JJ was heading home for the night, while her wife was still cooped up at the office, dealing with matters regarding Deputy Director Bailey. She couldn't blame her, though. He had such a condescending attitude towards Emily and her limitations on bureaucratic resources for what may become a potentially active case. Emily wasn't going to let that just pass by.
JJ had her mom at home with the boys, while she and Emily were at work. Sandy didn't mind, as she had asked JJ a few years ago if she could spend more time with her grandsons. JJ and Emily gladly accepted the request, and Sandy had been helping them out since.
Once she arrived home, JJ saw her mom sitting on the couch with a cup of tea on the table, and whatever primetime drama was on TV at this hour. Sandy looked up to see her. "JJ, hi, honey. How was work?"
JJ greeted her with a smile. "Hi. The usual, um, except this time, we think this case and the previous one are connected. But enough about that, how are the boys? Did they behave?"
Sandy chuckled. "Yes. Finished their homework, and in their beds, but uh, Henry. He's been on his phone a lot more tonight, huh? I bet it's that girlfriend of his."
JJ laughed. "Mm, maybe, but I don't want to scare him off too much. Emily told me to slow it on the interrogation," she joked.
Sandy hummed. "How are you and Emily, by the way?"
"We're fine. We're good," JJ decided to distract herself by skimming through some of her mail lying across the table.
Sandy frowned. "I haven't seen her as much lately."
JJ sighed and tossed the mail back onto the table. "We're both just busy with work. She's handling a lot more with her job as section chief, and our team is short-handed right now."
"I just don't like seeing my daughter unhappy," Sandy said, watching her jaw clench to attempt to hold back her annoyance and her eyes narrow at the floor. "Don't try and hide it, JJ. I recognize that look."
JJ closed her eyes when she felt her heart pound at the implication. Of all the thoughts she'd been having lately, she didn't want to go there, especially not with her marriage. "Emily and I are not you and dad, mom," she said in a low voice.
Sandy nodded. She was honestly glad that JJ and Emily were the opposite of her past marriage. "Of course not. I believe you, honey. I don't want history to repeat itself. I'm afraid that with you and Emily not seeing each other, it's starting to affect you. Whenever you come home, you're waiting for Emily to come home or talk to you. I know you miss her."
JJ licked her now trembling lips. "I do miss her, but I can't stop her from doing her job. We both agreed we wouldn't let our relationship affect our job. We can't just back down now because our marriage might be fa-" she stopped herself from finishing her sentence with the next two words. It's not falling apart, she began to repeat in her head.
"No, that won't happen. Do you want to know something, JJ?"
"What?"
"If there's one thing I learned after your father left, it's to never give up without trying first," Sandy responded. "That was a mistake I made. Your dad and I… when we got married, we thought we had the picture perfect family. Just me, your father, Ros, and you. Then, later on, things with your sister and our marriage… we thought ignoring the elephant in the room was the best solution, and that everything will just fall into place. It only made matters worse. Look, JJ," she softened. "Don't make the same mistakes we did."
When she and Emily first got together, JJ swore to herself that she would never end up like her parents. They wouldn't fight; if they did, they wouldn't lash out in anger or slam things around. Instead, they would give the other some time before talking. And if they were angry, they wouldn't let their boys see it. They made sure to check in with each other, especially in their line of work. The minute Henry was born, JJ thought she was selfish to hope that Emily would never leave her and Henry. They weren't a couple at the time Henry came into the world, but Emily was such a saint. She vowed to help JJ and Henry in whatever way she could, friends or more. JJ couldn't be any more thankful for Emily's presence in her life.
JJ tried to stop any more tears from flowing, a hand over her mouth to stop a small hiccup. "I don't want to be like you and dad," she quietly admitted.
"You're not going to be like us," Sandy repeated. "Have you talked to Emily yet?"
JJ shrugged. "Not since yesterday before we went to work."
"Maybe you could talk to her, and see how she feels," her mom softly offered.
Nodding, JJ wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her shirt. "Thank you, mom," she smiled. "I think I needed that."
Sandy returned her smile. "I want only the best for my daughter and my daughter-in-law."
At first, Sandy was surprised to see JJ being in a relationship with a woman, that woman being Emily. She met Emily while they were still friends, but when she and JJ started dating, Sandy learned that she needed to adjust to it quickly. Emily was a such a sweet and caring person, she found it difficult to not like her.
Sandy remembered the day JJ introduced Emily as her girlfriend. The way both JJ and Emily's hands were shaking until they found their way to tangle them with one another. How Emily's fingernails were freshly damaged, indicating her resorting to her bad habit prior to meeting Sandy again. How JJ kept fiddling with her sister's necklace. All doubts came to a halt when Sandy nodded and invited Emily in for a hug.
Blood rushed through JJ's ears, as she heard the pounding of her heart. Her hair tied, with a few small strands stuck to her forehead with sweat, as she kicked the soccer ball across the grass. JJ decided to think things through by working them out – literally. Her old habit of playing soccer as a stress relief was brought back once Henry joined sports in school and asked his mom to practice with him.
"Our fears come out in our sex life. We hate to admit it, but it's true."
Rossi's statement about their severed spinal cord unsub ran through JJ's head. She was just as confused today as the night before. Was that true? Did Emily ever make her feel insecure during a moment of intimacy? No. Emily did the exact opposite. She always ensured that JJ was safe and never did anything she was uncomfortable with. What did Dave mean by that?
JJ's fear. She must've had something she was afraid of, otherwise those words wouldn't have stuck with her. She stopped kicking the ball, putting her foot on top of the ball, and closed her eyes. Emily was always gentle and patient with her; she didn't understand why it was bothering her. Then, she thought back to her mom's words.
"Your dad and I… when we got married, we thought we had the picture perfect family. Just me, your father, Ros, and you. Then, later on, things with your sister and our marriage… we thought ignoring the elephant in the room was the best solution, and that everything will just fall into place. It only made matters worse. Don't make the same mistakes we did."
Opening her eyes again, JJ exhaled out a breath. She and Emily didn't have trouble talking with each other, as they have been coworkers and friends for a long time. However, they both were aware of their track record in romance, which was lacking. In fact, they considered each other the longest relationship they ever had in their lives.
Maybe that was the problem. Their relationship was still relatively new to them, a lot more now that they married. It was the first time they had someone that can understand them completely and totally. The first time they dropped all their pretenses, leaving themselves all bare for the other person. The first time they loved someone so much, that losing them meant losing a part of themselves. JJ wasn't ready to let go of that.
She finally placed the soccer ball back into the sports bag she bought for Henry, and went back inside the house through the back door. As she was shaking her hair out of her ponytail, she heard a "Love you!" reverberate through the house and the front door shut loudly, indicating that the boys had left for school and Emily was most likely still in the house.
The blonde figured this would be a good time to talk to her, at least it could be, if Emily didn't have to go to work earlier than her. Taking her chances, JJ finally made her way to the kitchen, spotting Emily with her back towards the blonde. She guessed that Emily must be getting ready early for a meeting.
Clearing her throat, JJ announced her presence, "Hey."
The greeting prompted Emily to turn her head towards the voice. She glanced at JJ's outfit. An open denim shirt, sports bra underneath, and leggings, with her hair down over her shoulders. It was one of Emily's favorite looks on her. Emily swallowed and hid a cough behind her coffee cup. If she didn't have a lot going on in the office, Emily would've taken her wife then and there. She smiled and pointed at the coffee pot. "Hey. Um, I just got Michael and Henry out the door. I brewed some coffee for you."
JJ returned her smile. "Thanks. Listen, do you have some time before you go, if you don't mind?"
"I should right now," she checked her watch. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to talk to you about some things."
Emily's shoulders slumped. Maybe Tara was right after all. "Sure, go ahead," she nodded.
"I'm sorry about what I said that morning, about date night. I didn't mean for it to come out like that," JJ quietly apologized.
"No, no." Emily shook her head and grabbed her cup to take another sip of her coffee. "I get it, but I want to hear you out first."
JJ nodded. "Right, um…" She began wringing her hands together, and took a deep breath. "Do you think our fears come out in our sex life?"
Nearly spitting the coffee out, Emily's eyebrows flew up. A fine shade of pink colored her cheeks at the question. Their sex life certainly wasn't the first thing she expected JJ to ask. "I don't understand. Did I- did I do something wrong?"
At Emily's horrified expression, JJ backpedaled with a reassuring smile. "Oh, no, no! It's not- no, the sex is amazing. It always is." This time, JJ blushed and glanced down at the floor.
A soft breath passed through Emily's lips, relieved at the answer. "If this has anything to do with your cuckolding case, I'm not sure if I'm up for that," she guessed.
"Oh, no. Well, yes, it's from the case, but no, it's not that," JJ clarified, now walking towards her. "We were discussing what might have triggered our unsub, and Dave suggested something that got me thinking. About us."
Sweat began to form inside Emily's palms, and she struggled to resist the urge to pick at her fingernails. It wasn't until a hand stretched out to her, wrapping it around her own, that the tension in Emily's body began to leave. JJ gave her a look, silently asking for permission to continue, and Emily nodded.
JJ sighed. "I just was scared that we were pulling away from each other. Look, I am proud that you got promoted, Emily. I will always be your #1 supporter. What I'm scared of, is what happens to us later. I think back to Hotch's marriage, Rossi and Krystall, and wonder, how did we ever make it this far? How is it that you've never once up and left me by now? I could think of a thousand reasons why someone like you could've left at any time you wanted, but why haven't you?"
Emily finally put her cup down on the counter beside her. "I never wanted to," she answered genuinely. "Not that I have a reason to, but I chose not to leave you."
"But why?" JJ whispered, voice beginning to crack.
"Because I made a promise that I would give you the whole world. I promised that I would never leave you empty, heartbroken, and abandoned. I made sure you would never feel that way, ever again," Emily said. She brought JJ's hand up, pressing it to her lips. "But lately, I haven't been keeping that promise as much as I thought."
JJ's eyes and voice softened at the doubtful tone. "Emily…"
"I know I've been away from home," Emily solemnly acknowledged, tilting down her chin before shaking her head. "I haven't been able to spend time with you, like I should have. Nowadays, it seems like I'm more married to my job than to you. You're my wife, and I should be paying more attention to you."
"It's not your fault," JJ softly assured. Watching Emily silently beat herself up caused her heart to ache as her wife's insecurities bubbled to the surface. "You're doing the best you can."
Emily chuckled grimly. "I'm not," she whispered, shaking her head again. "One of my biggest fears is becoming my own mother. We didn't get to spend much time together, and ended up drifting apart because of her job. Growing up, I sometimes wondered if she cared for me at all, or if I was just another 'assignment' to her."
She glanced down at her and JJ's hands, running her thumb over her wife's knuckles. Emily's heart tightened at the thought that she was doing the same in her adult and married life.
Emily spent much of herself in their relationship for ten years now, throwing away her past, conflicted experiences in romance, and replacing them with new, cherished memories when she met JJ. For a long time, Emily thought she don't have the best luck in love. She blamed her mother for making her crave for affection and understanding, when she shouldn't have to. She blamed Ian Doyle, too, believing that she should feel guilty for loving someone. But Jennifer… she was a different story. JJ taught Emily how to love every part of herself, from head to toe, inside and out. She became the shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold, and the person she came home to at night, reminding her of all the good in the world. Emily never wanted to let go of that.
"I don't want the boys to feel that way with me," Emily continued in a choked whisper. She sniffled and tilted her head back, avoiding oncoming tears. "I come home sometimes, and feel like I'm missing out on a lot. Henry's a teenager now, and Michael's going to school. I don't want to miss a milestone for our sons, and definitely not our date nights."
Emily shook her head at herself, and JJ placed her free hand on Emily's cheek to wipe a stray tear. "JJ, you've been nothing but great with the boys. You've been there when I haven't, and I don't want them to forget me as their mom. They're my responsibility, too. I don't ever want to put all that stress on you. You deserve better than that."
Emily was more than grateful for JJ's empathetic nature. It was one of the reasons she fell in love with the blonde, and she never wanted to take that for granted. Suddenly, JJ's question about leaving reflected back to her. Why hadn't she left Emily yet? JJ could always find someone better. Someone who will make time for her, and treat her like a queen that she is.
Bringing her out of her thoughts, JJ wrapped her arms around Emily's waist, raising a hand up to tuck a piece of gray hair behind her wife's ear. "Maybe we can do better than that," she said almost quietly.
"Can I be honest?" Emily nervously swallowed and JJ nodded. "I don't know how we made it this far, either. I thought you were going to hate me for not being here as often."
"Why would I hate you? I never could, and I never will," JJ reassured her, still wiping away Emily's tears. "You know what one of my fears is? It's that I haven't been making the most of my life, and what I have right here. I think I take it for granted sometimes, and in this line of work, it's hard to keep up with relationships. Over the course of our job and our relationship, our whole reality is this giant clock that keeps ticking, and in a matter of seconds, one of us could just…" she trailed off, but Emily knew what she meant, and that, unfortunately, was the truth they couldn't avoid, even if they tried.
Both of them watched Hotch struggle with Haley and Jack at home, how her loneliness and his schedule drove them apart. They listened to stories of Rossi's past marriages, and how he didn't get to see his kids grow up because of his job. Now, Hotch had to learn to raise Jack on his own, solidifying his promise to Haley, and Rossi started catching up with Joy while dealing with the loss of Krystall. Were Emily and JJ beginning to mirror their experiences?
"Emily, I know that neither of us have the best history with relationships, and our marriage may not be perfect, but I want to make it work with you. Whatever it takes," JJ whispered, cradling Emily's face in her hands.
The older woman attempted to smile, letting the words put her at ease, just a bit. "How do we do that?"
"I don't know," JJ whispered and Emily frowned, but the former quickly recovered her response. "But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. My mom told me, one of the biggest mistakes she made, when my parents were still together, was giving up without trying first. I want us to be able to live in the moment, with what we have now. Doesn't matter what it is, date night, Henry's game, family dinners. I just want to spend that time with you."
JJ stared deep into her eyes, licking her lips. Emily watched cobalt eyes turn a darker shade, one that she had not seen in a while now, and she silently gulped in anticipation.
The moment of silence allowed JJ's hands to hover over the large button holding Emily's blazer together. Emily let her continue, giving a small nod. At that, JJ unbuttoned the blazer, sliding her hands under to open it a little more. She leaned in to lightly kiss the side of her neck, feeling Emily shiver under her touch, which made JJ smile at the reaction and pull away from her neck.
Emily opened her eyes to see JJ's face millimeters away from her. JJ decided to stay where she was at, silently challenging Emily to make her move now. So, Emily did. She placed a hand on JJ's hip and rested her forehead against hers.
"Let me make it up to you," Emily softly promised. "Let me take care of you."
Finally, she tilted her head to capture JJ's lips in hers, and brought the younger woman impossibly closer. JJ pushed Emily's blazer off her shoulders, and wrapped her arms around her neck. She pinned Emily against the counter, and her hands immediately fell to that off-centered belt buckle that drove her wild since they met years ago.
The second Emily felt a sharp tug at her belt, she mentally checked that little detail off in her "list of things JJ still finds attractive".
Emily's hands roamed around JJ's torso under the open denim top. Running her hands over the small and smooth lines of her wife's strong muscles that she loved so damn much, Emily gained control as she tightened her grip on JJ's hips. One hand slid up to JJ's neck, prompting Emily to tear herself away from the blonde's lips and begin placing open-mouth kisses behind her currently pierced ear, bringing JJ's head to the side for more room.
JJ's mouth went slack, letting a sigh escape. She threaded her fingers in Emily's gray hair, lightly tugging, and pushed herself into Emily's body. Her other hand was grabbing at any part of Emily that she could, until it landed on the counter surface, letting the other woman take control. Emily remembered that one special spot behind her ear, the one that made JJ weak in the knees every time. Emily grinned once she heard the other woman murmur her name.
JJ, on the other hand, was about to lose it. She couldn't tell if it was because it had been a while since they had sex, because of the toll the pandemic had taken on them in the past three years, including the number of cases she had to handle in her reassignment, or simply because it was Emily. Whatever it was, if Emily didn't stop doing that, JJ was going to explode.
As if reading her mind, Emily decided to waste no more time, and bent down to kiss down JJ's covered breasts. The blonde opened her eyes to peer down at her wife, who looked up at her while kissing around her stomach, gauging her reaction.
Emily continued further down until she was on her knees, making JJ scoot backwards slightly when she realized what Emily was about to do. The older woman hooked a finger around the waistband of JJ's leggings and underwear together, slowly pulling them down her legs, and watched as JJ stepped out of them to help her. Once they were off, Emily trailed kisses around JJ's hipbone, her lips finding the surgical scar and the electrical burn adjacent to each other. When the blonde noticed she stopped, she glanced down to see Emily hesitate.
Emily's fingers brushed over the scar and burn, her mind immediately flashing back to the respective times they tainted her wife's body. Then, her mind conjured other images of JJ out in the field during the pandemic, closing her eyes.
"How many?"
JJ furrowed her eyebrows. "How many what?"
"How many times did you go into the field and get hurt by an unsub?" Emily asked in a pained whisper, looking up at her.
JJ went rigid. "Emily-"
"How many times did you get hurt?" Emily repeated.
JJ gulped, finding it difficult to hide it from her. "Only twice, I swear," she quietly answered. "A punch in the head, and a gunshot, but my vest saved it. Babe, I'm- I'm okay now. See?"
"But you didn't tell me about them?" Emily frowned, ready to beat herself up again. "I must've been too busy to notice."
JJ shook her head. "No. No, I just didn't tell you, and I'm sorry."
"I won't let anyone hurt you," Emily whispered before swallowing. "They'll have to go through me, if they do."
JJ's heart swelled at her promise. Emily's compassion was one of the reasons she married her. JJ admired how much Emily was willing to lay down her life, if it meant saving the life of another. Emily was always there to catch her when she was falling, at this point, JJ could barely keep track, but she was more than grateful every single time.
Emily carefully kissed the two marks before meeting JJ's center. JJ rested her arms on top of the kitchen counter in front of her. Soon after, Emily took that as a sign to finally dive into JJ, hearing her gasp lightly at the action. One of JJ's hands flew to rest on the back of the other woman's head, gathering as much hair as she could.
"Emily, fuck," JJ muttered under her breath. Emily slowly lifted one tanned leg over her shoulder. At the action, JJ scrambled to regain her balance over the older woman, and her head fell forward. Emily's tongue grazed her clit before wrapping her lips around it. JJ's knuckles began to turn white, fingernails digging into her palms.
Emily's hands landed on the back of JJ's thighs, bringing her closer for better access. She flattened her tongue against her entrance, slowly moving upwards. "That- that's… shit," JJ groaned and her eyes quickly shut. Looking at the woman above her, Emily admired how beautiful her wife looked at her mercy. JJ's abs flexing and twitching at each motion Emily made, and her chest rising and falling slowly before transitioning to a shorter rhythm.
Rolling her hips against Emily's mouth, JJ held Emily's head in place with both hands now. Three years. Three years of their sons always being at the forefront of JJ's mind while her wife was at work, folders stacked on her desk, flashing her back to her liaison days, battling unsubs with Luke by her side, talking Rossi through with his grief, those nights alone in her and Emily's bed, waiting for Emily to come home. JJ pushed herself into Emily once more, legs twitching around her wife's head, the familiar build at the pit of her stomach she didn't realize she had been craving for over those past three years.
Emily helped JJ's movement by placing a hand on her lower back. She could tell JJ was just on the brink, and she didn't want her to wait any longer. Sliding her hand under JJ's shirt, Emily scratched her nails against soft skin, drawing circles to push her closer and closer to her peak. JJ immediately came, with a loud cry rippling through their kitchen and a loosened grip on Emily's hair. Emily kept her hand on her back to keep her wife balanced on her feet, which JJ was thankful for.
After gathering herself, JJ tapped Emily's shoulders to signal for her to stand up, and crashed their lips together. At the taste of herself on Emily's tongue, JJ moaned into her mouth. The fabric of Emily's work blouse scratched against her skin under her own shirt, and JJ tugged onto the hem of the blouse.
"Bedroom," JJ murmured in between kisses, her hands going down to Emily's belt again and desperately pulling on it. The other woman nodded and wrapped her arms around JJ's waist, guiding her backwards. Feet shuffled clumsily across the floor, as the married couple pushed the other person against a wall or a piece of furniture on their way. JJ won the first time when she shoved Emily against the wall near a family picture, finally making quick work of unbuckling it and pulling the leather out of the belt loops. The clink of the belt buckle was heard, once she threw it to the side, and she kissed Emily again.
"Come on," Emily mumbled and JJ nodded, taking her hand and walking to their bedroom.
When they reached the doorway, Emily pushed her against the doorframe this time, kissing behind her ear again. "Mm, babe…" JJ shut her eyes at Emily's lips tickling behind her ear, not wanting to waste more time on herself. The older woman decided to remove her own shirt, tossing it somewhere inside the bedroom before she propped JJ down on the bed. JJ pulled Emily down with her, rolling over, so that she was on top and they were face-to-face with one another.
Both women were panting, their lips swollen, eyes glossy, and faces tinted in similar shades of pink. JJ kissed her cheek, and leaned in whisper, "Let me take care of you, too, Emily."
Emily simply nodded in response. JJ's words transformed into a series of gentle kisses pressed along Emily's throat, down to her chest. JJ cupped Emily's breasts still covered by her bra. The blonde woman pulled the bra down, and began giving her attention to Emily's breasts. Lips were immediately wrapped around a nipple, while one hand toyed with the other. Emily placed a hand on the back of JJ's head, massaging her scalp once her tongue slowly swirled around her nipple. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head. With work occupying Emily's mind, she almost forgot how good JJ was with her mouth. That was just the preview of what's to come, and Emily certainly did not want to wait any longer.
JJ released the nipple from her mouth to smile up at Emily. "You're so beautiful," she said, bringing herself up to kiss her on the lips.
The other woman blushed at the compliment, allowing JJ move down to settle in between her legs. Emily braced herself, hands searching for the comforter underneath her. JJ tugged her slacks, removing them completely and tossing it to the side. Once they were off, fingertips danced along the waistband of Emily's underwear. JJ placed a gentle kiss on her abdomen, right next to her surgical scar that had gradually faded over the years.
"Jay…" Emily desperately sighed, lifting her hips to her. "Please."
Slowly curling the corner of her lips, JJ decided to pity her. Emily worked her ass off to be where she was now, and made compromising arrangements for the BAU. She deserved this.
Two fingers hooked themselves under the waistband, and pulled them down Emily's legs. When it was discarded and out of sight, JJ brought both legs over her shoulder and began to slowly lick.
Emily let out a guttural moan, suddenly finding her footing in the renewed pleasure her wife was more than happy to offer. A tongue darted out softly against her clit, so light as a feather, and two hands wrapped themselves around Emily's thighs. Emily threw her head back into the pillow. She couldn't believe all that time in her office, dealing with the restructuring of the BAU, going in early for meetings, and fighting the Deputy Director, she had missed all this. JJ's warmth, her strong but gentle hands, and her amazing tongue.
Emily's eyes screwed shut and her mouth fell open, one hand finding purchase in dark blonde locks and the other twisting the comforter. JJ's tongue started drawing circles, before switching between her clit and her entrance. Her fingernails started digging into Emily's skin, causing the woman above her to writhe against her face.
"Fuck," Emily's breathing became short. The long-awaited feeling started building inside her, and Emily was embarrassingly close to her orgasm. It really had been a while. "JJ. JJ, fuck. Please," she whimpered.
Pulling her head away, JJ hovered over her body and quickly brought a finger inside her wife, pumping in and out, catching Emily off guard. Emily groaned again, and JJ added another finger. In contrast to the increasing pace, JJ gently rested her forehead against hers, as they took in each other's oxygen.
"I love you," JJ whispered and combed Emily's hair back with a free hand. "I'm so lucky to have you as my wife. You're amazing."
Hearing the emotion strained in her voice, Emily nodded with her response. "I love you, too. I'm so happy I married you."
She blinked and caught the blonde staring right at her. Emily could see the fire in JJ's blue eyes, darkened and determined. Her blue eyes were something Emily always admired about JJ. How expressive they were. The way JJ talked to the family of a victim, the way they narrowed as she looked down an unsub or a misogynistic cop, or the sneaky, little glint in them, when she listens to the latest gossip at the office or when she had a plan or two to make Emily come anywhere and anytime she wanted. This time, JJ's look was intense that Emily had trouble figuring out what it meant. Her pupils dilating and constricting a couple of times as if trying to read her, but immediately soften when Emily's eyes met her halfway. Then, it hit her. JJ waa establishing her promise to Emily. She wanted to let her know that whatever doubts Emily had, she would be there to help her and that they would be on the same page every time.
JJ placed her hand on Emily's cheek. "I'm here," she cooed, pecking her lips. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere."
Emily finally fell apart, tears pricking at her eyes. JJ removed her fingers, kissing Emily with certainty. The older woman exhaled against her lips, all of her emotions hitting her like a freight train. She brought JJ closer, making the other woman lay on top of her. Emily buried her head inside the crook of the blonde's neck, quietly sobbing.
"I'm so sorry," Emily mumbled. "I'm so sorry. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You and the boys."
JJ kissed the side of her head, making soft shushing noises. "It's okay, Emily. You don't have to apologize. Henry, Michael, and I still love you. We're all in this together."
"Please don't leave me," Emily quietly begged. "I don't know what I would do without you guys," she continued, sniffling as she hugged JJ tighter. That was it, JJ noted. Emily's fear extended beyond just becoming her mother. Emily, who worked hard to be where she was, the woman that built a home with a wonderful and patient woman over the years, the woman Henry and Michael practically idolized the whole lives so far, the woman JJ married because she saw her struggles and offered to help every step of the way. Emily's fear brought her all the way back to her childhood. Emily was afraid of being alone, and of not having a loving family to come home to.
"I mean it, Emily. I'm right here," JJ said, resting her head on her wife's shoulder. She brought Emily's left hand up, pressing her lips to the finger she cemented her lifelong promise on, and smiling at the very object that cooperated with her in the process.
Emily pulled away from her neck and kissed her. "I'm sorry for making you cancel date night, too. I didn't mean to."
JJ nodded and wiped the other woman's tears. "Emily, it's okay. I should be the one apologizing. I pushed you, and I shouldn't have done that."
"No, no," Emily quickly cut her off. "I'm glad you pushed. I didn't even realize what I was doing until you pointed it out that morning." She cupped her wife's face in her hands. "I do love and care for you, JJ. I want to spend time with you as best and as much as I can."
JJ agreed with another nod. "Me, too." Chewing on her lip in thought, she planted a small kiss on Emily's cheek. "How about this? If we can't make it home on time at night… there's always something to look forward to in the morning." Grazing her nose against her cheek, she made her way to kiss Emily fully and deeply on the lips.
"Is that so?" Emily smiled, and JJ hummed in agreement. "I think I like the sound of that. They do say, breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
JJ's lips made their way to hover near her ear, grinning at the response. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Good. I think we should finish it."
JJ made her way under the covers, making sure Emily had her word in the matter of an hour before they left for work.