Tommy woke to the silence that only comes during a blizzard. He reached up and pulled back the blinds and was met with a foot of snow pushed up against the window. He glanced over and saw Kim was curled into his side and he let out a long sigh. Sure Cupid had fixed their relationship here, but he knew this wouldn't last. He knew that when they got back to their world it would all come crashing down. Everything that happened in the other worlds was reversed when they got back home and he couldn't live with her hating him again. So he made the decision that he would be there for her while they were here, but he couldn't really let her in again. Even though everything in him told him that it was stupid to even try to fight it.

"Is it morning?" Kim whispered as he realized how close her lips were to his neck. He didn't trust himself to speak and gave her a quick nod as he tried to adjust his grip on her. Instead of pulling away like she had, for years, she moved closer. This was worse torture than Kimberly would have ever been able to pull off in her wildest dreams- he knew that this would not last and he would be broken when it was over. "I slept all night."

"Yeah. I'm glad the nightmares weren't that bad." Tommy sat up and moved away from her, desperate to put some space between them. He heard her moving behind him and then felt her arms wrap around him. "Kim- I can't do this."

"Why not?" He let out a groan as her hands roamed his body. Maybe he could have sex with her and it not have him fall again. One glance back at her told him that that was stupid.

"Because this isn't going to last. We're going to defeat Lipretere, get back to our world, and you're going to hate me again. And you should hate me, I'm not arguing with you about that. But I can't do this. I can't fall in love with you again and you love me and…and that not be my life when we get home," Tommy said as he stood up and she stared at him. "I cheated on you. Repeatedly. And being evil doesn't excuse that. I am living with my punishment for that and I will continue to live with that. Even though whatever that Cupid did has changed things here. I just…"

"Why did I hold on to it for so long?" Kim asked as she followed him and he gave her a confused look. He had never really held it against her that she hated him for what he had done. "I don't remember what you did. I mean none of what you said is a shock, but it's like…it's like that was washed out of my memory."

"Breakfast is ready," Dean threw the door open and they both turned to face him. "It's still coming down heavy out there, so we're stuck here. Sam thought you might want to see the tv show of your lives."

"Oooooh that sounds fun," Kim jumped at the opportunity to learn more about Tommy, as she felt so much amnesia about their past. Tommy gave her a look like she had lost her mind- the little bit he had seen of the tv show had not been accurate. Not even remotely close to accurate. "See you down there."

"Tell Cas that I want my normal her back. Not this version who has no idea what I've done. No idea why she should hate me." Tommy pegged Dean against the wall and Dean tried to throw him off, but found that he couldn't move him. There were only a handful of beings he had ever met that could do that to him and none of them had ever been human. "If we're going to fix it- it isn't going to be like this."

"This isn't your world. I will not change the orders from heaven for the both of you," Cas whispered in Tommy's ear as he jumped and spun around to face him.

"Cas, man. We've had this talk. You have to stay off people's asses. He can actually hurt you," Dean said as Cas looked between the both of them and Tommy just shook his head. He wouldn't hurt the angel, but that was only because he had been useful so far. "What's the harm in her actually liking you again?"

"Because it'll be torture when I can't have her anymore and I know that is coming. I know that will happen as soon as we get back home. Things like this always backfire and I've lived it too many times to do this again," Tommy explained as Cas and Dean stilled. They had not thought about it like that, but it was obvious that Tommy had gone through exactly something like this before and he couldn't take it again. "What do you think my nightmares are? It's not losing her- it's getting her back and it falling apart. I'm done with that."

"I'll see if he can give her, her memories back." Cas said as he disappeared and Tommy looked back at Dean who just shook his head to not really think about it. This was just how Cas was and it was best to just accept it.

"I didn't know he'd take her memories," Dean muttered as Tommy just nodded as he walked past him. "Can you show me how you did that hold? I could really use it the next time we run into…well…anything I need to threaten."

"Sure. It looks like I've got time," Tommy said as he saw the self-satisfied smile on Dean's face and he just shook his head. He was shocked when he realized that they had really made breakfast for them- not just thrown cereal in a bowl.

"Bobby felt bad that she had to protect this place for well over a day by herself. Don't question it. Breakfast is the one thing the man can make that is worth eating," Dean mock whispered as Bobby glared over at him.

"Don't worry- I only poisoned part of it," Bobby said as he placed a plate in front of Dean and then another in front of Tommy. "We're going to be lucky if the power holds. The radio said that it's just sitting here and we should be prepared for a week or more of this."

"A week," Kim stated as she looked over at Tommy and then let out a long sigh. Parts of their lives were so clear and other parts were fractured and she was struggling to remember what was and was not real. "We have people who will notice we're gone, right?"

"You do. The folks that will notice me missing will be able to guess what happened and they won't worry about me too much, at least not at first," Tommy said as she just nodded. "You don't remember that?"

"It's all fuzzy. I know I love you, but everything else is fuzzy," Kim muttered as Dean choked on his drink and Bobby beat him harshly on the back. "What?"

"You hated me less than 24 hours ago. If you're going to fall in love with me again- it's not going to be like this Kim. It's going to be with you remembering everything I've done," Tommy stated as Kim just shook her head. "Yes. I've done some things that you weren't able to forgive me on."

"But you forgave me for sleeping with your best friend?" Kim asked as the table went silent and Tommy just stared at the ceiling. He had always suspected that she had gone to Jason for comfort. Jason had never really said anything to him about it, but he had always known in his gut that she set out to hurt him with who she chose to sleep with after that evil stint. And the person that would hurt him the most was Jason.

"Yeah. You only did it to get back at me and…well…I deserved it," Tommy stated as he shoveled food in his mouth so that he didn't have to talk about this for a little bit.

"How did you deserve it?" Kim asked as she reached out and touched his arm and he looked up from his plate to her. He hated seeing her feeling helpless and that was definitely how she felt right now. "Tommy…"

"I was on my fourth team when I was turned evil again…"

Flashback

Tommy stared in front of him, seeing what was there, but feeling separated from it. He looked down at his hands and saw them clad in ranger gloves. He was a ranger, again. He looked around the room and dread filled his stomach. He was back on the island. Somehow he had been brought back to this God forsaken island. He then realized he was talking. He was saying, something and when he tried to focus, he felt himself being pushed further back. It was then that it hit him, he wasn't just a ranger again. He was evil again too.

"You've been working on your list quite diligently, but I notice that you've avoided my order to kill Kimberly. Why?" Mesogog asked as Tommy fought as hard as he could to get to the surface. He could tell when he breached it because the colors of the world finally shifted back to normal.

"You keep the fuck away from her you son of a…" he was cut off and he tried to fight the gag. He had always been somewhat in control when he was evil, but it was so different this time.

"Well- if you won't let him kill her, maybe you won't fight as hard with this," Mesogog said as he walked over to him and whispered in his ear. "Fuck every woman you come in contact with- make her mad enough to kill him. Then she'll kill herself."

Tommy slammed his fists against the binds he felt holding him. He could not do this to her, even if he knew it wasn't him. He could not cheat on her like this. He had to be able to break out of it.

He had no idea how long it had been, but he had watched himself- his body- have sex with woman after woman. He had fought against it. He had made his body into the shittiest of lovers that had ever existed, but he had never been able to get back to the surface. He had never been able to take control back again. He had watched as Kimberly knew something was wrong with him. He had watched as she figured out he was evil and then figured out how deep it went. He had slept with women in their bed. He had made sure she walked in on it and he had fought against every single move that Mesogog had him making. It wasn't enough. He was not sure what would be enough for him to be able to break out of this and get back to her. To be able to explain to her what was really going on and how much he had fought against all of it.

"You finally broke her," Mesogog said as he showed Tommy a video of their home. He showed him how much Kimberly was losing it as she trashed their home. He saw her destroying pictures, albums, decorations, anything that reminded her of him. He finally felt the grip on his body loosening and he knew. He knew then that he was breaking the evil that had held on to him for so long. He knew that he was breaking it, because it broke him to see her like this. It broke him to know that he had hurt her so badly even though he had been fighting hard to stop it all of this time. When he came to the surface, he saw the rod that Mesogog had used to control him. He walked over to it and broke it, feeling his full freedom return. Mesogog stared as Tommy wheeled around on him. Fine. He may have lost the love of his life, but he was going to make sure that the being that caused the both of them all this pain met an equally painful end.

End Flashback

"Have you told me all of this before?" Kim asked as the rest of the room was silent and Tommy nodded. He hated what he had done while he was under Mesogogg's influence. He hated that he had hurt her so much and had left her life in shambles. What he hated most right now though, was that laying his soul bare wasn't going to matter. She was not herself. "I don't understand why I never forgave you."

"I do. I hurt you in ways I promised that I never would. So- you can fall in love with me again, but it's not going to be without all your memories. Because I can't do life without you if I really let my walls down in this world and you go back to hating me in our world," Tommy stated as Kim looked down at the floor before she nodded. She didn't want to agree with him, but she knew that he wouldn't be this adamant unless she had completely pushed him away. She could feel some of the hurt, but it was so greatly dulled that it only seemed like a minor inconvenience now.

AN: Welcome to Labor Day Weekend! All of my current stories are going to get an extra chapter over the weekend. The posting schedule is going to look something like this: Thurs/Sun- Time of the Yogen-sha; Fri- When the Levee Breaks; Sat/Mon- I'm Gonna Cry.