go, you should have just told me."
Brittany exhaled heavily. "You just seemed so excited to go see William. I didn't want to ruin that for you."
"Whatever." Santana shrugged. "I can talk to him tomorrow."
Brittany's eyes locked with hers again, an intense look in them.
"Do you like him?"
"He's cool."
Brittany was staring her down. Not blinking, not moving her eyes, just staring right into Santana's soul. Santana shifted uncomfortably and swallowed.
"I don't know." She answered more honestly. "I don't think so." Brittany finally blinked, and Santana felt like she could move. She let her gaze drift around the room. "I guess I like the attention."
Brittany nodded, looking away as well.
"Yeah…you don't really want to kiss him."
"What?" Santana sputtered. "Why do you say that?"
Brittany licked her lips, looking like she was debating something. She shook her head, looking down.
"I don't know."
"Yes you do."
"I don't know, I just say things sometimes you know?" She tried to pull her hands out of Santana's grip, but Santana held on.
"Brittany." She looked at her, a hint of panic in her eyes. Santana frowned. "I know that everything you say, you say for a reason."
Brittany swallowed hard.
"Why do you think I didn't want to kiss him?"
"I just…" Brittany tried to pull her hands away again, but gave up quickly as Santana's grip remained strong. "I just know you."
"You've never seen me kiss anyone."
"No…" Brittany admitted. "But I think I know how you look when you want to kiss someone…"
Santana's frown deepened, then panic shot through her, from her stomach to her heart, doubling her heart rate. The way Brittany was looking at her, like she knew a huge secret Santana had been badly trying to keep, had her finally letting go of Brittany's hands.
How did Brittany know that she'd thought about kissing her? Could she really tell just from the look in Santana's eyes? And if she could, did that mean other people could as well?
Now that her hands were free, Brittany pulled them into her lap, playing with her fingers.
"I never saw that look when you looked at him."
Santana shook her head.
"That's…" she was trying hard to think of something to say. "You…how do you even know I have a look." She looked pointedly at Brittany.
"Because it's the same look I get." Brittany said quietly. "At least I think it is…."
Just like that, Santana stopped panicking. Brittany knew the look because she knew the feeling. Did that mean…she searched Brittany's eyes, for the first time allowing herself to actually see what she was thinking. Did that mean Brittany had thought about kissing her as well? Did Santana want Brittany to have thought about kissing her? Wouldn't that mean Brittany was gay? How could she want Brittany to be gay.
Brittany licked her lips, and Santana's eyes flicked down to watch. Her heart was racing for an entirely different reason now. Her mind was racing as well as she raised her eyes back to Brittany's. Now that she was allowing herself to see it, she recognised the look Brittany was giving her. How long had Brittany been looking at her like that? How long had Brittany been thinking about kissing her? But what would she have done if she'd realised sooner? For months she'd been telling herself off every time she caught herself staring at Brittany's lips, or during their sleepovers when she'd be lying next to Brittany, picturing herself leaning forward and kissing her softly. What would she have done if she knew Brittany wanted it? Would she have kissed her?
"I think I was feeling sick because I didn't want you to kiss William tonight." Brittany said. Santana blinked, realising they'd been staring at each other for an unnatural amount of time. She cleared her throat.
"Yeah well, I probably shouldn't be kissing some random guy in the forest."
She was finding it hard to keep her eyes of Brittany's lips. Did people usually lick their lips this often or was Brittany doing it on purpose?
"Do you still want to go join the others?" Brittany asked. Her voice was barely a whisper. Santana felt her head shake. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her blood rushing in her ears. Her mind was in chaos, with conflicting thoughts running through it. She had no idea what to do, no idea what she wanted to do. No idea what Brittany wanted her to do.
Was Brittany leaning forward?
Santana jumped as she felt warm skin beneath her hands, only to realise that she was the one who had placed her hand on Brittany's crossed legs, just above her knees. She looked down at her hands, wondering for a second if she should remove them, but Brittany hadn't said anything about it, and truthfully she didn't want to.
Was she leaning forward now as well?
This was wrong. A voice in her head screamed. This was weird, and wrong, and if anyone saw them their names would definitely be down for a daily slushie as soon as they were back at school. She couldn't kiss Brittany. Brittany was her best friend. Brittany was a girl. Kissing your best friend who was a girl was not normal behaviour, and it was definitely not the behaviour of someone who wanted to be head cheerleader. Quinn would never kiss a girl.
No, Santana had to stop this.
But then she felt Brittany's breath against her face. She was breathing hard, like she couldn't catch her breath, and Santana's resolve crumbled.
No one would know. No one was here to see them, and she and Brittany would certainly never tell. She could just do it once, to see how it felt. It would probably be gross, and then she could stop looking at Brittany's lips while slept.
Just once.
The second her lips touched Brittany's, the chaos in her mind went silent. All she could hear was her and Brittany's breathing. Brittany's lips were smaller than hers, and so, so soft. So far, this was not gross at all. Just as she was beginning to panic, since she had no idea what to do, Brittany moved. She pulled back just slightly, then she was leaning back in, this time with her head tilted to the side. Her lips enveloped Santana's bottom one, and Santana felt her heart stop. This was so much better than the first one.
How could it keep getting better?
The next time Brittany pulled back, Santana was the one to move back in. This time she parted her own lips, catching Brittany's top lip between them. And then she felt Brittany tongue swipe at her bottom lip, and felt electricity shoot through her whole body.
She jumped back, nearly falling completely off the bed.
"What the hell?" Santana snapped, climbing off the bed to stand near it and wiping furiously at her lips.
Brittany was blinking rapidly, looking like she was trying to focus.
"Brittany why would you kiss me?"
"I…" Brittany stared at her with wide eyes. "I…you kissed me."
"No I didn't." Santana said furiously. "I wouldn't kiss you Brittany I'm not a lesbian."
Brittany's brow creased. Her shoulders dropped. Her gaze turned down.
"Brittany I asked you a question, why would you do that?"
"I don't know."
Santana wiped her mouth again. "Girls don't kiss girls okay? It's weird and creepy and gross."
"You thought that was gross?" Brittany's lip trembled, her voice cracked, and Santana's anger was instantly replaced by guilt.
As the first tear rolled down Brittany's cheek, Santana climbed back onto the bed, this time sitting beside her and wrapping her arm around her shoulder.
"It's just….it's not normal that's all. Girls are supposed to kiss boys. Kissing each other…it's not right."
Brittany leaned heavily against her, wiping her tears.
"It didn't feel wrong to me." She whimpered. "Does that mean I'm a lesbian?"
"No." Santana shook her head. "You're not a lesbian. Lesbians…they like wear flannel shirts and a tone of eye liner and like…play gold and stuff."
"Oh." Brittany still sounded confused, so Santana pulled her closer.
"We just did that cause…." She cast around the room for a reason. "Cause we're best friends."
"Best friends kiss?"
"Best friends do everything together, right?"
Brittany nodded. "Right."
"So….if there are some things you don't want to do with your best friend, are you really best friends?"
Brittany frowned. "I guess not."
"Exactly."
Brittany pulled away, and Santana was glad to see the tears had stopped.
"So we just proved that we're the best of best friends?"
"Yes. But we can never do it again okay?"
"Because we're not lesbians."
"Exactly."
"Okay." Brittany nodded. "I guess that makes sense…"
"And we can't tell anyone either. Not your parents or Quinn or anybody."
"Okay. It's just for us."
Santana relaxed. She had no idea why she had felt compelled to kiss Brittany, or why she had actually liked it….did she like it? Or did she just not hate it? Either way, it wasn't the reaction she had been expecting, and it confused her deeply. But she was at least glad that her friendship with Brittany hadn't changed. That was something she knew she could never handle. Losing Brittany.
"B." She said seriously. Brittany looked at her. "You know we'll always be best friends right?" Brittany smiled. "You're my favourite person."
"Me too."
"If something ever happened, to us you know? Like you got mad at me and didn't want to be my friend anymore-"
"That could never happen." Brittany said quickly. "I'll always want to be your friend Santana."
"You can't know that." Santana said sadly. "I might do something to hurt you, like just now-"
"But I still want to be your friend."
"But just…let's say you got really mad-"
"I could never get so mad that I don't want to be your friend-"
"Brittany I'm serious." Santana raised her voice. "I'm serious."
Brittany sighed.
"Okay…" she took Santana's hand. "Then you'll just have to remind me that as mad as I am, you and I are friends forever, so I have to forgive you."
"How will I do that?"
Brittany bit her lip, thinking. "It has to be something that proves our friendship." She said thoughtfully.
"What about…" Santana averted her eyes. "What we just did."
Brittany cocked her head. "What?"
"You know…"
"Kissing?"
Santana cringed. "Why do you have to say it, we both know what I'm talking about."
"Sorry."
Santana took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
"Yeah…it's proof that we're best friends…like real best friends."
"Yeah." Brittany grinned. "So if something ever happens and we're mad at each other something, we jus thave to remember the time we kiss-"
"No, no!" Santana hissed. "Stop saying it."
"What do I say then?"
"Just…we'll just say, remember cheer camp."
"Okay but we'll have cheer camp again next year and the year after that."
"I'm sure we'll both remember what we're talking about." Santana said, fighting a smile.
End of flashback!
Santana heard the door sliding open, seconds before Sophia came into view, hair disheveled and still looking sleepy.
"Hi mija." She grinned up at her. "Come here, come here." She opened her arms for Sophia to fall into. "Oh happy birthday my love!"
"Thanks." Sophia sighed into her chest.
"How does it feel to finally be ten?"
"Great." Sophia giggled. "I'm double digits now."
"You are. Don't say that around mama, it'll make her cry."
"Why?"
"She's sad you're all growing up so fast."
"Fast?" Sophia laughed. "Mami it's taken ten years to get here."
Santana giggled. "Okay Miss smarty pants." She flicked her hand. "It might have been ten years but it doesn't feel like it to us."
Sophia was quiet for a moment. Santana played with one of Sophia's French braids, content to sit in the silence.
"It's not really been ten years."
"What do you mean?" Santana asked. "Are you saying you're one of those biologically enhanced mutants that age faster than normal? Cause that would explain a lot."
Sophia didn't laugh. "No." She sat up and looked at Santana. "I mean…you haven't been there….with me...all the ten years."
Santana's smile faded slowly. "Yeah." She guided Sophia to lie back down on her chest. "That's true."
"I wish you were. I wish I came from you."
Santana's heart clenched painfully.
"Me too baby." She bent down and kissed Sophia's head. "But you are mine, you know that don't you?"
Sophia nodded.
"I love you."
"I love you too mami."
They stayed cuddled up together until the caterer arrived.