JPOV
Have you ever woken up and wanted to change everything in that one day? Rewrite history; change your life and all that crap?
That's just how I felt this morning when I woke up in Edward's bed.
I hadn't meant to fall asleep in here, hadn't meant to wake up next to his warm body, but I did. I crawled into his room when I got home wanting to be near him. His scent was laced all over the room. It gave me comfort lying on his bed breathing in the scent that covered his pillows.
It relaxed me that much that I fell asleep.
I sort of remember him waking me up and asking me why I was here. My mumbled sleepy reply was for him to just get in bed and sleep next to me.
He had gotten into bed giving me a soft kiss and rolling over on to his side, where he had stayed all night. I woke up curled into his back, my fingers touching his T-shirt that covered the top half of his body. I wondered why he had chosen to sleep like that. I had never known Edward to sleep like that.
All the times I had seen him get up he only ever had boxers on. I guess he didn't want to freak me out when I woke up.
My morning wood was pushed into his ass as I was curled so tightly into him.
For second I thought about moving but went against it. I liked this, liked being curled so tightly next to him, touching him like this.
This was what I wanted. This was what my body needed, what my life needed. I wanted everything to change right fucking now.
I wanted the confusion that still lingered in my mind to disappear. I wanted the fear of being seen out in public with him to go. I wanted to have everything with this man. I wanted everything to be perfect.
Eve though I knew I wanted this, and being so close to him only gave me the strength I needed to do it, the thought lingered that when I leave for work I will be on my own.
The thought lingered that my mind will start to think about everything and over think it, leaving me with a headache.
Would Edward start to wonder about us when I was at work? Knowing full well that I over think everything and worry about the lot until it drives me past being insane.
My mind still brought up the same thing over and over again. I found no other man attractive, found women fucking hot, but found Edward even hotter.
So what made Edward so special that suddenly my body wanted him? I am beginning to think I will never truly figure it out and that it will remain one of life's little mysteries, like where that sock will go after putting a load in the washer?
It goes in but you never see it again, it just disappears off the face of the earth, and gets filed under life's little mysteries.
I needed to move and get up, but I didn't want to.
Hearing his shallow breathing, all even and perfect, feeling his ass pressed against my rock hard cock was making the thought of getting out even less appealing to me as I rocked my hips slowly creating more friction. I shouldn't have done that. I really shouldn't have done it or continued to do it.
My mind filled with lust and need and pushed myself that little bit hard against him, wanting even more friction. I moaned gently unable to stop myself from making a noise. I didn't want to wake him, but I needed something, something more than what I was getting right now.
As I sucked in a shaky breath my fingers moved off his hip and across the front of his waistband, touching a soft patch of hair on his stomach Edward moaned softly and squirmed slightly.
Kissing his neck my fingers played around the top of his waistband feeling the happy trail of short hair running south where I wanted to put my hand, but didn't have the bottle too. I had never touched another man, I was a little unsure of what to do.
Fuck yeah, I had wanked myself off countless times, during my teenage years I used to try and beat yesterdays score by knocking off more.
I knew what I liked, but I didn't know what another man liked, or more to the point I didn't know what Edward liked. It hadn't been a topic we had ever discussed in all the years of knowing each other.
"Stop teasing Jazz and just do it." His sleep-filled voice shocked me back to what I was doing. Had I really been that caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear his breathing pattern change?
He rolled onto his back giving me better access, but my hand had just frozen on the top of his waistband, my fingertips juts slightly under the rim.
"I don't know what to do." I pointed out feeling stupid for not knowing.
Fuck, why was this so fucking hard? His head tilted and he kissed my lips, his soft lips on mine reassuring me that everything was fine. He pulled away and looked at me with lust-filled eyes.
"Do what you like, Jazz." He murmured into my ear his breath hitting my neck and making me shiver.
"Will this make it easier?" He asked as his hand rested on top of mine. I nodded, but didn't move my hand.
"You don't have to." He said in a lust-filled whisper.
"I want to." I whispered out sucking in a shaky breath and pushing my hand under the waistband of his boxers without his. Edward moaned as my hand lay on his rock hard cock.
Surprisingly I found his soft silky skin pulled over his hard as steel member amazingly good in my hand, like it was designed to fit there.
Gripping his hard shaft I ran my thumb over the tip pushing the pre-cum around and using it as natural lube. Edward's hips bucked under my hand, thrusting his cock into my palm. His breathing was hard and ragged as I slowly pumped his member.
"Jasper." My name fell breathlessly from his lips as I gave him pleasure. I kissed his neck running my tongue ball over his skin, he shuddered and writhed, panting and moaning as I increased my pace. My own cock was pushing hard against my boxers begging for its own release.
"Stop." Edward cried out in a pleasure filled voice as he gripped my hand and stilled my movements.
I wondered if I had done something wrong.
From the moans and groans I was getting from him I was sure that I was doing this right, so why the sudden stop?
I looked at him with questioning eyes wanting to know why he had told me to stop; did he not want me to do this? To give him pleasure? I wanted to, wanted to make him feel good and I wanted us to be more physical with each other, was that his problem?
Was he worried that all I wanted was just sex? It wasn't the case.
Fuck, I could go out and pick up a woman if I just wanted sex, the new temp would be an ideal choice, but I didn't want just sex.
Yeah, I wanted it, wanted release, but that wasn't all I wanted.
"Why?" I asked feeling really uneasy now that he had stopped me.
"Because I want to please you at the same time." I smiled feeling relief wash over me. "Remove the boxers Jazz and sit up." Complying with what he asked I pulled them down and off and sat up watching as Edward did the same and leant over to the drawer pulling out a bottle of lube. He poured some into his palm and passed me the bottle.
He warmed his hand up and moved closer to me. My eyes looked down at his long thick member and my mouth filled with water. I swallowed the water back and leant forward to kiss him.
Every single tiny inch of me was overexcited, burning with desire and need. I gasped and moaned into the kiss as I felt his hand grip my throbbing cock.
Our tongues lashed together as we both stroked each other off, matching the same pace as the other one. Our lips broke apart as we sucked in hard lung-fulls of air.
Breathing hard as we both gasped and moaned, feeling the coil spring tighten in my stomach I let out a cry as my body went into an overload of pleasure.
"I... I... fuck." I cried out, screaming in pleasure as I shot my load between us as I came hard. Edward continued to pump me, milking me for all I had, riding out the last waves of my orgasm.
A soft cry left Edward's lips as his head rolled back coming moments after me, his hot cum covering my hand. I removed my T-shirt and wiped my hand then used it to clean us both up.
I could get used to this sort of wake up in the morning. I watched as Edward lay back down, his eyes closed catching his breath.
When did he remove his T-shirt? My eyes cast over his naked form.
He was hot, fucking gorgeous, with his strong build, broad shoulders and well defined muscles. He was without a doubt a fucking magnificent creature that had been carved by the fucking gods.
"You're fucking gorgeous." I blurted out making him chuckle.
Those were the very same words I had used which started all of this.
That drunken night had set the ball rolling, and caused a chain reaction that continued to this point and past it. Where was the end of it all? Would the end make me happy?
Would it make me happy that I had this unconditional love that every single person in the whole world looks for?
Or would I end up unhappy because I made the wrong choices and lost my best friend?
The future didn't look fucking bright. It didn't look great. Everything was in the balance, flicking one way and the next while I decided what I really and truly wanted.
Looking at him tucked back in bed his eyes looked at me so soft and gentle. I saw Edward's true beauty; saw him for what he really was.
He had been carved and created by some god, he was too perfect, stunning even. There wasn't much doubt that if Edward had been straight there would have been a line of women waiting for him.
There was pretty much a line of men. I had noticed the looks he would get whenever we entered a gay club. Often I would find myself alone while he had taken off somewhere with a guy only to return a few hours later a smug smile on his face.
Was Edward a player of the male world? Not as far as I could tell, from what I knew he didn't tend to sleep around. Yeah, he picked guys up, but it didn't happen all the time.
It wasn't as though he had a rep like I had. Fuck, with the women I had been through I was surprised that I had never caught anything. Although I always used something, you just never know.
"You're unbelievably sexy, Jazz. You're enough to give me wet dreams any day of the week." He looked at me and smiled breathtakingly at me. My heart thumped a little harder at his words. "What were you thinking about, just then?" He asked turning onto his side and looking at me while I sat completely naked as the day I was born on top of the covers.
"You, the amount of men you have been with." Edward laughed and shook his head at me as if he didn't believe me. "I'm serious; it's what I was thinking. I know it's nowhere near the amount of women I have had." He nodded his head chuckling slightly at me.
"No, it's not. I don't really keep count, but I reckon about fifteen. One night stands aren't really my thing. I hate the after effect. They want to see you again, or you them. It's just not me really." He smiled resting his head on his elbow.
"Why? I know you're good looking, so why hasn't there been more?" The clocked ticked on. I knew I was running out of time before I ended up making myself late.
"Self-respect I guess, and love. It's what I'm looking for, someone to spend my life with and maybe have a family with." His answer caught me off guard. Edward had never showed any signs of wanting children so to hear him say this almost floored me.
"You want children?" I asked and watched as he nodded his head.
"I love kids, Jazz, and I would love to have one of my own one day if am lucky enough. Jasper, just because I'm gay that doesn't mean I don't want children. It's just not as simple as fucking for me to have them, but with any luck I might be blessed enough to fall in love with a man who wants what I want and we're able to have children." Hanging my mouth open like some kind of freak Edward chuckled at me.
"You really want them?" I asked and watched as he rolled his eyes at me and nodded.
He had just told me and yet I questioned it. "How would that work?" I asked watching as he sat up in bed.
"An egg donor and a surrogate, personally I think if you're a gay couple doing this then you should do it twice so you both get to be the biological father to a child, others disagree. Some think that only one of you should do it, but I don't think it's fair." He looked at me and raised his eyebrow.
"What's with the baby questions, Jazz?" I let out a sigh and sucked in a breath before looking at him and laying on my front. I clocked that his eyes fell on my ass.
"Because I want them." I looked at the bedspread playing with the edge of it. "If me and you worked out and we got to that point, would you want children with me?" Embarrassment flushed my face, had I really just asked him that? His fingers ran through my hair and down my jaw to under my chin lifting it up to look at him.
"Honestly my answer would be yes if we ever got to that point. I would like to think I would have married you before then though." He chuckled and looked at me.
"Jazz, this sort of thing is miles away, if we even get there. You know what I want one day and I do you, so we both know we're on the same page, but let's stop this talk, we're not even fucking yet. How about we just take one step at a time, okay?" He was right.
I was thinking so far ahead and yet I hadn't managed to actually be seen in public with him yet.
"I need to get up and go to work." I leant forward and captured his lips with mine, the feeling of stubble on my chin felt wonderful.
After being so used to the feel of smooth skin when I kissed someone I was sure this feeling would freak me out, but it didn't.
"Have fun." He whispered against my lips before lying back down. I pulled myself up and left his room giving him a little smile as I left.
After showering and changing I left the house, leaving Edward sleeping in bed. I had made a lot of changes this weekend, maybe a lot of choices concerning my choice in life. I got that things would be different between us if we were together, that the relationship I would have with him would be different to any relationship I had ever had.
For one, it would be with another man and not a woman, but there was just something in the way he touched me that sent me flying over the edge into a sea of electricity that set my skin alight like nothing I have ever felt before, an amazing feeling that just makes me feel complete.
The question of sex ran through my mind. We had already fucked and Edward had told me he doesn't bottom, so that would mean that I would forever be bottom for him. The thought really didn't bother me that much as I had already done it once and had the best orgasm of my life from it, but it would be something I would like to change.
I wouldn't mind fucking him instead. I knew very little about the way gay men went about this sort of thing, did they just pick one and that's it, no moving from that spot, or would they be open to change?
To switch? I always kind of thought that if they were in a relationship they would switch round, but listening to him tell me that he won't do that questioned what I thought. It just made sense to me for them to switch, wouldn't that make it more equal in a relationship?
This was something that I would have to talk to Edward about, see if he would be up to switching with me.
Entering the office my eyes caught sight of Maria, who was standing rather close to my office door waiting for me. How did I know she was waiting for me? Because the shit-eating grin told me so. I smiled and unlocked my door keeping it open as I walked in knowing Maria would be following in within seconds. As if on cue I heard the door click as it closed.
"Spill Hale, I've done nothing but think about you all weekend wondering how your date went with Edward and if you have made any sort of decision yet?" She sat down on the chair in front of my desk and looked at me.
"Hell, the date was a disaster really, but yesterday I made some decisions, and I'm slowly getting my head around it." I told her honestly as I sat down and booted up the PC. Maria smiled at me.
"You know, Jazz, if you and Edward make a go of this you have my full support, no matter what anyone says. You're real friends will stick by you and support you and it won't matter to them." Opening my emails I looked at her. She was right. No matter what my real friends wouldn't care if I was suddenly dating a guy, they wouldn't care, I would still be me.
That's what I thought when Edward came out. He hadn't suddenly changed. He was still the same person he had always been. He lost a few friends, but no one that really mattered to him. The ones that mattered to him and cared about him stayed put and stuck by him. Would that be the same for me? I hoped so.
"You got plans for Christmas? And more importantly what are you buying Edward?" Maria asked twirling a strand of hair around her fingers.
"My parents, Edward is at his. I guess I'll see Edward at some point as our parents don't live that far away from each other, and should I buy him something for Christmas? Would he buy me something?" This hadn't crossed my mind. We never bothered buying each other anything before, but now we were sort of together would the gift thing happen now?
"Well, would you buy a girlfriend a gift at Christmas?" She asked as though it was a stupid question. I nodded at her. "Well, you should buy your boyfriend a gift." I cringed at the word 'boyfriend'. Maria caught my cringe and narrowed her eyes at me.
"Jazz, tell me that cringe wasn't because I used the word boyfriend?" I nodded, I wasn't comfortable calling him that, or him calling me that. It sounded too gay for me.
"Jasper Hale, Edward is your boyfriend." She almost screamed at me, my faced burned red. Thank heavens the door was shut. "You need to accept it because that is what he is. It's just a word, Jasper. Just think you could actually marry him, would you hate having to use the word husband as well?" Fuck off, Maria. This was hard enough for me without you giving me this sort of lecture!
"Maria, please." I pleaded having fallen on deaf ears. Maria looked far from happy now.
"Jazz, I like to think I'm one of your closest friends, that we're close, so please don't take this the wrong way, but get your head out of your ass. Do not be ashamed that Edward is your boyfriend; do you think he is ashamed? You'll hurt his feelings if you carry this on." She snapped making me snort at her.
"For your information we have already had this chat and he was fine with it, so I'm not hurting his feelings by not acknowledging him as my boyfriend." Put that in your pipe and smoke it Mrs. I know it all! Smugness overcame me with the sheer thought that he and I had already spoken about this.
"And you believe him?" I nodded my head as the smugness started to run out, watching Maria laugh was helping that. "You fool, Jazz, of course it hurt his feelings that you wouldn't be happy calling him that. He only told you he didn't mind to save your feelings and stop you from feeling uncomfortable. How would you feel if a girl you were dating didn't want to call you her boyfriend?" My face fell as I took in her words.
I wouldn't like it and I would wonder if they were ashamed of me. God, did I make Edward feel that way?
"I wouldn't like it." I mumbled out watching as she crossed her arms over her chest and looked smug. It was her turn now and she had backed me well and truly into the corner.
"And neither does Edward." She sighed. "You really need to think more about calling him your boyfriend, Jazz. Oh, and are you coming out on Friday night for works Christmas do? You know we only have two weeks off before we break up for a wonderful two and a half weeks off." A smile hit my face, no fucking accounts to deal with, no more stupid customers to ask me even more stupid questions, ah bliss.
"Yeah, I'm there." She clapped her hands and looked at me, a devilish smile on her lips as she bent forward and rested her hand under her chin.
"Do you think you could get us VIP entry into E2 what with you knowing and dating the owner?" She purred at me. I laughed making her giggle at me and sit back.
"Sure, I'll ask Edward. I'm sure he'll be able to sort it out." I grinned at her and watched as she stood and left my office.
Edward would be working on Friday night, would anyone spot us looking at each other? Other than Maria who already knew we were together, would anyone else twig? Would Edward come and speak to me in front of the people I work with? Of course he would, by the time we got there everyone would know that Edward and I were friends. Would they twig he was gay?
Fuck sake, Jazz, get it together. So what if people twigged he was gay, that wouldn't mean they would twig I was seeing him, or would they? All I had to do was act normal, just act as though nothing was going on between the two of us and everything would be fine, at least I could see him. Yeah, just think about that and not about anyone twigging that we're sort of together.
"Mr. Hale?" My head turned to the door to see Lauren standing in the doorway of my office wearing a baby pink short dress that hugged in all the right places.
The sight of her low plunged dress, giving off ample amount of cleavage went right to my dick.
"Lauren." My voice strained out as I tried not to think about if she had a matching set underneath. She bent forward slightly over my desk, giving me an even better view of her tits.
Fuck! Think about Edward, think about what you did this morning, and do not think about the tits or the pink dress or the possibility that there is a matching pink set underneath. Oh crap, now I was about to burst my fucking trousers.
"Here's the paper work you wanted." She purred out licking her bright red lips. Don't think about them around your cock.
"Thanks." My voice was slightly higher. Crap, she has to stop doing that. "Bye then, Lauren." She licked her lips slowly and smiled leaving my office.
She fucking wants me, but you now have Edward, but she wants me, but you now have Edwa.
Edward doesn't come in matching baby pink bra and panties set.
No, but Edward comes with the best O of your life. FUCK!
I was only thinking like this because she was a woman and I was still confused and I was still working everything out. I want Edward, I just need to get to grips with things and little miss tits and ass is just getting in the way right now.
Once I had it all figured out and I was comfortable she wouldn't bother me, would she?
No, of course she wouldn't.
In fact, she shouldn't bother me now, but she does. I can't help being attracted to the tits she was showing me or the short hugging dress that clung to her curves, that was just human nature and nothing to add even more confusion to.