A. N. : Today's existentialism-lite has been brought to you by Sokka ! On a sillier note, as a Reborn fan, the fact that we are starting the "swordsman" arc on chapter 80 is extremely satisfying to me. And it wasn't even planned, it just sort of happened.
Sokka feels small.
He already felt small earlier, when watching the stars fall from the sky, like the heavens were telling him you don't matter, nothing does, and it was weird and scary and beautiful. Like next to the sky and the million stars, nothing means anything, not even the War or the fate of the world, because the sky is eternal even if the stars fall or the moon dies.
He misses Yue too, a bit.
But the small Sokka felt earlier was, well, maybe not a good kind of small, but it was at least a normal one. Hell, even Jet shut up and looked humble at this.
Now Sokka just feels twelve years old again, unable to do anything but watch as the people he loves do great things. He can't stand with them. Can't do any magic, can barely fight, can't protect them the way Dad asked him to. All he can do is stand next to Jet, hold Momo, and look as the others put the fire out.
Maybe Jet feels small too. He doesn't even have his swords, he's just as useless as Sokka. The thought doesn't really bring any comfort, though.
Even so, Sokka asks Jet if he's not feeling too useless here. Maybe because he doesn't want to be alone. Maybe because arguing would make him forget about how small he is. Or maybe just because he still doesn't like Jet, who knows ?
But Jet doesn't give a sarcastic answer on how Sokka is one to talk. Instead, he keeps on looking at the fire, entirely too tense, like the flames are some kind of wild monster that he wants to slaughter. Which is probably actually the case, now that Sokka thinks about it. It's getting worrying – will he have to punch some sense into Jet's head ?
Not that he's opposed to the idea, oh no – but then Jet turns his face away from what little embers are left, breathes, and –
And he says that, well, there's no dam around to douse the flames here, is there, and Sokka is going to kill him, would kill him right now – no, not kill, not if he can avoid it, killing feels horrible – if Jet didn't add a quiet it's probably for the best.
Sokka doesn't know how to react to that. Jet just implied he would do this shit again if given the occasion. Jet also implied he doesn't want to do this shit again. Which is incredibly contradictory and makes no sense at all. Like he somehow can't control himself, can't stop himself from literally murdering people. But if that was the truth, they would be drowning in corpses right now. Jet hasn't killed anyone yet.
Hell, Zuko wasn't kidding when he talked about issues.
Not that Sokka feels sorry for Jet's weird contradictions, no, he's still an asshole and him struggling not to kill kind of makes things worse. But if Jet wants to be stopped – if Sokka has to stop him someday –
Sokka won't be able to do it.
Last time, the only thing he could do was warn the villagers and hope for the best. Sure, he was prepared to fight if he had to, but even back then he didn't hold any illusions – Jet is a better fighter than him. Jet has been fighting for years against soldiers, while Sokka was on his own in the village, playing pretend and telling himself he was a great warrior and building watchtowers.
If Jet snaps while Sokka is alone with him, or while the others are busy like right now, everything will go to hell and he won't be able to do a thing about it.
He should tell Zuko to keep his swords away from Jet – but if they have to fight – fuck, there's really no way to solve this –
In the end, with this just like with the rest, Sokka is useless.
Meat and sarcasm only go so far.