Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto-sensei, who's been going rather senile lately.
Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Itachi/Sasuke, Kiba/Naruto, and possibly others.
Warnings: Yaoi, Incest, foul language, explicit sexual situations, underage smoking and drinking. You should already guess what's coming. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. Thank you.
Chapter One
Naruto's POV
It was just a day like any other – the sun was shining brightly, and the birds chirped happily whilst flying in the skies above.
Single girls would say that it was a perfect day for going out on a date with someone, while girls that actually had someone to go out with would instead be somewhere pretty and convenient, and promptly turn it into the perfect romantic spot to make out with their better halves until their tongues became numb.
It was kind of sickening how people always tended to relate pretty things and good weather conditions to romance. 'Love' doesn't have to be romantic. Romantic things shouldn't be premeditated. People shouldn't expect anything from romance apart from the feeling of being in love.
However, girls - no matter how much they pretended to be mature or how many times they said they didn't care about frivolous things - always ended up wanting to do stupid, mushy stuff like candlelight dinners, holding hands in public and for a guy to openly do and say embarrassing shit to her in front of their friends. They wanted to make love in satin sheets covered by rose petals with soft music playing in the background and many, never-ending moments of passionate monologues about how beautiful they were while staring into each other's eyes.
No matter what they said, girls always expected for a guy to be her most wanted prince charming.
These were things that annoyed the hell out of me back then, and things that I openly complained about to anyone who might or might not want to hear.
Girls' attitudes really bothered me sometimes despite how much I loved them and thought they were unbearably cute.
Still, even though I understood Uchiha Sasuke's own personal annoyance towards the girls he chose to date, I was pretty damn pissed off that, on a wonderful day like that, he just had to go and break up with our mutual friend like they hadn't dated at all for the last three months.
To make it worse, the bastard had the audacity of acting as if it was just another boring day of his goddamn boring life, ordering a fucking huge menu at McDonald's, saying he was 'abnormally famished'.
I decided to ignore the fact that the rest of the guys from our group gave minor importance to the issue that was currently making my nerves boil – after all, they had secretly bet that bastard Uchiha and Sakura-chan wouldn't last a month, let alone three.
It wasn't just the fact that I had dated Sakura-chan for a while two years previously – and still had tiniest crush on her – but also the fact that Sasuke stayed with her for so long out of pity because she was his friend; therefore, in his perspective, she deserved more from him than all the previous idiotic little things that had asked him out before her.
I bet he thought he was being kind and charitable. Yeah, right. If he didn't like her that way, he shouldn't have accepted her confession in the first place.
Yeah, pretend that she hasn't loved you for longer than you've known she's existed.
Fucking asshole.
There were eight of us sitting at the largest set of tables near the window and everybody was either eating or chatting loudly about the usual topics every seventeen-year-old boy wanted (or not) to approach: teachers, girls, sex, exams, games, movies, music or sports.
The topic changed constantly above the noise of French Fries being snatched and burgers being unwrapped, but I remained unusually quiet, completely forgetting the habit of exhilaratingly enjoying that time of the day when school was finally over and we were all able to just sit back and hang out before going home.
Instead, I slurped loudly on my drink while staring daggers at the guy across from me, who was also silent – unlike me, that was totally his thing – and acted as if he was alone instead of surrounded by a group of boisterous guys.
I watched him attentively, feeling my chest tight with anger. I had already given him a piece of my mind earlier after Sakura-chan had borrowed my shoulder to cry, but somehow, his relaxed attitude was really getting on my nerves.
Despite having been friends for ten years already and because both our families got along well, there were still a lot of things about him that frustrated me to no end, so we kind of clashed on occasion.
I knew Sasuke probably thought the same thing about me, but still, we were relatively close, we hung out with the same group of people, and still tolerated each other's company more often than we wanted for the sake of our families, even when we didn't see eye to eye. It was kind of hard to avoid him considering his parents' bookstore was right across from my parents' own comic bookstore. We had run our business longer than they had theirs, and there was always a bit of rivalry there, but nothing that deeply disturbed the peace or ruined that constantly blossoming friendship between both families.
Well, to tell the truth, the chemistry had been born from the start between our mothers, but eventually our fathers had managed to get along well, and my mom had developed a healthy and yet disturbing crush on Itachi, Sasuke's at the time 22-year-old big brother who had attended some acting school in Tokyo and had recently become a newly famous young actor.
By then, I was just glad that I had stopped being forced to go on those joined vacations since Sasuke had started spending every holiday we had with his brother. That, and the fact that Sasuke was now a sort of famous clothing catalogue model and most wanted and needed in the big city. He claimed he wanted to try out his thing at acting as well, and I was sure he'd pull it off if Itachi pulled a few strings. Even if he didn't, I was sure Sasuke would thrive based on his looks alone.
Not that I'd tell him that.
One of the reasons why I was happy about our occasional distance was the fact that, despite how many times Sasuke and myself had insulted each other and actually engaged in some serious fist fighting over the years, I didn't exactly dislike him as much as told him I did, even if he did, truly and honestly, piss the hell out of me most of the times.
Not that I would ever admit it, of course.
But all in all, I can't say that we weren't good friends. We had each other's backs. We trusted each other and helped each other out when necessary. Without a doubt, we were like family, so we both knew we could rely on each other. He was an asshole, but a brutally honest one, much like me. Maybe that was the reason why certain attitudes got to me more than they probably should - because maybe I always expected more of him.
Uchiha Sasuke was the kind of person girls fawned all over and guys wanted to be friends with. He was attractive, smart and good at everything he did, mostly because he worked hard to achieve his goals. He had the personality of someone who either thought they were better than anyone else or just simply didn't give a shit. I prefer to believe the second option to be true, but maybe that would just mean he was an even bigger asshole.
He was the kind of guy that attracted people to him without doing anything at all. I suppose we were similar in that aspect.
Every single day I was confronted with the reality of why that happened. Being in his circle of friends certainly made the mysterious magic about him disappear and turn him into one of us stupid and rather reckless teenagers rather than some higher entity.
Still, sometimes he smiled and unwillingly released his magical fairy powder that somehow charmed us all – he was so serious most of the times that in the rare occasions he did smile it seemed like the world stopped and he became someone completely different, and somehow, infuriatingly more attractive.
Sometimes, he would burp like the rest of us dirty pigs and stuff his face with the worst kinds of foods. Sometimes, he would go out with us and get trashed and pretend like he was an idiot like Kiba and I. Sometimes, he would help us with homework. Sometimes, he was a decent guy.
Just… it was such a shame that it was just sometimes.
"Girls are a hassle," Kiba was saying loudly beside me, waving his burger in front of his face as if he was giving us some big intellectual speech. "No matter how cute, hot, rich or smart they are, they all end up dreaming about something completely different from what we really are."
"Dat's fo true…" Chouji agreed sadly beside him, mouth full of chicken nuggets.
"Nah, Kiba; you're only saying that because girls can't stand your ugly mug," Suigetsu, who was at the end of table remarked with a vicious smile while leaning forward to peek at him.
"Shut your trap, you knife freak!" Kiba drawled, giving him the finger and making the other laugh.
"Is that what Sakura-chan did, Sasuke?" I asked with annoyance, still frowning deeply at said guy. "Expected you to be her prince charming?"
Sasuke's eyes were the darkest, most indistinguishable color ever. They were beautiful in a harsh, knowing kind of way that effectively concealed his thoughts and emotions perfectly, and yet, made it possible for us to see his brain constantly working to make the right move. He reminded me of the poker players one saw on TV: calculating, careful and meticulous.
This side of him made him look a lot like his older brother, too.
"Let me put it this way," he said nonchalantly, while pale and elegant fingers worked in un-wrapping his burger calmly. "My problem with girls revolves around the fact that once I start dating them, they spend too much time trying. They try to look beautiful and perfect. They try to be interesting; they try to be sexy. They build these ideas that I like shit I have no idea where they heard it from and work themselves to death to model after what they think I want."
"I don't really think that's bad at all," Kiba intervened, grinning.
"I kind of get the idea they become prototypes of some sort," Shikamaru drawled lazily from beside him, dipping two fries inside the small ketchup recipient.
"Something like that." Sasuke shrugged indifferently. "Instead of getting to know each other, I am constantly listening to 'Sasuke-kun, do I look pretty? Do you like my dress? I heard you like high heels. There's this really romantic place we should totally go to. I baked you some cookies. You should meet my parents. Let's hold hands. Why don't you hug me more often?'"
Sasuke shook his head tiredly, causing his bangs to shade his features slightly. Then, he used his wrist to push them back. "They try so hard to be fucking perfect it's annoying and I don't get to know them at all. And then there's the starvation for affection as if they need fucking physical contact to feel reassured that we're a couple. As if the fact that I said 'yeah, I'll date you' isn't reassurance enough."
"If you weren't such a fucking ice block I'm sure they wouldn't feel the need to try to make you look at them!" I accused, crossing my arms over my chest and receiving a cold glare from him in return.
"You're one to talk about relationships," he snapped. "You're the most unsatisfied person I've ever met!"
"He's got a point," Kiba pointed out, nodding seriously.
"He does not!" I yelled, eyeing my best friend with disbelief.
"You're always going on about how the people you date lack sense of humor and how they can't keep up with your pace in life," Sasuke retorted, setting down his burger and roughly picking up a napkin from his tray to clean his hands with.
"And in bed," Shino, who had been silent since we left school, intervened, sounding as if he was saying something deeply philosophical in his deep voice.
"That's got nothing to do with anything," I muttered, feeling upset at the fact that everyone seemed to be taking the bastard's side. "I just haven't met the right person yet, but no one sees me dating everything that walks in our school."
"I don't do that," Sasuke defended, mimicking me and crossing his arms with a defiant look. "I am selective in my choice of partners."
"What was wrong with Sakura-chan, anyway?" I growled, feeling more frustrated by the minute.
"There was nothing wrong with her; the relationship was lacking chemistry on my part," Sasuke said, with a shrug of his shoulders.
"No chemistry?" Kiba laughed so loudly my ears rang unpleasantly. "Are you frigid or something, Uchiha? Sakura's, like, one of the hottest and smartest chicks in our school! What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Maybe she's a lousy lay?" Suigetsu suggested, still smiling with those sharp teeth showing. Urgh, how could that weirdo be Sasuke's right hand man? Seriously, he was the most freakish guy in the world. "I mean, Sasuke is so not frigid. Karin told me stuff of when they were dating, and the stuff they used to…"
"Say one more word, Suigetsu, and I'll shove my wrist down your throat," Sasuke threatened coldly, a very small blush coloring his attractive features in anger. Silently, I agreed with him because listening to details about Karin - my cousin's - sex life, was not something I wanted.
"Aww, you're all talk and no bite, man."
"Can we please stop talking about unnecessary things?" Juugo muttered with a soft sigh. Shikamaru all but nodded his agreement.
"Now that I'm thinking about it, what was your sexual orientation again?" Chouji asked me in a thoughtful way.
"He's pansexual," Sasuke drawled, almost in a boring way.
I turned my head towards him when he said this, partially out of surprise since he was the last person I'd ever think would remember the correct term for my so-called 'situation'. I had only come out to my close friends about it the previous year, I couldn't expect such a complicated term to have stuck with them. Then again, Sasuke seemed to absorb information like a sponge, it shouldn't be so surprising coming from him, and yet, it was.
"Ah, yeah…" I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck.
"What the hell is that?" Suigetsu asked, looking positively confused.
"It means he's attracted to a person as an individual rather than the gender, or their sexuality or something like that," Shikamaru explained simply, looking at Suigetsu reproachfully. "Go get some culture, you."
"It's like being bisexual, then?" The other said while frowning and biting on the straw of his drink.
"No, man; it means he's attracted to a person's personality rather than the way they look," said Kiba, grinning at me as though he was the smartest person alive. "The person can be a guy, a girl, a transsexual or a hermaphrodite or whatever, really. It's all about… well, whatever floats his boat I guess."
"Just for the record, and to keep it simple, I like people in general," I defended, too loud for my own comfort, but at least managing to say it confidently.
"Didn't you date a transvestite once?" Sasuke asked, smirking. The bastard was fucking teasing me. He just had to be so happy that the drama was all focused on me now.
I made an outraged sound with my nose. "Haku was not a transvestite! He was just a very pretty guy," I said, sticking out my tongue to him. "He had fine taste in fashion, mind you; plus, he was prettier than you, and probably a lot better lay too."
"He still had a dick," Kiba joked, good-naturedly enough for me to not feel offended. Everyone snickered at that as his arm surrounded my shoulders playfully.
"His dick didn't bother me in the slightest." I tried to shrug Kiba off, but he wouldn't let go.
"You still like diiiiick," Kiba chanted happily, making me roll my eyes, which wasn't something I did often.
"He was by far the best person I've ever been with, but that goddamned old man just had to steal him away…"
Sasuke was looking at me with evident amusement now. Having regained his appetite, he was now nibbling on his fries. "You're still into that guy?" he questioned, tilting his head to the side. With my eyes narrowed, I watched him as he brought a couple more fries to his mouth.
"No, but I'm still into that chick you just dumped, asshole."
Sasuke's smirk became challenging. "You can have her all to yourself, then."
"It doesn't work like that, and she doesn't like me that way, so it's useless."
"Then leave me and my love life alone, you idiot," he retorted.
"I just don't like the carefree way you're dealing with this, or the way you talk about her!" I snapped.
"What the fuck do you want me to…?"
"Dude… you have some serious issues!" Suigetsu interrupted, chuckling exuberantly at us.
"I don't have issues!" I fumed, throwing my hands up in the air and consequently managing to get Kiba off me. "What is it with you people and my sex life, anyway?"
"When someone as required as Sasuke and yourself can't seem to get serious with anybody, it's only natural that people would want to talk about it," Shikamaru muttered, eyeing the both of us with a small thoughtful pout. "There has to be something terribly wrong with the two of you."
"They should just date each other, then."
Our table – which had been previously roaring with conversation, laughter and all kinds of weird exhilaration sounds – was struck with a knife cutting silence at Juugo's innocent and un-reflected words.
All eyes turned to the biggest guy in our table with a speed that matched the one of electricity itself. Juugo eyed us all with an inquisitive look as if he didn't understand our reactions at all.
I felt the blood quickly draining from my cheeks. I didn't look at Sasuke because I was too dumbfounded to do so, but I assumed that he was as tense as we all were, and his chin had probably fallen like mine.
Slowly, but consistently, everyone's gaze shifted from Juugo to us, and Sasuke and I shivered in horror at the same time.
I turned my head to look at Sasuke and noticed him already looking back with the same awe I felt.
"That…" Suigetsu whispered as though he had just made a brilliant discovery. "Has got to be the best fucking idea anyone has ever had."
TBC…
