"You look tired. Why don't you find a place to rest?"

Jiang Cheng shot Lan Xichen an annoyed look. "Likewise. Why don't you?"

Lan Xichen shrugged. "I tried."

"…As did I."

They walked quietly together down the pretty halls of Jinlintai. A storm was raging on outside. The aroma of petrichor wafted in from open windows.

"Were you planning to assist the council in the aftermath?" Lan Xichen asked.

Jiang Cheng pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I doubt I can get that involved without Jin Ling trying to kick me down the stairs out front. I was going to try to find Luo Qingyang, though. He shouldn't have much issue with that."

"I'd imagine that would depend on what you intend to say to her," Lan Xichen said sagely.

"Going to try to find Luo Qingyang for what?" came a feminine voice from a doorway to the right.

The pair turned to find two women and a young girl sitting in the main garden under a pavilion adorned with the sparks amidst snow peony. Sheets of rain slid off of the roof of their little shelter. It was a wonder that Luo Qingyang had been able to hear them from there.

"Shouldn't you be in a council meeting?" Jiang Cheng asked harshly as he and Lan Xichen came to stand in the doorway.

"Shouldn't you be in Yunmeng running a different clan?" Luo Qingyang retorted.

Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes. He wasn't in the mood for this. Not after yesterday.

"A-Yang, please," the woman seated beside Luo Qingyang said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She was more lithe than voluptuous like Luo Qingyang. Her features were fair and fine compared to Luo Qingyang's strong and angular. And she wore more trinkets and looked more the part of a wealthy cultivator than Luo Qingyang did. But both were undeniably striking in their appearance.

The little girl with them did not share many characteristics of either of the women beside her. But she sprawled in the lap of the one whose name Jiang Cheng did not know as if she were her mother.

"Forgive me, Sect Leader Jiang and Zewu-jun," Luo Qingyang said with an air of sarcasm. "I forgot to introduce my wife, Yu Qingqi, and our daughter, Mianmian."

Yu Qingqi bowed from her seated position. Her daughter mimed her.

"Yu?" Jiang Cheng repeated.

"I am from the Yu Clan of Meishan," Yu Qingqi said respectfully. "Before you ask, though, I did not know your mother well, Sect Leader."

"Who did?" Jiang Cheng mumbled under his breath.

Lan Xichen glanced over at him but said nothing.

"Anyhow," Jiang Cheng went on, speaking again to Luo Qingyang, "I wondered if I might be able to converse with you privately?"

Luo Qingyang's eyes swept over him, pausing on his tense shoulders and twitching index finger.

"You may not," she said firmly. "I assure you that my wife is trustworthy and my daughter pays mind only to wildlife. What you have to say will not leave this garden."

He was a sect leader. She was only an advisor. And she thought she had the right to speak to him this way?

With Lan Xichen looking at him, though, Jiang Cheng had no choice but to bite his tongue and keep his temper in check.

"How am I supposed to trust you?" he asked her hotly.

She scowled. "You don't have to trust me. I don't work for you. I work for Jin Ling."

"And I look out for my nephew," Jiang Cheng replied. "Why did you not come to help him after the incident with the golden core detonation? Where were you?"

Luo Qingyang's scowl deepened. "I was there. I was going to help him, but you got there first. You didn't ask anyone for help, so I assumed he was well enough. Was I incorrect?"

"He is your superior. You should have checked on him."

"What would you have me do?" Luo Qingyang demanded, getting to her feet. "Should I have pried him from your arms? Would that have proved me trustworthy? Or maybe I should have arrested you for impersonating our disciples."

"You defected from a smaller clan before. How am I to believe you aren't trying to use my nephew to advance your own position?"

"I'm not interested in a higher position!" Luo Qingyang shouted. "I hate it here! But not wanting to advance isn't something you'd understand!"

Lan Xichen spoke up then. "If you hate it, why are you here?"

Luo Qingyang rounded on him. "Because I believe Jin Ling when he says he cares about people and wants to do what's best for them," she spat. "I believe in him. So when he asked me for help, I agreed."

She turned back to Jiang Cheng. "I believe in him because he's proven himself to be nothing like you."

Jiang Cheng's nails bit into his palms. "You should mind your tone."

"Why?" she asked. "Because I'm the daughter of a servant and you're the leader of an oh-so-mighty sect? Pulling rank here, are we? You have to use something to convince yourself that you're better than I am, don't you? Everyone does. But you're quite possibly the worst of them all."

"Oh really?"

"A-Yang, please don't," Yu Qingqi pleaded. Mianmian glanced between her mothers nervously.

But, Luo Qingyang paid them no mind. Her shoulders were pulled back, her chin lifted high.

"This is in question to you?" she scoffed. "You, from the Jiang Clan that claims to 'attempt the impossible', were more worried about yourself and how Wei Wuxian's actions could cause trouble for you on Muxi Mountain than you were about any other person there."

She emerged from the pavilion and marched toward them, forcing Jiang Cheng to move out of her way or run into her.

He was frustrated with himself for moving.

"You have always been more concerned about yourself than other people!" Luo Qingyang yelled, her voice even louder in his ears now that there was no rain to muffle it. "I could have written that whole ordeal off, told myself that it was all because you were young and scared, but no! You've never changed! You didn't even defend Wei Wuxian against the other clans because that would have endangered you! He was practically your family! And yet, you stand here and accuse me of selfishness! Hypocrite!"

Without even touching it, Zidian began to spark on Jiang Cheng's finger. Luo Qingyang didn't fail to notice.

"Going to whip me to death?" she asked coolly. "Here, in the halls of Jinlintai, to which I was invited and you were not? Careful there, Sect Leader. That might cause trouble for you, and I know how much you'd hate that."

More sparks flew from Zidian. Jiang Cheng could hardly believe his ears. What gave her the right to speak to him like this?

"Don't," Lan Xichen murmured.

Jiang Cheng blinked, realizing that his hand had drifted subconsciously toward his ring.

"No need to fret, Zewu-jun," Luo Qingyang said. "I have actual advisors to consult with about this, not some uncle playing at running two clans at once. I'll be taking my leave."

She bowed deeply to Lan Xichen and glowered at Jiang Cheng before turning on her heel and stalking off down the corridor.

Jiang Cheng couldn't see straight. He was absolutely livid. His body trembled with rage. His breathing was heavy.

Yu Qingqi held her daughter close, looking nervously between the two men still standing in the doorway.

"Would you like us to leave, Sect Leaders?" she asked meekly.

"No need," Jiang Cheng snapped. "We're leaving too."

Following in the footsteps of Jin Ling's advisor, Jiang Cheng turned sharply and headed back the way he and Lan Xichen had come.

Lan Xichen didn't speak for a time, presumably to allow Jiang Cheng a moment to calm down.

Then, he said, "What was it that you had wanted to ask Luo Qingyang privately?"

Jiang Cheng sighed. "I wanted to know if she had any leads as to why this battle happened in the first place," he said. "I wasn't aware that the Jins had such hostile relations with the smaller surrounding clans."

"Nor was I."

There was a tense pause between them, and then Lan Xichen spoke again.

"I think you may have had more luck with Luo Qingyang had you taken a slightly different approach with her."

Jiang Cheng stopped abruptly and spun to face him.

"Oh really?" he said. "Going to call me unreasonable too?"

Lan Xichen held up his hands, trying to signal Jiang Cheng to calm down. Of course, this had the opposite effect.

"The jade talisman is working," Jiang Cheng said through gritted teeth. "You can go back to the others now. I don't need you to supervise me."

Lan Xichen's hand drifted absentmindedly to the cord around his own neck. Wei Wuxian had made sure everyone in their group had a talisman, no matter how closely affiliated with him they were.

"I said I would look after you," Lan Xichen said tranquilly. "I intend to do so."

"I'm not a child. I don't need someone to look after me. If you want to go, just go."

"I don't want to go."

"But you do want to criticize me? Is that it?" Jiang Cheng snapped.

He knew he was only proving Wei Wuxian's claim that he was unreasonable. But the last thing he'd expected was for Lan Xichen, who barely said a bad thing about anyone, to question him so plainly. From anyone else, he might not have reacted so much. But since it was him, it was worse.

Jiang Cheng was also very tired, which may have contributed.

"I didn't mean to offend," said Lan Xichen. "I meant to help."

"Well you didn't."

"I can see that."

Jiang Cheng glared at him. Lan Xichen maintained a peaceful demeanor.

How could he do that? How could he just ignore him when Jiang Cheng purposely stepped on his toes?

Why wouldn't he just. Get. Angry.

"All I need is to kill Xue Yang and deal with whatever is going on here in Jinlintai," Jiang Cheng said. "I can't believe we couldn't even get a year of peace after-" He stopped himself from mentioning Jin Guangyao. "-after everything. Wei Wuxian brings trouble wherever he goes!"

Despite avoiding the use of Jin Guangyao's name, Lan Xichen reverted to the state that Jiang Cheng had found him in when he'd visited the Cloud Recesses with Jin Ling. There was also a level of something akin to pity in his eyes when he looked at Jiang Cheng.

"You don't really blame Wei Wuxian for all of this, do you?" he asked.

Jiang Cheng was taken aback by his question and didn't respond immediately. People didn't usually doubt his distrust and contempt toward Wei Wuxian.

After they turned a corner and began moving away from the main parts of Jinlintai, Lan Xichen shifted from pity to bewilderment. He didn't know where they were headed.

Not bothering to answer the question he'd asked, Jiang Cheng decided to answer the question that Lan Xichen hadn't yet asked.

"I come here sometimes," he said, stopping outside a door with a glossy finish and ornate handle. "I shouldn't, but I do. One of these days, I'm going to destroy it. Mark my words."

Jin Guangyao's study was off limits to everyone, even palace staff. Jin Ling kept saying he was going to deal with it, but he'd admitted to Jiang Cheng recently that he still hadn't gone inside.

But Jiang Cheng had wandered in once or twice. He knew it was Jin Ling's to do with as he pleased. Everything in there belonged to him. He had no right going in.

And yet, he did.

"You can stay out here if you prefer," he said over his shoulder. "We'll see if today's the day I decide to destroy it."

Lan Xichen's face was inscrutable, very much the way his brother's always was. Considering how close he'd been with Jin Guangyao, it was impossible that he didn't recognize this door.

"This was locked at all times," Lan Xichen said. "I suppose those locks are lifted now."

"They are," Jiang Cheng said, reaching for the handle.

Lan Xichen shifted. "Must you go in there? You really shouldn't break anything. We should find someplace to rest instead."

"I said you don't have to come."

Lan Xichen paused for a moment before answering. "I said I would look after you for Wei Wuxian."

"You overestimate how much he cares," Jiang Cheng snarled. "Wei Wuxian only wants to know if his new invention is worth anything."

He plucked at the cord about his neck. Lan Xichen's pity returned.

"I don't think that's true," Lan Xichen said softly.

"You don't know him like I do."

"Even so."

Jiang Cheng shrugged and opened the door. "Then you're coming with me."

Honestly, he'd intended for Lan Xichen to follow him in all along. He had something to prove to him. And something to prove to himself.

Everything was where it had been since the last time Jiang Cheng had been there. Four pristine paintings, one for each wall, were still in their places, perfectly straight, not tilted by even a centimeter. An elegant desk sat in the middle of the room. Every paper atop it was stacked in the same piles. The shutters of the window across from them were still closed, quieting the sound of rain outside. Every decorative item hung on the walls or displayed on delicate glass stands was untouched.

The thick layer of dust that coated every surface was the only evidence that Jin Guangyao was long gone. The place otherwise looked as though he may return at any moment.

Jiang Cheng closed the door behind them and wandered over to the window. He fiddled with the latch for a while, as if he planned to open it. But, it was cold in Lanling compared to Yunmeng. No matter the season, Jiang Cheng was usually at least a little chilly here. There was no way he was opening the window during a storm.

"If I start breaking things in here," he said slowly, moving toward a guqin mounted on a wooden stand in the corner, "I wonder if you would actually stop me."

There was no reply.

Jiang Cheng turned to find an anguished Lan Xichen staring at the guqin. He hadn't taken more than a step inside the study.

"Do you know this instrument?" he asked him.

"I know many of the things in this room," Lan Xichen whispered. "A number of them were gifts."

"From you?"

He nodded.

"Was this?" he asked, pointing at the guqin.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Great." Jiang Cheng lifted the instrument from its stand and carried it over to him. "Why don't you break it, then?" he said.

As soon as Jiang Cheng held it out for him, Lan Xichen pushed it away, eyes wide. "It belongs to Jin Ling now. I can't do that."

"Jin Ling doesn't want any of this."

"Then why haven't you broken it?"

Jiang Cheng shrugged. "I didn't want to clean it up."

Lan Xichen looked skeptical but didn't question it. He pushed the guqin away when it was offered to him again.

"I don't want to break it."

"Why not?"

"I'm not angry," he said. "I have no inclination to destroy these things."

Jiang Cheng blinked several times in disbelief. After everything that had happened, that really couldn't be possible.

Looking at him, though, Jiang Cheng couldn't discern even a flicker of anger.

"Then why did you react like you did when you saw this?"

"Meng Yao used it often," Lan Xichen said. "He…liked this one. He didn't bring it to the Guanyin Temple. He used it…for something else."

"Something bad as well, I take it?"

"It doesn't matter," Lan Xichen said. "It's in the past now."

"Hm."

Jiang Cheng turned to replace the guqin on its stand. Halfway there, he changed his mind. He lifted the instrument up over his head and smashed it on the floor at his feet.

Lan Xichen jumped. The strings popped free of the board with a discordant twang. Splinters of wood scattered in all directions.

"Why did you do that?" Lan Xichen asked. "You've thought about it before. Why now?"

Jiang Cheng wasn't entirely sure. So he just said, "I'm tired of seeing that look of yours."

"What look?"

"The one you get when someone mentions him," Jiang Cheng said. "It's like you're his bereaved family or something."

Lan Xichen drew in a shaky breath. "I am. I'm grieving, even if you don't understand it."

"You shouldn't be grieving," Jiang Cheng said. "You should be furious. Or maybe you think you're too good for that."

"I never said that. It's just…"

Jiang Cheng waited for him to finish, but he didn't.

Instead, Lan Xichen bent to retrieve a piece of wood from the ground. He inspected it impassively.

"Meng Yao used this to play an alteration of a song I'd taught him," he said dully. "He used it to hasten Nie Mingjue's inevitable qi deviation. Mingjue might have had years ahead of him."

Jiang Cheng listened, not daring to interrupt. He hadn't known the specifics about this part of Jin Guangyao's past. As expected, he was treacherous through-and-through.

"Mingjue was destined to live a shorter life than most," Lan Xichen went on, his voice trembling a little. "He would have died of qi deviation at some point. So why did Meng Yao feel the need to rush the process? Why did he shorten a life already predetermined to end early?"

"I never knew that he'd done that," Jiang Cheng hissed.

He and Nie Mingjue hadn't seen eye to eye on every issue, but no one could deny that the former Nie Clan leader was an honorable man.

To think that a lowlife like Jin Guangyao had killed him in such a way. It was despicable.

Lan Xichen scoffed – a sound that, coming from him, made the hair on the nape of Jiang Cheng's neck stand on end.

"There were a lot of things he did that never saw the light of day," Lan Xichen said.

He was standing so stiffly in place that he might have been a statue. A new, dangerous aura was emanating from him.

Jiang Cheng was compelled to encourage it.

The great Zewu-jun wasn't perfect. Even he could succumb to rage. He would prove it.

Jiang Cheng walked around the room, carefully studying Lan Xichen's expression. When he caught a flash of a reaction from him, he seized the object he was nearest to and held it out. This time, it was a little crystalline peony.

"Did he do something sinister with this?" Jiang Cheng asked in disbelief.

"No."

"Was it a gift?"

"…"

"…"

"…yes."

"Then it's yours to break," Jiang Cheng said. "Break it."

Lan Xichen furrowed his brow. His tone was firm when he said, "I don't want to."

Jiang Cheng regarded him levelly. "You're truly not angry with Jin Guangyao for all the things he did?"

"Truly," Lan Xichen said, a little less convincingly than before. "Anger is a poison and…"

Jiang Cheng waited for him to finish his statement.

"And what?"

"And nothing," Lan Xichen said quickly. "Anger is a poison. I'm not angry."

"So you've forgiven him?"

"I… Yes, I've forgiven him."

Jiang Cheng scowled. Lan Xichen was going to make this difficult for him. Luckily, he didn't give up easily.

"Really?" Jiang Cheng said, lathering skepticism in that single word. "When did you forgive him? When was the exact moment? When he died? A month ago? Did you feel anything between learning what he'd done and forgiving him? Or did you simply forgive him right away?"

"Forgiveness is the greatest-"

"Not if it's forced," Jiang Cheng cut in. "Not if it's fake."

He stepped closer to Xichen, peony still in hand.

"Stop lying to yourself," he said. "You should be angry. He took you for a fool. He killed your closest friend. He hid behind you, knowing that you would protect him no matter how deep a grave he dug himself. He lied to you. He used you. You deserve to be angry."

Jiang Cheng saw the miniscule twitch of Lan Xichen's brow. He was getting under his skin. Hell, he was getting under his own skin. Hot blood rushed in his veins. Surely Lan Xichen felt that too. He couldn't suppress it forever.

"I'm. Not. Angry."

Jiang Cheng carried on, "You gave him this because you cared about him and trusted him. And how did he repay you?"

"Stop this."

Jiang Cheng ignored him. "What was the story? It's a peony, right? Was it a celebration of some kind? Maybe celebrating the day he was named head cultivator?"

"Stop."

He ignored him again. "Or maybe it wasn't a celebration at all. Maybe it was mourning. Maybe it was after he'd sent Jin Zixuan – his own brother – to be killed on Qiongqi Path?"

He was definitely striking a chord now. There was a flush to Lan Xichen's perfect jade cheeks.

"Stop."

"Maybe you gave this to him after his son was born-" Jiang Cheng cut off with a wry laugh and said, "-oh wait, he killed his son, didn't he?"

When Lan Xichen took a step toward him, Jiang Cheng was certain he'd gone too far. He considered backing up but didn't know what good it would do. If Lan Xichen was going to fight him, he couldn't run. He'd have to defend himself.

However, Lan Xichen merely strode over to him, plucked the little flower from his still-offered hand, and nonchalantly dropped it on the floor, shattering it into thousands of glittering pieces.

He then looked up at Jiang Cheng, who was beyond frustrated to see that his expression still held not an ounce of malice. Lan Xichen even smiled.

"Are you happy now?" Lan Xichen asked. "I'm still not angry, but I broke it. That's what you wanted, right?"

The hair on Jiang Cheng's arms stood up. His voice was incredibly wrong.

Jiang Cheng took a hesitant step back from him, suppressing the shiver that ran down his spine. Lan Xichen's vapid smile was sinister, like a wolf baring its teeth.

Jiang Cheng could bring himself to do nothing except watch as Lan Xichen approached a different fragile item, casually knocking it to the floor in much the same way as he had the peony.

"Just because I'm not happy doesn't mean I'm angry," he said.

Still smiling and moving with a strange rigidity, Lan Xichen knocked yet another object off a shelf. As he continued to move about the room, his feet ground the shards into dust.

"That was a gift from me too," Lan Xichen said airily. "He told me he'd needed help with a complicated array, so I tried to help him. Little did I know that he'd be using that to help set up Wei Wuxian. But I'm not angry about it. I've forgiven him."

He knocked it off the shelf, watching it shatter on the floor.

"And this-" His fingers covered most of the dark glassy object that he'd plucked off of the wall. "-was also used to set up the massacre at Nightless City. I even told him to 'put it to good use' since I didn't need it anymore. He took my advice to heart!"

Lan Xichen's face contorted. He lost that odd sense of self-control as he wound back and hurled the orb from his hand into the nearest wall.

His smile widened when it shattered.

It had been a bad idea to make him angry. This was anger, right? Why did he keep smiling like that?

"And these-" Lan Xichen gestured broadly around the walls of the room. "-make me sick to look at. But that doesn't mean I'm angry."

He lifted one of the four paintings off the wall, studying it with that menacing smile. The foliage covered landscape couldn't escape him and neither could Jiang Cheng. He was rooted firmly in place, as if nailed to the marble floor.

Lan Xichen smashed the painting into the ground, cracking the frame in several places. He giggled.

"Who would I be if I was angry? I'm meant to be an example."

He didn't pause to examine the next painting he ripped from the wall. Jiang Cheng noted a flash of brown, yellow, and red before it too was lying in pieces next to the first.

"Perfect Zewu-jun, twin jade of Gusu, would never show such a base emotion!" Lan Xichen shouted. His movements became sweeping and exaggerated. He was practically dancing as he paced around. "He is too enlightened! Too pure!"

The white painting was the next to go. He seized it with a giggle and began to destroy it bit by bit while Jiang Cheng continued to watch him.

"Set an example for your brother, Xichen."

He ripped one edge of the wooden frame cleanly from the canvas.

"You're the face of our clan, Xichen. You can't be seen like that."

He kicked the opposite end, snapping it in half with a satisfying crack. Lan Xichen giggled again. His eyes were welling with tears. He was unhinged.

Jiang Cheng was regretting everything.

"Be strong for the young ones, Xichen."

Rip

"Everyone looks up to you, Xichen."

Snap

"Marry a proper woman, Xichen."

Snap

"Raise the perfect heir, Xichen."

Rip

"Be traditional."

Snap

"Be tranquil."

Rip

"Never raise your voice."

Tear

At this point, there was hardly anything left of the picture. The mangled pieces of the snowy scene fluttered where they were attached to the equally mangled wooden frame.

But Lan Xichen still wasn't done.

"Never make a mistake."

Rip

"Never be made the fool."

Tear

"Never place your trust in the wrong person."

Snap

"But never, ever harbor anger."

Lan Xichen dropped what remained of the painting. It clattered to the floor, adding to the thin layer of debris that covered the marble under their feet.

"Anger is a poison," Lan Xichen said calmly. "Patience and forgiveness are the greatest virtues."

Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen regarded one another for a few moments. Jiang Cheng was speechless and honestly a little frightened of what he might do next.

Lan Xichen simply smiled and cocked his head slightly to one side.

"So I'm not angry, Sect Leader," he said in a sickly sweet tone that sent a shiver down Jiang Cheng's spine, "but thank you for trying to give me an outlet for it."

"…I told you to stop smiling like that," Jiang Cheng said weakly.

Lan Xichen laughed. He did not drop his forced smile.

"I think I'll go find a guest room now," he said. "I'm feeling quite tired."

Jiang Cheng nearly breathed a sigh of relief. He was finally going to be able to get away from him.

"Sleep well," Jiang Cheng said.

Lan Xichen bared his teeth.

"No, you misunderstood," he said in that same sweetly detached way. "You're coming with me. I'm not to let you out of my vicinity."

Jiang Cheng raised his eyebrows.

"You want me to sit in the guest room with you and, what? Watch you sleep? No, thank you."

"You won't watch me," Lan Xichen said. "But you will stay in the room next to mine. You're going to rest too."

"No, thank you. I'm not tired."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Lan Xichen said with a laugh. "I must not have made myself clear. It wasn't a suggestion."

Jiang Cheng normally would have bristled at such impudence, but Lan Xichen was very off. He was unpredictable. It wasn't a good idea to push him again.

So, he followed him silently from the study.

Jiang Cheng paused in the doorway and glanced back to realize that one painting had survived Lan Xichen's destructive path. This one was colorful, a field of flowers that spread to the horizon with a sky full of the pinks and yellows of a dawning sun.

Jiang Cheng made a mental note to come back later and clean the study before Jin Ling could find the wreckage.

He also decided that he would finish Lan Xichen's work. He was going to destroy that last painting himself… but not right now.

He followed Lan Xichen, his exhaustion making his footfalls heavy. He didn't protest when they found a place to rest. Jiang Cheng climbed into bed still wearing his dirtied Jin uniform while Lan Xichen placed a talisman outside his door to alert him if Jiang Cheng tried to leave.

Annoyed as he was, Jiang Cheng still didn't argue.

Sleep found him easier than it usually did. But with it came his nightmares.