Chapter 11 - A Moment to Live, A Moment to Die
Author's Note: There... is a cliffhanger. And a lot of... probably disturbing content? xP I can't believe we're over half done with this book now. Lol.
~ Amina Gila
Obi-Wan Kenobi
I don't know what to think about... anything anymore. Everything seemed so simple before I saw them again, but now that I have, it doesn't feel like I can ignore it anymore. I want them back. I don't know how to continue moving on without them. I don't know if I can truly say I think they haven't been destroyed, lost entirely to the Dark Side, but right now? I can hardly find myself to care.
I just want to go back, to make them come with me. But maybe they were right when they said they couldn't realistically come with me. Really, they probably couldn't... Maybe. I don't understand why the Sith are so driven to keep control of them like this, but... Well, if the twins were fighting against them, it would be far harder for them.
But I can't stop wishing I'd said something different to them, to just make them come or something as we make our escape onto the ship and then from the planet. They're right that they're intentionally holding the Imperials back, because it should not be so easy for us to get away, even if I'm still expecting the Empire to be tracking us. We'll have to split up quickly.
(But maybe Qui-Gon was right. Maybe they aren't as gone as I thought. Other than being dark, they're still very much the same.)
"What happened?" Jaufre demands, the moment we're in a private area in the corner of the transport. He's holding a sleeping Luke in his arms, while Padme tries to calm a fussing Leia. How Luke manages to sleep through this, I have no clue. "You saw them, didn't you?"
I nod. "They said they were giving us a window to escape."
He blinks. "You talked to them? Are they okay? What are they doing? Why... they didn't come with you?"
"Does it appear that they're with me?" I ask, flatly.
"What happened?" Padme queries.
"Very little," I reply, though that's hardly true. Just not much I intend to try explaining. My own emotions about this area too chaotic right now. "They were... concerned about you. And they insisted they were trying to make the Empire better, and that they could not leave or the Sith would find them."
Do you think I would let them hurt Anakin, if I could stop it? Aniya's words ring through my mind again. What is it that they're doing to him? He looked fine – well, hardly, but still – but that doesn't mean much. And I'm admittedly wary of knowing the answer to that, now that I have time to think back to what they were saying.
I still remember the slight inkling of... something that I'd been picking up through my bond with him a while back, but I'd tried to block it. Now, I almost wish I hadn't.
"How would the Sith find them?" Padme counters, "If they were in hiding?"
"Plagueis is unnaturally powerful," I explain, "None of us know the extents of it."
"So, what are they planning to do?! That's all the more reason they need to be away from him!" Jaufre exclaims.
"I know." But I still don't know what to do about it. "There's something else Aniya wanted me to tell you. That... Padme was right, and their names are Ben and Ezra." And I have absolutely no idea what that means. I assumed it was just another... inside thing they had.
Except , apparently, Jaufre does, because he promptly goes deathly pale. "What?" he breathes, shakily.
Padme looks at him, equally wide-eyed.
"What's going on?" I demand, crossing my arms.
"He's a father. We think," Padme explains.
What?! Is that what she was trying to say?! And there is only one conclusion I can reach right now, but suddenly, it partly explains what it is the twins seem so scared of. Maybe. I should think it would motivate them even more to try to get away, but if Aniya has children who are there, maybe the Sith is using that to keep them under control. I don't know, but I wish I'd said something more to them about it now. "I will not ask how both of them managed that at precisely the worst time," is the most I can say.
Or how they both had twins, only like nine months apart. Seriously.
Jaufre still looks shaken, before a determination slowly burns into his eyes. "We have to get them back, no matter what it takes. Padme is well enough now. I could..." He trails off, uncertainly.
"I promised them I would keep you safe, while they tried to deal with the Sith."
"You're insane!" Jaufre snaps. Idly, I think that from what I remember of him, he never used to be this angry and... short-tempered before. "I'm not sitting back and doing nothing while they and my children are in danger!"
Padme holds up a hand. "Before we do anything, we need a plan."
"Then perhaps I should start by getting into contact with Qui-Gon," I concede, grudgingly. I want to do something, after all. That would be a good place to start, even if I'm still not looking forward to seeing him again. I miss him, but he's... he willingly chose the Dark Side, and he was planning to turn the twins. I can't just forget that, not when I respected him, too.
But if this is the only way to do something against the Sith – and get Anakin and Aniya back – I'll do it.
**w**
Aniya Skywalker
Being to Jabi'im again was hard. It reminds me of the battle I fought here years ago, when I met Alema. Every step reminded me of times long gone. I'm not totally sure what to think about any of what happened with Obi-Wan, not even when we return to Coruscant.
Sidious calls us to him not long later, unsurprisingly. I know he's going to be angry, but I'm too preoccupied right now to worry about it. What I am worried about, though, is Plagueis. We need to find a way to stop him. I'm not letting him hurt Anakin's children. Child. Whichever it is. Ever. Force, we don't even know that.
And... I don't know if Sidious himself would help us find a way to take out his master.
"You swore your loyalty to me alone," the Sith says at last as we stand inside his office. We've been here countless times, but it's different now. It's... everything is different. Everything is wrong. And I can hear in his voice that he's angry. I don't know when it happened, but sometime, Sidious was healed from the injuries he sustained from Windu. I don't know if he did it, or if Plagueis did, but either way, he looks... more like he once did as Palpatine. As the Chancellor. I don't like that much, either. It makes it harder to differentiate.
"Yes," my twin answers neutrally, carefully.
"Then why," he asks, "Have you gone in search of Kenobi?"
I look away. I rarely look at him at all, actually. It's easier not to. And I don't know what to say to that without getting us both in bigger trouble.
"He's our family," Anakin replies at last, quietly, "We wanted to see him again."
"Need I remind you that he is a traitor to the Empire, and to you?"
"Most people we've known have betrayed us," I can't help snarking back, because it's true. Sidious did, too. More times than I can count.
"Is that so?"
"Yes," Anakin replies bluntly. "The only ones who have truly been loyal to us is each other." We're not loyal to Sidious. It's hard to even pretend we are, when everyone in this room knows the truth even if it's something no one ever voices.
"And by permitting him to escape, you have betrayed the Empire."
Is that a threat? I can't tell. "Maybe," Anakin replies for me, "But before being... Sith, if that is truly what we are, and before being part of the Empire, is our family. You made us this, and we can't change who we are."
Heh. See if he has a comeback to that.
I'm stupidly smug when Sidious is quiet for a few long moments. "You are right," he answers slowly, almost dangerously, but I'm so accustomed to it by now that it doesn't scare me like it used to. He's not the one who constantly hurts us, after all. "But I made you, and you are mine most of all."
"We will always belong to each other first," I argue, "Before you. Before the Sith. Before... anyone." It burns with truth in my heart, the fire of knowledge that we will never be taken apart. Nothing can change that. No matter how hard the Sith try, we'll always be forever attached to one another, our souls forever bound.
"My master has requested you again," Sidious says, changing the topic, "I sense his intentions now are... more dangerous. I suggest you not speak to him in this manner."
"We're not his," Anakin protests quietly, even through the surge of fear I sense from him that I feel myself. I can't help it. I'm not afraid of most things anymore, but I'm terrified of Plagueis. "He shouldn't get to have this."
Sidious looks at us appraisingly. I can't read the expression on his face, or in the Force. He's always too... murky to get a good grasp on. Sometimes, I wonder if this is his way of hurting us. It's not like I would know what's considered normal with Sith. "You were created for far more than his plans for you," he agrees.
"Can we stop him?" I venture finally.
"What you suggest will only bring an end for you both," Sidious says, his voice suddenly hard, angry. "Do not try. You will fail. You are not his apprentices. He will not excuse an attempted assassination. He will keep you alive in his lab forever, and you will never find a way out again."
Anakin and I exchange glances. So much for that. "What about you?" Anakin asks. "Would he hurt you?"
The glare Sidious gives us is somehow worse than the one Maul did. That, for the first time in a while, is enough to make me flinch. "If you desire to see your children again before departing, I suggest you do so. He seems quite impatient."
"He's always impatient," I mutter, but we head out. Silently, I can only hope this will... work, because I do have a very, very bad feeling about what's about to happen. And I can't shake what Sidious said from mind. His response is... a guaranteed yes, but that's not a thing Sith speak of. I... don't understand anything about his relationship with Plagueis, and I'm honestly afraid to.
**w**
Well, it sure was considerate of Plagueis to drug us before he started this time. Except not really, because I'm still conscious, even if everything feels a bit distant and hazed over. Mostly, I think that's because he's intentionally trying to dampen our Force abilities, and I don't have a good feeling about why.
All I do know is that I can still feel Anakin, even if I'm too exhausted to try looking across the room to see him right now. And I sense a sudden flare of blinding pain from him. I'm not surprised, either, when he lashes out with the Force despite being... well, that's why he did it, isn't it?
I need to clear this from mind, somehow, and fast, before he keeps hurting Anakin. Because he is. I can feel it. I don't even know what he's doing. And yes, I know this is just another one of his experiments, but Sidious warned us that it might be... dangerous. He told us that he thought this might go badly, and I...
I have to help my brother. I don't understand what's happening, but I can feel the pain aching through my own body, and its steadily growing sharper. And even the Force itself is screaming in protest. That, I think, is what hurts most of all. I've always known better than to lash out at Plagueis, but this once, I don't even care. "What are you doing to him?" I yell.
He doesn't even answer me, of course. He doesn't see us as people. We're just his special, little lab rats.
I can't keep track of time here at all. I never can, and sometimes, I'm surprised by the amount that's past when we're finally somewhat free again. But every passing moment, I can feel something is very, very wrong. It's just getting worse, until all I can feel is the Force screaming of wrongness, until... and I can hear Anakin in the background. It's not a scream anymore, more like a strangled hiss of pain when he's in too much to make noise.
And we... can take a lot.
I don't actually register anything past that until I feel Sidious's presence near me. Since when was he here?
"You said you wouldn't hurt them," Sidious says. It sounds like he's yelling, but I have no idea – everything is filtering in through a haze.
"There were some unforeseen consequences," Plagueis replies, way too calmly.
"You're killing them."
"Their bond is enough to bind their lives together," he replies, flippantly. Though for the first time, I can make sense of how tightly I've subconsciously wrapped my presence around Anakin's, and how it feels like his is mostly fading. He is dying, and it's only because of my sheer stubbornness and refusal to let him go that he's staying.
I have no idea what Plagueis is doing to him, but it's going to kill him if he doesn't stop. Maybe it's just because of how frustratingly muddled my mind is right now that my only thought in reassurance is that at least if Anakin dies, I'll die too, so we'll still be together forever.
"Then find a way to stop this," I hear Sidious snap – I think it's hard to tell his tone when my mind is like this, but I've never heard him sounding so furious before.
"To do so, we will need the life of another." Plagues' voice sounds fainter now, and I feel like I'm steadily slipping deeper into a fog. Anakin's presence feels further away from me somehow, even though I'm still clinging to it just as tightly.
I think it's then that I feel the first rush of icy fear, because I have no idea what this will mean or anything, and I can't let this happen, but there's nothing I can do, and –
I can hear people moving around in a haze, and why does it sound like a child crying? Or... something.
I have no idea.
Maybe I'm just losing my mind. But I know it's not Ben or Ezra, even though whoever the child is feels strangely bright, so that's enough to let me momentarily relax.
I have no idea what's happening or what the Sith are doing, but suddenly, the air feels of death, and I have a very bad feeling about this. And then, I can feel Anakin's presence far stronger. Like he's slowly fading back in, coming back to himself. I think I feel Sidious's presence holding onto mine, too, and I – I don't like it, even as unconscious as I am now.
I have no recollection of how long it's been, but I finally feel Plagueis' presence disappearing from the room. He must've left, finally.
A hand touches my forehead. It feels... cold, but I know that touch. Sidious. He's never been this... intimate before, and it's strange. It's not like Mustafar, after which he was intentionally trying to make us understand how possessive he was. This is something else. I don't know what it is, but it's... strange.
"Vader, Viola," he calls, and I blink, trying to focus on the room around me, trying to force back the fuzziness in my mind. I touch Anakin's presence again, just to make sure he's still there. He nearly died. I'm not quite sure how we didn't. "Can you hear me?"
Plagueis said something about using a life...
I try to answer verbally, but the only thing that comes out is a faint sound, but I pull my eyes open with monumental effort. Across from me, Anakin is too exhausted to respond.
Sidious is standing over me, and I don't know what to make of his expression. He looks... worried, which is weird. And wrong. And... many things. But not normal. "What happened?" I manage to get out after a few moments of silence.
"Plagueis was attempting to turn Vader into a... being of the Dark Side," Sidious replies. The sheer loathing in his voice isn't surprising, but I don't remember seeing it this prominent except when we first heard him mention his master. "He said it did not go as planned."
He – what?! That's possible?! On second thought, I'm not sure I even want to know.
"What did you... do?" I ask, wincing at the amount of effort it takes to say anything right now.
Sidious moves past me to Anakin, touching his shoulder. "We used the life of another to pull you back."
"Another... life?" I rasp. It's – someone died for us. Not because they were killed in a fight or... anything. They had their life ripped out to keep Anakin alive. Not that I have complaints that we're still alive, but I don't know how to... feel about that. Not that we had a say in any of in the first place anyway.
"Evidently, he cloned you," Sidious replies, tone clipped, "He drained the life from Viola's clone to save Vader's life."
What?
Maybe if I could focus properly, I wouldn't be so surprised. But right now, I am anyway. And that's... I am grateful Anakin survived, but that's awful. It's not past Plagueis though. Of course, he was willing to do that. "Will he be alright?" I ask, eyes flicking to where Anakin is. Sidious is still touching him. Something about it looks as desperate as it does possessive, though.
"He will survive," he assures, "I cannot say for the long-term effects, if any."
My heart clenches. "He can't –"
"I will not let anything happen to him, Viola." He's looking at me now. It doesn't unnerve me like it once would've. I don't know why.
My brow furrows. "You already did. You said you let him do it."
Sidious steps back from Anakin, starts crossing the room towards me before stopping. I can't understand the calculating look he's giving me, but I don't like it. Finally, he moves over to me again. I don't have the strength to pull away. "Aniya," he says, and I'm momentarily taken aback by the use of my real name. I never hear it in anyone but Anakin's voice anymore. "I never desired him to hurt you. I thought by letting him do it, it would spare you more."
"That – doesn't make sense."
"If he is not given what he wants, he will always find a way to make it."
I twitch, remembering what he said to me back when... at the beginning. About my children. "Yeah. He does."
"I should have anticipated him going to such measures," the Sith continues, "But I did not. I will ensure he never does again."
I'm not going to ask how. But I don't like the thought of falling asleep here like I know I'm about to, when Anakin is so far away, so I force myself upright, ignoring how shaky I feel only sitting up. I'm not sure why Sidious is still hovering, but I don't have the mental capacity to think about it. I push myself to my feet, stumbling unsteadily. I don't make it more than a few steps before faceplanting very ungracefully.
I groan quietly, irritated, and glance up to where Anakin is. Really, he's not that far off.
"...what are you doing?" Sidious asks incredulously.
"I don't want him to be alone."
"You're right beside him."
"No, I'm not." I scan the distance between us again. There's not a way for me to squeeze in there, actually. Oh, alright, fine. Instead, I reach out with the Force, freeing Anakin and pulling him down next to me. What? We sleep on the floor all the time. Besides. Those tables are very uncomfortable. And I hate them, so he must, too.
"You're going to sleep on the floor?" he asks incredulously. Force, he sounds like Obi-Wan, picking apart our every move.
"What? We did until we were seven when we started racing and Watto thought us useful enough to bother getting one." Not like he'd understand that. He's from a wealthy family. He wouldn't know what it's like to need anything the way we did. Except love. And family, the two most important things in life, but still. I wrap an arm around Anakin, curling up against his side. I can already feel his body relaxing. It always does.
To be fair, we were always meant to be one.
**w**
Anakin Skywalker
I don't entirely know what happened, but when I awaken, everything still hurts. Aniya is next to me, and her presence is... soothing. What's strange is that Sidious is here, too. I'm not sure why. I don't know why he would... care enough to be here.
"Hey," Aniya says quietly, looking up at me.
"What's going on?" I ask quietly. I'm still exhausted, and I don't want to move, even if I just want to get out of here. Not like we have that luxury. It dawns on me a second later that if Sidious was here, that means he must've seen us, and that... it's instinctive, really, for me to push her away from me and sit up. We only are affectionate with each other around people we trust, and that definitely doesn't include him.
"He nearly killed us," she answers bluntly. Doesn't need to say who. I reach out for her hand instinctively. I can't imagine what it would've been like for her if it hurt me so much. I hadn't been able to think about anything, except about trying to stop it. I remember Aniya's presence though, and I... I sensed Obi-Wan again, briefly, from a galaxy away. And I had sensed... Ahsoka, and Alema. Qui-Gon too, briefly. Passingly, but something about his was strongest. Like, of all of them, he was the one to respond fastest, first. Maybe the only one who really did.
"Are you alright?" I ask.
"You're the one that almost died."
I sigh. If we were on the battlefield, I'd be able to brush it off. I'd get up, laugh it off, and keep moving. But that's not what this was. It was – I'd prefer not to think in blunt terms of what it was. I'd rather not think about this at all. I just want to be... out of here. I long for our times as Jedi, no matter what was happening. I long for the time before the Jedi started to fall, before they fell from their Code. "I'd prefer not to have the reminder right now."
"Sorry," Aniya mutters. "I don't know what to say."
"That's okay," I assure, "I don't, either."
I really, really don't. I feel so helpless.
"You are... feeling better," Sidious notes, studying me.
I look up at him at that, despite my exhaustion. "Yes."
"Good. Remain here for now." As if we have somewhere else to go. "There is much Plagueis and I need to... discuss."
I don't know what that'll mean. I only care because it's probably something about us, and I don't want to think about him right now.
We don't speak, though, until Sidious finally leaves the room. The moment he's gone, I turn to her. "I sensed Qui-Gon."
Her eyes widen slightly.
And that, of course, is when I sense his presence again. It's... here. He's here, on-planet. What is he doing here?!
"Oh no," Aniya groans.
"Maybe this is for the best," I suggest quietly, because after this, I don't – can't stay here anymore. We can't. And if Qui-Gon is coming, maybe we can find a way off. Though his presence is only endangering him. Somehow, I... don't have a good feeling about this. But still, I think this was meant to happen. I'm not sure why.
"How?" she asks, expression scrunching, "They'll kill him."
"Obi-Wan must've told him what happened." So much for not knowing where he is. Okay, he never specifically said that, but he did imply it. "There's nothing we can do from here." That doesn't mean I'm not scared though, but the fact that he still... cared enough to come here is... I don't know. It's a far stronger gesture of kindness than anyone's done for me in a long time except Aniya.
"We could warn him to leave," Aniya mutters, voice trailing off.
"If that were possible, he would not have come. Perhaps this is our... chance." For what, I don't know, but she's been saying repeatedly that we have to do something. And we do, especially for the sake of Ben and Ezra. We can't stay here anymore, but I don't know what that will mean. But now, I think the thought of staying is just as terrifying as trying to get out, and... I'm not sure if that makes it easier or not to do something actively. But if Qui-Gon's coming here, he must have something in mind, right? Something that I can only hope won't get him killed, or –
All I know is that I suddenly have a very bad feeling, especially when the door snaps open and the same, much too familiar, blue Twi'lek steps inside.
The look in his eyes always sets me on edge, but something about it now is worse somehow. He's moving – and feels – like someone actively about to do something... violent.
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