The doorbell rings almost exactly at the same time as my phone chirps. Funny how those things happen. My first instinct is to run downstairs and answer the door, but I don't even have my other leg in my shorts yet. Not to mention that the girls are still hanging loose. I'm presuming the visitor is Suzu, since we're expecting her, so I trust the task of letting her in to Takatoshi's dad while I finish getting clothed. Afterwards, I open my bedroom door for Suzu before walking back over to my nightstand to pick up my phone.

A school-related message from Shino. I can tell it's school-related instantly just by the wall of text that greets me. If it concerns Ousai, Shino Amakusa has a habit of writing her messages like they're freakin' dissertations.

"Yo." Through the mirror in front of me, I look up to see the reflection of Suzu at my open door, her own phone in hand.

"Hey, Suzu."

"Hope you don't mind. Tsuda's dad let me in."

"No worries. Make yourself cozy." She plops down at the edge of my bed while I continue with, "You get a text from the President, too?"

She holds up her phone. "I read it on the way up the stairs. I've already clicked on the link at the bottom. I wanted to wait for you before continuing."

"What's the link?"

"To the cloud drive." Ah, of course. The online file storage we've started using which lets us review, and even sign, council-related documents remotely. As discreetly as possible, I slide down to the bottom of the message, but Suzu smirks. "Don't just skip through the Prez's message," she scolds.

I chuckle. "You caught me." Sitting down next to her, I finish Shino's explanatory paragraphs with Suzu's eyes boring into me all the while. Once I'm on the cloud drive, as well, Suzu and I go through the indicated documents together and submit our virtual initials and signatures wherever highlighted. It only takes a few minutes, and we don't even have to have a huge onsite meeting to do it all. Man, I love how Ousai's getting more and more with the modern-day remote scene.

Well, it's official. The sophomore-year school trip is going to be at an absolutely gorgeous river city in the Gunma Prefecture called Maebashi. The school trip for next year's sophomores, that is. The one for us in June has long-since been decided as Okinawa.

"And that's it," says Suzu. We both click the approval button, and the final document registers as complete. "That's all of us, mostly. All that's left is Tsuda's approval. Where is he, anyway?"

"Should be finishing up his bath right about now."

"In the morning?"

"We had a plumbing issue last night. It's why my hair's still kind of damp, if you were wondering. Just got out myself a little earlier."

"Pendragon, you in here?" As if right on cue, Takatoshi strolls into my bedroom with nothing but a towel around his waist. I'm so used to this sight that it takes me a moment to even realize that Suzu is so most certainly not. "Oh," he then says, turning to her. "Hey, Hagimura. Didn't know you were in already. You come early?"

"I did. I have. No. I mean, I arrived earlier than I said I — Hey, there. Tsuda. Nice . . . morning, isn't it?"

He shrugs. "No complaints. Anyways, Pendragon. I forgot to tell you that Mom asked us to help her and Dad wrap the dumplings when we get back."

"Oh, okay. The family party at your aunt's still at seven, right?"

"Yup. Now, who's going to wake up Kotomi?" He holds out his hand, offering rock-paper-scissors. "Best two out of three?" Challenge accepted.

"One-two-three —" Damn. "One-two-three —" Damn.

I groan. "What the hell is it with my luck in this game?"

"You just don't have that magic touch. I'm going to get ready."

"Oh, Shino just texted us the link for the last Maebashi documents. Suzu and I signed off on our portions already."

"Electronic signatures?" he asks from the hall, walking towards his room.

"Yup."

"Okay, thank you." With that, we hear his door close.

Looking back at Suzu causes me to choke back a snicker. Her face is bright-red and she's still staring in a daze at my doorway. I then shut it and whisper, "Suzu, come on! You've seen those abs before."

"He caught me off-guard, okay? It's weird to suddenly see him like that when there's no sand around, or a pool nearby. It just felt so out of place!"

"All right, I'll give you that. It's like that bra versus bikini thing."

"Exactly! It's an instinctive reaction that women just can't suppress."

"Pretty much. By the way, you still got some drool on the side of your chin there."

She chuckles, looking away. "Stop it."

We both freeze. Frantic footsteps sprint up the stairs, and then towards my room. The door swings open to reveal a panting Uomi. "Did I miss it?" she cries.

"Miss what?" we ask.

"The Naked Taka Show!" At that, I hear the faint sound of a lock clicking from down the hall.

"No such event took place," says Suzu. "He was wearing a towel."

"So, I did miss it."

"How did you even know that he just came out of the shower?"

"My Taka sense is always on point, Suzu."

"How far did you run?" I ask.

She leans down with her hands on her knees to finally catch her breath. "About halfway here from the bus stop."

Suzu and I look at each other and laugh. "Poor Mori," says Suzu. "Uomi, did you leave her behind?"

"I'm here," comes a soft voice. Mori slinks into view, winded. "P-pardon my intrusion."

"Nonsense Mori," I say. "We invited you all the same. Now, both of you come in and sit down. I have to wake up Kotomi really quick, then I'll grab you both some water."

"Don't worry," says Suzu. "I'll get them the water."

"Appreciate it." As soon as Suzu's out the door, I feel Uomi's hand grab mine. There's a mischievous smile on her lips.

"Let's wake Kotomi up the fun way," she says. "Go downstairs and wait with Suzu, Mori."

"Oh. Okay."

Just before she disappears out of sight, I lock eyes with Mori and whisper, "You might want to call the police."

It's now just Uomi and me alone in my room, which is officially our room. We bunk in my full-size bed whenever she sleeps over. Well, Uomi says snuggle. I say bunk. Not because I don't like the company. Far from it. It's just to help balance out the fact that Uomi has a habit of over-ambiguously implying to anybody who might listen that we may or may not be butt-buddies after dark.

"I knew this would come in handy." She reaches into the corner of her assigned drawer and pulls out a large t-shirt that I don't recognize either of us having ever worn. "Smell this."

"How about no?" Fabric meets my face, regardless. A familiar scent hits me, and I slump. Now I know where she's going with this. "This is Takatoshi's shirt."

"Sure is." She puts it on over her polo and happily breathes in a handful of cotton. Even though Takatoshi's like twice our size, it's looking pretty snug on her.

"Your boobs are going to stretch that out."

"It's okay. To make it even, I'll give him one of my panties to wear. His **** will stretch it out when it gets up in the morning."

I frown. "You know I can't let that happen, Uomi."

"I'm joking, Artoria! Relax. Even I know which ones of my fantasies needs to stay in my head."

"All right, fine. But you know, he's also probably been looking for that shirt."

"Not a chance. This shirt was just a duplicate of one of his, anyway. I swapped it out the other day after he'd already worn it all night."

"Crafty witch."

"Shameless tease."

"I am not!"

"Then why aren't you wearing a bra?"

"Bullshit!" I lift up my blouse to invalidate her claim, only to receive a purple-nurple reached right into the cup. "Ouch!"

"Got you again!" Before I can retort, or even rub at my poor nipple, she's pulling me out the room to stand outside Kotomi's door. It's only now I notice that she's suddenly holding a 10-inch-long sushi roll. The frick? Where the hell was she keeping that? "Follow my lead," she then whispers.

"Sushi?"

Uomi nods. "I bought them in a pack on the way over here. There's one for each of us. It's the lunch I said I would bring in the group chat this morning, remember? The rest are in a shoulder bag on the counter downstairs."

"Wow. First of all, thank you very much, you beautifully generous human being, you. Secondly, where did you even get them? Aren't they out of season? I thought you're only supposed to eat an ehomaki for good luck on that holiday back in February."

"Setsubun." She's waving the roll this way and that, playfully baiting my gaze.

"Right. Setsubun." And I'm not proud to admit that my eyes are following that thing's every move. "Is the name of the holiday."

"Anyways, if it's long, hard, and goes in your mouth, you'll always be able to find what you're looking for if you know where to look."

"And now I've lost my appetite."

"Have you, now?" She slaps the massive roll against her cheek a couple of times before sensually whiffing the entire length of it. "It's nice and fresh, bursting with flavor, and very ridiculously proportioned. You remember that sad, little five-inch sushi roll we got you during the Setsubun festival, right? Well, this one's the real deal, Artoria, my dear. Oh, my! I hope you realize how much you're shaking."

Through gritted teeth, I mumble, "It looks delicious."

"It is. Play along, and maybe I'll give you half of my sushi roll to go along with yours for lunch. Be an extra good girl, and I might even convince Taka to let you nibble a bit on his ehomaki on the train ride to Ousai." She grins at my indecision.

"You just had to make it weird."

"Come on. You know what I'm all about." She playfully pats the roll against her palm as she awaits my answer. Against my better judgement, I nod. "Good girl," she says. "Now follow me and shush it!" Uomi slowly opens Kotomi's door. She's still in bed, of course, snoring softly yet firmly like she always does. Carefully, we creep over, my movements essentially mirroring Uomi. She leans in to Kotomi's exposed ear and blows gently.

The snores stop immediately. She audibly shudders. A blush grips her cheeks, but her eyes remain closed. "Huh?"

With an impressive baritone added to her voice, Uomi whispers, "Kotomi? It's your brother."

"Taka?"

"Shh. Keep your eyes closed for me. It's okay." Uomi scoops me into her arms and slowly sits on the bed, presumably making our combined weight mimic Takatoshi. We can actually feel the vibrations on the mattress coming from Kotomi. Holding back a snicker, Uomi whispers seductively in her mock-Takatoshi voice, "Are you keeping your eyes closed for me, Kotomi?"

"Th-they are, Taka."

"Good girl. Now, I have a very special present for my very special baby sister."

A gulp. "Y-yes, Taka? What is it?"

Uomi carefully lifts the edge of the blanket where Kotomi's arm looks to be. "Hold out your hand for me, but keep your eyes closed."

With a startling lack of hesitation, Kotomi's open hand shoots out. Here comes the sushi roll. With a light and dainty grip, Uomi flops the damn thing right into her palm.

Kotomi yelps and shoots up. "Wait! Lock the door first!"

Silence grips the room. Kotomi's eyes are bulged, darting quickly between my face and Uomi's in utter confusion.

"Lock the door first?" I finally echo her, unable to suppress my laughter.

Uomi's in stiches, rolling around on Kotomi's bed. "No way! That worked out better than I thought it would!"

"I didn't say anything! Why are you teasing me? What a dirty trick to pull off when I just barely woke up!" Poor little Kotomi is trying to hide behind her blanket, her eyes peeking out and getting watery.

Still laughing, I get down to crawl to the side of her bed to pull her in for a comforting hug. She accepts it wholeheartedly and proceeds to snivel into my chest in her usual, dramatic way. "I'm sorry, Kotomi. We had to wake you up somehow."

"It's time to get dressed, sweetie," adds Uomi, catching her breath. "We're leaving for Ousai in a few minutes."

"I don't want to go anymore! That was so mean what you guys just did!"

"You have to go! It's your first day as manager of your school's Judo Club."

"So what? It's not important, anyway. It's you guys who have to go because you have to organize your stupid interschool baseball match next week!"

"Fine," I say. "Then you can stay at home by yourself and help your mom and dad roll one-hundred and fifty dumplings."

Before we even know it, Uomi and I are staring at Kotomi's shut door. "I'll see you downstairs in a second!" she says from the other side. There's much shuffling and sliding of drawers as she scrambles to get dressed.

"Not even a bath yet?" Uomi asks me. "Didn't you guys have a plumbing issue last night?"

"She had time to take hers right before it happened. No points for guessing how the faucet broke off in the first place."

After bidding farewell to the Tsuda parents and reassuring them over and over again that we'll be back in time to help prepare the potluck dishes, we're all out the door and making our way to the train station. It's close enough that we don't need to take the bus. Shino and Aria happened to be on our side of town this morning doing some shopping, so we'll be meeting them outside the station instead of at Ousai. Our stroll is filled with the usual chatter, as well as several questions to get to know Mori a bit more. Interestingly enough, Suzu is nonchalantly walking closer to Takatoshi than she normally would. It's apparent to both Uomi and I that she's feeling jealous of how ridiculously well Takatoshi and Mori get along. I mean, seriously. Any closer, and they might as well be holding hands.

With the station just around the corner now, Uomi gasps and approaches Takatoshi, who had offered to carry the shoulder bag filled with our ehomaki lunch. She reaches in and pulls one out, looking at me. "I almost forgot, Artoria. A deal is a deal. You want to eat half of mine now?"

I grunt, torn between digging into the offering, and not looking like a total fatass by being the only person in a group walking down the street with a 10-inch sushi roll dangling out of their mouth.

"Uh, only if you guys want to maybe take a bite, too?" Takatoshi, Kotomi, Suzu, and Uomi all pass. I turn to Mori, who seems to have caught onto Suzu's vibes and strayed to the edge of the group during our conversations, and ask, "How about you, Mori?"

She smiles. "Sorry, Pendragon. I'm fine until lunch. I had some yogurt and a banana on the bus ride over here."

"On the bus?" Kotomi asks. "That's so brave!"

"Oh. Thanks? How so, exactly?"

"Eating a banana in public! I can never settle on the best direction to eat one without feeling like I'm trying to show everybody how I would suck a ****. Do you have any tips, Mori?"

Mori sighs in a surprisingly Takatoshi-like manner. "There's really no correct direction to look at while you're eating a banana. Just eat it."

"Kotomi," Takatoshi says sternly. "Stop being a dork."

"I'm not!"

Uomi hums. "You know, I've heard that the word dork originally referred to a whale's penis."

"Isn't a whale's penis supposed to be, like, ten feet long?" Kotomi then claps excitedly. "So, calling somebody a dork should be taken as a compliment! Thanks, Taka! You're so sweet."

"I'll make a mental note to refer to you as a dork every chance I get, then."

Kotomi chuckles nervously. "Well, you don't have to go overboard."

"Apparently, most species of large whale produce five gallons of semen each time they *********." Uomi's on something today.

"Is that why the sea is so salty?"

"Perhaps it is, Kotomi! So, if you dive head-first into the ocean, it's like you're getting a facial ***shot!"

"You're right, Sis! Hey, we should ask Shichijou if we could head back to her family's beach!"

"That's a wonderful idea!"

Kotomi places a hand to her chin and ponders. "So, if you drown in the ocean, it's like you've choked to death on a gallon of ***."

"That's the dream right there."

"Don't drink sea water," say the Grumblers.

"We know it's not safe for health reasons," says Uomi. "It's just that it's too tempting to at least put a mouthful of semen water in your mouth."

Suzu sighs. "The reason for the high sodium content in oceans is due to the mineral content of all the rocks around the world."

"There's no reason to be a party-pooper, my dear Suzu."

"I'm just stating the facts here, Uomi."

We reach the station and quickly meet up with Shino and Aria, who'd been waiting outside for only a couple of minutes. Pleasantries and gratitude for lunch are exchanged, but have to be cut short as our train is suddenly announced to be pulling in soon. Once it does, it'll sit there for a good thirty seconds, and the line here is so efficient that it wouldn't be too long of a wait for the next train, but we go through the ropes at double-time, anyway.

Kotomi gets the honor of being the unlucky person to have their IC card take longer than usual to read at the turnstile. We poke good fun at her from the other side, rushing her in dramatic fashion while pretending to leave her behind. The roars of our laughter only come out once she finally makes it through in a panic, just before that telltale hiss and screech of an aging locomotive at the top platform bids us to jog up most of the escalator.

With very few people around to accidentally run into on such a sleepy Sunday morning, we surrender ourselves to youthful enthusiasm and sprint across the platform into the nearest mostly empty train car. The doors close behind us, and the train takes off to the next station.

Laughing at the closeness of it all, we move to take some seats, but freeze at the unexpected sight of Ranko Hata staring into a tablet at the end of the car. She locks eyes with us and gasps, pressing the screen down to her lap and pretending to whistle while looking out the window.

"We're not in school yet," grumbles Suzu. "Should we do something, Prez?"

Shino sighs. "Even though we may not see her until tomorrow, we'd probably end up confronting her for the same reason as today, anyway. Might as well get it over with now." With that, we all follow her lead and approach an increasingly nervous-looking Hata.

"Why, hello there, everybody!" says Hata. She's all stutters. "Fancy seeing you here, of all places, on a Sunday morning!"

"Hey Hata," says Takatoshi. "Interestingly enough, we were about to say the same thing to you."

She sighs in defeat. "What are the odds we'd bump into each other on my way to the studio?"

"Studio?" asks Shino. "What studio?"

"Nothing! Nowhere! I mean, uh . . . my grandmother's studio apartment! That's what I meant, of course."

"You already know how this is going to play out, Hata," I say tiredly. "How about we just save ourselves some time and skip to the end where you confess to us what you were hiding so suspiciously just now. Then we can all go on with the rest of our day."

"Yeah," adds Shino. "As much as I hate to admit it, we're not on campus right now, so we can't confiscate anything you might have. Honestly, we'd only kind of like a heads-up for whatever mess of yours we'll be having to clean up this week."

Rather than growing more defensive, Hata seems to get eager. "You promise you won't confiscate anything?"

We all trade a look and nod solemnly. "Yes, Hata," says Suzu. "We promise."

"Excellent! Take a look at this." She shows us the screen of her tablet. It looks like Ousai is on the screen. However, it's in computer-generated graphics. What the hell? Is this a video game?

"What are we looking at Hata?" asks Takatoshi.

"Ousai Private Academy, of course! Except that it's in VN form."

"A visual novel?" ask the Pervs, growing giddy.

"Precisely!"

"Whoa-whoa!" Takatoshi holds up a hand. "It's based on our school?"

Hata nods. "It certainly is! In fact, it's based on our current student body, as well!" She presses the screen rapidly to progress the renders. The text boxes at the bottom pass too quickly to decipher them, but it's clear who's speaking each line. We see flashes of Shino blushing, Suzu yelling, Aria giggling, and Takatoshi simply staring into the camera. The dialogue is even voiced!

"You based this game on us?" Takatoshi and Suzu shout. However, they're both drowned out by Shino and Aria asking the same thing; louder and more excitedly.

"This has got to be against Japan's privacy laws," says Mori, leaning in to study the characters and audio. "You're using their voices and likenesses."

"Not technically, Miss Nozomi Mori from Eiryou High School, sophomore year! At least not yet. You see, I can't sell the footage I catch of you all without blurring your faces and modifying your voices to comply with privacy laws, so I've had to find a loophole. And I've finally found it! Under Fuyuki's local laws, there's still no restrictions for using any of your pixelized doppelgangers, and for training the hours of audio I've collected of you all on a voice-cloning program!"

"You figured out how to use AI technology?" cries Aria, clinging onto Hata's arm.

Shino wipes a tear from her eye. "You've lived as few girls have dared to dream."

The Grumblers groan. "Don't just ignore that first part."

"I'm so curious now," says Uomi. "Please, Hata. Show us more!" The Pervs cheer at that.

"I'd be happy to! Let's start with the character summaries. We haven't written the bios out yet, but each character page has a profile picture and a voice clip. Observe!"

Holy crap. There's Suzu. "If it bleeds, it breeds," not-Suzu says.

Kotomi looks confused. "That's definitely Suzu's face, and that's sort of her voice, but why does it sound like a robot?"

"We're still in the process of more completely training all these voices. The fact that you were able to identify it as Miss Hagimura's voice is promising, despite it being completely monotone. Although, we've still got a very long way to go before the AI cloning program can make it match the real thing."

"I see," says Shino. "Please, Hata. Continue!"

"Of course!"

There's Aria. Her robot voice says, "Every hole is a goal."

Now it's Shino. "I want you to stuff me like a Thanksgiving turkey."

Mutsumi's even there. "Can I walk you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams."

"Okay, that one's kind of sweet," I admit.

"Well, these kinds of games need an innocent love interest to thoroughly corrupt!" The Pervs praise Hata's comment, agreeing wholeheartedly. "But wait!" continues Hata. "In lieu of recent additions, we're ever-working on adding options all the time!"

Kaede? "You do not need a library card to check me out."

Kotomi! "I call mine a beaver because it is always looking for some wood."

Uomi. Of course. "Let us flip a coin. Tails, I am yours. Heads, you are mine."

Mori gasps upon seeing her likeness on the screen, her hands on her face out of shock. "Are my cheeks really that fat?" Or maybe not out of shock.

"If you let me borrow a kiss," says not-Mori, "I will pay you back with interest."

Nene? Surprising! "They say that over sixty percent of the human body is made out of water. Guess who is thirsty?"

And there's me. Though, something's way off. "Prepare yourself," says Not-Me. "I am about to explore Uranus."

"Is there a reason you gave me the extra-weird one? And why am I dressed like Anne Hathaway in Interstellar?"

"It's to make you stand out since you're going to be the first boss fight," says Hata.

Aria's eyes light up. "Boss fights in an adult visual novel? That's genius!"

"Who are the other bosses?" asks Shino. She's just as excited.

"We have two more!"

There's Miss Yokoshima, clad in fanciful succubus regalia. "Old enough to pee. Good enough for me."

Now it's Dejima on the screen. She's dressed in what I guess a dominatrix would wear if she turned warlord and started leading battalions. "Oh, my. I seem to have lost my virginity. Mind giving me yours?"

Aria quickly calls someone on her phone. "Miss Dejima? You're going to be famous!"

"So, who will our protagonist choose?" narrates Hata, IRL. "The sister-slammer routes? The forbidden adult-teenager romances? The council colleagues, the satellite interests, the confused androphobe, or the innocent girl just waiting to be defiled? Perhaps, all of them at once? It's up for the player to decide!" The screen then focuses on game-Takatoshi's face.

"Swiggity-swooty. I am coming for that booty."

Hata nods proudly at that before turning to Takatoshi. "So then, Mister Tsuda. As a member of the target audience for our upcoming chart-topper, what do you think so far?"

"I never thought I'd want something so . . . opposite of much."

Hata frowns at that, but lights up as the Pervs squeeze in with glee.

"Forget him!" cries Shino. "I'm going to play the shit out of this game!"

Aria, Uomi, and Kotomi are clapping. "Same!" they say.

"Yo! Tsuda!" We turn to see Takatoshi's friend, and recently appointed chief of our Film Club, Kenji Yanagimoto, entering the train at this stop alongside Chiri and Mutsumi. We all trade some quick greetings with each other before Mutsumi goes weak in the knees at the only guy on our side.

"I was hoping to see you today, Takatoshi!" she yelps. She then clears her throat before adopting a far more stoic stance, pointing like a drill sergeant. "I mean, we were hoping to see you!"

Chiri, a fellow Grumbler, scoffs playfully before muttering, "Smooth as sandpaper, Chief." That makes me chuckle. I keep forgetting that our clique's snark can be applied to not just the Pervs, but to Switzerland, as well. "Anyways, get over here, Vice President!" continues Chiri. "The Film Club and Judo want to run an idea by you before we talk to the Prez about it."

Takatoshi smiles at us apologetically, and we nod him away.

"You too, Kotomi!" says Mutsumi. "You're part of the Judo Club now! What are you hanging around the student council for?"

Kotomi gasps, her gaze shooting back and forth between them, and Hata's tablet. She claps her hands together in a begging gesture at them. "I promise I'll be with you in a minute! Sorry!"

Mutsumi and Chiri look at each other and laugh, confused. "Fine then, Kotomi," Mutsumi says playfully. "Just a minute, and nothing more! All right?" They then start speaking with Takatoshi and Kenji. With that, our attention returns to Hata and her tablet. Though, the motivations for doing so vary.

"Can you show us some gameplay, Hata?" asks Uomi.

"My apologies, but this current demo is limited in terms of playable content."

"What about H-Scenes, then?" Kotomi asks quickly. The other Pervs gasp in delight, nodding in agreement.

"That, I can accommodate. I have administrative rights for this build, so we can jump around to any scene that's currently available." Hata checkmarks an option that brings up a little progress bar on the screen which looks like the bottom of a YouTube video. "While I don't want to spoil too much, I can at least show you a few peeks here and there." Her finger drags along this bar, scrubbing through different stages of the game at full volume.

"Is your ***** growling at —"

"— boat is long, and hard, and full of seamen —"

"Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed —"

"— chicks with ****s —"

"Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?" Jeez, man. There's like twenty naked schoolgirls surrounding game-Takatoshi there.

"This scene's my favorite," says Hata. "If we can make it work, we're turning this whole reverse-gangbang into a High School Musical-type dance number." She then scrubs the timeline some more until we hear something very unusual. Well, unusual by comparison.

"Now, munch on my coochie . . ."

"That one's a placeholder," says Hata. "We're trying to keep to humorous dialogue only, so we'll swap it out when we get the chance to generate more voice files."

Mori tilts her head. "You know, I have to admit. That placeholder was pretty good for a voice cloned by AI."

"Yeah," Suzu adds, puzzled. "Didn't sound like a robot at all. There was an unusual amount of emotion in that whisper."

"A lot of emotion, actually," I say.

"It's because that soundbite was a direct recording," says Hata. At that, we all turn to Shino, since that was most definitely her voice saying that coochie line. Turns out Shino's gone completely pink in the face. None of us noticed till now.

"I-impossible! I'd never say something so ludicrously vulgar out loud!"

"Oh?" Hata pulls out a little handheld device. "Funny. I recorded that voice clip, and more, from inside the girls restroom last April Fool's Day. The voice came from the stall next to mine. At first, I thought there was a couple in there, but it turns out there was just one certain student council president who was really, really enjoying herself." She then hits the play button on her device. Instantly, we hear breathing. And faint sloshing.

"Tsu-u-u-u-d —" That's all that makes it out. The device gets literally pulled in half by an unknown strength summoned into Shino's hands.

"Somebody call me?" asks Takatoshi, walking back. He joins us in watching Shino gasp sharp enough to cut through steel before she ragdolls onto the floor. Poor girl. I think she's dead now. Rip.

Author's Note: Temporary AN. This chapter had been sitting in my drive for too long at about 75% completion, so I figured I'd finish and post it right before I finally dive into the Starfield early access tonight. Depending on whether Starfield sucks me in as much as the BG3 beta did, the next update for FateSYD might be awhile. I'm not losing my interest in FateSYD, though. The next big story arc, the Okinawa Trip, is little more than a handful of chapters away. I'm pretty excited to get started on it.

Shino's fine.