Chapter 8

"I need a room for the night please," I say to the receptionist at this hotel in the middle of Montana.

"How many are staying?" the receptionist asks.

"Just me," I answer. I pull out my card and the receptionist quickly checks me in and hands me the key to a room. I head up to the floor and find the room, walking in and plopping down on the bed. The exhaustion from driving almost eight hours finally catches up to me as I let out a sigh. I pull out my phone, noticing several missed calls from Derek. I roll my eyes. It's not like you cared before, why do you care now? I toss my phone onto the nightstand as I lay down and stare up at the ceiling. An anxious feeling creeps over me. Did I do the right thing? But as memories of the past few months come flooding in, my heart hardens as I find the answer to that question. Yes, yes I did.

I get up the next morning and head back on the road. I drive the general direction of Miami. Dad would welcome me back if I can't find anywhere else, I think to myself as I drive into South Dakota. And surely somewhere between there and Seattle would have an orthopedic surgeon opening.

Three additional days; six more states find me in a hotel in Tennessee. As I sit on my laptop, I find a nearby hospital with an orthopedic surgeon opening. "Hey, and it's got a chance to get promoted to chief of the department!" I say to myself as I begin the application. The excitement dashes when I reach the former employer and reference section of the application. I left without a trace…can I really ask them for a reference? My eyebrows furrow as I remember the argument with Derek the day before I left. Actually, it's the least they can do. I furiously type in the hospital's information and hit submit on the application.

I hang around Tennessee, anxiously waiting to hear back from the hospital about my application. I get myself familiar with the area, enjoying the sights. I could get used to this, I think to myself as I sit in a park, taking in the cool autumn breeze and the array of colors in the trees.

I jump when I hear my phone ring. Excited that it might be the hospital in Tennessee, I don't even bother checking the caller ID. "Hello?" I answer, trying to hide my frantic tone.

"Torres!" My heart sinks when I recognize the voice. "It's good to actually hear your voice."

"Hunt," I say, not hiding my disappointment. "You're not the call I was expecting."

"I could say the same thing about the voicemail I got from a hospital in Tennessee asking to speak with me about the application a 'Dr. Torres' put into to work for them," Owen answers with an angry tone. "Torres we weren't even sure you were dead or alive. You vanish without a trace and the first thing we get from you is a hospital following up on your references to see if they want to interview you?!"

"Hunt, I'm sorry," I say, feeling actually remorseful.

"You should be," Owen snaps back.

"I just can't be there anymore," I say, my voice cracking. "I can't live and work in a place that reminds me that they're gone every time I turn a corner. I've done nothing but let people down there and I need a fresh start."

I hear Owen sigh on the other line. "I'm not going to call them back and give you a recommendation without knowing you're safe. Are you eating, sleeping…are you hurting yourself?"

"No, I'm not hurting myself," I say. I let out a sigh, "I'm fine, Owen. I'm staying at this nice hotel in Tennessee. I'm eating, I'm sleeping, I'm taking care of myself…better than I was in Seattle since everything. I finally feel like I can breathe."

"You're not coming back, are you?" Owen asks.

I pause, not having actually thought about that question. "No…no I'm not," I finally make out.

Owen sighs again. "Alright," he says finally, "I'll call them."

I let out a gasp. "Thank you, Owen," I say, failing to hide my emotion.

"Just promise me to take care of yourself," Owen says. "It's what they would have wanted."

"I promise," I say. "This is me taking care of myself."

"Alright, I believe you," Owen says. "Take care." I hear the line go dead as I sit up and let the tears trickle down my face. I've left Seattle…I really did it…and there's no going back now.