A/N: [TW] A slight violence in the beginning.
Part 2
/A month before/
That evening, Sakura was administering an injection following a successful surgery of a man who was brought hours previously.
A male figure with grey hair and a pair of round glasses sat by the corner of the room, looking at her movements intently. His gestures made Sakura feel uneasy being in the same room. His look was not one of observation, but it had a certain malicious glint that Sakura could not pinpoint accurately. But she felt the impending doom and the increased thumping in her chest.
The last thing she felt before she exited the room was a sharp pain in her neck and her vision went black.
Not long after, Sakura had woken up in an empty basement, which had a similar surgical table in the operating theatre she was in earlier that day. Her hands were tied behind her back, as were her legs in front of her as she was seated on the dusty concrete. She was no longer in her doctor's coat though she had been wearing the same attire she did that day.
"Took you long enough, doctor. I was beginning to think if I should force you to wake up instead." She saw it again. The same malicious glint of the same eyes before she lost consciousness.
Her head turned towards the man sitting on the table before her.
"Humour me, Princess."
She remained silent.
"Tell me. The Uchihas have been saving this pretty little secret of theirs to themselves. Who are they selling the Nine Tailed Fox to?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Is it the Namikazes? The Naras?"
The man uncrossed his legs. He approached her and smirked, earning a glare from the pink haired doctor.
"Alas, where are my manners? The name's Kabuto," he extended his hand to her, his smirk continuing to plaster his face. "Oops, you're tied. Heh."
"I'll be forgetting my manners if you don't tell me who the Uchihas are selling the guns to."
The Nine Tailed Fox, firearms which were manufactured solely by the Uchiha gang, was one of the most exclusive, current and sought-after weapons of destruction by the multiple gangs in Konoha. It made no sound, its firing speed at the rate where the bullets are almost invisible to the eye.
Possessing the Nine Tailed Fox was a show of dominance.
Selling the Nine Tailed Fox, no matter how small the quantity, was a sign of alliance, trust and network amongst gang members in the city.
"I have never heard of a thing nor do I have what you want," Sakura said as she fumbled to free her hands.
Kabuto chuckled. "Come on now, Princess. You and I both know that's a lie. You're not Itachi's pretty little princess for nothing, aren't you."
The man gripped her face, squeezing her chin as he moved around her face. Sakura felt a sharp sting on her left cheek as she realised him digging the blade of a knife into her face.
"Itachi will kill you," she warned and spat into his face. A reckless decision she then realised, as the blade peered into her slightly more.
"In a basement in the middle of nowhere? You're smarter than that, Princess. Now tell me, who is getting the Nine Tailed Fox?" The blade now sank shallowly on her neck and she felt the stabbing pains on her hips. It wasn't just her neck that he was going after. She would be losing the blood at her waist.
Some blurry seconds after that was when Sakura felt Kabuto's blood splashed on her face as he fell down sideways before her.
Her ears rang. She sat idly as the shock went through her as her mind attempted to process that gunshot she saw on his head.
"Sakura!" She heard the familiar voice shouting at her. To her. The voice came near her ears as her mouth let out a pool of blood resulting from the stab administered against her.
She was slowly losing her sight. "Itachi…" she whispered as she saw blurry glimpses of her lover lifting her up. Itachi's cologne comforted her in her last moments of consciousness.
"Sakura, stay with me!"
/Present/
Itachi's grip tightens.
The weeks following the break up, he makes his way to the Uchiha Headquarters, where meetings are typically held for the organisation to conduct its businesses; selling and purchasing of firearms, unifying factions within Konoha, renewing loyalty to the Uchiha clan, to name a few. He vows that any one who gets in his way will see hell. One wrong move and they will wish that their paths had not crossed his.
He wipes his firearms as he gets ready for his next assignment. Blood will spill. Those who defy the Uchiha clan will meet their ends when he is in charge.
It is violent, this feeling he has.
His head goes through one thunderstorm after another. It is the only feeling he has allowed himself. He reminds himself as he inspects the devices before him that any other feelings will render him useless. He delves in the rigorous check ups over his devices, going through every little detail, questioning and testing the efficacy of such devices.
He will not allow himself a moment of distraction. He will not think about what he has done. He only thinks of what he is about to do.
These betrayers will not know mercy.
There must not be a repeat of what happened with Sakura last month. He wants her to know that. He wants to tell her that he had a bad feeling about the morning he sent her off at the hospital. He wants to tell her that he should not have left her at the hospital and went to complete his assignment.
To tell her that she'll die if she stays.
He knows he can't. If he tells her just that, she will refute him at every corner of his arguments and it will be him that would be convinced to allow her to stay with him. Live with the danger.
Which is why he had to end it before she tells him that she doesn't care about his world and the fires of violences that he lives with as long as they are together. That she'd be happier if she sees him and that he comes home every time he is done for the day.
I can't do that to you, Sakura.
Itachi is informed by his father as he arrives at the Uchiha Headquarters that a group of gang that they hired previously is now plotting to overthrow Fugaku. This was one of the reasons that prompted his father to elevate his status as the leader of the mafia gang as Fugaku's health deteriorates. The Uchiha clan needed to maintain its dominance over the city. It needed to reinstate strength, forging alliances, and ultimately, secure trust amongst its network.
Itachi becomes the Mafia Lord despite the political turmoil raging through the underworld. It has always been that way.
Maintain the power at all costs.
This time, that power came at the cost of losing the love of his life.
The only love of his life.
Every so often, she passes through his mind without his will. He despises that. He loathes that he could not let her out of his mind. It was as if his own brain is defying him, telling him that he is making a huge mistake for ending them.
But he reasons that it will be an even bigger mistake if he allows himself to continue being with her. Becoming the leader pays a hefty price. If people find out that he has a weakness, they would use it against him. They would pit her against him. Make him fall to his knees, begging for her. Hurt her to see him lose control over them. Because who would love a trophy when they made the Mafia Lord of the Uchiha be on his knees as he begs for mercy.
As he makes the final checks on his devices, his eyes widen as he sees the three-ringed necklace sitting near his computer. He remembers that necklace very well. It belongs to him but he knows how the necklace came to be his. He never forgets the day that Sakura returns his feelings as he asks her to be his.
"I promise you, whatever happens, I will always be yours," he cups her cheeks and looks into the emerald eyes he adores. He sees Sakura's eyes glistening and she chuckles. He feels like he is on cloud nine, having to hear that Sakura shares the same feelings as he does towards her.
He doesn't expect her to reciprocate what he feels for her. She knew of his affiliations, his ties to the underworld, and of his violent tendencies when the situation required it of him.
But beyond his comprehension, the Itachi she sees is not one that is full of anger, bitterness and ferocity.
The Itachi she sees is the loving, kind, smart, witty, caring Itachi.
The Itachi that partially sits on the hood of his car as he waits for her to exit the hospital door.
The Itachi that takes her out for sweet treats when she is feeling down.
The Itachi that believes in her when she feels inadequate of her abilities, her studies and her achievements.
The Itachi that cups her cheeks and wipes her tears, and takes away her tears, and tells her everything will be fine.
The Itachi that never raises his voice to her even when she knows he is annoyed.
The Itachi that quietly glances at her as he lets her help him with his injuries in their home when he profusely refuses to get proper treatment at the hospital.
He chuckles rather emptily. What good can come out of him reminiscing over their time together? He has let that go when he grimly ends their relationship.
His mind forces him to remember the time he sustained injuries after punching the life out of a group of ten members who had the audacity to harass her. He throws punches over punches. He takes a beating on his back when he sees Sakura screaming for him as two of them tug her away, forcing her to watch as they were about to beat the life out of him. He doesn't let that happen, of course. The violence within him surges as he sees her crying at the alleyway, trying to release herself from the gang members.
He does not bother to remember how or when the entire ordeal ends, but he remembers bringing Sakura back home and checks her entire body for injury. A single scratch on her arm ignites a fire within him.
"Itachi, I'm fine now. It's okay," she reassures him and tries to take his hands away. In response, Itachi does not feel the same, he wants to know, he has to know that Sakura is really out of harm's way.
"I'm sorry this happened to you. They won't be coming for you ever again," he tells her.
The following morning news of the same 10 bodies found on the alleyway did not miss Sakura's knowledge that Itachi had something to do with it.
Itachi removes the hair falling onto his face and sighs.
He repeats to himself that there is no "Itachi and Sakura" anymore. No "them". He demands himself to be content with what happened and what he has done to her.
Letting out a sigh, he turns his head as he hears the doors open and he sees his father standing on the doorway. He takes in a deep breath so he attempts to withstand and hide his feelings from his father.
His father's features have always been one with hard looks, stern eyes and command strict adherence and loyalty. To the outside world, his father is the ruthless, no nonsense leader. But to him, Fugaku is his father. His father can read him, even if it is difficult for him to understand his father's actions sometimes.
Itachi had an inkling that his father understands what he is going through because not too long ago, his father was in the same battle that he is in. When the Akatsuki Clan attacked Mikoto in their attempt to regain control over the city, Fugaku burned the Akatsuki Clan's headquarters to the ground.
By the time he found her on the ground of the building, Mikoto was already unconscious. She was hanging by a thread and endured three days of surgery. His parents never told him what really happened to her, but Itachi vaguely understood how horrible things were for his parents before they got to where they are today.
Itachi tries to make an example out of his parents' marriage, that if they can do it, he can make it work with Sakura too.
His father tells him otherwise. The Uchiha clan and the factions of the city it controls are more divided than ever today. His father is able to weather the storm raging through his marriage because back in those days, Fugaku knew who to trust and who not to.
The landscape that lies in Itachi's leadership is different.
As the number of double agents grow, more members continue betraying the clan and other gang members attempt to poach the Uchiha members, Itachi has the responsibility not just to ensure the survivability of the mafia clan but to retain loyalty within the organisation. He cannot afford to be distracted by the plays of romance, and to be turning on the joyful wheels of life.
His responsibility is black and white. His missions are clear - all for the Uchiha clan.
"Ending this with Sakura is the right choice," Fugaku tells him.
But how can it be the right decision if his heart keeps on yearning for her?
Every morning he wakes up, he misses her. The break up forced Sakura to move out from his - their - place as her broken heart could not stand the cruelty he executed upon her.
He misses the sound of the kitchen pots hitting and coffee machine brewing when he gets out of their room.
He misses the smell of the miso soup she cooks as he sits at their table before they start their day.
He misses her telling him her schedule for the day so they both would be assured that they are safe, when she is occupied at the hospital for her patients, and when he is away on his duties for the Uchiha gang.
How come he feels the pain in his chest when he thinks of how much he has hurt her?
He leaves for the rooftop of the Uchiha Headquarters as his father concludes the expectation that he has to fulfil for the Uchiha clan.
The winds of winter are still harsh upon Konoha City. Itachi tucks his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he stands by the railing and looks over the city. The skies hovering over the city were grey, as if they understood what he is going through.
Hesitantly, he reaches out to his pocket. He doesn't want to do it but after weeks of barely getting any sleep, endless hours of training by himself and taking out solo assignments for the gang, he feels as if he is on the brink of insanity. He opens a packet of cigarettes with one hand and his other hand attempts to light up its tip.
"Tch. Sakura would be mad if she finds out you're back on that thing," he sees Shisui lifting himself off from the wall and approaches him.
"Me quitting won't bring her back," he replies. It was my fault.
It is true. When his relationship with Sakura started, she made it clear to him that she doesn't want him to be smoking anymore. She thinks that it is dangerous, especially that he tends to forget his meals at times. Something about why should he depend on such an unhealthy habit rather than depending on her, he recalls. It took her a lot of effort to get him to quit smoking before he threw out the cigarette boxes and promised her to live a little healthier. For her happiness.
A bittersweet memory he has of her.
"I'll tell her that you're smoking again so she can beat the hell out of you!" Shisui attempts some humour, even though he knows that humour is the last, if there even was, thing on his cousin's mind. Itachi sighs.
"What do you want?"
"That bad, huh?" Shisui approaches the railing and stands next to his cousin. He remains staring into the vast ocean of the city before both of them, calculating his ways to get his cousin to open up to him.
Shisui is one of the rare people Itachi trusts more than anything in the world. His cousin, the pillar that Itachi leans on, Shisui knows what ticks him, the subtle raise of an eyebrow as he indicates that his interests or that he is amused, what it means for him to let out a dry cough out of nowhere, especially when he is feels awkward in a social setting. They grew up together. They protected the Uchiha gang together. Every kick, every punch and every bullet, Shisui knows him.
"It's hard, isn't it. To be wanting to protect her but having to carry this life with you."
"Protecting her isn't the problem," Itachi replies, his eyes still looking blankly towards the city.
Alas, Shisui knows he is getting somewhere with his cousin.
"It's when I look away for a second… she'll…" Itachi gulps. "Disappear," he mutters and he lifts his right as he takes another puff of his cigarette.
She'll get hurt.
She'll know this is not the life she wants.
She knows that I don't deserve her.
That I'm not enough.
Itachi finds he cannot control a tear slipping through his cheek. His nose instantly reddens as he tries to control the vulnerability that dominates his entire being.
"When Kabuto stabbed her day, it'll happen again." He runs his fingers through the front parts of his hair.
"Is that why you ended things with her?"
"She almost died, Shisui! I-" he unwillingly raised his voice at his cousin. "She doesn't deserve this kind of life."
"Won't she get hurt if you're not there with her?"
This is frustrating. Doesn't anyone understand his reason? His misery? His stupid, idealistic, selfish dream of protecting her. Him lying to her.
"She'll always be the target if they know she's…" My weakness, he thinks.
He feels a sharp wheezing in his chest as he breathes.
"It hurts…" he squeezes his eyes and his right hand grips the fabric of his left chest.
"It hurts so much," he chokes a sob.
A/N: I had fun writing this chapter as well. Kind of loving the angst here. I hope you are too! Let me know if you're sharing what I feel too! Stay tuned~