The entire Justice League stopped talking when Danny burst into their conference room. He stood defiantly at the foot of their table while the Earth's greatest heroes all stared at him in varying levels of surprise.

"No way." Wally's jaw dropped open. "The thing about Danny was true?"

"This is like Christmas came early," Hal crowed in excitement.

If Danny or Batman had any superpowers, the Green Lantern would've been incinerated by the laser-eyed glare they both pinned him with.

"He's even acting like Bats," Wally whispered in awe.

"For the love of— no, I'm not sleeping with Batman!" Danny finally snapped, storming towards the table. "For a bunch of bastions of 'truth and justice,' it's ridiculous how easily you all believed and spread this gossip!"

"Well… Arrow and Canary really do use sparring as foreplay," Zatanna helpfully piped up. "And we've known you were involved with the Sirens. It's why Gotham has been much calmer lately."

Danny groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "'Involved with the Sirens?'" He quoted slowly.

"You do live with them," Jason mumbled from where he had stopped behind Danny, leaning against the wall next to the exit.

"Yeah and I have keys to your place, but that doesn't mean I'm fucking you either!"

"No shit, because I'd be the one on top—"

"Boys!" Diana raised her voice to interrupt the two. "Settle down. While I'm sure some here would love to hear more about your hypothetical relationship…"

Danny sighed. "Sorry. This has been very stressful, to say the least."

"I know how he can relieve that stress," Hal stage whispered to Wally, hand hovering over his mouth.

Danny froze. "Jason, give me one of your guns."

Jason was already pulling one out of its concealed holster with a knowing smirk, but he stopped as Superman slammed his hands against the table.

"Enough! Hal, one more word and you're on latrine duty for a month."

"But we don't have—"

"We will have latrine duty if you keep talking." Supes stared him down until Hal looked away in sulking defeat. "Mr. Johnson, what did you come here to say?"

Danny made a face at the way Superman addressed him but didn't comment on it. "Seeing as this involved me, I wanted to have a say before the jury of public opinion, as it were, outside of what the Batbrats have theorized."

"And that would be?" John Stewart prompted tiredly, sounding like he wanted to be anywhere but in the room.

"Say whatever you want about the Sirens, I've given up on that," Danny brushed aside. "But Batman? I mean, look at him!" He gestured wildly in the man's direction. "He lives in a cave, for fuck's sake, the speed of his heart matches a hummingbird's with the amount of 5-Hour Energies that he drinks, and I'm pretty sure he locks his emotions in a Pandora's Box under his bed."

"And he's a vampire!" Hal dramatically added.

"What?" Danny paused incredulously. "Uh, no. Vampires don't exist."

"Oh come on! Aliens from other planets can be real, but not vampires?"

"This does sound like a case of "he doth protest too much, methinks,'" Diana continued by commenting on the original point with a smirk.

Danny looked utterly betrayed. "Diana."

Black Canary coughed to hide her laughter. "She does make a point, Danny. It would've been more believable if you'd just ignored the whole thing and let it blow over."

The Wrangler snorted. "Yeah, right. That's what I tried to do with the Sirens, and clearly that didn't work.

"They do live with you," Zatanna conveniently mentioned.

"In this economy? Of course I needed roommates. But Harley and Ivy have been together for ages– they even share a room– and Catwoman is back on-again with Batman. You think I'm about to cheat with Batman's girlfriend?"

The room was silent for several moments, enough for Danny to straighten his back, thinking he'd finally made his point… until Wally spoke.

"Unless you were in a triad with her and Batman," he muttered, but it was impossible to hide what he'd said, considering the assembled group.

"Nope," Danny threw his hands up and spun on his foot, ranting as he left the room. "That's it. See if I do anything for any of you fuckers. And everyone wonders why I like the villains so much! At least I get some respect from them…"

Jason moved to follow Danny but stopped in the doorway and turned back toward Batman. "I don't have to start calling him 'stepdad,' do I?"

Batman's eyeslits narrowed ever-so-slightly, and with a slight flinch and roll of his eyes, Jason left his father to the chaos of the Justice League.

A/N: just this once... let me know in the comments who you ship with Danny and why lmao :)