A. N. : Slight warning for emetophobia in this chapter. I don't usually issue these, but this I knw this is a common trigger so like, watch out. There's nothing too graphic though. Regarding this chapter's title, yellow is the color of the stomach chakra - in atla, it deals with willpower and is blocked by shame, both characteristics having their importance here. As for the problems on ffn that I talked about last chapter, well... honestly, I don't know. Ffn says they've solved the issue, but there have been a lot of bugs these days (mainly troubles with logging in), and it's not that I don't trust them but... yeah. I'd recommend prudence.

Sokka is going to stab himself.

The whole time during lunch, he was waiting for Master Piandao to decide the rainbow was simply too much and he was done with Sokka's antics. So of course Sokka filled himself with food like it would be the last time he'd ever eat – it probably is the last time he eats something that good in any case. Not only is Phat a butler and a very good warrior, but he also cooks divinely. This man is terrifying.

But now, not only is Sokka still training here through some miracle, he also ate way too much. And this exercise is another spar with Phat. Just stab him already, it would be faster.

How dumb was he to believe Master Piandao would feed him just before kicking him out ? Of course he was keeping Sokka for the afternoon !

Sokka really needs to do something about his tendency to anticipate the worst possible outcome every single time. Yes, sure, prepare for the worst and hope for the best and all that jam – but that's still terrible for his nerves. And his stomach. Sokka is desperately holding Phat at a distance, but if he takes a single hit, well –

Let's just. Not take a hit. That's the best option out there.

Right now, he still hasn't figured out how to get past Phat's defences, but at least he isn't getting struck every two second. It's not even that hard actually – he is younger and more nimble, and he has the determination to keep the contents of his stomach inside. It's a very ugly way to fight – so much for artistry and precision, Master Piandao must be weeping – but it works.

Jump. Parry and slide. Down. Step back – shit, that was close. Attack. Avoid the counter. Jump – ugh, all these jumps are kind of getting to him, not now stomach –

Master Piandao is calling him.

Scratch that, Master Piandao was setting him up and reminding him to always stay focused, and Sokka will remember that lesson – at least once he starts breathing again. Phat hit his plexus, the bastard, and Sokka's lungs have now ceased functioning and – ah, they're back. Oh, they're not the only thing coming back no no bad –

It's humiliating. And also a total waste of good food. Wait is that an actual entire dumpling no wonder Master Piandao looked at him weirdly during lunch. What the hell was he thinking ?

The truth, Sokka knows, is that he wasn't thinking. He was scared of losing his place, and he did the only thing he could do at the time. The truth is, Sokka is terrified of not being enough. Of failing. Of disappointing people. He's tired of being in charge, but he has to be, someone has to be and Dad asked him to.

Dad put him in charge, but Sokka never earned that place. And that's not how it's supposed to be, you can't be a warrior before going ice-dodging, you can't train people before being a warrior, that's not – not right. Not how things are done.

Sokka has to be good, because otherwise the right thing to do would be to replace him, and then Sokka will be nothing.

Master Piandao is crouching next to him, patting his back in comfort, and Sokka realizes he is crying. Just one more humiliation, he guesses – at this point he should really stop counting. At least he's pretty sure he didn't say anything that could've blown his cover.

Phat hands Sokka a cup of tea – just how long has he been crying on the floor exactly ? – and helps him up, before starting to clean up. Master Piandao says they will do another exercise instead, one that would help Sokka relax – next time you don't feel good you should tell us, he says like he's going to keep Sokka around until he figure out what Sokka can do, what his place is.

And Sokka really wants to believe that.