Believe in Me

by Miqila

The war is over and Nikolo has to leave from Paradis, but he makes a promise to Sasha that he'll return one day to tell her something. However, things don't always go as planned and no one hears from Nikolo in a long, long time. Will Sasha's faith in him waver or will she wait for him like she has promised?

67. Chapter 67

Chapter 67

When Sasha wakes up, she's momentarily confused by the softness of the mattress under her. She blinks a few times, rubbing the sleep from her eyes before taking a look around. She was on a bed, and there was a small bedside table, which held a book and a lantern, next to it, and it was enough to tell her she was not in her cell anymore. Her eyes continue to roam around the room, and after passing a small dresser her gaze lands on a neatly organized table under a window where the day's last rays of light were coming in from, she finally remembers where she is.

"No wonder I didn't feel alarmed…" Sasha yawns "Is Jean back yet? Does he even have another key?"

It's then that Sasha hears knocking, and she realizes it must've been what woke her up in the first place. She stretches a little bit before going to the door, but instead of opening it, she questions who's there.

"It's me!" she hears Emil's voice in a half whisper "Hurry up and open the door!"

His voice sounds urgent, so Sasha quickly obeys, coming face to face with her brother holding a large bag and another man wearing a scout's hood, but she wasn't sure if he was one, for he didn't wear a uniform.

"We gotta hide this guy there, too" Emil says as the man lifts his hood enough to show his face. Herbert "Jean will be back soon, but until then, you two need to stay put."

"Got it" Sasha says and makes way for Herbert to come inside, and he takes the hint "Did he manage to tell the commander?"

"I think so. Now I gotta go; Jean said to not linger around here too long. Make sure you lock the door- oh, right!" he hands the bag to Sasha "Some provisions; Jean figured you must be starving."

"You bet I am!" Sasha says with a grin "Tell him I said thanks!"

"I will"

Sasha locks the door as soon as Emil's gone before turning to face Herbert.

"Well, guess it's just you and me again" she goes to sit back on the bed, rummaging through the bag as she does "How did it go? Did Jean fetch you himself or did Thomas help? He knows you're safe, right?"

Herbert stares at her for a moment, the uneasy look on his face gluing Sasha in on his discomfort, and she feels bad about causing it; perhaps her barrage of questions came out like an interrogation, like a demand. She's just about to tell him that he doesn't need to answer if he doesn't want to, Herbert speaks: "Yes, Thomas knows. He led Mr. Kirstein to the right place, and left after making sure I knew who the man was. He then handed me the coat and told me to follow him, before taking me to the man from before, Emil, wasn't it? And then he just told him to take me to you and for us to wait for further orders."

"And no one else noticed anything?"

At this, Herbert looks away, fiddling with the sleeve of the borrowed jacket he was still wearing.

"I… I don't think I would've noticed it if someone did; I was too nervous. But at least no one approached us on our way here; of that, I'm sure."

It was on the tip of Sasha's tongue to scold Herbert for not paying attention to his surroundings, but remembering that he wasn't a soldier like the rest of them, she held it back just in time. The man had been through enough already, and even if she pointed out his mistakes now, what good would it do?

"It's all good" Sasha assures herself as she pulls out a provision bar, peeling off the wrapping "Jean kept his eyes open for sure; if something's up, he'll deal with it. Emil's not an idiot, either; if he saw someone look at them funny, he's sure to tell Jean."

"…I knew I should've paid attention, but I… I was afraid of looking suspicious and attracting attention… I'm sorry…" Herbert mutters, drawing Sasha out of her thoughts.

"No no, it's all good! I mean, yeah, you should've paid attention, but you're a civilian- you are, right?" at Herbert's nod, she continues: "Right, you're a civilian, so it couldn't be helped! Yeah! It's up to us soldiers to take care of things, so you don't have to worry! I'm sure Jean already has a plan to smuggle you inland, and even if he doesn't, how hard can it be? Certainly not harder than sneaking here from Marley!"

"I guess not…"

A silence follows. Sasha bites in to the provision bar, had those things always tasted this good, she wonders,

The silence drags on and Sasha realizes she hadn't felt this awkward in the company of a stranger, that's kind of what they still were, in a long time. She'd gotten good with people over the years, but sitting here, she realizes how rusty she'd gotten during her nine months away.

"Or maybe I'm still just too tired to think properly… "either way, she tries to come up with something to talk about as she munches on. After all, who knew how long it'd take for Jean to get back.

"So… what are you gonna do once everything's sorted out? Got any plans on what to do for a living?" Sasha tries to start a conversation, but realizes that she should've chosen another topic when she sees Herbert flinch "Sorry, shouldn't have asked! Er… dinner?" she hastily offers the bag to Herbert. He accepts it with a thanks, deciding to speak, although hesitantly, as he goes through it.

"Not really… my brother, who I was originally supposed to sneak in here with, and I never really thought that far. The plan was just to get some physically demanding odd jobs, those are what we were used to, once we got here and somehow build a life around that, piece by piece. It sounded good enough at the time, but without him with me…"

Sasha bites her lip, having finished her small snack, wondering what she should say to that. "It'll all work out, eventually" is what she believed, but would it be insensitive to say something so optimistic? She didn't know. She wished she'd taken something else from the bag too before handing it over to Herbert so that she could occupy her mouth with something and lessen the risk of saying something stupid.

"Why do I feel like Jean would find the right words even though he's always so harsh? …The captain too, now that I think about it… he might end up scaring Herbert first, though."

She missed him, having still not seen the man. She'd ask Jean where to find him once he showed up.

"Well, I'm here, and I'll help with what I can" she settles on saying, smiling a little "Not as reassuring as having your brother with you, I'm sure, but you're not alone."

Herbert is clearly startled by her words, but then nods. Sasha smiles brightly, accepting the bag back after Herbert has pulled out a piece of bread, a provision bar and a water bottle. The last one surprises Sasha, she hadn't expected there to be one, but as she rummages through the bag again, she finds another one and realizes Jean must've shoved them in specifically for them. It's only when she takes the first sip that Sasha realizes just how thirsty she'd been.

After they've eaten, Sasha stands up and says: "You must be tired, so you take the bed and get some rest while I take a look around to see if Jean is hiding something interesting here!"

"But aren't you tired as well? …And should you really be going through someone else's stuff?" the later part comes out of Herbert's mouth uncertainly, like he's not sure if it's okay for him to question Sasha's intentions. She pretends not to notice.

"It's fine; this is how we are, Jean and I. If our roles were switched, he'd do the same to me" she assures, not mentioning that the man was more likely to do so as revenge than anything else. Connie was more on the same wavelength as her; if he got a good chance to get a laugh in her expense, he wouldn't waste it.

Sasha gets up, starting to go through the papers on Jean's desk. Most are official stuff, so she dismisses them as uninteresting, especially since she shouldn't be reading something that could be classified; that was where she drew the line.

From the corner of her eye, she sees Herbert taking up her advice, going to bed. Her calm smile widens a little before she returns to her treasure hunt.

XXXXX

"Heard you're giving some kind of speech again tonight; looking forward to it" a man Nikolo has known as a business associate of his family for as long as he can remember says as a form of goodbye before moving to greet another familiar face. The former soldier lets out a sigh, unsure if what he has to say tonight will satisfy his watchmen. So far, he's gotten away with keeping speeches that have put the weight on the bravery of his fellow soldiers, keeping Eldians, even those of Paradis, as a sidenote at best, but now, it had been made clear that it was no longer enough. Dr. Becker had personally come to this gathering to see that Nikolo would be of use. At first, the man had taken it as a simple threat, but after actually seeing the doctor there, he realized he'd been wrong. He shouldn't have been surprised; after all, the fact that he was allowed to keep these speeches about "the bravery of his comrades and the glorious future of Marley" was definitely the doctor's doing as well. He didn't know who the man had spoken to, but in the end, he'd managed to arrange things in a way that no one considered it weird for Nikolo to do what he was doing. Some of their family's business associates had even talked his family in to supporting it, or as Nikolo knew, not directly opposing it. He knew that without clear backing from those with influence, they wouldn't let him do this. His mother was still against it in fact, but fortunately, her word alone wasn't enough to convince his father.

"I hope you're well prepared for your speech" Nikolo hears, and he doesn't have to turn around to know that it's the doctor "And hopefully, your message will be clearer than last time."

"How was my message unclear last time? I praised my brave comrades, some who've already been lost since those times. Why should I not respect their memory?" Nikolo asks despite knowing full well what the man means.

"Should I quote that speech of yours?" the doctor asks, doing so without waiting for an answer: "My comrades and I faced some hard times on that island. In all honesty, I didn't get along with some of them at first, but once in extreme circumstances, people have to look past first impressions in order to survive. Some of us did, some of us didn't. Some of us came back, some didn't."

"What I'm saying is this: don't be too fast to judge people" Nikolo finishes the end of the speech he kept a few weeks ago in the birthday party of an older, well-off man who his family had been doing business with since his grandfather was young "And what was the problem with that? Even in the world of business, it's sometimes good to look past old blunders in the favor of a deal that will benefit both sides."

"Don't pretend you didn't have any hidden meanings in what you said. The message you were really trying to put out there was to not judge Eldians too fast; I know you fell enough by now to notice that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Nikolo says, maintaining his poker face "But if you thought of a hidden meaning like that, perhaps it's the way you think. Are you, perhaps, having second thoughts about what you've been taught about Eldians?"

The man opens his mouth, but then closes it, having no immediate comeback, and Nikolo can pinpoint the moment Dr. Becker realizes that he'd been outwitted, the reddening of his angry face being the cue.

"You-!"

"There you are, Nicky!" Ulrich says, overly cheerful as he slaps Nikolo on the back, managing to sneak up on him "I've been looking all over for you!"

He faces the doctor.

"Hopefully my brother hasn't been causing any trouble for you, sir. You see, sometimes he gets a little nervous before keeping a speech… I believe it's called stage fright, is it not?"

Nikolo casts a brief look at Ulrich before turning his attention back to the doctor who, judging from the frown on his face, is calculating if causing a scene now would be worth it or not.

"…Yes, it is" the man finally says "Happens to the best of us. I'm looking forward to your speech, which is sure to be enlightening."

He straightens out his jacket and turns to walk away. Nikolo watches him go, making sure not to glare too hard in case someone was watching, but no one could mistake his gaze for a fond one, that was for sure.

"Ow" he can't help but hiss as he feels something hit his head. Not hard enough to actually be harmful, but still enough to hurt. Annoyed, he turns to glare at his brother, who's glaring right back.

"It looked like you were trying to piss the man off" Ulrich hisses "Don't you have a self-preservation instinct?"

Nikolo decides to ignore both the accusation and the question, asking one of his own instead: "Is mom still nervous about me saying something stupid when I give my speech?"

"Not as much as the first time, but she'd stop you if she could" Ulrich answers "I would stop you if I could, and so would dad, but he can read between the lines enough to know that none of this was your idea."

Nikolo was surprised about that, though he supposed he shouldn't be; after all, why would his father take the risk of him bringing shame to the family after everything that had happened? It should've been clear that someone had pressured him in to not intervening.

"Don't tell dad I told you this, but he's keeping his eyes and ears open in case he could find out exactly who's pulling the strings."

"It would probably be safer for everyone to not get involved any more than they already are by being part of my family" Nikolo points out, making Ulrich sigh and scratch his head, which he quickly stops once remembering where they were.

"I know, and of course dad does, too, but it's not like I can stop him; it was hard enough to keep Bianka from getting involved!"

"Bianka?" Nikolo echoes, confused "What does she have to do with any of this?"

Ulrich scoffs.

"C'mon, give her some credit. She's smart and, more importantly, she knows you. She could tell right away that you wanting to talk about the island to other people wasn't your own idea. She asked about it, but I said I'd handle it and convinced her to stay out of this. Not that it was hard; as you know, she knows how to avoid trouble. She's been keeping an eye on mom for us too, trying to keep her from putting her nose anywhere dangerous. Not that that is hard either; she's not that smart, and tends to listen to our sister."

"…Next you'll probably say that Viktor and grandfather are somehow involved, too"

"Viktor, no. As for grandfather… well, he knows things, that's for sure. But if he's up to something, he's managed to hide it."

Nikolo is about to ask if his older brother has any ideas about what that something is, but seeing the familiar face of an old business associate of their family, one that he was convinced had some ties with Dr. Becker, approaching them over Ulrich's shoulder, he swiftly changes the subject: "Do you know if Bianka and her husband will join us today?"

To Ulrich's credit, he caught on without missing a beat: "I haven't seen them yet, so I doubt it. I'm going to- "

As he says this, he turns around as if to leave, but in reality, aiming to see who Nikolo had seen.

"Ah, Mr. Danglars, what a pleasant surprise!" Ulrich says, managing to keep even a drop of sarcasm entering his greeting even though Nikolo knew his brother wasn't pleased at all "Father has mentioned how busy you are these days, so I wasn't sure if we'd see you tonight!"

"Everyone needs a break from time to time" he says, shaking the hands of both of the brothers, squeezing Nikolo's hand harder than necessary "I'm looking forward to what you have to tell us tonight; it's one of the reasons I made the time to come here. And I think I might not be the only one; the Morrels, the Azumabitos and even the Rothenbergs are here! They usually show up only on nights far more important than this one."

"Which is why I'm sure I didn't impact their will to come here" Nikolo says "The things I tell are not that interesting, really."

"Nonsense, young man!"

"Now now sir, at this rate, your words will get to my younger brother's head too much" Ulrich says with a laugh, and while Nikolo thinks it's a joke, he can't bring himself to be completely sure.

"A brave veteran of war is allowed to be a little proud of himself" the man counters easily "So, when will you start?"

"I haven't decided yet. I'll wait for a good timing, so- "

"What better time is there than now?" Danglars asks and, without waiting for an answer, gets everyone's attention: "Everyone! One of the great soldiers of Marley that we all know and are proud of is about to tell us about the Island of Devils, so gather around!"

Nikolo grits his teeth, barely suppressing a groan. Like it wasn't enough that he wasn't given any time to think; now he needed to tell something specific about the island!

"Alright, I'll go with… first impressions. Yes, that'll work. I don't have to tell a single lie with that, I was scared as hell after all, and it should get the doctor off my back for the time being. I'll come up with something better for the next time in advance… as in, start planning tonight!"

By now everyone's, as far as Nikolo could tell from his spot at least, attention was on him, so he had no choice but to start. He told about being one of the first ones to step on land, about how he and the few others had been worried about being found by a stray titan despite it being in the middle of the night, yet getting caught completely off guard by the ambush coming down at them from the trees.

"From the trees? How?" someone interrupts.

"That's classified information" Nikolo easily answers, knowing that any details about the island's military equipment was not to be released to the public through anything but official, government-controlled sources. He also knew that whispers, some of them very accurate, were going around in these circles as well, but in his position, it was wiser to pretend to not know.

Ignoring the dissatisfied grumbling about his answer, Nikolo continues his tale about how they were taken as hostages and briefly interrogated, before the small group of Eldians, he didn't specify how small; that could've gotten him in trouble, but he assumed that people present assumed it to have been at least twenty, faced their ship and ambushed it as well with the help of the founding titan. And that was that; they were prisoners. He was sure that by now everyone had heard whispers about the traitors on board, but upon returning, it had been made clear to all of them to not admit such a thing to people. Thankfully, everyone present seemed to realize that on their own, and he wasn't asked about those rumors. Just when Nikolo thinks he's in the clear for the night, Danglars prompts him: "The night is still young; do not stop there! We'd like to hear more."

"Yeah, we do!" someone has clearly drunken too much by now, Nikolo can tell from the voice. By instinct, he turns to look who it was, but forgets immediately what he was looking for when his gaze lands on a familiar face among the crowd. He sees the head of the Azumabito clan, a woman he recognizes yet doesn't know personally. But he does know the woman standing right next to the older one, the red scarf around her neck very out of place with the fancy, flower decorated kimono she's wearing.

Mikasa.

Nikolo freezes. It was definitely her; he wouldn't mistake that piercing stare. But why was she here? And more importantly, how? Sneaking in to Marley was one thing, that she could probably pull off, but here? How has she done it without raising questions about who she was? Did she have a convincing lie sorted out?

She doesn't seem to be saying anything, doesn't approach him, but her eyes are locked on Nikolo. Suddenly, what he'd just told everyone, the way he'd told it all, started to feel like a bad move.

"Nicky? Are you alright?" Ulrich asks, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder, startling Nikolo out of his thoughts.

"I- "looking around himself, Nikolo sees all eyes on him. What should he say, what should he do? All he knows is that he needs to make some kind of move, and fast "I need some fresh air."

Is what he settles on, using the last of his strength to walk out instead of run, though even that little self-restraint vanishes when he gets outside, and he starts to run, deep in to the garden, following a well-kept stone path, barely even registering that he does so.

The mansion's far by the time Nikolo stops, only doing so due to coming to the edge of the garden and getting stopped by a high fence, but as he does, it takes him a while to catch his breath. He leans forward with his hands on his knees, wondering exactly how badly had he just messed up.

Was Mikasa angry? Without a doubt. Was Ulrich angry and worried? Definitely, and he could probably throw in some disappointment, too. And all three of those for his parents as well. But what about Dr. Becker? That was probably his biggest problem right now. He takes a deep breath. He didn't know what to do, but he knew that hiding and running wouldn't solve anything, so he should head back. He'd walk calmly; perhaps he'd come up with something on his way. The air might really be what he needed.

With some sense of plan built up, Nikolo straightens himself and turns around to head back, only to let out a pitiful yelp and fall on his backside in fright when he comes face to face with Mikasa.

She stands there, the hem of her kimono a little messy from the run she'd undoubtedly done to catch up this fast, but despite that, she isn't even sweating and for a moment, Nikolo understands perfectly why the Ackerman clan is feared. How did she even manage to run in those weird shoes, geta, he thinks they may have been called, in the first place? He would've thought they'd fall off easily.

Daring to look her in the eyes, Nikolo sees Mikasa's face hold the blank stare he's most used to, though there is a small furrow of her brows. She's not happy about something, and he's pretty sure that "something" is him.

Realizing that Mikasa didn't intend to be the one to break the silence, Nikolo does it instead. He has to open and close his mouth a few times before he finds his voice, but eventually, he speaks: "How… how did you get here?"

"The garden or Marley?"

"Marley, obviously" Nikolo wanted to say, but for once, his self-preservation instincts were working.

"Marley. And the gathering. Sneaking in to the country undetected might not be too hard for you, but here? How come no one seemed to question who you are?"

"I came as a member of the Azumabito clan; aside from them, no one here knows I'm from the island, or even of my Eldian heritage."

While Nikolo had known that Hizuru had close ties to the island through the Azumabito clan, he hadn't expected them to be close enough to take a risk like this. Why would they do so, anyway?

"It must be personal; the clan is behind this, not the entire country" he realizes "Now that I think of it, Mikasa does clearly have Asian features. She might very well be a relative of theirs."

And now that he was able to think calmly, he realized that Sasha had said something about Mikasa and someone by the name of Kiyomi. He hadn't realized it meant the head of the Azumabito family.

"What you said in there wasn't nice" it's not a question, but it makes clear that Mikasa is waiting for an explanation.

"If I don't slander the island, I'll get locked up or, if they can't get a convenient enough excuse for that, possibly killed." Nikolo sighs "I try to balance things out, to not say anything too bad, but that makes certain people irritated and suspicious of me. I actually thought I did well tonight, since I didn't even lie. I was really scared at that time, terrified really."

"I don't doubt that, but have you considered the harm telling people that might cause to the island? To us? To Sasha?"

Nikolo would have had to been an idiot to not expect that question, so he was prepared.

"I have" he says "Do you know that Sasha got herself in a mess that caused her to end up in Marley as a prisoner?"

He didn't know how long Mikasa had been gone from the island, nor if any word from there got to her. If she didn't know-

"I do, but I'm surprised that you've found out about it" she narrows her eyes at him "Since you know, what are you planning to do about it?"

"Right now, all I can do is wait for my friend to either confirm or deny that a certain captain has kept his promise. If he has, then Sasha's already back on the island, and I can focus on my own problem. If he hasn't, I need to come up with a way to help her, and to be able to do that, I need to stay on good terms with certain people that are keeping an eye on me, which includes making sure no one has too positive thoughts about the island."

Mikasa looks at him in clear surprise.

"You… you found a way to send her back?"

"If a certain captain kept his word. I don't really know the man at all, so I can't tell how likely it is, but one of my friends was on the ship where Sasha was at least supposed to be on. He'll confirm if she was or wasn't, we weren't exactly sure of how, but he assured he'd either figure it out or downright go and ask someone who'd be high enough in Eldia to know if she came back, and report to me when he returns." not for the first time, the thought that Sasha wasn't on the ship but Thomas will say she was enters Nikolo's mind, but he forces the idea away; he had to, for he had no one else he could rely on… until now, he suddenly realizes.

"Honestly, Thomas is a great friend, but that is exactly why I fear that he might lie to me in order to try to keep me safe. But if you could confirm if Sasha got home and send a word to me…"

"Consider it done. I will go back as soon as possible" Mikasa says, fixing her slightly drooping scarf "What is that problem of yours that you'll deal with if Sasha's okay?"

Nikolo's surprised that she asks, and he can't tell if it's out of concern, curiosity or just for the sake of manners, but he answers regardless, telling her about his and Sasha's promise to captain Frank and his situation with Dr. Becker.

"I want to keep my promise regardless of if he kept his or not and I don't want to slander the island, but doing that will get me in trouble, so at the very last, I have to keep from doing that until Sasha's safety is confirmed. I can't risk capture before I know the truth. But if she's alright… I don't know. I won't compromise her, and the island's, safety any further, and I'll do something to help if I can, but I'd like to keep myself safe while at it. And that is going to be the hard part. I could stop these little public speeches, blame stage fright or something, and lay low. They might leave me alone, but that's not guaranteed, and even if they do, that'll help me, but not Eldia. And I want to help Eldia."

Raising a single brow, Mikasa asks: "Eldia or simply Sasha?"

Nikolo feels his face heat up, partly out of embarrassment, but also anger.

"Eldia. Sasha most of all, I can admit that, but there are others I want to protect as well! And I don't like how things are; it's just wrong, so I want to do what's right!"

Mikasa fixes her scarf again, or perhaps she just fiddles with it out of habit, Nikolo's not sure.

"It doesn't matter to me why you do the right thing, as long as you do. I'm not in the position to preach to those who do things out of personal attachment."

Nikolo doesn't know her well, but even he knows that's a fact. Wanting to change the subject, he asks: "So, what do you think of Marley?"

"Not my first time here, as I'm sure you know."

"I know; it's called making a conversation. C'mon, humor me, tell me something."

Mikasa seems to ponder it for a moment, but eventually, gives in.

"Marley's pretty much as I remembered it. These kinds of gatherings are new to me, but I don't know how people in Wall Sina socialize, so it might be the same there. As for Hizuru- "Mikasa stops midsentence, a look of surprise and alarm rising to her face. Worried, Nikolo's about to ask what's wrong, but Mikasa puts a hand in front of her lips, shushing him, before turning to the direction they'd both come from. It was dark, but the moon was bright and the sky cloudless, so Nikolo soon saw the person whose presence Mikasa had sensed before him. At first, he fears its Becker, but soon he can make out Ulrich's form, coming towards him.

"There you are!" the man yells once close enough to tell for sure, sounding far more concerned than Nikolo felt there was need "I've been looking all over for you!"

Seeing how out of breath and sloppy his brother looked, Nikolo didn't doubt it.

"Sorry, I got a little… overwhelmed" he says.

"Yeah, I figured" Ulrich says, wiping sweat from his forehead before noticing that his brother wasn't alone "Ah, pardon me miss, I didn't see you there."

He gives Nikolo a look, and it takes him a few seconds to understand that it was his cue to make some introductions.

"Mikasa, this is my older brother, Ulrich. Ulrich, this is Mikasa of the Azumabito family, she's… an old acquaintance of mine" is what Nikolo settles on after a moment of hesitation, not sure what else to call her. He had nothing against her, but calling her his friend would be an overstatement, and friend of a friend just sounded too unformal for the situation.

"What he means is that I'm a friend of the woman he's been in love with for years but hasn't had the guts to confess" Mikasa says with the same face she'd had since Ulrich appeared, much to Nikolo's horror. Then, like she hadn't said anything odd, she continues: "Nice to meet you."

Nikolo stares, his face heating up, not knowing what to say or do about that. Ulrich stares as well, clearly caught completely off guard, but he gets a hold of himself faster as he chuckles and then clears his throat.

"Yes, nice to meet you" he offers his hand for a shake, and Mikasa takes it "I have to say that you surprised me. I knew my brother had something going on, caught a glimpse of him writing a love letter once you see- "

"More like ripped it from my hands like a brute" Nikolo comments, getting a light kick to his leg for that.

"-But I thought that had gone badly since he's yet to introduce her to the family. But I take it that isn't the case?"

"Not as far as I know, but she could do better" Mikasa says, blunt as ever. Nikolo wonders if he should pull the older Azumabito aside at some point and tell her to at least teach Mikasa the basics of social etiquette "Or maybe she already did and Mikasa just doesn't care."

Ulrich's at a loss of words again, so Nikolo decides to break the silence.

"Just for the record: I did confess not that long ago, and as I'm sure Mikasa already knows, the feelings were mutual."

Both turn to look at Nikolo in surprise. Mikasa looks like she wants to say something, but then she glances at Ulrich, and holds herself back. Whatever it was, Nikolo realizes, had to wait until they were alone.

"Seriously? And you still haven't taken the time to introduce her to our family! I wonder what mom will say once she hears. And Bianka, too!"

Nikolo glares at him.

"Don't you dare. It's a complicated situation, okay?"

"And who's going to stop me? You?" Ulrich challenges, but just as Nikolo is about to give back a heated reply, Mikasa clears her throat. It startles Nikolo, but Ulrich, judging from his reddening face, had forgotten she was even there.

"I apologize that you had to see that, miss" he says hurriedly "My brother can be just- I mean with siblings, it can- …ahem, if you have siblings of your own, you probably know what I mean."

Ulrich stutters out, and Nikolo holds back a snigger. His brother was usually great at keeping up a proper act in formal situations, so on the rare times he messed up, he tended to get flustered and completely lose his composure.

"I wonder if his wife's seen him like this yet" Nikolo briefly wonders, but pushes the thought away in the favor of embarrassing Ulrich further with his next words: "She doesn't."

Just as he had thought, the red on Ulrich's face deepens, and this time Nikolo can't hold back the snigger, which quickly earns him a glare.

"I grew up with people close enough to me to be considered siblings, so I think I know what you mean" Mikasa takes mercy on the embarrassed man, though Nikolo doubts that's her intention. Again, Ulrich clears his throat.

"Right. Well, that's good… did I interrupt something when I got here?"

"No" Mikasa says, and Nikolo doesn't correct her as their small talk didn't matter to him any more than it did to her. He would've liked to talk about their shared friends, but he didn't know where to start, and with Ulrich here, he would've had to be careful of how he voiced things. It was better this way "I must head back, anyway. Better not make Kiyomi worry."

Saying her goodbyes, Mikasa disappears in to the darkness. Small part of Nikolo is relieved as well, for he believes that the more he'd interact with her, or any of his friends from Paradis, the more he'd miss Sasha. He'd never forget her, but if she'd gotten to safety like had been promised, it was perhaps better if he didn't try to cling to every single piece of connection, he had to her.

"But I'll probably end up doing that anyway" he thinks with a sigh.

"You, okay?" Ulrich asks, putting a hand on Nikolo's shoulder "You looked pretty bad right before you ran out, and it seemed like you were looking at something in particular, something that scared the hell out of you."

"I wasn't" Nikolo hurriedly insists "I… that was probably me reaching some kind of braking point? At least, I don't remember looking at anything in particular."

Ulrich stares at his brother for a while before whacking him on the head. Completely unprepared, Nikolo didn't even try to block it.

"Hey!" he protests, rubbing his head "What was that for!?"

"I can tell when you lie to me, dumbass" he answers with a glare "What are you hiding?"

Well, no point in lying then. But telling the truth was out of the question, at least for now. Maybe he could do so someday, but it was too soon. Way too soon. So, he decides on silence, simply staring at his brother. Ulrich stares right back, but he ends up being the first one to look away.

"Fine, don't tell me" He says, starting to walk back the way they came "Let's go back; mom must be worried."

Nikolo follows without a word, much more worried about the doctor than their mother.

XXXXX

Sasha sat on Jean's chair, bored and uncomfortable. She'd found some letters from Hitch, which had originally made her excited, but instead of anything mushy or, knowing both of her friends, dirty, the two had mostly written about work. They'd shared negotiation and black mail tactics, which had made Sasha very confused, until she put the pieces together after a particular end note in one of the letters.

It was all about her.

Instead of writing Hitch sappy love poems like Sasha was sure he wanted to, Jean used his time and energy to come up with ways to get the upper hand with the Marleyans in order to get her home. And Hitch allowed it, never changing the subject in their letters, at least the ones Sasha had found, in to something else.

Sasha had stopped snooping around after realizing this, and had sat still on Jean's chair since then, staring at the wall or the flame in the small lantern on Jean's table that she'd lit shortly after starting to read. In the silent of the late evening turning into night, it was easy to hear Herbert's soft breathing, the man having fallen asleep not long after laying down. She kind of wished he'd be awake; it'd be easier to distract herself with having someone to talk to, but while she was convinced, he wouldn't complain if she woke him up, she knew better than to do so. After everything that had happened, he had to be really tired.

Turning her head to look at the man, Sasha wonders what she'd be like if she was in his shoes, having to start over in a completely new place with no one she knew by her side… well, in a way she'd done it once, back when she joined the military at the age of twelve, trying to act like someone who she was not, but did that even count? She hadn't been nearly as far from home as Herbert, and while she hadn't gone back for three years, she'd always known she could do so. But Herbert couldn't, and from what Sasha had gathered, he didn't have a family to return to, either, unlike her.

To her surprise, Sasha felt tears gather at the corners of her eyes, and she hastily wipes them away, shaking her head. Too much thinking wasn't good for her; it made her too emotional.

There's a knock on the door, startling Sasha. She realizes she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard anyone approaching.

Herbert sits up, eyes wide, the knock clearly having woken him up. He looks around, alarmed, but after he sees Sasha sitting on the chair, a finger on her lips, he calms down enough to not do anything. Seeing that, Sasha silently moves to the door where a knock sounds once more.

"Who is it?" she calls out.

"It's me"

Recognizing his voice, Sasha opens the door for Jean and, surprisingly, Hanji. Sasha salutes.

"Sasha Blouse reporting back for duty, commander"

Hanji salutes her back.

"Welcome back" she and Jean come inside, Sasha making way for them, and Hanji's there to hug her as soon as the door's closed. Sasha leans in to the embrace without hesitation; she really needed this.

"To think it was true… I honestly feared that Jean had finally lost it due to all the stress and had imagined you being back!" Hanji says as she lets go. Normally, Sasha would've teased Jean about something like this, but after seeing the letters, she didn't have it in her, knowing how much he'd worried. So, she just smiled at them both, tired but genuine.

"Sorry to make you worry"

Jean looks at her in surprise, exchanging a look with Hanji. Sasha frowns.

"What?"

"That wasn't exactly the kind of answer we would've expected from you" Hanji said, fixing her glasses "Shouldn't you be teasing Jean?"

Sasha pouts.

"Why is it that I'm always told to behave yet when I do, that's a problem too?" she whines "I'm tired. I promise to make Jean's life a living hell later if that's what you two want, but right now, I just want to get some rest and get things sorted out. And visit my family before returning to duty, if that's alright, commander."

"Of course; they should get to know as soon as possible. And you can hold off on the making Jean's life hell -part as well" Hanji says, making Sasha smile a little wider.

"Shouldn't you just forbid it entirely?" Jean asks, but gets ignored as Sasha asks the older woman: "Did you get captain Frank's letter?"

"Yes, I did. To be completely honest, I find it hard to believe that there's no ulterior motive, but since I can't find one, I think it's safe to wish for the best. But even so, I'm going to get Onyankopon's opinion on this, too. Just in case. Now, to the other matter at hand" Hanji shifts her focus behind Sasha, and it's then that she remembers Herbert being there, too.

Looking behind her, she sees him still sitting on the bed, looking rather tense. Sasha smiles at him reassuringly.

"Herbert Weber, correct?"

"Yes ma'am" he says, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was now, making Sasha wonder if Hanji really came across as that intimidating for those who didn't know her, or if Herbert had reacted the same way to any figure of authority.

"Jean here has made me aware of your situation. We will arrange you all the necessary documents that you need to be able to live in our society with time, but right now, it's important to get you out of this harbor and out of the Marleyan army's sight as fast as possible. That's why we've decided you'll head to Dauper village together with Sasha and Emil first thing tomorrow morning." Hanji tells, pushing up her glasses "I know this all comes fast and you must be tired from your journey, but this is for the safety of all of us."

"See? Everything's turning out just fine" Sasha says, able to see Herbert's surprise at receiving the help he needed. He's at a loss of words, but eventually, finds his voice: "Thank you. I… I don't have any way to repay you, but- "

"Don't worry about it" Hanji waves it off "We're doing this because we've seen how things are for Eldians in Marley. If you want to pay Eldia back for helping you, keep your eyes open and help those who you can in turn."

"Though if you really want to help us specifically, you can do so by keeping an eye on this clutch of ours so she'd do better in staying out of trouble" Jean says, knocking his knuckles against Sasha's temple a few times, much to her annoyance. She rubs the offended spot on her head, glaring at her friend.

"Jean does have a point there" Hanji says, and Sasha's head whips around to face her in shock.

"Even you, commander!?"

The other three, even Herbert, Sasha notices, laugh at her expense. Not long after, Hanji takes her leave, closing the door behind her as the other three remain behind, Jean having to deal with two people for a sleepover.

"Please tell me you no longer snore" he says, but Sasha just shrugs. Jean answers that by tossing a pillow at her face, but she catches it right before it hits the target "You're sleeping as far away from the bed as you can."

Sasha sticks her tongue at him, but still obeys as she settles down in front of the door, using Jean's civilian jacket as a blanket. The actual cover is used by Herbert, as is Jean's other pillow, despite the man insisting he didn't need either, but Jean had none of it and, eventually, the man gave in and settled down next to the bed. Jean himself is on the bed, using his military jacket as a pillow.

Hearing Jean's breathing relax, Sasha can tell he's the first to fall asleep. She tries to keep her ears trained on Herbert's breathing, but sleep takes her over before she can be sure he's asleep as well.

XXXXX

In the morning after the gathering, Nikolo slept in, exhausted yet relieved. He had talked briefly with Dr. Becker again after coming back to the party, and while the man didn't believe Ulrich's excuse of Nikolo being overwhelmed by bad memories, other people clearly did, and for the doctor, that was clearly enough; even if it wasn't in the way he originally intended, Nikolo had reinforced the idea of the island being a very bad place.

Nikolo groans, turning in his bed after a nightmare about Mikasa slicing his throat in the gathering of the evening before startles him awake. He wasn't terrified of the woman, just healthily cautious and he knew she wouldn't go that far just because someone ran their mouth, so why was his subconsciousness coming up with that kind of stuff?

"Well, it's not like that was the worst of my nightmares…" he mutters as he gets up to dress, quickly shaking the thoughts of his earlier dreams out of his head.

By the time Nikolo gets to breakfast, his family has already eaten. He prefers it that way, not wanting to talk about the night before. He's surprised his mother hadn't asked anything yet, but Ulrich had probably kept her off his case. Or maybe it was his father, thinking that his wife's insistence would make Nikolo worse. Either way, he was glad.

Afterwards, Nikolo left the house to go for a run. The main purpose was to stay in shape, but it did give him an excuse to leave the house frequently, and as usual, he was grateful for it today, too. Running through his neighborhood at a slow pace for warm up, Nikolo finds himself wondering what Sasha was doing at the moment. If she got to the island as promised, she should've reached land by now and most likely reunited with her friends at the harbor. Perhaps with Emil too, with him being a soldier and all. Sasha had said he was doing well.

Nikolo remembers how Sasha was said to have reacted when, at the age of 13, Emil had decided he wanted to join the military. According to Connie, she hadn't tried to stop her brother, but she'd spent hours giving him tips and warnings about the use of ODM gear and anything else related to training. At the time, he'd wondered what he would've done if one of his younger siblings had decided to follow in footsteps. He would've felt worried too, yes, but would he have gone to such lengths as Sasha in trying to make them prepared for anything? He didn't believe so, even though he was related by blood to them, unlike Sasha was to hers.

"But that's meaningless in the end, isn't it? Her family is the kind to take in strangers, while mine is the kind to kick out one of their own for choices they can't accept" he grits his teeth, his thoughts wandering off to his younger sister Natalie. She and her family were doing fine, he visited them every week at the moment, and while Natalie was happy with her life, he could tell she missed everyone. Ulrich visited her in secret every few months and even brought his wife over once, she'd revealed, but aside from that, she hadn't seen anyone from the family in a few years. It angered Nikolo, but with all his family had done for him, even though not all of it had been helpful, he couldn't make himself to give a piece of his mind for it to them. Maybe he would someday, once he found the right words, but for now, it was not within his plans.

Arriving at his usual jogging path in the woods, the scenery brings the memories of the company he used to have in the place to the surface, and he wonders how Herbert was doing. Had he made contact with the scouts? Did they believe him? What if he had been found before reaching the island? The thought makes the memory of the gunshot and Helmut's body fill Nikolo's mind, and he quickly shakes his head. There was no point in thinking about that.

Quickening his pace, Nikolo decides to run as fast as he can for as long as he can. When was the last time he had done that for no reason? He can't remember, but doing so now helps him clear his head, pushing away the unpleasant thoughts as he speeds past the trees and occasional fellow runner, who dodge out of the way, letting him run directly ahead along the path he's following.

When Nikolo finally stops, he falls to his knees and realizes he'd overdone it, but he didn't mind. Once in a while didn't hurt, though now he wished he'd remembered to take along a water bottle. He usually did, but of course, it had to be today that it slipped from his mind.

Once he'd rested enough, Nikolo decides to head home, going along the forest path in a lazy jog and switching to walking once reaching the end of it. He buys some juice from the first store he walks past; he'd remembered to take his wallet along at the very least, and takes his time getting home.

Once he does, he wishes he'd taken even longer, for Ulrich is there waiting for him when he opens the front door.

"Whatever it is that you have to say, can't it wait until after lunch?" Nikolo asks, knowing it to be most likely futile but deciding to try since he was hungry. Maybe Ulrich could just nag at him while he ate?

"I could wait, but this isn't about me. Let's not keep your guests waiting longer than they already have" Ulrich answers, much to Nikolo's surprise. He knows his guest isn't Dr. Becker, Ulrich would be warning him if it was, but he can't think of anyone else visiting him… unless, could it be Grior?

"They're waiting in the garden; Adele's showing them around"

Right, it was plural, Nikolo thinks, wondering if Grior had his brother with him. But that didn't make any sense, nor did Ulrich making his wife entertain them while he waited for his brother to come back. It had to be someone else.

Nikolo goes where his brother told him to, and behind the house, admiring the rose bushes he knew his sister-in-law to love, was the said woman in the company of two others, ones he'd seen the night before: Mikasa and Kiyomi Azumabito.

Had Mikasa been alone, Nikolo would've wondered how she found him, but since she was with Kiyomi, he only wondered how much she'd had to tell the older woman to get her to bring her here.

Soldier as she is, Mikasa is the first to notice their approach, and turns her piercing gaze from the roses to Nikolo. The two other women notice him as well, and after he has exchanged quick greetings with them, Adele leads the older woman away by suggesting she comes to see the violets on the other side of the house. It's a pre-prepared excuse to leave the other two alone, and they all know it, but none bring it up.

After the two are surely out of earshot, Nikolo gets straight to the point: "Why did you come here?"

"I just wanted to confirm a few things" Mikasa says "I know Sasha loves you, and that you love her back. But how much?"

"…Excuse me?"

"If you had to choose between being with her, on the island, and never see your family again and being here, with your family, never seeing her again, which would you choose?"

Nikolo didn't need to think of it much; he'd already gone over these options in his mind long ago and made his decisions.

"If I really was in a situation where I could choose Sasha, I would. My family would be fine without me… and so would Sasha; I'm sure you, Jean and everyone else would make sure of that, but… but for simply my own sake, I would go and be with her." Nikolo says, sighing. Seeing the bright red roses from the corner of his eye, he briefly wonders if Sasha would've liked to see his family's garden. She probably wouldn't have refused if she had the chance, but Nikolo knew she would've had much more interest in their kitchen "If I'd known returning would be impossible… well, I would've still wanted to see, or at least know, that my family was alright, and tell them I was okay, too. Maybe I could've sent them a word through Grior, or maybe I could've snuck in to Marley in secret like you guys did in the past, seen my family, and then returned to the island before they could stop me. But it's too late for what ifs."

"I'm not asking you to look back at your choices, I'm asking you to choose" Mikasa says, fixing her ever-present scarf "If you could, would you leave? Or would you stay?"

"I would leave" Nikolo says without hesitation. But he didn't understand why Mikasa would ask.

"Then do so. If Sasha's already back home, all we need to do is take you to her. I'll get you out of Marley."

Nikolo's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"How would you pull that off? Every ship going there is under tight military watch- "

"But not the ships going to Hizuru" Mikasa cuts him off "And Kiyomi has already agreed to help. You'll come to Hizuru in broad daylight, but once there, you either die or disappear in an accident. Or perhaps that already happens on the voyage, who knows. I hear the sea can be merciless."

For a moment, Nikolo was speechless. He didn't bother to wonder why Mikasa would suggest this; it was obviously for Sasha. Instead, he wondered how she managed to come up with something like this overnight.

"I'm doing this for Sasha" Mikasa says suddenly, misunderstanding his silence "Or actually, Armin and I are; I'm simply putting his plan in action in his behalf, if you'll agree to it."

"Armin's…?" Nikolo does some counting in his head before remembering that Sasha too had confirmed the man's death, which meant this plan had to have been in the making for quite a while now "What exactly did he plan?"

"A way to sneak you out of Marley in case you didn't manage to come back on your own. For some reason, he believed until the end that you'd keep trying to come back."

From the way she said it, it became clear to Nikolo she had doubted it. He didn't find it in himself to be mad at Mikasa; they were never close, so it wasn't like she really knew him. But he had never considered himself to be that close to Armin, either, and the guy was more of a hopeful realist than a blind optimist, so it couldn't be about him just being naïve.

"I think that Armin just wanted to have hope until the very end. Maybe to him, you warming up to Sasha and eventually others on our island was a sign that the world could change, no matter how slowly it would happen."

Nikolo wasn't sure how to feel about Mikasa's words. She was probably right, she'd known Armin since childhood after all, but he would've preferred Armin to have faith in him as an individual person, not some symbol of his hope. But even so, he couldn't bring himself to blame the guy.

"Did Armin also come up with how to persuade the Azumabito clan to help?"

Nikolo was pretty sure he did; Mikasa was the type of person who'd try to do things on her own, wasn't she?

"He did" Mikasa said, and as she didn't continue, it became clear to Nikolo she wasn't about to disclose the information.

"Well, it's not like I need to know" maybe it was even better if he didn't; he was aware that sometimes Armin's plans tended to be on the darker side. Probably not the case this time, but he wouldn't risk it.

"Will you go along with it?"

Unable to help himself, Nikolo looks at the house he'd grown up in, the place he now resided in with his family. He was going to miss it and the things it stood for, but it wouldn't make his decision waver. They said that home was where the heart was, and his heart was with Sasha, wherever she was. Looking back at Mikasa, he vocalizes his decision.

"Yes."

A.N: Did you guys think I'd end this just like that? No no; Mikasa still has some tricks up her kimono sleeves to help our OTP. But will she manage to pull it off? Who knows!