Author's Notes

By the way, the tl;drs are meant to be comedic, not an actual summary of the chapter. They're more like the best single joke I could come up with that comprehensively encompasses most of the plot of the chapter.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!

Chapter 5 – Come And Break Your Bones With Me

In which Jaune Arc dodges class and doesn't read from the textbook.

It was the first day of classes, and Jaune was ready. He'd gotten some early morning training in beforehand with his team, mostly consisting of general workout stuff like pushups and light jogging just to get warmed up, followed by a brief once-over of their weapons and tactics.

Nora used a hammer named Magnhild that converted into a grenade launcher. Never before had Jaune seen a person so beautifully matched with a weapon that complemented their personality. Nora was blunt and heavy, and so was Magnhild. Jaune had briefly gotten a chance to hold the hammer when Nora passed it around after mistaking their training for show-and-tell, and he could barely even feel his muscles after holding up that lump of solid weight for just five seconds.

Ren's dual knife-gun things were pretty cool, too. He'd demonstrated their capabilities by chopping down a tree in 2.5 seconds using nothing but the rapid-fire ammunition stored within. This was a feat most impressive to Jaune, who'd only ever seen revolvers that shot about three rounds per second at their top speed. Again, they matched their wielder – simple but extraordinarily effective.

Like Jaune, Perry didn't rely on fancy gimmicks, Dust-enhanced bulletfire, or any mech-shifting. His gloves weren't hunter weapons in the traditional sense, not in the same way that the things like Magnhild and Crescent Rose were. Those weapons were custom made by their wielder for the explicit purpose of fighting Grimm. Perry's gloves were commercially bought and factory made, though he had gradually built some tricks into them over the years. For instance, he'd laced them a thin layer of permanently embedded Rock Dust to pack a bit of an extra punch, and Jaune was pretty sure that the brass bits on the end of the knuckles weren't part of the original manufacturer's design.

When Jaune pulled out Crocea Mors, they had all oohed and aahed over his sword and shield. When he showed them that his sheath could instantly convert into a defensive shield with the flick of a switch, they'd been even more impressed, with Nora even lightly clapping. As the praise and adulation came, for a brief second Jaune had felt like one of them.

Like a huntsman.

The feeling was intoxicating.

"…can begin. Mr. Lie, Miss Xiao-Long, please come to the front of the room," called Professor Goodwitch. Jaune only became aware that she had been speaking when the familiar name of his teammate was called. Crap, I hope she wasn't saying important before that.

"I zonked out," he whispered to Nora. "What's going on here?"

"Don't worry. That happens to me all the time. Okay, so we're in a mystical fantasy world called Remnant, and ten thousand years ago, long before the age of man, a pair of uncaring gods cursed a woman named Sal–"

"No, I mean in class. What did Goodwitch say?"

"Oh, that? We're doing spars."

Jaune watched Ren get into a fighting stance down in front of them. "A-Are they gonna call everyone?" If so, he was in trouble. He hadn't been expecting to be fighting this early. The current plan to overcome his aura dysfunction was to charter a flight to Vale and get the first huntsman or huntress he could track down to unlock his. If spars were a regular thing, he wasn't entirely sure that he would be able to keep up the ruse for a full week.

"Nah, I think that she said we only have time for two or three today."

Jaune breathed out a sigh of relief. All he needed to do was stay hidden for four more days, then, and the worst would be in the rear view mirror.

"But those who didn't get picked will go first tomorrow, and then the next day, and then–"

"Silence, please," Goodwitch politely requested. Jaune would've felt embarrassed, but half of the class was whispering to the other half as the two combatants stared down one another, so Goodwitch probably hadn't been singling him and Nora out. "You may begin when both of you are ready."

"Thanks," he whispered to Nora, even quieter than before.

"No prob, boss. Feel free to test me on the material anytime. I promise I'll be up to snuff." Nora saluted with crossed eyes and a stuck-out tongue. Jaune refocused his attention on the fight.

Yang cocked her hands, and Jaune then realized that her gauntlets actually had barrels sticking out of the ends. Is everyone's weapon some kind of epic transmorphing toy except mine and Perry's?

"Let's dance, pretty boy."

Ren responded by flipping…

Jaune rubbed his eyes.

…triple back flipping through the air to put some distance between himself and Yang, then sprinting at inhuman speeds in a circle around her. Lifting his submachine guns towards her, he flipped up the knives and pulled both triggers at the same time.

Jaune flinched at the sudden use of lethal force employed by his teammate. He hadn't expected there to have been a shooting on the first day of school, but no one else was panicking and calling the police on Ren, so Jaune figured that they must've known something he didn't.

This suspicion was confirmed less than a second later, as the hailfire of bullets simply bounced off of Yang's face. She didn't even bother to dodge them; they literally ricocheted off her forehead. Some of them even went into her eyes – she'd swatted at them when they did, but that had seemed more like an involuntary reflex rather than a defensive countermeasure.

Is this the power of aura? They're invincible! There's no way I can get in the ring with one of those monsters; I can't take a single bullet to the face, let alone an entire StormFlower's worth.

Unfortunately for Yang, the intense heat and friction caused by Ren's sustained salvo of fire must've been enough to light her hair on fire. I guess that was his strategy. The bullets won't hurt her with the magic powers she's got, but the laws of physics still apply.

Yang cracked her knuckles, and the fire exploded across her entire body.

Or not.

"Mr. Ren, excellent tactical decision on your part to stick to ranged against a more physically formidable opponent. Please bear in mind that when your opponent allows you to land a free attack, it is most likely not truly a free attack. Ms. Xiao-Long, I advise you not to over-rely on your semblance. There may come a time when it will fail you."

Ren had tried his best, but his opponent was a walking warhead that packed a megaton payload. Jaune finally understood the meaning of the phrase blonde bombshell.

Jaune did his best to pat Ren on the back and console him over the loss as he returned from the single most action packed, mind blowing, absolutely insane fight scene that put modern CGI to shame.

"Y-You did your best."

Ren nodded and sat back down without saying a word. Perry said some equally encouraging words, and Nora made a silly face, but Jaune had already checked out. His mind was still reeling from the fact that he'd signed himself up to die a gruesome death at the hands of godlike teenagers with built-in force field generators and hidden superpowers.

I think I'd rather be outed as a fraud than get my brains scattered onto the students sitting in the splash zone. If I get called up, I'll admit it and take the punishment. No amount of humiliation and shame is worth my life.

"For our next match…Mr. Winchester and Mr. Arc."

As his teammates' and classmate's eager eyes landed on Jaune, he suddenly realized that admitting the truth was a lot easier said than done.

"Um, professor? W-Would it be okay if I sat this one out?" he asked. "I…uh…I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Maybe next time?"

"Very well," Goodwitch said, with a lot less resistance than Jaune had been expected. "But please be prepared to go first in tomorrow's class. Ms. Schnee, you shall be Mr. Winchester's opponent in this match."

"Hopefully she won't wuss out at the sight of a real man," muttered Cardin from behind Jaune.

It was definitely a blow to Jaune's pride to have to skip out on his first real match, and on the first day of class no less, but the real blow to Jaune's pride would have been Cardin's three-foot long, fifty pound mace. And by pride, Jaune meant continued state of breathing. And by real blow, he meant definitive, guaranteed death and dismemberment.

"Don't worry, Jauney!"

Nora slammed a palm onto his back, knocking the wind out of him. She'd probably hit him with enough force to shatter a car window, and it all went straight into Jaune's spine.

"Ren'll make you some pancakes tomorrow, and you won't be hungry then! Trust me, they're soooooo good!"

"C-Can't wait," Jaune rasped.

"You really do sound sick," said Perry. "Sure you ain't caught a bug?"

He wanted to say that Nora had just slapped the living daylights out of him, but the words couldn't escape his lips. All he could manage was eking out, "Bug?"

"This sorta thing tends to happen when a bunch of people get crammed into close quarter dorm rooms and all share the same utensils and dining areas. Everyone'd go down with what felt like the black plague itself the very second we set sail back when I was in the navy," he explained.

"I don't think it's contagious," Jaune said. Unless we discover an outbreak of Norfluenza Hittushardivirus microbes.

A loud noise from within the fighting ring pulled him out of his painful misery, and Jaune saw Cardin laying waste to the arena with mighty blow after blow. It didn't look like he had superhuman strength just from his outward appearance, but every time he smashed that mace into the floor, the solid planks of wood split like toothpicks.

It's not them, Jaune realized. It's me. Nora was just patting me on the back like one hunter would another. I'm just so flimsy, and they're so strong. Even casual gestures can beat me up.

If Jaune had his aura, like he was supposed to, he would've just protected himself with that, and maybe even dished out a superstrength noogie or something in retaliation to Nora's affection. But he didn't have aura, and that meant that her playful love tap had nearly paralyzed him from the waist down.

They all could kill me without even meaning to. I'm like a paper mâché huntsman surrounded by real people. Let's just pray that Ren doesn't affectionately elbow me in the ribs with a knife to catch my attention, or Ruby doesn't decide I'm her partner in an impromptu game of catch the scythe.

The weekend couldn't come soon enough.

At least there was only one class that involved live combat scenarios. Professor Port's history classes were a good chance for Jaune to quietly open up his scroll and skim through the Grimm codex on the Beacon Hunter App. The jolly old man seemed nice enough, and his stories were interesting in a grotesque, bizarre sort of way, the way you couldn't tear your eyes away from a crashed airship wreck, but Jaune needed to learn everything he could about the Grimm before he faced one for real. After all, they weren't going to call a time out just because Jaune faked feeling sick.

He was tempted to catch some sleep in Doctor 'Don't Call Me Professor' Oobleck's history class, especially after waking up so early this morning, but it wasn't worth it when his life was on the line. Maybe, just maybe, some kernel of knowledge was hidden in the seemingly useless knowledge about battles fought hundreds of years ago. After all, why would Beacon even bother teaching this stuff if it weren't relevant to hunting?

The odds that the day one history lecture would contain a history of aura and how to survive without it was slim, but maybe he'd mention something that Jaune could use. A tactic, a strategy, a way to cancel it out – Jaune would take whatever he could get. Unfortunately, Faunus night vision wasn't in the cards no matter how hard he wished for it.

"…and that, dear students, is why Fort Castle was able to repel the invading forces with such ease. Now, are there any among you who can tell me of the leading fighters who spearheaded the Faunus militia's counterattack and decimated the human forces? Go on, raise those hands, don't be shy."

Cardin, who sat in the row directly in front of Jaune, tilted his chair back, raised his hand, and spoke before the teacher even called on him. "I got one. Lassie. Oh, and marching behind her were Fido and Rover."

Doctor Oobleck stopped speeding around the room and turned to look straight at Cardin. "If you could please refrain from such comments, Mr. Winchester, I'd be ever so grateful."

Jaune noticed that Perry didn't even react to Cardin's casual racism. Somehow, the fact that he was so inured to it actually seemed worse than if he had flinched or frowned or at least somehow reacted. Faunus weren't common in Ansel, but Jaune's mother had always taught him to respect all the people he met, regardless of how many ears or horns or flippers they had. It was an easy lesson, one that anyone with even half a brain could understand. I guess that explains why Cardin's hasn't got it down yet.

"I know the actual answer, Professor," said Ren. "Pend Uthers and Yseng Rennard led the Faunus armies to victory, resulting in a crushing defeat for the human forces."

"Excellent! Quite right, though he mustn't forget the contributions of another key combatant who lead the civilian population of the surrounding villages away from the battlefield to safety. It is said that even though Mordrimur Gawayn did not participate in the primary fight itself, he was as instrumental in thinning down the human army's numbers as his more famous compatriots. Now, can anyone please tell me how the Faunus benefited from this turning point in the war."

"They got a bunch of treats for being such good boys," whispered Cardin, too low for Doctor Oobleck to hear.

It was too much – Cardin's blatant rudeness, his teammate's silent acceptance as though this were a normal thing, and the fact that the jerk was going to get away with it unpunished? Too much.

Jaune decided that he could at least change that last bit. Without even thinking about the consequences, he kicked the back of Cardin's chair.

"HEY!"

"Ah, Mister Winchester. Have you an answer? A proper one, this time?"

"I – he – n-no. I don't know." Cardin threw a quick glance over his shoulder directly at Jaune. "Though I would be willing to bet that what they got next was exactly what they deserved." The pencil he held in his hand that hadn't yet been used snapped as Cardin squeezed down on it.

"That's twice you've interrupted without contributing to this discussion. Please see me after class, young man."

Cardin's mouth stayed shut, but his eyes said enough as he glared behind him.

Hope it was worth it.

Jaune gulped. So did he.

So, he survived the first day of class, but now he was a dead man walking. Great start to the term.

Goodwitch didn't assign homework beyond expecting general improvement, Port had barely managed to even broach the topic of assignments as he rambled, and Oobleck had told them all to read up on the Battle of Fort Castle and prepare an analysis of both side's strengths and weaknesses by Monday of next week. Jaune absolutely needed to free up his weekend, so he was currently hunched over the textbook trying to absorb as much knowledge as he could.

Ren, as expected, was another studious member of the team, whereas Nora was happily distracting herself by listening to music from her headphones. Perry hadn't yet returned to their dorm room.

Assuming that he survived whatever Cardin had in store for him – and Jaune could tell that it was going to be hairy; he had plenty of experience being bullied – he would also need to think of a way to not immediately die the second he was called up in combat class, and somehow find the lien to bribe a hunter into unlocking his aura. The week ahead of him was a busy one.

Even if I get aura, that's not going to be the cure-all for every problem I have. It would only put me at the same level as every primary combat school entrant. I'll have a ticket to the starting line, but I'll still be last in the race. Is there any way I can also somehow speed up my training…?

Never mind. I need to focus on one thing at a time, or I'll be overwhelmed.

Jaune forced himself to drag his eyes back to the mind-numbingly academic textbook. He got that battle strategy was important, and there was no doubt in his mind that the Faunus Wars were important, but he just couldn't find himself getting into the ancient history. Like, if they made a funny 'oversimplified' RemnTube video of the topics or an action-packed movie about the events, he might find himself retaining the material. Reading line after line, date after date, name after name from a book with only barebones black and white sketches and simplistic landmark-based maps was just plain boring.

A knock came from the door. Desperate to distract himself from yet another factoid about the army sizes that he'd never use, Jaune stood up before Ren could and rushed to the door.

"Perry! Welcome back. Everything good?"

"Yeah." The Faunus nodded at Jaune and entered the room, plugging his scroll in to charge. "Just had to make a call at the CCT. Personal stuff."

"Adulting and all that jazz?" asked Nora.

"That about sums it up. Jaune, you mind if we have a word outside?"

"Uh…sure!" Jaune happily left behind the boring textbook to join Perry in the hallway. "What's up?"

It was in Jaune's best interests to be on good terms with the big guy. Perry seemed like the most reasonable of his teammates, or at least the most understandable. Perhaps it was because they were both Valean natives, or perhaps it was because they just weren't crazy weird. He still wasn't entirely sure what to make of his two human teammates. Upon initially seeing them, he'd assumed that they were a couple, given the way Nora and Ren gravitated towards one another as though they were interstellar bodies. However, Nora vehemently had denied this, and Ren didn't seem all that hurt by her rejection or refusal or whatever it was. Jaune thought that she was kind of cute, but he wasn't sure he wanted to interject himself in the middle of whatever lover's quarrel they were having until he knew for sure what it was.

Perry cleared his throat and frowned. Jaune refocused his attention on the conversation in front of him.

"You seem like a nice enough guy, so I just wanna say – don't go fighting my battles for me or nuthin' like that. I know you messed with Cardin because of me, and I don't want you to do it again."

"I–"

"I'm not mad. Lots of younger folk are more idealistic and want to fight the good fight, and I'm proud to be partnered up with one of them, but Cardin's now got his eyes on you, and his boys'll be watching our team. You might be standing up for the Faunus as a whole, but this Faunus…" He gestured to himself. "…you made his life a whole lot worse. I already stick out like a sore thumb cause I'm the 'old man' to most students. I don't want to also be the old Faunus man on top of that."

Jaune hadn't even thought of it at the time, but Perry was probably right. He'd been trying to play the part of a hero, but he hadn't really considered the consequences through. Now, not only was his own safety in jeopardy, but Perry's as well, potentially. Sky already had gotten into a scrape with Perry, and now Team Cardinal had even more reason to target the Junipers.

"I'm really sorry, man. I'll try to think things through more in the future."

"S'okay. I just don't want you to go charging in to defend my honor or something when I don't even really need you to." Perry chuckled mirthlessly. "How pathetic am I? Asking a kid to not fight my battles because I've already given up…anyways, let's go back inside."

Jaune wanted to say something to raise up Perry's spirits, to point out that it was likely his experience that had made him wiser towards the way the world worked, but Perry was already stepping past him with a nod and going back into the room.

"So, what's everybody up to? You kids busy dyeing your hair and sticking needles into your arms?"

Ren shook his head without turning around. "While I cannot speak to on behalf of Jaune and Nora, I personally do not partake in such behavior."

Perry raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I wasn't bein' seri– jeez, tough crowd." He peeked over Ren's shoulder and got an eyeful of the textbook. "The good old Faunus R.R., eh? Do yourselves a favor and don't read that sanitized garbage that the schools buy in bulk. If you want to learn about what actually happened and what actually mattered, I'd recommend A Time to Run, A Time to Fight by Rennard."

That name sounded familiar to Jaune. "Wasn't he one of the guys who fought in the battle? They mentioned him in class."

"Good memory. It's an autobiographical recollection of the battle. Classrooms can't definitively verify the stuff in it, so they don't like assigning it as required reading, but most passed down firsthand tales back up the bulk of everything inside, and I personally got the feeling that the author wasn't a liar from how he writes. It's available in Beacon's libraries as a supplemental text."

"Have you read it?" asked Nora.

"Read it? I own a copy! Faunus rights are kind of an important thing to me, even if I don't do as much as I should to fight for them." Under his breath, he added, "Though I don't really see no good ways to do that, these days."

"Does it at least have pictures?" asked Jaune. "I can barely keep my eyes open after reading fifty pages of plain text in the book Oobleck gave us."

"Most modern copies have illustrations," said Perry, trying to hide a snicker. Jaune couldn't care – he would gladly play the part of a short-attention-span child if it meant he could put down what he'd been reading.

"Then I'm sold," Jaune said, tossing his textbook onto the bed with disdain.

"I think I'll stick to the textbooks for now," said Ren.

"Aw, I wanna read the storybook." Nora pouted and shook Ren's shoulder, which garnered no response. "You're no fun, Renny. Jauney, let's go the library and find a copy of Some Time to…uh…No Time to Die?"

"A Time to Run, A Time to Fight," clarified Perry, who'd given up on holding in his laughter as he took of his jacket and pulled up the news on his scroll. "You young whippersnappers have fun on yer library date."

As Jaune and Nora left the others, Perry called out, "Don't stay out too late. And if you do, remember to use protection. I don't wanna be a grandpa."

It hadn't taken the duo long to find the book, and it hadn't taken them long to be fully enraptured by its spell. Jaune found everything he was looking for within it – a detailed description of historical events wrapped up neatly in an actual narrative-based story. It was like the Brother Gods had heard Jaune's prayers to find an easier way to study and sent him an angel in the form of Perry.

I'll have to remember to thank him when I go back. Maybe he'll have some sort of storybook that can teach me chemistry and plant studies, too.

Nora seemed happy just to be able to read about knights and fights, regardless of the educational content. "Whoa! It says here that Gawayn's semblance was to increase or decrease the gravity around him! Isn't that so cool?"

"It is," Jaune found himself agreeing. "Man, I'd die to have superpowers…"

Nora looked up, and the weight of what he'd just openly admitted aloud hit him like a bullet train.

"Wait, that – I didn't –"

"It's fine, Jaune," Nora said, looking back down into her book with a smile. "Not everyone figures out their semblance early."

"F-Figures out…yeah."

"I mean, if I hadn't been climbing trees so much as a kid, I'd probably still be confused about mine. Ren has so many rules and safety precautions for me that I don't think I would've even gotten a static shock if he had his way." Nora looked away for a second. "But that's the thing – a little danger can be a good thing, in small quantities."

Climbing trees? Static shock? Is that how I figure out my semblance?

"What…uh, if it's not to personal, that is…exactly is your superpower, Nora?"

"My semblance? I eat electrons and spit out muscles."

"O-Oh. That's oddly specific, but I suppose I see how it could–"

She stuck out her tongue. "Not literally, silly! It was a metaphor. Electrical shocks make me stronger."

"Huh. Does that come up much in a fight? I mean, unless there's a thunderstorm–"

Nora's face developed a look so strange that it suddenly made Jaune shut up. Looking around the library surreptitiously, she put a finger to her lips. Jaune nodded and repeated the motion. The universal language of teenagers who often made trouble conveyed the message clearly: whatever she was about to tell him was hush-hush.

Nora reached into her shoe and pulled out a long purple rod with a rounded top. She winked at him.

Jaune, recognizing the shape and…function…of such an object, frantically gestured for her to put it back. "N-Nora, there's a time and a place. Maybe not in the library – a-and not in our dorm either, unless you've double checked that me and the guys are all gone, and we aren't coming back for…uh, however long that sort of thing takes."

"Awwww. But it's so much fun, and it make me feel good."

Oh Dust, she's serious. Why did she even tell me this? How does it relate to semblances?

"And now for a demonstration," Nora said.

"DON–don't!" Jaune looked around again, but there was still no one there. Switching to a whisper, he said, "We could get in so much trouble if you do that in public!"

"You sound like Renny! Rules rules rules – well, guess what? I make my own rules, and when no one else can do it for me, sometimes a girl has to make do by herself!"

Nora flicked off the top of the 'object,' revealing…two metal prongs? Then, she placed it onto her arm, just above the elbow.

I…I didn't know that was how girls…w-wow. The Valean public school system really has failed me when it comes to sex ed.

Then electricity sparked off of it, and Nora began to shake up and down in her seat.

"A taser? It though it was a…"

"A-A-A w-w-w-h-h-h-a-a-a-t-t-t?" Nora asked through her vibration.

"A…never mind. You carry that on your person? Isn't it kind of dangerous?"

"Not for me," said Nora, taking the taser away from her skin. "It can't hurt me cuz of my semblance, so there's no chance of an enemy using it against me or me accidentally hurting myself. For me, it's a boost, and against others, it's a free extra weapon. Win win!"

"How strong does it–"

He hadn't even finished the sentence when Nora stoop up, wrapped her arms around a ten foot tall, thirty foot long bookshelf loaded with dusty old tomes, and raised it into the air.

"That strong."

She set down the shelf with a loud thud, causing Jaune to briefly be raised into the air out of his chair by the impact before falling back down a second later.

I gotta get me one of those – a taser and a semblance, that is. Take your pick, Jaune.

Nora suddenly hurried back into her seat, picked up her book, and motioned for Jaune to do the same.

"W–"

"C'mon," she growl-whispered. "Duuuude!"

Jaune lifted up his book and flipped to a random page, unsure of why this sudden urge to study had arisen. A moment later, his question was answered.

"Was that you?" said a librarian, their hair flustered and their glasses lopsided.

"Was what who?" asked Nora innocently. "We're just two kids reading our books. See?" Nora turned the book to the librarian so that he could see it.

"O-Okay. I'm sorry for bothering you. Carry on."

Nora smiled sweetly, then turned back to Jaune when the adult was gone. Another wink, and she buried her nose back into the book.

Jaune rolled his eyes at her childish antics, but he had–

"GOTCHA!"

The librarian burst out from around the same bookshelf he'd left behind. Upon seeing the two students still sitting quietly, he flushed.

"Sir, please, we're trying to read," said Nora. "This is a library."

"I…you…no one else in the…"

"Wait, do you mean to say that the loud thud just a minute ago was YOU?" Nora accused. "Mr. Librarian, that was quite unprofessional of you. I have half a mind to report you to the headmaster. Maybe my team leader…" She nodded her head to Jaune. "…who just so happens to be his close personal friend, can do it."

"I-It's you! The newspaper guy, Jaune Art!"

"Arc," Jaune said. A grin spread across his face as his eyes met Nora's. He quickly held it back and adopted a look of disapproval. "And my dear teammate is right, you're being very distracting. What exactly is your name, young man? Ozpin will be interested to hear which member of his staff is slacking off and playing pranks on us hardworking hunters-in-training."

Calling the librarian a young man was weird, but Nora's mischievous spirit had infected Jaune, and he couldn't help but play along.

"I'm so sorry, I sincerely meant no harm! Please don't report me! I'll…I'll…I'll let you check out any books you want and return then whenever you please! No late fees!"

Jaune shook his head. "Bribery, too. So many crimes, and the first day of school hasn't even ended formally yet. Nora, see if you can grab a notepad. We need to start making a list."

tl;dr Jaune doesn't meet any aardvarks (yet)

Next Chapter: I Put My Armor On, Show You How Weak I Am

In which Jaune Arc suits up and is beat up.

Author's Notes

Back to the quintessential comedy that makes this fic.

Posting once a week is so weird. I really hate seeing the view count drop to practically nothing after three days, but I can't budge here. With K having less than 20 chapters left, I need to make sure my already written works don't run out before I finish writing the next ones.

Also, forgot to say it before, but I don't own RWBY or any of the…

Actually, you know what? Maybe – Maybe I do own RWBY.

…yeah. Yeah, to heck with it, I do own RWBY! Fight me, RoosterTeeth!

(it joke, plz no sue)

Happy rats, and don't do crime!