Leah
I knew Sam's love for me was long gone. The panic that knowledge created found me trying desperately to hold on and do everything I could to show him I loved him. I woke up hours early every morning to have his truck ready, make his breakfast, and make sure he had everything he needed for the day. He never thanked me for these things, telling me they were what any wife should do for her husband. I yearned for the way things used to be, when we were partners and supported each other. It hadn't been that way for a long time.
Embry kept his distance at work. After finding out he and Seth both worked for the council, they both refused to speak about what their jobs were. The few times we had talked, Embry made it a point to mention the Cullens. I started to have a suspicion that the Cullens knew about their mysterious council job but short of accusing my best friend of keeping secrets, I couldn't be sure.
We were quickly approaching the date of the gala, and Rosalie had big plans for us. Or, Rosalie's sister did, anyway. Alice was a bit of a fashionista and she had been planning our outfits since the gala was announced. The entire Cullen family would be in attendance, which meant that Rosalie's brother Edward would be bringing his girlfriend along.
Rose hated Bella Swan, and my family hated that she was with Edward. I felt nothing but indifference towards her. Bella also worked as a nurse at the hospital, but kept her distance from Rose and I. My parents were good friends with her father Charlie, and Seth worked for him, so she occasionally was at our family dinners. My parents had strong opinions of Bella's relationship with Edward. Most of the council, and even Sam and his friends, didn't hide their hatred for her and her relationship with him. Thankfully, Sam was as unkind to her as he was to me, so we didn't share the same animosity that Emily and I did. Alice had left Bella out of our dress shopping plans, partially for Rosalie's sake, and also because of Bella's aversion to shopping.
I could tell that Bella didn't appreciate my presence with her new family. Before she had started dating Edward, he and I often accompanied each other to these kinds of events since Sam would rarely attend. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement, as men wouldn't approach me and women wouldn't approach him. He often told me that I exude the same type of energy as Rosalie, making me seem intimidating, powerful, and unapproachable. Edward had a way with words. Most often, people just told me I had resting bitch face or left me alone entirely.
Esme, Rose's mom, was like a second mother to me. I had a poor relationship with my mother in law. I always had, even when things were good between Sam and I. She was bitter since her husband left her, and nothing anyone said or did was good enough to console her. Sam was upset over the loss of his father too, but he didn't take it out on everyone the way his mother did. Esme had filled the void for me that my mother in law left in my life. She could have been great for Sam too, if only he'd let her.
Rosalie's husband Emmett reminded me of Seth. We would banter and bicker with each other constantly, but that was how he showed his love. I knew that Emmett, like Seth, knew more than he let on.
I found myself in Port Angeles at a dress shop days before the gala with Rosalie, Alice, Esme, and Emmett. Emmett was the only one of the men that would come along to things like this. Alice often urged her husband Jasper to, but he never would if I was tagging along. I would have been offended if he didn't treat everyone outside of his immediate family the same way. Rosalie told me many times that Jasper was probably the family member she was closest to, but from the outside looking in it seemed that he kept himself distanced from everyone but Alice. I wondered what he was like when I wasn't around.
Alice had preordered dresses for Bella and herself, but that didn't keep her from shopping alongside us. Emmett was even shopping, but Rosalie vetoed all of his suggestions. I agreed to try on anything he handed me to humor him. The sales associate led us to a private room with a few dressing stalls where we could come out and model the dresses for her and Emmett to see. Esme was content with the first dress Alice had given her to try on. It was a simple, one shoulder lavender silk dress. The simplicity of the dress didn't take away from it's elegance. She quickly changed out of it and let the sales associate know that she would need a lavender tie in the same silk material for Carlisle to wear.
Alice bought herself about ten different options. She had dresses of all kinds of materials, lengths, colors, and styles. I mostly ignored her suggestions on these trips, because she seemed to love everything she touched. It was hard to trust the taste of someone that couldn't make up her mind.
I was surprised to find that a dress Emmett had chosen for me was my favorite. It was a long black chiffon dress with a gold accented belt just below my chest. It was stunning, and I felt breathtakingly beautiful in it. Emmett catcalled when I stepped out of the room, and Alice squealed. Esme's nod of approval was what I was actually looking for, and I knew this one was it.
Rosalie chose a sexy red number for herself. It had a sweetheart neckline, off the shoulder sleeves, and a high slit. I wouldn't have personally chosen it for a charity gala, but Rosalie was able to pull it off while maintaining her sophistication. Carlisle was also the largest donor for the charity the gala was supporting, so the normal rules of conduct didn't apply to us. It felt odd to be grouped in with a family that many in my tribe seemed to hate, but the Cullens were my family.
I didn't see the dress that Alice had picked for Bella, but I was sure it would be over the top. Esme grabbed a simple navy blue dress while Alice was shopping for shoes, and I assumed that would be the one Bella actually wore.
I didn't want to buy shoes, knowing how expensive they are and that the Cullens would be footing the bill, but Alice insisted so I sat next to Rosalie while her pixie like sister brought us countless boxes of shoes to try on. Rosalie and I wore the same size and she had a full closet, so there was no need for this purchase, but it wasn't wise to argue with Alice. The sales associate brought us champagne to sip while we waited. Rosalie didn't drink, so she offered her glass to me.
"I'm assuming the mutt won't be attending the gala with us?" Rosalie asked. I wasn't sure why she called Sam that, but I didn't argue. I wasn't sure what names I'd choose for Emmett if he was treating my best friend the way Sam treated me.
I shook my head. "Of course not. You know better." I took a sip of my champagne. The only plus side to my infertility was that I could drink without worrying. I hadn't been able to drink for years while we were trying to conceive, just in case.
She smiled darkly. "That's okay. Embry will be riding with us, I thought maybe the two of you could go together."
I choked on the champagne and Emmett laughed at me. "I don't think that's the best idea." I told her.
"Sure it is!" Emmett responded. "I've heard Embry is like, so totally hot."
Emmett often made comments like that to get me to laugh. He always said I was too gloomy. I didn't mean to be, because being with the Cullens was when I was happiest, but it was also the only time I could relax. I didn't have enough energy to feign a positive spirit like Alice.
"Have you also heard that I'm like so totally married?"
He rolled his eyes. "I've also heard that your husband is like, a total dick."
I glared at Rosalie and she shrugged her shoulders. "Don't look at me. I haven't said anything, but I can't help that other people have eyes and ears. Sam is never around and when he is he doesn't make an effort to be pleasant. Anyone would pick up on it."
She was right, but I didn't dignify her comment with a response. They both dropped the subject of Embry and I finished both glasses of champagne. Esme and Alice gave me theirs too, and I felt pretty good after all four were gone.
I had to admit I was sad when we checked out and left to go back to Forks. I always dreaded going home after the time I spent with the Cullens. Sam was especially cruel after I'd been with them.
I still felt buzzed when we got back to Forks, so I called Seth for a ride home and left my car at the hospital.
Seth was kind about it, unlike the reaction I'd get from Sam. He didn't speak as we drove, but when we got to my house my fear was visible.
Paul Lahote, Sam's best friend, was there. I saw his truck in the driveway and dreaded getting out of Seth's crusier. Sam had no qualms about being terrible to me with Paul around.
"You don't have to go in, you know." Seth said softly. "I know how Paul is. You can stay at my house tonight, LeeLee."
I wanted to take Seth up on his offer. I would've loved to spend the night in the safety of my brother's house, or even with Rosalie, but if Sam thought I was telling anyone how things between us really were it would just make it harder on me when I did come back home. Seth had snapped at him once and I caught hell for it.
"Are you having marital issues, Lee?" Seth asked me.
We'd been painting the guest bedroom. I didn't tell him I was moving into it, and I sort of wasn't. All of my stuff would stay in Sam's room, I'd just be sleeping in this bed now.
I chuckled at Seth. "Of course not, Sethy. Just felt like putting a fresh set of paint on these crusty walls."
He laughed too. "The old color was pretty gross. This will look a lot better."
We painted for about ten more minutes before I heard my front door open and slam shut. Sam never came home in the middle of the workday unless something was horribly wrong. I hoped I could catch him and tell him Seth was here, but I wasn't quick enough. I didn't want to sling paint everywhere so I laid my brush down gently and that gave him enough time to scream.
"Leah, where the fuck are you?" Sam bellowed.
Seth's car was in Jacob Black's shop, so I'd picked him up and brought him here. I started to walk out to the living room alone, but Seth followed me.
"She was painting with me." Seth snapped. "Is there a problem?"
Sam looked furious but his expression softened and he exhaled loudly when he saw me. "Oh thank god you're okay, Leah. I heard there was an accident in Forks and the vehicle description matched your car. I apologize for yelling, Seth, I was just worried."
Sam didn't know that Seth was training with the PD in Forks yet. He hadn't told anyone except for me. I knew he'd find out Sam lied, but he played it off like he believed him.
"Can you follow me out, Lee?" Sam asked sweetly. Except, I heard the hint of acid in his tone.
I didn't object. Not in front of Seth. Paul was standing arms crossed by Sam's truck, smirking at me.
Sam released my hand and instead grabbed my arm so tightly I knew it would bruise.
"Do not ever bring anyone in my house without telling me." Sam barked at me. "Seth doesn't need to hear what goes on between a husband and wife."
"But Paul does?" I quipped back. My mouth had gotten me in trouble with Sam more than a few times, but mostly when it came to my brother.
Paul laughed. "I can't wait for him to get home tonight."
Paul climbed back in the truck and Sam leaned in and whispered in my ear. "This isn't over, Leah. I'll see you tonight. Make sure Seth gets home soon."
That night was one of the worst of my life. I still have nightmares about the way Sam and Paul berated me and pushed me around. They were both furious at the idea of Seth finding out how Sam really was.
Paul's wife was actually one of my close friends growing up, but she was oblivious to the kind of sick bastard her husband really was. Rachel was always kind to me when she was around, and Sam put his act on for her too, but it was easiest for me to just keep my distance from her. Keeping her away meant seeing Paul less, and that was the goal. I knew he was really good to her, so that part brought me some solace.
"I'll be okay, Sethy." I assured him.
He didn't look reassured, but he didn't argue. I grabbed my purse from his floorboard and walked inside. I'd left my dress with Rosalie, because I knew Sam would complain about the smell. I didn't understand how he could smell her. Was it her perfume? Her shampoo? She didn't have a strong 'scent' to me.
As soon as I walked in the door I regretted my decision. Paul turned up his nose as soon as the door shut behind me.
"Jesus, Leah, you fucking stink. Been hanging out with the Cullens?" He scoffed.
I didn't respond, but Sam's icy glare told me he knew. I hadn't told him I was, but I rarely communicated my plans to him anymore.
Paul walked closer to me and sniffed loudly. "Smells drunk too. Did they take you to a damn bar?"
I rolled my eyes. I hadn't ever been to a bar before, and Paul knew I wouldn't have gone to one now.
"Not that it's any of your damn business, but I was at a high end dress shop. They had complimentary champagne." I turned to hang my coat on the rack and I felt Sam grab my wrist from behind. I struggled and he tightened his grip. I could feel my bone snapping, but he wouldn't let go.
"Do not ever show up to my house drunk and disrespect a guest again, Leah." He growled in my ear. "It won't end well for you."
He dropped my wrist and I hugged it to my chest. It was already starting to swell. Paul was smirking at me, and I rushed back to my room. I didn't want to cry myself to sleep in this room again. I packed a backpack with a few essentials- clothes for work, phone charger, toothbrush, a book. Sam came in while I was packing and I dropped the bag out of my hands.
"Going somewhere?" He asked.
I shook my head. "I was just going to go to Seth's, but I can stay here-"
"You're damn right you'll stay here. Your brother doesn't need to know what goes on in our private life, I thought I made that clear to you before."
"I wasn't going to tell him, Sam." I insisted. "My car is in Forks, it would be easier for him to take me to the hospital tomorrow on his way to work if I was already at his house."
Sam threw his hands up. "You know what? Fine. Do whatever you want, I don't give a shit anymore."
Tears flowed down my cheeks as I reached for him. "Sam, really, I'm sorry. I love you, I didn't mean to upset you. Paul just really gets under my skin."
I tried really hard to keep a brave face when Sam was hurting me, but sometimes when it got really bad like it had tonight I slipped. I hated crying in front of him. I felt weak. Tonight, though, I was overwhelmed. He'd snapped my wrist like it was a small twig and didn't want me to go to Seth's house. I couldn't handle another night with him and Paul right now.
He sighed when he saw my tears and pulled me close to him. I wasn't the kind of girl that could turn on the tears. They were genuine, and he knew it. All of my insecurities melted away when he held me. I could live in his embrace if he'd let me. "I know, Leah. I love you, I'm just not the same man I used to be. I don't mean to be so angry all the time. I wish I could explain it to you, but I can't."
These glimpses of the man I used to know were what I lived for these days.
"I understand, Sam." I told him. I did understand why he was different. The trauma we went through together would be a lot for anyone, and I couldn't fault him for how it changed him. I just wished he could see me as an ally instead of his enemy.
He pressed his lips to my forehead. "I can take you over to Seth's house if you want. He's probably back in Forks by now. Paul was planning to stay and watch the game."
I knew the kind Sam wouldn't be here long, but I was determined to take advantage of it while I could. I shook my head. "That's okay, I'll stay. I can cook for you guys. Did he invite Rachel?"
Sam smiled at me. "No, but we can call her."
Rachel came over and for the first time in a long time my house felt like my home again. I showered and changed clothes before she got there so I wouldn't smell like Rosalie, and Sam was affectionate and loving the way he used to be when we were teenagers all night. Paul was even nice to me, though I knew it was only because Rach was there.
I didn't sleep in the guest room that night. I slept in my husband's arms and thanked the spirits for bringing him back to me, even if it was just for one night.
