Kotori woke up before dawn every morning to train. It was so early that even the morning songbirds refused to sing.
Kakashi was worried. She had always been an early riser, but something had shifted after her attempted assassination. More than once he had come home to find her sleeping on the couch or at the kitchen table and carried her to bed. He had watched as Kotori came home exhausted every day, run bone ragged with training and missions and monitoring her chakra bird network. She played it off with a smile. Would say that everyone was busy or stressed. But he could tell she was burning herself out.
He didn't realize how severe it was until he got back from tracking Itachi - and Sasuke - for three weeks. There was no denying it. The soft curves of her body had rapidly been replaced by hard lines. The light in her eyes had faded and he could see the dark bags underneath her eyes from sleepless nights.
So when he felt her stir next to him long before the sun, he rolled over, pinning her with his arm and leg and holding her tightly. "No you don't. You're staying in bed with me today."
He could feel her struggling to get out of his grip. Her teeth barred as she tried to break free. "Get off! It's my only day off and I need to train. Ibiki's boot camp has been kicking my ass - he's a complete sadist."
Kakashi was surprised how much force he needed to subdue Kotori. All of her training had clearly paid off. Still, he had a few tricks up his sleeve.
"Do I need to wear you out so you stay in bed?" He whispered in her ear. "Because I will."
He ground his growing erection into her. It had been an embarrassingly long time since they had had sex. Between missions and pure exhaustion, neither of them could do more than collapse when they got home.
She hooked her leg around his waist and tried to flip him over, but he resisted. He lightly pinned her wrists above her head, watching to make sure she was okay with it. They both knew she could get out if she truly wanted, but Kakashi intended to made sure she enjoyed herself too much to even try.
"Kakashi," her voice was a warning as she freed herself from his grip. And to hell if he wasn't turned on by it. He loved when her voice took on that commanding tone and ordered him around.
"Kotori," he mocked. "Let me take care of you."
He purposely echoed the words he told her all those weeks ago, reminding her that she needed to take care of herself or she would burn herself out. She sagged underneath him.
"What do you need?" He gently asked.
"I - I need to stop thinking."
"I think I can handle that," he promised.
xXx
"Tori-chan?" He whispered. He smiled to himself as he watched her sleeping peacefully in his arms. Her face hidden against his chest. Mission accomplished.
He carefully extracted himself, making sure she didn't stir. While Kakashi hated sweet things, he knew pancakes with fresh fruit was an indulgence Kotori wouldn't turn down. So while she slept, he silently set to work in the kitchen. He placed the plate on the end table next to her with a status seal, keeping it fresh until she activated it. He added one of his grey chakra birds to her room so that he knew when she woke up. Kotori would probably be a bit peeved knowing he was using her own technique against her.
But not as peeved as she would be if she knew he planned on slipping into ANBU to try and gathering information on her new commanding officer.
He hadn't actually give his ANBU uniform back all those years ago and it served him well at blending in with a nondescript kabuki mask and his Sukea wig. Kakashi smiled to himself as he slipped past Kotori's chakra birds that watched over the ANBU Headquarters. Some of them so cleverly hidden that he would have never noticed if he hadn't been so familiar with her chakra or her technique. There were a few he even needed to use the sharingan to find.
Hinoki's office was empty and whoever had taken over it had left no indication of their identity. The same old tapestry with the word Endure on it. The same small, plastic haworthia on the desk. The same three photographs were hung on the wall of the village, the Hokage Monument, Senju Park and the Memorial Stone. There wasn't even a scrap of paper with a handwriting sample.
Kakashi's entire body froze the second his hand touched the drawer. At the last possible second, he was released and could move his head to avoid the senbon that whizzed past his left ear.
"Kakashi?" Ensui said, stepping into view of the doorway. "Why the hell are you sneaking around here?"
Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "I was hoping to chat with Hinoki's replacement about some things."
The stag mask hid Ensui's reaction. "They didn't tell you who - ?"
"Ever since leaving ANBU, I'm on need-to-know. Do you know who Tsunade replaced Hinoki with? Don't give me their name, just codename." Kakashi knew most of the ANBU captains and could figure it out easily. "I want to know if the guy is some kind of tyrant - he's got Kotori burning out with all these demands."
Ensui sighed and shook his head.
"The only tyrant in this department is your girlfriend. She's her own worst enemy when it comes to pushing herself too far." He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I actually like the new head. Most do - even the skeptics. Won them over after they managed to strong arm my brother into giving twenty more recruits to ANBU. Things are improving."
"High praise coming from you - did they put Badger in charge?"
If Kakashi hadn't already asked Kotori, he would have wondered if it was her. He had been surprised - and relieved - when Tsunade didn't promote her. For a while, he had assumed that Hinoki was grooming her to take over the position. They spent a lot of time together and Kotori was far more involved in the department's operations than the average ANBU captain. For her sake, he was grateful that Tsunade had given it to someone else. He knew Kotori would hate being in a leadership position in ANBU, even if she would have been great at it. It was hell. Hinoki had always been caught between a rock and a hard place - trying to shield her ANBU from the bullshit politics from above while seen as a useless bureaucrat by the ANBU underneath her.
"I will not confirm or deny anything."
Kakashi relaxed. Badger was a fair captain and a good replacement.
"I see, well if you could do me a favour and not tell Kotori I was here."
Ensui muttered something unintelligible before walking away.
xXx
Kotori was waiting for him when he returned to her apartment. She was wearing one of his old jonin shirts that was too big for her. It hung off her shoulders and the sleeves covered her hands. She was adorable as she curled up on the couch, book in hand.
"Thought we were spending the day together in bed," Kotori teased, lowering the book to her lap. "I woke up all alone."
He held up the bag from her favourite sushi place. "Had to step out to get a few things."
Her expression softened. "You really shouldn't have."
Kakashi had needed this day off just as much as Kotori had. Seeing her relaxed and being able to do something as leisurely as stay home reading brought him a sense of peace. For the rest of the day, he wanted to forget that there was a war brewing outside of these four walls.
Barely a week ago, Lord Fukasaku had appeared to deliver the news that Jiraiya had been killed by the Akatsuki. He had given them Jiraiya's last message, the corpse of Pein and a prisoner. The village had been turned upside down ever since. Kakashi's mind had been constantly pondering over the message they had decoded from Jiraiya and what was the true nature of the one called Pein. With Naruto out of the village with Lord Fukasaku, it would finally allow him the chance to focus on his own training.
But for today... he would take his own advice and rest before he too burned out from the stress.
He made them both a cup of green tea, setting them on the coffee table before joining Kotori on the couch. She let out a tiny squawk as he pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly. His chin rested on her shoulder as he glanced at the book. "What are you reading?"
"It's that new manga," she said, relaxing into him. "The one with the spy and assassin. They're a fake family with this telepathic kid and she's hiding from him that she's an assassin and he's hiding from her that he's a spy and the kid knows everything. It's stupidly cute. Here, I'll start over so we can read it together."
"How does a spy and an assassin manage that?"
"Well, they're kind of oblivious to each others' lies because they're in love."
"I see," he warmly said, settling in as Kotori started from the beginning.
It was the perfect afternoon. Neither of them moved much from the couch, except to pick at the food he had gotten or make another cup of tea. They didn't speak much either, content to simply be in each other's company. The world outside never stopped, but for a few blissful hours it had slowed down so that only the two of them existed.
Long after the tea was finished and the sushi eaten and volumes one through four of the manga were sitting in a pile, Kakashi laid on the couch with Kotori nestled beside him.
"What do you want to do when the war ends?" Kakashi asked.
Her eyes closed. "Lately I've been having a hard time imaging that life."
"Try."
"We would retire from active duty and just travel for a bit," she said. "I'd like to see more of the world and actually enjoy it - not sneaking through in the dead of night."
"Done," he agreed. He closed his eyes as she spoke, playing with her hair.
"Tsunade would have to find a new retirement plan."
Kakashi snorted. He was well aware of Tsunade's threats to throw the Hokage hat in his lap and walk off. Those threats were growing more and more real each day. Since Jiraiya's death... he couldn't help but worry that she would finally snap and do it.
"I think I know a guy who's crazy enough to want the job," Kakashi said. "He might have mentioned it, once or twice… a day… since the time he was twelve."
They shared a smile.
"We can build a house," he murmured. "Somewhere quiet, on the outskirts. Maybe restore my father's old house."
He still owned the property, but hadn't been out to visit it in years. After boarding it up in his youth and moving into the jonin apartment complex, he had never gone back. He could only imagine the sorry state that the property was in these days.
"We could have kids." Her voice was soft, almost lilting up in a question.
He had always known that Kotori had desired children one day. Something he accepted as an eventuality in their relationship, even if he had his own hangups around fatherhood. He had not doubt in his capability of loving their children, but he worried he wouldn't be good enough, that he would make too many mistakes, that he would fail his children in ways he couldn't even imagine. But still - for Kotori - he would try.
"A boy and a girl," he agreed. "They'd look like their mother. I wouldn't want them to inherit my hair. They'd grow up in peacetime. They could learn the family katas, but they'd never actually have to use them."
Kotori abruptly sat up and he could see the desire for a life that she had almost given up on.
"Three," she said, giving him a tiny smile. "You know the saying - if you can handle a genin team, you can handle three kids."
"Maaah, I couldn't handle a genin team though. The Sanin took them. And when I got two of them back, Yamato stepped in. But I suppose it would be different." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'd have you."
"It's a nice dream," she sighed.
"Isn't it?" Kakashi agreed. "Thinking about our lives after the war - it's what keeps me going. One day, I promise."
Kotori blinked back tears. "I'll hold you to that."
After everything they had been through, he wanted a soft life with her. One with a happy ending.
AN: Remember the time Kakashi canonically died for a few episodes? I think about that a lot. Actually, I've been thinking about that moment for YEARS. Specifically, Kotori's reaction to it. Buckle up. XD
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