"Morning, DeSoto." The voice of the B shift captain drew Roy's attention from the shift log he was making notes in.

"Morning, Hendricks." Roy answered, finishing off the last of his coffee.

"Heard you boys caught a wild one last night." Hendricks commented.

Roy leaned back in his chair. "Sure did. Still haven't figured out how that woman drove her car into the second story of that house."

"Crazy." Hendricks shook his head. "You know that Hayes is out next week. If Gage or Collins want some OT, let me know."

Roy couldn't imagine that Adam would want to take on any overtime right now, and he damn sure wasn't going to even mention it to Johnny, not the way he was hurting. "I'll bring it up, but you might want to mention it to Barnes when you see him."

"Will do." Hendricks replied.

The two men discussed more general topics before going their separate ways, and Roy changed out of uniform before heading out to the parking lot. He spotted Johnny and Adam chatting briefly before Adam climbed into his car and drove off, and soon Johnny was ambling toward the Rover.

No, he wasn't ambling. He wasn't quite limping, either, but he was definitely favoring his right side. It had been more noticeable as the shift had worn on, and when they had returned from that last call around three this morning, Johnny had all but collapsed into his bunk with barely a word.

Roy wasn't going to lecture him, not while they were off the clock, but it was concerning.

He caught up with Johnny just before the other man got to his Rover. "Looking a little rough there, pally." Roy commented.

His words stopped Johnny in his tracks, and he sighed heavily before easing himself down on the bumper of the Rover. Roy soon joined him, and they sat in silence for a long moment before Roy finally broke it. "Look, I'm not going to lecture you. I'm not your captain right now. But don't think I haven't noticed how bad you're hurting."

Johnny glanced down, playing with his wedding ring. "I don't want to quit this, Roy."

"I know you don't." Roy responded. "But your body might have other ideas."

Johnny shook his head and pushed himself off the bumper. "I'll figure it out. See you in a couple days."

Roy rose as well, leaving Johnny with a nod. "Try to rest up, will you?"

Johnny let out a short laugh at that. "You know that's not gonna happen."

"Well, it was worth a shot." Roy answered. "Take care, now."

Johnny left him with a wave and opened the door to the Rover, seeming to gather himself before all but heaving himself inside. He started it up, sliding a pair of aviators on his face before backing out of his spot and heading out of the parking lot with his music blaring.

Roy sighed and got into his own car for the drive home. It was no surprise, he supposed, that Johnny wasn't willing to talk much about his current condition. Likely he and Adam had already had that conversation earlier.

He had to admit he was a little jealous of Johnny's and Adam's close friendship. They weren't just partners, no more than he and Johnny had been just partners. No, they were partners, close friends, damn near family, and that had been evident way back when Roy had first become captain of this station. Johnny and Adam had their inside jokes, their own ways, and there were times when Roy very much felt like an outsider.

But that was normal, wasn't it? He wasn't supposed to be so involved in his crew's lives. Sure, he knew certain things. Sam was worried about getting through paramedic training, despite passing all her classes so far with flying colors. Chet had been rehearsing how he was going to propose to Sam, and that was before he bought the ring he was carrying around with him. He knew about every single one of Katie's milestones, all the joy and pain that came with them for Johnny. He frequently commiserated with Mike on the pain that came with raising teenage children.

And then there was Adam. He was a tougher nut to crack, always had been. But now Roy knew what had him so distracted all this time.

Of course, Roy had been well aware of the epidemic, but he had mostly thought of it as something that was happening to other people. Even as Adam had taken more time off than usual, for reasons he wasn't terribly forthcoming about, Roy hadn't thought that much about it.

Now it was hitting home on multiple fronts, and Roy had little idea how to handle it.

The kids would already be gone by the time Roy got home, he knew that. Good thing, too. He wanted to talk to Joanne about this before he talked to Chris, just so that they were on the same page.

He was still trying to figure out exactly how to bring up the whole situation when he pulled in and shut off the car, making his way into the house. Joanne was sitting at the kitchen table with the checkbook and a small pile of bills, writing in her notebook with a cup of coffee nearby. She greeted him with a warm smile. "Morning. Do you have your deposit slip?"

Damn it. Roy knew he had forgotten to do something. He'd been so distracted with his own thoughts that he had forgotten to stop by the bank to deposit his paycheck. "I forgot. I can go later."

"You can leave it with me." Joanne answered. "I need to do the grocery shopping anyway."

Roy pulled out his wallet and took out his paycheck, tearing off the stub and taking the pen that Joanne held out, signing the back and handing both items to her. "What would I do without you?"

"Oh, you'd manage." Joanne laughed. "You must have had a rough shift if you forgot it was payday."

Roy crossed over to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup. "Well, had a woman who drove her car into a house. Ended up on the second story."

"What?" Joanne looked baffled. "How?"

"No idea." Roy replied as he leaned against the counter. "But apparently she thought Johnny was her husband."

"Oh my." Joanne laughed.

"Yeah, poor Johnny caught heat for that the rest of the shift." Roy told her. He knew he was putting off talking about Chris. He just had no idea how to start.

Finally, he crossed over to the kitchen table, taking the note out of his pocket and setting it on the table before sitting down.

"What's that?" Joanne asked.

"Found it on the table after the kids went to school yesterday." Roy replied.

"Oh, Roy, you didn't read it, did you?" Joanne scolded him. "You know how girls can be about their crushes."

"It's not Jenny's."

Joanne's expression barely changed. "Okay, so Chris, then. Regardless, they're entitled to their privacy."

Roy sighed. First Adam, and now Joanne. He knew he shouldn't have opened that note, but it was too late for that now. "I didn't realize it was a note at first. Kind of opened it without thinking."

Joanne picked up the note, giving Roy a reproachful look, even as she opened it and started reading. As she read on, her expression changed to one of apparent confusion. "Who's Matthew?"

"No idea." Roy replied.

Joanne studied it again as if she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. "Roy—"

"I know." Roy cut her off. "I wasn't sure it was what I thought it was, either. Had to run it by Adam."

"Oh, Roy, why did you do that?" Joanne immediately replied, a note of exasperation in her voice. "You know what, maybe this is just some passing thing. Maybe we shouldn't say anything."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't." Roy responded. "Doesn't feel right to not say anything."

"If he doesn't want to tell us, maybe there's a good reason."

"And maybe that reason is that he's scared to tell us."

Joanne folded the note, the concern in her expression obvious. "Maybe you're right. Who could blame him, especially these days?"

"That's why we've got to talk to him, let him know we're in his corner." Roy asserted. "That no matter what, he's our son and we still love him."

"Is that what Adam told you to say?"

"In a matter of speaking." Roy replied quietly. "We are on the same page about this, right?"

Joanne looked down at the note in her hands, her expression troubled. Finally, she nodded. "Yes, we're on the same page. He's still our boy, no matter what."

Roy let out a sigh of relief, reaching for Joanne's hands and covering them with his own. "He's going to be okay. Maybe our family's going to look a little different than we thought it would, but it's okay."

Joanne managed a slight smile. "I hope so. But I'm going to worry about him."

"So am I." Roy told her. "I don't expect that to change."

"Maybe you should talk to him first." Joanne suggested. "It might be too much if we're both there."

"I'll find a good time." Roy assured her with a confidence he wasn't entirely sure he felt.

He just hoped he wouldn't screw this up too badly.

# # #

Adam paused, waiting for Johnny to catch up to him before they headed out to the parking lot. "You're going to rest that thing while you're off, right?"

Johnny huffed. "If I can. You going to check in on Isaac?"

"Yeah." Adam nodded. "He was doing okay when I checked in yesterday, but you know. Things change."

Johnny frowned in concern, even as he nodded. "You tell him we're pulling for him. And if you need anything, anything at all, call."

"I will."

"No, you won't." Johnny scoffed. "But the offer still stands."

Adam couldn't help smiling at that, clapping Johnny on the shoulder. "Go home. I'll see you in a couple days."

Johnny finally headed toward the Rover, and Adam watched for a moment as Cap caught up to him and the two men sat down on the bumper of the vehicle.

Adam started up his own car, finding a pair of sunglasses and putting them on before putting down the top of the convertible and heading out of the parking lot. First, a short visit with Isaac, then to APLA to see what he could do to secure some help at home. He was skeptical that they'd be able to do much, despite Joseph's assurances, but it was worth a shot anyway.

He pulled into the parking lot at Rampart and crossed to the entrance, pushing the elevator button and stepping on when the doors opened.

"Hold it!" Someone called out.

Adam held the doors as the man got on, and he immediately recognized him. "Carlos?"

"Adam, hello." Carlos managed a smile as he pushed one of the buttons. "You are not working, correct?"

"Correct." Adam replied, reaching across to hit another button. "Checking in on Isaac. I had to drag his sorry ass in here night before last. You know how stubborn he is."

"Nearly as stubborn as you." Carlos commented with a short laugh.

"Oh, you're so funny." Adam scoffed. "What about you? What are you doing here?"

Carlos' expression immediately sobered. "It's Mario. He is in ICU."

"Damn." Adam responded quietly. "I'm sorry, Carlos."

Carlos shrugged. "It is almost becoming a second home. But Mario, he seems to have nine lives. It is at times a miracle he is still here."

Adam nodded in understanding. For all of Isaac's close calls over the last couple of months, he always managed to come back. "You know, I could come sit with you for a while after I check in on Isaac. If you want, that is."

"That is very kind of you." Carlos answered. "But I am sure you would like to be anywhere but here."

"Obviously." Adam replied. "But if you want some company, I don't mind sticking around."

"You see what I mean?" Carlos chided him as the doors opened. "Stubborn."

"I'll see you in a while." Adam called out as the doors closed.

On the next floor, the doors opened again, and Adam stepped out into the corridor, finding his way to Isaac's room and tapping on the open door.

Isaac slowly opened his eyes, greeting Adam with a slight smile. Even in his weakened state, that smile made Adam's heart flip. "Hey, you."

"Hey, yourself." Adam approached the bed and gently kissed Isaac's forehead. "You look better."

"Looks are deceiving." Isaac replied quietly. "How was your shift?"

Adam was somewhat grateful for the small talk. "Some old lady managed to crash her car into the second story of a house."

Isaac laughed dryly. "She did what, now?"

"Exactly what I said." Adam told him. "Told me I looked just like her son that's serving in Vietnam. And she thought Johnny was her husband, just a younger version, apparently."

"Bet Johnny loved that."

"Oh, you know him." Adam answered casually. "Not much gets to him. Takes it all in stride."

Isaac closed his eyes briefly and sighed. The sight made Adam's heart ache. Isaac had always been so strong, so tough, and to see him in his current state hurt deeply. Just in the last couple of months, Isaac had lost so much weight that he was a mere shadow of his former self. Every illness took a little more out of him, and Adam knew there would come a time when he wouldn't recover.

But today was not that day. At least, that's what Adam tried to tell himself.

"I saw Carlos on my way up here." Adam told Isaac. "Mario's in ICU again."

"Aw, damn." Isaac murmured.

"Yeah." Adam replied, taking Isaac's hand. "I offered to come down and sit with him a while."

"You should." Isaac answered. "Nothing for you to do here, anyway."

"Except be with you."

Isaac squeezed Adam's hand weakly. "I'll be out in a couple days. Go. He needs you."

"Are you sure?"

Isaac managed a nod. "What are you going to do, sit here and watch me sleep? Go on, get out of here."

"Fine." Adam huffed, releasing Isaac's hand and rising from his chair. "But I'll be back."

"That a threat or a promise?"

"Both." Adam responded as he kissed Isaac's forehead once more. "A threat I promise to follow through on. Now, behave yourself."

Isaac didn't respond, but Adam spotted the hint of a smile on his face as he left the room, heading back toward the elevator and pushing a button.

He stepped on, hitting the button that sent him down to the ICU floor. The doors opened and he stepped off, finding a coffee machine in one corner of the waiting room.

Adam had been in this space more than a few times. Once for Johnny, and several times now for Isaac. The waiting never got any easier, and being surrounded by others waiting for word on their loved ones filled Adam with a sense of dread.

He purchased two cups of coffee and soon found Carlos seated near a window, his head bowed, his fingers threaded together as if in prayer. Adam was loathe to interrupt, and so waited until Carlos lifted his head.

"Hi." Adam spoke, holding out the cup. "Thought you might need a little something. It's shit, but it's something."

"Thank you." Carlos accepted the cup and took a sip, making a face. "You are right. It is shit."

Adam took the seat next to Carlos. "Sorry. You've got to go to emergency for the good stuff."

"It is all right." Carlos shrugged. "How is Isaac?"

"Holding his own for now." Adam replied. "He might be out in a couple days, depending on how things go."

Carlos nodded. "You are caring for him at home?"

"For now." Adam told him. "But it's already getting to a point where I can't leave him for a whole shift by himself. I've got to figure out something else. It's either that or quit my job, and I can't do that. Things are already tight without him working."

"Indeed." Carlos replied. "I have been staying with Mario these last few months. He can not be left alone, not anymore. If I hadn't been there last night…"

Adam understood all too well. "It's a good thing you were."

Carlos smiled a little, letting out a short, bitter laugh. "He was angry with me. Complained that he couldn't get rid of me. We used to fight so much, do you remember?"

"Oh yeah, I remember."

Carlos swallowed the rest of his coffee in one go, but held the cup in his hands, playing with it. "I have never stopped loving him, not for a moment. Even when he made it hard."

Adam knew the best thing he could do right now was simply let Carlos talk, and so he did, and before he knew it, most of the morning had passed. There was still no word about Mario, and Adam was reluctant to leave him. "Are you sure you'll be okay here?"

"Yes, now go." Carlos told him firmly. "I am sure you have other obligations."

Adam rose from his chair, squeezing Carlos' shoulder. "If you need anything, call me. I have the next couple of days off."

Carlos rose to meet Adam, enveloping him in a tight hug. "I will. And you do the same, okay? We will get together soon, all of us."

Adam appreciated Carlos' optimism, but he thought it was very likely the next time any of them got together would be for someone's funeral. He kept that thought to himself, merely returning the hug, patting Carlos lightly between the shoulder blades before letting him go.

He left Carlos and made his way through the hospital and back out to the parking lot, heading to the center, where he had intended to go before he'd gotten sidetracked sitting with Carlos.

It was a modest building, one that could easily be mistaken for any office building. Adam wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. When he stepped inside, the place was bustling with activity. There was some sort of meeting happening in one corner, and people waiting to make use of the clinic.

"How can I help you?" A young woman greeted him.

"Um…I'm looking into some resources." Adam started. "I'm taking care of my…companion and need a little extra help. You see, I'm a firefighter and paramedic, and I work these twenty-four hours shifts. I can't leave him by himself, not for that long."

"Of course." The young woman nodded, flipping open an appointment book and running her finger down the page. "It looks like one of our social workers has some availability tomorrow. How does three o'clock sound?"

"That'll be just fine." Adam replied, noticing the brochures in a holder on the desk for various support groups. "What's this PFLAG group about?"

"That's Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays." She explained. "It's an excellent support group. If you know someone who needs it, take a brochure."

Adam nodded and picked one up, folding it and tucking it in his pocket. It might be just the thing for Roy. He'd be sure to pass it on to him next shift.

"There's other support groups, too." The young woman continued. "We have several that are just for caregivers."

Adam debated with himself for a moment before taking one of those brochures as well. It couldn't hurt to drop in, he supposed. Things weren't going to get any easier, certainly, and being able to talk about it with others going through the same thing couldn't hurt.

"Thank you." He nodded to the young woman before leaving the center and crossing the parking lot to his car.

It wasn't long before he finally arrived home, trotting up the steps to the apartment and unlocking the door to let himself in. The quiet was unsettling. Any other time, Isaac would either be here already, humming or singing along to one of his hundreds of albums, or he would be at work, and Adam would know to expect him home later in the afternoon.

How quickly everything had changed. This was their new reality now, and Adam had no choice but to accept it and do his best to care for Isaac. But that didn't mean he wasn't mourning what was and would never be again.

It was only here, in the silence of the empty apartment, that Adam allowed himself to let out everything he'd been holding back for so long. This hurt like hell, knowing Isaac would be yet another casualty of this stupid damn virus. He could only rail at the unfairness of it all.

Eventually the emotional storm passed, and Adam was able to pull himself together again. When Isaac did come home, Adam decided, he was going to make the most of whatever time they had left together. Adam owed him at least that much.