~ Chapter Forty-Nine - Midnight Watch - 10.764 words ~
[Sanubia Valley, Greater Obel Lake Area, Monday, 3rd of November, 11:50 pm]
Squall startled awake when his alarm sounded out after far too little sleep. Silencing the small, analog timer Raijin had handed him, he pushed aside Seifer's heavy arm that was draped across him and sat upright with a tired rub at his temples. Fatigue still weighed down his sore muscles, the three hours of sleep he'd gotten not nearly enough to recover from the day's hardships. The descent down the steep mountain range and into the valley had taken all day, their progress hampered by noxious fumes and smoke, as well as the very ground shifting beneath their feet with every step. The soil had eroded dangerously after the fires and rain storm, all signs of old, reliable mountain trails wiped out by the fires. They'd had to carve their own way and backtrack several times, moving at a snail's pace. It had been infuriating.
And now he had to take second watch. He greatly preferred the uninterrupted sleep that came with taking first or last watch, but then again, so did everyone else. The light of their campfire shone through the canvas of their tent, offering just enough illumination to study Seifer's disgruntled face as the man tried to reel him back in while barely awake. When his half-assed attempts were easily foiled by leaning out of the man's grasp, Seifer took the second best route and rolled around to face away from the light with a laborious groan and several unintelligible mutters.
Wishing he could join Seifer and dive right back into their warm cocoon, he forced himself to pull on his clothes and boots. He'd slept poorly, the anticipation for the coming fight pulling him into a state of heightened awareness and ruining any chance at restfulness. Seifer of course had no such problems. The bastard had been snoring away happily within seconds after they'd ended their quick and hopefully unnoticed romp.
He hadn't even really tried all that hard to refuse Seifer's advances earlier, allowing the man's hands to sneak into his underwear despite the distant sound of Fujin's footfalls drawing a wide circle outside their camp. Only the threat of the immediate cessation of all fun had made Seifer grudgingly respect his demand to keep things quiet as they'd stroked each other to completion. It was as much as he'd dared to trust himself with, well aware by now how quickly Seifer could make him throw caution to the wind. But unfortunately the quick hand job hadn't brought the same blissful exhaustion that came with a satisfying fuck. If anything, it had further spiked the restless energy that coursed through his body. Perhaps taking watch and walking around camp would help him burn off some of his impatience.
As he got dressed, he sighed at the grey ash that stained their clothes, sleeping bags and everything else within view. He was used to a certain lack of cleanliness when out in nature, but this persistent filth got into absolutely everything, itching his nose and smudging every inch of skin. No amount of washing in the river had stopped the ash from dusting everything all over again within minutes of leaving the water. Even the water had been a murky grey color.
Mentally readying himself to face the gloom of the outside world, he stalled and studied Seifer's profile for another few seconds. The man's breath was puffing out visibly in the chill night air, a small frown knitting his brow. Placing a hand against Seifer's cheek and temple, he infused the brief touch with a gentle burst of fire magic that warmed Seifer's skin. The frown loosened and Seifer murmured a contented sound in his sleep, before burrowing deeper into their nest of sleeping bags.
He smoothed the smile off his face before he zipped open their tent, stepped out into the cold night and quickly zipped it back closed behind him. Ahead, he could see Fujin standing sentry at the edge of their small camp, looking out into the dead and blackened forest. She had definitely heard him, but didn't turn to look his way. As he grabbed Lion Heart and walked over, the air around them was eerily quiet, punctuated by the comparatively loud crunch of charred soil and branches beneath his boots. The light of their campfire barely pushed back against the darkness. Bare tree trunks stood tall and skeletal just beyond the light, casting unsettling shadows that danced and warped along with the fire.
All life had been expunged here. Every trace of green in this ancient forest had been devoured by the fire, the entire world cast in hues of black, grey, and white. The only sounds to pierce the oppressive silence were the snores coming from the two tents behind them, the distant roar of the river and the occasional ruffling of feathers from their sleeping chocobos. The birds had huddled together anxiously, close to the tents and fire.
When he came to a halt beside Fujin, the woman finally glanced his way for a moment and nodded curtly before looking back out into the bleak night.
"NOTHING. NO SOUNDS."
Squall hummed in confirmation and moved Lion Heart onto his shoulder. He followed Fujin's gaze out into the forest, ready to take over the night's watch. Fujin didn't move from her spot however, continuing her silent vigil without another glance sent his way. Not one to question people seeking solitude in their own thoughts, he moved away to start his first walk of the perimeter.
"SQUALL. WAIT."
Realizing the ambush too late, Squall frowned and molded his expression into a calm mask before turning back around to face her. This was the first time it was just the two of them, apparently by design. Fujin had been the one to decide tonight's roster. It could mean nothing good.
Fujin held his gaze, her face inscrutable. "US. TALK."
Squall steeled himself as he tried to read Fujin's demeanor, but the woman gave nothing away. Left no choice but to comply lest he incite her anger again, he walked back and pierced Lion Heart into the ashen ground before him, his hands resting on the blade's hilt. "Alright."
Watching Squall as he stood there before her, waiting for her to speak, Fujin tried to get her lips to form the words she'd been planning on speaking to the man all day. After an entire day of trying to get him on his own, Seifer unwittingly thwarting her every step of the way, she'd been forced to take a different approach. And now the moment was here.
She hadn't counted on the flash of an unwelcome memory at seeing Squall's gunblade sitting so nonchalantly between them, that pulsing blue glow somehow more menacing up close. She'd seen its edge stained with blood. Seifer's blood.
"FORGIVENESS. HARD," she began brusquely, careful to keep all emotion out of her voice.
Squall let go of the breath held tightly in his chest and readied himself for the conversation he'd expected since day one. He appreciated the bluntness at least. "I'm not asking for your forgiveness," he said soberly.
Good, Fujin thought to herself before curbing the uncharitable thought. She was only barely on the verge of seeing past all his mistakes. Painful, human mistakes. After everything she'd witnessed she could no longer ascribe malicious intent to Squall's actions during the war. She'd slowly come to terms with that truth during the past few days, but even so, real trust required time. The contradictions of her feelings were complicated, as were all the nuances she'd been made privy to. All the subtleties she was probably still kept in the dark of.
"FULL PICTURE. COMPLICATED," she offered. What truly mattered was the fact that Seifer was happier than ever. He had begun looking beyond his past and was using magic again without a shred of discomfort. For that she owed Squall much more than she'd ever wanted to. "YOU. ME. START OVER. CLEAN SLATE."
Squall couldn't fully hide his surprise as he met Fujin's unwavering gaze. Despite the improved atmosphere of the past few days, this was not the verdict he'd been expecting. Part of him had even suspected she'd simply been pretending for Seifer's sake.
"Okay," he said carefully, unsure what else to say in response. Any offer of a second chance, no matter what it entailed, was definitely more than he deserved.
When no statements followed Squall's brief reply, Fujin realized just how used she'd gotten to more words leaving Squall's mouth. As if a spell surrounded the man whenever he was in Seifer's presence. She'd witnessed long conversations between the two from a distance, probably more words than Squall was used to speaking in a month. Even with Raijin and her around, she'd heard more of Squall's voice than in all her years at Garden.
"PROMISE," she demanded, getting to the point she needed to get across. "NEVER BETRAY."
"Never again," Squall replied without missing a beat. He'd sworn the same thing to himself many times over ever since running into Seifer again.
"GOOD." Analyzing the pinched quality to Squall's brow and his firm tone of voice, Fujin didn't need to question Squall's words. She believed him. "SEIFER. DESERVES HAPPINESS."
Less inclined to promise he had what it took to make Seifer happy, Squall simply nodded. Seifer did deserve that and more. He could only try his best and hope it was enough.
Her red eye fixed solely on Squall, Fujin found she could no longer conjure any reasons to doubt Squall's sincerity. There were no excuses or signs of subterfuge, the man before her radiating a quiet honesty and determination. From everything she'd learned, she knew now that Squall would do his best to treat Seifer right. And if not, she'd hunt him down herself.
Which left the less palatable of the two subjects she'd been meaning to broach. It rankled her pride that she was the one who had to approach Squall and actually ask something of him, but ever since he'd made his offer, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about all the avenues that were suddenly open to her and Raijin again.
"OTHER MATTER," she started, deciding not to mince words on this topic either. "IDENTITY. PAPERWORK." Squall's face remained inoffensively blank, the man refusing to read between the lines and forcing her to state her request blatantly. She tried not to scowl. "OFFER STAND?"
"Both my offers stand," Squall replied, relaxing despite the abrupt change in topic and the woman's blunt and persistent lack of friendliness. It was strangely freeing, excusing his own social ineptitude and letting them get right to the core of their business without empty pleasantries. "I can ask Quistis to reach out to you to make the necessary arrangements."
An instant distaste at reconnecting with anyone from Garden coursed through Fujin. It would take time to work through the deeply ingrained dislike, but she would do whatever it took for Raijin and her to regain their identities on paper and be legally wed. "ACCEPTABLE."
At Squall's nod, the first hurdle cleared, Fujin steeled herself for her biggest ask yet. This entire trip had wetted her appetite for something more than the near perpetual state of boredom that had taken over her days in Dollet. The fight with the Glacial Eyes had been a potent reminder of just how thrilling it was to have adrenaline flowing through her veins. How alive it made her feel. She was born for a life on the edge. For the fight.
The contrast with her civilian day-to-day life couldn't be more stark. Not enough mercenary jobs, too much idleness. She'd kept her body strong with a relentless training regime, even if the point of doing so had eluded her at times. All day her thoughts had wandered off, imagining what it would be like to work for Garden again. To be called out for missions, with intel gathered and ready to act on. Access to spells, potions and top of the line gear. Training grounds and state of the art facilities. She missed it more than she'd ever realized.
She hadn't mentioned her wavering resolve yet to Raijin, but she knew he'd support whatever choice she'd make. That, and he'd very unsubtly kept pointing out the advantages of finally running a mission SeeD style again after years of roughing it. As if she didn't know exactly what he was up to. But if any of this was to actually happen, she needed to make her wishes and expectations crystal clear. She was not about to give up the life they'd built for themselves in Dollet, nor would she return to Garden full time.
"MORE," she stated bluntly, phrasing her hopes as demands. "RAI. ME. SEED STATUS. REINSTATED." Keeping her voice entirely flat, she plowed on without pause. "BASE OF OPERATIONS. DOLLET. INDEPENDENT MISSIONS. TRIAL PERIOD. BOTH WAYS."
Squall raised an eyebrow at the list of requirements, not having expected Fujin to express any actual interest in reenlisting. Only senior SeeDs were allowed to live off base and there were severe limitations on what type of missions were given to independent contractors. Quistis would not appreciate him overruling the standards she'd drawn up. "Quistis usually negotiates all contracts," he said as diplomatically as he could manage. "But I'll give her my recommendations."
"WHICH ARE?"
"Custom contracts are unusual, but we can use operatives with your particular expertise." Meeting Fujin's gaze, Squall steeled himself before adding, "And we owe you restitution."
Fujin narrowed her one eye. She greatly disliked the thought of any special treatment and shook her head firmly. "NO FAVORS. TRIAL. ASCERTAIN MERIT." That was the whole point of having a trial period in the first place. She wanted Raijin and herself to prove their worth, to make Garden understand exactly what they could gain from hiring them. That, and they needed to ease into any ties with Garden. "REESTABLISH RESPECT. GARDEN. WARY."
"Garden didn't force me to make the choices I did," Squall pointed out evenly when he realized he was the reason for Fujin's distrust of Garden. "It's a good place these days. We take care of our own."
Fujin could only respect Squall's continued recognition of his own choices and culpability. That was the only way for a person who had even a shred of honor to conduct themselves. Even so, there was no way Fujin could just take his word for it. She needed to see for herself just how much Garden had changed. They certainly hadn't shown any remorse for letting a student stumble straight into the claws of a malicious sorceress.
"VERIFY. FIRST HAND."
Squall nodded his understanding. "I'll need your phone number."
"AGREED."
Having as many reassurances as she was likely to get from a verbal agreement, Fujin strode off to her tent without another word. With a swish she unzipped the tent, quietly slipped inside without waking Raijin and grabbed a pen and paper from her duffel bag. Penning her number down roughly, she returned and handed Squall the torn off piece of paper.
No words spilled from the reluctant man as he pocketed her note. Only time would tell how their bargain would survive Garden's meddling. She would not sell herself out without assurances and a gradual rebuilding of trust, no matter how starved she was for proper mercenary work. Satisfied that they'd covered everything she'd set out to talk to him about, she sent the man a curt nod. "NIGHT."
Squall watched as Fujin disappeared into her tent with a sense of bafflement he hadn't felt for a long time in a social context. He was used to people trying to coax him into conversation and berating him when they failed to receive the answer or attitude they wanted. Or worse, people trying to befriend him. Fujin had chosen none of those approaches, simply laying down the law in no uncertain terms before marching off again. No fake platitudes. No promises neither of them would keep. Just a blunt clearing of the air before they moved on to more important matters.
It was a relief to learn her recent lack of animosity towards him was genuine. They didn't need to be friends, but he didn't want to cause Seifer any unnecessary distress by being at odds with his best friend either. The last thing he wanted was to force the man to choose. So a politely civil truce suited him perfectly.
At least if that polite and civil truce hadn't also entailed a lot of raucous mockery and lewd banter at his expense. Ever since Fujin had thawed out some, she hadn't held back the sharpness of her tongue in the slightest. These past few days he'd heard it all, her teasing targeting everything from the stick that was apparently permanently lodged up his ass to the horny looks he was allegedly sending Seifer's way. Seifer loved it of course, egging Fujin on every step of the way.
Starting into a leisurely perimeter walk around camp after junctioning, he sighed in resignation and told himself this was better than how things had started out at least. And he could admit that he was in part to blame for all the teasing, providing the DC with plenty of really hadn't been on his best behavior, beginning with his and Seifer's night of indulgence up in the mountains. By the time they'd finally returned to camp, Fujin and Raijin had already collected their own firewood, had cooked and eaten dinner and had been in the process of wrapping up their Triple Triad game for the night.
All day long Fujin and Raijin had poked fun at their walk of shame back into camp the previous night. Not that Seifer had felt very ashamed. The long trek down the mountain and toiling through the ash and mud hadn't dampened Seifer's libido any either. He'd suffered the DC's snorts and giggles for nearly an hour before finally realizing Seifer had left several ashen handprints right on his ass after they'd stolen a quick kiss out of view of the others. The hickey he'd left just below Seifer's jawline later that afternoon however had been entirely his own fault. Predictably, Seifer had refused to heal it and had sported it proudly throughout dinner like a badge of honor, much to his embarrassment.
He really shouldn't encourage Seifer like that, but his mind was going strange after days of being desensitized by the DC's unapologetic vulgarity. Though that excuse was starting to lose its luster somewhat. Perhaps it was the uncomplicated happiness of each moment that had dulled his judgment, as if he was caught in a dreamlike daze and his actions had no real consequence beyond their next kiss or touch.
Giving a small snort at himself, he closed his third loop around camp and looked up. A crescent moon hung high in the sky, peeking from behind dark clouds that had persisted ever since the storm two nights ago. Very little moonlight made its way down into the valley, casting an ominous gloom over the dead forest that surrounded him. Farther away from the campfire, he could only see the world in the muted tones of his junction enhanced vision. Another perfect night to bring out Diablos.
He came to a stop and focused his thoughts inward, rousing the grumpy GF from the deeper recesses of his mind. The demon answered readily and stepped out into the world from a dark, smoking chasm that ripped the air before him with a silent implosion. The pressing lack of sound popped his ears as always. No cracking booms or flashes accompanied Diablos' deadly entrance into the night.
"Same as last night," he ordered, meeting the demon's red eyed gaze.
"As you command," came the gravelly reply, the words alien in his ears but their meaning transmitted straight into his brain.
Leathery, black wings unfolded from Diablos' back, the GF lifting into the air with a few graceful beats of his wings before launching off and cleaving through the sky. Soon the demon disappeared from view, blending in seamlessly with the inky blackness of the night.
He scanned his surroundings in the stillness that followed Diablos' departure, but nothing stirred in the wake of his summon. There were no creatures left to startle in the burnt out forest, most animals having perished in the flames and all others having fled. There was no rustling of leaves, none of the usual sounds of nature that could muddle his hearing and hide the approach of something nefarious. It made his watch much easier, but it also made it much harder to maintain his focus throughout the extended boredom of the night.
Resuming his walk around the perimeter, he could feel the tug of Diablos at the back of his mind, traveling away from him on a northward path. The distance between them stretched the magic of the summon uncomfortably, but it was easy enough to maintain and required little conscious effort on his part. Diablos' intent focus echoed through him, accompanied with a distant sense of rushing wind and the stench of smoke. The vague impressions overlapped his own senses and jolted his brain awake in a way only an active summon could.
Never again would he take that heady feeling for granted. Slowly but surely he was getting back into peak form, his magic and summons answering to his call reliably. The headaches were a nuisance, but it was a price he'd gladly pay as long as he could still go into the field and bring all his skills to bear against his targets. He'd already promised Shiva to summon her for the fight to come, her skill set perfectly matched against a fire elemental.
There was a simple beauty to elementally based fights, the strategy deceivingly simple but the reality often vicious. Fire magic in particular was a brutal force to deal with, the injuries potentially harrowing if one wasn't careful. It was a good thing the DC was fully stocked on ice magic to gain an offensive edge, but he suspected his own stores of high level fire magic would be insufficient to fully boost everyone's fire resistances once split four ways. They'd have to approach things cleverly if they were to avoid serious injury. His lips split into a smile at the challenge to come.
He was still going over his spell junctions as he walked, optimizing and weighing the benefits and drawbacks of each strategy while accounting for losing a large amount of his spells to the DC, when he could feel the telltale strain of his summon lessening rapidly. Diablos was returning, quicker this time than last night. Moving farther from the tents in order not to wake anyone, he looked up to the sky and waited.
A cloud of ash was kicked up into the air when Diablos landed before him, dusting his clothes and filling his nostrils with every breath. Grimacing, Squall lowered the arm he'd raised to shield his face.
"Your findings?"
"The creature hasn't moved from its lair," Diablos replied in his guttural voice, his red eyes glowing ominously. "It slumbers still, submerged in its pool of lava. It remains mostly hidden from my sight."
Squall nodded, pleased at least their target hadn't moved even further away from them during their day of travel. Tomorrow they'd finally catch up to it. They still had precious little information to act on however. "Still no sense of its size?"
"The lava pool has seemingly expanded since yesterday. It currently spans at least eighty feet in diameter. Whether this matches the creature's size, I know not." Diablos tilted its head slightly, eyeing him critically. "Temperatures around its lair are dangerously high and still rising. Far higher than you fragile humans can bear."
"We'll lure it away if we can. Keep the river to our backs for an escape route."
"That is wise."
Used by now to the condescension that laced the demon's every word, Squall gave a brief nod in acknowledgement of the GF's efforts. "That's all for tonight."
Diablos gave a slight bow with its head as Squall dismissed him, the GF evaporating in wispy, dark shadows that carried away on the breeze, the two pinpricks of its red eyes the last to fade from view.
Reassured for now that their target was still miles away and dormant, he finished a final, uneventful circle around camp and walked back to the tents. Sitting himself down on one of the blackened logs they'd dragged to the campfire, he kept his gaze to the north, to where he knew the creature's lair to be, and pulled Shiva a little closer to the surface of his mind.
"Keep an eye with me."
A crystalline chime fluttered through his thoughts in acknowledgement and he could feel the ice goddess cast her awareness far and wide as she had many times before, well beyond the confines of their camp. While this place was bitterly cold and white with ash, she shared his dislike for their utterly dead surroundings that bore only a passing resemblance to the winter Shiva so dearly loved. Even a forest caught in the chill grasp of frost was still threaded throughout with subtle signs of life, waiting to burst forth in spring. Not this place however.
Throwing another branch onto the fire, Squall settled in for the remainder of his watch and tried to settle the unhappy growl of his empty stomach with a cup of hot tea poured from the kettle that still sat heated by the fire. Food was becoming an issue without any game to hunt or edible plants to forage out here, their dry provisions dwindling quickly and already rationed out. His traitorous thoughts immediately led him to the home-cooked meals Seifer had made for him in Esthar. Perhaps he'd ask Seifer to cook him that Balamb steak he'd been bragging about when they got back, at least if he could suffer Seifer's ego long enough to make the request.
No steaks out here though. Forcing his thoughts away from his less than sated stomach, he resumed his conjecture of the fight to come. Personally, Squall didn't mind the added danger that came with the unknown. It required him to think on his feet and make split-second decisions in the heat of the moment. That's where real skill came into play. The ability to adapt to any opponent or circumstance at a moment's notice. But as much as he knew and trusted himself in the field, his current mission party was untried as a team.
While he didn't doubt his compatibility with Seifer in the slightest, he wondered how they'd fight together as a party of four. Scattered as they'd been during the fight with the Glacial Eyes, they hadn't had any real practice together and he mostly remembered Fujin and Raijin's fighting style from the war. This time, he'd have to adjust himself to the established synergy of the DC and play to their strengths rather than selfishly drag Seifer and himself to the forefront. His compatibility with the DC or possible lack thereof remained to be seen.
One thing he did know for sure. With the foe they were about to face, they couldn't afford anything less than excellence. It had chased off a very strong and very dangerous nest of giant Glacial Eyes single handedly. It had managed to scare off and clear out every monster and animal larger than a rodent in the wider area, which was before it had burned the valley to a cinder altogether. The quicker they killed the fire elemental, the better.
Restless as it made him, he loved the anticipation before the fight, the promise of a challenge. And Hyne, he loved fighting alongside Seifer even more. He could hardly wait. His mind singled in on the familiar sound of soft snores coming from their shared tent behind him, causing a soft smile to grow on his lips.
A jolt of heady joy flipped his stomach for the umpteenth time, the occurrence a regular one ever since they'd voiced their feelings for one another. He didn't usually put much stock in mere words, but after a lifetime of tiptoeing around the myriad of emotions Seifer evoked in him, it felt good to finally have agreed on a name for what had always brimmed and lingered between them. Love.
It would be foolhardy to believe Seifer's interpretation of the word mirrored his own exactly. Most likely it didn't, every version of love as vastly different as the person who felt it. Despite that realization he had utter faith in Seifer. Unburdened by doubt, he'd let himself enjoy every second of this trip, every ill-advised moment of intimacy, every heart stopping moment of adrenaline and lust. It was a strange thing to feel more free than ever, free to be himself, all because he'd tied himself to someone.
Ill-suited to musings on the nature of love, he shook his head at himself and poured himself another cup of warming tea. Listening to the soft buzz of Seifer's nearby snores, he felt oddly at home even as he let his gaze sweep past their bleak and dead surroundings. The occasional ruffle of feathers or crackle of the fire were the only other sounds to disrupt the eerie silence of the forest, the moon overhead still mostly hidden behind a thick cover of clouds.
His lips turned up at the corners as he realized this was a perfect backdrop for one of Selphie's beloved ghost stories. It was easy to imagine her excitement, as well as the others' grimaces and complaints, as her tales became increasingly graphic and disturbing. Zell in particular was surprisingly susceptible to her silly jump scares, more so than was warranted for a hardened mercenary.
A sudden chill ran down his spine, the fond thoughts of his friends cut short by Shiva's sharp warning. Something approaching.
Moving to a stand, he plucked Lion Heart from the ground and followed Shiva's focus to the mountain range they'd left behind them. He heard it before he saw anything. The distant roar of engines, echoing through the valley from afar. He frowned, recognizing the sound as that of an airborne craft. It grew closer and louder fast. It was still the dead of night, which eliminated the most likely culprits, such as a patrol of the Galbadian fire brigade coming to assess the damage of the most recent woodland fire.
"The fuck is that racket?" he heard Seifer curse from inside their tent, grumbles from the other tent quickly joining Seifer's.
Spared from having to wake the others, he glanced behind him as one by one the disheveled DC members spilled from their tents with displeased glowers, all of them immediately going for their weapons.
"There's no confirmed threat," Squall called out before looking back to the south, walking out a bit further from the campfire. "They could just be flying over."
Seifer shivered as he hastily zipped up his jacket and moved to stand beside Squall, following the man's gaze. "Sounds too close to just be passing by," he pointed out with a frown. To his left Fujin and Raijin took up post as well. "Should we douse the fire?" he asked, the knee-jerk instinct kicking in from their days in hiding after the war.
"We're allowed to be here," Squall said evenly, his mind racing. "Maybe someone put out an official bounty."
"COMPETITION?" Fujin snarled angrily. "US. FIRST."
"I'd like to see them try, ya now?"
Seifer's frown deepened as he shared a knowing look with Squall. "Since when do two-bit bounty hunters have access to aircrafts?"
"…It's unlikely," Squall said with some hesitance. While the proprietary technology had been rapidly evolving ever since the Second Sorceress War, it was still far from widespread, let alone readily available to private interests.
"Fuck," Seifer cursed. His curses only grew when he could make out distant lights cutting through the air, making a beeline straight for their location. Amidst the burned out forest, there were no tree canopies left to provide any cover, their campfire easily spotted from above, especially in the dark.
"Looks like they wanna say hello, guys."
"Looks like," Seifer grumbled, not liking this shit at all.
They all stood in tense silence as they watched an aircraft come to a hovering stop above the river banks a small distance away, the closest place it could land safely, before it disappeared from view behind the skeletal remains of the forest. In the dark he'd only been able to make out its general shape and the lights. It had been a small craft.
"That's Estharian technology," Squall spoke beside him, his shoulders tense as silver eyes met his gaze. "They're either government or SeeD."
Seifer knew exactly what that meant and he didn't like it one bit. "They're here for you."
The frown that knitted Squall's brow only reaffirmed his suspicion. He looked back out into the darkness, in the direction the aircraft had landed. The sound of the engines no longer roared into the night, an eerie silence following in its wake. "Any idea what they want?"
Squall shook his head. This had never happened before, giving him nothing to go on. Only a handful of people knew he'd headed to Galbadia and none of them would've interrupted this trip lightly. They also had no way of knowing which way they'd traveled, let alone what they'd decided to hunt, so it most likely didn't have anything to do with their current target either.
"Maybe some advice, ya know? Or a signature or something?" Raijin interjected, trying to lighten the mood. Fujin stood stock-still, her eyes fixed on the part of the forest where the aircraft had touched down.
"Whatever they want, they can fuck right off," Seifer grumbled.
Tensing at the less than welcoming tone, Squall kept his posture forcibly relaxed as part of him already reverted back to the poise that was expected of the SeeD Commander. They all knew no one would travel this far just to ask for advice. This was an extraction. One that deep down he already knew he wouldn't be able to refuse.
"We don't know anything yet," he said, the other part of him still hoping his gut feeling was wrong. When he caught the nervous twitches of Fujin's fingers on her weapons, he planted Lion Heart into the ground in an overt show of faith. "Let me do the talking."
Seifer frowned at the unmistakable order, not much better at anyone assuming authority over him than he'd ever been. He could pinpoint the exact second Squall had slipped into Commander mode, the change clear in Squall's demeanor. Calm and collected with an intense focus. Taking the lead and expecting everyone else to fall in line.
Clenching his jaw, he walked over to the campfire and grudgingly stabbed Kronos into the ashen ground just as Squall had. If all they could do was wait, he'd rather do it while staving off the cold. He crossed his arms and stared into the fire, ignoring Raijin's commiserating smile as his friend joined him. In the distance he could soon make out the sounds of footfalls and creaking branches, but he didn't glance in their direction. He'd know soon enough if they were SeeDs or Estharians.
Afforded no time to smooth over all the prickly reactions, Squall took in a deep breath as they waited. Fujin hadn't returned to the campfire with Seifer and Raijin, the woman's tension palpable as she remained rooted in her position. He hadn't expected the DC's skittish response, though he probably should have.
Luckily only one silhouette appeared between the skeletal trees, approaching with fast strides, alone and unable to pose any real perceived threat to the DC. The second they broke into the circle of light emitted by their campfire, Squall knew with certainty he'd be leaving when he spotted the familiar lower rank SeeD uniform and the look of relief that flashed over the young scout's face when she spotted him.
"Commander," she said with a crisp salute, her eyes gliding over his travel companions but betraying no outward opinion.
"At ease, SeeD," he acknowledged with a terse nod. "What are your orders?"
"My team was sent to retrieve you, sir. Headmistress Trepe's direct orders."
Squall frowned at the less than useful information. "Elaborate."
To her credit, the scout didn't flinch. "We're to escort you back to Esthar ASAP. We're one of three scout teams that were sent out to search for you, sir. Headmistress Trepe said discretion was paramount. She gave no additional orders or information."
Esthar. That told him precious little. If the scout wasn't in the know, he hoped that meant there wasn't any large-scale conflict brewing anywhere. And the discretion most likely applied to who he was traveling with rather than anything to do with the reason for his extraction.
"Go call off the other scout teams. I need to wrap things up here first. I'll meet you at the aircraft."
"Yes sir! We'll keep the engines running."
The woman gave another salute and briefly acknowledged the members of the DC with a curt nod before turning around and marching back into the forest with renewed vigor in her step. He waited until she'd disappeared from view entirely before he gathered his courage and turned to face Seifer.
The pit of his stomach dropped when Seifer didn't meet his gaze, the man glaring into the campfire with tense shoulders and crossed arms. The nameless crisis that was an entire continent away vanished from his thoughts, but as much as he wanted to, there was no way he could ignore this summons. He'd acted without hesitance, without asking Seifer's opinion, because there was no other choice. All the fights he'd had with Rinoa about his profession flashed through his mind like bad omens. He'd never hated his rank more than he did in this moment.
He could feel Fujin's eyes boring into his back as he walked to the campfire with his heart in his throat. At his approach, Raijin awkwardly peeled away from the fire with a scratch to the back of his neck, making himself scarce for the conversation to come.
Feeling Squall's eyes on him, Seifer fought to get his rampant emotions under control. Fuck, he detested every single last part of this. He didn't want to let Squall go, even though that was the only way for this to play out. He knew how much Squall lived for his job. How much Squall wanted to get back out there and prove he was right back at the top of his game.
He'd known this was inevitable. Squall needed to return to the field. Kick ass and save lives. Be a hero. There was no way he wanted to get in the way of that.
This was fine. To be expected.
"Guess this is it, huh?" he tried, managing a short-lived upwards turn to his lips as he looked up from the fire.
Squall frowned, spotting the lie in Seifer's accepting front. Taking a step closer, he weighed his words but could find none that would make this better. None of this was fair on Seifer. "I'm sorry."
Seifer shook his head. "Don't be," he supplied easily. He'd had enough of Squall apologizing for things beyond the man's control. "Garden on the other hand…" he said with a huff. "Right back on my shit list. You can tell Quistis I'm not impressed."
"She wouldn't recall me without good reason."
"There better fucking be," Seifer groused. Just one more day and they would have taken that monster down together. There was no way it would be the same without Squall there by his side. Squall had been looking forward to it just as much as he had. This was supposed to be their victory. Their memory. "Can't believe her shitty timing." He let his eyes travel to Squall's lips briefly. "Not that there's ever a good time for Garden to snatch you away."
Letting out a hum of agreement, Squall felt both grateful and guilty for Seifer's light words. Rinoa used to put on a brave face at first as well. Recoiling from the unwelcome comparison, he tried to tell himself this time things would be different. They had to be. His mind was racing in search of reasons to delay his departure, but he came up short, completely tongue tied.
When Squall didn't offer a reply, Seifer closed the small distance the man had left between them. "Hey," he said softly, bringing his index finger to rest beneath Squall's chin, nudging it upwards. "Doesn't matter where we are. We'll figure it out," he reassured, just as much for his own benefit as for Squall's, before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to Squall's lips. He stroked Squall's neck before letting his hand move to rest on Squall's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.
Squall gave a small nod as he tried to take comfort from the brief touches. He didn't want to inflict his own doubts on Seifer, a sense of anxiety steadily creeping up on him. He'd been ignoring the practical consequences of his return to the field, putting it far from his thoughts in favor of focusing on the here and now. Perhaps because he'd known from the start there was no good or easy solution. And now he was utterly unprepared.
Feeling his chest tighten at Squall's downcast expression, Seifer rested his chin on top of dark, choppy hair and took a deep breath. Hyne, it'd be hard to be away from him. In such a short time, Squall had managed to become an integral part of his life. The only tangible memories he'd have were the few photos he'd snuck onto his phone. He'd thought he'd have more time to expand on his collection, but he'd been far too caught up in each moment with Squall to remember to get his phone out. Already he regretted all the missed opportunities. At least he'd had the divine forethought to not leave Squall empty handed either.
"I left you something on your phone. To help tide you over," he offered, knowing the oblivious man would probably never find his surprise without direction. "Despite your stubbornness," he added with a wink, still remembering how averse Squall had been at the mere mention of photos back in Winhill.
Raising an eyebrow, Squall hadn't noticed anything of the sort during their trip. Then again, he hadn't been keeping close track of his phone, keeping it switched off to conserve battery ever since they'd left Wendel. He probably should be mad, but he couldn't muster any anger anymore over what he assumed were a few illicitly taken photographs. Any disingenuous jokes of just deleting them refused to fall from his lips. "You stole my phone and I'm the stubborn one?" he managed instead.
Seifer chuckled at the more than fair point. "You'll thank me later," he countered, sneaking in another kiss. "In fact, you can make it up to me by sending a treat or two my way when you have a moment to yourself."
"I think you misinterpreted Quistis's assignment."
"Always," Seifer admitted with the beginnings of a smirk. "If you want to show off those photos though, be my guest. Got nothing to hide, Princess."
Already having learned that much about Seifer during this trip, Squall gave a soft snort. He could guess well enough what kind of pictures Seifer might have taken. "That just tells me I shouldn't."
Seifer smiled at Squall's easy repartee, but when the banter trailed off and made way for a heavy silence, reality drove back home all the harder. Squall was leaving. Just a few more moments with the man and that would be it. There was absolutely nothing he could do to change it. No way he could convince Squall to stay, nor would he even want to. All he could do was stare and store away every last bit of how stunning Squall looked standing there in the flickering firelight.
Squall clamped down on the darkening feelings that began to twist his insides, unable to stand the silence that spelled the end of their time together. While he'd avoided thinking of their inevitable goodbye, this was not how he'd imagined leaving things with Seifer. In the middle of the night. In the middle of a trip together. There was so much more he felt he needed to say, but the words refused to form. He knew he'd already stalled too much. For all he knew, every second mattered in getting back to Esthar.
"…I should pack my things."
Seifer gave a solemn nod in response, the warm touch of his hands falling away from Squall's hips as he stepped away. The man's accepting front cracked and this time the cracks stayed, not smoothed away by a smile or light remark. Heart dropping further at the sight, Squall forced himself to retrieve his gunblade from where he'd pierced it into the ground and walked over to their tent. He pointedly ignored Fujin and Raijin's intent gazes.
Ducking into the tent, he switched on the small electric lantern and glanced about the interior with a sinking feeling. The very air in here smelled of Seifer, their sleeping bags zipped together into one large blanket. He could still see where Seifer had burrowed into it. It was a sad task to untangle and unzip their bedding until only one mattress and sleeping bag remained, his own rolled up and tied to his duffel bag. The few of his belongings that weren't already in his bag were quickly stowed away, his gunblade stored safely in its case after a perfunctory wipe to clean away the worst of the ash.
He heard no chatter from the Disciplinary Committee outside the tent while he worked, the silence a stark difference after days of raucous conversation and laughter. Frowning, he grabbed his things and stepped back out into the night far too quickly. Fujin and Raijin had joined Seifer by the campfire, standing awkwardly by their friend's side. All three looked over as he emerged from the tent, but it was the dejected look to green eyes that was the hardest to meet.
His heart protested fiercely at what he was about to do. If he let these feelings sink their claws into him, he'd never be able to leave, so he reined them in with every ounce of willpower he had and steeled himself against their impending separation as he walked over to join the DC. At the very least, he needed to set them up for success and compensate for his sudden disappearance. To tackle the monster they'd been hunting with a party of only three would be a dangerous challenge.
"I had Diablos scout again tonight," he said before anyone could instigate any platitudes or goodbyes, keeping his voice carefully even. "The creature's still dormant in the lava pit by the northern end of the valley. Temperatures are rising dangerously around it. Stay close to the river, keep it to your backs. Try to lure it away if you can."
With a nod, Seifer took in Squall's words even as his mind raced. Dread was beginning to seep into his thoughts, unfamiliar longing tightening his throat. All he wanted was more time with Squall. He didn't give two flying fucks about the fight ahead of them.
"It's standard procedure to have my emergency spell caches brought in for unexpected missions. You should draw everything I have on me," Squall continued, and Seifer had to wonder if stepping up as the Commander simply came naturally to Squall or if this ability to get down to business and ignore all else was just another coping mechanism.
Seifer shook his head, not needing any more spells after Squall had already given him half of his own. "I'm good," he said curtly before glancing Fujin's way and giving a nod.
Catching his meaning, Fujin met Squall's gaze and walked forward. "APPRECIATE."
Focusing his magic on Fujin, Squall opened up his junctions and spell stores with closed eyes, offering no resistance as Fujin began to draw them all in quick bursts. Her way with magic was about as gentle as her way with words, his spells removed with cool, rapid efficiency.
It was a far cry from the curiosity that had flared between Seifer and himself back in Arc's empty warehouse. A small smile had curled Seifer's lips as the man had drawn his spells, standing closer than was necessary, his humor and wonderment echoing in the touch of his magic. Anticipation had crackled in the very air around them that day. Now he couldn't even bring himself to look at Seifer, every passing second making it just that much harder to face him. He knew that even one glance would cost him the composure he so badly needed to see this through.
"EVERYTHING?"
"Everything," he confirmed with a tight nod.
Seifer's gaze was stuck on Squall as he stood spellbound. The weave of magic danced in the air and set Squall's face alight as one spell after the other flashed between him and Fujin. His feelings were a volatile mess, wavering between resentment and helpless desire, but he couldn't look away. Squall was right there in front of him, yet it already felt like he was miles away. Any second of not taking in every part of Squall would be one he'd regret for the days to come. The silver eyes and purple-blue glow of magic made the man look almost ethereal, like he was taken straight from a dreamscape.
Far too soon the bright tethers of magic died down, leaving only the comparatively dull light of their campfire. Somewhere along the way it seemed his heart had stopped beating. Squall hadn't even looked at him once.
"THANKS," Fujin said with a nod, her staccato voice cutting through the tense atmosphere.
Beside Seifer, Raijin gave an impressed whistle and smiled, as if all of this was perfectly acceptable. As if Seifer's chest wasn't tightening up at the mere thought of Squall leaving. "Yeah, man, that's really something. We'll give the monster a good whoopin', ya know?"
Forcing himself to go through the motions of normal social interaction, Squall gave a nod to the colorful pair. They deserved that much. As much as he hated leaving, at least he could rest assured that there were no better people to have Seifer's back throughout the fight to come. "Stay safe."
"YOU TOO, PRINCESS," Fujin said with a teasing glint to her eyes.
Squall met the woman's gaze with a silent acknowledgment of their newfound understanding, before he turned to accept the hand Raijin held out to him. It was promptly given a firm shake as Raijin held his gaze with an easy smile. "Wildest fucking surprise, ya know?" the man said with a chuckle. "Will be fun doing this again. Just maybe lay off the cooking next time, huh?"
"SQUALL. BANNED. COOKING," Fujin agreed with a snicker.
Taken off guard by his expected return for the DC's future trips and Fujin's lack of protest, Squall raised an eyebrow. "Majority rules," he conceded, easily accepting the convenient ban if not the implied invitation that came with it.
"Dangerous sentiment if you wanna roll with us, man.'
"Nothing I can't handle," Squall shot back, a veteran by now at dealing with the DC's antics.
"CHALLENGE. ACCEPTED."
Squall would have smiled as well if not for Seifer's conspicuous silence throughout the exchange. The DC's acceptance had been hard-won, but in that moment he didn't have it in him to care. He didn't care about future trips. He wanted to stay for this one. Feeling Seifer's piercing gaze on him, he didn't yet dare to meet it while the man's friends could study his every reaction.
Perhaps picking up on the change in atmosphere, Raijin scratched the back of his neck and gave him a nod. "We'll let you guys say goodbye."
Fujin didn't bother with any more parting words, jostling him with a borderline painful clap to the shoulder as she walked past him.
Barely registering their send-off, Squall waited until the two walked out of immediate earshot before he finally turned to face Seifer. Green eyes immediately locked with his, flipping his stomach with a powerful jolt of want. He could see the storm brewing in Seifer's gaze, the man's face pulled into tight concern. Whatever stoic resolve he'd mustered until now left him instantly, his feet starting into motion the exact same second as Seifer rushed up to him.
Sweeping Squall into his arms, Seifer grabbed hold of the man tightly. Squall's arms immediately wrapped around him, their lips colliding together with urgent need. Their hands were all over, grasping each other hungrily. He'd never fucking let go, never fucking let Squall leave. He wouldn't, couldn't give this up. Not for the world. Ignoring just how irrational such thoughts were, he kissed Squall deeply.
Squall's hands twisted into the back of Seifer's jacket as he cast all of himself into their desperate kiss. Seifer's hold on him was crushing, nearly lifting him off his feet, filling him with relief and regret all at once. He didn't know how to deal with the rebellion of his desires. Never before had he been so at odds with himself. Leaving had always been easy. Second nature. Now he was clinging to Seifer as if it would be the last kiss they'd ever share. He needed to burn every detail into his memory. The scent of him. The feel of him. The frantic hunger of Seifer's touch that told him they felt the same way.
Meshing Squall's lips and tongue wildly with his own, Seifer needed just one more moment of alleviating the deep ache that had grown inside him. Squall's fingers were digging harshly into his back, all of it reassuring him that fuck no, Squall didn't want to leave either. He pushed even further, held on even tighter. Kissed deeper and with a longing he'd never felt quite as keenly before.
It took all of his willpower to finally retreat his lips and lean his forehead against Squall's, their panting breaths rushing out between them. Squall immediately disregarded his attempt and recaptured his mouth in another kiss, reaching for more. Satisfiction coursed through him as he let himself indulge a little longer, before bringing their kiss to a close yet again.
He needed to be the one to end this. To witness Squall collect himself behind an uncaring facade one more time would be the worst fucking way to end things. He needed to keep this greedy and vulnerable side of Squall clear in his mind to get himself through the days and weeks to come. A calm and inscrutable Squall would cut more deeply than Lion Heart ever could. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes as a brief moment of stillness finally settled between them, afraid his resolve would immediately crumble. "You should go," he urged softly.
Stubbornly keeping his forehead pressed to Seifer's, Squall let out a shaky breath as he felt Seifer's hold loosen on him. Every fiber of his being protested the thought of leaving the man's embrace, but he couldn't be the one to ruin the composure Seifer was trying to enforce on both of them. For one childish second he fantasized about disobeying Garden's summon and staying right here, before he reminded himself of his duty. Of what he had to do. What he always had to do.
He raised one hand to the back of Seifer's head and looked up into Seifer's eyes, drinking in the sight of him. He placed a firm, harsh kiss on Seifer's lips, only daring to linger for a few heartbeats, before he stepped away, picked up his things and turned around.
Seifer's heart squeezed painfully. He couldn't look away as Squall stalked off into the forest, towards the river. The memories they had forged together in the past couple of weeks rushed through his mind and gained all the more weight, making it even harder to remain in place as Squall disappeared into the bleak darkness ahead. He ran a hand through his hair and pulled at the short strands.
Immediately something was missing. Something fucking fundamental and every last inch of him burned to run after Squall. To grab hold of him and kiss him and demand him to stay. Because this fucking ache in his chest was completely unacceptable.
The sound of Raijin and Fujin's approaching footsteps pulled his gaze away from the spot where Squall had disappeared. He'd forgotten they were even there. Realizing his shoulders had slumped, he drew himself to his full height, defying the guarded pity in their eyes.
"Sucks, Seif'." Raijin's voice was subdued and his gaze earnest.
"SHIT LUCK," Fujin chimed in, taking a step closer and cursing loudly. "FUCKING GARDEN."
Seifer huffed in agreement. He'd never truly resented Garden, but if this was to become a recurring thing, SeeDs whisking Squall away at a moment's notice, then he might just start hating the place. Fuck. This was his first taste of what his future with Squall would hold and he didn't like it one bit.
"Why do you think they had to come and grab him, man?"
"Hell if I know," he said with a shrug. The SeeD hadn't divulged anything of use. If something big was going down, then he'd rather not know about it or try to make pointless guesses. He met both of their gazes as he came to a decision. "I'll take the rest of Squall's shift on top of my own." No matter their well-meaning intentions, he needed to work through this alone. "You guys get some sleep."
"You sure, man? Happy to keep you company, ya know?"
Seifer shook his head softly. "Nah. Need some time to regroup."
"Anything you need, man," Raijin said uncertainly.
"TIME APART. BRIEF," Fujin tried to reassure.
Seifer was slow to nod, his frown deepening. He had a feeling that wouldn't be the case, but there was no point in inflicting his depressing suspicions on his friends.
A halfhearted attempt to brush off Fujin's concern died on his lips when the distant hum of engines suddenly roared into a thunderous echo that blasted through the valley. Turning his gaze towards the river, he spotted the darkened outline of the Estharian aircraft as it lifted up high above the forest before launching towards the mountains and disappearing into the night.
Seifer stared into the darkness left in its wake, the abrupt return of silence just as jarring as the loud commotion of engines. His thoughts kept spiraling, repeating the same events, rationalizations, and outcomes over and over again, once more reaching the same conclusion. He needed to be alone.
"Get your asses into that tent, already. Get some sleep." He inclined his head in the tent's direction. "We've got a monster to kill tomorrow."
Fujin nodded, her gaze wary. She definitely wasn't fooled by his lackluster posturing, but mercifully she decided to heed his order and started walking towards their tent. He let his shoulders sag as her scrutiny fell away.
"Alright man," Raijin conceded, briefly meeting his gaze as well before following in her footsteps.
Uncharitable thoughts filled his head as he watched them enter their tent together. He wanted exactly what they had. They got to spend every last fucking moment together. Shared a home day in and day out. He kicked up some dirt and ash in a petty fit as he walked over to the campfire and sat himself down on the ground, leaning back against a burnt out tree. They had it so fucking easy. They never had to worry about when they'd see each other again or wonder about how many nights they'd have to spend apart.
That was the worst part. Not knowing. It could be a week, a month, longer. Maybe it'd be once he was back in Esthar. Most likely not. Back at the Palace, Squall had admitted to coming to Esthar only sporadically, more than a month elapsing between his usual visits. At least Squall was currently heading to Esthar. That was something. Maybe they wouldn't be apart for that long after all. And even if they'd only see each other briefly, it would be better than nothing.
Hyne, he hadn't even asked how long Squall usually got to stay with Rinoa. A grim sense of foreboding filled him. Considering the deterioration of Squall's relationship with Rinoa, he didn't imagine Squall ever having stayed put for long.
And then it hit him. All the hints that he'd been so quick to brush off before, never realizing just how fucking invested he'd end up being. Laguna, Quistis, and Ellone. All of them had seemed surprised by Squall and him going off on a holiday. Ellone had even commented on Squall still having been around after a few measly fucking days. If that was all he was going to get in the future… If Garden would demand Squall's attention twenty-four seven for most of the year, that left precious little time for them to be together. And Squall was the SeeD Commander before anything else. He'd shown that just moments ago. Nothing would ever come between Squall and his duty. Not even this thing they'd started.
He threw his head back against the charcoaled tree behind him, awash with deep longing.
What the fuck had Squall reduced him to?
A pitiful, pining asshole.
He pulled on the hair at the back of his head and took a tightly controlled breath.
He'd known this was coming. That Garden would come and whisk Squall away the second Squall was on the mend. They'd been on borrowed time from the fucking get go.
Shit.
The emptiness kicked in full force. He'd taken things one day at a time, never stopping to consider what would happen when Squall had to return to his duty-bound life. Nothing could distract him from this feeling. All he wanted was to be by Squall's side, breathe in his scent, nuzzle close and fuck him raw. Fuck, he'd even have joined Squall on that aircraft if it had meant more time with the man. But he would've just been pushed to the sidelines and ignored the moment they hit Esthar. At least here he'd have his friends and a monster hunt to distract him.
His thoughts circled back. What was so important Garden couldn't just use another operative? Why had Quistis ordered Squall's extraction? The worry that settled in his gut was as unwelcome as the longing. He didn't like not knowing what Squall was in for. He got up from the ground, too worked up to sit still. He had to push the anxious thoughts of Squall's mission away. If anyone was capable of taking care of themselves, it was Squall. The moment he started to worry for the man's safety was also the moment he disrespected the shit out of Squall, so there was no way he'd let himself.
He kicked a log and winced, then set off to the edge of the campfire's light to start a walk around the perimeter, unable to muster any focus. The grim but peacefully silent forest offered no distractions to steer himself away from this self-absorbed misery.
At least they'd be busy tracking and fighting tomorrow. It was the empty tent waiting for him tonight, and every night after that, that had him dreading the rest of this trip. The acute absence of Squall would haunt him during every single moment from here on out.
Fuck, he loved Squall.
Nothing would ever be the same again. Hell, he might have even considered taking Quistis up on her offer to return to Garden if it meant he'd get to see more of the man. But he had more self respect than that. He had a life in Esthar he didn't want to give up. Either way, he felt the truth all too keenly. What had happened within the mere span of two weeks was going to change his life forever. He hoped it'd be for the better, but it damned well didn't feel like it right now. Now things just fucking sucked.
~ o ~
A/N: Happy belated birthday to Squall ;) This was our birthday present to him, lol :3 Can't just have him stay happy now, can we?