THIRTY NINE - MOTHER
They made it to the street that their hotel was on, just as they went to cross the road Rose accidentally knocked in to someone "oh I'm sorry Miss" she said, the other lady's head shot up, recognising the voice.
"Rose…" the lady said, almost questioning herself
"Mother?" Rose said shocked, her heart had dropped, if she hadn't had such a tight hold on Eliza she thought she may have dropped her. Jack noticed Rose looked as though she was about to be sick and grabbed her hand, reassuring her that he was there. "What the-" Ruth said in disgust as she processed that it was Jack with Rose "you… and him… but he's dead" "he doesn't look very dead to me" Rose glared at Ruth "can we talk? In private?" Ruth asked "I think it's best you leave us alone" Jack replied "I wasn't talking to you" Ruth snapped at him "it's OK Jack, you take them back to the hotel. I'll be back within the hour, OK?" She squeezed his hand "as long as you're sure?" He said, concern in his voice. Rose nodded "I won't be long, I promise" she kissed him and passed him Eliza.
"Let's go in here" Rose nodded to the diner right behind them "there?" Ruth's nose turned up "should we not go somewhere a little nicer?" "No, I want to be by the hotel. It's here or nowhere. The choice is yours" Rose snapped, already over her mothers behaviour. "Fine" Ruth sighed and walked in to the diner, sitting down they ordered a drink each.
"What brings you to Santa Monica?" Rose asked "just a little trip, I feel closer to your Father here, this was his favourite place" "I know" Rose replied, insulted, she probably knew more about her Father than her Mother did. "What about yourself?" Ruth asked "vacation also" Rose nodded.
"So, you and him?" Ruth asked referring to Jack. "Jack" Rose interrupted "you're a couple?" "Yes" Rose nodded "and the children?" Ruth raised an eyebrow "their Mother died during childbirth with Eliza, I'm helping him raise them" "so you're the nanny?" Ruth asked, raising an eyebrow "no" Rose said through gritted teeth "I'm their mother" "mother to children you've clearly known less than a year? I don't think so Rose" Ruth stifled a laugh "just know, they'll never be my grandchildren" Ruth said, to which Rose laughed, expecting nothing less from her mother "no, you're right, they won't be, they deserve far better than you as a grandparent. Goodness Mother, you aren't even a decent parent to your own daughter. Not in a million years would I let you near those children" Rose replied, no emotion in her voice "well, you'll never be their mother either… what do you know about being a parent Rose, really? You came from a background nothing like theirs. You don't know anything about their type of life. You're sure to mess it up and hurt them… face it, Rose, you weren't made to be a parent in that environment. You were made to be a parent in a rich environment with a wealthy husband" Ruth replied "whatever you say, Mother. Whatever you say. I'm leaving now and I would appreciate it if you bump in to us again before we leave, that you stay away from us" Rose stood up "good bye Mother" Rose said, just as she had on the Titanic when she refused to board the lifeboat.
—
Rose left the diner and crossed the road, back towards the hotel. Once she was out of sight of Ruth, who watched her leave, she shed a few tears. Was Ruth right? Was Rose incapable of being a good Mother? "you'll never be their Mother" kept going round and round in her head. She took a few moment to compose herself before going back in to the hotel room. "Hey" she smiled and whispered "Hi… how did it go?" Jack asked "oh you know, still the same old Ruth. Not someone I need in my life" "what did she say?" Jack asked as Rose got changed "nothing important" she smiled a little and climbed in to bed "did the kids get to bed OK?" She asked, trying to change the subject. He nodded "yeah, neither woke up" "good" she smiled "I'm really tired. Do you mind if I go to sleep?" Rose said "no, of course not. As long as you're OK?" He said to which she nodded "I'm fine. Goodnight, I love you… and thank you" she smiled gently. Jack looked at her confused "thank you?" "For always being there, looking after me no matter what. I love you and the children more than anything" she kissed him "well that's good, because we love you more than anything too" Jack smiled. She squeezed his hand then laid down, her back to Jack she shed a few tears before pretending to fall asleep.
When she was sure that Jack was fast asleep, she climbed out of bed as quietly as possible and got changed. She kissed Teddy and Eliza's head before kissing Jack as they all slept. She wiped her eyes, that were wet and red from crying and found a pen and a piece of paper and wrote a note
Jack,
I'm so sorry. I love you all.
- Rose
She put the note on the bedside table before grabbing her bag and left the room before leaving the hotel and heading to the station.
