IM BACK. The story is back by the most demanded one out of all my fics. Dont worry, I had no intention of letting this die, I just needed a little break from it so i could get some fresh ideas. I have a couple ideas of where Im going with it - but thanks for being so patient and if you're still here reading, let me know :) If you're bored you could check out some of my other stories;
I Don't Know You Anymore
Everything After That
Hope Through Fire
Back In The Saddle
The High Value Of Boxed Pizza
Chapter 18
Fuming, Trevor stood at the front door of his apartment and took a few deep breaths. He had tried walking it off, but he was so angry and upset for his daughter that it was hard to suppress.
He opened the front door and let himself in, closing it quietly behind him. He needed a shower, he needed to relax and get rid of the fury that had over taken his ability to think clearly.
"Did you see her?" Trevor let his eyes fall shut as his daughter's voice sounded from behind him. He took a moment before turning to her to face her. She had all but met him at the door, her arms hanging by her sides, palms slightly upturned to the ceiling as she stared at him with a mixture of anxiety, concern and fear.
He hated that Sarah caused that feeling within his daughter.
"Yes, honey, I saw her," he replied gently.
Ava could see the tension in her father's face and wondered if she should push him for details. She could see he was stressed out and she knew that it hadn't been good.
"And?," she asked gingerly.
"We'll talk about it later, I actually really need to go upstairs to have a shower and get changed," he replied, about to set off toward the stairs.
"Dad… please," she whined in a voice that was unlike his daughter and he felt the pain spread throughout him. He didn't know what to tell her, he didn't know how he could explain that her mother was flat-out abandoning his sweet, angelic daughter for a fucking man.
He turned back to her, "Sweetheart, I don't know how to even talk about this without breaking your heart or causing you pain for something that you absolutely had nothing to do with… I need a minute to just process the argument I had with her," he told his daughter.
Ava's eyes filled with tears which she seemed to ignore. "I want to see her for myself."
"I think that's fair, but that won't be today, sweetie. I'm going to go have a shower, it's getting a little late so why don't you get ready for bed and we'll talk about it when I'm done."
"Okay," she accepted it. She turned her back and made her way back in to the living room where he was sure Olivia was with Noah too. He made his way upstairs and despite his earlier shower, he needed another —- just for some time on his own to think.
/
"Where's Dad?" Olivia asked when Ava returned.
She shrugged. "He didn't want to tell me anything…" she wiped her eyes. "I guess Mom just hates me that much that he had nothing nice to report."
"Ava, come and sit down, honey," Liv said softly, "I think your Dad probably just needs to decompress. He came straight home from a big drive and then he had to go straight out to see your Mom."
"I need to stop calling her that, you're it now. You're my Mom. I hope that doesn't scare you because you're stuck with me and I'm sorry for that."
Olivia smiled at her. "Firstly, I am okay with that and it doesn't scare me and if I'm stuck with you, I'm sorry to break it to you, my sweet, but you are therefore stuck with me," she smiled. "Let me go talk to your Dad, okay?"
She nodded. "Thanks."
Olivia kissed her forehead and got up, covering Noah over with a blanket. He had fallen asleep early and Olivia knew he would sleep the entire night through, he was exhausted and had had a late afternoon snack while they waited for Trevor to get home, she wasn't worried that he'd skipped dinner.
/
Olivia let herself in to the bathroom where she heard the shower running. "Hey…" she made her presence known. "Are you okay?"
"Not really…" he replied. He rubbed a circle of steam out of the way so he could see his girlfriend. I feel … angry and heartbroken for my kid."
"Want a cuddle?," she offered, unassuming and hesitant.
"Thanks Liv, but I think I just need a few minutes to collect myself and try to just… let go of my anger enough to be able to talk to Ava about what happened."
"Okay, we'll be downstairs whenever you're ready,"
"Thanks," he said again.
She left him alone —she understood that he needed space to cool down. She went back downstairs to meet Ava. She looked at her expectantly. "Honey, its fine, your Dad just needs to cool down, I don't know what happened but he needs to process and then I'm sure he will talk to you just like he promised."
Ava sighed and laid back on the couch. Olivia glanced over at her son. She thought about picking him up and taking him to bed, but the idea of carrying him up the stairs was too much for the moment. She felt antsy about what happened with Trevor when he went to meet Sarah and could only imagine what stupid things she said.
"I have a bad feeling…" Ava admitted. "I feel like Mom is gonna try to change the arrangement — like maybe she got jealous seeing you and I last night and to spite Dad, she's going to change things."
"Okay," Liv heard her, "and if that happens, babe, that's a grown up problem, and what you want matters the most and Dad will be listening and he will fight for whatever you want, so you really don't need to worry… here…" she placed a pillow down on her lap, "lay down, just try to relax, it'll be okay no matter what happens."
Ava sighed and rested her head in Olivia's lap. "You're the best Mom… I love you."
"I love you too, kiddo," Olivia replied, running her fingers through Ava's long, blond hair.
They watched TV in silence for a short while until Trevor appeared in the doorway. "Hey…" his voice trailed. Liv looked up, noticing the tension that filled his face. "I thought I asked you to get ready for bed…" there was an edge to his voice as he spoke to his daughter.
"Trev, its okay. I said she could come and relax here while she waited for you to have a shower," Liv intervened, cocking her head as if to tell him silently not to take his mood out on his daughter.
He took a deep breath and let it go. "I might go and take Noah up to bed," he opted "I'll just get myself a drink… and I'll come and sit with you guys."
He came in leaned over Olivia and kissed her lips gently. Ava went to sit up. He placed his hand on her shoulder and kissed the crown of her head. "I'm not upset with you, sweetheart, I'm mad at your Mom, okay?"
Ava nodded. "K…"
"Okay, I'll be back in a second." He made his way over and scooped Noah up. He squirmed a little and tried to shrug Trevor away.
Finally, Trevor softened. He smiled at the little boy in his arms and turned to Olivia and Ava and shared his brief reprieve of frustration. He went upstairs and placed Noah in his bed and tucked him in, kissing his forehead. "Night, bug…"
"Night Daddy," Noah murmured, rolling over to face the wall.
He felt his body relax at the honoured titled that Olivia's son had given him. It filled him with warmth and was an unspoken reminder not to lose sight of how much he loved both of the children and how deeply he wanted things to be better for Ava.
He descended the stairs with a little heaviness and made his way to the kitchen and made himself a drink. "Do you guys want anything? Liv?"
"Maybe a wine if you're getting something," she called back. Trevor made his way to the living room entrance and glanced at his daughter. "A wine for you, love," he smiled and turned to Ava, "what about you?"
"I'll have a wine too, Olivia and I shared a bottle from your cellar last night, I hope you don't mind…"
He smirked at her and shook his head.
"Yeah, I turned her in to a lush over night," Olivia replied rolling her eyes.
"Juice?" Trevor offered.
"Sure, thanks… I guess that'll have to do," Ava replied, glancing back at the TV. Trevor smiled as he watched Olivia go back to playing with his daughter's hair.
He went to the kitchen and prepared their drinks, taking them them back in. Ava was sitting up. He got comfortable beside his daughter and took a few sips of his whisky, his throat burned from the huge gulp he had in the kitchen as he was pouring it.
"Are we gonna talk, Dad?" Ava asked quietly.
Trevor nodded slowly. Olivia picked up the TV and muted it. "Do you want some privacy?" Liv asked, mostly directing it toward Trevor.
"No, it's okay," Trevor replied. He knew she would figure out that he needed her there for moral support. "So… your Mom is moving permanently to California…"
"Okay—" Ava replied slowly. "I don't want to go with her," she said quickly, "I want to stay with you and Liv."
"Its okay," he held up a hand gently, "you're not going anywhere, kiddo. You are staying with me."
"So why did she bother coming back?" Ava asked curiously, "couldn't she have put this in an email?"
Trevor couldn't help but to laugh at his daughter's cutting remark. "I've asked your mother to make a decision, she's in your life or she's out of your life — she's all in or not at all and honestly, sweetheart, this is far less about you than it is about her."
"But it feels like it's me."
"I know," Trevor replied with a sigh, "and it's a big ask of you to try to not blame yourself or wonder what you've done wrong, but both Olivia and I can promise you that you did nothing here."
"So she doesn't want me, she chose to not be in my life anymore…"
"She chose to make you and me the villain in her story to justify her behaviour, Ava, don't get it twisted. You could be the most well-behaved little robot and she would still make it a problem. You have always, always been the sweetest little girl. You've always been well-behaved, you've followed the rules, gone along with your Mom's needs to have a daughter who excels at everything — and you did it without complaint but you're growing up and you have your own thoughts and feelings and you are turning in to an amazing young woman and that's hard for your Mom because she doesn't have that strength and that courage that she sees in you…"
Ava wiped her eyes. "I want to see her before she goes back to California because I have things to say too."
"Okay," Trevor agreed with a nod, "that's fair, I will organise for you to see her, but after that honey, I'm filing legal paperwork because I don't want her to turn your life upside down anymore. She has run out of chances."
"Okay…" Ava whispered.
"We'll get through this together— and we are so lucky because we have Olivia and Noah now too."
"I know…" Ava murmured, "it just sucks that my Mom doesn't want me."
"Your Mom just wants other things and I know she is going to have regrets, sweetheart, but she's made her choice and I am so sorry that those plans don't include you."
"Its okay, I'd rather be here."
Trevor gave his daughter a warm hug and glanced up at Olivia. The tension in his body wasn't lost on her, nor was the look of sadness. He pulled away and kissed his daughter on the temple. "I love you and I'm sorry that this is a fight I can't win for you."
"Its okay, it's not your fault either."
"And Ava, I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you in whatever capacity you need me to be."
Ava turned to Liv and wrapped her arms around her too. "I just want you to be the Mom I never had…"
Olivia reciprocated her hug and felt Trevor inching in to hold them both. "That's fine with me," she replied. "I have already told you that. I can be Mom or Liv or whatever you like but I'm always gonna be here to parent you with Dad."
"Thanks, I love you guys…"
"We love you so much." Liv replied.
Ava pulled away from Liv and drew in a deep breath and let it out. "Can I say something with a swear word?," she asked her father not expecting him to take her seriously.
He reached over and wiped her cheek that was wet with tears. He almost said no. "Mmm, only because you have every right to be angry. This is an absolute one off — go on, get it out of your system;" he replied.
Ava glanced at her Dad and if in another scenario when she hadn't felt so abandoned. Armed with the power to say what she felt, she stared at him. "Fuck her," she said, emphasising her words, "fuck Sarah, I'm so fucking sick of trying to understand why she's doing what she's doing and justifying it in my head when the bottom line is that she's just a piece of shit and I'm so angry," her voice broke. "Fuck! Her!"
"Okay, okay…" Trevor said quietly, knowing she was about to break down. He folded her in to his arms and wasn't surprised when he felt her begin to sob. He caught Olivia wiping her eyes. She got up to go and take a second to collect herself.
"I was not expecting you to use the words of a sailor, sweetheart, Trevor managed, trying to find some humour, if I wasn't your father, I'd be impressed at your excellent expression and perfect use of all those f-words."
Ava managed to half-sob and half-laugh.
"We'll get through this honey," he said with seriousness, "I promise. We'll get through it and you have a Dad and a Mom who will never abandon you right here under one roof."
"I know…"
She pulled way and wiped her face.
"No more swearing, you are far too good at it."
She managed to laugh.
"So tomorrow, I was thinking," he began as Olivia came back in, "we might go look at a few apartments, what do you think, Liv?"
Olivia smiled. They had discussed it casually via text earlier in the morning.
"Really? To all move in together?," she pressed.
"Of course," Liv pitched in, "who else would we be looking for an apartment for?"
Ava smiled up at Liv who was about to take a seat. "There it is, there's that smile we love," she replied.
"I have an idea…" Olivia began, "I'll go make Dad some left-overs from dinner and maybe we can take a quick walk to blow off some steam, but you should go and get something warm on."
"Oh, you don't need to do that, I can get something myself, baby," he told Liv.
"No, its okay," she smiled, "you haven't eaten… and there's no school tomorrow so I think Ava can stay up a bit later."
"This is why I love you," Ava told her, "because Dad is a little bit more lenient on bed times when you're around."
Trevor smiled, "it's not as late as I thought it was, its okay, I went for a long walk after I saw Sarah…"
"We had chicken and toast potatoes and some vegetables and there's plenty of it left over, so… is that okay?" Liv asked him.
"Thanks baby," Trevor told her. He got up, "go get changed kiddo, get something warm on like Liv asked."
"Okay," Ava agreed.
Once she had disappeared Trevor took his empty whisky glass and followed Liv to the kitchen. "Need a hug?," she offered with a little smile.
"Fucking yes…" he replied with a sigh. Olivia watched him set his whisky glass down and take a step closer to him. She held her arms out and Trevor walked right in to them, so glad and so relieved that he had her to lean on. He felt her hugging him tightly. "I love you and I'm so sorry for what happened…"
"Its okay…" he murmured, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth and the comfort of her embrace. And she smelled good too. He relished the way she rubbed his back absently; she was perfect and she certainly soothed his anxieties for his daughter by just being there for him and Ava too.
He slowly put a little distance between them. "I love you so much," he declared, smoothing her hair, "I can't wait for us to all live together and I get to wake up with you every day and live our lives together."
Olivia smiled at him. "Me either…" she replied. "I feel like we haven't even had the chance to talk since you walked in the door."
"I know, there's a lot going on— but, how was your weekend so far?"
"Good," she replied, "Ava called me Mom a few times but even though I know it's what she wants, even she will have to adjust to it."
"And you?," he pressed, "are you feeling okay about that?"
"Yes," she answered, "especially after what I can only imagine was the most heartbreaking conversation you've ever had to have."
"Yeah it wasn't nice," he agreed.
"Why don't I take Ava to get some frozen yoghurt or go pick up something for dessert while you eat dinner, give you some extra time to breathe and decompress."
"Thanks Liv for understanding…"
"Of course… let me just get your dinner—"
"No, it's fine, I can do that… you just get something warm on too, it's cool out there tonight."
Olivia ignored him and opened the cupboard to get him a plate. He followed her and took it from her hands. "Olivia, I'm capable of getting my own food…"
"But… I like to take care of you," she replied, "it makes me feel like I'm being a good partner."
"I love you for all of your skills but your kitchen skills aren't at the top of my list of things that are important. Now, let me figure out my dinner."
She paused, letting him win. She turned around, cornered against the cupboards. Trevor leaned over and planted a soft kiss upon her lips. "I missed you this weekend," he told her quietly, his words felt upon her mouth before he kissed again, each one lingering as longer than the last.
"Mmmm," Liv softly moaned against him. He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer, kissing her that bit harder, tasting the wine on her tongue and relishing their physical intimacy after almost three days without her.
"Read- Oh, gross…" Ava remarked, turning her nose up.
Olivia turned her head, breaking the kiss, trying not to laugh. Trevor grinned at her, full-well knowing Ava couldn't see his face. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Love you," he replied, waiting for Olivia to look at him again.
"Love you too," she replied. She let him kiss her one more time briefly before threading past him.
He turned to Ava, "I was just telling Olivia that I missed her."
"Hard to talk when you have your tongue down her throat," Ava shrugged nonchalantly as she sat on the last step of the landing and pulled on a pair of shoes that Trevor had never seen. "Where did you get those shoes?" He asked, distracted.
"Liv bought them for me, we got matching ones."
He knew they were not cheap. "I hope you said thank you-"
"Trevor, butt-out." Olivia told him good-naturedly. She had her own version of the same shoes on. "Of course Ava said thank you, she's not a monster and you are her father."
He gave Olivia a hesitant look. "Its okay, really," she told him seriously. "We had fun shopping and we spent some money and guess what? I go back to work next week and I make more money, so it's fine."
"Okay," he sighed, "be careful…"
Olivia helped Ava up who was concerned she was about to witness a fight. She wasn't sure exactly how much the shoes cost, but she could imagine that a pair of brand new Nike mid tops were more than what Trevor would be willing to spend on shoes for her unless it was something she specifically asked for for her birthday.
She gave her a Dad a hug and left with Olivia, unsure of if they were actually going somewhere specific.
Once outside on the street, she turned to Liv. "Where are we headed?"
"I thought we could go get some frozen yoghurt or ice cream — it's up to you." She reached for Ava's hand.
"Froyo!," she replied, "is this because my biological Mom is a psychopath?"
Olivia was able to laugh, "No, it's because I like dessert and because exercise helps when you're feeling sad or anxious about something."
Ava took Liv's hand and leaned against her. "I feel kind of … numb. I just want her to get lost and stay out of my life… but I still feel weird if I call you Mom, like… it feels childish of me to want that."
"It's not childish, honey, I still want my Mom and I'm an adult. You're a kid, still, its okay to want the basic minimum of two parents who you love and can expect different things from in the relationship," she explained, "and I'm so sorry that Sarah has failed you… but I'm here and you know that and I will keep reminding you of that."
"That's what makes you an amazing Mom," Ava replied with a sigh. "Thanks…"
/
"Look…" Olivia showed Trevor her phone, "it got approved."
"Ohhhh!," he grinned, "fantastic! So now we should just go ahead and book tomorrow - they were holding the reservations til friday, so this is great," he replied.
"I am so excited to get away," she told him, "the kids are going to be over the moon."
"Me too," he smiled. "Let me call this morning and tell the travel agent to go ahead with the bookings and then maybe we can tell the kids at lunch time — I feel like they both need a bit of nice news," Trevor suggested.
"I agree," Olivia replied.
Trevor was in the bathroom getting changed, ready to go look at some apartments with Liv and the kids when he received a text.
It was from Sarah. He seethed at her name. He picked it up and shrugged his t-shirt over his shoulders before clicking in to it. "Hi, I've changed my mind and I'll sign your paperwork before I leave to go back to L.A. I can do it later today as I am going back tomorrow at lunch time."
Trevor shook his head at his phone. He figured he would tell her that Ava wanted to see her. He went downstairs to find his daughter. "Honey, do you still want to see Sarah?," he asked, holding on to his phone as Ava was pulling her shoes on and helping Noah tie up his sneakers.
She thought about it for a moment. "When?"
"Maybe this afternoon. She's going back to L.A tomorrow."
"Okay," she replied slowly. "Yeah, she doesn't get to leave without me saying what I want to say."
"That's fair. I will try to organise it." He lingered for a moment texting Sarah back.
"Fine, we can meet at 5pm. Same place as yesterday afternoon. Ava is coming with me because she would like to speak to you before you go and I'm going to need you to use your heart and treat her like your daughter, I don't give a shit if you need to fake it, but don't you dare make this already harder than it's going to be for her."
He hit send when another thought struck him.
"Once you sign these papers and decide to leave her behind, Sarah, you will never ever contact her again and you will never try to email her or visit her unless she is an adult and she contacts you first. That is part of the waiver of rights, because I am not going to allow you to play games with either of us. Make very sure this is what you want. If you decide its not, you're going to have to get a lot better at understanding who your daughter is and mending that relationship."
Almost immediately, he got a response.
"Fuck off Trevor, with your self-righteous bullshit."
He took a deep breath and found Olivia in the kitchen. "Help me not lose my fucking mind at this idiot…" he muttered, showing her the phone.
"Wow… that sure escalated," Olivia murmured, her eyes scanning the texts. "Take a deep breath and let it out. I don't want you swearing like Ava did last night."
She knew it would make him smile. She passed him the phone back gently. She put an arm around him as she watched him tap out his last reply. "Those are my terms, Sarah, agree to them or I will lodge the paperwork with the court and we can battle it out here in New York."
He put the phone down and hugged Liv tightly. "Okay, are you almost ready?," he asked her.
"Yeah, I'm just making up a little bag of snacks because Noah is acting like this is a road trip."
Trevor smiled. "I've just gotta go upstairs and change my pants and find something to swim in."
He went back upstairs leaving his phone on the counter. Olivia couldn't help but see Sarah's last message. "I'll be there. 5pm. I will see you and Ava then."
She locked the phone and finished putting together her bag of stuff for the kids.
/
"Mom," Ava began a little meekly from the backseat, almost embarrassed calling her that in front of her Dad, "is Noah allowed to watch Dance Moms with me?"
"No," Liv replied with a laugh, not missing the smile from Trevor. "Absolutely not, that show is rotten, I don't even think you should be watching it."
"Sorry Noah," Ava smiled at him. Noah pouted.
"Why don't you both watch something nice and not so….scandalous," Trevor suggested, turning on to the highway, pulling the sunglasses down over his face.
"Because I like to watch things that make me feel better about my life," Ava shot back. He could't help but feel a little hurt.
"Well, today I think you're going to feel good about your life. We've looked at the apartments and now we're on the way to the beach and we'll have lunch and discuss which apartments we liked and you guys can have a swim…"
Ava immediately felt bad for her comment. "Sorry Dad, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that when things feel a bit hard, I like to watch silly shows."
"Its okay," he smiled over his shoulder at her. Noah knew better than to ask questions. "Let's just watch Labyrinth again," Noah suggested. It was a movie that they both liked.
Ava turned it on without a word.
"Are you good?" Trevor asked a quiet Olivia.
"Yep, I sure am," she replied, "just enjoying the drive and listening to the kids chatting."
"Are you ready to swim?," he asked her, "cos I'm planning on having the most relaxing day." He was trying to be positive but he was anxious about how the meeting with Sarah and Ava would go.
"I think so… I'm excited about the other thing," she winked at him.
He grinned, "me too, if I'm honest. Maybe we should find somewhere nice for lunch first, what do you think?"
"Yeah, let's do that."
"Guys, we're gonna go for lunch first before a swim, so don't fill up on snacks," Trevor told both of the kids.
"What are we gonna have for lunch?," Noah asked, his interest piqued.
"I'm not sure yet, we'll have to wait til we get there and find out," Trevor replied. "Why don't you both play some car games instead of watching a movie."
"Yeah, that's a good idea, maybe we should all play," Olivia replied. She'd never really had a road trip experience with siblings or another partner she could have fun and be silly with and the last road trip with Noah, he had slept the entire way.
"Yeah! Let's play a game, what game can we play while we're driving?" Noah asked curiously, not fully understanding the concept of a car game.
"What about…." Trevor began, "we could play 'would you rather'," he said, "Ava and I played that a few times on a long trip, didn't we?"
"Yeah," she replied. Trevor knew that she thought she was just a little bit too old for it, but she was going along with it anyway for Noah's sake. She turned to the little boy who she considered to be her brother. "Dad will ask a question like, would you rather eat a hamburger or a hotdog and we will all answer, and then its your turn to ask, and we all get a turn — hopefully Dad's question will be less lame than that."
Olivia laughed, poking Trevor.
"Okay, I can't promise but I'll try," he laughed. He thought for a second, "are we ready? This one is an important question."
"Go, Daddy!" Noah urged him without flinching. Ava smiled to herself, happy that they were moving past the hurdles of parent names.
"So would you rather, get abducted by aliens and interrogated in space, or live in a haunted house? You can go first, Noah, then Ava, then Mom and then you can ask a question."
"I don't everrrr wanna see a ghost, I would be too scared, I think aliens would be cool. I wanna go to space."
"Me too," Ava agreed, "I have no time for ghosts, thanks."
Trevor laughed and turned to Liv who was smiling. "What about you? Are you a 'fraidy-cat too?," he teased.
"Absolutely, I don't mess with the beyond. Let's go to space. What about you? As if you want to see a ghost."
Trevor put his brake on and his stare lingered as they shared a smile. He started to laugh, "Yeah I think I'd prefer to go to space, I don't want to see a ghost either."
The kids began to tease and berate him for his answer after calling them scared. "It's Noah's turn!," he called over the top of them, the four laughing happily.
"Hmmm," Noah thought, stroking his chin and making Ava laugh. "My question is, would you rather having to sing everything for the rest of your life or not be able to speak for the rest of your life?"
"That's a really good one, Noah!" Olivia praised him, smiling. "I know I'd prefer you not to be able to speak for the rest of your life if you had to sing," she joked.
"Heeeey, Mom that's not nice!" Noah humphed. Ava laughed and agreed, "I've heard you sing Bug, it's not great… but I would miss your little voice, so I'd prefer to hear you sing than nothing at all."
Noah smiled at her and thanked her. "I think I'd prefer to sing too, that way I could annoy everyone for the rest of my life and I'd feel like that was a large achievement."
Trevor rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Liv?" He prompted.
"I think Ava, Noah and I could start a choir… I'd sing," she replied.
"Hmm well I think I'd prefer not to sing, instead I'd give everyone the stink eye so that they know how I'm feeling at all times."
"Typical, trying to be cranky Dad when you're really actually happy, smooshy Dad most of the time."
Trevor grinned at his daughter in the mirror. "Ok sweetie, your turn… I'm bracing myself."
"Oh, you should," Ava shot back, a card under her sleeve that she knew Noah would love. "Would you rather…." She looked at the little boy next to her and gave him a sly smile, "eat a plate of your own snot or have a bird poop in your mouth?"
"Ava-" Trevor warned her, "come on-"
Noah was giggling crazily. "One of us had to make this game interesting…" she couldn't help but to laugh.
"Bird poop," Olivia replied without flinching. "It'd be over and done with and I could spit it out. I can't deal with mucus. Gross."
Trevor's jaw fell open at the fact that Olivia was indulging the question. "I would pick neither because they are both disgusting."
"Oh, come on Trevor, it's just a game…" Olivia laughed, "don't be so precious. It's called would you rather, not would you do either…"
He sighed, listening to Noah and Ava's fits of childish laughter "Ok fine, the bird poop too, for the same reason. But that is a very gross question by the way."
"Bug, your turn, which would you rather?" Ava pushed him.
Noah burst in to another fit of giggles, "Mmm I'd pick snot. At least its my owwww-owwwwn!" He added in a sing-song voice.
Trevor and Olivia made faces. "Rancid," Ava replied. "I'd choose the bird poop too. For all the reasons Mom said."
Olivia felt a little bit of overwhelming joy each time Ava called her Mom. More than anything she wanted Sarah to have a change of heart and to embrace her daughter, but it honoured her that when her mother checked out, Ava saw in her what she truly needed in a female role-model; and that it came so naturally.
"Okay my turn," Liv "would you rather live without your phone or iPad or without TV and all the streaming services?"
"Without the phone, easy. I've lived without it before, I can do it again," Trevor replied.
"Mmmm that's a hard one, Mom," Noah complained, "I think TV."
"TV," Ava replied.
"I'd choose the phone, I would love if people couldn't contact me all day every day, I could plead ignorance and turn up to work only when my shifts are due to start," she laughed.
"That'd be nice, wouldn't it?," he smiled. It was no secret that he thought SVU took a lot and expected a lot from her. It was never an issue, but sometimes he worried about her abilities to sleep.
"Okay okay, why don't you kids play I-Spy or something—" Olivia suggested, knowing that the kids were going to make it as disgusting as they could.
"That's boring," Noah remarked. "I'd rather watch a movie."
"Yeah, let's watch the movie," Ava agreed, taking Noah's iPad from him and logging in to Disney for them.
Olivia rolled her eyes. "You guys are hopeless. When we get to the beach, we are taking away the technology — no phones, no iPads, nothing…" she told them.
"What if I want to take photos?" Ava asked, "that's not fair."
"Life's not fair," Trevor interjected, "and if you want to take pics you can use my phone or Liv's phone and give it straight back."
Ava knew better than to argue with her Dad. She simply turned the movie on and set the iPad up so both of them could see it and sat back.
/
"How's this?" Trevor asked with a big smile as they sat window-side of the restaurant where they could overlook the sea.
"It's so pretty!" Olivia grinned. She motioned for the kids to take their seat side by side while she and Trevor sat across from them. "What do you think, guys?"
"It's nice," Ava replied with a little smile. Noah grinned at the ocean. "I can't wait to swim, Mom," he told her.
"There will be time…" Olivia promised. "We're gonna have a nice lunch together because we want to talk about the apartments we looked at."
The waitress came and bought them water for the table and handed them some menus. "Let's choose our food first and then we can talk," Trevor suggested.
"I know what I want," Ava said immediate after scanning the menu, "could I please get the shrimp salad?"
"Sure," Trevor smiled as he scanned the menu himself. "I'm thinking the chicken caesar salad. Noah would you like some help choosing?"
Noah poured over the menu carefully before looking up at Trevor, "maybe, I don't know if I can have nuggets here, Daddy, its too fancy."
Olivia smiled, "there will be something you can eat, sweetheart, remember we talked about you trying new things sometimes."
"What about a cheeseburger?" Trevor asked, finding the kids menu, "you could have a cheeseburger and some fries — or there's spaghetti and meatballs…"
"I'll have the cheese burger please," Noah replied.
"I'm having the Waldorf salad," Olivia told Trevor, "and maybe a glass of pinot."
They ordered their food, Trevor wanting them to have enough time to discuss the apartments and the summer holiday and leave the kids plenty of time to horse around at the beach.
"Okay Mom and I really loved the last apartment we looked at," he told the kids, "it's close to school, your kids bedrooms will be the same size and you both have built-in closets."
"And I love that there is an indoor gym and pool downstairs. I could practice every morning before school," Ava added. "I like that apartment too. The living room is huge and I think the bedroom is bigger than mine now."
"I like that one too," Noah pitched in. "And Mom, it's closer to Tim!"
"I was expecting you guys to like the first one more," Trevor said with a laugh. "But, just because there is a pool and a gym, doesn't mean you're allowed to start obsessing over swimming and working out, honey," he told Ava, "because I still want you to have proper rest."
Ava tried not to roll her eyes. "What if I find swimming to be relaxing?"
"We'll discuss it," Trevor replied, "okay so if there's no objections, we will speak to the real-estate about taking the last apartment. When did she say it was available?," Trevor asked, turning to Liv.
"Early next month," she replied, taking Trevor's hand at the table. He laced his fingers through hers and smiled at her and then at the kids. "So are we doing this guys? Is everyone happy to move forward — for us all to live together?"
Noah and Ava exchanged smiles and nodded enthusiastically. "Yes…let's do it!" Ava said. "I'm so excited! Dad can we get some stuff for our rooms?"
"Hmmmm, I think we could talk about it," he smiled at the kids, "you guys have to be happy in your own space. I think Mom and I could put aside some money to help you both decorate a little. What do you think, Mommy?," he asked, glancing at Liv.
She smiled at him, "I think that that's a good idea, we'll make it a home for all of us - a nice fresh start."
"Yeah!" Noah grinned.
Their lunch arrived shortly after they began planning their move — checklists they'd need to make, packing both apartments to move to the bigger one and things the kids would be interested in getting for their new rooms.
"We have another surprise for you kids…" Olivia spoke up, stabbing her fork in to her salad casually.
Both of them looked up. "Oh my goodness, you're pregnant! That's why we got an extra room in that apartment."
Trevor and Olivia both laughed, "Not a chance, Ava, sorry to disappoint." Olivia replied, "we are a little past that stage in our lives, I'm afraid."
"Oh…"
"Good, I don't want a younger brother or sister, yuck! Tim's sister is so annoying," Noah wrinkled his face, "she cries and poops all day long."
Olivia laughed, "Noah, you love hanging out with Jesse and Billie, what are you talking about?," she pointed.
"Yeah, but I don't have to bring them home and live with them," he replied smartly.
"That's a very good point," Trevor remarked, amused. "Well rest-assured, there will be no babies, this is a different surprise. Mom managed to get some time off work this summer… and we're taking a holiday." He looked at Liv, "do you want to tell them where we are going?"
Both kids waited, hanging on to their every word. Olivia couldn't help but to be so filled up with joy at their family day together. "We are going to spend four weeks in Europe, you guys. We are going to go to Spain, Greece and France."
"What!" Ava exclaimed but then realised how loud she was. "What!" She hissed, "oh my gosh! Are you both kidding? Are you both serious?"
"We're serious." Olivia told them. "What about you, Noah? Are you excited?"
"I don't know where those places are?," he said, unsure.
"When we get home, we can show you pictures — but did you know that in Paris, they have Disney Land and we're going to make sure we spend a day or two there," Trevor old him.
"Ooooh, that sounds fun!"
"And Noah, Greece has the most amazing beaches and Croatia has water so clear you could see the bottom!," Ava told Noah.
He started to smile. "Is it a long way?"
"It's a big plane trip, but it'll be fine, you'll have your iPad and we can watch movies and listen to music— it'll be an adventure," Olivia told him.
"I wanna give you guys a hug, can I come around there for a hug?" Ava asked, dizzy with happiness.
Trevor laughed, "Sure baby…"
She got up and circled the table and gave her Dad a big, warm hug. He knew better than to ever turn down affection from his daughter. "Thank you for this, Dad, I love you."
"You're welcome, sweetheart, I think we all deserve the break."
She let go and moved over to Liv and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, best Mom ever, I love you so much!"
"Aww, I love you too, you guys are really welcome, Dad's right, we all need a nice, big fun break."
Ava went back to her seat. "Is it 100%?," she asked, "like is it booked?"
"Yep," Olivia replied with a smile, "Dad booked it this morning and we'll leave a week after school finishes. So, less than a month away," she added.
"That's so exciting!" Ava grinned.
"We're gonna give you both a list of things to do and you can choose a few activities," Olivia told them, "but we'll go through everything a little later," she looked at Noah who still looked a little unsure. "There will be lots of swimming and lots of beautiful beaches and boat rides, Noah, you're going to love it, I promise."
"Okay," he shrugged.
"Daddy will show you all the books and pictures of the places we'll go tonight."
"Okay," Noah agreed.
/
"How about here?" Liv asked, "this is a nice spot…" she suggested to the kids and Trevor.
"Here is good… let me set the umbrella up and you guys aren't going anywhere near that water until you have suncream on," he told the kids.
They set their towels up and sat down for a moment, waiting for Trevor. Ava dressed down to her one-piece bathers. "Come over here, sweetheart, I'll put some sun cream on your back and shoulders," Olivia told her.
She got up and sat herself in front of Olivia and waited for the smell of the suncream to hit her. She hated it. She hated the smell of it, the feel of it and the coldness of it. She visibly shivered as soon as it hit her skin. "Yuck," she murmured.
Olivia couldn't help but to smile. "This one doesn't have a scent," she remarked.
"I know, but it just feels slimy," Ava turned her nose up.
"Well, no sun cream, no water," Trevor interjected, "so you're gonna have to just deal with it."
"I know," Ava replied as Trevor put the umbrella up.
"Noah, come here, Bug, I'll help you with the sun cream."
Noah made his way to Trevor and let him help.
"Okay, now, you can go down to the water, but Noah, I want you to wait for one of us before you go in past your knees, okay?" Olivia warned him. "And Ava, please don't scare me by going out too far."
"I won't…"
"I don't want to go to the water on my own," Noah told Olivia once Trevor had finished with the sun cream.
"Its okay," Ava told him, turning back, "come on, come with me, I'll hold your hand, we can just get our feet and ankles wet."
He looked unsure. He didn't want to admit that he felt a little scared of the crashing waves. "I won't let anything happen to you, Bug, I promise." Ava gave him a little encouraging smile.
He reluctantly got up and reached for her hand.
Trevor lifted his shirt and patted a spot between his legs for Liv. "Come over here and let me put some sun cream on you, I'm not having you burn — the sun has some bite to it."
Olivia shimmied over on to Trevor's towel and lifted her t-shirt over her head. "Oooh you're wearing your two-piece today," he remarked happily. "I love this…" he ran his pointer finger over the strap on her shoulder.
"I'm feeling a little self-conscious but… it is what it is," she replied.
"You have absolutely no reason to feel self-conscious, I promise." She felt the squirt of lotion over her shoulders followed by Trevor's large hands kneading it in to her skin, slathering it all over her back while she watched the kids. Goosebumps rose upon her arms as he continued to spread the cream liberally over her shoulders and down her arms. He pushed down the straps of her bikini and made sure he covered all of her skin.
"That feels nice…" she remarked with a sigh.
"Yeah?" Trevor slowed his motions, noticing the effect his touch was having all over her skin. "Good…"
"I don't want it to feel too good, the kids are around," she chuckled.
He laughed. "So the holiday surprise went over well, but Noah seems a bit unsure still."
"I think he's at that age where he's a bit scared of the unknown. I haven't brought him to the beach in quite awhile and he's scared of the water too."
"Don't worry, I think he'll be fine. He just needs some confidence and assurance on both counts."
She realised he had finished rubbing in the sun scream and it was her turn to help him out.
/
Olivia walked slowly down to the water, self consciously adjusting her bathing suit, ignoring Trevor's playful wolf-whistle behind her. She was able to smile.
He watched Olivia join the kids at the shoreline. She took Noah's hand and reached out for Ava's too. They stepped in to the water. He couldn't hear what she was saying but she leaned down, reassuring Noah. Trevor got up and headed down with them.
"Cold?," he asked.
"No, it's nice!" Ava replied happily, letting go of Liv's hand and heading further in to the sea.
"Are you okay, Bug?" Trev asked, looking at Noah who held Olivia's arm with both of his hand, trying to pull bag.
Liv looked up, a little stressed out by her son's fear.
"Come on, hold on to me," he held his hands out to Noah, "I promise I won't let anything happen to you."
"I don't like the waves, I can't see how deep it is," he complained, his voice raising a little with fear.
"Well how about I stay one step in front so you can see how deep it is on me, but I'll hold your hands. Trust me, okay?"
Slowly he nodded. "Mom's right here too," he smiled at him. "Look at Ava," he nodded, "she's fine, the water isn't very deep."
"Okay," Noah relented slowly, releasing his tight grip on Trevor's arm. He grabbed both of Trevor's hands. Liv smiled at both of her boys. Trevor turned his back to the sea and stepped back slowly, one by one at Noah's pace. "There you go, Bug, you got it… see, not so scary, huh?"
Noah smiled cautiously. Olivia stepped in deeper alongside them, going a little further ahead to catch up with Ava. "Honey, please, not too deep," she called out to her. Ava jumped the waves, letting them crash against her chest happily.
She turned around and faced Olivia and grinned at her. "I'm fine, I promise!," she called back.
"Ava," Olivia warned her, "please humour me."
Ava dipped under the water and swam her way to Olivia, popping up just in front of her, splashing her with water, grinning mischievously. "You little brat," Liv laughed, wiping her forehead and cheek.
"Liv imagine when we're in Spain and if we go to somewhere like Mallorca and the beaches will be a thousand times more beautiful than this and we can just relax all day…" Ava gushed whimsically, "I can't wait."
"Mallorca seems like a great idea," Olivia agreed, "we're going to have a wonderful family holiday, sweetheart," she promised.
"I just have to get through seeing Sarah first— then I can put all of my attention on our holiday," she replied.
Olivia put an arm around her and gave her a squeeze. "Would it help if, when you get home we have something planned that you can look forward to?"
"Maybe," Ava replied. "Can we just hang out and have girl chat?"
Liv smiled, "Sure. I'll be waiting at home for you and Dad and you and I can hang out with snacks and finish off our girl weekend with smiles."
"Thanks Liv,"
They turned back to see Trevor and Noah finding their way to them. Trevor had picked up Noah who was too scared to be submerged deeper than his knees. "Why don't you pop down from Dad and I'll hold your hand too, there's absolutely nothing to be scared of, I promise."
The little boy looked unsure. "Its okay to be scared, but it's always good to face our fears," Trevor told him gently.
"Okay," he murmured.
Trevor placed him on sand beneath the water after a gentle wave broke. Olivia took his other hand and smiled down at him. "Bug, when you see a wave, you should jump and then Mom and Dad will hold you so it doesn't push you back — it'll be fun, I promise."
"Can you tell me when to jump?," he asked Ava.
"Of course," she smiled at him affectionately.
They played in the water with Noah until he felt a little more confident to take Ava's hand, trusting her not to let go or get too rough with him. Trevor grabbed Olivia and dragged her further out. Feeling a little confident with her very tall man, she went along with him, knowing he wouldn't let anything happen to her no more than Ava would let anything happen to Noah.
"Come here," Trevor wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her near. Olivia circled her arms around his neck and smiled lovingly at him. "You look so hot, all that water glistening off your skin," he chuckled, "very, very sexy…"
"Stop it," she felt her cheeks flushing. "That's embarrassing."
"Uh-uh, no its not… don't say my compliments are embarrassing, I mean them."
"Sorry," she replied, sheepish. "But… you on the other hand, you are sexy-" she was interrupted by a large wave that grew taller than her. Trevor grabbed her by the waist, as she jumped it, elevating her higher. He laughed as it crashed almost on top of them. Olivia had clamped her eyes shut, turning her head away from the wave. Once the water seemed to even out around them, she wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her by her backside and chuckled in spite of her wet hair and mouthful of salty water.
"I think we're a bit deep," she told him, hooking her ankles around the back of his thighs.
"I'm enjoying this closeness though," he smiled, holding her. He turned to make sure the kids were still within eyesight.
"Look at Ava, she's so disgusted," Olivia laughed. She waved at the teen who gave her a thumbs down. They both laughed.
"We're allowed to have a moment to ourselves, right?," he asked, "it's not stupid that I want to kiss you and don't care if my kids see?"
"I think it's actually kind of healthy, not like— making out on the couch or anything like the last incident, but kisses are okay, there's nothing wrong with having a healthy, home where two parents are in love with one another," she told him.
"Good," he leaned forward and kissed her lingeringly. "I don't want to feel like I can't touch you or kiss you when I need to, but sometimes I second guess the appropriateness."
"Don't. You're not silly, you know when to draw the line," she replied, letting go of his legs and pulling him back toward the kids toward the shore.
/
Trevor and Olivia sat on their towels, covered by the shade of the umbrella and watched the kids play in the sand and on the shoreline. Ava was showing Noah how to make the ultimate sand castle. "They really are a match made in heaven, these two kids… Noah adores her so much and she has such a huge amount of patience for him," Trevor remarked.
"I know… we must have done something right, raising these two beautiful, kind kids." Olivia replied, getting in close, Trevor put an arm around her. "What time do you think we should get going?" Liv asked.
"Maybe, I don't know, like 3? Ava will probably want to go home and have a shower and so will I…"
"How do you think its going to go?" She asked, resting her hand on his thigh.
"I don't know… I can't not let her see Sarah if it's what she wants but I am really anxious that Sarah is going to be cruel to her and I won't be able to handle that," he admitted.
"I told Ava that tonight when she gets home we can have girl time if that's what she needs — actually she asked me if we could do that."
"Good, she has something planned. The last thing I want her to do is to lock herself in her bedroom. What does girl time consist of?" He wondered.
"Probably some crap tv shows on her computer, I'll show her some travel brochures and I'll keep her busy with a travel list of places we can go to or see while we're away."
"Thanks…" he smiled, "you're the best Mom to my kid, I am so happy that she embraces you, Olivia, that actually makes me feel less stressed about Sarah."
"I'm always here for you both," she replied, "if Ava needs me, I will never turn her away. She's a special girl and she gets that specialness from her equally special Dad."
Trevor smiled faintly with adoration at Olivia. She pressed her lips against his and admired the slight curl to his hair from the dried sea water giving it a similar texture to her own.
"Weeelllll, can't sit here all day with this beautiful sunshine," she remarked, "I'm gonna go see what these kids are up to and maybe have another dip in the ocean."
"Okay," Trevor replied, "I'm gonna sit back here and take some pics of my family and admire my girlfriend's hot behind."
Olivia laughed as she got up, dusting some sand off her thighs. "Enjoy yourself," she couldn't help but to smartly quip.
"Oh, I will, don't you worry about that," he replied with a little chuckle, watching her head off down to the shore where the kids were building their castle in the damp sand.
/
"Wow, you and Ava are building such a cool castle!" Olivia exclaimed when she saw the details of it. Noah looked up happily at his Mom, shielding his eyes from the sun. "Do me a favour, can you run up to Dad and ask him to put some more suncream on your arms and face?"
"Aww but I-"
"No buts, Noah, I'll guard the castle," she told him firmly and looked at Ava, "you too, kiddo, go and get some suncream before you both burn."
Ava didn't argue, both of them jogged back up to Trevor for a re-application.
Olivia waited patiently for Noah to come right back again. "Thanks Noah, now you can keep going with your build."
"Mom are we gonna stay here all day?," he asked.
"No, it's too hot, we're gonna leave in about an hour or so, but you can still play until then."
Ava came back to join them, helping Noah find some shells to decorate the cute little castle they were both working on. "Are you gonna help, Mom?"
"Maybe in a second, Mom's gonna have a quick swim, I'm getting hot."
She looked up at Trevor and saw that he was true to his word, taking photos. He looked gorgeous, sitting shirtless on a towel beneath the umbrella — beach tousled hair, sunglasses perched upon his nose in a pair of swim shorts. He still made her breath catch at times, she hadn't grown complacent with him and often the sight of him engulfed her with a renewed sense of love for him.
He blew her a little kiss and she grinned at him before turning away and in to the surf. She waded in to her knees and waited to get used to the slight cold of the ocean. She made her way further in until she got to her waist. She waited for a wave and dove beneath it, resurfacing on the other side. She slicked her hair back and wiped the water from her face and repeated her action a few times until she was far enough out.
The water was a nice temperature for the heat that emanated from the sun. She turned to look back at the kids, Trevor getting up and coming down to the shore to survey their castle. Olivia swam for a little longer before letting the waves guide her back to the sand without much resistance.
"How was your swim?" Trevor asked curiously.
"Good," she replied, squeezing the water out of her hair. He stood with a smile watching her with his hands on his hips, his muscular body glistening from suncream he'd sloppily applied.
She couldn't help herself, she kicked water at him, splashing his entire front. He gasped with shock, his mouth fell open. "Liv!"
"What?," she asked with a cheeky grin, kicking water at him again, taking a few steps back, not wanting him to grab her.
"Do that again, I dare you," he rose an eyebrow, a little smile beginning to surface across his lips.
"Or you'll do what? Gasp and tell me off?," she taunted him.
"You'll see…"
Olivia took another step back and kicked as much water as she could at him.
"That's it!," he exclaimed, as the kids watched on, laughing as Trevor went after Olivia. She tried to run away, but she was knee-deep in water and were no match for his long legs.
She shrieked with protest as he caught up with her in no time at all. "I told you not to mess with me, Olivia benson!" He told her, as she slipped out of his grasp and made off across the shoreline, running a little faster as she got closer to the sand. Trevor was a little unprepared for her escape and almost fell. He centred himself and bolted after her- surprised by just how fast she could run.
Still, he caught up with her and picked her up. "I warned you!," she laughed breathlessly as he carried her back to the kids, walking her in to the water.
"Don't you dare throw me in the deep end, Trevor!," she laughed.
"Why should I show you mercy?," he asked with a big impish grin, "you didn't show me any, you had no regard for my dry pants and dry body — you just kicked sea water all over me!"
"Because you look hot when you're all wet," she replied softly, her lips upturning at the corners.
"Oh wow, you really know how to get yourself out of a tough situation, don't you?," she nodded slow, maintaining eye contact as he held her over the waist deep water. "You could kiss me if you wanted…"
"Mmmm, that seems like a prize not a punishment," he pretended to think it over before lowering his head to kiss her lips gently. He held her gaze for a moment before he let go of her and let her fall in to the water. He began to laugh at her ungraceful land but immediately grabbed her hand to help her up.
"Oh, Trevor Langan, that was a nasty trick!," she exclaimed, pulling his arm with both of her hands and taking him off guard until he fell down too, a wave crashing on him just as he hit the water. Olivia was back on her feet and laughing with satisfaction.
He resurfaced, flicking his wet hair and wiping the water from his green eyes, laughing. "Okay-okay, I deserved that. Truce?"
"Uhuh," Olivia agreed, "truce."
He took her hand and pulled her toward the shore. "Daddy you were mean to Mommy, you dropped her in the deep water," he pouted, "she could have got hurt."
"Noah, it's okay, it wasn't deep," Olivia told her son, "we were just being silly— no one's hurt…"
"Oh," Trevor began patiently, "Noah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but I promise I will never let anything bad happen to Mommy, cross my heart."
Noah looked to Ava who was smirking. "Yeah Dad, you should be more careful," she taunted him.
"Ava," Liv warned. "Honey, its okay, Daddy was being silly and so was I, we are grown up enough to play in the ocean and not get hurt, okay? There's no need to worry."
"Okay," Noah replied, "but don't do that to me, okay Dad?"
Trevor smiled, "I would never, Mom is such a good swimmer and she's taller than you, but soon enough you'll be swimming as good as Ava and Mom and you won't need to be scared of the ocean."
"I'm not scared," he quickly retorted, "I just don't like the way the sand moves under my feet."
"I think you'll love it once you feel confident swimming, Bug," Ava told him putting an arm around him. "Its okay if you are a little bit scared— I was a bit scared of the ocean when I was your age too, right Dad?"
"Right! Ava always had to old my hand or jump on my back — but I never let her go and I never let anything bad happen." He looked back at their castle. "How's your castle going? Do you guys need some help?"
"Yeah!" Noah smiled, running back over to it.
"I'm gonna go dry off," Liv announced, walking back up to their spot to sit down.
/
"Okay honey, I'm going to tell you something before we arrive, okay?"
Ava looked up at her Dad as they stopped just a block from the cafe where they were supposed to meet Sarah. His daughter was nervous and concerned, he could tell.
"What is it?"
"I want you to be so strong today, and if your Mom says something that you find really hurtful, I need you to remember that it's not about you, it is about her and her problems. You are not the problem here, okay?"
"But-"
"No," he shook his head, "No buts, this is not on you, Ava Langan, okay? Mom has a lot of problems right now and she is going to regret the day she left you behind but that's on her. We are getting her to sign these rights simply because I don't want her ever coming back and shaking you up. However, if you ever want to contact her or see her, know that I would never stop that. I need her to stop coming back when she feels like it and stirring up our lives, its not healthy."
"I know," Ava said, "I don't want her in my life unless she is going to be consistently kind and loving like you are."
Trevor gave her a hug. "I love you, Ava, regardless of what happens today, you will always be the most wonderful thing in my life."
She smiled at her Dad. "I love you too. I'll be strong."
/
Sarah was already sitting and waiting. She had her iPad in front of her and was tapping away at something, drinking a coffee from a takeaway cup. Trevor felt Ava slipping her hand in to his. He gave it a squeeze, feeling her leaning against him. "Its okay, sweetheart, just relax. I've got you," he murmured to her.
He made his way to Sarah and greeted her, knowing he had to keep things as civil as possible for his daughter's sake. "Hi Sarah, thanks for meeting us."
She glanced up, "Hi, hello Ava," she greeted her daughter.
"Hi Mom," she replied. Trevor pulled a seat out for his daughter and one out for himself as Sarah locked her iPad and put it aside.
"How's school?" Sarah asked her daughter.
"Good thanks, I changed schools last month. The new one is good."
Sarah glanced at Trevor, "You never told me you changed her school?"
"There's a lot you didn't tell me about Ava that would have been pertinent to our daughter, Sarah. I didn't really think you were that interested," he replied in a calm, even tone. He put the legal documents on the table. "This is the paperwork - feel free to go to through it, I've tabbed where you need to sign."
Sarah stared at Trevor long and hard before finally taking them and opening up the folder and slowly going through the pages.
Ava felt nervous - her mother's presence made her feel like she was unsure of what to expect - whether or not she was going to get a nice response from her, or a blunt, sterile version. It put her on edge."
"Do you want me to sign this?" Sarah asked Ava. "You know what your father is asking of me, right?"
She glanced at her mother, "You asked me not to contact you anymore, you said you didn't support my life choices, you don't want to hear from me, but then you keep turning up and making me feel bad and I don't want to feel bad anymore. I want you to just love me unconditionally or not at all."
Trevor put an arm around her, sensing her emotions.
"Ava," her mother tried again, "I love you, I may not love you the same way your father loves you but I love you enough to be honest with you and to tell you that this lifestyle — these attention seeking things you do, I can't be around it anymore."
"Stop-" Trevor told Sarah bluntly, "just stop. She's not attention seeking and I don't ever want you to tell her that she is. Your daughter is gay and there's nothing wrong with that."
"If you can't support me when I'm struggling, when I need help, when I am doing harmful things to my body because I'm hurting, then that's not love and you should probably sign the documents. You're going to California to get married to someone you met for half a minute — maybe I don't support that, maybe I love you enough to tell you that you're a bad mother and you've been a bad mother for a long time," Ava felt her eyes welling up. She stood up and pushed her chair back, "maybe you should have taken my scars seriously, or maybe you should have helped me deal with Rhiannon when all those girls turned on me, but you only care about you and you think Dad wasn't there for me or that he was only a parent when it suited him, but you're wrong, that was you. You were only ever there when it suited you!"
Sarah's mouth fell open in shock.
"Sign the documents! Go get married! I guess we both love one another enough to tell the truth, huh!?" She made air quotes on the word, truth. She turned to her father, "I'm going to wait outside." She turned back to her mother, "have a nice life."
/
Trevor walked back to the apartment with Ava. They didn't say a lot, he passed her a clean handkerchief from his pocket and let her cry. In his other arm he held the signed documents and hadn't waited for a single word from his ex-wife's mouth.
"You said how you feel, Ava, there's no shame in that, honey."
"I feel so guilty for it," she murmured, wiping her eyes. "I know I hurt her feelings."
Her sadness cut through him, the compassion that his daughter held within her was enviable. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "She's consistently hurt your feelings for the past 8 months, baby, you're allowed to say how you feel and if what you said is truly how you feel, then so be it. It might hurt her, but she might have needed some perspective and maybe you were the right one to give it to her."
"I just feel terrible. I wanted to feel relieved."
"I know," he murmured, "but I think you and I both understood that seeing Mom would be upsetting for you."
Ava nodded.
"When we get home, I think Olivia has something nice planned for you," he smiled, trying to make her feel better. "And then after dinner I'm going to go do some work while you guys have some girl time, she told me that that's what you wanted."
"Thanks Dad," she wiped her eyes again. "I love you too."
/
"Hey guys," Olivia greeted Trevor and Ava when they got inside. She wiped her hands on a dish towel and saw that Ava was a little bit of a mess. "Aww sweetheart, it's okay," she made a beeline for Ava and hugged her warmly.
Ava hugged her back for a moment and withdrew. "Honey, I've got dinner ready, okay? Why don't you take a seat and I'll get you a glass of water and dinner served."
"I'll help," Trevor replied, setting the legal files down.
"No, it's fine, I've got it. Do. You want to go get Noah for me? He's playing his Nintendo on the couch."
Olivia plated up the crumbed chicken for Noah with a healthy side of vegetables and some fries. For herself, Ava and Trevor, she put a piece of baked salmon with some sweet potato fries and vegetables. It was one of Ava's favourite dinners.
She served the plates to the table and got Ava a drink. "You okay?," she asked the teen.
"I think so," Ava nodded. "I'm just sad."
"I made your favourite for dinner," she placed the salmon down in front of her and the dressing that she enjoyed.
"Thanks Mom," she murmured, "I want to cry now because this is so nice of you to cook my favourite dinner," she half-laughed, half-sobbed.
Olivia laughed too. "Of course, honey, we knew it was going to be rough on you this afternoon, but we're going to end the day on a high, I promise."
"Sit up at the table, Bug, come on… Mom's put time in to making us dinner," Trevor encouraged Noah who was dilly-dallying about eating his dinner.
"Avaaaa, what's wrong?" Noah asked when he saw her red-splotchy face, still sniffling from her tears.
"Nothing, Bug, I just went with Dad to see my other Mom and it was a bit tough, but I'll be okay."
"Oh," he replied climbing up on his chair and sitting down as both Olivia and Trevor sat down too. Olivia watched how Ava would navigate her explanation, not wanting her to go in to too much detail. "You're not going to live with your other Mom, are you?," he asked, alarm washing over his face.
"No," she smiled, "I want to be right here with you and Dad and this Mom," she nodded toward Olivia felt her eyes welling up again.
"Good, but I don't like it when you cry," he told her, "do you want a hug?"
"No, Bug, it's okay, eat your dinner okay? Mom made us both our favourite food, so we better eat," Ava replied.
Trevor watched over Noah's bath time as he got ready to do some work in the office. Olivia was down the hall in the ensuite bathroom running a bath for Ava. Their tub was bigger and she decided it was a quieter place for the teen. She dropped a bath bomb in to the running water and made sure nothing inappropriate was laying around for her to see.
"Honey," Liv knocked on Ava's bedroom door.
She looked up from her phone. She had been texting with Rory until he'd called. They had chatted briefly before she asked to hang up to go back to texting, she'd found it easier to express herself than talking to him over the phone and it was hard knowing that he had feelings for her.
"I've got a little surprise for you, wanna come with me? Grab your pajamas and some underwear."
Ava rose her eyebrow. "Sounds weird-"
Olivia cocked her head and smiled, "just humour me, okay?"
She waited for Ava to do as she was told. She followed Olivia down the hall to her father's bedroom and in to the bathroom. "I know you love taking baths and I know today must have made you feel really wound up, so I've ran you a bath and there's a lavender bath bomb in there and a face mask right here…" she patted the little stand by the bath.
"Aww, I love you so much," Ava told Olivia, "thank you, this is the best."
"You're welcome, sweetheart," Olivia replied, "I'll close the door so you have some privacy. You can have your phone in here if you want some music or something."
"I'll be fine without my phone," Ava replied.
"Okay, I'll be downstairs when you're done."
/
Olivia made her way to Noah's room and smiled to see Trevor and Noah laying on the bed playing on the iPad. "I thought you were supposed to be working," she remarked, amused.
Trevor looked up, "I have time to play iPad for awhile with my boy before he goes to sleep, right Bug?"
Noah was grinning and she could tell he cherished the video game time with Trevor. "Yeah, Dad said it's boys time now."
"Fiiineeee, fiiiine," she lifted her hands. "Yell out when you're being tucked in so I can say goodnight."
"Okay Mommy," Noah replied. Olivia left them to it.
/
Olivia busied herself folding laundry and getting Noah's school clothes ready for the next day. She knew that after such an exciting weekend, he was going to be a grump to deal with in the morning. She understood, she also didn't want to go back to work either- it was a miracle no one had called or messaged her over the weekend.
She took the clothes upstairs, placing them on top of Noah's dresser and then to Ava's room to place her clean clothes on her bed and then to her own. "You okay in there, sweetie?," she called through the bathroom door.
"Yeah, you can come in…"
Olivia was surprised, expecting Ava to be weird about her privacy, but she was covered by a film of bubbles. "Are you sure you want me in here?" Olivia asked, trying to remain casual.
"You're like my Mom, but strangely, I'm more comfortable with you seeing me than I would be with Sarah," she added. "I mean—" she paused, "we're both girls- I'm sure you've seen worse."
"Its okay, sweetheart," Liv assured her, "you've got nothing I haven't seen. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
"Can you just stay and talk to me…" she asked quietly.
"Sure," Olivia moved the bath mat and sat beside her in the bathtub. "How are you feeling after seeing your Mom?"
"Mmmm… a little sad and I feel…" she paused, looking for the right word before turning to Liv, "I feel guilty because I told her off and stormed out and now I'm worried that I hurt her feelings."
"I understand how you feel, part of being a woman is always worrying about everyone else before you worry about yourself. Well, most of us, anyway. Your compassion is absolutely commendable, but you're a child, you don't need to feel guilty for being honest."
"She just told me that she loved me enough to be honest with me about my…" she paused again to make air quotes, "'lifestyle choices' so I told her that I loved her enough to tell her I thought that she was a bad mother and selfish and all the things I've been feeling and she looked hurt… and I felt bad but… I couldn't stop."
"Honey, you are 14, you are allowed to feel mad and you are allowed to say how you feel because she clearly said how she felt."
"Do you or Dad ever wish that I didn't like other girls? You an be honest," Ava probed Olivia who leaned against the bathtub.
"No honey, neither of us have ever said that or felt like that. We are honestly just invested in you feeling like home is a safe space and that you can come to either one of us at any time with any problem because we will always support you. We want you to be happy and if happiness is with a girl or a woman when you get older, than that's great— Noah might come home with a boy and that'd be totally fine for me too."
"This is why I love you and Dad so much…" she murmured with a sigh, "you're both just so cool and easy going."
"Do you know what it means to love someone unconditionally?" Liv asked gently.
"I think so… just love without conditions?" Ava offered.
Liv nodded. "It means as a Mom or a Dad, for the most part, typically there is no conditions on the love that we feel for our children. We don't ever say, 'we'll only love you if you do x thing,' it means that regardless of what path you take, who you love, what career you choose, if you get addicted to meth, if you have mental health issues, we will love you despite how hard things get and we will never turn our back on our kids… that's where your Dad and I are always eye-to-eye."
"You would love me even if I did meth?" Ava smirked.
Olivia laughed, "How'd I know you'd hang on to that? You are impossible," she told her but she was smiling and Ava was too.
"Thanks… that actually made me feel better. Do you really mind me calling you Mom?"
"No," Olivia answered honestly, "I like it. I like it because I love you and I feel like we connected very quickly and I care about you like I care about Noah and I feel like your Dad feels the same about my baby and we're all going to be family."
"I had the best day today with you guys and Noah. Noah is really the sweetest little boy I've ever met. I don't ever feel annoyed by him… he has taken the backseat lately because I've had a lot of stuff going on so I'm glad Dad took him camping. He deserved something just for him," she pointed out. "He told me he wants to have a sleep over with Tim here next weekend but he's too scared to ask, so can we make that happen? I'll even watch over them if you're working and Dad's busy doing other stuff."
Olivia smiled at Ava, "I'll talk to Dad about it… thanks honey, for saying all of that. He really adores you. You are the coolest person in his eyes…"
Ava laughed, "Well, you know… he's only human."
"You're funny," Liv remarked. "I'm going to leave you to it, sweetheart, I'm gonna go say goodnight to Noah and finish doing the dishes."
"You can wait on the dishes, I can help you," Ava opted, "I'm gonna get out soon, the water is not that hot now."
"Okay but you need to start getting ready for bed because I'm happy to come hang out with you til bed time, but you need to be well-rested and so do I for that matter. I am starting nightshift tomorrow."
"Ugh, I hate when you're on nightshift. Everyone gets grumpy."
Liv smiled, getting up from the floor. "I know, but it's gotta be done… at least I'll be able to see you guys off to school." She stretched her back, "Okay kiddo, I'm gonna go downstairs. Go find your Dad when you're done, give him a hug because I'm sure he needs it."
/
"My daughter seems happier," Trevor murmured to Olivia as she was getting ready for bed.
"Yeah, we had a nice talk… I think we just need to repeat ourselves until we are blue in the face if that's what she needs to hear so that she knows she wasn't in the wrong today.
Trevor smiled, "You should have seen her, Liv… it was a thing of beauty, she went off and Sarah deserved it all. It was rational anger and she used Sarah's own bullshit right back at her. Sarah was speechless. She signed the paperwork and left…"
"I think Ava had every right to have her say and I'm glad that she did. I won't say a word about Sarah because that's not fair of me. But I'm here. I'm ready to be Mom if necessary but I won't ever talk shit about Sarah."
"I know, and I do love that about you. You are incredibly respectful."
She kissed him softly. "Of course…"
He studied her for a few moments. "Thank you for the wonderful day. The kids had such a great time at the beach and leaning about Spain and everywhere else— I can't wait to move in with you and then go on this vacation."
"Me either," Liv replied, "but I'm a bit sad that Noah seemed ambivalent about the ocean, I thought he'd really love it. He loved it when he was little."
"Mmm maybe he's been exposed to TV shows where bad things happen at sea — its okay, the seas aren't as rough in Europe and there will be a lot of pool swimming for them both. I was wondering what you thought of taking a nanny with us?"
Olivia thought for a moment, "so we can have time alone?"
"Yeah… but I mean, we don't have to, it's a family trip."
"I know Ava would be really unhappy about that," she pointed out, "and I think Noah hardly gets to have uninterrupted time with me, that he'd be a bit upset too… but what about we take a trip somewhere romantic together when we get back? Like, maybe a few days in Hawaii or something?"
"Mmmm, I like the idea of getting uninterrupted time with you," he smiled, kissing her back. Repeating his kisses again and again as if he had no self control. He loved kissing those warm lips. He let the last one linger before pulling away and slowly opening his eyes.
"I love spending time uninterrupted with you too…" she murmured quietly, her eyes held his. She used to find his stare disarming but after time she could only feel herself getting lost in it. She didn't mind him knowing her soul or making her feel as though he truly saw her. In fact, their ability to truly understand each other was what made their relationship work.
"I'm gonna miss you this week when you're on nights."
"Me too, nights really wreck me," she admitted, "but it does make the week go fast since I spend most of it sleeping."
"I'll be here at home taking care of things," he promised, "I'll talk to Tim's Mom about a potential sleep over on friday night when I pick Noah up tomorrow and you don't need to lift a finger, Ava and I will take care of it."
She smiled, "music to my ears…"
"I'll do some meal prepping tomorrow and make sure you get dinner and lunch. You need to keep your energy up when you're doing those long nights."
"Thanks Trev, thanks for taking care of us."
"Of course… it's my job," he smiled, "and one that I love to do," he added, stroking her hair.
He kissed her again, letting his tongue taste the tip of hers. She pressed into him, shimmying over and wrapping an arm around him. She felt his hands caressing the frame of her face as her tongue slid between his soft lips, eliciting a quiet groan from the back of his throat.
He kissed her back as eagerly for a few moments, running his fingers through her dark hair. He could feel her slowing things down. He could read the room, she was too tired for sex and he was too, although he knew his mind could be changed, but he respected that she needed sleep. He closed his lips, ending the kiss. She kissed him a few times, a little breathless. "I love you," she whispered, pressing her forehead against his until she calmed.
"I love you too," he murmured.
"Sorry baby, I should sleep…" she told him as if in apology.
"Don't be sorry. I want you to get enough rest. We'll have a little alone time tomorrow."
She smiled at him. "Pencil me in to go to work in a good mood."
They both chuckled. "Goodnight love," she kissed him one last time. He rolled over and turned the lamp off and sidled up close to her, wrapping an arm around her, letting her curl up and resting in the crook of his arm.