Calling

Part II – Abandoned

Aeyrin didn't see Azshan in the clerics' chambers.

She didn't hear him come in all night and she was pretty sure she barely managed to doze off at all.

It was the worst night she had in the temple in a long time. She did come back late, but she didn't expect to be that beat down in the morning. But most of all, she was so anxious about what would follow. Azshan was leaving today. They had only several hours left together and this was definitely not how she wanted to leave things off. An uncomfortable feeling was clenching in her stomach the whole time as she dressed herself and determined herself to go have breakfast. He would probably be there. And so would a lot of other people. She couldn't talk to him there, but maybe he would be willing to disappear with her into the undercroft and discuss things.

She didn't even know what she would say. She still had no idea how she felt. But losing him was not an option.

She just had to do something.

She got to the mess hall relatively early after the morning bell, but so many people were already there. Including Azshan. He was sitting at the end of one of the benches by the large table, right next to Lyera. She was their fellow cleric who was leaving today as well – to join the same Order as Azshan. Aeyrin and Azshan had never talked to her too much. She was already a cleric when she joined the chapel only a year ago, transferred from Anvil, apparently. But Azshan did talk to her a bit more lately when they found out they were planning on doing the same training in the same place.

Right. Nothing strange about that. So Azshan wasn't in the quarters and didn't wait for Aeyrin to wake up so that they could have breakfast together. It was understandable after last night. It was also understandable that he was talking to Lyera. And sitting so close to her. Whispering and chuckling about something together. Completely understandable…

It was… fine. It was not as if she couldn't just talk to him in front of other people.

She let out a determined huff and she walked over to him. He didn't even acknowledge her though he must have seen her. He was still whispering something to Lyera that kept making her chuckle. Was he going to ignore her now?

"Uhm… Azshan?" Aeyrin bit her lip nervously as she addressed him. At this point she was standing right next to him. And only now he looked up at her. So did Lyera, but she seemed to lose interest in the interaction practically instantly.

"Morning," Azshan nodded at her. He looked… normal. There was no bite in his tone, no scowl on his face. That was good.

"Morning," she mumbled in return. "Do you think we could… talk somewhere?" At least he addressed her. That was good. He wasn't ignoring her. They could figure things out, right? They had to.

"Ah, sorry, honey, I've got a lot to do before we leave. It's a busy day," he shrugged noncommittally.

Oh.

She didn't expect that answer. She wasn't sure why, but once he actually spoke to her, this possibility did not even occur to her.

And it was a lie! He had hours before he needed to leave. He was all packed and ready – it was not as if he had a lot of things to take with him anyway. Nobody here had many personal things. What could he possibly have to do for hours?!

Before she could reel from the surprise and say anything else, he interrupted her.

"See you later," he smiled a bit but he promptly turned back to Lyera.

He just… brushed her off. Suddenly she had no idea what she should do with herself. He was ignoring her entirely now, though she was not saying anything anyway. She was just… stumped. And she had no idea how to act. The feeling in her gut got worse and she couldn't stand it.

She needed to leave.

She tried not to look distressed as she turned on her heel and walked away, but she wasn't even sure if she was walking right. How did people walk again? Her legs felt wobbly.

She didn't even realize that she left without taking anything to eat. She couldn't eat anyway. She just needed to get out of there and there was no way she could pretend to be fine as she sat there among so many people.

Did he brush her off just because of Lyera? Why? What would be the reason there?

Maybe she could find him again later, alone, but… right now, she wasn't sure if she was brave enough to do that. He said they were fine last night! It was unconvincing, but… still.

Gods, this was a mess. She was really starting to feel guilty for rejecting him. She messed everything up just because of her doubts. Maybe she shouldn't trust them, trust herself. Not when it brought her this.

She had no idea how she was going to fix this. But losing him to his training was bad enough – how could she deal with never actually seeing him or hearing from him ever again?

She must have hurt him so much.

What was she thinking?

…

The day was just getting worse and worse.

Azshan was actively avoiding her. Whenever she saw him somewhere in the chapel, he quickly approached someone else to talk or he just rushed off, telling her he was busy. After several tries, she just felt so pathetic about doing this. She actually started to feel like avoiding him as well. She didn't want to keep going through this. It was heart-breaking each time more and more.

The hours were probably the slowest she had ever experienced. She always worried that this day would pass too quickly as she tried to spend as much time with him as she could, but apparently it was the opposite. And all because she ruined everything last night. She broke his heart and now she clearly had to pay for it with her own heart-break.

She wasn't even able to do her duties properly that day. She got thrown out of the infirmary after knocking over a table with potions on it, breaking them and wasting them. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if she hadn't messed up a few other things before. She was lucky that Master Therien was there overseeing the healing. He was sympathetic, even though he didn't know what really happened. He probably assumed she was just thrown because Azshan was leaving today.

It was only half of the truth.

He was kind to her and he told her to go 'enjoy herself' instead of working. He probably thought she was going to go find Azshan.

She couldn't. Not anymore. She couldn't take it.

And as she passed the hours alone in the clerics' quarters, avoiding everyone, including the ghosts that might try to engage in conversation with her, eventually, the time came. Azshan and Lyera were going to be leaving soon – at four in the afternoon, a carriage was going to pick them up, as well as other trainees from other cities and chapels, and bring them all to the Imperial City. They would be passing their vigil and taking their vows during some evening ceremony at the Temple of One.

She wasn't sure whether she should even go upstairs to say goodbye. It would be uncomfortable. And no doubt crushing. But how could she not? How could she not try and see if he would still care enough to say goodbye to her?

The back of her neck burned all the way through from the anxiety as she walked upstairs. Nobody was around the living quarters, but she could hear plenty of voices up above as she ascended the stairs. Everyone was probably saying their goodbyes there.

She took a deep breath and walked up there. At first, she couldn't even find Azshan. Everyone was crowding around, even people who didn't talk to Azshan and Lyera much. They were all cheering for them and seeing them out. Aeyrin felt down just from seeing it. She had been planning today with Azshan for a while now – how they would go together to the undercroft to play and sing together for the ghosts one last time, how they would go buy some desserts from the market with the money they had saved up and how they would sneak into the clerics' quarters when nobody was there to eat them all by themselves. None of that happened. Instead there was this. And she was just one in the crowd of people he never really connected with.

She felt like crying, but she didn't want to break down right there. She was still hopeful. She still wanted to see him off too.

She spotted him talking to the initiate Luscia when she finally located him. Lyera was saying her own goodbyes too. Aeyrin wasn't sure if she should approach. What would he do? Would he ignore her again, brush her off once more? Or would he want to leave on a good note? Did she even dare hope?

"It's kind of impressive," a somewhat smug voice interrupted her conflicted moment. Aeyrin promptly turned to locate the source – it was Sevyen again.

"What is?" She asked, though her own voice surprised her. It was so hoarse, as if she hadn't spoken all day. Or maybe it was just the lump in her throat.

"How much he managed to screw you over in such a short time," Sevyen scoffed.

"What?" Aeyrin's eyes went wide at the Dunmer. What did she mean? He didn't 'screw her over'. He just… she hurt him. And he was reacting… poorly, sure, but she must have hurt him more than she had feared. "He… he didn't do anything wrong…" she shook her head.

Sevyen gave her a surprised look, but she didn't say anything else. She just shrugged and walked away a bit. Aeyrin had no idea what that was about, but it wasn't important. There was something much more important now. She needed to talk to him. Even if it hurt.

She took a deep breath and headed into the crowd.

She had to weave through the people until she finally entered Azshan's field of vision. He looked at her. And he actually smiled. That was good. He was still not scowling, still acknowledging her.

He quickly leaned in to give Luscia a very brief friendly half-hug and he approached Aeyrin instead.

She couldn't help but smile too when his expression didn't waver. It was such a relief to see that reaction. She felt like she might even be able to talk.

"So… this is it…" she chuckled nervously and her voice did still feel hoarse, but it was a little better than before.

"Yeah, this is it," he nodded. He still had that bright charming smile on his face. Maybe he just… needed some time. Or maybe she was imagining it all. Maybe he was actually busy and not trying to avoid her, even though she couldn't imagine what he was busy with.

There was a brief moment of silence between them, but it felt… alright. It felt more comfortable.

Until he reached out and ruffled her hair a bit. She hated when he did that, though he did that for that very purpose to tease her. But now it felt… different.

"Take care." His smile never disappeared, but that was all there was to it. He turned around to go find someone else to talk to right away without even giving her a chance to react.

What?

That was it? That was really all she got?

Gods, how could she screw everything up so badly?

She felt tears spring into her eyes involuntarily. How was this worse than if he had actually ignored her? She felt like there was a stabbing pain in her chest.

She needed to leave.

…

She ran into the clerics' quarters with tears streaming from her eyes.

She couldn't hold it in anymore.

She tried to hold back in front of everyone, but it was too much. Someone surely noticed her running off in tears, though she hoped they all thought that it was just what it seemed like – her closest friend was leaving, it was understandable to be upset, right?

If only that was the case.

It was good that everyone was still saying their goodbyes. Nobody had to see her like this. She hated people seeing her like this and the only ones she was comfortable with in these moments were Master Therien and… Azshan. Well… that ship has sailed. She ruined their relationship forever. She ruined everything.

She tumbled onto her bed and buried her head into the pillow. What else was there left to do?

But all too soon, she heard the door opening. Gods, someone was already back? Why? She didn't want to deal with people.

She only reluctantly collected herself and tried to wipe away her tears. More kept coming, but at least now when she sat up again and blinked away some of them, she could see who came into the chambers.

"Master?" She sniffled a little as she asked uncertainly. As if she wasn't really sure it was him. Well… the Masters rarely came here, but it was clear that Master Therien came because he followed her.

He didn't say anything until he sat down on the bed next to her and laid his hand gently on her back in comfort. He was just there to comfort her about her friend leaving. That was understandable.

"What happened, my dear?" His voice was kind and understanding as always, even when he wasn't reassuring but asking. What did he mean? He knew what happened. Or what everyone thought happened – that Azshan was leaving.

"What do you…?" She almost asked for clarification, but he interrupted her promptly.

"My sight may not be what it used to be ten years ago, but I am not blind."

Right. Of course. Of course he would notice that something else was wrong. That something else was going on with her. He always knew. He always somehow saw right through her. She wasn't sure if she was grateful for that or resentful just that second. She didn't want to talk about it. It hurt too much.

But… whenever she did… he always made her feel better.

"I… I messed everything up," she sniffled. "He hates me."

"Azshan? I doubt that he is capable of hating you. Why would you think that?" Master Therien pulled her a bit onto his shoulder, settling her in a comfortable half-embrace as he urged her to explain.

"He… he wouldn't even talk to me today…" her breath hitched as she tried to explain. "I… I hurt him and now he hates me."

"How did you hurt him?" Master Therien asked gently.

She tried to look at him briefly, but she could barely see through her tears. She wasn't sure about telling him. She suddenly felt guilty, like she was ratting Azshan out or something. But she didn't know what else to do and Master Therien wouldn't let it go when he saw her like this. He would want to make sure she was alright, no matter what.

"He… last night he… he kissed me," she said quietly. "And… I… I didn't think it… it was a good idea. I worried about… what this could mean for him and… I… worried about his vigil and his vows and…"

"And you don't feel that way about him?" It wasn't really a question, more of an assessment of the situation. Like he had already determined that this was how she felt.

"N-no… I don't know. Maybe I do. I don't know," she shook her head desperately. "He wouldn't hate me if I didn't tell him that… that it was a bad idea. I think… I messed everything up. He said it was fine, but it's not."

"My dearest, you can't force yourself to feel something because of his reaction. You rejected him for a reason. And I don't think either of you would care that much about your upcoming vows if the feelings were there. He didn't. But you did," he stroked over her back gently.

"But now he won't even talk to me," she sniffled again. "How could it have been the right decision when… this happened?"

"The blame for his reaction is not on you," Master Therien sighed. "I know you and I know you wouldn't have been cruel to him, but Azshan's pettiness is… not very surprising. You cannot blame yourself for it."

Maybe he had a point. Maybe the feelings really weren't there, otherwise she wouldn't have all these doubts, right? But Azshan had doubts too – about his calling, his paladinhood – that didn't mean it wasn't the right choice. Hurting him couldn't have been the right choice. And now she couldn't fix it.

"Maybe he just needs time," her mentor continued to talk to her gently. "Maybe you two can mend things after a while. It is… an emotional time for the both of you. It is not uncommon for people to lash out or blame themselves needlessly. Parting is never easy. And perhaps… for some people, it is easier to draw a distance between us and those we care about the most before we have to say goodbye."

She nodded thoughtfully at his words. That… that made sense. And it made her feel a little better. Just a little. She still couldn't believe this all happened like this.

But maybe it wasn't the end.

"You… you really think so? That he would… that he would talk to me again?" She looked at him hopefully through her tears.

"Time will tell, my dear. But I do not think you should fall into despair for uncertainties. The path will reveal itself, and perhaps you two will have an opportunity to mend what feels broken now."

Yeah. Maybe there would be a way. Maybe she should work on that instead. She couldn't let Azshan leave her like this.

"I… I think… I could join the Order too in two years," she tried to smile a bit, though it was exceedingly difficult. "Maybe we could…"

"My child," suddenly, Therien's voice bore more chastisement than sympathy. "Do not let guilt and hurt dictate your path. You must do such a thing for yourself, not for him. Joining the Order… it should be a calling. It should feel like something that you want, that you need, to do. For yourself and for the people of Tamriel. Not for a friend you miss."

"But… but it is what I want. Why… why can't I want to be there with my friend, what's so wrong about that?" Her brows creased. Azshan had doubts about his 'calling' too. It would never be clear-cut. Wasn't this a good enough reason to try though?

"Feeling abandoned is one of the hardest things we have to overcome. It drives us to seek the things that brought comfort, whether they lay in our intended path or not. And that may only breed resentment. I know that it is especially difficult for you after what you had been through," he sighed somberly.

Right, her issues with abandonment – Master Therien did often point it out. He was… helpful in the past, but he always made her feel a little bad for feeling like this. She argued about it at first, but now she knew he was right – she did still feel guilty for abandoning her father to his doubtlessly dire fate. And whenever she herself felt like she was being abandoned, she tended to panic. It was one of the worst things anyone could do to someone, right? She should know. She had done that to her father.

And she didn't want to move on. Was it really so bad to want to go where her friend was? To try and make things right?

"Nobody says you can't mend things," Master Therien squeezed her to himself more firmly. It was like he could always tell what was on her mind, how she would respond. "But, please, my dearest, don't let it set you on a path that is not for you."

It was… true that paladinhood had some aspect to it that Aeyrin wasn't sure she could handle. The traveling and slaying vile monsters sounded exciting. But she wasn't sure how… representative she could be. And how she could deal with the games the nobility liked to play that Azshan always spoke so dreamily about. But crossing off options didn't really fill her with much more confidence.

"I… I don't even know what else I would do anyway," she sighed. She could stay here, maybe. But… what would happen after Master Therien was gone? Would this place still feel like home to her? Would it feel like it now when Azshan was gone? That purpose and calling… she never felt it when she thought about staying in the temple either.

"Sometimes I worry that I've been sheltering you here for too long," he smiled a little sadly. "You have to excuse this old fool, but after everything you've been through… it is hard for me to think about you leaving. It's hard for me to think of you exposing yourself to the cruelty of the world. But… that is no way to raise someone, is it?" He chuckled at himself disparagingly.

"What do you mean?" She gave him a confused, teary look. She had spoken to him about how she felt sometimes – how she didn't feel like the purpose everyone here was talking about was the same thing she felt here. She felt safe and comfortable. But it wasn't the same thing. But what did he mean by that? That she should just… leave?

"The world may be cruel, and you know that better than most, but it can also be a wonderful place. And… while your own path is something you must think of on your own, I… I can't help but think of you sometimes. How much you could thrive without my overbearing protectiveness," he shook his head at himself too. "There are many who do not follow the paths to the vigil, to paladinhood or priesthood. People who are still finding themselves often go on pilgrimage around the world. They see what lies out there for them, they learn the ways of the Nine as other people do, those outside the sacred halls. They help people who need it, far away from the Church's reach. And they get to know themselves a little more in the process. My own travels, even if only to preach somewhere, have given me so much. I think, perhaps, you should think of trying to find your own path outside of this place, or another like it. Maybe you would find what you are looking for. Or maybe, the journey alone could be your calling."

"You… you mean… leave. Alone?" She choked up a little. She was struggling with losing one person now. How could she even begin to imagine being all alone out there in the unfamiliar world? Travel and adventure, it sounded so exciting. But also so scary."

"Remember one thing, my child," he looked at her with a suddenly serious expression. "No matter where you find yourself, you are never alone. As long as the Gods and those in your heart remain there, you will never be alone."

She nodded at him and tried to wipe away her tears again. It was an interesting idea, to go out into the world and see it for her own, not just from books and battlements. But the thought of leaving behind Master Therien and Azshan seemed so unbearable just then. She could probably return sometimes, but… right now, it'd only been minutes since Azshan was effectively gone and she could barely stand it. What would happen when she had to abandon Master Therien too?

He saved her. They both saved her. How could she handle anything without them?

She… had a lot to think about before the time came for her to make a decision. Two years suddenly didn't feel like enough.

At least she had Master Therien here to help her with it.

But she really wished she still had her friend too.

…

It's been a month.

The days and nights felt equally hard. She couldn't concentrate on her work, she couldn't enjoy her time at the chapel, not without her friend there. The only comfort to her were her talks with her mentor, but he had his own duties. It was becoming increasingly clear now that it felt like he was the only person she had left.

She felt guilty every time he had to go perform his duties and hesitated leaving her on her own. She couldn't stop him from living his life like this. She couldn't stop him from doing the work that fulfilled him. But she did feel like she needed his comfort more and more.

Still, when he told her he would be leaving on another one of his journeys, she put a brave face on. She wasn't sure she was convincing, but she tried and tried to reassure him that she would be fine here without him. She had to be, for his sake.

But after he left, everything just felt so much worse.

The temple suddenly felt so empty, even when it was filled with people. And no matter who was around, she always felt alone.

The daily tasks seemed to drag on and on, and so did idle conversations with her fellow clerics and initiates.

And somehow it always caught her off guard when someone actually talked to her.

"Are you really still moping?"

She had gotten so used to Sevyen's biting tone. She wasn't even doing anything now, just sitting on her bed in the clerics' quarters, lost in thought instead of joining the others for dinner.

But apparently, Sevyen decided to skip dinner too. Or maybe she had some before. Regardless, much to Aeyrin's surprise, she was here in the chambers, throwing her a somewhat nasty look.

"It's really not befitting for us to be pining after a guy, you know?" Sevyen rolled her eyes at Aeyrin.

"I'm not! I… I'm not moping," Aeyrin scoffed at her promptly. Did she come here just to bark at her? Seriously?

"Right, clearly," the Dunmer shook her head. "He was a jerk, I get it, but you have to snap out of this. It's like working next to a ghost. Even the ghosts don't have that dead-eyed stare."

"He wasn't a jerk," Aeyrin scowled. Why did Sevyen keep saying that? She said that a lot after Azshan left. "I was one."

Sevyen looked a little surprised by that statement, but she soon only waved her hand dismissively. "I hope you're not doing anything stupid like blaming yourself. What did you do to be one?"

Blaming herself for what? What was she talking about?

Oh, what was the point in talking circles around each other like this?

"I… I broke his heart," Aeyrin sighed in resignation. That was definitely what a jerk would do, even if she didn't intend it. Despite Master Therien's words, she still couldn't help but feel guilty about driving Azshan away. "I didn't know what else to do…"

"Oh really?" Sevyen smirked. "He didn't seem too heart-broken to me. I think he was fine, especially considering whom he was leaving with."

Wait, what? Whom he was leaving with? Lyera? What did that have to do with anything? Aeyrin only gave the Dunmer a confused look.

"Lyera. They were going to the same training place, right?" Sevyen explained. That part was clear.

"Y-yeah. I… I am glad he has someone he knows there but…" Aeyrin stammered, but Sevyen promptly interrupted her.

"I wouldn't worry that he's missing you too much, whatever you two got up to together. I'm pretty sure he moved on," the initiate rolled her eyes.

"What?" What was she talking about? How did she know anything about what happened at all?

"Alright, you clearly don't know," she sighed. "Fine, it's so obvious what people try to get away with here, but clearly not to everyone. Not to you. So here: the night before he left, some noises woke me up. I saw him and Lyera sneaking out of the bathing room together… I think you get the picture."

What? Out of the bathing room? What?

After he kissed her? After she rejected him, did he seriously try to… do things with someone else right away?

Aeyrin felt like her head suddenly began to spin. What did it even mean? Did she even hurt him at all or was he just trying to… do things he wouldn't be able to soon? With anyone? Or was he that hurt that he tried to seek ill-advised comfort somewhere? That was… that was the last thing she expected to hear.

And after all that blame, all that guilt, she felt a little… angry. Was there any reason for it all? Did she build it all up in her head? But then why would he be so cold to her the next day?

"Anyway, sorry about the jerk, but here's a letter for you from him," Sevyen smirked at her somewhat meanly as she reached inside the pocket of her robe and pulled out a sealed letter, handing it to her. It had the insignia of the Order Azshan had joined and Aeyrin's name on it. "A courier came by during the mass so I took it in for you."

He… he wrote to her. It must have been from him, who else would write to her from the Order?

Maybe this would finally hold some explanations. She was so confused right now.

Sevyen didn't say anything else when she saw how absorbed Aeyrin got in the letter. And by the time the Dunmer left the chambers, she already tore open the envelope and looked keenly at the contents.

.

My dearest Aeyrin,

I hope life at the chapel treats you well. I'm sorry I wasn't able to write to you sooner, but things have been really hectic around here. The training is exhausting, but I'm doing pretty well with it. And I finally got my shiny armor and big sword. Sometimes it feels a little stifling here with all that discipline, but it's not as bad as I feared. But there is still the best part. A few nights ago, we were actually invited to a big party in the City, to learn how to represent the Order properly and schmooze with the nobles. It was amazing. It was so much fun trying to get into the conversations they were having, steering them where we needed it. And I was really good at it. I always said watching the nobles at the Castle would pay off.

I miss a lot of things. I miss Chorrol, I miss the Oak, the wine (they are such sticklers about wine here) and I miss you the most. I hope you're doing well and that I'll get to see you again when I can. I'll definitely come to visit sometimes too, but it might take a while. I think I really have to finish the training before they let me loose on the world. But, despite what I miss, and despite the restrictions, this place is really amazing. I think I actually know what everyone was always talking about. I feel right here. Like I'm supposed to be here. And I can't wait to be knighted and get assigned to a contingent. It's going to be an adventure. And I can't wait to share it all with you.

Let me know how you're doing and how things are in Chorrol.

(almost Sir) Azshan

P.S. It will be so weird to sign my name like that.

.

What?

That… that was it?

No explanation, no apology, no chastisement. Nothing. It was like nothing ever happened.

Was she insane? Was it all in her head? Or did he really need some time? Or maybe he really needed to create some distance between them to make the departure easier.

Was this seriously it? That was… that was almost hard to believe. He sought out Lyera right after and now he wrote to her as if he had never ignored her or brushed her off at all.

She had been agonizing over him for a month! She was actually considering joining the Order just for him, just to make things right and to have him in her life again. And for what? All that for nothing? She didn't need to worry about any of this at all?

Aeyrin let out an involuntary chuckle. She wasn't sure if it was actual amusement or desperation.

But she suddenly felt so stupid. She blamed herself for everything, she thought she hurt one of the people that matter the most to her in an awful way. And now it was just… gone. Invalidated.

It… was kind of… funny.

She had thought about Master Therien's words a lot after their first talk when Azshan left. About how she shouldn't let Azshan and her guilt dictate her path. She was so unsure, but now she was just kicking herself for being so silly. He was right. Of course he was right. This was her life and she had actually considered subjecting herself to things she would definitely hate in order to not be alone.

That was… pathetic.

She was not alone. Even when Azshan was far away, even when she thought he was gone from her life, he wasn't. And neither would Master Therien be.

And suddenly none of it seemed so daunting.

Maybe she should think about the pilgrimage that her mentor spoke of more seriously. She did like the idea of seeing the world.

And her loved ones would still be here or there. Always within reach.

She looked at the letter again, shaking her head at herself as a smile fought its way to her face.

Azshan had clearly found his calling. And she would find hers.

But he wasn't her calling. And neither was anyone else.

It was going to be her own.

…

She looked at the letter in her hand with a wistful smile.

Two years ago, this letter changed everything. It gave her the kick that her beloved Master had been trying to give her for a long time. She still felt a little stupid every time she looked at it. But now, it was more of an amused memory of silly youth. Yes, it was only two years ago, but she still couldn't believe how much she allowed her brief 'affair' with Azshan go to her head.

Maybe it all needed to happen.

Maybe it was all meant to be to get her on this path.

It did reveal itself in the end.

She folded the letter again and stashed it into her belt-pouch. She was ready. The road spread out before her – her first steps into the world out there, outside the temple, outside Chorrol. Outside everything she knew, everything she had been through between those tall battlements.

It was terrifying. She was on her own, really on her own for the first time since she was taken into the chapel.

But she was not alone.

And when her eyes roamed over the horizon, over the lush trees, the White-Gold Tower, and the Ayleid ruins visible from here, it all called to her. The adventure. The exploration. The excitement.

She couldn't wait to see it all. She couldn't wait to experience it all and see what path would reveal itself for her on her journey.

She couldn't wait to see what the world had in store for her.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading!

I hope you have enjoyed this little prequel story of the dramatic teenage relationship and searching for purpose. There was not much action in this side story, but hopefully it was enjoyable nonetheless.

And as always, if you have any suggestions or requests for another character's story, lay them on me ;) No promises, but I will consider them and see if I can scribble something up. Or maybe some of them are already included or planned for the main fic too ;)

In any case, thank you again and I hope you'll all continue to enjoy the main fic :)