Day 5 (Or That Time The Heroine Confessed To The Guardian And Experienced The Falling Into Love: A Special Edition Valentine's Day DLC Part II Electric Boogaloo)

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and receiving different results."

— Albert Eindouche, Earth Z-420

I grabbed Nex's arm, keeping him standing as an earthquake shook the chamber, the aftermath of Fiona's chuuni-fied spell filling the space with thick, black smog.

"C'mon, edge lord!" I screamed, shaking him out of his my-daughter-just-died stupor. "We gotta haul ass!"

He nodded, and then we were off. I didn't look back. The roof caved in, crushing the statue before the altar. The pillars splintered and cracked, the sound snapping at our heels as we dashed out the doors, blazing rays stinging my eyes.

"Archer!" Weiss said, leaping after Fiona—who was already flying across the city, ferried by glyphs of all sizes and colours. "Wait!"

"Riiiiiight, leave me alone, why don't you," I muttered, dogging after the first person I could find in the chaotic mess. "You're not gonna leave me, too, are you? I'm, like, a super slow tank, you know."

Leli flashed me a strained smile, her pace slowing down a tad. "Of course not, my friend. Who else can shield us from a high dragon's mighty blows?"

"Inky," I said, casting the mage next to her a fleeting glance. We scrambled down the street, blades and magic flashing as we cut down the monsters lying in our path. "She's, like, a super strong mage, isn't she?"

"Aye!" Inky giggled. "She's a super strong mage!"

"If only she were a little more modest, too," Leli said, heaving an exaggerated sigh. "You don't know how terrible she gets when she's drunk. Not yet anyway," she whispered.

Oh, but I do. I can picture it anyway. I've been to enough of my sister's parties to know.

Ciana let out a disgusted snort, blasting away a crumbling wall with a fist made of ice. "And you don't know how terrible it was growing up in her shadow…"

Inky frowned as we turned a hard left, a wave of white fire gushing from her staff incinerating a swarm of Lancers. "It wasn't my intention to make you feel small, eh? Never, big sister."

"Hmph." Ciana glowed blue, hovering away, distancing herself from Inky. She sent a blackened icicle through a Nevermore's throat. "You say one thing, yet your actions speak otherwise, sister."

"Geez, Ciana," I said, flinging an Arcane Bolt at a Beowolf, setting it on fire. "Like, you sold your soul to an eldritch abomination and who knows what else because you were… jealous?"

Come on. She's gotta have more motivation than that. I'd never think of selling myself to an eldritch abomination just because lil' sis has a better social life and plays better Poker… Wait, that last bit miiiiiight be quite the incentive. I have shitty luck, okay? Sue me.

"And what of it!" Ciana roared. Her staff turned towards me, before she aimed it at a crowd of zombies instead. "You know nothing! Nothing of my struggles, my suffering!"

"I know enough to know that what you're doing is wrong," I said.

Geez. Like, I have enough self-awareness to know that I'm being cheesy as fuck. But at least I sounded cool, right?

"Your selfish deeds endanger not just our world, but other worlds," Leli said. "Eir is correct. Perhaps, your temptation here is the worst that you have accomplished yet."

"Then strike me down, Nightingale!" Ciana said. "Your blades and arrows against my magic!"

A pitch-black portal swirled in front of her, almost as if waiting for her to take the plunge. Ciana summoned it. Still, she didn't move so much as an inch. The portal looked just like the one Korvi's cultists used to summon Ti. And Korviliath, too, the very same night Akane and I first met. Did all portals ferrying people across the multiverse look the same?

"The space between worlds possesses a natural absence of colour. Hence, black to your perception."

Well. Good to know.

"Gladly," Leli said as the pregnant silence passed, her onyx daggers gleaming with the intent to kill. "Give me a moment, ma chèrie."

Inky barred Leli's path with the shaft of Andraste's Pyre. "No," she whispered. "Stay 'yer blade, amatus."

"Uh, hello?" I said, pointing at Ciana with my bloodsword. "There's, like, three of us and only one of her."

"We be owing her a debt," Inky said. "I couldn't have brought y'all back without her, eh?"

Something tells me that isn't an excuse at all, judging by the scowl on Leli's face.

"Don't patronise me, sister," Ciana said. Her staff made an audible creak in her grip. "If you let me go… You will regret it."

"Then I be regretting it someday, eh?" Inky said. She swept Andraste's Pyre at the portal. "Go, now, before your master becomes aware of your failure."

Ciana scoffed, vanishing into the void. "He already knows, sister. Farewell," she said, her last words all wobbly like she was speaking underwater.

"Isn't that… kinda like sending her to her death?" I said, Ciana's portal winking shut. "I don't think eldritch abominations are very forgiving, are they?"

Unless you're Ti, apparently. Is it because he's a Herald? That hardly seems fair, right?

"Ah, but my sister is a wily coyote," Inky said as we resumed our mad sprint, a breath of magical wind—Mass Haste and Divine Strength—filling our legs with the limber of a cheetah.

"Too wily," Leli said.

"We'll get her next time, eh?" Inky said, a dumb grin stretching her cheeks.

Leli sighed. Her daggers whirled as she blitzed through a corridor of zombies, chopping their heads off—pretty much clearing the way for us in an instant. "I apologise. She may be your sister, but…"

But it's our job. And we… We have to do it regardless of what we feel. Emotions are prohibited and all that jazz.

Fiona's request—if you could even call it that—crossed my mind.

"'...my beloved should slay me with her sword of the most powerful,' Fiona said, smiling. 'I will resist the song of corruption—and look into thine eyes—so you might deliver the final blow and receive the Maiden's boon.'"

Goddamn it. I don't need you to narrate what she said, Guide. I can do my own anime flashbacks. I remember exactly what she wants me to do. That's what happens when you think about your edgy girlfriend asking you to kill her a little too much, in your deepest, darkest, and most private moments.

Honestly? It's enough to make a snarky ass like me cry. Which I'll promptly do as soon as no one's looking—or reading, thank you very much.

A Taijitu's roar dragged me out of my misery, its tail, the size of two cars stacked together, slamming onto the path ahead. It reared its head, hissing, its fangs dripping with a steaming, purple sludge.

"It's blocking the gates," I said. "Screw it."

There's our ticket to freedom, now all we need to do is kill—

A beam of light struck its underbelly.

Inky vaporized the giant snake, not even giving it time to scream. "Imma firin mah lazer!" she screeched, thrusting Andraste's Pyre towards it like a toy.

I rolled my eyes. "Like, seriously?"

Leli snickered. "Come now. Surely Fiona has uttered the same words before?"

"Not yet, no," I said. "I'm praying she doesn't. Ever."

Like, she's overflowing with cheese already. Any more and she'd fit right inside a bucket of popcorn, or a couple dozen of them.

So, anyway, we walked out of Arcadia. Explosions rang behind us as the city sank into the sands, but we didn't look back. Of course we didn't. Cool guys never looked at explosions. Why should we be any different?

No-sir-ooo. Like, that's the cardinal rule of an action hero.

We gathered on the outskirts of the giant sinkhole that had once been Arcadia. Little Miss Schnee-byou stumbled off her glyph and crashed against me. I steadied her before she fell off the face of Remnant, sinking into the mire below. No, really. I could see it—barely—a bedrock of black tentacles writhing like a pit of snakes, swallowing the remains of Arcadia.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who can see it. And Inky and Leli. Us three, the real Men in Black.

"You alright?" Nex asked Fiona, her wounds all healed up—enough that not even scars remained. "You looked kinda… dead."

Fiona smirked and lifted her chin. "Hmph! Fret not, father! 'Twas but a flesh wound!"

Riiiiight. Not telling your dad about your dark bloodline and how you're secretly related to the big bad of the whole fucking planet, huh? Salami—no, wait Salem, was it? I can dig that. I hate being spoiled of any future prophecies and life-changing quests, too.

"It be impressive watching her rise again, eh?" Inky said. "Like a phoenix, eh?"

"Indeed!" Fiona said, puffing her chest out. "'Twould be naught but the phoenix of the fairest of course!"

Leli giggled, thoughts of how idiotic Fiona was probably going through her head.

I groaned, muttering, "Like, don't feed the werewolf."

Hesus. What if she thinks I'm lame and cheesy too? Ugh. I'm gonna have to be the one who introduces us when we finally meet up in the sequel, and not Fione… It's better that way.

"So that's it then," Weiss said.

Yeah, like, that's it. We were never gonna stay, no matter how Weiss wished for it. We still had a mission—and a time-travelling, world-hopping, planet-distorting monster to kill. If we don't, if we falter, then everything we've done before would be, like, a giant waste. And I hate waste as much as the next Guardian.

Ruby tugged at Blake, clutching her by the elbow. "We'll miss you," she said. "Blake, too."

Blake winked at me with a bitter smile. "Yeah, right. Have fun reading."

You mean…

Come to think of it, my back-pocket's feeling a little tighter than usual. Did she slip me the book while I wasn't looking?

I laughed, stroking my beard in victory. "Like, what reading? I ain't got any books on me, Little Miss Cat Girl. No siree."

Blake smirked. "Sure."

Fiona crouched down to my knees, poking my ass—no, I meant my secret book. "Found it," she whispered.

I flushed and batted her hand away, discreetly. Leli's amused gaze hung over me like a cloak of shame. My shoulders almost sagged under the crushing weight of my hopes and dreams.

"So, uh..." Qrow said, trailing off, as if he wasn't exactly sure what to make of us. "What'cha gonna do now?"

"We be returning to our worlds, eh?" Inky said. "Methinks I'm terrible at goodbyes, so Leli shall be saying it for me, eh?"

Leli smiled. Gracefully. Like an angel. It made my heart expand by three sizes, then shrink down by six, imploding into a blackhole from which no light could ever escape as she said farewell.

Oh, Leli. Inky. We had so little time together, and you didn't even get the chance to give me tiny spoilers…

I sniffled into the bloodied cuff of my shirt, hiding the tears before anyone could notice.

"However will we explain this mess, ma chérie?" Leli said.

Did Lorekeepers fill out reports like corporate clerks? For once, I'm incredibly thankful that I'm a Guardian instead.

"Eh, we be figuring it out as we go," Inky said. "Now then, amatus. On to our vacation. According to me bestie's super-secret brochure, there be this super-secret hot spring in..."

They strolled away, towards Vacuo, scaling a tall dune with the red sun on their backs. Inky knelt as they reached the summit. With the splendour of royalite silver, she burst into brilliant rays of white. Four clawed limbs stomped on the steep curve, kicking up a cloud of sand. A thick, reptilian tail smashed a boulder into dust. Inky the Black-White Dragon craned her serpentine neck and roared, winking and grinning at us, eyes blazing with green fire.

Observe.

Incitatia Hessarian (Arch Dragon) — ?

Keeper of the Flame

Demon Huntress

Level 108

Oh, look. She gained a level.

…

How the fuck is she a dragon?!

"Personal Skill: Shapeshifting. Rank: S."

Right. I remember now. Why am I even surprised… Does Fiona have it on S-Rank, too? And she's been trolling me all this time by letting me fall to the uncertainty of death?!

"Negative. Fiona Schnee has Personal Skill: Shapeshifting at A-Rank. Transformations to creatures at the level of dragons are only unlocked at S-Rank."

Good. That means I don't have to chew her out. Yet.

Leli hopped onto Inky's back, her scales shimmering as they flew towards the sun.

"Ah, yes, the good ol' draco express," I said, sighing. "Now I'm, like, wondering when our lift's gonna be here."

Hey. Arkhalla? You there? Mind taking us back to whatever Remnant you snatched us from? I kinda forgot the numbers on our Weiss' world.

Fiona grinned. "Hurry not, beloved," she said. "'Twas aught a long time since we had a moment to ourselves, is it not?"

"Yeah, like, you're right," I said. "I really wanna take a break before—"

A black portal swirled in front of us, our very own Edgy Rose hopping out of the void, the crimson frills on her dusky coat billowing in the wind.

"Oh, come on!" I said, stamping my foot. "It's like you timed that on purpose, Edgy."

"Huh," Edgy said, scanning us with her sensors. "Wasn't expecting you'd be here, noob lord."

Ruby—their Ruby, not our edgy one—gasped. "You're—you're me!" she said, stuttering as she sped around Edgy, rose petals spraying everywhere. "It also turns into an axe! And a scythe! Oh! And a sword! And it's also a katana! A flaming katana!"

Guess what body part of herself Ruby's fondling. Trick question, I know.

I smiled. "Like, you don't know the half of it. Geek."

Edgy pried her flaming katana away from Ruby, morphing it back into a cannon. "Shut up, noob. Really was a pain in the ass finding you."

"How'd you make it?!" Ruby practically screamed in Edgy's face, all smiles unlike her stoic future self. "It's super, duper cool! Is this yours?! Can I have it? Pretty please?"

"This rusty thing?" Edgy said, rolling her eyes—the only sane reaction to meeting a shorter, hyperactive version of you, I guess. "You don't wanna make it yourself?"

Ruby's cheeks flushed redder. She chuckled, saying, "Kinda. Can I use it as a reference?"

"Sure," Edgy said. "Nice seeing you, team leader. Weiss. Blake. Qrow."

Nex shrugged. "Got tired of the short hair, huh?"

Edgy smirked, twirling a lock of red between her fingers. "Yang's idea," she said. "Where's she?"

"Not here," Nex said.

Edgy eyed something a little down below. "What's with the abs?"

Riiiight. That. I wasn't looking, I swear. Nope.

Nex chuckled. "What's with the tie?"

Edgy didn't say anything, choosing to remain silent, letting the question hang with a noose around its neck.

But... I knew the answer. The tie. It wasn't something she had on last time. It was something she must've taken from Whitley's wardrobe. The white fabric. The deep blue stripes. It didn't even look good on her red-and-black outfit. No. Rather, it screamed Schnee—the Schnee who married a Rose. A blue rose, the reference slipping my mind at the moment.

I guess we all have our own little ways of coping with death, don't we?

A sigh slipped between my teeth and warmed my inexplicably cold lips.

I've been coping, too. With my death, and the deaths I've seen, felt, and heard. The deaths I've personally dealt with my blade. You're not alone, Edgy. None of us are. We're all in this together.

"See you?" Nex asked.

"Yep," Edgy said. "You two done?"

"Like, I think Little Miss Schnee-byou has something to say to her parents," I said, poking Fiona's cheek. "The real ones, this time."

"Oh?" Weiss said. "What is it?"

"I…" Fiona trailed off, swallowing her words.

I grinned, cradling Fiona by her shoulders and ever so gently nudging her towards her parents. "Come on. Like, it's your chance."

Fiona stared at her parents, blinking, her eyes moist and watery pools of sparkling sapphire—and I totally wasn't in love. "But mayhaps we are lacking of the time, Guardian!"

"She's right," Edgy said, nodding.

"Fuck that noise," I said. "We can, like, spare five minutes before the next arc or something."

Even though it means delaying my long-awaited vacation… I mean, it's not ever yday that you get to talk to your dead parents, right? This will be good—even therapeutic—for Fione. Like, trust me.

Fiona waddled towards her parents, like a damned penguin, after what seemed to be a long dream. "I love you…" she murmured, her voice trembling and weak. "I love you," she said, this time, her voice louder and brimming with strength.

Nex froze, looking a lot like a stray wolf.

Yeah, me too. Me too, Nex. Me, too.

Weiss swept Fiona into a hug, like she didn't ever want to let go—but she knew she had to.

God. I wish I can take a picture of them. To tease her about it later, of course. And show it to her younger self. Ugh. If only I didn't lose my scroll…

"Getting cold feet?" Blake whispered, standing behind Nex.

Nex shrugged. "Literally."

"Let me help," Blake said, grinning.

I snickered as Little Miss Cat Girl shoved Nex towards his future wife and kid, his arms spreading open as he crashed into the hug.

That's one way to get an edge lord to show affection, I guess. Good job, Blake. You're making me so damn proud.

"You know, Archer," Weiss said. "You can stay."

Fiona sniffled, definitely crying into Weiss' chest. "Hmph! Impossible! For the Guardians have need of this Heroine!"

Yeah, like, no. We can always get another Support. It's not like we need a Mystic Bard or anything. Like, maybe we can get a Nightingale or have our Paladin do double duty… or not.

Weiss chuckled. "I see. Well, you're a grown woman."

Uhhh… what's your definition of grown again?

Weiss patted the dust off Fiona's shoulders, much like how mom did it, back in the day when she fetched me from the academy of silk-pants princes and stuffy princesses, accompanied by an entourage of cyborg knights.

"You're perfectly capable of making your own decisions," Weiss said. "Just know that should you wish it, you'll always have a home with us."

Nex shot me a look. A meaningful one. I nodded back.

Like, there's no way I'll let anything happen to her. Your daughter's safe with me, edge lord. Well, as safe as my shitty LUK lets her be anyway. Promise.

Fiona smiled, her eyes practically glowing. "Farewell, mother. Mom. Dad. Mayhaps our paths will do the crossing again someday."

Mayhaps, mayhaps not. Geez. She's making this wayyyyyy more dramatic than it should be. Like, we can come visit after we prevent Korvi from destroying her world and I grind to my third Ascension.

Who knows how fast I'll level up—or how much EXP I'll gain—after, like, saving the world? I reckon a lot. Probably enough to jump fifty levels straight, considering my first Incursion—where I practically solo-farmed a raid boss and jumped thirty levels.

Nex ruffled Fiona's hair more, saying, "Go save the universe. Or whatever it is you Guardians do."

Fiona grinned. "Hmph! But of course! 'Twould be a bright day in the Void should the Guardians of the Unknowing fall!"

Not to mention it'll be the end of your world—and a shit ton of other worlds.

I smiled, chuckling as Fiona hopped, skipped, and jumped towards me. She locked her elbow with mine, dragging me by the heels into Edgy's portal. It shut quietly behind us, hissing, as soon as the Shadowslayer came through.

We ended up on a beach, the southern winds wonderfully hot and the crystal-blue waters—teeming with people in varying degrees of modesty—sparkling under a radiant sun.

{New World! Remnant A-407!}

"Welcome to paradise," Ruby said. "Or heaven on earth."

Yeah, like, I can't believe there's a beach party next door.

…

I can't believe there's a beach party next door!

"Surprise!" our Weiss said, dressed in a surprisingly modest swimsuit, blue with yellow frills all around. She smiled and shoved plastic bags into our hands, Fiona's eyebrows furrowing as she held on to hers. "We're having a vacation!"

I grinned. "So… this is why Edgy was in a hurry. Nice."

"Don't think about it, noob lord," our Ruby said, her nanotech clothes stitching themselves into a tight two-piece. She glared at a man as he tried to make a pass at her, the murderous look in her eyes wetting his red trunks—and I couldn't help myself from snickering.

Akane clapped my shoulder, her pink Hawaiian shirt swaying along with the leaves of the coconut trees. "So, how'd your solo adventure go?"

"It was therapy," I said. "For Fiona, mostly. But we managed to save the day in the end."

"Indeed!" Fiona said, smiling widely. "Oh! The Guardian of the most gallant charged fearlessly into dragonfire itself! Why, this Heroine believes that songs—nay, epics would be someday sung of her boldness and bravery—"

I clamped a hand over her mouth. "Okay, Little Miss Chuuni. I think they've got the point. Like," I said, smirking, "I'm super badass now."

Akane sighed quietly, muttering, "You are, huh?"

"What's that, Taurus?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Akane said.

Weiss latched on to Ruby, dragging her away for some reason. "You have to introduce me," she said, giggling. "He's here on this beach somewhere, isn't he?"

"No promises," Ruby said, rolling her eyes. "He doesn't like Weiss Schnee. None of y'all. Remember?"

Oh.

Oh.

I couldn't stop myself from giggling too. "How'd this happen?"

"Well, Ruby needed an infinite power source to go looking for you, mate," Akane said. "Turns out, the Guardian of this world has a relic that fits the bill just right."

"And they're friends," I said. "With Edgy."

"Something like that," Akane said.

Edgy has friends?

I snickered.

Unbelievable.

"Where's the littler Schnee?" I said, keeping track of Fiona who slipped into the gals' showers.

"We left her back in Weiss' castle," Akane said. "Jacques may or may not think that she's his grandkid."

"Hesus," I said. "And?"

"She has thirty servants at her beck and call, a personal squad of assassins, and a wizard who's supposed to be teaching her magic," Akane said. "Though she's mostly playing hide and seek with her new friends… Yeah. I know."

"Geez, that's, like," I said. "Weird. Not to be looking the gift horse in the mouth, but aren't Jacques and Weiss supposed to be on bad terms?"

"Look, mate, when you've only got one heir left, and dozens of political enemies," Akane said, "then you don't have much of a choice, yeah?"

I chuckled, basking in the sounds of laughter and waves rolling against the shore.

"Eir," Akane said, dragging me back from my reverie. "I can't stay."

"What?" I said. "What do you mean?"

"Our party's fun and all, but…" Akane said. Her lips pursed as she stared at my ragged shoes. "I'm just dragging y'all down."

"Seriously?" I said. "Dragging us down? Like, you're Akane freaking Taurus. You're—"

"The real noob around here," Akane said. "Only at L38 and I've been a Guardian for more than a year. You've already reached L45 in, what? A week tops?"

"That's… not a very fair comparison, you know," I said.

Is it?

"Yeah, because you're so much better than me, I get it," Akane said.

"No way. Like, I may be right ninety percent of the time," I said. "But that sure as hell doesn't make me better than you. Or anyone."

"Weiss can buff more than I can," Akane said. "She can heal, too. Plus she has a Limit Break."

"Well, yeah, but I don't think she can slice and dice like you, right?" I said.

"Please," Akane said. "Ruby and Fiona slice and dice better than me, mate."

"This is, like, a beach party, Aka," I said. "Not a pity party."

"Yeah, you're right," Akane said, smiling. "I'm sorry. I never should have been here… Involved in this quest."

"What about Ti?" I growled. "Don't you wanna avenge Blake?"

"Fat chance," Akane said, snorting. "I'm not… I'm not strong enough. I'll just get one-shotted. Again."

She walked off, leaving me to wilt in silence.

For the first time, I was at a loss for words. Yes, me, the snarkiest gal you'll ever meet in your life. At a sudden loss of words. It's a goddamn miracle.

Like, what's her problem? The sudden realisation that she's becoming obsolete? Like that one party member that's useful in the beginning but gets benched in the end? I mean, by that logic, aren't we all? Fiona fucking Schnee can probably solo Korviliath while we sit in a house drinking tea. Hell! Incitatia "Magnus Dei" Hessarian can probably drink tea and solo at the same time, with or without—

I pinched my nose, sucking in a dose of the salty summer air mingling with the tang of rust on my blood-caked fingers.

I don't want to think. What I want is to change out of this armour, dive straight into the sea, and somehow find a way to read a book in the depths of the abyss.

But… I'll feel like an asshole if I left one of my friends sulking and feeling all alone—unwanted. I've been there before. It's that existential dread creeping through your veins like a shot of morphine, numbing you to the light flitting across your window and the breeze stroking your skin. All because the blinds are closed and the curtains of your life are drawn, dousing your eyes in darkness.

I guess… What I really want is to help a friend, even if, you know, it's too late to help myself.

"Hang in there, Aka…" I mumbled. "You're not alone."

"Beloved! Pray! Thou art yet of the unchanged!" Fiona screeched, clutching a towel around herself. She stared at my armour—and my distinct lack of beachwear. "Mayhaps thou art feeling of the shyness?!"

"Not now, Fione." I sighed. "Not now."

Fiona curled her nose up. "Is… is something the matter?"

"It's Akane," I said. "Did you catch where she went?"

"Nay," Fiona said, her eyes darting around the beach. I could already tell she was doing her best to squint through the mob. "Did something happen?"

"Yeah, like, I think she's lost it," I said. "The it being her motivation to keep going."

"Hmph!" Fiona folded her arms, draping her towel across her chest. "Mayhaps the Guardian has been speaking of the snark?"

"So you're saying it's my fault," I said. "Which is… kinda true in retrospect. I guess."

"I see," Fiona said, nodding furiously. "The Guardian of the Taurus has been feeling of the envy."

My eyebrows climbed past my hairline, ascending straight into wherever brows went when they died.

"How in the blue hell did you make that guess?" I asked. "Like, I haven't said anything yet."

Fiona smirked, raising her chin. Beads of water dripped down her neck. "Why, 'tis of the simplicity! For you see, the Guardian… uh, this Heroine…" she murmured, her smirk fading the moment her words tumbled off the cliff of incoherence.

"Shit biscuits…" Fiona whispered.

"You're being incredibly sussy right now, Fione," I said, my EEP senses tingling. "Like, you know you can tell me anything."

"Anything?" Fiona tittered.

"Like, anything," I said. "I'm the poor gal you settled for, right?"

"Wha…?" Fiona scowled when the words sank into her hyperactive brain. "I didn't merely settle for—"

"Yeah, yeah, thunder striking once or whatever," I said. Did thunder even only strike once? "Like that explains why you even find me remotely attractive… Geez. You know what? I should stop." I chuckled. "I'm starting to sound a lot like Akane."

"Indeed," Fiona said, slowly. "But mayhaps… mayhaps the Guardian deserves naught but the truth." She laid her hands atop my arms, her skin silky wet from the showers.

"The truth?" I said. "Aha! So you are hiding something from me."

Fiona led me towards a shadowed corner of the beach, right between a boulder studded with glimmering rubies, and a tree with branches so wide they drooped right down, its emerald leaves stroking the white sands.

"So? Cough it up. Like, the truth," I said. "Or whatever it is that makes me so appealing to you."

It's totally not me being insecure like Aka. Honest. I just need the answer to that one question that's been bugging me ever since that day. The day that a literal time traveller popped into my life and made me a bet I can't lose.

"You were but a wee lass of fourteen winters when you fled home to pursue your dreams," Fiona said. "Ten winters and you returned, to ascend an Arbiter's throne. You took up the pen in lieu of the sword, beloved. Or should I say, Dark Blood Mistress."

I froze. "How… how the fuck do you know?

I never told anyone about my stint in the hood. I sure didn't tell her. Hell! I made sure to bury anything that could link Dark Blood Mistress to me. I don't think anyone but my brother knows what I really did—and what I really planned—when I ran away from home.

To the outside world, and to my sister, my step-sister, it's just me studying in a foreign academy, not spending my nights grinding away in gaming rings. No. I was studying under an alias and a disguise. Which I actually excelled at. Typical bored rich kid stuff, I know. Bruce Wayne did it first.

"You were an icon among true gamers, beloved," Fiona said, grinning, her eyes filled with the light of the sun. "Oh! How I long to play a match with you, our hearts pounding in unison, our—"

My breath raced up my lungs, my chest heaving as I covered her mouth, itchy sweat pouring down the bridge of my nose.

"Shut up. I'm not a gamer anymore," I hissed. "I'm a writer. An Arbiter. A fucking Guardian. An actual productive member of society. Now tell me, or so help me god, how the hell do you know?"

"Mmph!" Fiona squirmed as I loosened my grip. "You told me, beloved! You did!"

"I… did?" I said. "Excuse me? Like, I don't recall ever telling anyone. Much less you."

"You did…" Fiona huffed. "It was a night in the capital of Atlas, in the fortress of the highest of elves. Bathed in moonlight, the Guardian and the Heroine consummated their eternal love..."

"We haven't even stepped in Atlas, Fione," I said. "Because Arkhalla took us back to the past. Your past. And we met your parents. Right?"

"That never happened before, beloved…" Fiona said, smiling. "For the world ends on the seventh day, and I am cursed to remember what you all must forget."

...

What...?

I gasped.

It all clicked.

What she's hiding behind her act.

All the times she's professed her love.

How distraught she was when I almost died, the very same day we first met.

How she knows my blade can kill her, without me having told anyone anything about it at all. In fact, I didn't even know until she told me and my Guide confirmed it.

I just didn't notice because of everything that's been going on—all the stress that's been piling since the first day.

And now…

"I broke time, beloved," Fiona murmured, hands clasped atop her chest. Skadi shone over her wrist, collapsed into a watch. "For a very selfish reason…"

"You're insane," I said. "This can't be real. It can't be."

"Negative. Time loops are quote very much real unquote. As I have mentioned before."

"'Tis naught but the truth," Fiona said. "We have known each other for eons, my love. All those times we failed in our quest, I found myself wandering down an alley once again, saving a scrawny mage from the jaws of a wolf."

I had to stop myself from hyperventilating more as Fiona caught me in her embrace, her soapy scent flitting through my nose.

"There was a time when the huntress left the mage to the clutches of death, to see where her demise led," Fiona said. "At her behest, and to my eternal shame and sorrow."

"Why?" I said. "How? When?"

"At world's end, I carved new words upon the halls of prophecy," Fiona said. "For until the cruel fate has been averted, the witch queen shall toil across time deserted."

"So you're saying that you've already experienced this, our quest," I said. "Well, some of it, 'cuz it keeps changing. Butterfly effect. And all those times you acted surprised over some tiny detail like you didn't know…"

"Please forgive me," Fiona murmured. "In the end, I'm just… a child who learned how to lie."

"This is…" I smacked my lips together, wetting the cracks. "A lot to take in." I took a deep breath. "Let me get this straight. You Life-is-Strange'd yourself. Because we couldn't succeed at killing Korvi?"

"You perished on the first day, the very first time I met you," Fiona said. "'Twas… my dismissiveness that led to such."

"Right, 'cuz I'm useless, and, like, you didn't know me at all," I said. "Geez. That's pathetic. Me, I mean."

Fiona giggled, though the apologetic look she wore told me she didn't mean to laugh.

"So what's stopping you from, you know, just leaving me behind?" I said. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm pretty sure I'm the reason why you end up failing."

"You gave me a chance." Fiona grinned and pressed herself against me, my knees twitching as our foreheads touched. "There was a time when I grew tired of the quest… and you whisked me away into your world," she said, her hot breath on my mouth.

"Geez, I'm a super bad influence," I said, chuckling. "I guess I'm the one who taught you all about the joys of video games, huh?"

Like, I don't think she learned Skyrim in her hellscape of a future—that part didn't add up at all.

Until now.

"I love you," Fiona whispered. "The joy that you have brought me in the seven days we spend, time and time again, is a balm upon my weary soul."

"You're… screwed up," I said, my heart drumming in my ears. "You've reset a bajillion times. And for what? Love? Me?"

Am I really that important to her? Could I be that important to anyone? Did the power of love really exist? Could it endure the ravages of time? Centuries? Eons? Eternity itself?

"I cannot accomplish the task set before me alone," Fiona said. "Please, beloved. I will not have a future without you."

{Bond Affinity Up!}

{Bond Affinity: Thunder [A] {Fiona Schnee — Remnant A-404}}

"This…" I trailed off. "I don't really have much of a choice then, huh?" I grinned like an idiot. "Let's work towards that future. And breaking that prophecy. I never liked stupid and cliched rhyming prophecies, anyway."

"Indeed," Fiona said, the glamour creeping back into her voice. "Even now, I see a ray of hope." She mirrored my grin. "Inky. Leli. Dear friends from the future—whom we have never met before. This time, I know we'll succeed. Together."

"Together," I repeated. "Like, how many times have you given me this cheesy speech?"

"I… I cannot remember," Fiona said. "For 'tis the moment that comes after which lies most vivid in my mind."

"What moment?" I said.

Fiona smirked. "This."

She slammed her lips against mine, the heat, the sweetness of cherries, the sheer desire stabbing deep like one of Cupid's arrows into my heart of splintered jade.

I would've kissed her back, reciprocated, lingered in her embrace, if not for the sudden screams of the crowd on the beach, and the frenzied roars that jarred my ears.

Author's Notes:

Guardians of the Unknowing has been written out in its entirety. It ends after around 5 chapters. I just need to finish updating. With that said, I won't be updating Artificer for a while so I can update Guardians every month starting October. Let's aim to finish Guardians before 2024, shall we?

In the past month, I also released Fire Emblem: Andromeda over at feuniverse. It's a fully custom fangame whose story ties into the LVC. I spent around a year to make its first release—soundtrack, art assets, writing and all. One of the five protagonists is a post-Awakening Lucina. It has cameos of characters from Artificer, Guardians, and Today I Saw The Whole World. Andromeda is basically meant to be Fire Emblem but Dark Souls (Prepare to Die Edition). 8 chapters are currently playable, with around 3 to 5 hours of fair but brutally challenging gameplay. Feel free to check it out.

Thanks for reading!