XII

Sirius rushed down the busy street to the subway station. There was a light rain, causing his hair to dampen. He hated when his hair was wet, but he never carried an umbrella. Every time he bought one, he lost it, so he didn't see a point in buying a new one.

Remus was leaning up against the wall near the subway. Sirius could tell he was on edge, clearly wondering if he was going to be on time. The two were heading to campus for class. Sirius was coming from an appointment, causing the two to meet in a different spot than normal. Sirius had gotten turned around, but he managed to make it on time.

He passed Remus the cup of earl grey tea, causing his lips to quirk up at the sides. "Thanks." The two made their way into the subway tunnel and rushed onto the train. They stood leaned together, holding the bar between them, as the subway pushed and pulled them back and forth.

Sirius watched as Remus shivered, then sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his face. Sirius felt worry churn in his stomach. "Are you okay?"

"My jacket is damp," he groaned.

Sirius could see the rain splatters on Remus's jean jacket. He was only wearing a t-shirt underneath. Which would normally be appropriate for the weather in the city, but today was uncharacteristically cold and rainy. Sirius was about to offer him the hoodie he had on under his leather jacket when he remembered the sweater he got with Marlene. He rummaged around through his tote bag, pulling out the sweater. "I got this for you, when I was thrifting with Mar."

Remus took the sweater in his hands, smiling down at it. Growing red across the bridge of his nose.

"Do you like it?" Sirius asked anxiously.

Remus's forehead wrinkled, a wistful expression on his face. "Yes, it's great. Thanks." Sirius watched as Remus tugged the sweater on and pulled his jean jacket back around his shoulders.

"Better?" He asked.

"Yes," Remus said, his tone full of relief. "Thanks."

There was a nervous energy between the two, both men averting their eyes, looking at the ground. Remus slid his hand up on the bar so that his thumb touched the bottom of Sirius's hand. He whisked his thumb along the edge of Sirius's pinky. Sirius could feel a goofy sort of grin pulling across his face.

The subway stopped, and the doors opened. People exited out onto the platform. However, the doors did not close. Sirius and Remus looked around the train, seeing that others were growing restless, a few poking their heads out to look around the platform. Finally, an announcement played on the train, informing them that there was an issue at the station, no trains were moving in either direction.

"Crap," Remus said, checking the time on his phone. "We aren't going to make it to the lecture."

Sirius bit his lip and grabbed Remus's hand, pulling him off the train. "We are getting a drink."

"No," Remus said frantically. "We should find a library or a coffee shop. At least get some work done."

"You need to let loose," Sirius said, shaking with laughter. "This is a sign from the universe that you need to have some fun."

As they walked hand in hand, up the subway stairs to the street, Sirius could sense Remus's resolve breaking. Remus huffed as Sirius dragged him towards a small bar nearby. There was a light rain falling onto the city streets, coating them in a shiny layer of water. Since Sirius didn't have an umbrella, the two men huddled under one together, shoulders brushing.

"I wish it would stop raining," Remus grumbled.

"I like when it rains," Sirius told him.

"What? Why?"

"Everything looks like a sleek photo. I love night photography of the city on a rainy night." Sirius explained, "Did you know sometimes on film shoots they will wet the ground to give the colours pop?"

"I didn't know that," Remus said. "You gonna be my film and photography tutor?"

"Naw… You should ask Mar. She'd be better. She actually studies. I only remember the crap I'm interested in," Sirius laughed. The two stopped at a red light. Sirius looked around the street. "How can you not like it? The rain makes the city feel… I don't know… romantic."

"Sirius Black, are you secretly a hopeless romantic?" Remus asked, grinning as the two huddled under the umbrella.

Sirius paused, taking a moment to actually think about the question. "Not until I met the Potter's."

They walked down the street until they found a bar that had no sign. It was dingy, but still had some charm to it. The light in the bar was low, and they filled the space with plush armchairs and couches. The walls were covered with an eclectic mix of photos in mix-matched frames.

After grabbing drinks, the two sunk onto a couch, and Sirius kicked his legs up onto Remus's lap. Who anxiously pulled out his phone, and typed into it. "What are you doing?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Texting the group chat to see if anyone from our tutorial group made it to the lectures."

"Why would you do that?"

"To get the notes," Remus said, as if it was obvious.

He snatched the phone out of Remus's hand, shoving it into his pocket. "You need to be stopped."

"Some of us actually care about our grades," Remus scoffed, absentmindedly placing his hand on Sirius's leg as he talked.

"I get good grades," Sirius said, leaning back.

"How are you just good at everything?"

Sirius choked on his drink. "I'm not good at everything."

"You make this amazing art. You don't even have to try. Everyone loves you-"

"That's not true. I'm lazy, and some people find me obnoxious. Marlene literally calls me a dickhead every chance she gets."

"She's joking," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"I can't draw," Sirius called out.

"You can still draw better than the average person."

"Okay, fine, I'm perfect," Sirius joked, dramatically brushing his hair out of his face. Then he turned pensive. "You don't think you're perfect, too?"

Remus spluttered, "nothing comes easy for me."

Sirius sat up, his legs slipping between Remus's, whose hand slid up his thigh. He leaned into his elbow, resting on the back of the couch, inches away from Remus. "I wish you saw yourself the way I see you." He could feel his heart pounding. Sirius saw the line that he was dangerously close to crossing. He knew he shouldn't… couldn't. Remus was one of his best friends. He had quickly become one of the most important people in his life. He didn't want to lose him, which meant that he needed to push these feelings down.

But… right now? He would just linger here. He knew Remus didn't have feelings for him, but he didn't seem to mind the physical affection.

"How do you see me?" Remus said, so low Sirius had to strain to hear it.

Sirius brushed his fingertips into Remus's. "You're the hardest worker I've ever met. You make the most beautiful paintings. You make me care about art history. You are kind and caring and know exactly what to say. You make people feel special and cared for."

What he meant was that Remus made him feel special and cared for. He wished he could tell Remus that he loved the earnest way he spoke about art. How his words betrayed his deep passion for the subject, even when he was trying to play it cool. Especially when he was trying to play it cool. He wished Remus could see how his golden eyes would light when he was describing a particularly interesting fact. And those eyes. Those goddamn eyes. Sweet like chocolate, but when the light hit them, they turned amber like whiskey. Sirius thought they felt like an autumn afternoon. The crisp air and leaves falling from trees.

But he couldn't come out and say that, though. That kind of vulnerability made him squirm.

His eyes dropped to Remus's collarbone. He wanted to run his fingers along it. To feel the soft skin under his. Or feel the crook of his neck against his lips. He was suddenly too aware of how close they were. Under different circumstances, he would lean in, and give in to the urges. But things weren't different, and he was flirting with the line a bit too much. He was at risk of making Remus uncomfortable. He was being selfish. So he pushed it down.

Remus's breath hitched, their eyes meeting, as Sirius pulled back. He dropped his feet in front of himself, moving back on the couch. He needed to put space between the two of them, or he was going to cross the line. Sirius had been stupid to think he could sit that close to it and not want to cross it.