Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various and sundry characters from Kim Possible are owned by Disney the great and powerful. All the original characters aren't. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
"I Fought the Law" was written by Sonny Curtis, the man who replaced Buddy Holly with The Crickets after the day the music died. They recorded it in 1959. The song languished until 1964 when the cover by The Bobby Fuller Four cracked the top ten.
I Fought the Law, and the Law Won
Kim awakened to the feel of Shego's arm over her. The redhead wasn't sure if the older woman was awake or sleep, but enjoyed the sense of comfort. She kept her eyes closed and didn't move, preserving the moment for as long as she could.
Did it make sense to ask Shego to move in? She'd never had a successful relationship. Was she overly optimistic to believe it was possible now – or was she simply desperate? Maybe Shego was right, don't assume anything and be very cautious in the relationship. Assuming a relationship even existed. But where was the fun in that? Caution didn't bring you love. Throwing yourself at another person and praying they'd romantically catch you had no better a chance of success. And maybe that was why Kim had never had a successful relationship.
A change in Shego's breathing told Kim the pale woman was awake. "Morning beautiful," chirped Kim. "How ya feeling? Still sore, or did my magic fingers leave you miraculously restored?" She quickly turned and gave Shego a kiss.
Shego yawned widely before admitting, "I'm feeling a lot better. But I want to give the credit to my healing ability."
"None to me?" Kim pouted.
"Fine. I'll let your massage share equal credit with my healing ability. You said you had some more administrative shit to do today?"
"Yeah, but not immediately. Late morning to early afternoon. This morning we need a name and phone number for you so you can take that job."
"The job hasn't been offered yet."
"It will be."
Shego closed her eyes and sighed. "Okay, Princess, what color is the sky in your wonderful kingdom? And it never rains on weekends, right? Let's see how many ways what you want is impossible to do this morning. First, a legal name change requires a judge and–"
"You're going for legal?"
"Hoping it provides some safety for my family's identity. And you can't just waltz into the courthouse at nine to make the request and tango out five minutes later with everything being done."
"But we can pick you name now and get you a phone! Legalize the name later."
"We can pick a name for me? And they probably want a billing address, which I don't have."
"Use this address."
"We don't know how long I'm staying here. And payment method, which I haven't set up."
"Use my credit card."
Shego growled softy in the back of her throat. "Your address? Your credit card?"
"You'll pay me back."
"I'm a thief, remember?"
"You were a thief. And now you're a free woman. You're going to do the name change legal and everything. I'm just helping you to get back on your feet."
"And on top of you in bed?"
"I'm figuring half the time I'm on top... Unless we find a position we both really, really like. Now, new name? Have one you picked out? I have some suggestions for you."
"I'm a big girl. I can pick my own name."
"I'll let you pick a first name. Do you have one?"
"I thinking Sierra. And while I have no attention of accepting your suggestion, what is it? And if it's Possible, or Stoppable, or Green I'll slug you."
"Knight. Sierra Knight."
"N-i-g-h-t or K-n-i-g-h-t?
"With a K, of course."
"Is this some kind romantic knight coming to your rescue thing?"
Kim shrugged. "If the shoe fits." Kim admitted, "Maybe. But it'd be a good name."
"The shoe doesn't fit," snarled Shego. "What's wrong with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're too damn nice. Something is wrong – this isn't you... Not the real you anyway."
"Of course I'm me. And you can't be too nice."
"You can be and you are."
Kim was silent for a minute in thought. "Am I sounding desperate?"
"Desperate. Beyond desperate. It's creeping me out. I'm feeling like you have to be setting me up for something."
"I told you I've never had a serious relationship!"
"Which I'm having a little trouble believing. You've got too much going for you to settle for me! And even if you're telling the truth and not setting me up you're going to go into some class next week, Over-Billing Clients 101 or something, and meet some brilliant, funny law student and toss me out on my ass."
"I am not settling for you!"
"So, you admit you're setting me up?"
Kim threw up her hands in disgust, "Now you're just being difficult on purpose! I'm not settling for you. I happen to think you're great! And I believe the two of us could have a relationship, a real relationship."
"You say that now. But when you meet Ms Wonderful?"
"I never knew you were such a coward! If you can't believe I might be interested in you, why are you here?"
"To get away from family. I don't have a lot of options. And sex with you in Athens was great."
"That's all it was, sex? You really couldn't have found other options? You're a coward!"
"I'm not a coward!"
"You're afraid of getting hurt!"
"You can do a hell of a lot better than me!"
The two women glared at each other for minute. Kim broke the silence with a sigh. "I really think we could make it work. It won't work if that's going to be your attitude."
"I... I'm sorry. This doesn't seem real to me."
"You really think I could find someone more wonderful than you?"
"I find it hard to image anyone who isn't more wonderful."
Kim wrapped her arms around the older woman and held her tight. "How about six months? Will you commit to six months? I promise not to throw you out for Ms Wonderful and you accept that I want you here."
"Six weeks."
"Not long enough to give us a chance."
"It's a month and a half!"
"Three months."
"Three? That's–"
"Long enough to get your name change, a phone, and a credit card in your name. Then you can move out – if you want. Or we can decide it's working great... Or at least working okay. And it'll keep getting better if we stay together."
"Optimist!"
"Pessimist!"
The green woman blinked first, "Okay." "I need a place to stay," she told herself. She held out her hand, "But you start leaving the toilet seat up and I'm outa here."
Kim grinned and shook on the deal. "Did you get to the grocery yesterday? What's for breakfast?"
"Yogurt and fruit. You wanted a trainer."
In the morning they were able to get a cell phone for "Sierra Knight." Shego picked out the cheapest smart phone available and declined Kim's suggestion they go with a family plan. Before Kim left for yet another orientation session they picked up the forms required to request a change of names. While Kim listened to a third year law student drone on about details the redhead already knew Shego began filling out the petition for a legal change of name."Holy Shit, this is way more complicated... It'll take nine months at least to..." Shego stopped working on the form to look up the phone number for Legal Aid. "Maybe there's a special dispensation for ex-heroes, who've spent time in jail, and want to protect their families legal identity. This publishing requirement just screams somebody bomb Team Go's family." She managed to get an appointment the next day.
After a late lunch and looking for a cheap set of cookware and dishes for the apartment the two put on workout clothes.
Dennis Plavets gritted his teeth as Shego reached for her ID card, "I, uh, remember you from yesterday."
"She's got a name now," Kim chirped, "and a phone number."
"I do not have a name yet. Not a legal name until the judge signs off," Shego reminded her.
"She knows what her name will be, and she has a phone number!"
Plavets recorded the information before passing it off to the gym manager, who scowled blackly at the note and briefly considered throwing it in the trash before putting it in the mail slot for Coach Miller, who clearly must not know what he was doing. "Two silver Olympic medals don't prove you have a brain," Ms Krakow thought. But she had enough sense to know it might be a very bad idea to throw out the information.
After about an hour in the gym Kim and Shego left for dinner. "Gawd, Princess. I should go back to crime."
"Huh?"
"You were the only one who could stop me, and you're out of shape!"
"Then I'd better work hard to get back in shape these next three months."
"If I start my crime spree tomorrow–"
"You'd be breaking your promise to behave for at least six months."
"I promised three."
"See, you remember your promise. Now, what sounds good?"
"Buffalo wings! I haven't had Buffalo wings in years!"
"That's healthy eating?"
"Anything's okay, as long as you don't overdo."
"I like your attitude," smiled Kim. "And you said you'd tell me how you stayed in such good shape in prison."
They sat across from each other in a dark-stained wood booth. They ordered a large bowl of chicken wings to share, an iced tea, and an IPA.
Kim raised an eyebrow as the waiter left, "Beer is health food?"
"Anything in moderation, remember. A good IPA is something I haven't had since prison either."
"Does your prison tale begin once upon a time?"
"No. Two fundamental facts. You have a lot of time to exercise in prison, and you damn well should. Prison is a dangerous place."
"Even for you?"
"For anyone. Period. And, to add even more to the excitement, two women Team Go captured were in the same prison."
"And they were both out for revenge?"
Shego shrugged, "Nosey not so much, but–"
"Nosey?"
"I'll get to her in a minute. There are gangs for protection. They call it protection, or maybe intimidation. Take the last pudding cup, that a member of the gang wanted for herself, and you may be stomped in the prison yard for disrespecting the gang. Fer-de-lance may be the worst psycho bitch Team Go ever faced. She wasn't the head of a gang, but she was a high lieutenant. I didn't bother learning a lot of names, they called the head of the gang Momma. Fer-de-lance had Momma send some muscle to teach me respect. In the first couple months I think I put fifteen of them in the infirmary. It was only one or two at first. Last batch was four. Momma stopped sending enforcers after me. Oh, she'd have been happy to kill me for hurting her girls, but she didn't want any more hurt. Momma saw I wasn't trying to start trouble. Momma told her gang to leave me alone, at least officially. They all knew Momma would reward them if anyone stuck a shank in me, but it was hard to find anyone willing to chance it. Fer-de-lance almost called Momma a coward, which would have been one hell of a bad move. Don't think Momma trusted Fer-de-lance too much – which was probably smart. If Fer thought killing Momma would have made her head of the gang she'd have tried. But I don't think the rest of them would have supported her."
"And the second woman? You called her Nosey. What kind of a name is–"
Shego laughed. "Pretty sure she hated me for sticking her with that. I think she wanted to be called Bomber Girl or something."
"If you're trying to confuse me you're doing a wonderful job."
"When she started out she left kind of a calling card at the scene. Sort of a World War II style pinup like you'd see painted on the nose of a bomber. Maybe she wanted to be called Bomber Girl. Maybe she wanted to be called the Pinup. Maybe she wasn't thinking nickname at all and it was just a card. But when the media interviewed Team Go I called her Nose Art. She hated that even more than her real name."
"Her real name?"
"Edith. Pretty sure she was named for a grandmother or something. Probably the only Edith in the country less than seventy years old."
"And she caused problems too?"
"Actually, no. Several gangs, Momma had the biggest – with the worst reputation. I didn't have friends. Everyone knew Fer had convinced Momma to have me hurt – and after I'd put a couple of Momma's girls in the infirmary Momma wanted me hurt too. I imagine I annoyed the Hell out of her. If she didn't get me beaten she was weak, but if she kept getting her girls hurt she'd lose respect. If I'd had a friend behind bars they'd have beaten her to get at me. But I kinda felt like maybe Nosey and I had each other's backs. She didn't have any friends either, felt she was above the herd... Can't say I blame her. Anyway, we gave each other the occasional warning and once I 'accidentally' got in a fight with someone who was supposed to ambush Edith. You know, I'm kind of surprised she didn't get a pardon offer. Or maybe she did and turned it down."
"Why turn down a pardon offer? You jumped at it."
"They didn't give a lot of details about it. They were so vague they might have been asking if us if we were willing to take part in a medical experiment. I had enough time left on my sentence, and enough healing ability I figured I was safe. Nosey will be getting out in a month or two. She was one an early case for Team Go, and probably figured it was safer to wait 'til her sentence was done. Hey, maybe you should offer to let her sleep on the couch here."
"And now you're trying to make me jealous."
"Am not... Totally straight. Not sure if I want to say thanks for having my back – or rub her nose in the fact I got out before she did. She's got smarts, she won't end up asking, "You want fries with that?".
"That what you're worried about?"
Shego looked unhappy. "Yeah. Theft and henching pay okay, but I don't want to end up back in jail."
"You have a coaching offer."
"Not yet, and part-time. Part-time don't pay no bills."
Kim sighed, "I know something that'll make you feel better."
"What? I could use feeling better right now."
"Not right now, dear. It would be very uncomfortable here in the booth – and might get us arrested for indecent exposure. I suggest going back to the bedroom."
An hour later both exhausted women were smiling as they fell asleep, Kim's arms around Shego.
