Chapter Twenty One

Kelly and her family were cat people. She had an intimate understanding of the way cats could wake a person up. It was dependent on the personality of the particular creature of course. She understood the morning serenade and she absolutely understood the rough sensation of a cat's tongue on her face. This morning she learned that while a dog's tongue wasn't necessarily as rough, it was a heck of a lot more slobbery.

"Oh my God, Charlie." Kelly mumbled, gently pushing the animal away from her face and then wiping the offending slobber away with the back of her arm.

There were cracks of light filtering through the blinds and one of the morning shows broadcast from the television set. She stretched and yawned, rolling her neck to get the crick out from having fallen asleep on the couch. The time clock on the television screen indicated it was nearly seven in the morning. Charlie watched her closely and she found it a little creepy. He was poised to spring towards whichever direction she went. She definitely had to let him out.

Kelly stood up, waved in the direction of the back of the house and said, "Alright, backdoor."

She let him out and made a point of filling his food and water bowls outside before shutting the door. He could spend some time outside, she wasn't in the mood to dog sit. Melissa hadn't made it home, at least not by the time she must have passed out. Kelly checked the master bedroom on the way back through the house and as she suspected her wife was nowhere to be found. She grabbed her phone from the coffee table in front of the couch and tried calling again. It must have been the fourth time she had called. She had wanted to call many more times, but knew it would only come across as desperate and stalkerish. She had to show restraint and trust. It was so hard to trust, especially with the radio silence she was experiencing.

Melissa was alone with Jane. Melissa had been alone with Jane all night. The images her mind conjured of the two of them left her feeling empty and alone. It was hard to believe there was an innocent explanation for the lack of contact. Even if Jane had fallen off the wagon. It didn't matter how badly those wheels fell off, there was little to no reason for Melissa to have not at least sent her a quick text in explanation. But she had received nothing. Zip. Nada.

Kelly couldn't help but mentally prepare for the worst, afterall she had been the one to set so much of it into motion. She had undermined Maura's trust in Jane. Despite her own very real fears. Was she about to fall victim to her own twisted machinations? Surely Melissa was stronger than that. The pang that shot through her stomach suggested otherwise. Her emotionally volatile wife with a habit of falling into bed with women to ease her distress was playing therapist to an emotionally distraught Jane Rizzoli. A woman that had some kind of ungodly hold over her wife, even if her wife couldn't see it. Fuck. Kelly slammed her fist into the couch cushion. Her entire body was bristling with distrust and agitation. Where the Hell was her wife?

The sound of a key in the front door caught her attention immediately. Kelly quickly made her way across the room. She met Melissa at the doorway into the hall. Her wife looked like she had seen a ghost. She was clearly shaken and yet she was refusing to make eye contact. Kelly's eyes closed and her head dropped. The ache in her gut only worsened, but she tried to keep an open mind. She had to give her wife an opportunity to explain. "Missy, are you alright? I've been worried."

Melissa stood there shaking her head with tears glistening in her eyes.

Kelly immediately felt the tension in her body rise to dangerous levels. It took more effort than she'd like to admit to stay calm. She didn't know anything. For all she knew something happened to Jane, not with her. "What's going on?"

"I'd have thought that was obvious."

Jane's snide comment cut through the silence. Kelly hadn't seen her enter. She had been so focused on Melissa. Her eyes snapped up to Jane's as she stepped alongside Melissa and placed a hand against the small of her back. What the fuck was happening? The sneer on Jane's lips caused her to take an involuntary step backwards. She glanced back over at her wife. "Missy? What's she talking about?"

Melissa didn't say a word. She simply leaned in closer to Jane. Alarm bells were going off in Kelly's mind as a result. Something had definitely happened and it wasn't looking good. She swallowed down some bile. A low grade ache started building in her chest.

"Honestly, I should be thanking you."

Jane's tone was far from thankful. It was antagonistic. It was dangerous. Kelly's hands clenched into fists. Jane was in for a rude awakening if she thought she could just take her wife from her without a fight.

"If it weren't for you I wouldn't have realised what had been staring me in the face all along. Only one woman has put me first, always. Only one woman has stood by me, Kel."

Kelly's eyes flicked towards Jane's hand as it entwined with Melissa's, a bold but cold declaration of battle lines being drawn. Everything slowed down for her as she processed what she was looking at. Her wife's left hand. Her wife's ringless left hand. It was too much. The ache in her chest started to pulsate angrily. She blinked a few times, shaking her head as if the vision of Jane taking Melissa's hand possessively wasn't permanently burned into her mind. Denial was the only friend she had. This had to be a practical joke. A very sick joke. Because she deserved that right? She'd fucked with Jane and now Jane was fucking with her. "Okay, very funny guys. Message received. I'm sorry for running my mouth. Just take your hand off of my wife now, please."

Jane leaned forward and shook her head very slowly. "It wasn't a joke last night when I held her tight. It wasn't a joke when we kissed. It most certainly wasn't a joke when we…"

Melissa yanked Jane's hand and shook her head. She hissed, "Don't."

Kelly flung her fist before she even had a conscious thought to do so. It crunched into Jane's jaw. The audacity of the woman was all too much. How dare she stand there bragging about touching her wife so intimately, even Melissa had enough sense to know enough was enough. "Get the fuck away from her!"

Jane's head snapped sideways from the impact and her feet stumbled a little before she regained her footing. Melissa immediately attended to her, making sure she was alright, which only rubbed more salt into the gaping wound that was Kelly's heart. Jane rubbed her jaw and leered at Kelly. "First one's free."

Kelly turned away for a moment to shake her hand, more than ready to throw down again if she had to. There was no way in Hell she was just allowing Jane to walk into the house she shared with her wife and speak to her like that. To try to do what exactly? Lay claim to Melissa? Not on her watch.

"I'm sorry Kelly. I didn't… I didn't know… I can't… I'm sorry."

Melissa sounded so sad. So regretful. This woman loved her. There was no way this could be real. Kelly closed her eyes and focused on her breathing in an attempt to push back the ache in her chest that was fueling her rage. Turning back around she tried desperately to meet her wife's gaze, following sullen blue eyes every time they shifted focus in an attempt to avoid her own desperate searching gaze. "Just because something happened doesn't mean I'm going to give up on you. You don't have to do this Missy. I know what we have is real. I know it. I forgive you, okay? I don't care what happened last night. Let's just sort it out and move on from it okay?"

Jane stepped forward into her space and roughly shoved her hand against her chest. She dropped the ring Kelly had given Melissa right in front of her and said, "Your comprehension skills are severely lacking, Kel. She doesn't want to sort it out. She's done with you."

Kelly immediately shoved Jane back. The woman had a death wish. The sheer audacity. What the fuck was she even doing here? She couldn't let Melissa break her heart gently? She had to just show up and force an uncomfortable truth down her throat? So much for friendship. She really didn't think Jane could be this selfish.

Her eyes fell on the ring and she knelt down to retrieve it. She held it and looked at it for several seconds that felt like they dragged on for eternity. She looked up through teary eyes from her knees towards Melissa. "This doesn't make sense. It's been a day. God, Missy. She doesn't love you. Can't you see that? She's just tryin' to get back at me for what I said to Maura."

"You damn well know that's not true," Jane growled, stepping forward into Kelly's personal space, towering over her with her chest puffed out like she was ready to go to war. "You've seen the way I look at her. I'm just finally shutting out all the noise and admitting to myself what it is. I'd do anything for this woman. Anything."

Kelly rose to her feet, shaking her head in utter disbelief. "No. Bullshit. I can't believe you would use Missy like this. All she's ever done is fuckin' care about you. Don't do this to her Jane. Don't get her hopes up. Don't make her think you can love her like you love Maura. Don't do that. She deserves better. She deserves the world."

Jane nodded and looked over at Melissa. "Yeah, she does."

Jane spoke with such reverence that Kelly felt like the rug had been ripped out from under her, but the look of absolute love and awe she saw in Melissa's eyes as she met Jane's gaze brought her entire world crumbling down. There was no faking that. That was the same kind of look she saw between them back in Boston years ago. It wasn't a sick joke. It wasn't payback. It was real. This was her worst fucking nightmare. She didn't know what to say because she had brought it all on herself. Her entire body deflated. There was no fight left in her because there was nothing left to fight for.

Melissa looked like she was going to be sick. It was obvious that she hadn't been expecting what had happened. She hadn't been expecting to be sucked back into Jane's orbit. Not that it changed anything. Kelly remembered all too well the way Melissa covered for the awfulness of Jane's actions back in Boston. The way she tried to justify Jane's heartless comment suggesting she kill herself. Hell, she herself was guilty of playing off Jane's behavioural concerns having not even thought twice about the way the woman had grabbed her arm at the bar earlier that same very night all to get another drink. And yet, despite seeing and experiencing all of that and knowing how different it was with her, her wife was still choosing Jane.

Kelly just stood there watching as Jane took her wife into her arms and comforted her. Jane whispered something into Melissa's ear, but it was unintelligible through the physical manifestation of her heartache shooting through every nerve ending. That was her wife. That was the woman she should be comforting. It shouldn't be Jane. It should be her. Of course they fit together perfectly. Of fucking course.

Kelly finally nodded, a broken woman. They were done. All that was left was to go home and file for divorce. "Just give me an hour and I'll be gone."

The sun was shining brightly and the temperature was already beginning to creep up, despite it not even being nine in the morning. Gabby didn't mind though, she was likely to be in and out of the office all day as she and Alec chased down a new lead on the Dyson murder investigation. She was at a coffee cart parked nearby in Civic Square looking to get some liquid energy for the day for herself and Alec when she noticed Senior Constable Jacob Hillenbrandt headed in her direction. He was easily a few inches taller than Alec and physically the guy looked like he belonged on a beach. Sandy haired, with striking blue eyes and a body she could tell he took care of. Handsome, but he had no personality and no work ethic for anything other than his body. At least not as far as anyone in the precinct had witnessed. The nepotism was strong with this one. In fact Gabby was pretty sure she would get better conversation from a turnip.

It was for that reason alone her entire body bristled apprehensively when he approached her. "Good morning, Senior Constable."

"Just the person I was looking for." Hillenbrandt exclaimed as he pulled up just short of Gabby. "What's up with Rizzoli? She called out, which is like the second time in three weeks. Her first three weeks."

Gabby couldn't stop her eyebrow from lifting in surprise. She wasn't sure if she was more surprised that Jane had called out the day after she had her heart ripped from her chest or that Hillenbrant actually appeared to be doing his job as a training officer. The fact he had actually paid attention to Jane's file was something she wouldn't have anticipated happening, ever. "I wouldn't have a clue, Jacob. I don't make a habit of sticking my nose in the business of other cops not directly under my purview."

Jacob shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, I just thought since you pulled strings to get her here instead of Queenstown that you guys were all buddy, buddy."

A decision she was already regretting. If she hadn't interfered it would have been a lot harder for Jane to get in Maura's bad books and her best friend wouldn't be feeling so heartbroken right now. Regardless, she found herself feeling instantly perturbed by his comment. She wasn't sure what his angle was, which was reason enough to be careful what she said. He was a lazy scrub, but he knew how to play politics. "You know how it goes Jacob, top brass have their favourites. She's one of them."

What was left unsaid lingered between them. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, presumably from feeling the sting of her observation. "Least she could do is show up," he muttered, picking the safe and conveniently absent target for his ire.

"I can assure you of one thing, Senior Constable. Constable Rizzoli is not the type to shirk her duties. If she's called in there's a very good reason. Now if that's all, I have a job to do." Gabby shifted her attention to the vendor and paid for the drinks she had ordered. She grabbed the two coffees and headed for the precinct. She was done with Hillenbrandt. She had more important things to think about.

"Detective?" Jacob called out, clearly not done with her. "I heard you left your missus. I was really sorry to hear that."

Gabby's stride faltered momentarily. He was goading her. She didn't know why and it was absolutely the last thing she needed after the weekend she'd had. The arrogant little twerp sure had a knack for pressing her buttons. She had half a mind to turn around and give him a spray but thought better of it. It would be better if she just kept walking.

She practically heard the smugness in his voice when he continued, "Though now that I think of it, didn't you and Rizzoli's fiancée used to have a thing? Maybe that's why Rizzoli didn't come to work today. You still got a thing for that gorgeous doctor lady, detective? Is that why you got that nasty bruise on your face?"

This piece of trash was cruising for a bruising of his own. Gabby whirled around and glared at him. If she hadn't been holding two expensive coffees she would have absolutely let fly a fist that would have done significant damage to her career prospects. "I don't know what your malfunction is, Senior Constable, but I suggest you see somebody about it. Because if you bring up Rizzoli's fiancée one more time…"

"Hey, what's going on here?" Detective Alec Morris asked, approaching their position from the precinct.

Jacob jammed his hands in his pockets and shook his head. "Nothing, I was just catching up with Detective Wilson here."

Gabby wasn't in the mood to play politics. "This arsehole was disrespecting Maura."

Alec glanced from his partner to the Senior Constable before glancing around the general vicinity. His eyes locked onto Jacob. "Get inside and do your damn job."

For whatever reason that made little sense to Gabby, Jacob did exactly as he was told. She didn't think there was anybody Hillenbrandt was too bothered by. That opinion changed as she watched him skulk away, throwing a dark look over his shoulder as a parting gift. She just shook her head to clear it of the instant rage his goading had conjured. She offered one of the coffees to Alec and said, "Here I got you this and thanks. You probably saved me from getting shoved away in a corner shuffling paperwork for the rest of my days."

Alec put his hand up to stop her from passing him the drink. "Hold that thought."

Gabby watched as he quickly turned and followed Jacob into the shadows of the trees that lined the path towards the back entrance of the precinct. She followed after them, curious. She winced when Alec doubled Jacob over with a punch to the gut and then followed up with an uppercut that floored the uniformed cop. She placed the coffees down on a knee high wall nearby and quickly sprinted over to the two men.

"Nobody messes with Wilson or her friends, you hear me?" Alec growled.

Gabby grabbed Alec by the arms and pulled him back; he was almost foaming at the mouth, standing over the top of the wide eyed, shaken, younger officer. "Damn Morris, calm down."

Alec shrugged free of Gabby's grasp, shook his head, turned and walked away. Gabby watched him head back towards Civic Square, it suddenly dawned on her precisely why he had sent Jacob back to work. It was so there would be cover for the consequences he wanted to dish out. At least her partner was smart enough not to do it in front of the public. She turned back to Hillenbrandt who was on his feet rubbing his jaw. "Don't get any funny ideas about running to daddy," she sneered, "Unless you want everyone to know you got put on your arse."

Jacob dusted off his pants and glared at Gabby. "I handle my own business. One of these days you won't have your bulldog standing guard. I'll handle it then."

Did he just threaten her? What the fuck was his problem? She didn't exactly expect Alec to hand out a hiding like that, nor would she have encouraged it. She could fight her own battles. Something she definitely had to remind him of.

Gabby stared Hillenbrandt down, never one to back down. "Bring it, kid."

Jacob met her gaze, eventually spitting at her feet before turning and heading inside the building. She let out the breath she didn't realise she had been holding. She turned back and wandered down the path, finding Alec with their coffees sitting on a nearby bench. She took her coffee and sat down beside him. They both stared directly ahead. "That was really stupid," she said quietly.

"Just a little," Alec agreed. "I don't think he'll say anything though. The son of a bitch cares too much what the guys think of him."

"If he really cared, he'd do his damn job properly." Gabby replied. She placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Stupid as it was, thanks for having my back."

"Anytime." He said, reaching his hand up to gently pat the hand on his shoulder a couple of times.

"You do know I can handle myself though, right?"

Alec shrugged and said, "I know. To be honest I've wanted to punch that guy since day one. I just finally had a good enough reason to do so."

Gabby chuckled. "You mean the smug friggin' face he walks around with isn't a good enough reason?"

"Now, now Wilson. Be gentle on the guy, he was born with a silver spoon up his arse." Alec turned and smiled slyly, "It's not his fault his face looks like that."

Gabby removed her hand from his shoulder and shook her head with a smile. "Alright old man, let's go and do that work thing."

"The thing Hillenbrandt pawns off every chance he gets?" Alec inquired all too innocently as he rose to his feet.

"Precisely," Gabby agreed, nudging Alec with her elbow to indicate he should get moving. They had a busy day ahead.

It had been a long night for Melissa, sleeping next to Jane, who aided by the drugs still in her system had fallen soundly asleep. Her mind hadn't been able to shut down. Kelly's smiling face danced across the back of her eyelids every single time she had closed her eyes, which in turn would lead to pangs of pain shooting through her chest. She would inevitably open her eyes and stare at the ceiling long enough every time for her eyes to adjust to the dark. The cycle repeated numerous times until the light filtered through the curtains and Jane stirred.

In the early morning Jane appeared a lot more alert and her stance hadn't changed. She would risk everything for her. To protect Kelly. To protect her chance at happiness. Melissa was very thankful, but also very sad for Jane. She didn't have the same faith in Maura's love that her friend did. How could she? She had walked away from Jane so her friend could be happy with the woman she truly loved more than life itself. Then the moment things got the slightest bit complicated, Maura had walked away from Jane. She would never have let Jane go in the first place if she had known that's how Maura would treat her.

They'd talked about how to minimise the fallout from pushing Kelly away and had settled on Jane taking the brunt of Kelly's ire through an arrogant attitude. That it was all inevitable. The hope was that Kelly would be so angry she would hold onto that anger for a while before truly feeling the pain of it. The last thing either of them wanted was for Kelly to skip anger and go straight to heartbreak. It would be a lot harder to convince her wife of the truth if she had time to sit with her pain. They could carefully plan as much as they wanted, but they were playing with a woman's heart. There were zero guarantees that the situation would be salvageable once the danger had passed. They could have always taken their chances with the truth, but she'd rather Kelly be alive and never get to hold her again, than to know she died horribly because she was too selfish to put her wife first.

It didn't really matter what they decided though, seeing Kelly's face the moment she walked into the house almost doubled her over with grief. Jane's hand against her back was the only thing that galvanised her to stand there and watch Jane basically claim ownership of her. It was cold and a little callous and she couldn't help it when she tugged at Jane's hand and stopped her from that final blow, which in its own way probably only confirmed that something happened when it hadn't. There was only so much she could stomach.

Kelly's punch came from nowhere and Melissa didn't even think when she reacted and checked on Jane. Her friend was truly taking the punches for her, and while there was no way known Kelly would have ever laid a finger on her like that, her friend was always going to be fair game given the circumstances. Clearly the anger was winning and that was a good thing, at least they thought it would be a good thing. Thankfully Jane seemed okay. If the scenario was real and not something they conjured up to convince Kelly there was no reason to stay in Launceston, she imagined Jane would have put Kelly on her arse in retaliation. She'd seen Jane's willingness to fight Gabby when she'd cold-cocked her out of nowhere. Kelly had no idea how fortunate she was that it had all been for show.

Melissa couldn't meet Kelly's eyes at any point, despite the guilt she felt. The horrendous gnawing guilt that left her knees feeling weak and her soul in tatters. Kelly wasn't going to take this lying down. She was fighting for her love. It was touching if not for the fact it only left Melissa feeling like the fall would be so much harder when it came. Was her relationship doomed? She met Jane's eyes when she turned to look at her, so grateful and thankful for her friend. Jane wasn't lying when she said she would do anything for her and she couldn't help but to show her appreciation with a soft look when their eyes met.

One quick flick of her eyes towards Kelly and suddenly Melissa had felt like it was the worst mistake of her life. They should have taken their chances with the truth. She swallowed nervously and felt the blood drain from her face. If Jane hadn't taken her into her arms and held her closely, she may have broken down and blurted out the truth. But instead Jane had whispered to her to stay strong, that it was for the best. She'd promised she would fix it. Melissa believed her. She had to. There was no other choice.

All of that had been over an hour ago and Kelly had been true to her word, within the hour she was gone and now she and Jane stood in the middle of the living room. Jane was clearly trapped in her own dark thoughts and Melissa knew she would fall to pieces if she didn't focus on Jane and her needs. "Are you alright Jane?"

Jane blinked a couple of times, her eyes eventually focusing on Melissa's. "I really just did that?"

Jane's apparent disbelief was confusing to Melissa. There was clearly more going on in her mind than she understood. "Yeah, you did. You took the brunt of it, I think. Her eyes were almost exclusively on you."

Jane nodded, but didn't speak. She started pacing back and forth, rubbing her face with her hands. Flexing her hands. Placing them on her hips. She ran the gamut of apparently not knowing what to do with her hands at all, which painted a picture of a restless woman.

Melissa sat down on the couch and took a moment to really think about what had happened. Kelly's anger had been visceral, but she'd also given up a lot quicker than she anticipated she would. She had been clearly hurt, but the anger did still remain the most obvious emotion she had witnessed. God, she hoped they were right going about it the way they had. She prayed that her wife would forgive her when the truth came out. If she didn't, then that psychopathic asshole would win. They couldn't let that happen. They had to figure out his overall goal quickly so that they could find a way to lure him to his downfall. He had to be caught. She had to be able to take Kelly into her arms again and apologise profusely for the deception. She just had to.

"Okay, good. Good." Jane was looking at her now, "I've absolutely guaranteed Kelly and I will never be friends again, but hopefully you two will be alright."

Jane actually looked sad about having blown up her entire friendship with Kelly, which was surprising given how antagonistic Jane had been towards her before Maura left, let alone after Maura left. Melissa felt bad for having not even stopped to consider that side of things. Jane really was stepping up for her. She smiled sadly at her friend, "I'm sorry Jane, I didn't even think that was something that mattered to you."

Jane waved the back of her hand dismissively. "It's not really that. I mean yeah I'd like to think that in time I would have gotten over my attitude issues with Kel and it sucks that this morning slammed that door closed, but that's not really all of it."

Melissa watched Jane sit down in the armchair opposite her. Her friend disappeared into her thoughts again. It wasn't exactly the easiest conversation, but it was apparent that patience was necessary in getting to the bottom of whatever was bothering her friend. There was such a long list of crap they were in the middle of that it could have been one of those things too. It could simply be about Maura. Jane could just be missing the love of her life. All four of their lives were wrapped around the finger of the Devil. He was pulling the strings. It would be natural for Jane to keep being drawn back to the woman she was unable to warn of the potential dangers lurking in the shadows. They were stuck in a really crappy situation. All they really had was each other.

"Real or not, I broke up a marriage today." Jane was looking at her again, a deep sadness settling in her eyes. "I feel sick to my stomach. Parading around like I disrespected the vows you two took…"

"Well to be fair Jane, we weren't exactly taking them seriously ourselves at the time." The last thing Melissa wanted was for Jane to get too deep in her head on the subject.

"Maybe, but Missy you two made a decision to take this marriage of yours seriously. You want to be married to Kel." Jane shook her head slightly, her head hanging a little lower, making her despondency quite obvious. "I did what had to be done, but fuck, Missy. I feel so sick about it. Marriage is not something I take lightly. It's kind of why this stuff with Maura has hit me so hard. She knows how I feel about marriage. It's meant to be a one time deal. You find that person and you commit to them. I was committed to her and you, you're committed to Kel, I can see that…"

"And Maura still thought you would cheat, or leave." Melissa finished Jane's thought for her. "I'm really sorry that you two have such a disconnect happening at the moment. Hopefully when all this is done, you can really talk it out. I know how much she means to you."

"She's everything to me, Missy. Is it me? Am I blind? Is it my fault that she feels so uncertain?"

Jane looked desperate for an answer. Melissa didn't think she had one she could give. Jane and Maura were simply built differently. Perhaps because of their upbringings. Perhaps because of their DNA. She didn't know why, she just knew that Jane was the kind of person who would give her everything to anyone she cared about if they were in trouble, no matter whether that love was romantic, familial, or platonic. If she loved you, she gave you everything. Maura came across as nothing more than possessive. Jane deserved more than that. She deserved a woman who understood the size of her heart, the dedication and loyalty she had to give to everyone that mattered, not just the one person. Hell, it's not like Jane doesn't worship the ground that Maura walks on either, so what is her problem?

There wasn't an answer Melissa could give that wouldn't be tainted by her own feelings. So she attempted to do the right thing by her friend. "I think that's something you need to talk to Maura about."

Jane shot her an unimpressed look before quite sarcastically saying, "Great, I'll get right on that."

Melissa sighed. "She doesn't like me much Jane and I sure don't like the way she's treated you. Therefore, I need to stay out of it. Because I don't think I can give you an unbiased answer."

Jane appeared to study her for a long time before turning her head away and staring so hard at the entertainment unit that it was almost unsettling. Melissa didn't know what her friend was now thinking, but it sure looked serious. It was fast becoming a day of feeling very out of touch. She wasn't used to feeling so out of the loop with what Jane was thinking. They used to be so good at understanding one another without words. Time and distance really had done a number on that aspect of their friendship.

"For what it's worth, I like who you are, Jane. There aren't too many people I've known that would be so selfless at a time like this. You've got a good heart."

"I just followed your lead Missy. You had the courage to try and save us and you did. People on the outside might think you didn't have a choice, and they'd be partially right, but you had one." Jane spoke quietly and when she turned to make eye contact Melissa recognised the haunted look. She'd seen it a few times from Jane back when they were getting to know one another. She'd also seen a similar look staring back at her in the mirror many mornings after vivid nightmares.

"The same choice I had the last time I ran into Hoyt. You could have given up. You could have just let it happen. Who could really blame you? I know what you went through. This guy might not be an apprentice of Hoyt, but for whatever reason he wanted you to experience the same level of terror."

Melissa swallowed down some bile. She really ought to make something to eat, but she was drawn to this moment like a moth to a flame. Her own mind peppered her vision with flashes from that night in Chicago and from the afternoon before, when he had stood so close she could smell his aftershave. "I did give up in Chicago. I didn't fight him. I was too scared."

Jane nodded slowly. "Trust me, I know how that feels."

This was the kind of conversation she needed to have. It wasn't exactly with who she thought she'd have it and it most certainly wasn't in the setting she thought either, but it was now or maybe never. Her heart rate had picked up and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was quite alert to the changes in her body brought on by the stress of thinking about that night, but she had to fight through it. Because what if there had been something she missed? What if there was something the police simply hadn't put in the report? What if there was a clue that could help identify this sick bastard? There wouldn't be another person in her life who could truly empathise with the trauma better than Jane. There probably wasn't a person that would make her feel safer either for that matter.

Melissa felt the cushion next to her sink and she blinked. She turned her head to see Jane sitting next to her, watching her closely, concerned. "Sorry what?"

"We don't have to talk about this right now, if you're not ready."

Jane was rubbing circles against her back, drawing her mind into the right now and bringing her a level of comfort she needed. She hadn't even heard Jane make any indication prior to that moment that she needn't talk about it. She must have been lost deep in her thoughts. Melissa managed a pained smile, "Sorry I was just back there and… I didn't even see you move across the room."

"That's okay," Jane's voice was soft and it brought Melissa a surprising sense of comfort. "Take your time and just know that it doesn't matter how you reacted in Chicago. It matters how you reacted here. I wouldn't be here if you weren't so brave. So thank you."

It wasn't bravery. It was desperation. There was no way Melissa could have allowed herself to watch him do to Jane what she had watched him do to Talia. There was a significant difference in the level of affection she felt for the two women and it was probably that more than anything that allowed her to speak, to beg, to bargain. To bury them in a hole so deep she wasn't sure they'd ever be able to climb out in time to prevent too much damage from being done to their significant relationships. "It was fear, Jane. Fear of being forced to watch him do to you what he did to Talia. What does it say about me that I could watch him do that to her? A woman I had been intimate with. I don't deserve… Just don't thank me."

"I'm sorry," Jane apologised, leaving Melissa feeling astounded and confused. "What happened in Chicago mattered, I shouldn't have demeaned that. I just meant that you went through something horrendous. The fact that you had to face your fear and found a way out of it this time? That matters. You're not evil because you didn't fight harder for Talia. You're human. I will never condemn you for being afraid, Missy. Not. Ever."

Melissa felt the tears begin to tumble down her face. Jane may not have condemned her, but she had condemned herself. It was yet another little thing that had been building since that night left her the mess she had become. The work she had been doing since Kelly had joined her in Launceston felt like it was unravelling. How the Hell was she supposed to live with her cowardice that night? How was she supposed to live with the way she treated Kelly leading up to and after that night? Especially now after the latest necessary heartbreaking action. What about every little thing she had put Gabby through? Someone who remained one of the most important people in her life and always would regardless of the changed nature of their relationship with one another. Now Jane. Now Jane was risking everything that mattered, for her, because she was too afraid to fight that night. When was enough going to be enough?

Melissa stood up. She'd been feeling it and sometimes saying it, all along. She should have died that night. It would have been better for everyone. "I can't do this."

"No, no, no." There was an urgency in Jane's voice as she jumped up and grabbed Melissa by both shoulders. "Don't go there. Don't bury yourself in guilt. You're a survivor, Missy."

"Why not?" Melissa yelled before calming herself enough to continue, "Can't you see? This is all my fault. This sick bastard hates me. His plan was to make me suffer watching him rape and annihilate Talia, telling me I'd be next. He wanted me to know true terror and now he's making deals? Think about it Jane. He's punishing me. He knows how to fuck with me. He comes for you. He threatens you, Kelly and Gabby. He's not some sicko obsessed with any of us sexually… he just, he fuckin' loathes me."

Jane's hands rubbed up and down Melissa's arms, in an apparent attempt to calm her. She hadn't flinched when Melissa had yelled and she nodded her head slowly, as if she were genuinely considering Melissa's theory. Finally she said, "I mean, it's as good a theory as any I have, but if that's the case, why would he want me to stay away from Maura?"

"It's fuckin' perfect torture Jane. This guy, he knows me so intricately. He knows the guilt of keeping you from Maura is probably the greatest torture of all. He's making me responsible for hurting the one person who has always had my back and never really judged me. I push my wife away and the only person I have left right now because of every little decision I've made since his attack, is you. Think about it Jane."

"I dunno Missy, I think you're just feeling guilty because of Kelly this morning and Talia that night. It's more likely he's obsessed with Maura and only went after you as some sort of weird payback for us having been together in the first place. Now he's just using you to keep me from her because he doesn't think I deserve her."

"Jane, that's absurd."

"Exactly. Just like your theory. They both fit. But, they're both absurd. This situation we're in is fucked up. The last thing either of us should be doing is blaming ourselves. Do you understand me?"

Jane looked so seriously at her that Melissa had no choice but to nod. She still felt like shit. She still felt guilty. She still blamed herself. She just knew she had to keep trying. She couldn't give up because it hurt. They were both hurting. They were both in this weird predicament. They were the only ones that could figure this out and fix it. She couldn't abandon Jane because things were getting hard. That would make her no better than Maura and she refused to ever hurt Jane like that.

"You're right," Melissa said firmly in an attempt to hype herself up. "I know you're right."

"Good. Now I know it's hard, but we have to talk about yesterday and that night in Chicago. I need to know what you remember."

Jane wasn't playing games anymore. She was serious. Down to business. It had to be done. Melissa nodded and sat back down, waiting for Jane to join her. "Okay, um, is there anything specific you're looking for?"

"Let's start with the basics. How tall? Did you see hair colour? Eye colour?"

Melissa closed her eyes and thought back on the night before, focusing on the less violent of the two encounters. It all still felt like a bit of a blur, she struggled to focus on anything other than the fear she felt. "He was taller than me, um, I dunno exactly how tall. Definitely a few inches or more, um… I dunno Jane. He always had, like a mask and a ball cap on. Both times. All black."

"What about his eyes? You must have gotten a real good look yesterday?"

They were so blue. Not typical blue like hers were, they were brighter, very distinctive. Haunting. Terrifyingly expressive. "Blue."

Jane gently rubbed her back and spoke encouragingly, "You're doing real good. Just take your time and breathe. Breathe in and out a few times for me," Jane motioned with her hand and did the same breathing exercise herself. "That's it, nice and easy. You're okay. You're with me. He can't hurt you."

"His voice… it was deep and raspy, but it felt like he was putting it on. I don't think he normally talks that deep. I dunno, it just seemed off."

"Okay that's good. You're doing great. What else can you tell me about him or that night?"

Melissa shook her head. It was getting harder to focus on that night, she just kept seeing flashes of the scalpel as he used it to slice, stab and torture Talia. He had a little flair about him, always looking over at her, making sure she was paying attention. "Oh my God Jane. He's Australian. I never thought about his accent before, because I'm just so used to people sounding like me. It never even occurred to me back in Chicago."

"Okay, okay. So our suspect pool just dropped from 160 odd million to 11 or 12 million, that's great." Jane sounded genuinely enthusiastic. "You did great, Missy."

Melissa sighed. In her mind there wasn't much difference between 160 million and 12 million. "Might as well be a needle in a haystack."

"No. Reality is we probably already know this guy. One of us does, guaranteed. His knowledge of the intimate workings of our friendship circle is too good. He's probably watching us, but he has a source."

"Only guy I have anything to do with on any level like this is Brad and he's a little busy doting on a dying father and the wrong skin colour. The guy is white. I could tell that much from what little of his face I could see." Melissa was starting to feel a little more hopeful, despite being aware that they were still just untested theories being bandied about. She felt helpful for the first time since the ordeal had taken place.

"There you go, another thing you remembered."

Melissa thought Jane was doing a great job at playing cheerleader. "What about you? Any Aussie guys that are even close to your inner circle?"

Jane shrugged. "Not really. I mean, I'm not exactly out there lookin' to make new friends. I got my people in Boston and I have you and Maura's whole group here."

"Well maybe he's just stalking us, Jane. Maybe it isn't someone we know?"

Jane pursed her lips and rubbed her chin. Her eyes narrowed. She looked like she was coming up with a theory. "Or it's someone Maura, Gabby or Kelly know."

"I'm not sure Kelly knows any guys here. I mean, I know she had a brief fling with some chick here years back, but I don't think it's linked to her at all. Not with the demands. They're so weird. Should we ask Gabby about it? Shouldn't we talk to her?"

Jane shook her head. "He said no cops didn't he?"

"Does Gabby really count?"

"Can't really chance it. We're on our own with this one. We should definitely look into both her and Maura's acquaintances and friends, but quietly. They can't know."

Melissa let out a long sigh. Detective work felt like it was just throwing a bunch of ideas at a wall to see what sticks. "We have to start somewhere I guess."

Jane nodded and afforded her half a smile, there was some hope staring back at her in those soulful dark eyes. Melissa smiled softly, she too felt that there just might be some sunshine poking through the clouds. Their eyes locked and her sense of feeling safe and protected had never been stronger, but a sense of dread slowly crept along her spine as she realised Jane's eyes shouldn't look so damn beautiful.

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for being patient with me. I hope I didn't take too long between updates. Still a lot going on here and I am doing my best to try and push through. Thank you for hanging in there with me and for sharing your thoughts. This universe is a true labor of love and I know I put you all on an emotional roller coaster, but the ride will end eventually, and hopefully it will have been strangely satisfying. I truly appreciate you all more than you know. Thank you.

Oh I know you have thoughts. Lay it on me. At this point I need all the encouragement I can get because life is not being kind to me elsewhere. So hit me with how you feel about the characters and their choices and their hearts and all of it. Thanks again.